Spiritual Friendship: Friendship at Its Finest (1 Samuel 18:1-9, 19:1-7)

Hello, friends.

This is Pastor Creighton.

Thank you for tuning in to Newsong Church's Sermon Podcast.

At Newsong Church, we want to see Jesus lifted high in Port Perry, Ontario, as we worship, grow, and serve.

You can learn more about us and find contact info at newsongportperry.ca.

The first lesson is from 1 Samuel, chapter 18, 1 to 9, and then chapter 19, 1 to 7.

1 Samuel 18 · chapter mention

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.

And Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house.

Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul.

And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword, and his bow and his belt.

And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him.

So that Saul set him over the men of war.

And this was good in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul's servants.

As they were coming home when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out, all of the cities of Israel, singing and dancing to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments.

And the women sang to one another as they celebrated.

And Saul was very angry.

And this saying displeased him.

He said, They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands.

And what more can he have but the kingdom?

And Saul eyed David from that day on.

And Saul spoke to Jonathan, his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David.

But Jonathan, Saul's son, delighted much in David.

And Jonathan told David, Saul, my father, seeks to kill you.

Therefore be on your guard in the morning.

Stay in a secret place and hide yourself.

And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak to my father about you.

And if I learn anything, I will tell you.

And Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his deeds have brought good to you.

For you took his life in his hand and he struck down the Philistine.

And the Lord worked a great salvation for all Israel.

You saw it and rejoiced.

Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without course?

And Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan.

Saul swore, as the Lord lives, he shall not be put to death.

And Jonathan called David, and Jonathan reported to him all these things.

And Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as before.

The word of the Lord.

Hold fast what is good.

Love one another with brotherly affection.

Let's pray.

To count us as your friends, to draw us into your life and love, and to knit us together in bonds of sweetness.

So I pray, Lord, Holy Spirit, that you would continue that good work that you've begun within us.

Knit us together with our Lord Jesus and with one another.

Let our practice of spiritual friendship bear witness to your good news.

It's in Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.

Please be seated.

So, friends, we've been uh traveling through this theme of spiritual friendship for the last uh number of weeks.

And today we conclude our series having solved every last problem that relates to spiritual friendship, being best friends and you know, with with nothing but clear uh horizons, right?

And well, we know that's uh that friendship works in the fabric of real life as it's lived.

So, in a real way, this is uh this has been a study we want to carry forward.

This is uh these last couple of weeks looking at uh the scriptures that we have.

It's something that we want to let uh rest deeply in our hearts as we move forward and as we move forward as a parish.

More and more I'm convinced that the greatest, most undeniable way we can bear witness to the gospel, to one another, and to our community is through our very intentional practice of spiritual friendship.

We began our series by looking at the creation in the context of friendship as we were created to uh share ourselves with the other.

And that was carried forward all the way to the end of history into the very kingdom itself, where we'll share that perfect friendship with our Lord Jesus for forever.

Friendship is a part of what it means to be human, and it's what will uh it's what will characterize the kingdom that we'll participate in.

We also looked at this passage, John 15.

This is a repeat gospel reading, so to speak.

It's just so good we have to do it twice.

Jesus calls us friends.

What a wild mystery that is.

Not servants, not hey you, but friends.

Jesus invites us to know his very heart, his very mind for us.

And what we see in Scripture, the good news of the gospel is that God doesn't just make friends out of the cream of the crop, so to speak, God makes friends out of enemies.

We saw that out of Romans chapter 5.

Romans 5 · chapter mention

And because that's the case, that God loves us so abundantly, so generously, that when we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Because God loves us with that kind of love, following Christ means we in turn make friends out of enemies.

And we see walls of hostility be broken down through the practice of friendship.

It's the kind of thing we see in Ephesians chapter 2.

Ephesians 2 · chapter mention

Then last week we had a look at conflict and forgiveness.

Because I'm convinced that true friendship is not something that avoids conflict or characterized as the absence of conflict.

I think true friendship and true spiritual friendship is truly refined, like uh like silver in a forger's fire when we go through conflict.

We work through it with hearts for reconciliation and hearts for restoration.

We looked at a number of passages last week.

To conclude our study, I want us to look at what I think is one of the finest examples of friendship in Scripture.

It's a bit of a case study, if you will, between David and Jonathan.

I want us to see a few things about friendship at its finest, so that we can in turn put them into practice.

I think there's at least three things we can see in David and Jonathan's relationship that tell us what friendship at its finest looks like.

Friendship at its finest is closely knit.

It is committedly loyal, and it contends for the good.

Friendship at its finest is closely knit, committedly loyal, and it contends for good.

We began our series by uh introducing everyone to uh Aylred, who lived a thousand years ago and wrote on the subject of spiritual friendship.

I shared with you his definition of friendship, and it's something I think it's well, it's been formative for my thinking, and as I've been studying these scriptures, I hope it's been formative for us as we have been considering this theme together.

Aylred writes that friendship is that virtue by which spirits are bound by ties of love and sweetness, and out of many are made one.

I think that's so true for David and Jonathan.

In fact, I suspect Aylred has David and Jonathan in mind as he writes this definition.

And what's true of David and Jonathan, I think, can be true of us as brothers and sisters in Christ together.

In fact, what greater witness could there be to the truth of the gospel that God makes us his friends than by practicing friendship at its finest?

So we're going to look at 1 Samuel chapter 18 and some of chapter 18 and some of chapter 19 today.

1 Samuel 18 · chapter mention

If you have your order of service, if you have your Bibles, please do open it up to 1 Samuel chapter 18, and we're going to be going through these scriptures together.

1 Samuel 18 · chapter mention

So just to give us a little bit of context, what's going on?

In chapter 15, uh, well, Saul has already been selected as Israel's king.

He's reigning as king, but he's on the decline.

He's being unfaithful to his calling to be the king of God's people.

And so in chapter 15, God has conclusively rejected his dynasty.

And in chapter 16, God has appointed Samuel to go and anoint David for the task of being Israel's next king, for being the good shepherd king.

And by chapter 17, David has uh come to Israel's rescue and delivered them from the Philistines by defeating this enormous champion named uh Goliath.

David was the champion that Israel needed to stand in the gap and win the victory that they couldn't win for themselves.

And now here we are in chapter 18.

I should probably pull up my scriptures too, since I asked everyone else to do that.

Here we are in chapter 18, and this is this is where we catch a glimpse of David and Saul's son Jonathan, and the very heart that they have for one another, friendship at its finest between Jonathan and David.

Friendship at its finest, the first thing I think we can see here is that friendship at its finest is closely knit.

Let's look at the first verse.

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.

And Jonathan loved him, David, as his own soul.

So there's two key words here I think we should notice.

First is this word knit.

Jonathan's soul is knit to David's.

And this word that we translate, knit, could be translated as bound or attached, joined together.

Even uh it's used as it's kind of conspiring.

It's kind of like, have you ever used that phrase, they're thick as thieves.

That's kind of the that's kind of the idea here.

They are bound together, come what may.

And knitting, of course, is a metaphor.

I've been watching uh Rachel knit a sweater for our little nephew Calvin and take red wool and white wool and weave together this beautiful pattern.

And truthfully, I'm mesmerized by knitting.

I obviously don't know how to do it.

But I watch Rachel taking these individual threads of different colors and weaving them together such that they, like when you knit them together, they're there, they're tied together, they depend on one another.

They they interlace and interweave such that they strengthen one another.

And this is the idea between Jonathan and David.

Their lives are being wound bound and and wound together, so to speak.

And this kind of sharing of self requires a sense of uh well, a sense of uh of openness.

It requires a sense of uh of getting outside oneself for the sake of the other, of the other.

So they're being knit together, and knit by what?

This is the other key word, Jonathan loved David as his own soul.

The word love here is the same word that appears uh in Genesis chapter 22, referring to Abraham's love for his son Isaac.

Genesis 22 · chapter mention

And it appears also in Deuteronomy chapter 6: love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

We heard that uh in our summary of the law this morning.

Love wills the good of the other.

Love gets outside of oneself and wants the very best for one's partner, for the object of one's affection.

Love is more than just a feeling.

It might be accompanied by a feeling, it might be a really nice feeling, it might be a very warm and fuzzy feeling.

But for a biblical practice of love or a biblical framework of love, that's not the very heart of the matter.

Love is something that takes action.

Love is something that is put into practice.

This is the kind of thing we see at the heart of uh what's often been called as the love chapter in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention

It makes for a great wedding reading.

It was one of our wedding readings, but in fact, it's not written about uh uh weddings or matrimony of any sort.

It's actually written about um the kind of relationships that are supposed to bind the church together.

Love is patient, Paul writes.

Love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Of course that's something that ought to be true in our marriages, but Paul is writing this sandwiched in between controversies about spiritual giftings.

It's like the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart, and that's a church that loves one another, puts love into practice, makes friendship a discipline, a virtue that's habituated over time through practice.

I remember um I mean when you're growing up, everything's kind of a haze, right?

So sometimes you're trying to make sense of life history as an adult.

And anyway, I remember having a conversation with uh with my parents about really close family friends of ours.

And I just sort of had the impression, like a child does, that you're just, I mean, when when you've got such close friends, that's just a thing that's always been the case.

You guys have just always been friends.

I think I must have said something off-handedly like that to my mom.

And I remember my mom saying, well, actually, that's that's not always been the case.

Like when you were very young, yeah, we we were friendly and we saw each other at church and we said hello and everything else.

But she said, It wasn't until your dad got leukemia and he was in the hospital and he had appointments to run across to all across town, and suddenly she says, My whole schedule became about caring for your dad.

That's when we needed help.

And that's when these friends stepped in and said, How can we help?

She said we didn't really know them that well.

But what can we do?

Can we pick Creighton up from school?

Can we pack his lunches?

Can we come over and clean your bathroom?

Let us know we're there.

She says that over time is what knit us together as such close friends.

That genuine love that was put into practice, that wove together such a profound and shaping friendship for both of our families.

See, love is something we put into action.

By the way, my dad is fully recovered.

Praise the Lord.

Love is something that's put into action.

Love is something that's practiced, just like friendship is put into action.

It is practiced, and that's the kind of love that Jonathan has for David.

He puts that love into practice for David's well-being.

He wills the very good, the very best for David, his greatest good, just as David wills the greatest good for Jonathan.

So when we think about practicing friendship, you know, sometimes I'll hear, boy, I, you know, and especially as an adult, it is hard to make friends as an adult.

Do you find that?

It's strange to watch children make friends so effortlessly, and then think, why do I have such a hard time with this?

I mean, maybe there's any number of reasons, but I guess I get to thinking about this friendship between Jonathan and David.

And I get to think, here's Jonathan not waiting for David to show him love so that he can kind of, you know, play it safe.

And well, now that you've kind of come my way, I guess I can kind of meet you there.

Jonathan seems to take the initiative to tie himself to David, knit himself together in bonds of love.

I wonder if forming friendships, if practicing friendships, does not start by assuming someone else is going to show me the kind of love I want, but by taking the initiative to show love in friendship.

I want to be the kind of friend I would like to win.

And I think that's the kind of love that David shares with Jonathan.

Friendship at its finest is closely knit in bonds of love.

Friendship at its finest is committedly loyal.

Let's look at verses 3 to 5 here, chapter 18.

It says that Jonathan made a covenant with David, because Jonathan loved David as his own soul.

And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword, and his bow, and his belt.

And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war, and this was good in the sight of all people, and also in the sight of Saul's servants.

Let's zoom in on two things here.

This is a huge word in verse three, covenant.

This word Baret shows up a number of times in the Old Testament.

It shows up in God's covenant with Abraham.

God binds himself to a promise with Abraham, the sign of which is circumcision, that this promise of life and blessing is going to be carried forth from one generation to the next.

This is not the same thing as God's covenant with Abraham.

That's a covenant, obviously, that has a, well, really vertical dimension here.

This is a covenant with a horizontal dimension.

It's a peer-to-peer kind of covenant.

And a covenant in this way is a, let's see, it's an imposition of obligation.

An imposition of obligation.

I read that in a commentary earlier this week.

And the truth is, I thought, boy, that is the least attractive sentence I've read in a long, long time.

Imposition?

Obligation?

That's like, I just wonder if that's one of the most counter-cultural things we could use to describe really committed friendship.

You know, I wonder if it's uh, I just wonder if it's the case broadly that friendship has largely become pretty commodified.

I wonder if it's the case that friendship has largely become something that's just as quickly dissolved as it is formed.

You know, friendship, if it's something that's supposed to boost my self-esteem, or it's something that makes me feel good, or it's something that has a certain kind of utility, that friendship, you know, with Dave allows me access to the soundboard that I wouldn't otherwise have.

But the second, you know, I don't need that anymore, then Dave and I cease being friends, which isn't going to happen, Dave.

You know, obviously it's um uh obligation is something we like to shrink back from.

Imposition is something we like to shrink back from.

But the kind of committedly loyal friendship that Jonathan forms with David is the sort that says, through thick or thin, we're sticking together.

Even when this becomes inconvenient, even if this becomes a hardship, we are duking this out for each other's sake.

Friendship doesn't shrink away from that kind of commitment together.

In fact, Jonathan is so committed to his friend David, he's willing to share with him all of the signs of his position, all of the signs of his office.

It says, Did you notice that Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him, so his outer cloak, and he gave it to David.

He gave him his armor, his sword, his bow, his belt.

You know, this is not uh Jonathan saying, Boy, that this cloak is really.

Ill-fitting.

It's really going to suit your medium size better there, David.

Obviously not.

What's Jonathan doing here?

They say that clothes make the man, and that is certainly true in the ancient Near East.

This is Jonathan taking the signs and symbols of his position as the heir apparent to the throne of Israel.

Keep in mind, Jonathan is King Saul's son.

It seems obvious that this is the guy who's going to replace his father Saul when the time comes.

But somehow in God's providence, I think I can't help but wonder if Jonathan knows something about what God is about behind the scenes to work David as the next good king of Israel.

But even if he doesn't have an intimation of that, Jonathan is willing to say to David, in this moment, my friendship with you outweighs any ambition I might have for the throne.

I am more committed to you as my friend than I am reigning and ruling.

And I suspect that, well, I can't help but suspect Jonathan knows something about what God is up to, even in this moment.

Even so much so that I'm going to give you, I'm going to not just give you my cloak, I'm going to give you my sword and my bow.

I am literally going to be defenseless before you, because that is the degree to which I trust you, David, are out from my well-being.

Here's what one commentator writes.

Significant because clothes signify the person in his position.

Hence Jonathan renounces his position as crown prince and transfers, so far as his own will goes, the right of succession to David.

No one in the near ancient Near East would do that.

You did not transfer your crown rights to an upcomer.

You eliminated him.

But Jonathan does not ape the boring expectations of his culture.

And that is boring, isn't it?

Cyclical.

That's what we see throughout the book of Kings that follows as Israel spirals into disobedience.

Instead, Jonathan commits himself in a courageous act to David in loyal, committed friendship.

This is an act we actually saw happen at Synod this past week.

That's where I was in Ottawa at Anglican, the Anglican networks gathering, seeing churches and leaders from coast to coast gathering together as we installed our new bishop, Bishop Dan, who's now succeeded Bishop Charlie.

And early on in the ceremony, you can find it online if you weren't tuning in at uh live.

But uh early in the ceremony, Bishop Charlie did something for Dan that happened to him when Bishop Don was, he was taking over for Bishop Don, and that was this when Charlie was being installed, uh Bishop Don took off his cope.

Now I should say bishop wear bishops just wear so many robes, just so many robes, really cool robes, but so many of them.

And one of them is this really elaborate cape-looking thing called a cope.

And so Bishop Don is a sign of continuity, yes, but a sign of loyalty to the next diocesan bishop, takes off his cope and puts it on Charlie's shoulders.

And Bishop Charlie did just the same with uh now Bishop Dan.

It's a sign that it's a symbol that says, yes, we stand in the same continuity of leadership, but it's a sign that says we're loyal to you as our new shepherd.

And that's the kind of sign that Jonathan is sharing with David in this moment.

It's this kind of committedly loyal friendship that goes the distance, that overcomes conflict.

I think that can even be an antidote to polarization.

We've seen such polarization in the last number of years, haven't we?

On all sorts of topics, from politics to the pandemic.

We have seen families and friendships dissolve and be so charged against one another because we find ourselves on two opposite sides of any particular debate.

Committedly loyal friendship is the sort that bridges the gap.

It's not the sort that necessarily agrees on absolutely everything.

Who agrees with absolutely everything with all of their friends, by the way?

But it is the sort that says, I am more committed to you as a person.

I love you with such a genuine love that I'm not going to let this secondary matter become more important than being committed to who you are and committed to your very best good.

And that's a hard thing to do.

That is messy, and I'm not going to pretend that it's not messy or painful sometimes.

But this is the kind of love that Jonathan is showing to David.

Regardless of any ambitions I might have for the throne or what great success I might enjoy, I am more committed to you, David, the person my friend.

Friendship at its finest is committedly loyal.

Finally, and this is where I want us to land, friendship at its finest contends for the good.

So there's a problem that develops quite quickly.

Just as Jonathan's affection for David grows, Saul's affection for David decreases.

Verses 6 to 9, Saul starts to look at David with a jealous eye.

Because even though people are celebrating shared victories between him and David, he sees this, uh he sees himself being compared to David in an unfavorable way.

And now, verse 9, he's eyeing David with an envious and jealous and murderous eye.

And that's what he tries to do for the rest of chapter 18, is scheming to destroy David.

By chapter 19, he's trying to uh conspire with his son Jonathan to put an end to David.

I mean, probably, I mean, Saul is one of the most neurotic and paranoid leaders in the Bible.

And so he's thinking, surely my son is going to side with me in this conflict and not David.

He's the heir apparent.

He wants to be king after all.

But as he's trying to conspire with Jonathan to put an end with David, Jonathan is, in fact, stands up for his friend.

He contends for the good by confronting evil.

Let's zoom in on verses four and five in chapter 19.

Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father.

Let's stop there.

That is a huge risk.

Because tyrants don't really like it when you disagree with them.

Jonathan is a very courageous man.

Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father, and said to him, Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his deeds have brought good to you.

For he took his life in his hand when he struck down the Philistine, when he struck down Goliath, and the Lord worked a great salvation for all Israel.

You saw it and rejoice.

Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?

So Jonathan is pointing out to his father Saul rational and moral and theological reasons why this is wrong.

This is a friend, not just interceding for another friend, but this is a friendship that is defending, contending, rising up for what is objectively good in the world against what is the kind of evil that wants to undo and destroy it.

It's for this reason that the classical tradition, including Aristotle and our friend Aelred, recognize that true friendship exists between virtuous people, those who pursue the good themselves and will the good for each other.

Because virtuous people aren't just interested in their own selfish interests, like Saul is interested in keeping an iron grip on the throne.

No, Jonathan and David are the sorts of virtuous people who want to defend good for what it is, recognize the good in one another, and will defend one another for it.

Friends, this is the kind of contending for good and friendship that the church is called to.

We see this in Romans chapter 12 in our New Testament reading this morning.

Romans 12 · chapter mention

Paul writes this abhor what is evil, hold fast to what is good.

And he goes on to say, Repay no evil for evil, but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Which he goes on to say means don't take vengeance on one another.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

This is the commitment Jonathan and David have toward one another.

We are going to overcome evil, not with evil.

We're not going to conspire to assassinate Saul.

We're going to contend for good together.

Friends can stand together and contend for good in a unique and powerful way.

This is what the early church I think bears witness to.

In Acts chapter 2, describing the first generation of believers, it says this: all who believed were together and had all things in common.

Acts 2 · chapter mention

And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all as any had need, and day by day attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.

And the Lord added to their number day by day those who are being saved.

In other words, the earliest church said, We recognize that it is not good for people to be in want.

So we're going to gather ourselves together.

We're going to put love into action and we're going to make sure that needs are provided for.

We're going to hold fast to the good and abhor what is evil.

We're going to overcome evil with good.

The kind of friendship that David and Jonathan share with one another is the kind of friendship to which the church is called to.

Imagine if we can show one another and show Port Perry that kind of friendship that contends for the good.

If our community knew one thing about New Song, they go, that is a church that wants to be my friend because they will what is good for me.

They will what is good for my family.

That's the kind of church we want to be, don't we?

That's the kind of church that is truly gospel-centered.

Friends for the sake of Christ as He is our friend.

And ties us together in bonds of genuine love.

Genuine love and loyalty doesn't necessarily begin by selling all of our possessions and putting it all in a pot in the middle of the church.

But it does begin with genuine actions of hospitality, of care and love, and reaching out to perhaps to someone we might see Sunday for Sunday, but not necessarily know all that well.

Genuine friendship that contends for the good begins by engaging with one another, living the common life with one another, and helping one another and helping those outside our doors at every opportunity that we have.

This is the kind of friendship that David shares with Jonathan.

It contends for good, it defends good in the world around it.

So when Jonathan dies later in the narrative, David mourns for Jonathan, and he says this about his friendship.

He says, Jonathan lies slain on your high places.

I am distressed for you, my brother.

Very pleasant you have been to me.

Your love to me was extraordinary.

Friendship is an extraordinary kind of love.

Let me conclude here.

Aylred writing about this friendship that David and Jonathan share, says this here is a true and perfect friendship, solid and eternal.

A friendship that does not corrupt, suspicion does not diminish, or ambition wipe out.

It does not cease even under trial, even under such a battering it does not collapse.

Assailed with abuse it stands firm.

Beaten with insults, it does not bend.

And he says to us, Go thou and do likewise.

Friends, because Jonathan and David are tied together, because they are closely knit and committedly loyal and contending for good, their friendship resonates into eternity.

And so it points us towards the greater friendship to come.

Jonathan's soul is closely knit to David's in love, so Jesus says to us, Abide in me, and I in you.

Be knit together with me.

Jonathan was committedly loyal to David, giving him his robe, giving him his sword, and Jesus says to us, You are members of the new covenant in my blood.

And he clothes us in his righteousness.

Jonathan's friendship with David contended for good against evil.

And so too does Jesus contend for good against evil through the cross.

Greater love has no one than this, then one should lay down his life for one's friends.

This is friendship at its finest.

So, friends, let love be genuine.

Abhor what is evil, hold fast to what is good, and love one another with brotherly affection.

Amen.

Thank you for listening today.

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May God bless you and keep you today and every day.