The Importance of Wisdom in Relationships – Part 2 Proverbs 18:24 · Join the Journey

If your car broke down at 2 a.m., who’s the first person you’d call?

Who would actually answer? The truth is, relationships are one of the most powerful forces in our lives. Proverbs warns us that if we walk with fools, we’ll suffer harm. But if we walk with the wise, we’ll grow wise. So let’s open God’s Word and see how His wisdom shapes the friendships, families, and marriages we depend on most.

Last week we began looking at some practical applications of wisdom in our relationships with others. We saw how our words and actions reveal the condition of our hearts. That’s why we must guard our hearts—because from them flows either life or destruction in our relationships.

Proverbs, and the rest of Scripture, give us wisdom for how we relate to others. We’ve already seen how we are to relate to strangers, neighbors, and enemies: to love, forgive, and care for them—even when it means sacrifice and suffering.

Today we’re moving a little closer in our circles of relationships to look at God’s wisdom for our friends and our families.

Wisdom for Friendships

If you have your Bibles, turn with me to Proverbs 18. If you don’t have one, there are some on the back table. Proverbs is in the Old Testament, right after Psalms and before Ecclesiastes. We’ll be in several passages today, but let’s start in Proverbs 18.

Proverbs 18:24

How many of you have a friend who sticks closer than a brother—you know you can call them, and they’ll be there? And how many of you have had unreliable friends? Have you seen the truth of this verse play out in your own life?

There’s a well-known line from The Town, a movie with Ben Affleck. Affleck’s character walks into the room and says, “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, and you can never ask me about it later.” His friend replies, “Whose car are we going to take?” That kind of loyalty shows a bond that’s closer than family. But the movie also shows how unreliable friends can lead you into destruction.

You may have also heard the saying, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” or “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

That’s true. Unreliable friends can lead us to ruin, but good friends can strengthen us. So yes, we should examine the kind of people we spend time with—but we should also ask ourselves, Am I the kind of friend who builds others up, helps them, and sticks closer than a brother?

Proverbs 13:20

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

We are built for relationship. We need each other because we are better together. Who you walk with, is who you will become.

Ecclesiastes 4:8–12

There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless—a miserable business! 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

We often look at these verses with our marriages. And that is true but Solomon here is talking about our friends. Two are better than one, because if one falls, the other can help them up. It says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This is why, at Journey Church, we: We build strong relationships, walking side by side through the messiness of life with prayer, accountability, and encouragement.

But here’s the reality: sometimes we isolate ourselves. Sometimes we’d rather not show up at church, or we come late so we don’t have to talk to anyone. Sometimes we don’t feel like going to Life Group. Sometimes we avoid calling a friend because we’re too busy, or we know it’ll take too long. But friends—we can’t live that way. God made us for community. Push through. Show up. God made us for community. You need it most when you feel like it least.

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Friendships are messy, but they are worth it. Two are better than one. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. So check your friendships: are they reliable or unreliable? Also ask: am I the kind of friend who sharpens others? If you’re looking for friendships like that, get connected to a Life Group. You’ll find people who will walk with you, pray with you, and sharpen you.

Wisdom for Families

Now let’s move even closer—to our families. We’ll start with parents.

Proverbs 22:6

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Parents, it’s not the school’s responsibility to raise your kids. It’s not even the job of Laney or our student and kids’ ministry volunteers to raise your kids to follow Jesus. They may get 30–45 minutes a week with your children. But God has given you the role of training them up. We want to help—but this is your calling.

Training your children in the way they should go means teaching them in all areas of life—faith, friendships, character, how to treat others. And it’s not just telling them, it’s showing them. If you say, “Follow Jesus,” but they never see you following Him, they’ll see through it.

They need to see you pray. They need to see you open your Bible. They need to see how you love your spouse, how you speak to people, how you tell the truth, how you put others first. They also need to see you fail—and then repent, ask forgiveness, and change. Remember: More is caught than taught.

Discipline is also part of parenting.

Proverbs 29:15, 17

Proverbs 29:15

A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.

These verses remind us that discipline imparts wisdom, and that a child left undisciplined brings shame. Discipline your children out of love—not out of anger—because consequences teach wisdom. Just as God disciplines us because He loves us, we discipline because we love our children.

But discipline must be balanced with grace.

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not ex-as-per-ate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

That means we don’t provoke our kids, abuse our authority, or crush their spirit. Ways parents can ex-as-per-ate children include favoritism, harsh scolding, inconsistency, uncontrolled anger, refusing to admit wrong, attacking their identity, emotional distance, unrealistic pressure, nitpicking, constant comparison, and of course, abuse.

None of us are perfect parents. But God calls us to train, to guide, to discipline, and to show grace to our children.

Children, you also have a role.

Ephesians 6:1–3

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Kids—your parents aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. But they love you, and God has given them to you to guide you and they want see you become the men and women that God wants you to be. Honor them. Obey them. It’s not always easy, but it is right.

Wisdom for Marriage

Now let’s look at the closest human relationship we have: marriage.

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 12:4

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

So when looking for a spouse, character matters most. Paul warns us not to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6). Make sure your future spouse is first and foremost a follower of Jesus, and spiritually walking in the same direction as you.

Before marriage, couples should agree on the big things: money, kids, faith, and in-laws. These are the foundations that keep a marriage stable.

Once married, Proverbs also gives us wisdom to not just stay married, but to have a strong marriage.

• Build on love and faithfulness.

Proverbs 3:3–4

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

• Love and faithfulness should be the foundation you build your marriage on.

• Keep your marriage pure.

• Proverbs 5:15

Proverbs 5:15

Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.

• Proverbs 5 warns against adultery. God gave sex as a gift for marriage between one man and one woman for life, and anything outside His design distorts it. Keep your marriage pure.

• Handle conflict with gentleness.

Proverbs 15:1

• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

• If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to let your guard down and not put in the effort you should with your spouse. Too often, I end up stirring up anger instead of using my words to turn away wrath. Friend, in your marriage you’ve got to put in the work. In fact, we should work harder at our marriage than in any other relationship. Use your words to bring healing, not to win the argument. Because the truth is, if one of you “wins,” then both of you lose. Choose to forgive and let it go.

• Forgive quickly.

Proverbs 17:9

• Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

• This is a warning against bringing up past offenses. When we refuse to forgive our spouse, we end up dragging their mistakes back into the present and throwing them in their face. Forgive and let it go. You can’t change what happened—it’s already in the past. But you can choose how to respond now. Stop running. Stop pretending. Face reality, and then make the next best decision together. Choose to build something new and better with your spouse. Forgive, and move forward.

• Speak truth in love.

Proverbs 24:26

• An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

• Speak the truth in love to your spouse. Don’t ignore their sin or the ways they’ve hurt you. Be honest, but do it with gentleness, so that together you can build a home and a life that lasts.

• Build your life together on purpose.

Proverbs 24:27

• Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.

• This reminds us to put in the hard work, to build a life and home with intention.

It’s popular to think we need to “find our soulmate.” But the truth is, soulmates aren’t found. They’re forged—day by day, year after year—as a husband and wife build their marriage on Jesus, love, and faithfulness.

Conclusion

This is just scratching the surface of Proverbs’ wisdom for our relationships. But here’s the big takeaway: seek God’s wisdom in all your relationships—with strangers, neighbors, enemies, friends, family, and your spouse.

Friend, if you want your relationships to bring joy instead of regret, don’t just follow your feelings—seek God’s wisdom. Build on His truth, and your friendships, your family, and your marriage will become a source of strength and life.

God’s wisdom isn’t just for how we relate to others—it’s also for how we begin and build a relationship with Him. If you’ve never put your faith in Jesus, turning from your sins and being united with Him in baptism, then Scripture says you’re still separated from God, even His enemy in your mind because of sin. That’s the bad news. But here’s the good news: through the cross, by the blood of Jesus, God has made a way to reconcile you to Himself.

The most important relationship you need to make right today is the one with your Creator. And He’s already paid the price to bring you peace.

So the question is—will you come to Him today? Will you turn from your sins? Will you be united with Jesus in baptism? As Mr. Kyle was yesterday!