Life in Christ: Free / Colossians 3:21 / Andrew Sercombe

We are in a series going through the book of Colossians.

If you're visiting with us, perhaps for this week, if you've been dragged along by your kids or your parents or whatever your story is, it's great to have you just to kind of orientate you into where we are right now.

We are coming to the back end of a series, walking through a letter that Paul wrote to the church in Colossae, an ancient church, not a church that he planted.

It was planted by a guy called Epaphras who befriended Paul and spoke to Paul about all the good things that were happening in the church there in Colossae.

And so Paul, with his heart filled with joy and with love, writes this letter to the church in Colossians and encourages them and speaks life into them and reminds them of their invitation and call as followers of Jesus.

And he articulates to the church what it means to live in Christ, what it means to be a follower of Jesus.

And as we've looked at over the past weeks, we've looked at the ways in which we are called to live, and as we call to live in Christ, there are things that we give over.

There are things that we give up, there are things that we hand over as we make Jesus king of our life.

But what we give up is far outweighed by what we get.

And as over the past few weeks, we've been looking at, as Paul writes to the church, he says, as you make Jesus King of your life, as you surrender to him, you get freedom, you get life.

And last week Sally told us, uh, as she shared, we get peace.

There's a peace that we get in our hearts.

There's a peace that comes when we make Jesus King of our life.

But it doesn't just stay in here.

When we live in Christ, it spills out.

It spills out in very practical ways into our relationships.

Our relationships in our society, in our workplaces, the relationships that we have in our home with our spouse and with our kids.

And this morning I'm going to pick up just one short verse that we read in Colossians chapter 3.

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

As Paul is writing and he's he's saying, Listen, when you follow Christ, you get peace in your home.

He he says this one verse and speaks specifically to fathers.

He says these words in Colossians chapter 3, verse 21.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Other translations put it this way: do not exasperate your children, don't aggravate or provoke your children to anger, don't drive them to resentment, don't frustrate your children, that ultimately leads to discouragement.

Paul recognizes that there is something powerful about the role of fathers in children's lives, and he says, you have the power to frustrate, to exasperate, and to discourage them.

Fathers, let me say to you, and as I say to myself, you we have the power to encourage or discourage, we have the power to empower or exasperate, we have the power to frustrate our children.

The voice of fathers has power.

The presence of fathers has power.

Our actions have power.

And uh we see this in different ways.

I can only speak for myself, but I know that I have the power to frustrate my children.

I have the power to exasperate my children, and I do it far too often.

Now, if there is one circumstance that that makes me exasperated and frustrated, that ultimately causes me to get frustrated with my children and with Megan, it's with camping.

Anyone been camping before?

Come on, just stick your hand up.

Any any camping families?

Listen, we are a camping family.

And um and we have we have walked through the trials and the tribulations.

Or my family has endured the trials and the tribulations of my frustration when it cut.

We saw it, we saw, I actually thought the dads this morning were incredibly patient, weren't they?

They just, they just they just far they should be up here preaching and not me.

Our camping story started soon after we got married.

We were living in England, and we just had Olivia, and uh we were we camping is a cheap way to go on holiday, and we realized we needed it, so we went and we bought a tent when Olivia was a baby.

We went camping in England, which is not the easiest place to camp.

And and so our journey began uh of living in a small tent with one child and camping in the early days.

I was talking to Josh and Sarah before, uh some of our young adults who love going camping.

You know, oh yes, we go, we we love going hiking and we take our small tents, and we're just there's so much room, and it's we're so much fun.

Why do you have kids?

I mean, I mean it's easy, isn't it?

When you start out, you just you just need the the sleeping bag and you roll out mattress, and that you know, it's pretty simple.

You just take your food, but then the kids begin to grow, and the tent begins to grow, and you need more gazebos and you need more stuff, and all of a sudden, it's not just the camp chairs that you need for every child, but it's the sporting equipment that you need.

There's the footballs, and then there's the cricket bats.

I found this once, just one rollerblade.

We went camping and our kids decided that they needed to bring rollerblades, but by the time it came to pack up, there was only one of them.

I don't know where the other one was, just scattered somewhere in the campsite.

And then then you got we get serious, right?

So so as as things grow, guys, we we need certain things.

Great hack.

Can I just say a blower is is an incredible gift when it comes to camping.

At least three times a day.

I just love blowing those leaves and that mud away.

So good.

And then and then there's and then there's the box of stuff.

Guys, do we have this box that has cable ties, it has gaff tape, it has extra cords, and it has a whole bunch of stuff that you don't even know how it got in there, and you still carrying carrying it around.

Listen, that's that's all manageable, but but as you can tell, as you can see, the pack up process, the setup process, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

It gets more and more stressful.

And now we've got kids running around and they're not being helpful.

And you know, if you've ever been to a campsite, you know when it comes to pack up time, the pressure of getting out by 10 o'clock.

It's real.

The frustration grows because you've enjoyed having a lie-in.

And because we've moved from camping to glamping, you need to enjoy a few things before you start packing up.

Like the coffee machine.

We have got the jolly coffee machine and the air fryer, Megan.

She needs the air fryer.

And then if that's not enough, we have got a jolly fridge that doesn't even want to go out.

And half past ten, I am done.

The kids have scattered, they've gone because I am so frustrated, I'm looking at the time, I'm trying to clean everything up, I'm trying to get everything into now the box trailer that we have to take all of our junk, that it just becomes stressful.

You know what camping's done?

It's provided a great opportunity on the drive home for reconciliation.

I feel like what I can do in those moments is model that simple word, which is I'm sorry.

Can anybody else relate to me, or is it just me when it comes to camping?

There was a breaking moment a number of years ago.

When we got to the campsite that we go to every summer with our family.

And we looked at the site, we were given a different site, and it had a bit of a dip to it.

And Megan said, Andrew, this looks like a little bit of a flood zone.

I don't think we should camp here.

I said, I've looked at the weather app, it's not going to rain for the next two weeks.

Three evenings later, we wake up and there is water.

We're starting to float.

Now, our camping site, we had three gazebos, two tents, we had all of this stuff and more everywhere.

And I was Megan was done.

I was done.

We had to move the whole camp again.

We drove home, I drove home frustrated, saying, We will never, ever do this again.

And so we sold her a house and bought a caravan.

That's how bad it got.

I'm so aware that what goes on in me, the storm and the frustration, easily spills out and speaks words over our family and our kids.

And Paul understands this as he writes to the church.

As he says, particularly to fathers, you have the power to embitter or to encourage.

And this word embitter that Paul uses it means to irritate or arouse feelings such as anger, hurt, shame, and fear to the point of exasperation.

One commentary says it invokes this image of an overbearing disciplinarian who constantly corrects and rebukes a child for every little mistake or perceived wrong.

And I know at times I can do that.

We can do that.

We can discourage our kids.

We can discourage the next generation.

And we we live and we see that the next generation is discouraged.

Without us even having to speak any words, we are living in a generation that is becoming more and more discouraged.

Research is showing us that young people today are the first in modern times to wild widely feel that their standard of living and future will be worse than their parents.

The next generation is not looking with the same optimism.

And there are a whole bunch of reasons for that.

Economic conditions, climate concerns, living in a digital age, with the mental impacts of social media and the looming reality of artificial intelligence.

All of these feed in to an emerging generation as they are growing up but looking down.

There is a loss of optimism.

And in a space of discouragement, there is an openness for any voices.

And we see that today that there are voices being propagated on social media in echo chambers.

More and more young people are consulting AI bots to get wisdom and advice.

And it's in this vacuum, it's in this space that the words of fathers, the words of men, are important.

Now, Paul does single out fathers here, but I just want to gather us all in.

Yes, I will be speaking to men this morning, but this is for all of us.

The principles that I'm talking about today are for us all.

And so we all have things to learn.

Paul says, fathers, you have the power to discourage, but on the flip side, then we must also understand that fathers have the power to encourage.

Fathers have the power to breathe courage into the next generation.

Our kids, the next generation needs to know that they are loved and that they have value.

There is so much power, there is so much encouraging power in the simple words, I love you.

The words I love you breathe life, they breathe power, they breathe courage into hearts, minds, and lives.

We all need to hear those words, I love you.

And God the Father models this.

And the words that are spoken over him.

We see in Matthew chapter 3 where Jesus comes out of the waters of baptism, and in that moment a voice comes from heaven and says, This is my son whom I love, with whom I am well pleased.

Matthew 3 · chapter mention

Had Jesus done anything?

Had he started public ministry?

Had he preached that first Kraken message?

Had he turned water into wine?

No.

Before Jesus had done anything of ministry significance, the Father says to the Son, I love you.

I am pleased.

It's not earned, it comes from the heart of God.

It's modeled.

And then we read later on in Matthew chapter 17, verse 5, it's a moment of what they call the transfiguration.

Matthew 17:5

James, Peter, and John are with Jesus, and a cloud comes over them, and Jesus is turned into blazing white, and a voice comes from heaven again.

God the Father saying, This is my son whom I love, with him I am well pleased.

Listen to him.

God the Father speaks over the Son.

Words of love.

Words of affirmation.

Why is this important?

Because as John says, perfect love casts out what?

Fear.

If we are to breathe courage into the next generation, it starts with love.

It starts by speaking love and value.

And we see this as we look at uh around our world, as we look at research and what people are saying outside the church, they're agreeing that there is something about the voice of love, the voice of particularly the father that brings courage, that brings life.

Sarah Scope Sullivan and Jay Fagan are professors in the States who recently wrote a book called The Evolution of Fathering Research in the 21st Century.

And here's a couple of things that they say.

Fathers help children explore by encouraging them to take risks, challenging them, and setting appropriate limits to stay safe.

Fathers play a particularly important role in the development of children's openness to the outside world and their autonomy.

Men seem to have a tendency to surprise children, to destabilize them momentarily, and to encourage them to take risks, thus enabling children to learn to be brave in unfamiliar situations and to stand up for themselves.

Children seem to be stimulated and motivated as much as they need to be calmed and secured, and they receive such stimulation primarily from men.

The Australian Institute for Family Services, a government organization, said this recently, one of their reports children with highly involved fathers experience positive outcomes in socio-emotional, behavioral, and cognitive educational domains.

Now I I realize that as I'm speaking about this, we experience all these words in different ways.

Depending on our own circumstances, but depending on our own experiences.

And so I want to speak to our hearts for just a moment.

I want to speak to single parents and particularly single mums just for a moment.

I realize that hearing this might cause pain for you, a sense of frustration and loss.

I want to say to you, thank you.

You have such an important and a hard job, and I do believe that God can and will give you what you need to fill in the gaps.

But here's what I'd also say this is where we as a church family are invited to play our part.

May we be a church where fathers and men play their role in investing in the next generation, whether they are their own children or the beautiful children who are part of our church family and our broader community.

I want to speak to men who are not fathers, whether that's a life circumstance or for whatever reason.

I want to say to you that this community and our community needs you.

You carry the role and the heart of a man, and you can carry the role and the heart of a father no matter your circumstance.

John Tyson in his book, The Intentional Father, says a man is an image bearer and son of God entrusted with power and responsibility to create, cultivate, care, and defend for God's glory and for the good of others.

No matter your station, men, you're invited to be an image bearer of God and to be a father.

And thirdly, I want to say to many of us who may have had negative experiences of our own father, whatever that may be, whatever that may look like.

I understand that often our own experiences can influence our view of fathers generally, and certainly influence and impact our view of God.

And whilst I don't have all the answers, or I can't provide the self for every wound, what I would say is that in Christ we get an image and a picture of who God is, and his love and his heart for you, and his desire to bring healing, hope, and restoration.

I find it amazing that we are invited to look to Jesus, and as we look to Jesus, we look at his character, we look at his nature, we look at who he is, and we see the character of God the Father.

I know it's confusing, and I know it's hard to fully understand how all of that works, but Jesus himself gives us a vision of what the true Father is.

And he says it.

In a conversation we read in John chapter 14, and the context is Thomas has come up to Jesus and said, Jesus, how do we know where we're going?

John 14 · chapter mention

As Thomas often did, because he was he wanted to know where to go and he was the doubter.

And Jesus said, Well, you need to follow me.

I'm the way, I'm the truth, I'm the life.

And then Philip, who we don't hear of too much, pipes up and he says, Lord, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.

So remember, a Jewish mindset.

Philip had grown up reading the Torah, reading the prophets, understanding the law, getting a vision for who God is.

He had a Picturing in his mind who the Father is.

And he says to Jesus, if you just show us who the Father is, tell us who the Father is, and uh and and that'll be good for us, coming with their pre-conceptions and what Jesus does and what Jesus says is profound.

He says, Don't you know me, Philip?

Even after I've been among you such a long time, anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.

How can you say, show us the Father?

Don't you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?

The words I say to you, I do not speak on my own authority, rather, it is the Father living in me who is doing his work.

Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves.

Jesus is saying, if you want to understand the nature and the character and the heart of God, then look at him.

Because he reveals something of the Father.

The Father is in him and he is in the Father.

If we want to get a vision of who God is, God the Father, then we look at the character traits of Jesus.

And what a gift for us that God reveals his character to us not by being distant or far off, but God chooses to reveal his heart for us by stepping down from heaven to earth.

And revealing his character through presence.

John says earlier on, this well-known verse, John chapter 1, the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.

John 1 · chapter mention

We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

I love this picture that the word, that is, Jesus, became flesh and made his dwelling among us.

God chose to send his son to reveal himself amongst us.

That word made his dwelling is harking back to the Exodus account.

God tabernacled himself amongst us.

It's a picture of God coming and pitching his tent amongst us.

You go back to the Exodus and the people of Israel as they're walking through the wilderness, they are on a massive camping.

Can you imagine the frustration?

Forty years living in a tent.

I don't know how marriage has made it, I'm going to be honest with you.

Forty years of packing up and setting down, and they didn't even have a fridge.

This was the picture.

They're on a massive camping trip to the Promised Land.

Took 40 years.

And God, by His grace, said, Make a tent for me.

Build me a tent in your campsite.

We'll call it a tabernacle.

It'll be the tent of meeting.

And it'll be the place where Moses can come and meet with God in this tent.

And it's in this language, this motif, this understanding that Paul writes, and God tabernacled himself amongst us in the flesh.

God comes and camps amongst us.

He sets up a tent amongst us.

And he lives a life.

He gathers around him twelve disciples.

Jesus was never, never became a father.

But he had twelve disciples and he walked with them.

He invested into them.

He loved them.

He disciplined them.

He revealed grace and truth.

They stumbled and fell and he picked them up.

He gave them great opportunities to try things.

He modeled for them a way to live.

He apprenticed them, he apprenticed them.

He discipled them.

And then ultimately, as you know the story, he went to the cross and he died for you and for me.

He sacrificed himself.

He revealed the love of God in his death and his resurrection.

And in the same way, men, fathers, we're called to live with that kind of love.

We're called to live with that sacrificial love.

And we need, we need this generation to get a vision, that vision of love, that vision of God, that vision of who God is, we need to get that in our hearts in order that we can envision and empower the next generation.

We need a vision for the next generation.

And it starts with getting a vision for our own lives.

I'm speaking to fathers and men, but I'm speaking to us all.

And this is why we've been doing this journey.

It's why we've been walking through Colossians and we've been looking at what it means to live in Christ.

As we find a life in Christ, we learn how to live.

It requires surrender, it requires sacrifice, it requires letting go, it requires making Jesus King of our life.

But as we do, we are transformed and changed.

We are set free.

We find new life.

We are filled with a new sense of peace.

We can walk in an on with a non-anxious presence in an anxious world.

We can live in a new way under Christ.

Sally said it last week when she was talking about parenting, and I would say it again.

There are so many techniques, there are so many tips and tricks for parenting and raising the next generation, and some of it, a bunch of it is amazing.

It's good stuff.

But at the end of the day, character trumps technique.

It will always trump technique.

Who we are and what we are becoming is so important because it creates a vision, it creates a space for the next generation to walk into.

And as he writes to the church in Corinth, he says these words, he says, I'm writing this not to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children.

Even if you had 10,000 guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.

Therefore, I urge you, imitate me.

That's an invitation and a challenge.

Therefore, I urge you, imitate me.

I read that and I go, how am I going?

Can I with confidence and courage, like Paul say to my own children and to those around me, imitate me.

Yeah, that's a high call.

But as Paul understands, the work is because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It's the gospel of Jesus Christ that has worked in him, which enables him to say, imitate me.

We need to get a vision for our own lives, a vision for walking in Christ, a vision for being transformed and changed into his image day by day.

We need to get a vision that shapes us and molds us to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit day by day and allow his spirit and the goodness of the gospel to do work in us, to shape and form us and to change us in order that we may shine light to the next generation.

Because as we do, we will get a vision and a hunger and a love, just like Paul for the next generation.

Paul's writing saying, I love you.

You are my dear children, I am your father, and I want to see you raised up in the knowledge and the life and the freedom of Jesus Christ.

And in an anxious world, in a challenging world, what a delight and joy and an opportunity we have to create vision and space for the next generation.

This generation is desperate as every generation has gone before, is desperate for vision.

Proverbs 29, verse 18 says, and this is the King James Version, says, without vision, the people perish.

Proverbs 29:18

The NIV version says, where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint.

For the generations coming up, they need to be able to see, they need a revelation.

Revelation literally means an unveiling, an ability to be able to see.

If they can't see, there's no restraint.

There's no guideline.

There's no direction.

And in a world and an age which says choose your own adventure, in an age and a world that removes guides, I believe that we can create the right space, the right guides, the right life, the right encouragement that enables the next generation not to be embittered, not to be frustrated, but to grow up with life and peace and hope.

Can I hear an amen?

How does this happen?

Well, it happens through presence.

It happens through presence just as God has come down and tabernacled and camped amongst us, so too.

We need to be present.

And that's the invitation for us today.

No matter where you're at and what your position is, and if I speak to men and speak to fathers, no matter what your story is, your presence matters.

We live in an age where social media is telling young women that their identity is found in their beauty.

We live in a world where social media is telling men how they should treat women.

And there are plenty of other voices wanting to shape the next generation.

Social media, school friends, advertising companies.

The list goes on.

There are so many voices.

But we need to be a voice.

A voice that creates vision, a voice that proclaims and speaks and points to the person and the work of Jesus Christ.

Because life in Christ is the best kind of life.

And that is the gift and the call that we are all invited into.

Men and women.

But in the midst of all of where you're at in your life and whatever's going on for you, what I do know is that God wants to speak to you.

He wants to reveal his goodness and his grace to you.

He wants to reveal his presence to you.

Why?

Because when he reveals his presence to us, we encounter the heart of the Father.

When we encounter his presence, we hear his love.

We hear his words.

Romans chapter 8.

Romans 8 · chapter mention

I just wonder whether, just as I read this over, you I just wonder whether across this room we can just close our eyes, maybe just remove distraction.

Because this is an invitation for us before we think about or pray for the next generation.

There is something that God, I believe, wants to do in our hearts.

Just across this room.

I need a revelation today from you.

I need to hear from you.

I want the eyes of my heart to see you afresh and anew.

So that you live in fear again.

So that you live in frustration.

So that you live embittered or discouraged but frustrated.

Rather, the spirit you receive brought about your adoption to sonship.

And by we cry, by him we cry Abba Father.

The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we, that you are his child.

That changes everything.

Just across this room, I reckon there's a stack of people who just need to hear maybe for the first time or hear afresh that you are loved and that you are his child.

And receive his words.

Oh God, where there is pain, there is disappointment.

Where there is history, Lord, I ask that by your goodness and your grace you will wash it away.

Maybe just invite you just to say, God, I want to experience you.

If you can pray that all God, I'm not sure if you're real or I know you, but I'm asking that I would experience you in some way.

God loves us.

That's his heart.

It's the father heart of God.

What a gift.

What a gift in this moment to hear the voice of God.

Just continue to wait on God.

We need just to sing quietly as we lift our voices, but I just encourage you to continue to allow God to minister to you.

Allow his voice, the voice of the Father, to break, to heal, to nourish, to encourage.