The Family Significance

Good morning, CCW.

This is gonna age some people, but how many of you remember watching Family Matters?

The rest of you need to grow up.

It has been an awesome few weeks for me and my family, and uh man, I'm so glad that uh the church here got to hear from Pastor Danny, and uh he talked to you about uh temptation.

Then Pastor Joe came and talked on the prodigal son, and uh Pastor Dave last week kind of segued us into this Family Matters series with the five love languages.

And didn't all of them do a great job?

Can we give them a hand?

I listened to all of them, great messages, thank you guys.

We're blessed here with the staff and people that we have, and uh man, it's a joy.

The hardest thing about being on vacation, quite literally, was not preaching for three weeks.

Everything else was pretty easy.

Um, I tell people, you know, I tried to put in a marathon in the lazy river, and uh, so I'm pretty sure I got my 26 miles of just floating, and uh, but man, it was good.

And I met with God and God gave me church.

I'm so excited, God gave me a vision for 2023 and where our church needs to go, and so I'm so excited.

Um, I want to celebrate a couple things with you that I didn't get to while I was gone.

I want to celebrate.

Uh, if you would raise your hand if you went through the next steps class, just raise your hand up.

Look around, it's a lot of folks and their kids.

So, all of these people, most of them are gonna be joining the church family already have something like 26, 28 uh different adults and then their children.

So I don't know about you.

That's my math here.

50-ish people depend on their kids.

So, man, God is doing some awesome things.

And uh, by the way, connect groups.

Those of you that have joined a group, those start today and they'll be going throughout the week.

So make sure that before you leave, there's guides that look like this.

They're on the back table out here.

If you haven't joined a group, there's still a couple of groups with some openings, and I would love for you to get involved and grow with your church family that way.

So, with all that being said, turn your Bible to Deuteronomy chapter 6, and we are going to jump in to the Family Matters series.

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

And let me tell you, church, this has been eating my lunch studying.

I've got a young family, and let me tell you, everything that I'm getting ready to go through, I am going through it, and uh man, it's good, but I'm gonna warn you, it's not all easy.

So I want to talk to you this morning about the family significance.

And when I think about that, there's no price tag that I can put on the significance of the sovereignty of God in my life sending me to a small Christian college in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

When I arrived at Tennessee Temple University, my plans were to get closer to God.

Period.

That was my plan.

And somewhere along the way, I looked across campus and my eyes caught beauty like I'd never seen before.

And I said, good heavens, there was only one teeny tiny little problem, just a formality.

I had a girlfriend.

But we could get rid of that problem, right?

And so by Christmas of that semester, I had planned my escape, and the night after that escape, the school was having a skating rink outing, and so I went, and after skating rink, a bunch of people were in a group and they said, You want to go to steak and shake?

I've never been to steak and shake before.

I now love steak and shake.

And so we get to steak and shake, and um there on the other end of that table was that beauty that I saw across campus.

The way God works sovereignly and his plans, piecing things together.

And I sat on the exact opposite end of the table.

We said zero words through all of the meal, and then out of nowhere, college conversations sometimes are pointless and but mostly fun.

They'll keep you up two, three in the morning, talking about nothing, how you're gonna save and conquer the world.

Well, the conversation circled around to hypothetically, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?

Great conversation.

Heather, who has not spoken to me, pointed all the way across the other end of the table and she said, Well, we know what Rick would be.

Look at him.

He looks like a raccoon.

And that's what happened at the table.

It went into a roar of laughter at my expense, and I couldn't just sit there and take that.

So I blurted out back across the table.

That's okay, horse gums.

And she laughed, and I laughed, and it's been love ever since.

Truly.

We've been together 20 years, three years of dating, 17 years of marriage, and now with a life with three precious children, and a and a life that I really couldn't script, to say that my family has significance in my life is a great understatement.

The family matters.

Let me pray.

Father, we love you.

And God, I pray now that you would fill us with your presence.

And God, I believe that the continuation of the Church of God stands solely on the families of God.

And so, God, I pray now that the seriousness, the weightiness of the matter would be felt.

Lord, that our families here, that God would grasp what you want them to grasp from your word, and help me, God, to speak it only the way that you want it spoke.

Father, we love you.

I'm so thankful for the church at Chelsea Westover.

Be with us today in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Look in Deuteronomy 6, let's read verses 1 through 3.

It says, Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments what the Lord your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you're crossing over to possess.

Hear this that you may fear the Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments which I command you.

Listen, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.

Therefore, hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the Lord God of your fathers has promised you.

So the first thing this morning that I want you to understand is this right way of resolution.

It says in verse 1, this is the command, this is the statute, and this he leaves no gray area for what he wants you to get.

This is what I want you to know.

It's not left for debate, discussion, or dispute.

He says, this is the statute, this is the declaration or resolution that I want from you.

You know, when I think, and you think probably most of the time about resolutions, you probably go straight to New Year's.

And I love that.

I love new goals.

I love during my time away to sit down, and I just went through the whole ministry and goal.

I love that.

And so, uh, but when we think of New Year's, we think of all of those new things.

The S-word happened this week for some of the students in here.

Some of you are lost on that.

School happened this week.

I usually don't say it until it starts, so it started, but this is what I know, and I and I talked last week to some students.

It's a brand new chance.

It doesn't matter what happened before, what happened in the past.

Everything started brand new Thursday and Friday, and it's still new Monday.

It's it's a time for something new.

Don't you like new things?

What about the smell of a new car?

Anybody, that's your thing?

Uh, new sheets or clean sheets on a bed, new food brought fresh to your table.

We love new.

And guess what?

So does God.

In Lamentations 3.22 it says, for his mercies are new every morning.

In 2 Corinthians 5.17, it says about the Christian, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation.

He said, Behold, all things are like new.

And so if you come into this this morning thinking, man, in some ways it's just too late for me, let me tell you, it is not.

It's not too late.

And so as we start this new series on the family, I want you to give yourself a clean slate.

I want you to start with this brand new idea that it's time for new, it's time for a resolution for your family.

And this is what the resolution should be.

Say this with me.

Family matters.

Say this.

Family matters, and it does.

So how, if my family's gonna matter to me, how might I be mightily resolved to that?

Well, he tells us in verse 2.

Okay, what it says.

That you may fear the Lord your God.

So the first thing that we must do is fear God.

What in the world does fear even mean?

What does fear mean today?

A lot of people will get mixed up about this.

Um, and so let me tell you the definition.

Fear here means morally revere, to be held in awe of something.

How can I fear, how can I be held in the awe of God in a way that matters in my family, in my life?

Well, there's a video that I uh had seen a long while ago, and I want to take you.

It's you'll have to watch with it, and it's gonna take us uh into space so that we can see the awe of God.

Check this out.

What what you're seeing right now.

First of all, this is the earth.

Okay?

And we're gonna we're gonna rise up for a little bit here.

Okay, we're gonna pull away from it.

We're gonna pull higher.

Now, this is at about 10 kilometers.

Like if you climb Mount Everest, this is what you'd see.

You'd see the curvature of the earth from that distance.

Now you're gonna we're gonna climb up even higher.

This is at a hundred kilometers, and you're a fourth of the way to the space station now.

This is what you'd see.

If you get to this level, you're considered an astronaut.

Just if you ever get there.

Okay, now we're going a hundred thousand kilometers.

A hundred thousand kilometers from the earth.

So you're a fourth of the way to the moon, that's what the earth would look like.

Now we're gonna pull away to a million kilometers.

At a million kilometers, there's the moon.

Okay, there's the moon, you can barely see the earth.

You're at a million kilometers now, you're past the past the moon, and uh now we're gonna go to a hundred million kilometers.

A hundred million kilometers, you're still not to the sun.

The sun's 93 million miles away, but now we're gonna go to 10 trillion kilometers.

There's the sun, okay.

You just passed the sun, now you would see all of the planets at 10 trillion kilometers.

And now we're at 10 to the 15th power.

That means 10 with 15 zeros.

I don't know what that number is.

15 zeros, and the sun's just like a bright dot amidst other stars.

And now we're going to ten light years away.

At 10 light years away.

Come on, let's go.

So there you go.

10 light years away.

Now you just see the sun with like 11 other stars that are kind of its neighbors.

You know, that that that's our sun.

And now we're gonna go a thousand light years away.

At a thousand light years away, you wouldn't even see our sun anymore.

These are just a bunch of stars close to it in this cluster inside the Milky Way.

Now we're gonna zoom out even further, and that's the Milky Way we live in.

See that cluster of stars?

Those are about a hundred thousand stars that are closest to our sun.

You can't see our sun anymore at this point.

Now, this is our Milky Way galaxy, and forget about the Earth.

Okay, there's our Milky Way galaxy that we live in.

Um and we're just buried in there somewhere, and we're gonna pull out even further, and you'll see that our galaxy is actually it's it's a big galaxy, and uh, and all those other things you're seeing now are galaxies, and we're gonna pull away 10 million light years now.

His next scene is 10 million light years, those are all galaxies you see, amidst our Milky Way, several hundred galaxies.

Now we're gonna go a hundred million light years away.

This is the last one.

We're gonna zoom out to a hundred million light years, those are all clusters of galaxies, galaxies and clusters of galaxies.

You won't even see our Milky Way galaxy anymore amidst that.

We don't have telescopes that go beyond that little sphere there.

My simple mind can't even wrap around the vastness and the awe of how our God sits in the heavens and what has come through his mind.

And so when we look at the idea of understanding the awe of God so that we morally revere who God is.

Scripture says in Psalms, the heavens declare the glory of God.

And what I think often happens for our families and life is we just get so much music and elevator music of life going on and busyness of life that we don't see God for who he is and the wonder of who he is.

On my vacation at Orange Beach, I love to look at and listen to the ocean.

Um, it inspires me to do it.

I love sitting out there.

A couple of really neat things happened while I was on vacation this time.

Um, one, we have uh some nieces and nephews, my kids, and one day I was sitting out there, and this happened before, but for a small child is really cool.

Uh a bunch of dolphins, a sea of dolphins went by, and I'm like, guys, come here, come to the balcony, there's dolphins, and watching the little kids run out, their faces, and the wonder in their eyes in that moment was really cool.

One night I was sitting out with my brother-in-law, and uh it was past midnight, and we're just conversating, and I'm looking up, and the stars are so vivid, and I saw five or six shooting stars as we're sitting there, and I'm like, wow, would you look at this?

It's unbelievable to see what God does.

Well, one day I was telling the staff this this week.

One day I went out to the ocean, and um, I believe I was walking with Callie, and we went out and we were playing around in the water, and I like to kind of search around for seashells.

Just I'm always trying to find a good seashell.

Probably 10 years ago I found like the mother of all seashells, the big conch shell, and it was huge, and uh I had just been playing and digging, and this happened while we were there this week, and it was like it's weird to even say it.

You ever like tried God in a way and you thought if I share with people, they're gonna think something's weird about me?

Well, I'm gonna share anyway because we're all weird and it's all good, just get over it.

So I was out there and I was playing, and I prayed for something that really didn't matter to anyone but me and them.

I said, God, would you just let me have another one of those conch shells?

And that was sort of my prayer as I'm playing, I'm digging, water's hitting me, and I'm trying not to really get deep in, and I'm just playing.

And I promise you, I pray that prayer, and not down in the sand, but floating across the water hit my hand.

And I look and I go, holy cow! Like, why would God even choose to answer this prayer and all of the creation as big as he is, in fact, and then I was like weirded out.

Should I share this with the family?

Because it's like silly, and I'm like, I don't care.

I prayed this and God did it, and so if that's weird, it's weird, but I don't want to lose my wonder.

There's an old country song by Leanne Womack called Dance.

It says, if you get the choice to sit out or dance, I hope you dance.

But in the song, there's a couple of lines.

She says, I hope that you never lose your sense of wonder.

Another line says, I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.

And when I'm out there in that place, I feel small.

And to understand the awe and wonder of God and to fear God appropriately, I think we need a priority of the proper placement of where we stand.

God is not second.

God will not be second.

God cannot be second.

And so for us to understand how to have this fear of God, we've got to know that God is first.

Proverbs 1 7 says, the fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom and knowledge.

And so when you come into the house of God, do you come in with a sense of wonder?

I mean, he is holy and he is sovereign.

He is the bread of your life, he is the living water of your life.

And God is keeping earth perfectly in orbit.

He's keeping the sun at 90 plus million miles away so that it will not burn us up.

He is a God of wonder.

He is.

I want you to look at your neighbor and say, He is.

He's your family sustainment.

He's your next breath.

He's your next heartbeat.

And so do we have an awe of God?

I want to give you sort of a practical challenge.

Um, I don't know who I'm gonna ask about this, but we I want to get a box.

Somebody, I need a box, and I want you for the next few weeks of this series, I want you to bring your God thing testimonies, the awe of God in your life.

If it's something in the past, bring it.

If it's something that's happened that week, bring it.

I want us to practice looking at the awe of God and not act like it's just happenstance when a shell hits your hand that you prayed for.

You see, I think families are looking at a lot of things today, and we post and share and like a lot of secondary good things, but what about the God things that are happening?

Let's see the awe of God circulate around our church again.

You see, I don't think we can take this family matters resolution without first understanding the proper placement of where God has to be in our life.

For your kids to get it, for your family to get it, for your spouse to get it, for you to really understand about family, you have to fear God.

And the second thing in verse two and three is this the favor of God.

Let's read.

I need to read over verse two and three again.

It says, Fear the Lord, your God, keep his statues and his commands, which I command you, you and your son, your grandson, all the days of your life.

Listen to this part.

Hear this, and that your days may be prolonged.

Therefore, hear, O Israel, and be careful to deserve it.

And listen to this one, and that it may be well with you.

Hold on to days prolonged and well with you.

The favor of God.

Now listen, by no means do I practice prosperity preaching.

If something bad happens in your life, I'm not ever going to tell you that a dump truck full of a hundreds is about to come your way.

If you just declare it, I'm not doing that.

That's not who I am.

Okay?

But when the Bible does tell us a formula, maybe our ears should perk up.

He gives us a formula for quantity of days promised.

Did you hear what he said?

He said, Keep my statutes and commands, and you will have a long life.

I said, Take that, Ponce de Leon, and the fountain of youth.

Pastor Rick just found it.

Here it is.

Keep my statutes and commandments.

Take that, Botox.

You want the best anti-wrinkle cream?

Keep his statutes.

Right?

Fear God and keep his commands, and you will have a long life, Scripture says.

I was thinking through this and thought about some heroes of faith in my life.

You guys get these pictures up.

One of them was Grandma Bolden.

Will you put up a picture of Grandma Bolden?

There's Grandma Bolden.

This is my mom's mother.

Grandma Bolden lived to be 96.

I was real young when I knew her.

She was my mom's grandmother, my great grandmother.

But this is what I knew about Grandma Bolden.

Grandma Bolden could quote some scripture, and it's about all she did.

In the times I knew her, the only conversation wrapped around God and Scripture, and we might sing Amazing Grace every visit.

But Grandma Bowden, you know what?

She lived a long life.

Interesting.

Well, Heather's grandfather, his name, Is Joe Martin.

I think we got a picture of him.

There he is.

Still looks like he's young, right?

Swinging on his way.

This is recently.

He's nearing 90 years old.

You know what I know about Joe Martin?

Man, he fears God and keeps his commandments.

He's been working for the Lord.

He has a book.

I meant to bring it.

His book is My 40 Years in Bus Ministry.

He worked.

I worked in bus ministry.

Bus ministry back in the day was like the hardest thing to do at church.

Right?

I'm serious.

It was hard.

And he 40 years.

Interesting.

He lived a long life.

Well, that made me think about my pastor growing up.

Pastor E.

L.

Britton.

I think we got a picture of him.

He put a picture.

This is my pastor growing up.

He is 100 years old currently and still living.

Talk about a testimony of faith.

God has allowed me to be around some pretty amazing people.

And this is what I've learned.

They have had long quantitative life and they have had good lives.

And you know what?

The only thing that I can point to that I know?

They fear God and they've kept his statutes.

It's probably no surprise to most of you that Billy Graham died at 99 years of age.

If you talk about one of the greatest preachers of our generation, most people will say Billy Graham.

Interesting that it was his hundredth year.

Quality and quantity days.

Well, we we looked at quantity of life, and he says here in the second part that it may be well with you.

I don't know about you.

It's not just number of days, but the way that the days go.

And I say, I don't know about you, but this is what I'm signing up for.

I don't know what my days are, Lord, but are you with me if you say I want my days to be good days?

I want them to be happy days.

It is well with my soul days.

And this is what it says that the days you have will be well.

I'm signing up for that health plan.

I want good days.

Like that old TV show.

I want the happy days, right?

Somebody got the song?

I want those days.

Children, listen to me.

We're going to get into this a couple weeks, but Ephesians 6, 1 and 2 gives the same formula as for obeying your parents.

It says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

You're like, of course he knows that verse by heart.

And then it says, honor them that it may be well with you, and that you may live a long life.

The formula for living good and long life.

Obedience, honor, and respect.

And so the favor of God falls on those that fear him and keep his statute.

Second thing this morning is this.

The right way of relation.

Look at verse 4 and 5.

It says, Here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is.

What's that word?

Does it say two?

Three?

It says, Here, Israel, the Lord our God is one.

That's important.

It says, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

Now, family, your family is about relationships.

It's where we get the word related.

You didn't get to choose your family, right?

You didn't go to the stork and make an order.

You didn't get on Amazon.

You didn't choose to be a part of the one you got dumped in, and you didn't get to choose which kid, like you were born to this earth, and God made you related to people.

Now, this is what I know about my family.

Within that system, my kids irritate the fire out of each other.

And I get a testimony in the house.

Oh, yes.

Nobody can irritate my kids like my other kids.

They are expert button pushers.

Y'all with me?

Right?

There it is.

I can't wait.

I like some days, it's from the moment the other one wakes up.

They're like, I can't wait to get in.

Yes, my purpose is here.

You're awake.

Now I can tick you off.

Ha ha ha.

We used to.

There was a sweet, sweet gentleman that worked as our secretary.

He's gone on to heaven.

His name was Steve McClendon.

Steve is married to a lady named Miss Ann.

And I talked to Steve often and I asked, I said, Steve, does Miss Ann ever get angry?

She's like the sweetest person I've ever met.

Very quiet, self-effacing, real humble.

She would do anything, sir.

And just never, I think when she was angry, she said it in a sweet way, Oh, this is really bothering me.

Like, and so I said to Steve one day, I was like, does she ever get upset?

And Steve said, Well, Pastor, Anne has a button.

And I am an expert at pushing the button.

And I thought, is that not true for you and your family in ways?

Do you remember growing up and your sibling could push that button of yours?

But this is something that I love.

All that being said, when one or the other of them's hurt, let me tell you who comes running.

Man, that sibling is coming.

And one of the most beautiful parts of family instincts kick in.

Even though I've been pushing the button all day.

If you're hurt, the love that is shown is amazing.

Wyatt has helped Weston, kept him from choking twice.

Literally stuck his finger in his mouth and pulled stuff out two times.

I was too slow.

Wyatt was there, boom, got you, saved you, bro, then smacked him right afterward.

Don't do that again, dummy.

That didn't really happen, but I could see it happening.

Weston, when Wyatt flew off the ripstick thing and was concussed, Weston at like five years old ran home two blocks.

I couldn't explain to Heather where we were on the phone.

And I didn't even know that he left.

We were in the dark.

He ran home and got mama there five years old.

I'm like, because he wanted to help his brother.

Callie becomes second Heather as soon as something goes wrong.

She's what do I gotta do?

Getting everything in order, you know.

And and this is what I know.

I know we drive each other crazy, but it's our crazy, isn't it?

And can you say, Amen, families?

It's your crazy.

So how are you relating within family?

Verse 4 there.

He said this fixed on God.

It's fixed on God.

It says this the Lord is one.

That's important.

Our God is monotheistic.

That means there's one.

We don't have a polygod.

We don't have a several God.

We have one God.

And we know this from Scripture.

He's one, He's mono, and He's jealous.

He's a jealous God.

Isn't jealousy a sin, Pastor?

Let me ask the men a question here in relationship with your wives.

Here's some words you probably approve of in your relationship with your wife.

Loyalty.

That's a good one, Pastor.

Devotion, that's a good one.

Fixation ought to be a characteristic of our relationship.

Ladies, if you're chatting it up with another man and he's getting close to you, shouldn't your man get jealous?

Don't you want that a little bit?

You don't want some passive guy that you can go do whatever and someone can get in your right, right?

It's a little bit good.

Now Heather's looks, her touch, her little laugh, those are for me.

Y'all understanding me?

Okay.

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

I'm jealous for that love.

That's for me.

If I see another man inching in that space, he then becomes the apex predator.

And I might be little, but he can get kamikaze 190 pounds on a meniscus will hurt somebody.

You hear me?

Isn't it good that there's a little bit of jealousy there?

There's a principle that God was teaching here about relationships, is this what's number one matters.

We're to be fixed on God, spouse, family.

That's God's order.

1 Corinthians 14, 33 says, God said that everything ought to be done decently in order.

We serve a God of order.

And his order matters.

It's God, spouse, and family.

Understand?

That's the way that we operate within family.

Listen, there can be no good that comes out of a polygamous family.

That's from hell.

Okay.

This is God's order.

God, spouse, family.

God wants singular focus, fixed focus.

Not poly.

He wants mono.

He is one God.

I was thinking about this kind of focus that it takes to live right within family, and it took me back to my baseball days.

I walked in with this, and some of the people said, he hadn't preached in three weeks.

Think he's angry.

I'm not angry.

Okay.

And then somebody else made fun of me because I only had this teal bat that I should have got something more manly.

Well, I'm sorry, that's all I had.

And so I was thinking about the baseball dates and the focus to be a hitter in baseball.

There's no other sport where it's like this.

There's times where somebody can pitch a ball 100 miles an hour from 55 feet away.

And this is what you're told, you better not blink.

Okay?

Because this is what you got, right?

This is what I got at 100 miles an hour.

Not that I ever faced a hundred, but I did face a 90 and fouled it.

I was very proud.

Okay?

And so you get in there, and it's that fast.

And that's what you got.

And this is what I know.

At 100 miles an hour, that ball's coming.

And I gotta be dead on, locked in focused.

Because to hit that ball, I got this much time.

This is what I'm telling you, as far as your focus goes, Satan wants to come in.

And Satan's over here, and that ball is coming every day.

You're up to bat.

And there's a distraction, and what happened?

That's a strike.

And when the distraction comes, any form that he can get your attention, he takes you off your game and you miss.

And our eyes have to be so focused because it's coming and there is a distraction coming.

If he can distract your eyes from that lady of yours for one second, strike.

You missed.

If he can distract you from parenting for one second, if he can distract you from your purpose at church, and here's what he does: he says, Oh, busy schedule.

Oh man, I gotta get back to my busy schedule work.

And then he says, Oh, what about that you've got to have money for the oh, oh, money, money, money.

And and our eyes get so unfixed on the things that really matter.

We have to focus.

Science tells us that it takes extreme focus.

The only sport I know of that you can miss seven out of ten times, and they say you're a great hitter.

300 hitters are the best.

It takes great focus.

Why?

Because it's hard.

I want you to understand what we're talking about is not easy.

You gotta be on every day.

You gotta be on and you gotta be focused, eye on the ball, because there is one Lord.

And if he can send another Lord flying around small L in your ears, a hobby lord, if he can send another something over here and you get your eyes unfocused, then he can take you, and if he takes you, he can take your family.

And so we're told our eyes must be fixed.

Hebrews 12, 2 said, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

That's how we run the race of life.

In Philippians 3.14, he says, My eyes are fixed on Jesus Christ, and I press toward the mark of the high calling of Christ.

If you want your family to matter, you have to have your eyes fixed.

Listen to me, men.

If I fix my eyes on Jesus Christ as the leader of my family and my home, the people that are led by me will emulate the way that they're led.

So we will all relate better to one another because I'm focused on the right thing first.

And I'm not sending mixed messages.

I got one focus first.

All of our relationships will be better because we're living in God's order.

If sports run my home, we can bond over it for a season, but it's temporary and it's gonna end, and then trophies are gonna come crashing down at some point.

And if vacations run my home and I'm focused on them, we can have some fun, but guess what?

It always comes to an end.

If building the house or monuments or cars or stuff is my focus, it can be fun for a minute, but it's temporary and it's always gonna end.

And so Matthew 6, 19 tells us the secret lay not up for yourselves treasured on the earth, but in heaven.

So we have to focus our eyes on something that is not temporary but eternal.

And so first place has to be fixed on God.

The second thing about that letter B is how we function in God.

How do we do that, Pastor?

How in the world do we accomplish this task of always being fixed on God?

Well, he tells us there.

And it's not easy.

He says, You've got to give all.

All of your heart, all of your soul, and all of your strength.

You've got to give.

And there's not days off in this.

You don't get to wake up tomorrow and say, you know what?

I don't feel like it anymore.

We have to give all heart, soul, strength.

Now, I want you to understand the point of this in the law, Moses' law, we learn through it all in Galatians.

The point of this law was to tell people of their inability to keep the whole law.

In fact, telling us of our need of a savior.

So I'm not going to tell you, you're going to be perfect.

Or you're going to be able to always give your all every day, and you're not going to mess up.

Your family needs to see you mess up, and they need to see you fess up.

Okay?

What he was trying to get them to see was their utter spiritual bankruptcy and their need for your savior.

So because we could get that savior, we now have the Holy Spirit.

And so this heart, soul, strength function, this is what it should be doing.

Hear me.

It should be growing.

It should be growing.

In your Christian life, in your family, your heart, soul, and strength for God first should be in a process of growing.

It should not be waning.

In order for your family to grow and your family to operate in the way that God wants them to, that should be seeing growth.

Now hear me.

If you love your kids with heart, soul, strength and God second, hear me, moms?

It's flawed.

It cannot be in that order.

And your schedule and the things you do and the money you spend will show that order of living.

Hear me.

If you love your spouse, heart, soul strength, and God second, it's flawed.

If you love your children first, your spouse second, it's flawed.

It must be fixed on God first.

Heart, soul strength.

Here's the reason it's our foundations and they begin to crumble when we look to faulty sources for fulfillment.

Humans will disappoint you.

And so when your expectation is my spouse, my spouse, my spouse, and then they are disappointed about something, and you're disappointed, well, then your world starts to come crash.

You get that gut feeling.

Oh, I wonder why they feel this way, and you get all in your head space thinking, what are they thinking?

What am I thinking?

What are we supposed to do?

And then your kids, your kids don't reciprocate to you.

And listen to me, that's another message for another day, but they weren't born to reciprocate to you like you think you are parent.

You chose to have them, they didn't choose to have you.

And so this is a this is gonna be a tough one, but you're never gonna get probably what you put in unless you got supernatural kids.

Okay?

That's not God's order.

God meant for you to parent them.

And so, listen, if you put all of your love and your hope and what they do and their sport and their thing and your expectations get disappointed, then you begin to crumble.

Because we're human, and humans are going to fail.

You're gonna get edgy, rude, moody, discourteous because you're disappointed by people.

But let me tell you something.

God will not disappoint.

God will not fail.

He's not gonna dismiss you because you messed up, he's not gonna be so disappointed in you that he can't take you back.

He'll never leave you, he'll never forsake you.

He won't even change, Scripture says.

He's gonna be the same yesterday, day, forever.

So if you function first in him, Matthew 6, 33 says, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all of these other things will be added unto you.

So we focused first on him before you do anything else for anyone else.

What does that mean practically, Pastor?

When you wake up, you gotta read your Bible first.

First, don't make a lunch for a kid first.

You say, well, Pastor, look, yes, you can make a lunch if you've got to, and you're you're running late.

I'm not legalistic, but you need to get in that word.

What is most prioritized for you?

Spending time with God.

Why?

Because when you then spend time with your family, you are going to be an outflow of what's going on in here.

So spend time with God before you exercise, before you eat, spend time with God.

Pray.

Spend some time in worship because what you're filling up is overflowing out of you.

Work is not more important than 35 emails from last.

They're still gonna be there.

And there's gonna be 35 more after lunch.

Your time with God practically heart, soul, spirit, strength.

Okay, God first.

And the last point is this we see the right way of reciprocation.

Let's read verse six through nine.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your hearts, and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up, bind them as a sign on your hand, and be frontlets between your eyes.

You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.

So he tells us this manner of how we should operate within those statutes and commands, what we should do with them.

And he gives us this word I brought up, reciprocation.

That word, if you look at the definition, is an act done or given for a return.

This is God's plan for a return from your investment in your family.

Reciprocation.

U.S.

News and World Report reported this, I found this week.

New York executive search in a study of 1,365 corporate vice presidents.

This was the discovery.

87% were married to their one and only spouse, and 92% of these executives were raised in a two-parent family.

The evidence was overwhelming that the family is the strength foundation of our society.

So it matters the way that you live within your family.

Letter A is this Family is constituted by marriage.

Alright, I want you to turn to Genesis chapter 2 for a second.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

All the way back at the beginning of things, we see God's plan.

Genesis 2, verse 18.

Genesis 2:18

And the Lord God said, It is not good.

All the men say, Amen, that man should be alone.

I will make him a helper comparable to him.

He says, It's not good for a man to be alone.

This statement had more to do with God's plan for humanity than Adam's neediness.

This was God's plan for relationship.

God created us as communal beings because we are in his image.

And God exists within a relationship, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

So as his image bears, he was creating something like himself.

And in Genesis 2, he saw that it was incomplete without a companion.

And so he brought companionship.

I want you to know today, you need companionship.

You were not created on this earth for isolation.

That was not God's plan for you.

And I'm going to tread lightly here, but the concept of I'm a loner or I'm an introvert borders some scriptural fallacy.

First of all, no one here is an introvert or an extrovert.

You're a human.

Now you have some tendencies, and we have some personal.

Personality things that come up, but as far as a person, God made you for a relationship.

But we talk about things in a way today that makes them define who we are.

And we begin to believe the things that we talk about.

We were all created to relate.

And if we try to hide in solitude, I believe we're missing something that was a part of God's plan all the way back in Eden with Adam and Eve.

Look back at verse 21 through 25 in chapter 2.

What happened in Genesis?

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh.

Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man.

Adam said, This now is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father, a mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This verse here confirms something.

Man, I think you'll like this.

It confirms we all need a nap sometimes.

Amen, men.

God put Adam down for a nap.

Do I have any nap people here?

Like it was a hard school week, even teens.

Like, okay, y'all getting ready for college.

That's important.

My dad liked to nap.

My dad had a reclining chair.

And when my dad was napping, it was my favorite time to mess with him.

And so my dad would take a nap, and uh my grandmother was a smoker, so my dad would take a nap and I'd grab a cigarette, stick it in his hand, sometimes put it on his lip.

He'd be sleeping.

One Thanksgiving, my dad was asleep.

And I'd never done this before, but my mom had me dealing with the turkey.

And I don't know if you haven't done that, that's not a pleasant experience, but she told me to put my hand in the thing and pull out what was in there.

So I did, and it was cold and weird, and I felt like, you know, giving birth or something.

I don't know what was going on.

And I pulled out what I had and it was still partly frozen.

My dad was asleep, and I was like, I know what to do with this.

And I stuck it on his chest and he slept there for a few more minutes, and when he woke up, if you could have seen his eyes, and he throws it across the room.

I don't know what he thought it was.

If his chest was coming outside of its cavity, it was awesome.

Adam went down for a nap.

This is what's funny.

Adam went down for a nap and he woke up, and Adam dipped slightly to the right after that.

Adam had a new limp because he was missing.

Adam woke up, and then he looked over with that limp.

Best moment of his life.

He said, I've seen the rest of it.

Model woman! Wow, God! Adam never had a problem being in awe again.

He saw all the other things, but he saw Eve, and he said, This is the best evening in history.

Dad joke there, thank you.

Had to throw it in.

But verse 24, this is where it is.

It says, Therefore a man shall leave his mother, his father and mother, and be joined one flesh.

Marriage was God's plan from Genesis.

It was this union that would show his love for the church.

And don't get this twisted.

Let me tell you what scripture said there.

Hear me, church.

He said, one man and one woman.

You hear me?

One man and one woman is marriage.

Your marriage matters.

And I think today we got into a place where I don't know what happened to the vows.

It's become so casual.

But in Genesis, this was a covenant promise.

Vows are a covenant.

This ring I have means something to me.

I hope that it means something to you.

And so family in the beginning there was constituted through marriage.

Well, look back in Deuteronomy verse 6 and 7.

What does he tell him?

These words which I commanded you shall be in your heart.

You shall teach them to your children and shall talk of them.

And it goes on, by the way, and all this.

Fruitfulness is commissioned by multiplication.

Teach your what?

It says, Teach your children.

So God's plan for reciprocity of the family is that we would multiply.

What are you saying, Pastor?

I have to apologize for a minute if you're single or you're a teen here, but the truth is the truth in Genesis 1 28.

God said, Be fruitful and multiply.

And so God's plan for the family is sex.

If it's awkward, I'm sorry.

Better to have an awkward conversation with a pastor than to suffer.

God intended for you to be intimate.

God, in fact, thought it up.

God created it.

In Hebrews 13, 4, it says the marriage is honorable above all, and the bed is undefiled.

This was God's plan.

God thought it up for our enjoyment within marriage.

Teens, I'm sorry.

Nope.

It's not God's plan for y'all.

Okay, it's his plan within marriage.

But I want you to know this is an important area for your marriage.

1 Corinthians 7 talks about this, and I want you to hear 7, 2 through 5.

It says, Because of immorality, because of temptation, let each man have his wife and woman her husband.

Let thy husband render affection likewise to his wife.

And then verse 5 says, Hear me, do not deprive each other.

It doesn't say maybe, or if you're angry, or it says, do not deprive one another.

Why are you saying this?

And I know that it's awkward for people, whatever.

I'm past that, but three of the biggest marital issues that come along with divorce are this.

Here's the big three.

One is communication.

Never had a woman say, my husband is just over-communicating, Pastor.

Too much.

I've had too much.

He won't shut up.

He won't stop talking to me and tell me all his feelings.

What he thinks?

Communication is number one.

So talk.

If it's awkward, I'm sorry, talk.

If it's gonna hurt their feelings, talk.

You have got to communicate.

Number two is money.

Biggest issues that rip apart marriages.

Communication talk, number three, sex.

So if the world's gonna be talking about it and shoving it down our throat in the bad ways, let me tell you in church, it was meant to happen in your marriage.

I like what Pastor Ed Young did in Great Vine, Texas.

This is what he said about it.

He said sex should be a nurturing and spiritual act.

He challenged his people to be intimate every night for a week, leading to the next service.

And some of you people are going like that, how?

How?

I'm so tired.

How?

Listen.

It means consideration and planning and priorities shifting.

By the way, this church came back with testimony after testimony about how good this challenge was for him.

I want you to turn to Proverbs chapter 5.

Proverbs 5 · chapter mention

Just hear me for a second and see a little more.

It is not the intention of this series to make this the main thing we're going to talk about week in, week out, but it's coming up here, and I want you to hear what God's Word has to say.

By the way, everyone here, sexual intimacy starts long before the bedroom.

When you wake up, your intimacy starts from the moment you say, Good morning, sunshine.

Or beautiful, or whatever you say, schnooky wookums.

Proverbs chapter 5.

Proverbs 5 · chapter mention

Look at what it says.

And we could go back to verse 15.

It says, drink water from your own cistern and running water from your own well.

And it's basically saying, Don't fall away from your wife.

You stay focused and fix on her.

Verse 18.

Let your fountains be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth.

I cannot even read the beginning of the next verse without turning red, so I'll let you read the beginning of verse 19.

But it ends this way, and always be enraptured with her love.

I don't know about you, but always in rapture sounds pretty cozy and a lot.

Are you with me?

That's what it sounds like to me.

And church, hear my heart.

I'm so tired of Satan getting a foothold into marriages because of an awkward conversation.

I'm tired of the statistics on pornography within marriage.

I'm tired of the statistics on infidelity because we don't want to start an awkward conversation.

Listen, you are already awkward.

Look at your neighbor and tell him, you're awkward.

Tell the other one, you're awkward too.

Please.

For your marriage, can you start the conversation?

You can blame me today on the ride home.

Blame me.

Hey, Pastor Rex said we need to have a conversation.

Here's your line.

Can we talk?

By the way, God did what he intended in this area as well.

God didn't make a mistake.

You are the you he created you to be.

Remember when I said one man, one woman, this is marriage.

God has never made a mistake.

And so when you're looking at sexuality, God created what he intended for this earth.

And you are the you he wanted you to be.

He made you on purpose with a purpose.

And the way that he wanted for reciprocation for child to be filling this earth was a natural birth with a man and a woman.

There's not another biblical formula.

Are you hearing me, church?

He doesn't make a mistake.

Last thing, letter see, is this faithfulness is cultivated through mirroring.

For a return, a reciprocation of your investment, you must be the teacher in your home.

By the way, children are not, if you're here, that's not lost on me.

We're all a teacher.

We've all been given an opportunity to teach and invest in people.

And can I get an amen to this?

It takes a village to raise a child.

We need people in our church.

I need you investing in my kids.

I need you.

And they need you.

And here's why because I can tell them something over and over and over, and it's amazing.

Another voice says the truth.

From that other voice, and they go, huh?

Well, I never thought about that.

It's because it didn't come through that voice.

It's not just dad being dad.

We need you.

So why is your time in the word so important?

It's the voice you have to mirror for the next generation.

It's so this thing reciprocates and continues.

Listen, parents, hear me.

Nothing in this world can go with you, heaven.

There's one thing you can take.

Your kids.

Nothing else on this earth will go into eternity with you, but people around you.

The thing that you're building and spending so much time on.

So he says, talk when you sit, teach, when you sit, teach.

At dinner, teach when you travel, teach at bedtime, teach at breakfast.

He says there's an importance of scripture being on your walls and on your doors and on your posts and on your person because you're teaching even when you're not even speaking, they're seeing it.

So teach.

Man, Dave said this last week, but I gotta think I only got this much time.

I got this much time with my kids.

And then they're gonna start their families.

This is what I got to pour in everything that I know is right and good.

What am I doing with my time?

What are you doing with that time?

Listen, I was thinking about this this week.

I love, I love sports.

I mean, I really love, I do.

My TV intake this week was Little League World Series.

Only thing I watched, these little kids doing amazing things.

I played three sports.

I love them.

How many of your kids, when you think about, they went to a sports camp this summer?

Probably a lot of people you get committed, and man, it's great.

It's a good babysitter too, right?

How many of your kids had practice this week?

They had a scheduled practice at least one day.

Some, maybe a lot of days, right?

Rides and money and uniforms.

It's a real big investment.

Let me ask this question.

How many of your kids went to Bible camp this summer?

How many have a scheduled Bible practice this week?

What are you talking about, Pastor?

Who's doing a Bible practice?

The church at Chelsea Westover is doing a Bible practice every Wednesday.

We call it a wana and one-way students.

We would love for your kid to make it to practice just once.

They don't have to do it every day like some other things.

How about daily practice?

What are we practicing every day?

I want to tell you something that I'm I'm not gonna get proud.

That's a wrong word.

Satan will use that.

I'm thankful every day my Bible is out on my table, and I read this book and I love this book.

And I'm thankful for what this book has meant and done in my life.

And what I'm thankful is when my kids come around to the breakfast table, I can promise you one thing, they are going to see this book.

And we went on vacation, and I love to go sit on the balcony.

I get up before I can't even, I can't even not.

I just wake up, everybody's sleep, people sleep for four more hours.

I'm up, I'm reading God's word, and I'm listening to worship, and I'm sitting out there, and let me tell you something that I loved seeing on vacation.

Callie brought her Bible too.

And I went out there on the porch on day two, and from day two on, I saw my little girl practicing.

Not because I'm good, but what I have tried to teach.

And every day I seen that Bible open, and I saw her trying to read her Bible.

It did something in her life.

That is reciprocation.

It's a return on my investment, it's the best return that I can have this side of heaven.

One day I have high hopes that these kids will live for Jesus Christ.

Heather and I are mirroring.

And what they are watching every day, I hope we'll be caught.

Some of it I hope doesn't.

I'm just being real.

But listen to me, church.

The person you're impacting, it could be just spouse, maybe you don't have kids.

I can promise you, somebody's watching your life.

If they do not see you reading and they do not hear you praying, if you're not talking to them about reading and praying, you are showing them, in fact, what is most significant to you.

You're showing them what your eyes are fixed on.

They are going to live out what is most significant.

This is a reading I took from this week, and I wanted to read it to you in closing.

There's a minister from uh over a hundred years ago that used to tell this story.

He saw two paddle boats that left Memphis.

About the same time, they began traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans.

As they traveled side by side, sailors from one of the vessels made some remarks about the snail's pace of the other boat.

Words were exchanged and challenges were made.

And the race began.

Competition to become victorious.

Well, as it continued on, one boat began to fall behind because they did not have enough fuel.

There had been plenty of coal for a trip, but not enough for a race.

As the boat dropped back, a young sailor took to the ship's cargo, went down, and began to toss cargo into the ovens of the boat.

The sailors saw something amazing happen.

The supplies burned as well as the coal, allowing them to fuel their boat.

What they had been throwing in was the material that they were supposed to be transporting to the next destination.

Well, they won the race, but they burned all the cargo.

God has entrusted cargo to us.

Children and spouses and friendships, and our job on this earth is to do our part and see into it that our cargo reaches its destination.

What happens too many times is the program takes priority over the people, and people suffer.

How much cargo do we have to sacrifice to achieve the number one slot in life?