Hot Seat Part 4 | Grief and Suffering? with Rudy & The Aiden Matthew Ripple Effect Foundation

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We hope this message encourages you, challenges

you, and reminds you that you are deeply loved.

Now, let's hear the message. How you guys doing

today? Are you ready? For those of you who thought

it'd be Chris again this week, sorry about your

luck. You're stuck with me. They are home, they're

rested up, and at some point this week they'll

start working again. Although I think Chris worked

the whole three weeks he was off. If this is

your first time here, man, I'm so glad to have

you here. If you've been here a million times,

Welcome back. Let me start by just shouting out

a couple people. Stephen did a message two weeks

ago, and he knocked it out of the park. Just

talking about disabilities and how we all have

purpose in our disabilities, it's no wonder our

youth love him as much as they do. And then last

week, of course, Rhett and Carl, when Carrie

and I walked out the door, I was like, man, wasn't

that a good message? And she was like, What'd

you expect? It was written Carl. So today I'm

going to up the ante a little bit. I'm going

to answer like 15 of your questions. So we got

to get moving, right? But if this is the first

time you choose to be here, I'm going to apologize

for this next sentence, okay? In all seriousness,

we're going to have a little bit of fun, but

later in the message, some of the answers to

the questions that were asked. are going to get

a little deep. So there may be some triggering.

And if you feel triggered by anything that we

talk about and you need to step out into the

cafe, there are people out there that can pray

for you. I want you to understand when we answer

the question, why God, why, that we don't always

like the answers. So just keep that in mind.

I will not hold it against you. But hopefully

it will also make you laugh and just engage you

in a message. That said, if we're going to go

that deep, we should probably invite the man

to do it with us. Come Holy Spirit. God, let

me just start by saying thank you for our students

and our teachers. I just pray for each and every

staff member in this county. I pray for each

and every student in this county. God, make connections

between students and teachers. God, I pray for

our athletes and their coaches. I pray for our

musicians and the artists and the music directors

in this county. That they can go out and just

perform and continue to learn and grow. God,

I just thank you for each and every staff member.

Whether they're at CES or they're cleaning up

trash after our kids, guys. I just ask you to

bless them with a good year. And for those...

People in here that have a knucklehead 13 -year

-old God, help the parents make it through. But

God, I ask that you just take this next hour

of time and just truly touch hearts. Penetrate

on these tough topics that we're about to walk

through. And give us grace and mercy. But let

us remember. That you've made promises and we

can lean on those promises. I say that in the

name of Jesus. Amen. All right. So, there's going

to be a teaching lesson. You're going to ask

questions, I'm going to answer. Hopefully, unlike

my math students, you'd listen to my answer.

So, I thought I had this queued up. I want to

start with this first question that was submitted.

Because I believe this, the answer sets up the

whole rest of the discussion. And the question

was this. How did Lucifer and the falling angel

sin and fall from glory when there's no sin in

heaven? Good one, right? So let me take you right

to Job 38. God's talking to Job and he says this

to Job. Where were you, Job, when I laid the

foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have

understanding. I want to pause there because

this is just a reminder to you and me that we're

not always going to have full understanding.

We're not always going to understand God's way.

And sadly, we won't always have all the answers.

Continuing in verse 5, God says, but wait, Job,

who determined the universe measurements? Surely

you know. Or who stretched the line upon it?

On what worse basis sunk? Or who laid its cornerstone?

When the morning stars sang together and the

sons of God shouted for joy. Now, a couple of

Hebrew phrases in there that I want to talk about.

Boker kob kob. Sure, I butchered it. That means,

translates directly into the morning stars. Which

you just heard. And then the other phrase is

Ben Elohim. Which generally just means the sons

of God. So in Old Testament times, those words

referred to the angels. Right? The angels were

created by God. And they celebrated God. We know.

So they obviously were here created before the

beginning of creation. Okay? Their whole purpose.

was to celebrate and worship and praise God's

name. But then in Isaiah 14, we read this of

Satan. Verse 12 says, How are you fallen from

heaven, O day star, son of God, son of dawn?

How are you cut down to the ground, you who laid

the nations low? You said in your heart, I will

ascend to heaven above the stars of God. At some

point before the garden, Lucifer fell from grace.

Why? Because angels, like humans, were all given

free will. We were given gifts and talents, and

God allows us to use those as we choose. Lucifer

himself was given gifts. He was the most beautiful

angel. He was the leader of the heavenly worship

team. God didn't tell him how to worship. He

just gave him the ability to worship. So in Ezekiel

28 and verse 12, this is what we read. You were

the model of perfection, full of wisdom and exquisite

in beauty. You who were in Eden, the garden of

God. Your clothing was adorned with every precious

stone. And then it lists everyone, and I'm not

going to list them. All those stones were beautifully

crafted for you and set in the finest gold. They

were given to you on the day you were created.

Now this describes the king of Tyre, but many

theologians believe that it also alludes to Lucifer.

The name Lucifer literally translates to light

bearer because Lucifer was meant to be the light

of God. But then, in verse 17, we read about

Lucifer's fall from grace. which is the same

word in Hebrew, means accuser or adversary. Lucifer

was stripped of his identity and became Satan,

the adversary. Now, here's the answer to that

question. Satan rebelled in what we might call

the heavenly realm, the spiritual dimension where

the angelic beings exist, operate. That wasn't

in the perfected eternal kingdom promised to

you and I as believers in Christ, where we will

live in our resurrected bodies. In eternity,

those of us who have pledged our allegiance to

God by being sworn believers in his son Jesus

will be in paradise. Now, we are sinless now.

Because of the work of Christ on the cross. Meaning

we're covered by his blood for all of our transgressions.

When we are there, the seal is complete. Then

there will be no more sin. Which leads me to

my first point. God gave all of creation free

will. Every one of us gets free will. Romans

6, starting in verse 20. For when you were slaves

of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.

But what fruit were you getting at that time

from the things of which you are now ashamed?

For the end of those things is death. But now

that you have been set free from sin and have

become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads

to sanctification and it's sin which is eternal

life. For the wages of sin is death, but the

free gift of God is eternal life. We are free

in regard to our righteousness. An eternal life

is a free gift from God. We have the free will

to accept it or reject it. So then there were

two questions that ask about free will. Why,

God, would you give us free will if you truly

love all of your children? I have a son. My son

loves me because he wants. to love me. He doesn't

love me because he needs to love me. Trust me,

if you have a teenager, you get that. So here's

my question for you. Would you rather someone,

your kids, your spouse, your friends or family,

would you rather they love you because they have

to or because they want to? Now, I would choose

free will every time. Because I would rather

do what I want, when I want. There's like one

person laughing, so it's just me and you, sorry.

Now that I know Jesus, what I want lines up with

what Jesus desires for my life. So in eternity,

our free will will completely match God's free

will for us. perfect will for us and we'll be

returned to the perfect state what God intended

for in the Garden of Eden. Which leads us to

another question. God, knowing how the world

is, would you do it all again? Would you sacrifice

your son? The answer to that, God already knew

what the world would become. He already knew

what we would do. He knew you would put the bottle

before him. He knew I would lust after women

and covet my neighbor. He is omniscient. He has

foreknowledge. He knew Adam and Eve would eat

the fruit before he even created the fruit. So

the answer to that question, would you do it

all again, God? Actually, that's why. He sacrificed

his son because he already knew. Now, I started

with those couple of questions because they lead

us to the next question, or really the next 15

questions. So, 10 questions. So, when I said

I have 15, I kind of cheated because 10 of them

I'm going to answer together. Why do bad things

happen to good people? Why do people suffer from

pain and loss or total tragedies when they know,

love, and obey you? Why didn't you answer my

prayers when I needed you most? See, those three

and the other seven all ask something very similar.

Why me, God? Why me? But the answer to that comes

from the original question. All the suffering

is traced back to one thing. Adam and Eve? Maybe.

But even before that, it ultimately stems from

the fall of Satan. Which leads us to point two.

Satan is the temporal ruler of this world. Upon

taking a bite of the forbidden fruit, Adam and

Eve forfeited their God -given stewardship of

this world over to Satan, thanks to their disobedience.

Then a few millennia later, this is what we read

of Satan's power. Luke 4. And the devil took

him, Jesus, up and showed him all the kingdoms

of the world in a moment's time. And said to

him, I will give you all of this authority and

their glory, for it has been delivered to me.

And I give it to whom I will. If you then will

worship me, it will all be yours. The enemy is

trying to exert his power over Jesus. But understand,

any power that the enemy has is not absolute.

And it's nowhere equal to the power that God

has and Jesus has. His power is not full. It

only lasted until Jesus took it back. See, God

lives and exists in an eternal state. Jesus reigns.

and that eternal kingdom. But we, you and I,

live in this temporal state. So remember last

week when Carl mentioned the already not yet.

See, the now not yet, it can be very abstract.

But it means we can experience heaven on earth,

but the enemy is still fighting. He has already

lost the war. Jesus has already defeated him.

But the enemy is still battling to steal our

eternity and our identity every single day. We

see more evidence of that in 2 Corinthians. Paul

tells the Corinthians, in their case, the God

of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers

to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel

of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

The bad things happen because the enemy roars

like a lion. But remember, like a lion isn't

the true lion of Judah. The enemy is like the

hyenas from the Lion King. Now, this won't be

on the board, but most of you know Genesis 50

-20. It tells us what the enemy meant for evil.

God uses for good. But I believe that the opposite

is true. What God meant for good, the enemy uses

for evil. See, I believe the bad things happen

for one reason. We live in a broken world. The

world is broken because of two events. The fall

of man in the garden and Lucifer's fall from

grace in heaven. The enemy's purpose is to steal,

kill, and destroy. I'm not a believer in saying

all things happen for a reason. Or God did this

or that for a reason. I mean, oftentimes the

reason is I'm a knucklehead. God never wants

bad for you. God always wants good for you. God

always wants the very best for you. It's the

adversary that wants the opposite. It's the accuser

that created the bad, the evil. See, I personally

believe that cancer and strokes and other calamities

are the result of Satan taking what God meant

for good and twisting it and turning it until

those things fulfilled his evil desire. Which

is what? To steal, kill. Good, three of you know

it. Again, nothing bad comes from God. We read

this in James. Let no one say when he is tempted,

I am being tempted by God. For God cannot be

tempted with evil, nor can he himself tempt anyone.

Further down in the passage it says, deceived,

my beloved brothers. See, Satan's good at deceiving

us because he doesn't tell full lies. He just

changes one word or one syllable. He skews the

truth just a little to deceive us. But remember,

a half -truth, a mostly -truth, is still 100

% lies. The enemy is crafty and convincing, but

every sin that I have committed has been my choice

because of my free will. So, God doesn't do the

bad things, so then the question becomes, if

God only wants good things, why doesn't He prevent

all the bad things? Ready for my full, complete

answer? I don't know. But I have to take comfort

in the uncomfortable fact that I ultimately cannot

fully answer that because I'm not God. And thank

goodness, because y 'all would probably bug the

crap out of me. The only answer that I can give

is we live in the now, not yet. But you can take

comfort in knowing that Jesus has overcome the

world. So I'm going to shift here. We're going

to transition the stage. I'm going to invite

some special guests up to join me. And while

we're changing over the stage, I want to see

how much I can bring the anxiety back. So last

week, Carl brought, did Carl not do a great job

with this illustration? Like, but when he did

it, I could feel my wife's. I guess I'm not leaning

back. I could feel my wife's anxiety rising next

to me. Right? But I felt like I heard God giving

me another example to use from this. Not the

board itself, but the shrapnel. Right? So, you

know you have these bright yellow pieces that

go into the perfection board, right? Now, this

is what happens. Sometimes the enemy takes these

pieces and he hides them from us. And then we

spend our time searching for what was taken away.

And in other times, God himself says, you don't

need that piece. It's no good for you. So he

hides it. Now, when I went searching for this

perfection board, I couldn't find it. I looked

in the closet. The game closet wasn't there.

I looked on the pile of crap on the pool table.

Wasn't there. I thought maybe Carrie had sprinkled

holy water on it and buried it in the backyard.

But when I did find it in the deep recesses,

the dark depths of a closet somewhere in the

basement, I found this piece in it. What color

is this piece for the people in the back? Green.

And this green piece does not match all of the

yellow. But this yellow piece is the same shape

as this green piece, right? And I was like, wow,

God, what are you trying to say? Sometimes the

enemy puts pieces that just don't fit. And we

spend all of our time trying to make the pieces

that don't fit fit and searching for the pieces

that have been taken away. And God says, You

can live your whole life trying to beat the clock

to perfection, but your perfection lies in Jesus.

Through his strength, you are made perfect. Now,

hopefully I can sit on this chair. If I fall

back, it'll just be a little more entertaining.

So if you would, welcome to the stage Matt and

Sarah Alexander. So, another one of the questions

that I decided to answer this, but I felt it

was necessary. All of you aren't going to have

experienced this. Some of you have, but all of

us have experienced loss. But this question says,

would God forgive suicide? I personally have

a number of friends that have lost their lives

to suicide. And I have struggled my life with

this very question. And the reason I invited

the Alexanders up is because they have firsthand

experience as suicide loss survivors. So Matt

and Sarah, can you just share a little bit about

your story with us today? Okay, so we have three

wonderful children, Tyler, Aiden, and Ella. I

could be up here all day talking about all the

greatness. But today we're going to focus on

my youngest son, Aiden. or our youngest son,

Aiden. He was the kind of child who would just

light up a room. He was funny, intelligent, athletic,

empathetic. I can remember back to a story. He

was 15. He got his learner's permit. We decided

to take him to HCC because there's no cars around,

and that's what you need to do when a child's

learning how to drive. And I remember him saying

that... Wow, this driving is a lot harder than

it was on video games. Which worried me. So then

one day we decided we were going to work on parking.

And we were parking a very small car, mind you.

But every time he'd try to park, I'd tell him

to get out and look around, see if he did a good

job. And he would get in a little discouraged

every time, like, no, it wasn't good, he'd over

a line, whatever. So then we kept doing that.

Eventually, one time he parked, and he nailed

it. I didn't let him know he nailed it yet, but

he nailed it. And I said, go ahead and get out

and take a look. And he comes back in the car

with a grin from ear to ear and just goes, I

did that. Unfortunately, on April 19th, 2021,

Matt and I both received a phone call from my

mom somewhere around 830 in the morning. telling

us, don't ask any questions, get in your car,

and come home right now. We did exactly that,

and as Matt sped through every single red light

in Hagerstown, and I was driving 120 miles an

hour on I -70 East, we were able to figure out

what happened. Our youngest son, Aiden, at the

young age of 15, died from suicide at our home.

I remember that drive very vividly, and the entire

drive home, I remember begging and pleading.

Please, God. Not my son. Not my baby. Don't let

this be true. Despite all of the amazingness

Matt shared about Aiden, which is just the tip

of the iceberg, unfortunately there were people

in his life, his classmates, his teammates, who

made him question his value, who made them question

his amazingness, and ultimately it skewed his

lens and contributed to his decision. The ripples

that got created on April 19th shattered our

innocence. rearranged our entire lives in ways

we never could have imagined, and has changed

the trajectory of the lives we live today. I

want to pause here. Many of us have had similar

thoughts in our life, but if you personally are

dealing with thoughts of what it would be like

if I wasn't around, I want you to not believe

any of the lies and understand that I love you.

We love you. But more importantly, God wants

you to have the best because he loves you. So,

guys, what would you say to somebody that's going

through this or maybe a similar season? So, I

will say from firsthand experience that you're

going to want to give up. Those thoughts are

understanding. Rudy stole my thunder a little

bit. I was going to change my speech a little

bit. I love you, and more importantly, God loves

you. So don't do that. I would tell others that,

yeah, this sucks. It's more devastating than

anybody could ever imagine. It doesn't make sense.

I don't know why. I might likely never know why.

As humans, we have a tendency to withdraw inside

of ourselves, and that's what I, what Matt and

I did for now five years. We still find ourselves

doing it today. We try really hard not to, but

we recognize it. I'd also say that while, yes,

this is really hard, and yes, it sucks, that

we have to just keep going. Even if it's just

one breath at a time, one second at a time, we

just have to keep putting one foot in front of

the other. So, did you do it alone? No, you cannot

do it by yourself. I'm going to steal Sarah's

thunder here. We had to do it together, but more

importantly, we had to do it with God. It took

about three years after Aiden's death before

Matt and I invited God onto this journey with

us, and I can honestly say until that happened,

we did not actually feel any real healing. We

were stuck where we were, and God is the one

who has gotten us through it. So you said doing

it together, and that's something we're going

to come back to when we get to the action steps.

But I want to take a moment to answer the question,

will God forgive it? And I want to answer it

this way. Remember, there isn't any work or act

that you can do that gets you into heaven. There

isn't any work or act that you can do that keeps

you out of heaven. The work was paid for by the

sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. What gets

you into heaven? The one thing you can do is

accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. What keeps

you out of heaven is rejecting Jesus. Since we

are covered by the blood of Jesus, our ticket

was stamped the day we truly invited Him into

our hearts as our Savior. I don't believe suicide

is a determining factor. to getting you into

heaven. I believe it has to do with accepting

Jesus. That's the determining factor. So Sarah,

in our conversations over the past couple years,

I've used the word committed suicide. And a couple

weeks ago when we met, you gently corrected me.

So if you would, could you just share with us,

everyone else, what you shared with me? Yeah,

when we refer to the cause of someone's death,

we don't say they committed a heart attack, they

committed cancer, they committed kidney disease,

because it's not something that they did. It's

something that has happened to them. And so when

we use that term committed in reference to suicide,

what we're doing is we're alluding that the person

who died from suicide committed a crime or a

sin, and they didn't. What actually ends up happening

is suicide is the result from an illness. It's

a result from mental illness. Just like heart

disease, just like cancer, mental illness is

also a real disease. So I want to look at 1 Corinthians

and Paul's first letter. In chapter 10, it says,

No temptation has ever overtaken you that is

not common to man, meaning others have already

lived what you are living. And after you, others

will continue to live similar seasons. But God

is faithful and he will not let you be tempted

beyond your ability. But with the temptation,

he will also provide the way of escape that you

may be able to enjoy it. You know, another phrase

that I'm not a fan of is, God will never give

you more than you can handle. It's false. Even

though I just read that scripture, it's not true,

it's 100 % lies. Because it's only half truth.

I know plenty of times in my life, God has given

me more than I can handle. The scripture says

he will provide the way of escape that you may

be able to endure it. Ultimately, the full truth,

God will not give you more than you can handle

as long as you rely on the Holy Spirit to comfort

and guide you. So ultimately, I can't tell you

why God separates some. or relieves some suffering

from people and allows others suffering from

others. But I do know that God makes a promise

for suffering. So I want to tell you a quick

story, another car maintenance story. No, it

is not changing a tire. I needed to change my

windshield wipers a couple months ago, so I went

to Sands and I got these windshield wipers, right?

I didn't need the instruction because I've changed

them dozens of times. I didn't need the instructions

because I'm a man. But the next time it rained,

after I changed, the next time it rained, I noticed

my windows were blurry. But it stopped raining,

and my windows cleared up, so I drove on. Then

a couple weeks later, I was driving down the

falling waters, and it's blurry again. And as

I'm driving home from falling waters, one of

the blades just starts breaking off. As I'm crossing

the river, it flies off. Like I'm going to Sam's

and returning this thing. And then before I got

off the interstate, I look over and notice that

the passenger side where it fell off was actually

clear. But the driver's side, can you pick that

up, man? The driver's side wasn't. Because I

didn't read the directions. I didn't have all

the information. That thing was put there to

protect. The windshield wipers. Know this. God

puts things in your life to protect you that

you might not all have the wisdom or understanding.

But the protections are still there. Now, again,

I can't tell you I allow suffering. But I can

tell you that he provides a promise. And I want

to read a poem for you. It's one of my favorite

poems. It's by a woman named Annie Johnson Flint.

It says this. God has not promised. Sky is always

blue. Flowers turn pathways all our lives through.

God has not promised sun without rain, joy without

sorrow, peace without pain. But God has promised

strength for the day, rest for the labor, light

for the way. Grace for the trials, help from

above. unfailing kindness undying love it's not

about why god allows suffering it's about the

promises that god gives us so we want to take

today's action steps and walk you through how

you can remember god's promises through the suffering

because you never have to walk alone the first

action step you need to embrace your grief and

your grief doesn't have to be something big something

dire, something as grave as what we're talking

about. It may be you leave a job and go to another

job. I know that I had to grieve giving up teaching

when I became a pastor. It may be moving out

of the house that you brought your babies home

to and raised them in, even if it's a bigger,

better house. But there's a promise that God

gave us in the Beatitudes, Matthew 5, that says,

blessed are those who mourn. for they will be

comforted. And if you hear nothing else today,

hear this. Grief is a word of love. Loss of anything

puts a huge wall in front of us. But God provides

a gate of grief for us to walk through. And most

of us do our best to avoid that gate at all costs.

But no, you can't walk around the wall. and no,

you can't get over or underneath the wall. The

only way to get healing is to walk through the

gate of grief. But once you decide to open the

gate, you will find that God is there with you,

and not only will he let you through, and also

understand that joy and grief, they can coexist.

So quickly, Matt, Sarah, can you talk about how...

you have been able in your lives to embrace the

grief. Yeah, so embracing grief was difficult.

I was searching for answers on how to exist without

my son, reasons to keep going. And then through

God and through this community of faith, I realized

that grief is, this is going to sound really

weird, but it's a good thing. And the fact that

you only grieve things that you really loved.

And the more you loved, the more you will grieve.

So just keep that in mind. After Aiden died,

I struggled with God. If I'm being completely

honest, I pushed him away. I couldn't understand

why Aiden, why us, why didn't he do something

to save Aiden? How dare he take my child away

from me? How dare he call my child home early

when I knew he had so much life left to live

and how amazing his life was actually going to

be? But then about three years in, we have some

really good friends who said to us, hey, we go

to this church. It's kind of hippie, but we think

you might like it. Will you come with us? And

we said, absolutely. And so we did. We came,

and look, we're still here. We fell in love immediately,

and we realized without God, without our church,

without our faith, without our community, we

would have continued to feel lost, and our healing

would have never been able to begin. Which leads

us to our next point. Don't walk alone. Get an

ally. Get a friend. But first, part of that goes

to you and me. We need to be a friend who recognizes

the grief in others. Matt, Sarah? Yeah, so if

you know someone going through grief or just

plain needs help, a lot of tendencies is asking,

you know, what can I do for you? Is there anything

you need? Please let me know if you need anything.

I can tell you firsthand they're not going to

ask. You just need to do it. It could be mowing

the lawn. It could be a hug. It could just be

saying, I'm here. Two days after Aiden's death,

my best friend just showed up at our door unannounced.

We had family in town. We had just made plans.

We were going to place a to -go order at Buffalo

Wild Wings. We were all excited because we hadn't

really eaten in two days. And she shows up with

Kentucky Fried Chicken. She didn't know what

to do, but she knew she could feed us. And what

I can tell you is that during those early days

of our grief, you really do forget how to live.

If breathing wasn't automatic, I know for a fact

that there would have been many, many times where

I would have forgotten to simply do that, just

breathe. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 and 10. Two people

are better off than one, for they can help each

other succeed. If one person fails, the other

can reach out and help. but someone who falls

alone is in real trouble. Get a mentor. Get a

confidant. Get in a growth group. We're going

to have a tailgate party in a couple weeks. There's

over 30 groups in this church, one of which is

called Grief Share. Reach out and get prayer

ministry. Find a trained therapist. I see a therapist.

It doesn't mean you're weak if you get a therapist.

The strong people are the ones who decide to

reach out and talk to someone. And I'm not advocating

for medication, but maybe medicine is part of

your answer. I take anti -anxiety and anti -depressants.

But understand this. You need to pray like it

depends on God, but you need to put in the work

like it depends on you. And part of that includes

reaching out to your community. And the other

thing it includes is our last action step. Use

your story. Psalm 66 tells this in verse 13.

Come and listen, all who fear God, and I will

tell you what he did for me. Tell people what

he did for you. But God did listen. He paid attention

to my prayer. Praise God who did not ignore my

prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.

Telling your story is part of your healing. So

Matt and Sarah, how has embracing your grief

by sharing your story helps you heal? Aiden passed

away on a Monday, and Wednesday morning when

I got out of bed, I knew immediately that we

were going to start a nonprofit organization

in Aiden's memory. And that foundation gave me

a way to continue to love Aiden out loud and

share his amazing story and life with as many

people as possible. And ultimately, introducing

Aiden to people who haven't had the pleasure

of meeting him has been incredibly healing and

has actually filled some of the fractures in

my heart. Yeah, we initially need the... the

foundation to pour ourselves into something,

to keep us busy, keep our minds occupied. As

we continue to do that, people would reach out

to us saying, thank you for doing this. You've

touched my heart. You know, you've helped me.

Some of it's been as simple as I've asked my

kids the hard question of how are you really

doing? I'll say for as many people as we've helped,

they've also helped us. It's just as healing

for us and sometimes very much enjoyable for

us to talk about them. So it's not a one -way

street. You may be helping someone, but they

also may be helping you. So tell your story.

Even if you've lived a perfect life all your

life, come tell me your story so I can figure

out how to do that. But understand that your

story, like Matt said, it might help someone

else heal or grow or walk through the season

that they're in. But as importantly, it's going

to help you heal. So will you stand with us?

As we wrap up the discussion, and thanks for

bearing with us, I know it was deep, but we wanted

to really give you guys an opportunity to do

what Matt did a couple years ago. Because he

walked through this, he was able to ask Jesus

into his heart. Now, there's also a reason why

Chris has us repeat this each and every week.

So if we share our story and lead someone to

Christ, we can say the salvation prayer with

them. So I've asked Matt to lead us in a salvation

prayer. Jesus, without you I am lost. With you

I am found. I am free. I believe you are the

Son of God. I believe. You died for my sins.

I believe you are alive today. Come into my heart.

Transform me. Make me new. Give me your Holy

Spirit to partner with me. Allow me space to

embrace my grief. In Jesus' name, amen. If you

just said that prayer for the first time, let's

go. Also, text the words change me if you would

to the number behind me. And you're in luck because

next Sunday is Baptism Sunday. So, I know that

this was deep. It was challenging for many of

us. So, I have Stacy. She's going to come sing

over us. But I also... I'm going to have a trash

can sitting here. So if there is anything in

your life, if there is anything on your person

that you have on you that's going to keep you

from knowing God's full love for you, I want

you to come up and throw it in his trash can.

The prayer team is going to be up here. Matt

and Sarah will be out in the cafeteria if you

need to talk to them. The words of knowledge,

painful, back, and I forget the other one. Tinnitus.

Okay? Now, Stacy's going to sing it as well.

Take this moment to just let the Holy Spirit

wash over you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.

So let go my soul and trust in him. The waves

and winds still know his name. The waves and

winds still know his name. A very good friend

of mine is having open heart surgery on Tuesday

at St. Joe's. She's a wonderful woman who's been

through many, many things. Thank you. soul Jesus

it is well with my soul just receive him right

now