Couples Q&A

Yeah, I'll turn 52.

It's almost 70 years apart, so.

All right, we'll have Brother Rens.

Just a little bit of Yalls background and not, you know, short

history about especially being called.

Called to preach and being a missionary and something.

All right.

It was while we were in Haven, Kansas that the Lord called me into

the ministry.

And I had gotten saved a while back and things just weren't.

Just weren't clicking very good.

And I was kind of concerned about that.

And so I asked the pastor, I said, what's going on?

You know, I just, I don't understand that.

He said, well, have you ever considered the fact that the Lord

might be calling you into the ministry?

And I said, no, I did not consider that.

And so I didn't know what to do.

But it kept following me around what he said.

And.

And so we began to pray about it and the Lord just made it heavy

on my heart about that.

And we began to.

My wife and I matter of fact began to look into fields that we

could go to.

I had thought about going back to Vietnam as a missionary, but that

became impossible to do.

So we had to look at another service, another place to serve.

And we had a book with all the mission countries in it.

And so we kept looking through this book and I pray about it.

And I kept coming back to Guatemala.

I look at some more other countries in the missionary history,

but I come back to Guatemala.

So my wife one day, she says, you know where we're going yet?

And I said, well, I think so.

She said, where?

And I said, guatemala.

And you said, that's what I.

The Lord laid on my heart because I looked at the same book.

Amen.

So that's how we got called in the ministry.

And so how long you can keep that?

So let's give it to her though.

I'm just kidding.

Yeah, I just took it from him because I wanted to.

So how long were you in Guatemala?

Missionaries, if you count.

Yeah.

Do you count our Bible colleges?

Yes.

Yeah.

So about 20 years.

20 years.

Yeah.

So 20 years.

Again your call call the ministry because it's kind of an

unusual having give testimonies who are both called into

the ministry.

So yeah, we were called as a result of actually the Christian

school that our kids went to in Ohio.

We felt the Lord calling us in 2015 and we started attending the

high school Bible class every day.

Was able to run a small business so we could control our

schedule.

So Lee and I went to the high school Bible class every day for

two years.

The Administrator said, have you ever considered going to Bible

school?

I said, well, no, I think I've missed that.

And he said, well, you should consider it.

Long story short, I went and applied for correspondence.

We both were going to enroll a correspondence and went to my pastor

and he says, well, there's a preacher coming.

His name is Raymond Barber.

And I said, well, who's Raymond Barber?

But he said, well, before you enroll, why don't you wait till he

comes?

He came to Dayton and presented Norris Bible Baptist Seminary.

And I thought that was the craziest thing.

I said, why would we move our family to Texas just for Bible school?

There's Bible schools 30 minutes away.

Well, the Lord put it on our heart that this is where God wanted

us.

So we came down with our family at that time.

We had three kids.

And we looked at the school, and without a shadow of a doubt,

God confirmed that this is where he wanted us.

And it took two years for us to get here.

But the Lord really just.

That was the process of being called into the ministry was coming

to Norris.

So.

All right, well, we'll get into the questions that I give.

I said I wasn't going to ask any other questions besides the one

that was on the paper, but I already lied.

So pretty well, it opens up to anything now, doesn't it?

So I'm just kidding.

We'll stick to the paper.

But again, I appreciate these two couples willingness to come and

do this.

So we'll start with.

And you can choose who.

Who answers the question first or whoever wants to do that.

So when and where did you.

You guys meet?

Yeah.

Okay.

We met in Topeka, Kansas.

I gotta have the mic.

We met in Topeka, Kansas, because I was in the military at

a Air Force base just south of Topeka.

And that's how we met.

In fact, we met in church in Sunday schools where I actually met

her.

And she said she thought that I looked like the guy she liked to

be around.

And she stuck around ever since.

Remember, she's going to get the last say here in a second.

This is the way it was.

It was Topeka, Kansas.

I worked in Topeka, Kansas.

That wasn't my home, but I worked there.

And I went to church at Community Baptist Church.

And he and his friend came from the air base.

They hitchhiked seven miles, it was.

And they had come across that church.

So they came to church.

And I was looking at him in the class.

It was a college and career class, and our pastor taught that

class.

And anyway, he had us, like, sitting in a Semicircle.

So they were kind of like over there from where I was.

And I noticed him, and I thought he was looking back at me.

And later he told me that his friend said she was looking at me.

Yeah.

And apparently both looking at each other.

And he said, well, I thought she was looking at me.

Anyway, I was looking at him.

Yeah.

Whichever one of y' all again, when and where did y' all meet?

We met in.

In 8th grade and junior high, and he had to break his arm to get

me to notice him and.

And getting in some trouble in class, and so.

And it really.

That's really where it started.

Yeah, I broke my wrist, and I needed someone to take notes, so

it worked, you know?

And then she was my science partner, so we dissected frogs and

all that fun stuff, too, together, so.

Had an interesting start.

So.

Known each other since the eighth grade.

Since the eighth grade.

That's awesome.

Yes, that's awesome.

And then while you're in the military.

That's great.

All right, we'll start back with you guys.

How.

How long have y' all been married?

Yeah, you might want to get her to answer it.

We've been married.

Well, it'll be 16 years April 28th, and we've been together for

21 years.

That's awesome.

How long y' all been.

Okay, go ahead.

We've been married 61 and a half years.

Okay.

Amen.

That's awesome.

Give him a hand.

That is a long time for you to put up with him, I'm telling you.

No.

Not a lot of roller skating today, but.

Yeah, I think my mom and dad used to roller skate, too.

Yeah, I thought so.

Yeah.

That's where she.

That's where they met.

All right, so again, 61 years.

That's awesome.

What do y' all enjoy doing together?

We like to take day trips, different places, and just.

Especially visit smaller towns and just look around and town squares,

that type of thing, and.

Got any other thing to add to that?

And shopping with it.

Oh, and shopping.

Yeah, shopping with it.

Should have known better than I did.

And eating.

And eating.

And eating.

Yeah, that's a.

That's.

Yeah.

So visiting the small towns around the area and.

Yes, that's good.

Have you ever been to Nakona?

Yes.

Yeah, they have been.

Their downtown's amazing.

So for a small town, some millionaire did all that work.

By the way, what do y' all like to do together?

We like to go out to eat.

That's mainly what I like to do.

So she just comes with me.

Yeah, we enjoy a Good dinner.

And you want to add anything.

Shopping.

We like to go shopping, too.

And I try to prepare him.

Like, we're not.

We're not buying anything, but we're gonna dilly dally.

Okay.

Just prepare yourself.

That's what we're doing.

So we.

I don't like to dilly dally.

Yeah.

I'm sure some of y' all have seen the.

One of the reels or whatever you call them.

I don't know, whatever you call them, where it's the man and

the wife steps out of the house.

He steps out with her, and there's these things pop up.

It says, you know, $20 at Starbucks or $65 at, you know, wherever.

And then $100 at this place, and it's like four or $500.

And he steps back in the house with her, and he just walks out by

himself, and there's nothing.

And then he walks back in, grabs her, comes back out, and here

all the things pop up again.

I love that.

That's awesome.

I'm sorry, ladies.

I shouldn't have done that.

But.

No, I think most of us would say that we fall within that area,

too.

My wife and I enjoy.

We enjoy flea markets and antique stores and just, you know,

walking around and doing things like that.

I enjoy eating, as you can tell.

All right.

And that kind of goes back to.

What is your favorite date night?

Is that kind of.

Yeah, it would be going out for a nice meal.

We.

We like day trips as well.

We'll take a short trip somewhere and see the sights or the

shopping or.

And then come back.

So along the same lines, favorite date.

Night, going out to eat.

Yeah.

Just look at what everybody does, is find a good place to go

eat.

And it doesn't have to be expensive.

I always like to remind young couples, especially.

Especially if you're first married, you don't have the resources

maybe, to eat out or whatever the case is, to spend that kind of

money.

You know, go.

Go somewhere, get a good piece of, you know, good piece of pie and

just sit down and fellowship and talk to each other.

And we used to.

My wife and I did used to.

Before, years ago, we used to go to.

We would go to a movie every once in a while.

We were very selective of where we went and what we watched.

And so I haven't been to one since before COVID They haven't made

a decent one since then, so.

Yeah.

And mostly I went to the cartoon ones.

Yeah.

The minions and things like that.

Yeah.

I would like to mention at the beginning of our marriage when we

had little kids and we were on a budget.

One thing especially for Valentine's Day one year we had it

at home.

I rearranged the furniture in the living room and I, you know,

I cooked a dinner and we just had our, you know, our Valentine's

Day at home after the kids went to bed.

But that was just something different that we did.

And.

Again, when you, when you, when you lack resources, you got

to be creative.

And so we were the same way.

And there's always things you can do together that doesn't cost

a lot of money.

But I will say on that, go ahead and Dr. Rens give him.

Yeah, our night outs are more like lunches out now.

I actually prefer that as well.

My bedtime's 9:00'.

Clock.

Yeah, we don't like to be out late night driving around the metroplex

especially, so we can go whenever we want anyway, any day

of the week.

But we like to go out to lunch at different places.

So.

Yeah.

And we found ourselves doing that.

We.

I've kind of gotten a rut where I don't do it as much, but

we had we here maybe a couple years ago, said, okay, let's just.

Because I actually, y' all wouldn't believe this about me, but

I eat the same place every time, right?

So I told my wife, I said, some of y' all are looking at your

husband's going.

I told my wife, said, we'll start trying different spots, you

know, and we challenged.

Anyway.

We did that for a while.

It's a good, good idea just to kind of try different spots and different

areas anyway.

Because what happens when you drive out of the parking lot?

What do you usually say?

What do you.

What do you want?

I don't care.

I love again, I don't care.

I don't care.

It's not a place.

We gotta find someplace to go.

So you've been there?

Yeah, been there before, but.

All right, we'll start back with brother Ren.

So what is your favorite thing about each other?

Well, I know for one thing that she's a detailed person and

she keeps me on track.

Is that your favorite thing about her?

No, but that's one thing.

That's one thing.

Okay, One thing amongst other.

I really appreciate the fact that she's not only she a good wife,

but she's a good mother to our kids.

And she's also a good grandmother to our grandchildren.

She keeps up with all of that.

Well, I like the fact that from the time I first met him, well,

he made Me laugh.

I didn't grow up in a home.

We weren't, you know, sad and mad or anything like that, but it's

just that my parents weren't the jokesters or anything like that.

And he just would say funny things.

And he was from the east coast and I grew up in Kansas.

So it was.

Anyway, anyways, made me laugh.

And then with the kids, he would always make things fun out

of something that could be bad and get him turned around to a different

direction and not think about things to make him so sad or something

like that.

I've always appreciated that he can lighten up a situation amongst

a lot of other things, especially now that we're retired.

He does half of the housework or more.

And so I appreciate that a lot.

Brother Billy, you want to come testify, Brother Billy?

No.

And I think I've heard lots of stories about y' all because of the

trips, mission trips and other things with your daughter and others.

You know, just again, the testimony of while y' all were in

Guatemala and how y' all handled that as parents and to be

commended.

And just again, 61 years being a missionary.

In relation to this being a missionary, one thing it does do

to you is it really makes your family closer together because you're

not living in your natural culture and all that you have is

the family.

And so that's a positive side, I think, of missionary work.

All right, brother.

Ms. Leah, what is your favorite thing about him?

Let me see what I wrote down.

You got it wrote down.

No, really.

I think the sense of security I feel when I'm with him, you know,

I feel protected, I feel safe with him, and the confidence that

he carries just steadies me.

And I think that's my favorite thing about him.

Amongst other things.

Amongst many things.

That's good.

My favorite thing about Leah is I really could name the mother,

the wife, my friend, you know, we enjoy laughing together.

But for real, practically speaking, it's the trust that she

gives me and that helps me able to do the things that I need

to do is because she trusts me.

I mean, we left Ohio, packed up, came to Texas, left Texas, went.

Went to Ohio and came back.

I mean, that is.

I really, really appreciate that about her.

And I think what Ms. Leah was saying, too, if you read the book,

and I encourage you, if you haven't read the book, his needs,

her needs.

It's a really good book about the five things.

And again, they did their surveys and they have done their

studies.

Five things that a woman needs.

Five things that A man need.

And one of those high up on the list of a lady for a woman is

again, having that security of their husband that their husband

creates that security in the home, whether it's financial or whether

it's protection and feeling that is so important.

Men for the wife.

Absolutely.

And then again, so much there.

Communication and all those things.

And that's why we do.

One of the reasons why we have them talk about where do you go for

date night?

What do you like to do together?

Because one of the keys to marriage and probably the key for

the woman is communication and having that time together, talking

together, spending time together.

And so.

So very, very important.

So.

All right, we'll start back over here.

Let's see what is the worst gift you've gotten each other?

So what's the worst gift she's given you?

Are.

Are she wants to start.

Yeah.

Honestly, I had to really think about this.

I honestly cannot think of a gift that he.

A bad gift that he's given me.

Either that or I've emotionally blocked him.

I don't know.

So, yeah, I. I can say the same thing.

I don't think I've gotten a bad gift, but I have given a bet.

Yeah.

Well, no, I have given.

I'll share this story with you.

So it's not.

It wasn't a gift, but it was a situation that I gave to her.

And so when we were first dating, we were.

We had a.

We fellowshipped intensely.

You know, we weren't fighting, but we were just fellowshiping very,

very aggressively.

And she.

Long story short, she wanted to go eat somewhere that I didn't

want to go, but she was insisting on it.

So we went and I decided to go through the drive through in reverse

and make her order it.

And so that was.

That's an awesome idea.

Yeah.

I don't recommend it because she really won't let me live it down.

And every time she's like, please pull forward.

That is awesome.

So you went in reverse through the drive through?

Yes.

I could see that.

This was done in Ohio.

This was done in Ohio.

That's why I was in Texas.

It probably been okay.

But in Ohio.

Yeah, yeah, Texas.

They'd go like, that happens every day.

That's awesome.

Now, I wouldn't do it because my wife.

Because we were in fellowshipping intensely.

That's not the reason.

That wouldn't be my motivation for doing that.

My motivation for doing that would be.

Yeah, yeah.

Drive throughs are irritating to me.

I'm gonna.

I did it the other day.

I drove up past my window and had her order because she was sitting

in the back with.

Yeah.

And I had her order from the back.

From the back seat.

Yeah.

Because most people who give orders or take orders from.

Yeah.

Are inept.

Or the people who are giving you the orders.

Like the people in your car that are supposed to be telling you

what they want.

I don't want to talk about it.

Like, okay, it says a number one, but you know they're going to

ask you, do you want fries with that?

What kind of drink do you want?

But no, they don't tell the people in the car, we should move

on.

Right.

We have to do counseling after that.

Especially if you have kids.

Right.

Your kids are.

You're like, what do you want?

And finally you just say, oh, I'm just gonna order for you.

And just order something.

Whatever you want.

Yeah.

Never done that.

I would say my wife would agree.

Top 10 most stressful things in my life is a drive thru.

Top 10 good.

I appreciate you.

Somebody else who feels the same way.

All right, brother Rins, what's the worst gift you've ever

gotten each other?

Well, both of us talk.

Talked about it, and we're kind of like the Barkers.

Really couldn't think of anything particularly that was bad

or anything that we've gotten.

So I could say probably nothing.

Yes.

Yeah.

Brother Clovis, would you like to come up and repeat one of y'?

Alls?

Because Yalls is like one of the best ones ever.

A brick.

Yeah, the brick.

That was the greatest story of all time.

Chris, Wasn't you, brother Clovis, that said that you don't

think that really happened and something I don't remember now.

So.

Yeah, it was Judy.

Everybody believes Judy, which is.

That was it shoes in two different boxes.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was good.

All right.

I will repeat what I repeat every year that I got my wife on

the first Christmas.

A jogging type suit, like a sweat pant bottoms and top.

I bought them at what used to be called Bill's.

Anybody ever heard it's like a Dollar General?

And I went in there and it was green, but it was from Dollar General.

So the green didn't really.

I mean, the greens were close in matching each other.

They were not that close.

It wasn't because they weren't supposed to match.

It was because it was from a dollar store.

Yeah.

And it just was.

I don't remember how I wrapped it.

Yeah.

Like a Quaker State oil.

Oil box.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna give a follow up.

I'm going to Follow up story.

So most of y' all have heard this one.

This has been a couple years ago, for Christmas, she'd been complaining

about her toaster.

And by the way, this is a good learning experience.

And I always mention to husbands, do not buy your wife, like,

house appliance for Christmas and Valentine's.

That's.

That should never come into.

I don't care how long you've been married.

That's not a birthday present.

That's not a Christmas present.

Don't buy her toaster.

Or you know what, you want a washing machine for your Christmas

present.

Come on, brother Billy, I know you've done it.

So she was complaining about the toaster, and the toaster was,

like, 25 years old.

And so I ordered her a toaster, and a really nice one.

And so.

But I went and bought her, like all proud Texans do.

I went and bought her a gun.

And I took the gun and I put it in the bottom of the toaster box.

And then I put the toaster in there, and I covered it up.

And so on Christmas Day, she opens up her present, and it's a

toaster.

And she's like, this is cool.

Great.

I appreciate that.

No, she wasn't thinking that, but.

And then I said, well, you might want to take the toaster out

of the.

Anyway, more of the story is it's good to do a prank that way,

but do not actually buy your wife a toaster for her birthday.

By the way, Valentine's is, like, three days away.

What have you.

All right, we'll go back over to you.

Brother Renz.

What is something you've grown to appreciate about your spouse after

being married for.

And this actually does apply several decades?

Well, I appreciate her understanding things as you know,

don't always go well, but we are still able to talk things over

even when things are not going well.

And I appreciate that.

I appreciate her taking care of things in the.

In the house that she's getting to where she can't do it

as much.

But I've always been.

I always appreciated that.

I was going to give it for you.

So some things you've grown to appreciate about your spouse after

being married so long.

Well, I would say in all that time.

Well, first of all, after we had been married 10 months, he was

shipped off to Vietnam for a year.

And so I went and stayed with his parents in New Jersey, where

I'd never been before.

But I got to know his family and how he grew up and everything.

And he wrote me, and I wrote him every day.

But he wrote every day, even if he only had time to just do a

sentence, but he wrote every day, and I wrote him back every day.

And then all through the years.

He.

Never has forgotten my birthday or our anniversary and always

remembers Valentine's Day, the special day like that.

So.

And it's, you know, still going.

Here we are almost 62 this year.

So I appreciate that very much.

And he's always been very faithful.

When he got saved, he never looked back.

And I just appreciate the faithfulness.

So, Brother Barker, something you've grown to appreciate.

The.

What I've grown to appreciate most is really her kindness, because

that's what I need, you know, when.

When things are.

Especially when we first got married married, We.

It was.

It was a.

It was tough.

You know, it was hard.

And.

We.

We needed.

I needed that levelness of just being kind.

And she.

She really taught me that that's something that she has.

I would say what I've grown to really appreciate about him is the

grace that he shows me, especially in my weaknesses.

You know, we have our bad days, our low days, our don't talk

to me today days, you know, and he is very gracious to me in

that way.

And we have five kids.

And, you know, towards the end of those pregnancies, I mean, about

every day is a bad day, you know, because you're ready to be

done.

And with five kids and, you know, the last two months, I mean,

that's about half a year of, like, bad days.

So his grace has.

I've just really, really learned to appreciate, and I learned

from myself, so.

So, yeah, I think it is amazing how, for the most part, we

do marry again.

Most of the time we marry opposites.

And God has absolutely put that that way for a reason.

And that is one of the reasons why, when you read the Old Testament,

you read about Adam and Eve, that she is the completer.

And it's amazing how that works out in a.

In a marriage where one personality and you have a different

personality with the other, but they complement each other.

And so to have grace and then also to have that kindness.

And I would say that most.

You know, again, kindness is one of those things that rubs off

on people.

And so as of one spouse is kind, it rubs off on the other.

So, yeah, that's good.

Brother Rams, just advice for establishing a family devotional

time.

I don't think it's complicated.

You make the decision or the commitment to do that, and then you

stick with it, even though there's times when things don't Go

well, to give you the time that you normally want to spend.

You still continue to do that.

And one thing about that is that it is the special time that

we have to have special communication with the Lord.

And that's not something that you really want to miss.

Because the benefit to us is overwhelming in that as he speaks

to us, it'll change your day.

Even sometimes you get started off not in a good mood or you're

not, something's gone wrong.

But in the devotion time, you talking with the Lord about it, and

things will change.

And I think that kids, our kids need to know that this is a

time when we just have a special time to talk to the Lord

and let him talk to us.

And once they.

I think that once they grab onto that, they'll realize that,

hey, he does love me and I can have a special time with him.

Ms. Renz, you want to say anything about that?

Yeah.

So go ahead.

Brother Barker or Miss Leah or Brother Barker.

Yeah.

Our devotion time, family devotions have, to be honest, have

been inconsistent.

And we've had to start and restart and start.

And ours, we have found it better to work for our family to

do it at dinner time.

And what helps that is when the school is teaching the same things

across all the grades.

That's what we talk about.

That's what our devotions are normally.

And so some nights they're real brief.

And some nights the girls will go to bed and the boys are still,

you know, I got my two boys, we're still talking especially about

end times and prophecy stuff.

They soak that stuff up.

But creation and the flood and all of that, just, you know, when

you're excited about.

Helps them to be excited about it, too.

And so we have not been the best with consistency, but we try

to do it on purpose.

So.

And I've said, go ahead.

So you have something.

Yeah, I mean, just to reiterate, do it on purpose, whether

it's at the dinner table, if it's in the car, make time to talk

of the things of the Lord and to pray together as a family.

And we.

And I've said many times that family devotion number one, I think,

again, pick your time.

Try to stay consistent.

I know with sports and school and everything is difficult.

So you have to find that times of the day best for you.

For us, it was early morning most of the time, breakfast time.

And then, especially for little kids, I would say just don't,

you know, don't get in the habit of making it, you know, 30

minutes or an hour Long.

If you want to.

If you want to lose the attention of your kids, go right

ahead.

You can get a devotional book.

There's some back in the bookstore.

There's certainly tools you can use to facilitate that.

And I would also say, like the Barkers, it is something that our

family had to constantly restart and you had to just continually.

And it just, it would happen over and over and over again.

Restart, restart, keep going, keep going.

And then something would come up for a few days or maybe in a couple

of weeks, and you restart it again.

But that's it.

Do it on purpose and go back to it.

And go back to it.

And because God will bless that.

I really do believe that.

I've said many times, my dad sitting back there, that my dad was

consistent, especially in the school year, during the school semesters

of getting up, fixing his breakfast and doing devotion.

And I just appreciate that as a kid growing up.

So we've tried to do that in our home as well and be as consistent

as possible.

So take the time to do that.

It'll mean a lot also, as you, the kids, fly, the cooperation, it's

important.

And again, you have to continue to try to do it as.

Even as a couple, we have to restart that, too, over and over

and over again and be as consistent as possible.

And there's some good books, devotional books for couples, too,

or you can read a book together, whatever the case is.

All right, Brother Rends, how did you help each other through trials?

What's some of the things that.

Basically what we did was to.

To talk it over, have communication about whatever the

problem was.

And then, of course, we back that up with prayer.

But just talking it through helps a lot.

And then just letting the Lord speak to us about how we should handle

things.

Yeah.

Because I think one of the things happens is people will, you

know, clam.

One of the.

One or the other will clam up and there's no communication.

Go ahead, Ms. Reynolds.

One of the things we did talk about, but also was that we go stop

and think back in our past, you know, what God had done for us.

And we got through that.

He got us through.

You know, you just have to remember that his promises are true

and stand on the promises and.

But sometimes when you're in the middle of a situation, you just

can't think, think of that.

But if you just stop and pray about it and all, then you start

thinking about, well, God didn't let us down before.

He's not going to let us get down now.

He's brought us this far.

And so he'll continue to do so.

I would say I'm one of those who do clam up when it comes.

Comes to trials and hard things.

And for me, it is encouragement.

And sometimes it's not always trying to fix it right then and there,

you know, for me, it's him, you know, sitting with me and holding

me and letting me cry and let me feel all those emotions and sometimes

not saying anything at all.

And that has helped me, me through a lot of our hardships, a

lot of our trials.

That's something I've had to learn.

I'm a fixer, and when I see a problem, I want to fix it.

And that I've had to really learn and grow in that area.

Still learning, still growing.

But that has helped us.

When our daughter was in the hospital, that was a hard time, really

hard time.

And I don't even.

I mean, at those points, I didn't even know what to say.

And so I was just there.

And that did help.

Yeah, being there.

And then the one again who is the one who kind of clams up the

other one, helping encourage that one, and then reminding of our

past.

Sometimes one of the.

One of you will, you know, be the one upset, and then the other

one will say, well, remember what.

What happened last time and what God did last time.

And that's good, that's a good advice.

Remembering again, ministering to each other, praying with each

other, and helping them through the trial.

A lot better to go through a trial with a teammate than without

one.

And if I was to go around to some of our widows or widowers, I

guarantee you they would testify to that a thousand times

over.

And so to have a husband or a wife and a teammate, a completer

to go with you through those trials, just quickly prioritizing

family and church, you know, keeping that church a priority in

your family.

That was never an issue with us.

We just did it.

And our kids went with us, and of course we.

A lot of that was on the field.

And one thing that helped us is that I found out that a lot of

missionaries, when they're on the field, especially of other groups,

their kids are not involved in the work.

So they may not be in church.

And so.

But our kids were involved in the work.

So they were in church every time that the door was open and became

friends with the kids of their age in the church.

And so church became really a family thing.

Not just our family, but the church family.

And it made a big difference, I think.

Good.

That's good, brother Barker.

You know, when we first were together, we didn't go to church.

We.

We asked, hey, do you want to go tonight?

When we started going to church, it was as a foundation for

our family.

It was a safe place for us to go.

And we've kept that.

Now we don't even ask the question, are we going tonight?

We're going.

And that it's been the glue, really, that's held our family together.

When we need help, we.

We ask couples who have been there and done that, and that's what

we've come to love and to learn about our church family, is

that we're in this together and we have problems.

Someone else has probably had that same problem, and that's with

a young family starting off, not on the right foot.

The church has just been, you know, we didn't worship the church,

but we worshiped at the church.

And so it's been a big help to us.

Yeah, it's been.

Yeah.

I mean, just reiterate it.

I mean, it has been foundational for our family, especially

starting out, and it's been a Just a healthy environment for our

children to be in.

And.

Yeah, just that growing foundation.

I'm going to add one more thing is really what was convicting

for me and how the Lord used this particular thing to call me

into the ministry was when my son knew more Bible than I did.

He went to a Christian school.

He went to Sunday school every week.

And it was like he would have memorization verses, and he knew

more stories than I did.

I said, you know, I've got to get in there.

He can't show me up like this, you know, but the Lord used that

to prick my heart and to say, I need to be able to know what I

believe and why.

Yeah, again, prioritizing church in the family is paramount.

Again, we talk about priority in life are God first, you know,

family second.

Well, really, your spouse second, your family, your kids third.

And in that is church.

I mean, Jesus died for the church.

And so y' all have heard our stories, My wife and I, stories about

our kids.

I'm the preacher.

I'm expected to be here.

Right.

My kids have to be perfect.

And.

But then they hang around with the deacon's kids and it goes south.

But we just.

We did the same thing my dad did with me, and that's just.

We included them in everything.

We drug them to church.

I don't know how many times somebody said that to me.

I don't go to church anymore because that's all My mama did.

They just drug me to church and drugged me to church.

Well, we drug our kids to church, too, but we also involved

them.

Involved them with us.

And I've told lots of stories, stories before about.

About that.

I'm thankful.

You know, my boys are here and their wives are here working with

us in the ministry.

And God's good.

You say, well, how.

I get that question all the time.

How did you do that?

The Lord did it.

You know, you pray hard and you, by the grace of God, do your

very best, and then God does the rest.

You prioritize church.

And I know my soapbox is sports.

It's been that way for 30 years.

And I say it from the pulpit all the time.

You start letting your kids miss church for sports, then sports

is more important than church.

You'll find out.

You'll have a hard time keeping them in church, and you just

will.

Because you as a parent said, yeah, my kid's good at this sport,

my kid's good at that sport.

We'll start missing Sunday nights or Wednesday nights for sports.

No, no.

Church is more important than sports.

Amen.

That's Bible, by the way.

Well, you don't know how good my kid is and get a scholarship and

blah, blah, blah.

Phooey.

His spiritual life or her spiritual life is way more important

than that.

Be consistent, because what it does, it just breathes about inconsistency.

Daddy says church is important, but he lets me play sports.

I know that's my soapbox, so I'll get off of it, but it is true,

and we need to prioritize church.

And I can say that in our family, it's vitally important in

raising our kids in church.

In church, we'll let them go last.

So parting.

Parting thoughts.

You get the last, you know, parting thoughts, things, you know,

advice, anything you'd like to say.

You want to start?

I'm mainly just speaking for the ladies, and this is just from

my experience and my own testimony.

Don't try to fix your husband.

God does a better job at it than you, than me.

And just follow his lead, pray for him, and God will bless you for

it.

A lot better than you could have on your own.

One thing that I have learned and learning is that marriage is

not a 5050 endeavor.

There are times during our load times that I'm only 10% in and

she has to cover the other 90% and vice versa.

And that has helped once I realized that it's not a 50 50, and

sometimes I might be negative, you know, and she has to carry the

weight or I have to carry the weight of the marriage.

But it's worth is worth it.

God has blessed us greatly and we're so thankful for our marriage.

Yes.

It's not just 50, 50.

It's sometimes it's 80, 20 or 90, 10, or, you know, it might be

50, 50 sometimes.

But you just have to remember the vows that you took and stick

with that.

And of course, if you have the Lord as the Lord of your life, of

your marriage, it'll make it a lot easier.

And you just have to decide in the bad times that I won't say I

always thought, because that makes, you know, we had our ups and

downs too, just like everybody does.

But you just remember the vows that you took and say that I'm committed

to the Lord and I'm committed to the vows, and you let God take

care of them and just keep on keeping on no matter what.

That's all I can say about that.

You just have to keep on because you know that God has a plan.

Well, it's simply a forever commitment.

And I think seeing the days that we live in now and how marriage

is not looked at as anything that important, if you want to be

married, fine.

If you don't, just live together.

And that's not a commitment and it's not that a biblical plan

for a man or woman.

And so there's no other option really, if you're going to do it

God's way.

And when you are committed, then God is also committed to make

sure that your commitment continues and back that up and give

it the power that's needed to see it through.

All right.

We thank both these couples.

I mean, did a great job.

Appreciate that very much.

You can be seated.

Let.

You guys will get seated.

I think again, what the Renzes were saying, commitment, being committed.

We always used to say divorce should not be in your vocabulary.

There's a rail over there, but that's okay.

I'm glad I could pick on brother Rhinds.

He's.

I appreciate that he just continues to walk.

But being committed, committed, divorce shouldn't be in

your vocabulary.

Marriage is work.

And my wife and I have been married 32 years.

It is.

It's a commitment.

Again, the feeling of love does this, but the commitment of

love should always remain the same.

I'm committed.

I'm committed Again.

Doing for others, being kind to each other, communicating all

those things are so vitally, vitally important.

Remembering to continue to date your wife, remembering to continue

to date your husband after you're married.

We have a date night here.

Babysitters at the church once a month.

Take the time, invest in your marriage.

Whether it's a couples conference like we're fixing to have

here on Friday and Saturday.

Take the time, invest in your marriage.

It's so important.

Alright, let's all stand.

We have a verse invitation tonight.

And again appreciate both of these couples.

Wonderful examples.

One married 61 years.

That's amazing, isn't it?

I went and visited brother Clem on Tuesday.

Brother Clem and his wife were married 73 years.

73 years.

And he is so lonely.

And as I prayed with him, I just feel for him.

He's 91 years old but I think of the.

All he wanted to talk about was his wife.

His wife.

What, what a life they experienced together.

And all of us should strive.

Well, all of us should strive to live to be 91.

That would be awesome, right?

Especially in the shape he's in.

But also to strive to have that kind of commitment, that kind

of.

What a wonderful example we have in our church.

Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, Lord, we do thank you for the testimonies we've

heard.

And Lord, I know some in the audience today and maybe some watching

online.

Lord, it's certain areas that we all need to work on.

I pray God that you'd shine light in our hearts in those areas.

Lord, may we have and be committed.

And Lord, may we love as we ought to love and be kind to each

other.

Lord put you first in our life.

In Jesus name.

Amen.

Let's have a verse invitation.