Mother's Day

Turn in your Bibles to Proverbs 31.

And Beatrice has already shared so many thoughts, and I'm glad we I I told her this is where we were going to concentrate.

And she is a teacher not just of the Word of God but also of children in Tanzania.

And she teaches her own children, but she has she's runs a school and is a very gracious woman, and she helps these children that might not have education otherwise.

And so glad that you are able to share with us today.

Thank you, Miss Beatrice.

Love you.

And then professionally, I'm used to teaching hour and a half long classes.

I'm not going to do that.

Okay?

But I want to share with you four things.

You've got the outline, and we're going to go through Proverbs 31, but not in order.

We've kind of rearranged them a little bit.

But I just want you to know that this is such a privilege to get to share with you.

And I'm a crybaby.

You already know that.

But just ignore that and we'll just keep going.

The first thing I want to talk to you about is the worth of this virtuous woman.

In Proverbs 31, this was written, by the way, by a mother to her son.

And so those of you who have sons, you should teach your sons what to look for in a wife.

That's what Proverbs 31 is.

It's advice to young men looking for a wife.

I would also challenge the dads, although I don't have a chapter to go to unless it was Psalm 1, to teach your daughters what kind of husband they should be looking for.

And so the reverse is true, but you've got to first be that kind of person so then you can teach that.

The virtuous woman is a teacher and she's kind.

Beatrice said both of those things.

That's part of my favorite thing.

But we want to teach our children how to love God and how to love people.

And she's right, the mother's teaching all day long.

All day long.

Whether it's learning how to count, learning how to say their letters, or learning how to not throw their food on the floor when they don't like something.

I don't know if you ever remember that when they were in the high chair, you know, you'd give them something and it just, you know, becomes a game.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So moms have a lot to teach their children besides finding a wife.

But it says that her character is good.

It says, an excellent wife who can find.

She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

That's an interesting word.

We'll come back to that.

She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.

Skip down to verse 28.

Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.

Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.

Look at verse 31.

Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

This is a woman that everyone is saying good things about.

You know, everyone is praising her, her husband, her children.

She's precious.

She's so worthy of the honor that she's being given here.

And, you know, it's interesting to me that it's the husband and the children that are calling her blessed.

Because those that are closest to us, that live with us when we have on our pajamas and don't have any makeup on, they're the ones who know us.

Not all the world, not the Facebook likes, not the image you try to give to everyone, but the real you shows up at home every day, all day long.

And so when a husband and children have good things to say, publicly and privately, then you know that this is a woman who has a good character.

It says that she's more precious than jewels.

Verse uh 11 said that her husband trusts her.

That's a good thing.

I think we understand that.

He knows that she he knows that he can count on her to be faithful, that he can count on her to be his support, and count on her to be his friend and companion.

But this second phrase has something to do with money.

Now, isn't that interesting?

He will have no lack of gain.

The King James uses the word spoil, and the word spoil literally means the spoils of war.

The husband goes to battle, he brings back all these treasures from their great victory, and he doesn't even need that extra treasure because his wife manages money so well.

You didn't know that was about money, did you?

It is.

You know, it's a good thing my husband trusts me because he couldn't find our bank account if he tried.

You know, I tease him all the time.

But that's I'm just more detail-oriented.

And so he designated that task to me.

There's not anything that he doesn't know about.

I don't have secret accounts.

But if I wanted to, I could clean him out.

But it says the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he has no lack of gain.

He doesn't have to worry about that.

It's it's our you know, pot, it's our treasure.

You know, I'm doing what is good for us and for the family.

And we had a deal when we first got married that neither one of us would spend over$50 without talking to the others.

Now that was 40 years ago.

You know, you can go to the grocery store and not come home with milk and bread for that now.

But at that time, that was just, you know, other things, just daily, you know, affairs, we just handled those.

But when it came to the big decisions, you know, whether we're buying a vehicle or deciding on a house or those kinds of things, we're always, you know, talking with each other.

It says that she makes her husband's life better.

Best marriage retreat question ever.

Is your husband better off because he's married to you?

Is your wife better off because she's married to you?

You know, sometimes we look at um marriage as a 50-50, but it's really more like a hundred, a hundred.

We need to each bring all that we are to the marriage.

And I I've evaluated my husband every anniversary.

I kind of run through, you know, I think about all those fellas I used to date.

And I'm so glad I married this one.

He has made my life better.

He's a good man.

I fell in love with him because he was quoting the scripture.

It's the truth.

It really is.

I found somebody who had a heart for the word and a heart for God.

We probably should have asked a few other questions because we disagree about just about everything else.

This is true.

Those of you who know us, it's true.

We're so opposite.

We are so opposite, but on the things that matter, we're on the same page.

And it's such a blessing.

But wives, is your husband better off because he's married to you?

Does he come home and look forward to being with you?

Or does he come home to somebody who whines and complains and makes his life more burdensome?

It's a challenge for us.

Her husband is well respected.

Now, I I skipped this verse and let me find it.

Um, it says that her husband is known in the gates, and I just missed that one in my notes.

But her husband is known when he sits in the town council.

Well, you know, we don't know anything about this man except that he has a good wife.

And so the power of a wife who does her husband good, the power of a wife who is trustworthy, the power of a wife who has a good character is that she makes her husband better.

And because of that relationship, because of that marriage, because of that the way that they live, he is successful in his endeavors and is respected in the community.

That's awesome.

That's awesome.

It says that her children bless her.

I wish I could say that I had always appreciated everything my mother did for me.

I went through a period in my teenage years when I thought both my parents were just dumb as rocks.

You know, I know what's good for me.

They don't know anything, and they're always bossing me around.

Oh my goodness.

And then, you know, the Lord got a hold of my heart, and I started growing as a Christian.

And I started reading my Bible, and my attitude toward my parents changed.

Dad says it's a good thing, or I'd have given mom a nervous breakdown.

So I was, you know, I was quite the child.

Not that I was out doing wild, and you know, I didn't get arrested.

I was just had a bad attitude.

I don't know if you've got a teenager in your house with an attitude, but I mean it'll ruin your day.

It's rough.

But God changed my attitude and he changed my heart.

But in those years, as a growing Christian, there was an arrogance about me because I was spiritual.

And I was reading my Bible, and I was doing this, and I was doing that.

And I grew up with good parents who always took me to church, who always lived in our lives their practice of their faith.

But they weren't real verbal.

You know, we didn't sit down at the table and have family devotions together, and I was very critical.

I thought, you know, you should have done more.

You should have been teaching me the word.

You should have been.

Teenagers, be patient with your parents.

They're not perfect.

But they love you more than life.

I know it hurt mom when I would say things like that.

And she said, I still remember what she said, didn't I teach you to be kind and to help others?

Proverbs 31, verse 26 says, She opens her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:26

I couldn't have had a more important lesson.

But I was critical because I thought it should be some other way.

Children, be careful to honor your mother and father.

It says that her husband praises her.

And she compares well with others.

She says that she surpasses them all.

If it was a beauty contest, she would win.

You know, it's interesting that this uh whole chapter doesn't really say anything about her beauty, except that beauty is vain.

You know, it's not about standing in front of the mirror and putting on a perfect impression.

That's not what it is.

It's the character of the heart that's important.

And that's what Proverbs 31 teaches.

It says, reward her according to her works.

The second thing, so that's her worth.

The second thing is her way.

This is her manner, her habits, the self-discipline that she shows in her life.

Because all of us have to learn good behaviors.

We have to learn good ways.

They don't come naturally.

It says in verse 16 that she considers a field and buys it.

With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard.

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

Her lamp doesn't go out at night.

She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household and doesn't eat the bread of idleness.

So, how would I summarize this group of verses that describe her habits and her discipline, her ways?

She's she's a careful person who plans ahead.

Notice what it says about the considering the field and buys it.

She plans, she investigates, she makes a decision, and then she follows through.

She doesn't just jump into things, she considers it.

You know, she weighs it, the pros and cons.

She thinks about that.

Is this a good thing to do?

And then she follows through.

And she plants the vineyard.

She looks well to the ways of her household.

She's attentive.

Do you know how you can find somebody who has a servant heart?

They're paying attention to other people and what they need.

They're the ones when you say, Is there a the napkin just appears like they'd already noticed you were missing that?

They just know what it is that you need.

And they they're attentive.

They're watching to the ways of their household.

They know they're almost out of milk in the refrigerator because they just looked in there and they paid attention.

I think I need to stop and get milk.

You know, they they know what's needed for the household.

It says that she has high standards of quality and excellence.

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

She pays attention to do good work.

My mother's corners match.

I mean, you I don't know if you've done quilting.

You see those points?

Do you know how hard that is?

I do because mom keeps making me rip it out and do it again.

Nope, do it again.

Nope, do it again.

It's hard.

When she makes cookies, they're all the same size.

Not because she's OCD.

Because they bake better, because one doesn't get burned while the other one's still cooking.

That's why you make cookies the same size.

There's a reason she considers her ways.

There's a reason behind what she does.

And so this is she has this way about her.

That do it like this.

She manages her time wisely.

She's not idle.

There's not a lazy bone in her body.

Now, she rises early and she stays up late.

Now, remember when this was written?

Pre-electricity.

Okay.

So she gets more sleep in the winter than she does in the summer.

I hope she'd never lived in Alaska.

That would be rough.

Okay, because she gets up while it's night.

She stays up after dark.

But what time does it get dark now?

Eight-ish?

Okay, fine.

You can go to bed at nine o'clock.

It works for me.

I'm not saying that she works 24-7.

She's not a workaholic, but she doesn't waste time.

She's strong and dignified.

This means she's not crude and rude.

It doesn't mean that she doesn't know how to have fun or doesn't know how to laugh or know how to play.

But there's dignity that goes with it.

Now, all mothers embarrass their children.

It's part of our job.

But she doesn't embarrass you because she has a filthy mouth.

She doesn't embarrass you because she says inappropriate things.

She's dignified and strong, and she speaks with wisdom.

This is my favorite verse in the whole passage, verse 26.

She opens her mouth with wisdom.

This is the discipleship part of being a virtuous woman.

Now I don't run around telling everybody else how to raise their children, and I don't run around correcting other children unless they're talking in church right in front of me and I am distracted.

Then I'll go.

That's the teacher part of me.

I will come sit with you.

Okay, I will.

I really will do that.

But generally speaking, I'm not responsible for your kids.

You are.

But you know who I'm responsible for?

My children.

And so I am responsible to teach them when to be quiet and when to speak up, how to make up their bed.

Do you know how messy it is teaching children how to cook?

We've done cooking camp a few years.

Wow.

You know, but I do that for my own children.

I would have never learned to cook if my mom was worried about the mess in the kitchen.

Because it's just what you do while you're learning.

I didn't know you cooked with one hand and cleaned with the other.

I didn't, I hadn't figured that out yet.

And and yet, when my son-in-laws, when they got married to my girls, they said, Wow, I didn't know she could cook.

I thought, well, what do you think?

Well, I don't know.

You always did all the cooking.

I said, they help me with everything.

They know how to do everything I do.

They said, John just recently said of Mary, he said, Well, we had a Susan meal tonight.

And I said, What do you mean?

He goes, Well, there was nothing to eat.

Mary opens the pantry and the refrigerator and out comes the meal.

I don't know where it came from.

She said, You do that all the time.

And I said, Yeah, it's called being resourceful.

Yes, we do know how to do that.

But that discipleship starts at home with our children.

And then she teaches kindness.

1 Corinthians 13 describes love, and it says, love is patient and first two words, patient and kind.

It's the characteristic of love.

If mothers are known for their love, it's because of this kindness that we are kind to our children.

We're not shrill and sharp and shrieking at them all the time.

We're kind.

And we have to practice it because sometimes they try our patience, patient and kind.

We love our children.

I used to always say, you know, my youngest is the twin of her dad.

Okay, she really is.

She's her dad in a woman's body.

If you can imagine such a thing.

So Stephanie is strong.

She came out of the womb in charge of the world.

And I spent half of her growing up years saying, I'm the mama.

I'm the mama.

Okay?

Because she thought she was going to tell me what to do.

That's just how it was in her life.

But when I would say, I love you, she'd say, um, I she would say, I love you, and I would say, I love you more.

And then she'd get all mad and competitive.

No, you don't, I love you more.

She's very, you know, I don't know where that competitiveness comes from.

She wrote me a sweet text last night, and she said, Mom, now that I have children, you're right.

You do love me more.

Amen.

Until you experience, whether it's biological or hormonal or whatever, but until you experience a mother's love, you would lay in the road for them.

You just would do anything for them.

They don't know how much you love them.

Even when you're disappointed, even when they're disappointed, even when it's been a rough day, it's a love that is endures to the end.

1 Corinthians 13 is exactly how a mother loves her children.

When that doesn't happen, it's usually because there's not a right relationship with the Lord.

Because in the normal vein of human life, mothers love their children.

And you teach them to love others.

You teach them by your example.

The last uh the last two points her works.

Her work is good.

So her character is good, her ways.

Are good and her works are good too.

Now, none of us have done this, I don't think.

In Proverbs 31, verse 13, it says, She seeks wool and flax.

Proverbs 31:13

No, we don't make our own fabric.

We seldom make our own clothes.

But this is what was done in that day.

She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands.

Underline willing hands.

Not grudgingly, not out of necessity, but willingly.

Glad to do it.

Glad to do it.

She's like the ships of the merchant.

She brings her food from afar, seeking quality ingredients, the best she can get.

She rises while it's at night, provides food for her household.

I can remember many, many Sunday mornings when I would be the first one up getting lunch ready because it was time to go to church.

And when we came home, we wanted it to pretty much be ready to set on the table.

That's just what the virtuous woman did.

She rises and provides food for her household and portions for her maids.

She takes care of those in her household.

She considers a field and buys it.

And with the fruit of her womb, or the fruit of the womb, the fruit of her hands.

Yes, all the children are going to work that yard, that vineyard, I can tell you.

That's how it worked when I was growing up.

The whole family got out doing the yard work.

Dad was cutting the grass, mama was hoeing the flowers, I was doing the weed trimmer when they weren't electric.

Blister City, you know, the little weed whackers.

She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

In Colossians 1, it says that we should work, that we should walk in a manner that's worthy of the Lord, well pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work.

That's what she does in everything that she does.

Let me just tell you four ways that she uh blesses those that are around her.

I have a favor to ask, Benji.

Can you turn my microphone off for a second?

You didn't want to hear that.

All right, Proverbs 31.

It says that first of all, she works for herself.

Now, I know that it sounds kind of odd for this woman who's so unselfish and tending to her family, but she's like she's like that um air mask instruction on the airplane.

You know, if oxygen comes down, put it on yourself first, then the person in your seat next to you.

You are no good to anybody if you are worn out.

So there's balance in her work.

We all need balance in her work.

She takes time to strengthen her arms.

That means she works out.

When does she do that?

Well, Mary, right now with the twins who are one year old today.

Happy birthday, Dawson and Declan.

So they are one year old, my little youngest babies, they're twins.

Um, this is how she works out.

Picking up those babies.

And when she picks up Dawson, she gets a double workout because he's a little bigger than Declan.

Um, but she she takes time to attend to her own needs of rest, working out, stress relief, all those things.

It's important.

It's important to work for yourself.

She um she's she uh has nice clothes, she dresses herself well, she takes time.

Those of you who know me best know that I'm a Sunday makeup girl.

The rest of the week, sorry.

You know, it's just you you get what you get, freckles and barefaced, and you know, no eyelashes and the whole nine yards.

But she makes herself look nice.

If I know I'm going out, then I try to not make it hard for somebody else to have to look my direction.

But um, you know, but she looks nice.

And she she takes it talks about her bedding.

So the the the things in her home, whether it's her curtains or her pillows, or you know, she just she has nice things, she tends to those things, she works for herself, she works for her household.

She provides food and clothing.

Look, it says that she's um she's not afraid of the snow for her household because they're all clothed in scarlet.

What does that mean?

She knew winter was coming.

So she's been sewing those little coats, she's been getting them ready.

They have socks, they have hats and mittens, she's prepared, she's not worried about cold weather because she's ready for it.

She's looking well to the ways of her household.

She works for profit.

Lest you think that we are only describing stay-at-home mom.

She's considering a field and buying it, she's making girdles and taking them into the marketplace.

She makes investments.

That's what you do when you buy land and plant a vineyard on it.

She makes linen garments and sells them.

So she's working in the marketplace.

And then look at the fourth way that she works.

She works for the poor and needy.

She stretches out her arms to the needy.

Matthew 6, when Jesus was preaching, he said, Let your deeds of giving be done in secret.

It's not something that you blow a horn and say, Let me tell you what I gave to so and so.

It was a secret gift.

But she always was meeting the needs of those who needed help.

So she had good work.

And then the last thing is her worship.

She seeks the Lord.

There's only one verse dedicated to this, but it's the underlying foundation for everything else that has happened.

It says, Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain.

All right, women.

Beauty is vain.

Somebody say amen.

Look, we're all gonna get older.

This halo over my head is not Danny's angelic halo, it's silver hair.

Okay, we're all gonna get older.

We're all gonna get wrinkles.

Men age better than women generally, except for Beatrice.

I'm telling you, dark skin doesn't wrinkle, it's just not fair.

So, but most of us, especially if you're fair, you're gonna get wrinkles and you're gonna get older.

Beauty is vain.

I'm not the same as when I was 19.

We're not gonna go there, okay?

But I just want you to know beauty is vain.

But what is it that lasts?

But a woman who fears the Lord, she's to be praised.

You know, it's the spiritual qualities of the heart that you've got to look for.

That's what's more important.

Matthew 6 33 says, But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Do you look at the virtuous woman and say, This is impossible?

I can't do that.

Well, let's not make a list of all the things we've got to do.

Let's make a list of the first thing that we've got to do.

Seek the Lord.

He's first, he's the first priority.

Why do how you know, you can't teach your children how to live for God if you don't first open your own Bible, if you don't take time to spend time in the Word.

You know, sometimes you have to let things go because you cannot do it all.

So you just need to do the most important thing first, and that's being in the Word.

In Romans 12, it says, I beseech you by the mercies of God that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

And don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

How are you going to be this virtuous woman?

Well, you're going to have to lay it on the altar and say, okay, God, here I am.

My life is yours.

I surrender my mind, my hands, my feet, my time, my rights.

I give it all to you.

And in this world today, when we act like there's no difference between genders, everything's unisex, and you can choose your gender.

Listen, God made you fearfully and wonderfully.

He didn't make any mistakes.

He didn't give you the body of one person and the mind of another.

God is a good God.

And I just want to say that it is a joy to be a wife and a mother.

It's a privilege.

I'm glad I wasn't made a man.

Now, you know the Jewish prayer was, God, thank you for not making me a woman, a gentile, or a dog.

I mean, that was pretty bad.

But the virtuous woman, she lives an examined life.

She lives a life that is dedicated to the Lord.

And when, all right, look, all of us, men, women, children, everybody.

Who is who is our role model?

It's not our mothers, okay?

They're one on our on earth, but who's our real role model?

Who are we looking after?

We look under Jesus.

Now, he was perfect.

And we don't get mad about that.

Why don't we get mad at Proverbs 31?

We don't get mad that Jesus was perfect and we think, well, and He said, Be ye holy, for I'm holy.

The bar is high, the expectation is high.

And I'll just tell you, the Christian life is either impossible or easy.

It's nowhere in the middle.

It's either impossible or it's easy.

It is impossible if you try to do it in your own strength.

It is easy if you let the Spirit of God live through you moment by moment.

So it's either impossible, you can't do it, or it's easy because you're just a vessel letting God flow through, letting Him do it.

I don't have a word of just encouragement.

This woman was willing to work, pleasing the Lord.

She was positive.

When you have a relationship with the Lord, a close one, you're not negative.

You're not complaining and whining.

The Bible says the people complained.

This is in um, I can't remember.

It's one of Moses' books.

I can't.

The people complained and it displeased the Lord.

I quoted that to my children one morning for family devotions.

The people complained and it displeased the Lord.

God's not into negative stuff.

And we're not negative when we have a relationship with the Lord.

She's not fearful of the future because she's prepared.

She's not worried because she trusts the Lord.

You know, the economy's crazy right now.

This is a terrible time to retire and watch your little nest egg shrinking.

You know, you almost don't even want to look.

But I'm not worried because God holds my future.

I'm not worried about money.

God is always taking care of us in every way.

She's purposeful.

She thinks before she acts and before she speaks.

You have to sometimes pray that verse.

Set a guard, oh Lord, on my lips.

It's not good to say everything you think.

You know that, right?

You really should have a filter.

Wear your filter.

Let the word of God be your filter.

If it's not good, if it's not useful, if it's not building up, keep your mouth shut.

In the words of Thumper, if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.

It's good advice.

That's for you, Braden in Brooklyn.

She was generous.

She thinks about others.

She gives you the bigger piece of pie.

She takes care of others.

She fears the Lord by loving and obeying the word of God.

Now, for husbands, children, friends, everybody who's not a mother.

I know you think, well, that's great.

I'm so glad that mom heard that because, you know, she really needs to step it up.

How dare you! Let me tell you what the challenge is for you.

May you pray and support and encourage the women in your life.

It's impossible or it's easy.

And sometimes it's just hard with all the irons we have in the fire.

And so be an encouragement, supportive, show thanks to them today.

Do something special, not just today, but every day.

You'll never regret that.

Don't make her the house slave.

Let her be the homemaker.

And for mothers, do you fear the Lord?

Is He your first priority?

It's the only way you'll ever compete with Wonder Woman here.

Proverbs 31.

Almost too good to be true.

But she loves the Lord.

Are you a worker?

Someone who works willingly?

More importantly, do you disciple your children?

Are you teaching wisdom and kindness?

That one thing.

It's impossible or it's easy.

And if you'll trust the Lord, it'll be that.

Pastor Rick, would you come and lead us in prayer?

I want everybody to stunt, come and stand to your feet.

And if the Lord has spoken to you today, I want you to just take a minute and I want you to kind of confirm in your own heart what he's saying.

You know, God likes it when you respond to him.

And the best way to respond to the Lord is to give him a blank check.

You sign on the signature line, but you leave the rest of it blank.

And say, Lord, whatever it is that you want, if it's my words, if it's my ways, if it's my time, if it's you have all of me from the top of my head to the sole of my feet.

And whatever it is that God has been saying to you, the best answer is yes, Lord.

Would you do that in your heart and mind?

Thank you, Mr.