Gentleness

Here we go.

You ready?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

All right.

Here we go.

Galatians 5.22.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance.

Such.

Hey, against such, there is nothing I call it to compare with.

And one of my favorite uh parts about that verse is, and I really, really do love this part of it, when he says, watch.

Long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.

Against such there is no law.

The way I interpret that last phrase is there is nothing that you can compare with, with the joy, the happiness, the sincerity, and the living of life than to be filled with the Spirit of God, walking in the Spirit of God.

And when we are, these characteristics are very evident in our lives.

And he leaves these last three that we've looked at.

Last week I had more response on that message on faithfulness.

If you did not, if you were not here or you haven't heard it, would you please go?

I'm telling you, God gave me that message.

And it's just, I just really have relived all those principles that God gave us last week on faithfulness.

Because God wants us to be faithful.

When we see people coming back to church, I know you've been waiting.

You couldn't wait to get back because there's a part of us missing when we don't come together as our church family and our church body because we want to be faithful.

We want to be like David when he said, I was glad.

When they said, Let us go into the house of the Lord in Psalms 122, 1.

But I believe he left these last three characteristics right there.

Faithfulness that I preached on last week.

Then meekness, which we're going to be looking at today.

Gentleness, meekness and gentleness go together.

The Lord, every time he used meekness, he talked about gentleness.

Every time he talked about gentleness, he talked about meekness.

Blessed are the meek.

Why?

But they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are the gentle, because they shall inherit the earth.

And the reason I think these three are like the last three are in order, is because when we get to faithfulness, meekness, gentleness, and temperance, which is self-control, those are the true evidences, and listen, of you and me walking in the spirit.

I really believe that.

When you see faithfulness, when you see uh gentleness and meekness, and when you see self-control, you know that you're around a spirit-filled Christian.

And ladies and gentlemen, when you are spirit-filled, as I said on that last phrase, there's nothing to compare with.

Nothing.

So today, by the way, does everybody have an outline?

Everybody have an outline?

Anybody does not have an outline?

Okay, we've got one right here.

Pam.

Pam needs one.

All right, there we go.

We're out.

Oh, well, that's a good thing.

Now let's give the Lord just for the crowd this morning.

Amen.

Come on back.

And you that are watching, come on back.

Come on back.

It's safe.

I promise.

Benji and Surpro do a fantastic job every week.

They literally bombed this place.

And I like that.

Somebody said, what do you mean by bomb?

Yep, that's right with the funeral.

After the funeral.

I mean, we we we kill every germ we in here.

So it really is amazing.

But thank SurPro.

Can we give SurPro a hand?

Amen.

Yeah.

And they bombed the children's area too and all that.

So everything's been bombed.

So you're safe.

I promise.

I promise.

But with that said, with the help of the grace of God this morning, I want to teach us how we can be gentle.

Now I don't know about you, but I really believe that gentleness is one of the hardest characteristics in this fruit of the spirit for me.

Anybody else like that?

There's four or five of us.

And some of the wives are doing this.

So, husbands, go ahead and raise your hand.

But it really is.

It really is.

And my temperament doesn't help me being a choleric.

A cleric's one of those kind of take charge guys, move, charge.

So gentle, when you say gentle, watch gentle, you know?

But thank God my wife is gentle.

Now, the more she's lived with me, the tougher she's gotten.

Because I'm joking.

Don't dig a hole.

Don't you say anything, I will.

You dug a big one the other day.

So but anyway, but when we talk about gentleness and meekness, I read of that Jesus said, the meek shall inherit the earth in Matthew 5.5.

And he talked about gentleness and meekness together.

In fact, listen to what the Bible says.

You wouldn't believe this.

And this gives me hope.

One of the characters that's in the Old Testament named Moses.

We all know Moses.

And it's not Charlton Heston.

But we all know Moses.

Do you know what God's word said about Moses?

I mean, we're talking about the grumbling Moses.

The Moses that grumbled because all those two million plus people were grumbling about his leadership.

We're talking about the Moses that really got upset with God.

And what he's striking the rock.

I meant, here's a guy that outwardly, and you read some of the portions of scripture about him, and you would be thinking he's not gentle.

But listen to what God said about Moses in Numbers chapter 12, verse 3.

Numbers 12:3

Listen to what he said.

He was more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.

Now let's look at Moses for a moment.

When the Bible says that he was meek or gentle, you've got to realize it didn't mean in your notes that Moses was perfect.

So in your notes, meekness is not perfection.

Meekness is not perfection.

But a lot of times we tend to relate gentleness to and meekness to perfection.

But it is an indication of maturity.

Okay?

Really.

It really is.

In fact, I think it's one of the key indicators of maturity.

That you're able to be gentle and self-control, that we're going to end the series next week with.

But remember again, Moses didn't like it when he had to go to Egypt to deliver the people.

Remember, he argued with God.

I'm not capable.

I have a stutter.

Well, I not that he had a stuttering problem, but he says, I just can't speak eloquently.

I mean, he gave him several.

I think there's five or six excuses there in Genesis, and I've got a message on that.

Excuses to excellence.

But he came up with several excuses, but but it didn't work.

Because when you get to verses six through eight, and in this chapter in Numbers, Aaron and Miriam, Aaron's brother, remember they come against Moses' leadership.

I love this.

What a great example of gentleness.

And when I saw this and been studying it all week, I said, my goodness, that's what we need in America today.

I mean, they could not.

You know why?

You know why Miriam?

Miriam was kind of leading the disagreements and the undermining of Moses.

And you know why?

She had a problem with the lady that Moses had married.

She didn't like her at all.

She thought it was the wrong choice.

She thought the choice would hurt the whole nation.

So she just set out to undermine Moses.

Now, you've got to realize Moses was a powerful man.

He had been given the power by God because watch what God says in that context about Moses in Numbers 12, verses 6 and 8.

Numbers 12:6

The Lord addresses, and he's talking to Aaron and Miriam, and listen to what he says.

And he gives them what I call a few well-chosen words.

Notice what he says to them.

When a prophet of the Lord is among you, I reveal myself to him in visions.

I speak to him in dreams.

But this is not true of my servant Moses.

In other words, he says, normally I speak to him in dreams and in visions, but not with Moses.

Moses was such a choice servant, he says, but he says, but this is not true of my servant Moses.

He is faithful.

There's that faithful that we talked about last week.

And all of my house, with him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles.

He sees the form of the Lord.

Wow.

He says, Moses is a special chosen man of God by me to deliver his people.

And now you're coming against him.

And then basically, then when God addresses Miriam and Aaron, he says, Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moab?

Why are you coming against Moses?

Why don't you understand that I chose him?

Now, with all that said, here's the exciting thing.

Here's the most powerful man right now, with God's authority, God's power, God's commission.

And they come against him, and Moses could have taken them out.

But you know what?

You know what Moses does?

He responds with love, gentleness.

Even though they're coming against him, trying to undermine him, trying to take over his leadership.

And he loves them.

And he says, no, no.

God, I it's okay.

God, I know you're in control.

Wow, what an example of gentleness.

What a tremendous example.

In fact, and I always like to watch a person that's been given power to see how they respond.

Because when a person's put in a powerful leadership position, he can use that power to abuse people, or he can use that power to build people up and make them better.

In leadership.

Part of my doctorate was in leadership.

I learned early from a man of character like Dr.

Jerry Falwell.

Dr.

Falwell was always trying to build us that was under him.

I call it his colonels or whoever.

I was over the seminary and flew around the world with him all the time.

But he's always trying to make me better.

Trying to help me be better.

That's what a leader does that's got power.

He brings the people that are around him and he makes them better.

He brings resources to them so that they can be the best that they can be.

Now that's true, gentle leadership.

And that's what we saw in Moses.

Powerful, powerful.

Nowhere probably do we see a better example, though, of gentleness now.

Watch this than in Matthew 21, verse 5.

Matthew 21:5

And we see here the triumphant entry of Jesus.

And notice what it says about him.

Say to the daughter of Zion, see your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a coal, the foal of a donkey.

But he's gentle.

Jesus certainly didn't come into Jerusalem trying to impress people.

He didn't come into Jerusalem saying, look at me.

I'm God's son.

Don't mess with me.

I'll take you out.

No.

He came in gentle.

He came in humble.

And he came in knowing that God the Father, his father was in control.

Let me tell you what I'm learning about gentlemen.

When you really believe that God is totally in control of your life, you can have that peace.

You can have that gentleness.

You can have that meekness.

Because you know he's in control.

You know that.

Amen?

So that's very important that we understand that.

And here's the thing, and then we're gonna fill out the outline.

But this is part of the introduction.

Two things.

I'm talking to me now.

There are two steps or ingredients to becoming, I think, biblically a meek and gentle person.

Here, the first one is this.

I know that's not in your notes because God gave me this after I'd already done the outline.

But here, find a little place on your outline to write this.

Here it is.

Two things that that works in my life to make me a gentle, meek person.

Number one, it's the grace of God.

Can I get an amen?

It's only by the grace of God.

Remember Paul?

Paul had to be worked on for gentleness.

Here's a man that killed Christians.

He is a Hebrew of Hebrews.

But after he got saved on the road to Damascus, unbelievable experience, and he's having problems.

And I'm sure part of that was with being gentle, because I mean you read a lot of his epistles.

He was a fighter.

Well, I'm not saying he was a fighter.

That movie that Susan just watched about Paul, she said that had him in there wrestling, but he talks about your punches being certain and sure, not just throwing in the wind.

He talks about press toward the marble.

I meant he was a he was no doubt a choleric.

Part of his personality had to be choleric.

So we know, I think, gentleness may have been a problem for Paul.

And I love it in 2 Corinthians 12 when God says to Paul, Paul, my grace is sufficient for you.

My strength's made perfect in your weakness, Paul.

So you have to depend on me to be gentle.

You have to depend on me to be meek.

And by the way, Paul, I got everything in control.

So you don't have to worry.

So what a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful example.

Then the second choice, the second thing is you and I have to make a conscious decision to be meek and gentle.

We have to.

It is a conscious decision when the person who has the power or position or privilege chooses to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and allow himself or herself to be God controlled.

It is.

Now watch.

Nevertheless, I live, not me.

But Christ lives in me.

And the life which I now live, I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

In other words, I am a living testimony of Jesus Christ.

Holy Spirit living through me exemplifies the characteristics of Christ.

Have you ever really thought about that?

Wow.

Lost people that don't believe in Christ, when they see a Christian, do you realize you're supposed to be exemplifying Christ-likeness?

Who Christ is?

We are to be, hey, exemplifying these characteristics in our life, especially faithfulness and gentleness and meekness and self-control.

Wow.

How well are we doing that every week?

First of all, how well do we do that with our mates?

Starts at home.

Amen.

Remember, faithfulness starts at home.

So I came up with an acrostic.

You knew I love across this.

How can you and I make a conscious decision to be gentle?

P-O-W-E-R.

Simple.

You got it written down, but you'll remember this.

We've got to allow the Holy Spirit to control us.

Amen?

So if we've got to allow the Holy Spirit to control us, there's some areas then that we have to make a conscious decision to allow Him to control us, right?

Amen.

Come on, church.

All right, with that letter P.

Personality.

Personality.

But before you put, well, go ahead and put personality in for P, but gentleness in your notes.

I know somebody looked, I'm sure Susan said, oh, you missed the bar.

You missed the first blank.

Gentleness is power under control.

Say that with me, church.

Gentleness is power under control.

Is that not good?

Gentleness is power under control.

And with that said, let's look at the word power.

First of all, our personality has to be under control.

We have to allow God to control our personality.

A gentle person takes the personality that God has given them, unique as it is, and we all have a unique personality.

We all do.

We're fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalms 139, 14.

In fact, let me tell you, I saw this this week and I thought to myself, we need to have every person that's for abortion just to read Psalms 139, verse 13 and 14, and listen to what that says.

Psalms 139:13

You were formed, hey, God formed you and me, hey, in the inward parts.

God formed that embryo.

God formed it.

And then look at verse 14.

You knitted me together in my mother's womb.

Hello.

Enough said.

Can I get an amen, church?

Enough said.

Yes, enough said.

A portion is murder.

And I'm not going to waver on that.

Never.

So you are you were fitted and put together in your mother's womb.

And then he goes on and he says, Marvelous are his works.

You're special.

Say that with me.

I'm special.

Come on.

You're special.

Every one of us.

God created you just, and then people go, well, why did why why?

I don't understand why different people, and sometimes there's handicapped, but I do know this.

God had a purpose, and God's going to use every situation for his glory and his honor.

And every creation, every child that's living and breathing is special to God.

Special.

Special.

Amen.

Amen.

Remember?

I was singing about this.

Jesus, his three closest friends, Peter, James, and John.

That's a great illustration.

Jesus is about to get ready to be taken up, to be raptured, to go out of here, go back to the right hand of God the Father.

But he's got to go to Jerusalem.

So he tells James and John to go and find in Samaria a place for them to stay.

And if you remember at that time Jesus is not popular, they go in.

And all of a sudden the people reject them and no, Jesus is not coming here.

In other words, Jesus was not going to get to spend the night in the Samaritan Hilton.

You know what James and John said?

Do you know what?

They got so mad.

You know what they came back and told Jesus?

Oh, this is unreal.

It really is.

They came back.

And in Luke 9, 51 through 55 is where this is.

He says, they say, let's call fire down from heaven.

And that's a gentle spirit, isn't it?

Now we're talking about the inner circle.

Let's call fire down from heaven.

Now I'm on a minute.

I've thought that before.

Lord, give Take them out.

Because I know you can.

You've done it before.

Is that gentleness?

Nobody's saying anything.

Y'all scared?

Is that gentleness?

No.

That's far from gentleness.

Oh.

I'm so meek.

Just kill him.

That's not too me.

Well, I might have said it, gentle, but I didn't mean it, gentle.

Y'all know.

Y'all, you know why you're quiet, you're guilty.

And then remember, let me tell you another time about Peter.

Well, about James and John.

Remember his mother?

What did mother say?

Oh, now this is gentle and thinking about other people more than yourself.

Jesus.

Hey, when you come into the kingdom, remember James.

Can he sit at the left hand?

John, can he sit at the right hand?

That's self-serving.

That's prideful.

That wasn't gentle.

That wasn't meek.

So what I'm saying, folks, you got Moses, you got the inner circle, and if they're having problems with gentleness, we have problems with gentleness.

Can I get an amen?

I mean, it's all through the word.

But our personality has to be controlled by God.

Philippians 4, 5, that's right there.

Let your gentleness be known to all men.

The Lord is at hand.

You know what he just said when he means the Lord is at hand?

When you and I express gentleness and meekness, hey, and self-control that we'll be looking at in the last characteristic next week.

We are showing what real Jesus Christianity is.

That's what it means.

Well, I need help.

And we know about Peter.

Oh, Peter was.

Oh Lord, I know all my buddies here, they're gonna forsake you, but not me.

I'm right here.

Nobody's gonna make me walk away.

I'm tough.

I'm the leader to this bunch.

I'm with you, Jesus.

Is that what Jesus said?

Before the cock crows.

Tomorrow you're gonna deny me three times.

Hello.

That was a real gentle spirit, wasn't it?

No.

So our personality is to be gentle.

I really the older I get, I thought I'm getting gentle.

But every once, is that a word?

Gentler?

More gentle.

Thank you.

I knew that didn't sound right.

It's bad when you got super, I mean, sumaculate sitting on the front row.

But now watch.

Watch this.

This is so good.

The older we get, the more mature we should be getting in the Lord.

Right?

So the older we get, the more gentle, the more meek we should be.

So here's what I'm trying to say.

It's a great indicator.

If you're not gentle, you're not walking in the spirit.

Now can we all say oh me together?

Oh me.

That hurts.

That hurts.

But it's true.

Number two, second word, a letter.

Oh, outlook.

Our outlook has to be under God's control.

The results, we start working for the benefit of others, not just ourselves.

We work for the benefit of others, not ourselves.

Look at Philippians 2.4.

Look, not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others or the interests in others.

And what they're doing, not just what you're doing.

Your attitude should be the same as Jesus' attitude.

Romans 15.1 says, We who are strong ought to bear up the weak and not please ourselves.

Verse 2, but help others and build them up in the Lord.

We ought to be concerned about others.

So how do we do that?

Look in your notes.

Gentle people are understanding.

Gentle people are understanding.

I love that verse in Galatians 6.2.

Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

That's what God wants us to do.

He wants us to be understanding.

And then in 2 Peter 1.7, he says, godliness with brotherly affection and love for everyone.

That word affection, you need to do a word study on it.

It literally means if you have affection toward someone, that you want what's best for that person.

Wow.

And that's why the church body is so important when it says not forsaking your assemblies of yourselves together as manner some are, but exhorting one another so much more as you see today approaching.

That word exhorting means that we have affection toward each other.

And we want to exhort each other.

What that means is we want to help each other be all that God wants them to be.

We want to help each other when they're in need.

We want to help each other when they're uh needing help or comfort or coming around Deedra and David and those that have lost loved ones and encouraging them, being there, uh the food pantry, helping people when they need food.

I mean, we care about our people.

That's why covenant membership is so important.

I've had several people say, why do we do that?

Because we want you to know that you're not just coming to a church and putting your name on a row, you're becoming part of our family.

It's not that you, well, actually you are.

You're being birthed into our family through the power of the Holy Spirit of God.

Once you become a Christian, you need your body.

And you have individual bodies, even though we're one corporative body as Christians, that community body.

And that's good.

And then secondly, and by the way, verse 10 in Galatians 6 2 says, as you have opportunity, watch this, do good unto all men, especially to those of the household of faith.

That means our body, our community.

As you have opportunity.

Can I tell you something?

If you really, really are spirit-filled, if we are as a church, this church, we couldn't build big enough buildings.

If we really had affection toward our community.

What that means, if we had affection toward everybody that's in our community, in our neighborhoods, and we went out of our way to really try to help them and meet their needs and just to be a comfort to them, an encouragement to them.

Folks, people are dying for that today.

Especially in America today, when 50% we're we're at war against each other.

God help us.

We need this gentleness.

If ever there's been a time, it's now.

And then secondly, gentle people are not demanding.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Guilty?

Am I how many of us are demanding?

Raise your hand.

Okay.

That's about a oh.

Well, there's more demanding, I know, because I know.

We're demanding.

We want it our way, and we want it right now.

I got to thinking about that.

I want you to, hey, do you know what's wrong with America?

That's what's wrong with America.

Each group wants it their way right now.

And if you don't agree with them, you're wrong.

You're you're disgraced.

You're criticized.

You're abused.

Would you like to hear the scripture that validates that?

James 4, verses 1 and 2.

James 4:1

Listen to what it says.

Where do wars and fights come from?

Have we been seeing some fighting in the streets lately?

Terrible.

Where do wars and fights come from among you?

They come from the evil underlining it, evil desires at work within you.

Oh my goodness.

Then look at verse 2.

You want what you don't have, so you scheme and you kill to get it.

You are jealous.

You want what you want.

You scheme.

You know what's going on?

Why is this happening?

There's people with evil desires.

That's what's happening.

And then watch this.

Look at the other verse.

James 3.16.

Listen to what it says.

Wherever there is jealousy or selfish ambition, what is selfish ambition?

You want what you want because you think what you want's the best and what's right.

Hello?

You okay out there?

Is that not what we're seeing in America right now?

I promise you it is.

And by the way, I hadn't planned this.

I didn't know all this was going to happen.

You tell me God's not in charge.

This message at this time, right now.

I didn't just say, oh, look what's happening.

I pulled this message out.

I didn't, I don't do that.

I don't have to do that.

Because God's word knows what we need when we need it.

If the pastor's spirit filled, walking with the Lord, and God's giving him what he ought to preach, it's it's timely.

And you go on the, you hear to everybody right now, preachers and godly uh preachers and godly leaders, what are they saying?

We need unity.

We need, hey, we need calmness, we need gentleness, we need love, we need kindness.

What I thought to myself, you know what they need?

What I've been preaching for the last two and a half months, the fruit of the Spirit.

So here we see it.

We see it right here.

All right?

So, what do we do?

We have personalities under God's control, our outlooks under God's control, and we're looking to be a blessing.

We're not, hey, we're looking to understand people.

And I'm gonna end with that, so I don't want to dwell, it's gonna be a good conclusion.

And then we're not to be demanding.

I do think I've gotten better in that area.

Have I, honey?

Don't answer that question.

Well, maybe am I nicer in being demanding?

I have.

Okay.

Hey, trust me, she won't lie.

But think about that.

Demanding.

I think I've been kind of where's Paul?

Where's Paul?

What are you doing way back there?

You're supposed to be up here.

Hey, have I not been pretty good about not being demanding about that building that should have been up six months ago?

Y'all just don't know how I've had to ask God to hold me my power under control, gentleness under control.

My soul.

I mean, they're gonna have three churches built while we're just getting still up.

I shouldn't have said that.

Sorry, I apologize, Paul.

All right, here we go.

Now it's not Paul's fault.

Paul's been pushing too.

It's just, okay, next word.

All right.

What do we have under control?

I'm about to lose control, so let's get back to the message.

Personality on control.

And then the third thing, after our outlook's under control, our words need to be under control.

And that's what I did.

I had to get my words back under control right then.

You know, it is not the things.

You know what?

Have you ever made this statement?

It comes in one ear and goes out the other.

How many of us have made that statement?

I've said that when I hear me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

I just let it go in one ear and out the other.

Sister Fluffy Head Diggy Paddy, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just in there and out the other.

I don't.

But here's the problem.

You know what a problem is in America?

We're letting all this come in and it stays and it gets confused.

Instead of letting it out the other ear, we let it out our mouth.

Hello?

And let's look at what Scripture says about that.

In Ephesians 4, he says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that you may minister grace unto his tears.

In fact, what he's saying is, watch the way you talk.

Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth, say only what helps, because each word is a gift.

Wow.

If it's not good, if it's not building up, if it's not necessary, if it's not spoken graciously, don't say it.

Well, preacher, that would take up about 85% of my conversation.

Well, amen.

But is that not true?

Wait, wait, it even gets, what's this?

What's this?

In James 3, 6, 8.

Ready?

This is the tongue is a flame of fire.

It's full of wickedness and poison every pot, and it poisons every part of the body.

The tongue is set on fire by hell itself and can turn our whole lives into a blazing flame of destruction and disaster.

Is that not exactly what we've seen in these riots?

And then look at verse 8.

But no human being, uh-oh, can tame the tongue.

It's already ready to pour out its deadly poison.

Wow.

Let's accept it.

Folks, we can't control our tongues.

Only the power of the Holy Spirit of God can.

Amen?

And let me tell you, listen to this.

Proverbs 15.1.

Oh, this is beautiful.

I think it's in there.

If not, write down the reference.

You've got to memorize this first, Proverbs 51.

This will help you in your speech more than anything.

A soft answer turns away wrath.

That gentle answer, that meek answer.

But grievous words stir up anger.

Here it goes again.

Wow.

Proverbs 16, 27, listen to this.

An ungodly man's lips are burning fire.

Wow.

And then Jesus said, those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart.

And they defile the man.

Matthew 15, 8.

Wow.

Let her eat.

Our expectations have to be under God's control.

Proverbs 15, 4.

Gentle words are a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Why?

Ephesians 4, 2, be humble and gentle.

Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other's faults because of your love.

Can I get an amen for that?

Let me ask us a question.

When someone, first of all, is anyone ever disappointed you?

Huh?

I'm sure I have disappointed some of you.

I'm sure.

Because I'm human.

But I'm also sure I didn't mean to I meant purposely to disappoint you.

And if I have, don't don't bite me, don't criticize me.

Come talk to me about it.

So I can make it right.

Can I get an amen?

Because I d I I don't hurt people on purpose.

I never have.

But sometimes I speak before I think.

Boy, it's got quiet again.

Hey, I'm up here getting crucified, guys.

Come on.

But but but here's what I'm going to show you.

Here's what I want to show you.

This is so good so good.

Gentle words.

But when people disappoint you, and I've been disappointed by people.

Church people have disappointed me.

I'm just going to be honest with you.

I've been disappointed with me.

When I preached on that, I gotta take you back to that message last week, faithfulness.

I am so grieved by how unfaithful I've been in some things to the Lord over all my preaching career.

It's just broken my heart.

I'm not perfect, but that's not an excuse either.

Amen.

So when people disappoint you, we got one or two choices.

We can be gentle, or we can be judgmental.

One or two.

One or two.

And I have to admit, there's been a lot of times I'm judgmental.

And I'm sick of that.

Lord, please don't let me be that way.

Lord, please let me have the benefit of the doubt.

Can I get an amen?

Because we don't know.

When we're judgmental with that waiter or waitress when the food's cold, they didn't cook it.

Maybe, I mean, we don't know what's going on, but man, what's your first reaction?

Heh, I'm not coming back here again.

That's terrible food.

Oh my goodness, I'm guilty.

Hello.

I know I'm the only one.

Thank you very much.

Or something doesn't go you.

Is that bearing one another's burden?

The waitress is having a hard time.

She can't get all the what about saying, ma'am, I know you it looks like you're very busy, but it's over.

Is there any way I can help you?

Just encourage that.

You don't know how that would encourage them, even though they probably don't want your help or need you.

Well, they probably do need you help, but they're not going to allow to let you help them.

Gentle or judgmental?

I want to give you one of the greatest examples.

Elijah.

Remember Elijah?

1 Kings 18, Elijah had just had the greatest victory in his whole ministry as life.

He prayed down fire from heaven to consume the wood that was wet.

And then he literally saw the execution of 450 prophets of Baal.

And then you get to the next chapter.

Now I don't know about you.

It was unbelievable.

How would you like to see the fire?

Him praying, God send fire down, kill 450 Baal prophets.

I don't know about you.

I'd be saying hallelujah.

And he and then you get to the next chapter, and one woman named Jezebel says, I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna have your head by tomorrow.

And he takes off and runs.

He went from the greatest victory to the greatest depression all in 24 0.

Hello.

There's a good illustration here.

One, be very careful when you have a great victory.

Because Satan's not going to leave you alone.

He's going to come.

And then he usually comes with everything he's got, like he did with Elijah.

Now I know what.

And then God says, hey, you know what God told him?

He said, go to the cave.

Go to the cave.

He went to the cave.

First Kings 19, verse 4.

1 Kings 19:4

He goes, well, first of all, he gives God an excuse.

He says, Oh God, just why don't you just kill me?

I'm just like anybody else.

Have you think about it?

I'm just like anybody else.

In other words, what he was saying, I know God, you call me.

There's a special anointing.

I'm doing your work.

But now I failed you, God.

I'm depressed, God.

Oh, God.

So his way out, or his only little justification was instead of saying, if God be for us, who can be against us and bring it on?

Jezebel.

He said, I'm just like anybody else.

I've failed you.

Then he says, Kill me.

Know what God does?

Go to the cake.

He sends a wind.

But God's not in the wind.

Then he sends her earthquake.

But God's not in the earthquake.

Then he sends a fire.

But God's not in the fire.

And you know what?

The Bible says in a gentle voice, He called Elijah to come out of the cave.

Can you imagine what Elijah was thinking?

Ho ho ho, he's gonna go.

I'm depressed, I'm disappointed in him.

I failed.

I'm no good.

I ought to just die.

I mean, I know one minute I just was used greatly.

Now I'm oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's gonna get me.

He's gonna get me.

No, you know what he did?

He brought him out.

And he loved on him.

Just like the prodigal son when he came home.

His daddy was sitting there with loving on him.

Reminds me when I was in the second grade.

And Miss Ruth Houston, my second grade teacher, would send me to the corner.

I talked too much.

I wonder why.

God couldn't shut me up, so he called me and uses my back.

And she would send me there gently.

Then after she got through teaching, she'd come.

I knew she was coming.

She's gonna sit down right in front of me and then talk to me.

And I remembered how gentle she would be with me.

She'd say, Danny, you know you're not supposed to talk when I'm talking.

She just loved on me.

But she corrected me.

She told me what was wrong.

Is that not the way our father does to us?

Absolutely.

So let me close with the last thing.

Letter R.

Our response under God's control.

Here it is, and I want you to fill it in, and we're through.

Our response under God's control.

Gentle people, and watch this, are proactive, not reactive.

Can I get an amen?

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.

And he that rules his spirit better than the mighty.

A proactive person is self-controlled.

A reactive person is other controlled.

Proverbs 15, 4.

Gentle words are a tree of life.

A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Haven't we all said on occasion, you make me so mad?

You upset me so much.

Well, a gentle person is not controlled by the responses of others.

Hello?

They're controlled by God.

Let me repeat that.

A gentle person is not controlled by the responses of others, they're controlled by God.

And here it is, and I close.

How to become a proactive person.

Seek first to understand in your outline.

And the and the next word put an end.

It's supposed to be then, not thee.

Seek first to understand.

Then to be understood.

Proverbs 15, 2.

The tongue of the wise uses knowledge right, but the mouth of fools pours out foolish.

You know what?

We do that oppositely, don't we?

We want people to understand us first.

Hello, come on, help me.

Amen.

You ever been in a disagreement with your husband or wife?

Yeah, I know everybody's got to say yes.

Okay?

And let me tell you what I what I do.

I go first.

I'm letting Susan I want her to understand me.

I want her to understand my point.

I want to understand.

It's my, my, my, my, my, my, my.

When's the last time there was a disagreement and you just stopped and said, okay, honey, please, totally.

Explain your position.

She said she'd faint.

Thanks, honey.

Told you I've been beat up all week.

But I'm telling you, let me tell you what I've been praying for.

Now listen to me.

I said, Lord, this whole week, if I react, okay, without understanding, will you convict me?

I have been convicted so much this week.

And I, but you know what I've done?

I'd asked the Lord to let me be man enough to stop right there and tell that person I'm sorry.

And I've done that about three, four, five times this week.

I mean, I just, boom, that old collect, boom.

I just, instead of being gentle, I was judgmental.

Hello?

And didn't even realize it until after I said it, and I said, that was judgmental.

That wasn't being trying to understand how tough or what he had just done or what she had just done, and all that was involved in that.

You know, when you really hear the whole background, you know what?

You know what I did?

I said, wow.

All that effort and all instead of saying thank you and encouraging that person and saying thank you so much, I just said, wow, well, why'd I do that?

You know what that is?

That's judgmental.

That wasn't kind.

That wasn't gentle.

Just think for a moment.

If we responded with gentleness and we tried to understand before we spoke, oh my goodness.

Now let me give, I know I always have a verse for what I'm saying.

Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.

James 119.

Could we all pray that as a church family?

God, let us be gentle, not judgmental.

Amen.

Say that with me.

Gentle, not judgmental.

If we do that, we will see revival come.

Because you will be a light set on a hill that cannot be healed.

Every head bow, every eye closed.