A Word to Wives on Father’s Day

Welcome everybody, Super glad to have you guys with us in

worship. If you would grab a Bible and

turn with me to first Peter chapter 3.

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

Let me pray for us and then I'll explain myself.

All right, as you're turning there, let's pray.

Father God, we love you and we love you because you first loved

us and you sent your Son Jesus Christ to save and to rescue and

to be not only Lord and not only Savior, but also chief treasure,

chief author of our joy. And so, Lord, as we come on this

Father's Day, we, we thank you for whoever it was in our nation

that decided our nation needed to stop and to remember and to

honor our fathers. And so we want to do just that,

Say thank you for our fathers. And we want to turn our

attention. Lord, as we're gathered, we want

to turn our attention to your word and ask you to come and

teach us and ask you to equip us, Lord, to be faithful in this

world for your glory and for our joy.

And so would you teach us in these next few moments, We ask

it in the name of Jesus and for his sake.

Amen. So you are in First Peter

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

chapter 3. Let me explain what we're doing.

Several years ago, it was a Mother's Day.

I wanted to give our mothers a great gift.

And so I was trying to think of what to do.

And what I, what I settled on was that I would preach to the

men of our church about biblical masculinity, thinking that that

would be a great gift for our mothers, for our men to be more

like Christ. And in exchange on Father's Day,

I teach on biblical femininity, some message on biblical

femininity. And so if you're a visitor with

us, you might think that kind of strange, but think about this

for a moment of why this is such an important thing on the

regular to be talking about. If you, if you remember the book

of Romans chapter 1, Paul talks about the wrath of God being

Romans 1 · chapter mention

revealed from heaven against all unrighteousness of men who by

their unrighteousness suppress the truth.

They they push the truth down by their own sin.

And Paul explains what happens in a culture where what they do

is they exchange the glory of God for the image of something

created and they worship some creature.

And when, when they do that, when we exchange the glory and

the greatness of God for the image of a creation, God gives

us over to that decision. And then we make another

exchange. We exchange the truth of God for

a lie and God in Romans one gives us over to that.

And then as the last step, we exchange the natural relations

of men and women for unnatural relations between men and men

and women and women. And God gives a nation over a

culture over to that debauchery. So, so it's, it's exchanging the

glory of God, the truth of God and the natural functions and

God, that the mark of God's wrath, the mark of his judgment

on a people is not fire falling from heaven, although that's

still in the cards. The mark of his wrath is that he

gives us over to those things. And so if you dwell in a land

where we don't know the difference between a man and a

woman, we dwell in a land that's under the wrath of God, We've

been given over to these things. And So what we want to do is, is

lead our nation in repentance. But if you think about this

carefully for a moment before we dig into this text, you'll

realize that unfortunately, many churches in our land have sought

to buddy up to the world, to teach relevant truth to the

world. And so they'll say things like,

you know, we, we don't really want to dwell on things like

biblical masculinity or biblical femininity, which are God's not

only his desire and his design, they're also his requirement.

We don't want to talk about those things because the world

won't won't love us. They won't draw near to us,

which means that many churches in our land, in a land that has

been given over to these monstrous ideas, many in the

church never hear sermons on gender, on marriage, on

sexuality, because that's too much flying in the face of the

world. And so if you've never been here

before, let me introduce myself in our church.

My name is Pastor Will Martin. I'm the pastor of Trinity

Reformed Church and we want to desperately buddy up, not to the

world, but to the Lord. Not the rebellious world, not

the devil who has deceived it. We court and we try and maintain

a fear of the Lord and take our marching orders and our

standards of beauty from God, not from this world that has

lost its mind. We couldn't care less if the

world loves or hates this about us.

We just don't care. We care for their sake.

We want all men to come to repentance.

We want them to know truth and goodness and beauty.

But we will not even remotely consider softening biblical

language to to suit a culture that uses things like the

accusation of offense to get people away from the truth.

You think about that. Like you in our culture, if you

say something true and somebody goes that hurts my feelings, a

lot of times you'll hear good Christians, well meaning

Christians say, oh, I'm, I'm so sorry.

Well, we're not sorry. Maybe if you're offended by the

truth, maybe in God's grace, you ought to be offended because you

need to change. OK, so we are eager to have the

word of God examine us, not the other way around, where we

examine and become judges of God and of his word.

How ludicrous could you? Could you be the word of God is

our standard because Christ is our Lord and and and one other

thing that's really important before we dig in.

We will never sort of quietly acknowledge God on paper right.

We believe God is the essence of truth and goodness and beauty.

His word and his ways and life under his blessing is sweeter

than honey. In his presence there is

fullness of joy at his right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Listen to me, brothers and sisters, our God is the author

of human laughter. He is the author of human

satisfaction. He is the author, the creator of

human happiness, of sex, of appetite, of food, of drink, of

thirst, of all of it. Anything good comes from this

God. And so when he says, hey, you

should do it this way, we don't want to tell that God whose idea

it's those things are his idea. We don't want to tell him now

we're going to try it our own way.

No, all of it is his stuff. So why in the name of heaven

would we shy away from delighting ourselves in all that

God is and in all that God has commanded?

So Please remember, never forget that it was the devil that first

insinuated that the Word of God was spoken to rob you of your

joy. God knows that in the day you

eat of it, you'll be like God. He's trying to keep you down and

keep you back. We know better.

That's demonic doctrine. We know that God's Word is

always spoken so that our joy may be established.

So no, we do not apologize for believing the Bible as written

in all of its parts. Once it's properly understood,

we will not merely sign a doctrinal statement and then

hide those doctrines in the bowels of our existence.

No, we're going to put them on display and say this is who we

are. This is what we love.

We're not going to conceal biblical standards.

We will boast in the Lord and in the Word.

He is spoken in the midst of a culture who has lost their

minds, and we will seek His power to render glad obedience

to the things that God has decreed.

And so in that light, what I want to do is I want to read

briefly a text from first Peter 3 and I want to give my sisters

and the Lord an exhortation towards faithfulness and

biblical femininity. So if you're in first Peter

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

chapter 3, that's just an explanation of why we're why

we're here in this text on this day.

So look with me in First Peter chapter 3 and we'll lean into

1 Peter 3 · chapter mention

these things Peter says likewise, wives, be subject to

your own husband's, so that even if some do not obey the word,

they may be 1 without a word by the conduct of their wives when

they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Do not let your adorning be external.

I think the idea merely is merely external.

It's not as though God, the author of beauty, does not like

beauty. He does like beauty, but that

the the thrust of a woman would not be external beauty, the

braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing

that you wear. But let your adorning be the

hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a

gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is not just

precious, but what very precious.

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn

themselves by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah

obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything

that is frightening. So let me exhort you to a couple

of things from this text. First of all, and I'll explain

the text as I go along. First of all, if you have a

husband, you have a scriptural obligation to submit yourself to

him, to honor him and to enjoy him.

Three things to submit yourself to him, to honor him and to

enjoy him if you have a husband. So First off, submission, it

would be easy, as a lot of people like to say is there's

like maybe one or two texts that that kind of talk about that.

But if you look at them in their context, they don't really mean

that. If you just read a cursory

reading of the New Testament, you're going to come across

First Corinthians 1434, Ephesians 522, Colossians 318,

Titus 2/5, First Peter 3, verse one, all of which command a wife

to be in, to submit herself to her covenant head, her husband.

This is not a small doctrine in our faith.

This is just plain text of Holy Scripture.

And so it would be, it would be unfaithful of me to just pretend

like, well, it's not really that big of a deal when God repeats

himself three times. It's a huge deal.

What about 5:00? Well, it's an even bigger deal.

So submission means simply to put yourself voluntarily

underneath the authority of someone else.

So brothers, my brothers, as we're talking, as I'm talking to

the sisters, let me just parentheses here.

This cannot be forced. This is a word to wives.

Submit yourselves to your husbands.

You will search the scriptures in vain to find the text that

says husbands, ensure that your wife is submitting to you.

It's not there because if it's a forced thing, it is not

submission. It's just tyranny.

I can get Gracie to do loads of things by twisting her arm.

That's not submission, nor is it beautiful, nor is it what God

required, nor is it safe for me because.

Because God would strike me down.

I believe so husbands, you sort of pray this over your wife.

You, you talk about these things, but this is not your

mandate. This is holy scriptures mandate

on your wife, ladies, to submit yourself to your husband

voluntarily to your own husband. By the way, there's no text in

Scripture that says women submit yourself to men.

Women generally submit yourself to all men.

Generally it's not there. It's husbands or wives.

Submit yourself to your own husbands.

OK, so submission second is to honor.

If you look in first Peter 3 verse 5 and 6, this is how holy

1 Peter 3:5

women who hoped and God used to adorn themselves by submitting

to their own husband as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord.

And you are her children. If you do good and do not fear

anything that is frightening. It's an amazing thing.

You ever pondered that when in Holy Scripture did Sarah call

Abraham Lord? Well, I'm glad you asked.

As I'm about to tell you, there's a text where Abraham

looks up and sees three men coming his way and we're told

that one of those men is Yahweh. It's it's pre Incarnate Jesus.

The other two are angels that make their way to Sodom to pass

judgement on Sodom. But when these three men sit

down with Abraham, Abraham feasts them and and the text

says, and I quote then Yahweh said to Abraham, So this is very

God, a very God talking in human form to Abraham.

And he says these words. I will surely return to you

about this time next year. And Sarah, your wife shall have

a son. And Sarah, put this in your

mind. Sarah was listening at the tent

door behind. She's dropping them, ES she's

just listening. I hear my name.

What is this? And the text says she was

listening behind the tent door. Now Abraham and Sarah were old,

advanced in years, and the way of women had ceased to be with

Sarah. And so Sarah laughed and she

said, listen to these words carefully, she said, not out

loud, she said to herself, so this is holy scripture laying

bare the internal dialogue of our matriarch, the matriarch of

faith. And this is what she says.

After I am worn out and my Lord is old, shall I have pleasure?

I just marvel at that, that Sarah so honored her husband

that even in her internal dialogue she is holding him as

Lord. She called him Abraham.

She called him my Lord in her heart when no one was around to

hear it. And so, sisters, let me ask you,

if the Lord laid there in Holy Scripture your internal thoughts

towards your husband, what would we read?

What would we read? My idiot husband is too old to

have a baby with me. What?

What kind of stuff would be there in your heart?

This is a standard that is beyond high, but you were to

court a heart that truly honors your husband in Word and in

deed. And that heart always becomes

visible in the way that you treat him in public.

So you the, the, the requirement is submission, the requirement

is honor. And then also the requirement is

to enjoy your husband. And some men make this very

difficult and shame upon us when we do.

But I want you to, I want you to listen to this.

This is Titus, Titus chapter 2. This is what Paul commands.

Titus 2 · chapter mention

He says, I want older women likewise to be reverent in

behavior, not slanderers or slaves.

Too much wine. They are to teach what is good

and so train the young women. OK, so older women are to not do

these things. They're to teach and train.

And we would ask, what are you to teach and what are you to

train? What are they to do?

What, what service are they to render to the young women as

they teach them and as they train them?

Paul says that they are to teach and to train the young women to

first and foremost love their husbands.

Philandross it's it's Phileo is is not agape.

Agape is the self sacrificing love of Christ.

Me for them. I'll die in your place.

Phileo is like a brotherly friendliness.

It's two guys smoking a cigar and drinking a whiskey and

enjoying conversation. It's enjoyment, it's laughter,

it's lighthearted. Man, I just love this person.

And Paul puts them together and says, teach them to filet O

their husbands, to enjoy their husbands, to delight in them, to

like their company. And then the second is to do the

same thing, filet O Technon, to love their children, to be one

who delights in their children. And so toleration of your

husband, toleration of your children is not the standard.

God wants there to be a deep seated enjoyment of him and

them. Like that's the standard.

And so by by the way, I would just say you, you older women,

you would say, if you would say like, I don't know if I have

anything to teach the younger women.

I'll bet you I could tell you one thing.

As you watch some of the mothers in this church run around and

chase wild animals right in here and change diapers and get poo

on their hands and all of these things and want to, you know,

pull their hair out that you might be able to tell them, Hey,

treasure these years because they're not going to be here for

long. Drink these in.

Drink these in. Learn to enjoy these moments

because you're going to look back on them with a deep longing

that God would give them back to you.

So a couple of things here. All of this and especially in in

in Titus, but in first Peter as well.

All of this has as its goal that the word of God may not be

reviled that the way that we conduct ourselves as God's

people who have been marked by his name, that our conduct would

bring glory and honor to our God and not the other way around.

Not that people would look at us and say man you you you are a

Christian like that. That's a it's a terrible

testimony. These things are so that the

word of God may not be reviled and and I quote that in

everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our savior.

So, so picture ladies, when you and, and, and, and Titus, it's

all of those commands to, to older men, to younger men, to

older women, younger women, to, to masters, to slaves, all of

that. Conduct yourself this way so

that in these things we may adorn the doctrine of God our

Savior. We can beautify and display.

We can't make it more beautiful, but we can display the doctrines

of God our Savior as we do these things.

Now, second thing that you need to know about these standards is

that they are all impossible if what you're trying to do is

muster. So ladies, if you go home and

say, OK, so I haven't been submitting, I haven't been

honoring and I haven't been enjoying my husband.

So I'm going to go home and I'm going to make a check box list

of like, these are the things I'm going to do.

You're off on the wrong foot already.

One of the most helpful texts is in Ephesians where right before

Paul tells wives to submit to their own husbands and husbands

to love their wives as Christ loved the church, right before

that he says be being filled with the Holy Spirit, that these

are things only that that we can only do when the Holy Spirit has

filled us and is guiding and directing and empowering us.

And so if you need help here, you need to be praying and learn

dependence upon the Holy Spirit. OK, so if you have a husband

first, first point, if you have a husband, those are your

biblical requirements. You, you owe the Lord submission

and honor and and enjoyment of your husband.

Second thing, if you do not yet have a husband but want one, if

you're a young gal in this church thinking like man, I

would love one day to be married.

Well, this is your exhortation. You have an obligation to be

wise and considering what type of man you would gladly bestow

the honor of your submission upon.

You have to be as as man comes to your dad and says, I'd like

to pursue. And you start to pray and you

start to think about this guy. You need to be asking this

question. Is, is this guy a worthy man for

me to bestow the honor of my submission to him?

So I told those of you who were there yesterday at Kendall's

wedding and at every wedding that a wedding is a coronation.

Husband is the head of the wife. Wife, an excellent wife is the

crown of her husband. And so it is, ladies, an

excellent wife is a crown. You are, you are the glory of

your husband, the glory of the glory of God.

And so single sisters, when you enter into a covenant of

marriage, you're choosing to bestow a breathtaking honor on

one man. And so before you do that,

afterward you're it's all said and done, that's who you are to

honor. But before you do that, you need

to ask yourself a few questions. Is this man that's pursuing me

with submission to him and with honoring him and enjoying this

man, would it be abnormally difficult?

Is this guy that much of A bore and a tool shed that it's going

to be impossible for me to enjoy him or submit to him?

You might ask, is this man unwise?

Meaning, is he wise in his own eyes to the extent that he won't

listen to counsel from outside? Is he, has he reached the

pinnacle of divine thoughts, so that no man in his life can

speak in? Or is he humble?

Is he, is he teachable? Is he pursuing the men in his

life for wisdom and for training?

Is he disobedient to his own authorities?

Right. There's nothing as ugly as a man

who will not obey the command to love his wife as Christ loved

the church. But oh buddy, he's got the open

Scripture saying submit to your husband in everything as to the

Lord, that's ugly and it's sinful.

No, we're all to submit. We're all to obey.

I talked to a young man. This is a couple years ago, who

was wanting to pursue somebody and I asked him just trying to

get to know him, Hey, who are the great men in your life?

The great influences that you would say?

Man, this guy is, is really sharp.

And I was like, you know what? And so he, he started with his

dad and he goes, man, I really love my dad, but I just don't

want to pattern my life after him.

He's got this and that problem. And so he, he dismisses his dad

as a, as a resource. And then he says, and I've got a

great pastor. He's a great preacher, He's a

really good guy, but I just don't, there's something off

about my pastor. And so I don't really look up to

him so much. And, and I told him that and he

said, well, maybe you should pursue this elder who's a really

godly man. And I kind of got to know him

and I didn't really like this about him.

And so dad is out, pastor is out, elder is out.

But I'll tell you who I really want to be like.

I've got this guy. He's one year younger than me in

college. He's my roommate, he's my peer

because he's just like me and doesn't challenge me at all and

doesn't say stop being an idiot like the older men in my life

will do. So that's going to be difficult.

Ladies, as you, as you're looking at a guy, is he unwise?

Is he disobedient to his own authorities?

But he's going to come in and require submission, your

submission to him. Is he dis curious?

Has he has he already arrived at all wisdom?

Is he discourteous in the pursuit of a bride?

Is he looking for a crown? And is he treating you that way,

opening doors, saying kind things to you?

Is he treating you in a way that's honoring to you?

Or is it clear that he just wants a new mom to wash his

dirty underwear? Like what?

What is he after? And and just try and try and see

that on him. So this is the question of

courtship. Would submission to this man be

wearisome or would it be wonderful?

So this year, think about this. Forrest was given Haley, Sean

was given Hannah, Eli was given Grace, Aaron was given Kendall.

And what those four young men received was royal dignity and

future generations. So make sure, Single Ladies,

that you're not given to a man that make sure that you are

being given to a man who's worthy of that glory.

He does not have to be perfect, right?

Marriage presumes the guy is imperfect and he needs a helper.

So he doesn't have to be perfect, but he better be

perfectible. He better be perfectible.

OK. Thirdly, my sisters in the Lord,

be more concerned from first Peter 3, be more concerned with

developing the beauty of feminine virtues of your soul

than in nearly looking beautiful.

So I read this to you in verse 3.

Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair,

the putting on of gold or jewelry, the clothing you wear,

but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with

imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's

sight is very precious. So you'll notice that the hidden

person of the heart with imperishable beauty of a gentle

and quiet spirit is what God finds precious.

God does not find precious the right number on a scale.

He does not find as precious the right bra size, the right

hairstyle, the right tint of your makeup color.

That's not what he's concerned with.

He looks at your heart. And when he finds in a woman's

heart a woman who is gentle, she's humble, she's quiet, she

has a quiet reserved spirit. God looks at that and says that

is precious in my sight. By the way, gentle in that text

is, is the same word when Jesus said blessed are the meek, for

they will inherit the earth. Meekness is strength reigned in.

It's the racehorse giving Kitty rides to little kids.

That's meekness. And that's what women are to be.

It's not weakness. You just need to be a weak,

tender little thing. You need to be stronger than

steel, but you need to have that.

You need to have that power of influence and, and, and all of

the gifts that God has given you reined in.

There needs to be a meekness there.

Quietness means well ordered or not frantic.

So there's no panic. There's no loud attention

seeking, no high drama so that I can be the center.

I'm just content to be a part of things and to be quiet, a quiet

part of the crown. So some of you old timers might

remember a clip of Shirley MacLaine running down the beach

screaming I am gone. Maybe none of you guys remember

that, but I remember people showing me that and talking

about it. She's running down.

This famous, wealthy, beautiful woman is running down the beach

and she's saying I am God. And he even sits in the heavens,

laughs and turns away in disgust at a woman who is loud and who

is aggressive, saying I am gone. But when a woman is gentle and

quiet in soul, our God leans into whisper.

This is what I call precious fourth sisters.

Bring your questions to your husband's.

I'm going to jump to a different text, but it's important that we

read this First Corinthians 14. You can turn here with me if you

want to see it. You don't have to.

You can just listen. But first Corinthians 14, this

is what Paul exhorts the women in in Corinth.

And by the way, this may be a space maker text, but that's OK.

If you got a problem, you've got a problem with Paul, not with

Pastor will. But you can have a problem with

me too. That's fine.

But here's what he says. As in all the churches of the

Saints. So this is not unique to

Corinth. This is in all the churches.

He says the women should keep silent in the churches, for they

are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission as the

law also says. If there is anything they desire

to learn, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is

shameful for a woman to speak in church.

So let me explain a couple of things here.

First off, the context. If you look back at verse 26,

the context is orderly worship. This is not that when women come

into the church, they're to be seen and not heard.

They can never open their mouth, not that at all.

This is in the context of orderly worship, that all

things, when the church is gathered, they're to be done in

order. And I believe what was going on

in Corinth, I won't fight you for this, but I believe this to

be the case, is that when Christ came into the world, he bestowed

joint airship on women. And so they enjoyed for the

first time in history, the the dignity of being treated as an

equal, as a real person, not as chattel, not as a thing to be

traded or bartered for, but as real eternal souls that under

the inspiration of Christ, that Christ honored all of the women

in his life. And so as these women were

coming into the church and experiencing equality, you can

just sort of imagine this, right?

They're coming to church and they hear somebody preaching and

they say, wait, wait, wait, wait, go back.

I, I, I didn't catch the reference.

Would you please explain that? I don't understand that.

I think you're wrong. And they're, they're

interrupting the ordered worship.

And So what Paul says is if they, if they have a question,

if there's anything they desire to learn, let them ask their

husbands at home. And so let me try and apply this

to our context. Any woman in our congregation

can get pastoral counseling. And so brothers, it's not, it's

not inappropriate if your wife says, I would like to talk to

the elders, I would like to get pastoral counseling here.

That's not an offense against the headship, your headship in

your home. But having said that, it should

be normal practice for our wives and daughters to be asking their

covenant heads, their husbands or their fathers, not their

elders first. OK, so let me let me run a

couple of scenarios with you. Scenario 1A wife has a question

she asks pastor and pastor answers.

Now in this first scenario, wife has her answer.

Pastor feels useful and honored to be asked.

This is one of the this is like crack cocaine to me.

When somebody says I need help understanding this text or I

need to think through this, it's my favorite thing.

I love to do that because it makes me feel one honored, but

also useful because I'm not the guy you ask about plumbing,

right? I'm not the guy you asked about

electric. Or can I pull this?

Can you help me build this house?

Can you pull this carburetor and fix it?

No, I'm sorry, I can't do that. So I'm utterly useless in those

contexts. But in this one context, I can

be useful. And so I love that.

So in scenario 1, nothing sinful, nothing wrong.

Wife has a question. She asked faster, she gets

question answered, he feels useful and honored.

But what if we did it this way? Scenario two, wife has a

question and she goes to her husband who she knows probably

does not know this answer. So husband, now his wife is

leaning on him. Hey, I need you to speak into

this. I need counsel here.

And so he starts to read the word more carefully, praying,

asking God for clarity. He calls pastor or elders and in

long form conversation speak into this.

What does this mean? Until he has a handle on all of

the issues at hand that answers his wife's question, and then

the husband gets to do something that pastors and elders can't

really do. And that's to distill all of

that as it concerns our unique family and our unique situation.

So I'm taking all of the theological answers, all the big

picture stuff. I'm distilling it for my

household, and now I'm coming and bringing an answer for my

wife. Now, in the result of this

scenario is the wife has her answer, just like in the first

scenario in the but but added to that, you have a husband who

feels respected and honored, who is more equipped than he was

before his wife asked him. And you have a husband who's

closer to church leadership than before.

And you have a pastor who still feels honored and respected.

And that's what really matters most.

Is your pastor. OK?

So I haven't lost anything. Bride hasn't lost anything, but

husbands have gained much indeed.

The church has gained much indeed.

And so this is common practice. Most, most normal practice.

Ladies, sisters, would you take your questions first and

foremost to your husband's? If you have a question, take it

to your husband before you search AI, before you Google,

before you ask your pastor, go to your covenant head and give

him listen to me. Give him the honor of being your

first ask, and you see, if that doesn't impact him in a drastic

way, that I believe my husband to be wise and capable on my

behalf. And so I'm going to take my

questions to him. OK.

Fifthly, and I believe this is last, I'm almost done.

Back to first Peter. My exhortation to my sisters is

to embrace what the scriptures call your weaker vessel status.

Man, this is a spacemaker sermon indeed.

Listen to these words first. Peter 3 verse 7 command to

1 Peter 3:7

husbands. Likewise, husbands, live with

your wives in an understanding way, showing honor, showing

honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are joint

heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may

not be hindered. So show honor to your wife, live

with her in an understanding way, showing honor to her as the

weaker vessel, so that your prayers may not be hindered

because she is a joint heir with you.

So think about this with me if you're to, if you're to thump a

man, what you ought to hear is a funk, like an oak task full of

wine. You ought to hear a funk, a

sturdy, unyielding, unbending boom when you thump a man.

When you thump a woman, which you should never do, it's a

illustration. Guys, come on.

When you thump a woman, what you should hear is the soft and

ringing tin of a crystal glass full of wine.

Do you see the difference? One side you hear the thunk of a

cask of oak. 1 you hear the tin. Now ask yourself, which is

stronger? Well, the the oak is not going

to. I mean, it can break, but it's

not going to break as easily as the wine glass.

Which is stronger? It's the oak.

Now, brothers and sisters, which is better?

Which is better? Well, stronger, right?

No, of course not. They're just different.

They're not better. Not one is not better with the

oak cast. What you can do is take

something precious and you can put it in there to be guarded

and then you can bury it for a decade and it'll get better.

It'll get richer, it'll get more mature.

And then when you take it, but, but, but the problem is it'll

get better and it'll get more mature.

And it's all great and good down in the in the bowels of your

castle, but what's the problem? Nobody can smell it, nobody can

see it, and nobody can sip it. So what do you need?

You need a lovely glass in which you can take that wine that's

been protected. You can put it in the glass so

that people like myself can swirl it around and look at the

light coming through. We can smell it, we can see all

the complexity of it. And it exists that the glass is

designed to display, not to protect, to display again, which

is better? Neither, They're just different.

They're just different. So husbands, we're to show honor

to our wife as a weaker vessel. Wives, don't try to avoid being

what God has made you. Don't try and be an oak barrel

when He has made you a crystal glass.

Don't try to run the show because you will ruin it if you

try and run the show. Seek to beautify the show

because you are a woman, and as a woman you are the glory of the

glory of God. So let me prove this by asking

you what would have happened years ago if Eve would have laid

aside her opportunity to trust her own judgement when she saw

that the tree was a delight to the eyes and desirable to make

one wise? She took, she ate, she gave to

her husband with her. What would have happened if she

would have? Just for a moment said Adam.

What do you think remind me what God said.

What should we do here? Lead me, protect me.

I'm I'm being told something that's different.

Sort this out for me Speak in way in here.

What do you think would have happened?

Well, we live in a culture that for decades has been preaching

the I am woman and hear me roar sermons every TV show, every

movie, every book. This is the sermon.

And we wonder why women in our day, statistically, are more

miserable than they've ever been.

And we also wonder why there's an absolute absence of good,

strong, wise men in our land. Perhaps, sisters, the men would

rise up to glory if in the church, women showed them how

much they are needed by leaning on them and trusting them.

So sisters, does your husband know that you want him to lead,

that you need him to lead? Or is he having to fight you

tooth and nail every step of the way for headship of the home?

Do you? Do you let your husband pray at

meal time? Do you let him do that?

Do you allow your husband time with his friends?

Do you tell your husband this or that, or do you trust your

husband to lead? Do you defer to your husband in

things concerning the household? Do you thank him for leading and

providing and protecting your family?

Those things are are vastly different.

Now. You might wonder why these

things are important and why we should think so carefully about

them. You might ask, how important are

these things? Are they really important, just

kind of important? Well, the answer is that they

are essential, for these things display the gospel of Jesus

Christ to a world that needs to see it fleshed out, not just

here. It preached.

The end of the text in Titus 2 where Paul requires women to

enjoy their husbands and children, is so that the Word of

God may not be reviled, and so that in everything they may

adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

The world hears headship and submission and thinks abuse and

tyranny, But when Christ is the example of headship and the

church is the example of submission, then we should be

able to see beauty beyond measure in these things.

For what did Christ do with total sovereign authority?

Answer that question, Christian. What did Christ do with

uncompromised authority and lordship?

Well, I'll tell you what he did. He laid aside His glory and

became a man. He laid aside his royal

privilege and embraced the role of a servant Lord.

He did not lay aside His lordship.

He used His lordship to serve His people, because that is what

Lordship does. He took our sin, our guilt, our

shame upon himself and took those things to a Roman cross so

that they could all die there. He saw to it that all of our sin

was laid in the grave with Him. And he saw to it that when he

rose from the dead, your sins and mine did not.

That's what he saw to. They remain buried to this day.

His perfect righteousness becomes ours as a gift to be

received by faith alone. That's what Lordship does.

Therefore, this table is the table of headship and

submission. If you don't like these things,

you don't like this table. This table is the table of

headship and submission, because it is the table where we are

reenact weekly the breaking of our covenant head so that his

broken wife might be made whole in him.

If you can't see beauty there, you got all my pity in the

world. It's the most beautiful idea

ever. If you're living an unrepentant

sin, greed, idolatry, fornication, homosexuality, this

is not your table because it would be deadly for you.

God's holiness would not be defiled by your presence here.

OK, God's holiness is not in danger.

An unrepentant Sinner would be in danger of being destroyed by

the presence of God's holiness at the table.

So for your own good, if you have not repented of your sin

and trusted in Christ, this is not your table.

It's dangerous for you. For your sake, do not come

unless and until you renounce lifestyles that Christ

abominates. But if you have repented of your

sin and have been baptized into union with Christ, then this is

your table, especially because you do not deserve it.

You've repented, you've trusted in Christ, and yet you're still

in process. Your this is your table.

It's, it's for you. Christ is our Savior as well as

our Lord. He delights, like all good

husbands, for his bride to bring her problems to him that he

might solve them. And so, brother, sister in

Christ, bring your imperfections to him right here and right now.

Bring your lingering sense of shame.

Bring them to Christ because it is his desire to take them from

you so that he can leave in its place the fullness of joy.

Listen to me, Don't dare not to dare.

You come and welcome to Jesus Christ.

Let me pray for us. Father, we ask in the name of

Jesus as your covenant bride, the covenant bride of Christ

that was fashioned from his wounded side, presented back to

Him as a bride in glory and splendor.

We ask that you would grant this table to be for us what it needs

to be, a real participation in the body of Christ together.

Holy Spirit, would you draw near to us taking the wine, taking

the bread, and make them efficacious to us?

I pray, Lord, for for those struggling with a lingering

sense of sin, guilt and shame, that at this table they would

find real freedom as they chew and meditate upon the gospel of

the Lord Jesus Christ. We ask it in his name.

Amen. Amen.