The Role of the Wife

If you get your Bibles out this morning, you turn to Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

And I wanted to update you and thank you for some prayers this week.

And Heather and I got to take the family down to Knoxville and celebrate the homegoing of her Pat Paul, Joe Martin.

And it was a glorious celebration, let me tell you.

And that's what it is when a saint who knows the Lord goes on to be with the Lord.

I told y'all last week he wrote a book, and I had forgot to bring it, so I wanted to show you.

This is quite an accomplishment, 40 years in bus ministry.

And so he loved children, probably the largest funeral I've ever been to.

And here's what you know I took from it, and I've known him as her grandfather, but this was a faithful, humble custodian.

And there was over a thousand people at his funeral.

Because over 40 years he touched the lives of people by serving humbly.

And one sweet story that I'll share, there was a young lady there who came up to sing a special song for me.

She couldn't get through the song.

It was Beulaland, sweet song about heaven.

And she got choked up.

And then later, the pastor who was overseeing the funeral had her come back up and share a little bit of her story.

And she shared, she said, Joe Martin came to my house Saturday after Saturday.

I was six years old.

She was in her late 20s when, you know, singing at this funeral.

And as a six-year-old, she said, he just kept coming.

He said, those people were annoying.

The church people kept coming.

And it had an impact on her and her whole family ended up coming to church, coming to know the Lord.

And so it was very, very sweet.

But thank you for your prayers on that.

Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

I have one more need that I have to ask the church.

We have our missions coordinator here, and she kind of stumbled in.

If you saw her, um Deidre had hip replacement surgery.

She has a need.

If anybody here has a stationary bike that can be borrowed, that's part of her therapy needs.

Please see me out in the lobby.

Or if you see her, let her know.

And we want to get that need so she can get back and get rolling again.

But Proverbs 18, 22 says this, men, he who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Can I get an amen?

Amen.

Seventeen years ago, yesterday, at Tyner Methodist Church, the most beautiful bride a person could ever see came walking down an aisle towards me.

Can you believe that?

And we gave our vows and we meant them.

It's been richer and it's been poorer.

There's been sickness, there's been health.

There's been better and there's been worse.

There's been ministry mountains and certainly been valleys.

But I thank God for my wife.

And so, 17 years of marriage, we celebrated yesterday, so I'm so thankful for that.

Amen.

That being said, I feel like I have a sort of daunting task before me.

Uh, never have I preached a sermon to wives, is one part.

Um, and with yesterday being my anniversary to my wife, is another part.

I will tell you, men, there's a reason why last week I spoke through chronology in the scripture, wives come first here, but I spoke to the men first.

Are you with me, men?

Do you understand what I'm getting at?

Okay, and so uh I better not mess up, right, babe?

She told me.

I better not.

And here's the deal: if I do mess up, there's a lady in the back and her husband, they have been married yesterday.

67 years.

Y'all give a hand for Milt and Nelly.

Back in the back.

I told Nellie, look, I'm gonna give them the scripture and then tell them, if you need anything else, ask Nellie.

She knows.

All right, 67 years a wife.

I'm gonna try my best, but uh anyhow, praise the Lord.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Let me pray.

Father, we love you.

And uh, Lord, we just pray as we endeavor to dig out truth in your word, that you would speak from it.

Move us and our agendas and all we brought in.

God, all the things of this week, Lord, this month, just let them be set aside for a few moments so that you can speak to our hearts.

Lord, clear our minds of everything, Lord.

I pray that you will rebuke any work of Satan.

God, that your Holy Spirit would have free reign in this service, and you teach us.

Lord, we love you and we thank you.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.

In Ephesians chapter 5, we're gonna read verse 21 and 22 as we start.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

And the first uh point this morning is this the bride, not a housewife, but a help meet.

It says this, Ephesians 5, 21, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

And so what I said here, no wife married a house.

Can I get an amen from the ladies?

You didn't marry a house.

The term housewife is not my favorite term.

I think homemaker is a little better.

Kind of sounds like you're in a factory.

Um, but uh scripture in Titus talks about a homemaker.

But I know this for me and my wife, we're a team.

Um, Heather, as my wife, is my partner in ministry and has everything but written a sermon in help to me in ministry.

We're a team.

Uh in fact, upon completion of my master's degree, I received all A's and Heather received one.

Just so everybody knows, we're clear when you see that degree.

Uh on the writing, um, Heather had to help me quite a bit.

And so we're partners.

Uh, she helps me.

She married me, not a house.

And I help her.

Um, I remember there was a time uh early on that she was starting to get interested in doing some work, sort of something on the side, and she brought it up to me.

And I'm gonna tell you, I was very skeptical because ministry takes a lot of your life and time and flexibility.

And like for me, I always want to leave room for that gap, the air, just in case time.

And we have kids, and so she said, What do you think about me um starting to sell pampered chef?

And I'm like, Oh no.

Selling stuff like it's always a gimmick or something.

And she tells me, You gotta buy in.

I'm like, You gotta pay to get paid.

And I'm like, Well, anyway, her brother put up the money to, you know, get us in, and she she had the first show, and I'm skeptical the whole time.

Well, how's this gonna take our time?

What about ministry time, people's needs?

How's this gonna play in?

And we did that first show, she did the first show, and she came home and she told me I had a great show, and I said, Well, what does that mean?

She said, I sold over this amount.

Well, what does that mean?

We get$200.

I said, When's the next show?

What do you need me to do?

How can I help?

I will definitely be the paperwork man, and seriously, I did anything she needed.

She would have cooking displays, and I'm like, What do you need me to do?

Well, how can we get this ready?

We help.

We help.

And so uh when I think about uh the terms for a wife, my favorite in scripture, and I think the one that we need to hear is the bride.

The bride is the best and greatest symbol.

It is.

In fact, what scripture is trying to get across to us is we are the espoused bride of Christ.

The word bride, we are the espoused, the engaged bride of Christ, the glorious bridegroom that is coming again.

And so, no wife married a house.

It says there in verse 22, wives submit.

Let's look at that word.

Submit.

The Greek word is hopataso, and hopatasso means to make one underneath.

In other words, it means to be led.

Now it's different from the word humble.

In Philippians 2, we see that Jesus left heaven's glory, humbled himself, and became obedient to the death even unto the cross.

It says he humbled himself, a different word, close, but different to me.

It says he lowered his heavenly rank to come to earth and become a man.

He became different in ranking.

And I want you to understand, to be in submission does not mean that a woman lowers her rank.

It's a conscious choice of the will to be in submission.

It means she gives over her will.

Now it takes humility, and ladies, today, this is a vital responsibility in marriage.

Your submission, like our sacrificial love, I said this to the men last week, you have to be willing to die, and she has to be willing to give over her will.

And like that love, it's the key to success in marriage.

Now, verse 21, it was important that I read that because it was a reminder.

It says, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

And the point here was that all Holy Spirit-filled people are submissive.

It's not just saying, okay, ladies, you just submit to your husband and that's it.

It says every Christian should make the conscious choice so that they're preferring others above themselves to submit, to be submissive people.

This is in the book of Ephesians.

He's speaking to a church and he's saying, everyone needs to have this.

Well, there's a reason we have such an issue with it today, right?

There's a reason we have such an issue with submission, it's because the self-esteem psychology has sowed seeds into the minds of every person, and it's harvesting the fruit of a pride-filled generation.

We are pride-filled people.

And so we see that because of what we're told, you have to have a healthy self-esteem.

It's overwhelming the pride.

The domination that we see in our nation is a domination of oneself and one's plans.

We are taught to have pride.

And Scripture says pride comes before destruction.

We're by and large taught against self-submission.

Self-esteem, listen to me, church, is not the answer.

Here's the answer.

For you and I to have a healthy God esteem, it means that we think of God with an appropriate thought of who he is and the awe of who he is, the reverence of who God is, and so understanding underneath of him, submitted to him who I am and how I am created in Psalms 139.

It says that he had a plan for my life before I was born.

He was knitting me together with a purpose.

And so under him, there is a plan, and I understand my image.

I'm an image-bearer of a king.

And so that's so totally different than me just laying down, throwing up the white flag and saying, I give up, I will not do anything good with my human life.

It's yours.

But that's the way that we're painted to in society, as if submission to something is just giving up.

It's not giving up, it's falling under the authority of a great king.

Do you understand the image-bearer that you are?

Your identity in Christ.

Scripture says wives are to submit.

Submission as every Christian is to hoop a tasso.

That means we give ourselves under so as to prefer others.

But here particularly, wives.

And so, not married to a house, but let her be every wife married to help.

I want you to turn to Genesis chapter 2.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

And I want you to look with me all the way back to the beginning.

Genesis 2.

I want you to look at verse 18 and see what we're told here.

This is interesting.

We're going to go back to chapter 1 also, so be ready to turn back a page or two.

And it says this, that it is, and the Lord God said, It is.

What's that word next?

It is not good that a man should be alone.

I will make him a helper comparable to him.

Not good.

That word is Tob, and that means beneficial or prosperous.

It is not beneficial or prosperous for a man to be alone.

Now I want you to go over to Genesis chapter 1.

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

This is for some context here.

And we're going to look at a few different verses.

And I'm just going to jump quickly through them and hear this.

Verse 10 of Genesis 1.

And God called the dry land earth, and the gathering together the waters, he called seas, and God saw that it was good.

Verse 12.

And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its kind, the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is according to its kind.

And God saw that it was good.

Verse 18, and to the rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from darkness, and God saw that it was.

Y'all getting a theme here?

Look at verse 21.

Look at what it says.

So God created great sea creatures, every living thing that moves, with the waters abound according to their kind, and every winged bird according to its kind.

And God saw that it was good.

If you go on to verse 31, then God saw everything that he made, and indeed, he said, It was very good.

He said, It was good, it was good, it was good.

He saw all that he was good, and it seems like for the first time in creation, in Genesis chapter 2, like there was a glitch.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

In the creative processes, he said, It was good, and that was good, and man and woman, that was very good, and this is good.

And he goes, wait up, the record rips.

Hold on.

He says in verse 18 of chapter 2, it is not good.

Don't miss the weight of relationships and the history of the creative process.

He said, Oh, this is good, good, good.

Wait a minute.

Hold on just a second.

Man should not be alone.

Somebody here this morning needs to hear this.

It's not good for man, it's not good for woman to be alone.

We should not be alone.

In fact, Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verse 9 and 10 says, Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.

Ecclesiastes 4:9

If either falls down, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them.

So I got a word today for single folks here.

Get married.

Many here are passionately pursuing a career.

Maybe you need to ramp up the passionate pursuit for a single person.

Some people, some people are called in the New Testament, like Paul, to an amazing ministry of singleness.

And I get that.

But if you're not called, let me repeat my word, get married.

It's God's plan.

This is what you need to do: brush your teeth, comb your hair, smell nice, and look for single people in church activities.

Y'all hearing me?

Match.com, farmers.com, you mingle, Facebook, Google, I try them all.

Get married.

That's God's plan.

He does not want you alone, and it's his plan for the furtherance of the church and the gospel.

It's his picture of the bride of Christ and the bridegroom.

So don't waste time.

You're not meant to be alone.

And we have some examples in Scripture of Jesus being isolated and isolation.

Number one, was you remember how Jesus handled the leper?

People sent lepers outside of the village once they found out that they were unclean, and you had to yell everywhere you went, unclean, unclean, unclean.

And so they had their own leper colonies built up where the lepers could be there, but they could not enter into the church, could not enter into the city, and they had to yell across the street so that people would know.

And you know what happens in scripture when a leper comes to Jesus?

Says, He touched me.

He didn't have to touch him.

He could have made him whole with thought.

He could have made them whole with word, but he saw the leopard and he said, He touched me.

Someone who's been isolated.

Jesus felt the sting of isolation on the cross.

He said, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

It's not good for man to be alone, y'all.

Listen, this was awesome this week.

You're not gonna believe this.

The Hebrew word for alone.

Y'all ready for this?

If you didn't come for anything else, you came for this.

Let me tell you what how the Hebrew word for alone is spelled.

You ready?

B A D.

I'm dead serious.

The Hebrew word for alone, it's pronounced baldad, but it's bad.

To go individually is bad, to separate is bad.

You're not supposed to be alone.

It's literally bad for you, scripture tells us.

Why?

Because you need help.

Adam without Eve, God said, This is bad.

Me without Heather, God says, Oh, that's bad.

It's bad.

Look at your neighbor and say this.

Don't be bad.

Mm-hmm.

You're in church.

Don't be bad.

The word help meet here, help in Scripture says God made a help meet.

The help word is azure, and it means to surround, to be there, to protect and to aid.

Wives.

That today is what your man needs.

He needs you to be there.

If your marriage is struggling, help.

If your husband is down, help.

If he seems discouraged, help.

He needs you to surround him.

That's what God noticed in the garden at the very beginning.

He's gonna need some help.

He needs you to go to bat for him.

Listen, ladies, did you know you're his greatest encourager?

Use your words.

Sing his praises to others.

Nothing like it, I'm gonna tell you.

Look, and I'm not trying to be vain, but Heather's words matter to me.

Her words matter.

A lot of people, a lot of weeks, might say something kind about the service and preaching, but when I ride home or I get home and Heather says that I preach good, I said, it must have been good.

That's my greatest compliment.

She's my greatest smile.

If she's laughing, I know I was funny.

She's been with me 17 years.

She's heard it all.

I don't have much left.

Right?

And so I feel encouraged by her.

Be his biggest smile, ladies.

I agree a hundred percent.

America needs more men than ever to step up and speak up and stand up for truth, but I can promise you it also means this.

They need help.

I've told Heather sometimes, I just need you to put your hand in mine.

I can't tell you how her touch makes sadness go away for me.

Ladies, sometimes you just need to embrace your husband.

When I see her, my antenna goes up.

She's my help.

When I see her, I need her.

There's not too many times she doesn't walk by the kitchen, the bedroom, in church.

Sometimes I go, Oh, there she is.

I need her right now.

I need her.

I just need her.

And I don't know how to explain that, but she's my help.

And so I told the men last week when you're with your lady, hold her hand.

Open the door.

Walk her.

Hold her when she needs help.

Ladies, be held.

Grab a hold of your man.

Kiss your man.

Can I get an amen?

I got an amen from a lady.

I thought the man would.

All right.

Well, it's a help.

And here's what I know.

Sometimes the burdens feel heavy.

And sometimes pressure feels heavy.

And sometimes we don't want to admit it, but we're afraid.

And sometimes we feel inadequate.

And Satan whispers and he discourages and he says, You're not enough.

The money's not enough.

The work you're doing's not enough.

You're not enough.

You're not enough.

There's not enough.

And we get discouraged.

And let me tell you what happens.

With her hand in mine, I'm better.

And I'm stronger.

And I can promise you this with her hand in mine, I'm bolder than I'd be by myself.

Because there's things I'm not gonna let happen because that lady's by my side.

There's things that will not be said in her presence.

There's things I will not accept because I'm bold when I have something worthy of protection.

Are you with me?

So be your man's biggest help.

Secondly, this morning.

The bride is not about ranking but respect.

It's about respect.

I want you to see in verse 23 and 24.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Letter A is the person of submission, the type of person that it takes to be submitted.

Submit again means to arrange under.

It's not ranking.

We're not better or worse.

It's an arrangement.

It's a conscious giving over.

And 1 Corinthians 9, Paul said this.

Paul said, I'm a slave to everyone that some might be won.

I will submit and do anything for everyone so that Christ can be seen and that some will be won.

The Holy Spirit-filled wife is committed to submit her will to her husband who is willing to die for her.

That's what we talked about last week.

He's willing to give.

Now listen to me.

If you're not husbands doing that first part, which is key, why we talked about it last week, if you're not being the husband that is willing to give up all sacrifice, then it is hard for a wife to submit her will.

She needs to be led into the right things.

Another way to communicate submission is following her husband's daily leadership.

It's following leadership.

And listen to me, Scripture says this.

It's important that you see this.

It says submitting to her own husband.

Her own, not men, doesn't say submitting to men.

Or all men, or every man, or any man.

It says to her own husband.

That's the one she follows the lead.

There's no subservience in some other place in the workforce or somewhere else in the world.

She is only to her own husband.

How many of you like to dance?

Amen.

We're still Baptists, three of us.

Okay.

We're going to get out of that.

I promise.

I like to dance with Heather.

I'm not good at all at dancing.

We went with the young couples, I don't know, it's been a year ago or so, and uh we had a dancing class.

And uh there I was, and I made the mistake of telling the dance instructor that I was a pastor.

And so every time something happened, he was calling me out.

And here's the truth.

Leading to this event, they said, now you need to have some shoes on without rubber.

And listen, I got two kinds of shoes, church.

I got tennis shoes and I got cowboy boots in brown or black.

And both of them have rubber on them, okay?

So I'm out there trying, I'm trying to get the box.

I'm not even gonna, it would be such a joke.

You would you would never get over it, but I'm not gonna demonstrate any kind of dancing.

But this box, I mean, it's a box, and I couldn't get it.

Heather, I'm supposed to lead, and she's supposed to follow, and there's two people for this dance, and it was such a joke.

And I'm watching other people, and I'm not gonna say no names, but there were some people there, they were showing out.

Like they've been to 47 dance classes before, and they're, you know, and I'm like, look, y'all, put them on the end and put the other rookies next to me.

And so, but this is where I know what I found out about a slow dance.

One leads and one follows.

But both, hear me, both are necessary for the dance.

The motive here is that we dance together in our marriage, and what it does is it conforms us into the image of Christ.

Look at what it says there.

Wives, submit to your own husbands.

What's it say after that?

As to the world?

It says, as to the Lord.

The same word is used for submission in James 4 7, where it says, submit yourselves to God, resist the devil and he'll flee.

Arrange yourself under God.

Submit.

Scripture says you'll you'll resist the devil and he'll flee.

A Holy Spirit-filled, submitted wife helps repel Satan in your household.

Sends him running.

Submission is godly.

Now it's anti-society.

Society tells you right now, go get yours.

You do you.

You gotta get yours.

Dog eat dog.

Everybody rise to the top and forget who's behind you.

And that's what we're told in society.

But not in scripture.

It's important for you to see this in Colossians 3.18 is another version of this.

And Paul uses a couple of different words that's important for you to note.

Colossians 3.18, he says, Submit unto your own husband as is fitting.

And that word fitting means appropriate.

I'm gonna show y'all.

I wore this shirt last week, and uh I learned a new trick, okay?

I learned a trick from Iris and Miss Christie.

They were at prayer meeting, and I've lived this long of life, and I did not know that there was a proper way to shrink clothes.

Found out.

If you don't know, they said soak it in cold water, then put it in the washing machine, put it in hot water, and then put it from hot water to really hot heat, and it'll shrink it.

It worked.

It worked.

I wore it last week and it fit me.

I bought this shirt, and here's the problem, okay?

You're looking you're looking at the problem.

I'm sorry, okay.

I have what I would call a medium torso, T-Rex-ish arms, probably an extra large in some areas, medium and you know, like everything's wrong.

And then I go to buy a shirt, and so I buy an extra large because I don't want it to be too tight, and so I put it on an extra large, and it's like down here, I'm like, I can't ever wear the shirt.

And then they told me the secret, and I did it, and I wore it last week, and nobody made fun of me.

So thank you, Christian Iris.

But here's the point it fit, it just fit, and it fit right, and so what it says is when you submit into your own husband, it should be fitting, it shouldn't be hard, like something that doesn't fit, trying to throw something the wrong size with something else.

It says it's fitting, it's appropriate for you to submit to your own husband as unto the Lord.

Well, letter be is this the pathway.

Well, how do we get there?

That's the person.

How do we get there?

The pathway of submission, verse 33 of Ephesians.

I want you to look down there.

It says, Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself.

We went over that last week, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The pathway is a pathway of respect.

The word respect there is phobos, where we get the word reverence, and it means that we revere.

You cannot possibly hear me.

Submit your will over to someone that you don't respect.

So, men, again, hello.

Be a respectable man so that she can submit her will.

I found this reading this week.

Clark Clifford, he was uh under Harry Truman's presidency, and he said every morning at 8, President Truman would have a staff meeting.

And one day, the male clerk brought in a lavender envelope with a regal wax seal, purple ribbons coming off of it.

And opening the letter, the president found a letter from King Ibn Saud, and it said this.

It began, Your magnificence.

Your magnificence, Trump shouted, or Truman shouted, laughing, and he said, I like that.

He said, I don't know what you guys call me when I'm not around, but it's okay from now on if you refer to me as your magnificence.

And here's the thing the pathway that I'm talking of is out of humble respect.

Respect is a decision.

1 Peter 2.17 tells us honor men, love the brotherhood, respect, and fear the king.

In order to submit to anyone, it would be impossible if you don't respect them.

Now, again, hear me, men.

If you're not living a life, listen, publicly and privately that deserves respect, it's gonna be hard for a woman to submit.

But ladies have a choice to make.

Respect is a choice.

Have you decided that you're gonna admire the things about your husband that are admirable?

Have you decided to appreciate?

Have you decided to pray for him?

Speak honor over him.

Respect is a choice.

I want you to look with me to uh Titus chapter 2.

Titus 2 · chapter mention

I want to just see what scripture says here.

Now it's given an admonition of how uh the church is to be ordered and how um we continue this.

And so it starts out Titus chapter 2, verses 2 through 5.

Titus 2:2–5

It says, The older woman likewise, listen, that they be reverent, respectful in behavior, not slanderers.

We're gonna go through each one of these, not slanderers.

That means you don't look for opportunity to down somebody else.

The way that you live your life is above slandering, you don't lie on somebody else.

I'm gonna throw in one in here that's not here, but it's a good place for it.

Don't gossip.

Not giving to much wine.

It says, teacher of good things.

They that listen, they that admonish, they reteach.

So if you say, I'm not married here, listen to me what scripture says.

Then you should be admonishing the young women.

It says, reteach, teach us again to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet and chaste.

That means pure, not immoral.

Homemakers, there's that word I talked about.

Okay, and good, obedient to their husbands.

The word again is submission.

And so we see this choice, and what we're told in scripture is that to continue the body of Christ and for the family, that we, the pathway is out of respect.

And the third thing this morning is this the bride is the picture of the church.

Why don't you see here the picture of the church?

Look at verse 32 in Ephesians 5.

This is the great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Christ and the church, the church is the ecclesia.

The way that you take on your role as a wife is an example to the world of what the church, the bride, should be like for the coming Jesus.

The way that the church should be like.

I remember it being very frustrating.

I just finished reading through Chronicles.

And there's a good king, and then there's a bad king, and then Israel does good, and then there's a bad king, and there's another bad king, and then there's another good king, and then there's three bad kings, and on and on it goes, and how frustrating it was watching God's people, because sometimes it was good, and the picture was easy, it seems.

Follow God, be faithful to God, be a picture of following God.

And I want you to understand for your children and your grandchildren and your neighborhood kids and people around you, you're painting a picture for your workforce, you're painting a picture.

What picture is your marriage painting?

You're painting a picture of the ready bride for her groom.

Do you look like a person who's ready for the appearing of Jesus?

Is that the kind of life you're living?

What do your sons and daughters say, ladies, about how you love their father?

Man, what do your sons and daughters see about how you love their mother?

You're painting a picture of the church to them.

You are a portrait every day in just the way that you act.

Pastor Dave came up and said some things about opportunities and the things that are happening before your kids.

You're painting a picture of the church.

The church should be two things, and we'll be finished.

Letter A the bride, the church should be vacant of all worldliness.

If you can, I want you to turn with me over to Revelations, and I want you to see a few pictures in Scripture and some admonitions to the churches.

The Spirit appears in Revelation with very specific messages to the churches.

And I'm taking a little bit of liberty here.

I want you to understand there's one meaning in Scripture, and there's a meaning for the context.

There's several applications, so I'm gonna take these applications today.

Um, if the wife is a picture of the church in this relationship, and we, the husbands, the picture of Christ, I think there's some things that we need to apply.

Revelations chapter 2, and I want you to see verse 2 through 5.

Revelation 2 · chapter mention

It says, I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil.

And you've tested those who say they're apostles and are not, and have found them liars, and you've persevered.

And you're like women, right now, you're like, this is me.

It's all me.

This is uh this is my I've labored and on and on, and I know let me tell you, ladies, I know that you do so much, and it says, and you've labored for my name's sake and have not become weary.

Listen to this, nevertheless, I have this against you.

You have left your first love.

Left your first love.

The picture of the relationship there is this, and this is the admonition.

Hear me, men and women, love Jesus more than anything.

Love him more than anything, anything on earth, any purpose, any goal, any treasure.

He says, love Jesus more.

He said, You could be so busy.

And you can be trying to point your children to Christ, and you can be busy in ministry and you forget the personal love, the day-to-day love.

And he says, Love Jesus more than anything.

To be vacant of all worldliness, to be a picture to everyone.

Listen, nobody's getting an award for burning the candle out, working so much, and working 60, 70, 90 hours a week.

Nobody's getting an award for that.

But you know what?

You get trophies to lay down one day for loving Jesus.

So he says, Love him more than anything.

Secondly, look at Romans or Revelation 2, 14 and 15.

I have a few things against you because you have there those who hold the doctrine of Balaam who taught Balak to put a stumbling box before the children of Israel to eat the things sacrificed to idols and to commit sexual immorality.

And so the second point is this to be vacant of all worldliness, you have to separate yourselves from sin.

They were taught something, and yet they were listening to something else.

They had not been listening for what they taught.

Why?

Because they were trying to blend in.

Hear me, ladies.

They were trying to blend in with society, they were chameleonizing themselves to the world.

The Bible says, do not love the world, neither the things that are in the world, those that love the world, the love of the Father is not in them.

And so we don't need to keep up with the Joneses.

That pressure's off.

We love him.

We don't have to be like her.

We don't have to be like that lady down the street.

We don't have to be like the one with the brand new car.

We don't have to keep up.

And he says, so separate yourself.

They were falling into sin, even though they'd been taught.

Revelations 3:1 talks about uh they appeared to be something, but they were actually dead.

Revelation 3:1

And what it's saying there is to be this type of picture is we have to overflow with the Holy Spirit.

You can be full of works, but still be dead.

How does that happen?

You can be so busy and not be tending to this heart, and so you fill with the Holy Spirit daily.

What you're feeling full of will overflow out of you.

And so, yeah, you should be singing songs, you should be learning scripture, you should be in Bible studies because what's going to come out to your children naturally is what you're doing.

You should be serving.

There's plenty of scripture on the fruit and being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5.16, John 7.

But the last one I want you to look at is Revelation 3.

Look at Revelation 3.15.

And you know it.

You know the story if you've been around church, but it says this, I know your works.

You're neither cold nor hot.

I wish you were cold or hot.

So then, because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.

This is what Scripture says.

Listen, literally, it says, ladies, God wants you to be hot.

Y'all hear me?

Scripture says, be hot.

Y'all can go out here and say, the pastor said, I am to be hot, honey.

Scripture says it.

It's biblical.

He says, be hot.

I don't even like to hear the part where he says be cold.

It's not an admonition, but he says, don't be warm, don't be nothing, don't be apathetic, don't be boring about it.

Love Jesus Christ.

That's how we're vacant of worldliness.

That's how this picture goes forth.

One more verse and one more point.

I want you to turn to 2 Timothy chapter 2.

2 Timothy 2 · chapter mention

That was vacant of all worldliness and last is virtuous in her way.

You heard this.

Miss Susan came on Mother's Day and spoke about the virtuous woman from Proverbs 31.

I would not dare to go through that list with you ladies.

This is hard enough.

It seems impossible if you ask me, the virtuous woman.

So everything, even that I'm saying to you today, seems very difficult.

And I want you to understand that, and I'm getting ready to talk about it.

What I'm saying is not an easy thing.

It's not an easy road.

Listen to 2 Timothy 2, 20 through 22.

It says, Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also wood, clay, and stubble, some honorable and some dishonorable.

Verse 21.

Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself of what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use.

Listen to this, set apart as holy and useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

And the picture that I present to my Savior, I hope that in some way this is what I can be.

I'm a vessel.

I'm a vessel that's empty and clean.

And when God sees me every day, he says, there's a usable peace.

And ladies, this is the picture here to be virtuous.

It's a vessel for honor.

It says sanctified and useful for the master.

The word virtuous is the word keul and it is to twist.

Keul, the virtuous woman is to twist and to writhe and to travail.

In Joshua, it's used over and over to describe his military men.

Same word in Joshua is valor.

Valor and virtue.

What does that mean?

How many people here today were in the military?

Raise your hand up if you've been in the military.

Okay.

Very good.

Thank you.

In the military, did you go through travail?

Did you go through struggles?

Here's what was happening.

They were twisting your will.

And so in boot camp, they began the second you get off the bus to begin to twist your will to theirs.

And so you begin immediately saying, Yes, drill sergeant.

And then you go from there, and they physically and mentally are trying to twist your will.

Why?

So that they can gain allegiance, physical and mental travail.

They're twisting and pulling at you.

Yesterday, I twisted my knee for no reason.

Other than I guess I'm 40.

And that can happen.

I don't know.

I was putting clothes into my dresser, twisted, and here's what I found out pretty quickly.

Whatever that knee wanted to do after that, that's what I was on board for.

I didn't twist again like that.

If it told me to limp, guess what?

I limped for a little while.

It told me for a little bit to put ice on it.

I said, Yes, sir.

It told me to sit down.

I said, You got it.

It told me all kinds of things, and I can promise you this, because I twisted it and it felt a certain kind of way, I didn't want it to keep feeling that way, so it got me under its will.

I was aligned with the needs.

It was my dad's joke of the week.

Of my knee.

I didn't go any direction it didn't want to go.

Listen to me, the woman of virtue is not walking an easy path.

Her way is a war against her own will.

It's twisting and writhing, travailing against the flesh.

To submit to your husband and lay down your will, listen, it's not an easy path.

Now, man, if we are Loving and sacrificing, this should they should be able to, and I praise God.

We talked about this in Connect Group for a minute last week.

And when I met Heather, Heather was guarded, suspicious of males, determined, had goals, and she knew what she wanted.

And then I was that was amazing.

And she told me there was a point, and I can remember back going through premarital counseling before we got married.

And one of the things I said is she's she's a person who's so determined that it can almost feel like there's not gonna be another say.

And I had learned through our relationship and things, that that was an offense.

And she told us in group the other week, I was so relieved to be able to trust a man.

It was easy to give over my will when I could trust a man.

It wasn't hard.

I had to do what I had to do to get through.

But when I knew somebody would sacrifice and love me, it wasn't hard anymore.

And that's what it should be like.

Man, if we're sacrificing.

And ladies, it should be that easy if he's willing to love you that way that you submit.

Hear me, the flesh and the Holy Spirit are at war.

As soon as you hit the floor in the morning, they're at war.

This flesh, look, now you can become more and more holy because you fill more and more up.

But if you don't fill more and more up, you stay more and more flesh.

And so the tug of war hits when your feet hit the floor out of the bed every morning.

And the flesh goes, Well, this is what you need, and this is what you should say, and you have the right to be angry, and you should get bitter, and the spirit goes, Well, wait a second.

And so you got this going on when your feet hit the floor, and whichever one you fill, and the one that you starve tells how the battle goes.

So my question this morning is this what are you submitted to?

To submit to Jesus, it means that you lay down your will.

This is the difference for lost people.

There's many people in Scripture, many people of Scripture says that believe.

They believe in Jesus Christ.

The demons in Scripture said they believe and they tremble.

But you know what the demons don't do?

They do not lay down their will.

We're a picture of the church and what it's supposed to be, the saved individual.

And so you are travailing at that will.

And the virtuous woman says, God, here it is.

God first, loving husband, here it is.

Important note: if you're living for God and your husband's leadership is not godly, hear me.

You don't follow him into sin.

I'm not saying that.

If your husband is living for the world, living for so, and not sack if you fell into a marriage in that way, you got married, and one of you got saved later, however, that happens.

Listen, you follow no man into ungodliness, you follow no government into ungodliness.

You follow God first.

And then Scripture tells ladies that are in that position, this, to be an example.

Let your godliness be an example.

It is possible that that man may be one to Christ because of your godly humbleness.

Now, is it easy?

A saved person in Corinthians hear me, teens, be not unequally yoked to an unbeliever.

If you get in a situation and you feel like that's gonna work out, scripture tells us, don't.

Do not, it doesn't say think about it, it doesn't say date them and try to win them to Christ.

It says, do not with an unbeliever.

It is hard.

But they may, it's possible that they could be one to Christ by your example.

But no authority supersedes God's in your life.

The virtuous woman is a vessel for honor and a beautiful representation of humility and gentleness and kindness.

By the way, all of us, church, men, women, and children, are supposed to be a picture for our coming Christ.

I was listening this morning to a song, and I'm about done.

There's a song, How Beautiful.

Jamie Randolph sang it a few years ago.

How beautiful is the body of Christ.

This picture that we are, and it says, here's a line from it, and as he laid down his life, theme we've been talking about, as he laid down his life, we offer this sacrifice that we live just as he died, willing to pay the price.

Are you willing, church?

Wives, are you willing to show the world Jesus Christ?