Orphan Mentality

Music

Okay, strange topic to talk about today, but whenever you, if you want to cross any threshold

or gap in your life into something new, it's very difficult, at least for Christians, if we struggle with either a poverty mentality

or an orphan mentality. Just want to see if we can not take that into the next year.

And both these are very similar and the reasons can be sometimes generational, sometimes experiences we've been through,

where once bitten, twice shy, sometimes it's emotional, sometimes it's our upbringing, sometimes it's cultural.

All cultures come with this. So what if we could drop it? What if I could drop it and not, what if I could manage not being an orphan

for days on end in 2025, but I don't behave like an orphan. My mentality is not a poverty mentality.

The thing is when God first started, the culture that he and Adam established, the culture he and Adam established was the culture of a father and son.

That's the culture he and Adam established. He was the father, Adam was the son.

And God's great desire was, could you, Jacob, continue with that when you live on earth? Could you perpetuate that culture?

Could you make sure you don't slip into orphanhood every so often?

At the end of the day, the base definition for an orphan is one who does not have a father.

And are there moments in 2024 when I behaved as if I did not have a father?

And if I did, is it possible to go into 2025 and try not to have long moments like that?

Crossing thresholds is very difficult if a poverty mentality and an orphan spirit interrupts life every so often.

So the culture that was established between God and Adam was that of a father.

You see that in Luke 3.38 where in referring to the genealogy of Adam, he was the son of God.

And at some point, this culture was subverted by Satan, was subverted by the serpent.

And what was the first thing that happened? Adam hid from his father. Adam hid from his father.

Is it possible this year not to have a moment where I hide from the father?

Where I hide from the father's piercing questions, where I hide from the father's putting me out on the water without a boat?

Where I hide from the father because of my shame, because of my guilt?

Where I hide from the father because I absolutely messed up?

Is it possible not to hide from the father?

Can nakedness be a virtue again?

Where I stand before him, just absolutely unashamed, guilty perhaps, sin perhaps, but not hiding.

Is it possible to live in the glare of its holiness and surprisingly mixed in that holiness, favor and the smile of God?

It's an odd combination. We cannot imagine a God who is holy and a God who shows favor and a God who smiles combined into one.

But is it possible to stand and never hide in 2025?

What if, I mean the year will be transformational if I was able to pull that off.

But when the culture was subverted by the serpent and Adam hid from the father, the shift was so total that man did not have a father and he became an orphan.

And once he became an orphan, since then it's been perpetuated till today.

And the systems of both the world, systems of the world and unfortunately even the church to an extent keeps me in an orphanage.

Keeps me away from sonship.

What if this year in 2025, sonship was critically important to me and there would not be a moment, awake or asleep, when I for a moment forget, lose, dilute, stray away from the fullness of sonship to the father, even right now.

And when I speak to you, when I meet you, when you talk to me, when you say things to me, when you applaud me, when you disapprove of me, that I never lose this one thing called sonship.

Do you know how well I would be able to handle life?

But this is a challenge because this was also what was being done to Jesus.

If you are the son was the attack on Jesus.

At the end of the day, Matthew chapter 5 and 6 where Jesus says, why are you so concerned about things?

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

About what you wear?

About where you stay?

What's he going back to?

What are you going back to?

That don't you know you have a father?

It has been from the beginning of time till today.

The intent is always, can I remove you from a deep sense of sonship?

Because if I do, you will build your own fires to warm you by.

Any questions on that before we go on?

If Jesus was challenged, all I'm saying is, I will be challenged too.

And is it possible for me to now not slip?

Is it possible to have a year when sonship is never violated?

The very fact that you and I have a disconnect sometimes with God or are unaware of the Father is a result or a function of orphanhood.

Is a function of orphanhood.

Even, I mean, Brielle is always aware of her parents.

When she spills a glass full of water over you, when she is in your lap, when she's not in your lap, she's always aware of her father.

Orphanhood is a condition that makes me unaware of my father.

And there are so many moments in a day when I'm unaware of the father.

Is it possible to be like Jesus, where you're not unaware of him?

And I'm saying it is possible.

It's a stretch, but you can only take it moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour.

That's how everything works.

Moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour.

And in that awareness, you will find yourself behaving like God.

In that moment, you will find yourself thinking like God.

Can you imagine a visible flesh people, mortal, thinking and behaving like God, simply because they have become acutely aware of God for sustained periods of time?

It's just brilliant.

Just imagine that.

How is it possible for me to be aware of God and treat her badly or receive her offensively or think of you in a way that is polluted?

Impossible.

I can't do both.

I'll have to leave one to do the other.

The greater your time in his awareness, the harder it is to leave because it becomes difficult.

So the disconnect we feel is because of our orphanhood, but can't that change?

Yes.

Here are some of the ways that an orphan behaves.

And I pray, God, that these will be things that I'm able to change.

As an orphan, I find it hard to belong.

As an orphan, I find it hard to belong.

And so I restlessly seek place, position, purpose, recognition, identity.

Unfortunately, as an orphan, I seek it outside of God.

Otherwise, anybody who wants purpose without first being aware of the Father will not be able to accomplish the purpose.

Purpose, identity, destiny, vision are meaningless without an awareness and a connection with the Father.

An orphan can never get to purpose, destiny, identity, vision.

So it will have to be manmade.

It will have to be a golden calf.

The first thing that happens to Joseph is he begins to dream in his father's house.

The first thing that happens to Jesus is he begins to live in his father's house.

Do you not know?

Why did you go looking for me?

Didn't you know that I'd be in my father's house?

This is critical.

It is your heartbeat.

It is your pulse.

It's your heartbeat.

You get this right, everything else begins to fall into place.

So as an orphan, I find it hard to belong.

We find it hard to belong.

Now part of the reason we find it hard to belong is to belong will require trust.

To belong will require suspending suspicion.

To belong will require friction.

And an orphan is not used to it.

All his life he's had to fight to belong.

And then once he gets to a place where he can belong, there's this fear.

And only a father can take away the fear.

And then the people the father brings along.

And it's a restless seeking.

It's like Cain.

Cain was marked by God.

Nobody could kill him.

Nobody could touch him.

But he was restless.

He roamed the wilderness of Nauv.

Just restless.

Marked by God.

Nobody can kill him.

Nobody can touch him.

But restless.

A sense of belonging does not come because people are nice to you.

A sense of belonging comes because you have a father who is good.

And he picks a place for you.

And you decide at hell or high water I will stand here, stick here, endure this till he says move.

As I write these points down, if it is an issue, I pray God that towards the end of this hour we'll be able to spread it, cast it aside, put it in the rear view.

Another thing that happens is because we're not in the middle of the war, we're not in the middle of the war.

So that's the first thing that comes to mind.

And then the second thing is the third thing is the fourth thing.

And then the fourth thing is the fifth thing.

And then the fifth thing is the sixth thing.

And then the sixth thing is the seventh thing.

And then the seventh thing is the eighth thing.

And then the eighth thing is the eighth thing.

And then the ninth thing is the tenth thing.

And then the tenth thing is the tenth thing.

And then the tenth thing is the tenth thing.

And then the tenth thing is the tenth thing.

And then the tenth thing is the tenth thing.

And then the tenth thing is the tenth thing.

I'll build barriers that will not allow close interaction.

You can be friendly, but don't get too friendly.

I'll build barriers so that I can always have an exit clause.

I can always have an escape.

What if I wasn't like that?

What if I could change it?

There are some that you will find in certain relationships,

they are fine as long as the – I'm not talking about just friendships.

I'm talking about real intense relationships,

where you're fine in these intense relationships as long as it's on the outside.

The moment it gets into the depth of the soul,

you will do things to damage the relationship,

because now the person is getting too close.

This is how orphanhood works.

If the hat fits, wear it.

If the pebble hurts, take a shoe off.

Are you convinced of the Father's love?

Always.

Are you convinced of the Father's love?

Always.

Is it easy to imagine yourself as a father?

Do you imagine yourself as beloved son or beloved daughter?

Do you relate to that term?

Or do you have to imagine it?

Nothing wrong with imagining it. It's a start.

Do you have to imagine it?

Or if God turned to me and said,

beloved son Jacob, I instantly know, oh my God,

there's this shockwave that goes through my heart,

because it's an instant intimate connection.

You have words for your wife or for your child or for your husband,

words that the moment you say it, it's like, oh my God, something happens to them.

So how does it work when God says beloved son or calls you by the name?

Is it an instant physical emotional reaction?

Or is it hard to imagine myself as a beloved son?

One of the outworkings of orphanhood is that Christians know how to be servants.

But the negative side is a servant who is not first a son

will be a servant who at some point will feel exploited, burnt out or overused.

Let me say that again.

One of the outworkings of orphanhood is that you will enjoy being a servant,

because it's easy to relate, master servant.

There are rules.

There are parameters.

There are functions.

There are things to do.

There are boxes to stay within.

That's the outworking of an orphan spirit.

It's easy to be a servant.

But the flip side, the negative side is anybody who is a servant of the Lord

without first absolutely understanding what it is to be beloved son

will at some point feel exploited, overused or burnt out.

It's just a simple thing.

But it's just impossible to avoid it.

Why?

Because Jesus was first a son and then a servant.

You can never change it.

You change it and you're done.

That's one of the major things in churches, right?

We have servants of the Lord.

You cannot be a servant of the Lord without first being a son or a daughter.

And so one must ask these questions.

Do I keep a distance from people?

Do I...

Is suspicion always the first reaction?

Have I been hurt and therefore now it is impossible for me to go back?

Do I damage relationships sometimes because it's getting too close?

God created us to be an actual family.

A family is a messy, hurtful, offensive, offending.

And so the world never sees a full picture.

But can fight people do it?

Work through offense.

Work through hurt.

You're trying to build on earth the perfect model of what heaven was supposed to be.

Fight people.

Or is this offense going to be always on and off and on and off and it's just so pointless.

Any questions before we go on?

Any questions?

We must throw this aside.

Why must we throw it aside?

Because the earth does not know what it is for man to be in relationship with God as father.

The earth does not know it.

May I go one step further?

The church does not know what it is to be, what it is for man to be in relationship with God as father.

The church does not know it.

Can you see it in my interactions with heaven?

Will you see it in your interaction with Dilna?

Can you see it in your prayer to God when you stand here?

Can you see it in the intimacy that is displayed during worship?

Can I see it in your tears and your laughter?

Because you do see it with Joey and Aaron, with Briel and Iris, with Yahya and Judah and Hamari, with Phoebe and Jane.

You do see it.

Then shouldn't I display the same thing?

Must I not return to child-likeness?

That is what we are begging each other today.

Can we return to child-likeness?

Can I throw down the suspicions, the fears, the things that have happened in the past to me or to my dad or to my mom, my past church experience?

Can I throw that down?

Can I forgive those that hurt me?

So that once again I can return to child-likeness because if I don't return to child-likeness, the father cannot be seen.

For the kingdom is made up of such as these.

The kingdom is made up of such as these.

The kingdom is not made up of adults.

The kingdom is not made up of highly functioning people.

The kingdom is not made up of gifted, talented people.

The kingdom is made up of these.

These meaning who?

Ones that are like children.

Not childish, children.

Children.

This is why I like Vibi a little.

Yes, only a little.

This is why I like Judah.

I came on Sunday, had a brand new pair of shoes that I got for Christmas because he's the height of my shoes.

He walks past me and says, new shoes.

And you know how he walks, right?

And off he goes.

And I'm thinking to myself, I wish I could be like him.

When I am not child-like and when I don't know what I should do when God calls me beloved son,

when I'm a servant, that's when legalism and religion is required for me to maintain relationship.

Legalism and religion is a method to maintain relationship with God when I do not know sonship.

Legalism and religion is a method that I need to maintain a relationship with God when I do not know what it is to be like a child,

what it is to relate to him as a father.

We have our own versions of legalism and religion, but we always think others are legalistic, not us.

If I'm an orphan, I'm a self-made man.

The thing has disappeared.

If I'm an orphan, I'm a self-made man, and I'll find it very hard to receive things from you.

If I receive anything from you, I'll have to return the favor.

Are you like that?

Where if I do something for you, you'll somehow have to return the favor.

You can't bear owing someone something.

You always have to return the favor.

That's a quid pro quo basis. That's not kingdom.

I'm a self-made man.

You know the Stoics, the Greek Stoics used to say that every man should learn how to be self-sufficient

so that in times where there are difficult circumstances, you can resist them.

God says different. God says that I do not expect you to be self-sufficient.

I expect you to be God-dependent and body-reliant.

I do not expect you to be self-sufficient.

God hates self-sufficiency.

Self-reliance and self-sufficiency are actually what hollows out faith.

A person who is self-reliant and self-sufficient is a person who will not exert faith.

It's a classic display of orphanhood.

Instead, what God says is, I am the all-sufficient one.

Be God-dependent and body-reliant.

So orphanhood expresses itself in that area in two ways.

One, in returning any favour shown or two, in not taking any help so that you owe no man nothing.

Both should be spat on.

Spat on.

If this is how I am, I must change.

As an orphan, this is something that I struggle with and I'm sure you struggle, I think you would struggle with it too.

As an orphan, I strive to be acceptable.

I strive to be accepted.

I strive to be accepted.

Because my identity is not accepted.

Because my identity is tied to acceptance.

And your disapproval can ruin me.

I want to escape this.

This is what causes people pleasing.

I want to escape this.

Where you matter, what you say matters, but my identity is not derived from it.

This is why I like John chapter 13, verse 1-3, where it says,

John 13:1–3

Jesus, knowing where he came from and knowing where he was going,

took off his robe, tied a towel around him, bent down on his knees and washed the feet of his disciples.

The king, knowing where he came from and knowing where he was going, couldn't care less about what he would become.

His identity did not come from the work he does, what he's asked to do, the applause or the disapproval of people.

So when disapproval happens, I'm embittered by your disapproval.

I'm embittered by your disapproval.

When I'm embittered by your disapproval, I start devouring you.

People pleasing is one of our biggest struggles, guys.

Somehow, if we can escape this.

The Bible says that when in a church, believers start getting bitter, they devour each other.

In our bitterness, we devour each other, meaning we begin to think things about each other.

We begin to sometimes whisper things about each other.

We begin to then say things about each other.

And that's when I go from house to house, leader to leader,

movement to movement, conference to conference.

It just is endless. It's just a cycle.

Orphanhood deeply affects finances. Orphanhood deeply affects finances.

One, because an orphan has to fight for everything he earns, I hold for the future.

I hold for the future.

Here's two statements that I read that were pretty powerful.

A man is not measured by what he has, but by what has him.

And the second statement was,

when a pauper or an orphan gets a lot of money,

and the second statement was,

when a pauper or an orphan gets a lot of money,

the question is, did God gain a fortune?

Or lose a man?

Very troubling questions.

An orphan mentality absolutely affects how we deal with our finances.

A man is measured not by what he has, but what has him.

Is it my job? Is it my bank account?

And the second thing is, when a pauper or an orphan gets a lot of money,

the question is, did God gain a fortune or did he lose a man?

Because an orphan has to fight for everything he has, right?

Once he fights it, he'll hold it.

Because one of the things that scares us is lack.

That's another question, eh?

Is it possible for me not to be afraid of lack next year?

Not to be afraid of lack.

I wish I could get there, but I'm not afraid of lack.

Any questions?

I mean, sorry, go ahead.

Saving for the future is okay if it is so that you have savings to do with it

as either you please or as God pleases.

But saving for the future because there are rainy days ahead

and there is a likelihood that your money will save you because God won't.

Or saving for the future because you're afraid of what will happen

when a job is lost or a car is damaged or stuff like that.

That has fear as its basis.

And as long as savings have fear as their basis,

savings will take the wings of a bird and fly away.

Because again it goes back to the simple truth that I have a father.

Most Christian stewardship is fear or unbelief disguised.

If I wasn't afraid of lack, I assure you my life would be very different.

It's almost the statement that nothing is impossible for God

only comes into full play when I'm not afraid of lack.

That's how closely this is connected, guys.

Go ahead, Pawan.

Yeah, how do you come out of an orphan mentality when you owe people a lot of money?

It's so much pressure, right?

Where now you have to pay off your credit cards, you have to pay off bank loans,

when you have to pay off debts, you have to pay off the lease.

You know how much you earn during the month.

How in the world are you going to face next year?

How in the world are you going to face next month?

See, those responsibilities are real.

But what scares me then, Pawan, is the lack that I absolutely believe in.

And so will it go away magically in a month?

No.

But the starting point for everything is the loss of the fear of lack.

And then going to the father and beginning the process of father,

so much for the bank, so much for the credit card, so much for the house, so much for this.

Where is the wisdom I need?

I need wisdom. I need miracles. I need magic.

I know magic is not a Christian word, but I'm just saying I need this.

I need this.

But the starting point is always, father, I am so scared, and what scares me is lack.

And if that doesn't go away, everything starts and stops, starts and stops, starts and stops.

God doesn't give you according to your needs.

God gives you according to His riches in glory.

According to His riches, not according to your needs.

These are true facts.

God gives you according to His riches, not according to your needs.

to your needs and part of his riches is his wisdom. If you're an accountant, pray

even more because you're stuck in those books. You see numbers, we see birds and

butterflies, you see numbers. Sometimes numbers and cats. As an orphan, I find it

difficult to see someone like me succeeding or prospering. When you see

someone in the same category as you, succeeding and prospering,

you begin to think to yourself, how come them? Everybody is making it big but me.

There used to be a song when I was young. And when someone else receives something,

it's almost as if now that they've got it, I won't get it. As an orphan, and this

one of the things I want to do in 2025 is that I want to make sure that I don't

shame or guilt you, even in jest. What if we could spare each other shame and guilt?

An orphan thinks in terms of shame and guilt, driven by shame and guilt. Another

thing, and I have to end because it's close to night, another thing an orphan

doesn't. Please guys, as these words come out, if this is you, we'll take the next

four or five minutes to say, father, please help. Another thing an orphan does

is an orphan, an orphan is so afraid of failing, so afraid of failing. An orphan

will only do average things that they are good at. The idea of failure, the idea of

oh my god, I am not as good, is like scary. It's okay, it's fine. Hi, Joey.

There's childishness and childlikeness. I was only talking about childlikeness,

just so you know. Guys, an orphan is so afraid of failing, and therefore you will

never risk mammon, never risk anything new. You will never risk mammon, you will

never risk anything new, because the last thing you, I mean, everything an orphan

does is to create an image of I am like this, I am successful, I am this. The idea

of failure is so scary. Perfectionism is the playground of an orphan. Childlikeness

is so different. Childlikeness and perfectionism are so miles apart.

So, let's step into 2025 without this, eh?

Okay.

Risk, mammon is a guy in Kerala, sorry. No, because in Kerala you have people with

the name M-A-M-M-E-N, and so this is slightly different. It's mammon, M-A-M-M-O-N.

Mammon is basically a Greek for security that comes from wealth, security that comes from

wealth. So, we won't risk our security and we won't risk failure as long as we are

orphans, because we have worked so hard to gather it together. And the crazy thing is,

because I have earned everything, I don't have any inheritance, what I give forward

is only my sweat and blood. I don't have anything that I receive from others, right?

Find your father in heaven and find the person here on earth who can raise you or be like a

father to you, and you will find your prophecy, you will find your destiny, you will find your

genealogy, and you will find your purpose. Avoid that. Let me repeat it again, because

this applies to some of us here, and I'm not looking at you. I'm looking at the TV screen.

Find your father in heaven and find a person here on earth that can raise you up and love you or

care for you, for you, not for anything else but for you, as a father would, and you will

find your prophecy, as in what awaits you in the future, you will find your genealogy, as in what

stock you come from and where you need to head. You will find your purpose. You will find all these

things. And if you don't want this, cross your hands like this and resist it.

So, just, I definitely have these traits, guys. I'm not even being humble.

It's not part of my, it's not a chief characteristic in my life.

I'm not even being humble. I'm just being honest that there are so many orphan-like traits that

keep coming up. I want, I don't want to enter 2025 like that. You cannot rule, you cannot shepherd,

you cannot relate, you cannot walk with him like that. It's impossible.

So, if you're willing, just take two minutes and ask the Lord,

Father, I come to you like the prodigal returns.

Can you give me a robe?

Can you give me a ring?

Can you give me new shoes?

Can you slaughter a fatted calf for me?

Can your spirit fall on me? Because your spirit is a spirit of adoption.

If your prayer is sincere, your father hears it. If your prayer is sincere and he desires nothing

else, you know why he calls himself father? Because he has sons. Come on, man. You think he's going to

not listen to this? Come out of the pigsty of orphanhood. That food is lousy. It doesn't taste good.

The moment you make this prayer, he'll see you at a distance and he'll start running towards you.

Yeah? So let's just take the time and ask God, Father, could you clothe me again with a robe

that gives me back belonging to you first and then to others in your family? Can you give me a ring

so that I begin to walk as one restored to full sonship? Can you give me shoes so that I can walk

into places you send me? Because I have a father and he is good. I will risk mammon. I will risk

everything for him. Can we please enter into this thing called fun? Can we please enter into this

thing called fun? Children like fun. Do you like fun? Fun is not going for a movie. Fun is not

Facebook. Fun is ha ha. I really mean it. Yeah. Really? Ho ho ho is funny. I knew a pastor who

used to make his church go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I won't do that to you. But if you try it, try it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

See, it's funny. But let me get back to the point.

So Father, we come.

I don't want to spend any more time in the pigsty of orphanhood.

I'm not praying on my behalf. I'm praying on all our behalf and mine.

Jesus, I want to return to childlikeness.

Uncomplicated childlikeness.

Jesus, deliver me from shame and guilt. It doesn't live here anymore.

Your word was spoken. Your name brought healing to me.

Jesus, I want to know intimacy. I need your robe to be wrapped around me and be held close to your heart.

Need it. I won't squirm away. I won't get out. If I do, I know you'll come after me. Reckless love.

Jesus, thank you as you run towards people right now.

You run towards us.

Then you begin to kiss us.

Head, cheek, forehead, kissing us like you did the prodigal.

Precious, wasteful, extravagant father who was born in the year of the pig.

Can you take all of us and wrap us in your robe? Each person individually.

Jesus, can childlikeness become an important trait for us?

Please. I want to return to that I used to be like that.

Jesus, can you put a ring on our finger? Full sonship. Full sonship.

Not a servant. Servants are not given rings. Sons are given rings.

So that in the near future, we can speak and do things on your behalf.

Could you shod my feet again?

Spirit, lead me where that ocean song, where I will risk mammon, where I will risk failure

on the offensive with faith.

On the offensive with faith.

Jesus, bring me into fun.

Bring me into fun.

And lastly, spirit of God, you're the spirit of sonship.

As you hover over us, can you enter our lives?

That's all, Lord. Somehow you can maintain your resolutions. So could you maintain this one for us?

I pray that each of us will find something in our wallet or our pocket that we leave behind.

I pray that each of us will find something in our wallet or our pocket that we leave behind.

As a little sign saying, I'm no longer an orphan, something in our wallet could be just a bill, could be a hundred dollar bill,

or a receipt we no longer need, or a safety pin. Something left behind.

Not on the chairs here because then someone else will have to clean it.

In the garbage. Just leave it behind saying, I'm done with this.

This is what we ask for now. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Bless you guys as you go.