Jesus was not "Nice", but ALWAYS Kind | Ephesians 4:25-32

Okay, song service.

I appreciate Ferris stepping up and playing the piano.

She's done a great job.

Really appreciate that.

If you would take your Bible and turn to Ephesians chapter 4, I don't know if you've seen the title of the message or in the books, but I pray you did.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

I simply titled it, Jesus Was Not Nice, but always kind.

Jesus was not nice, but always kind.

And it really uh really makes us think.

I pray you really think about that.

Uh what it means to be nice and what it means to be kind.

It's a huge, huge, huge difference.

So if we would turn to Ephesians chapter 4, we're going to read verse 25.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

It says, Wherefore putting away all lying, speaking every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

It says, Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil.

But him that stole still no more, but rather let him labor, working with his hands a thing which is good, that you may have enough, may have to give to them that needeth.

It says, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good.

To dead find that is ministered grace unto the hearers, and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you are sealed into the day of redemption.

And he says, Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.

Then verse 32.

And it says, Be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sakes has forgiven you.

Let's go to the word of prayer.

Let me Father, we just hump your Bible for you.

Again, Lord, just thank you for the opportunity to be here.

We are thankful again, Lord, that the power is restored and we're able to have service here.

And we just praise you for it.

Again, we're just praying for thankful for the freedoms we enjoy to freely be here this morning, to worship you in spirit and truth.

And again, you've given us a place to come worship.

And I just pray our hearts and minds are fixed upon your will, Lord, and truly seeking you and truly understanding what it means to uh to be kind.

And that's to be Christ-like, and uh not to be a flatterer, but to truly understand that we speak from the heart, uh, to represent you in the right way, where you receive all the honor, the glory, and the praise.

And we do pray, Lord, for I do ask you, Lord, for your preaching grace this morning.

You'd have me behind the cross, and I remain there as we hear your word, and along with your Holy Spirit, Lord, that we understand it and that we would apply it to our life.

And that we do pray for the lost that are here that today might be the day they'd be saved.

Or again, or any decision that needs to be made, we pray it'd be made today in accordance to your will.

And again, we're just so thankful for your Holy Spirit uh to lead to lead us, to teach us, to comfort us, to challenge us, uh, to convict us, Lord, to be the to be more like Christ each and every day.

We love and we praise you.

We ask forgiveness of sins and we ask it's all in Jesus' name.

Amen.

So as you see at the very end of that verse, what it says, and be ye kind one to another.

And that's what really made me think about this entire message got put up upon my heart this week.

Thinking about Jesus and thinking about our world.

And uh, if I were to ask you to describe our church, someone asks you, What do you go to church?

Why go to Union Grove?

And you say, Well, what would you say?

Is it a nice church or is it a kind church?

What would you say?

Think about it.

I pray you'd say it's a kind church, especially after this message.

I pray, because there is a there's a huge, there's a huge difference to understanding what it means to be nice, understanding what it means to be truly kind.

And I used to joke with Sister Tina all the time, saying people that don't know me don't realize I'm the nicest guy I'd ever meet.

But after this week, I told her I got to change that.

I have to change that.

I'm not the nicest guy you'd ever meet.

I hope it'd be the kindest guy you'd ever meet.

But that's really what we should be.

We are to be kind, not nice.

I pray you understand that.

I'm not saying be rude or self-righteous, but I'm just saying that we are to be kind.

As the Bible says about kindness.

Because you know what we believe in the King James Bible, and uh, you know what?

You will not find the word nice in the entire King James Bible.

That's what made me think.

There's words in it, like smooth, we're gonna look at it in a minute.

Smooth, which means something smooth, something's nice.

So if you can go into somebody's house, what's a that's a really nice house.

You've never been there before.

You've never been there before.

But somebody invites you over, that's a really nice, beautiful stonework.

It's a beautiful two-story, three-stone house.

You drive up and say, Wow, that is a nice house.

You don't even know the house.

You don't know what goes inside the house.

Yeah, from the outside, yeah, that's why that's nice.

But is it a kind house?

When you show up, is it are you welcome?

Do you feel welcome?

Do you do you feel loved?

And so it's a huge, there's a huge difference today.

When we think about what happens when we think about things being nice, the things being kind is kind of like what Agent Rogers said years ago.

He had a Russian friend that said, something's changed about the way that God's word is preached today in America.

He said, He listened to a lot of sermons.

He said, Well, what's the word that's missing?

He said, there's one word that's missing that's been changed.

He said, the one word that's missing is what we hear today is commitment.

He said, I hear today, commitment.

Be committed, be committed.

And Agent Rogers said, Well, what's the word?

What's changed?

What word has been changed?

And he said, I used to hear all the time about surrender.

Back in the old days, they'd preach about being surrendered to God.

Now it's all about be committed to God.

And see, being committed to God is based on our commitment.

Being surrendered to God is based on God's, we're surrendering to Him.

In the same way, really, I was thinking about this week.

It's really what being nice is.

Well, guess what?

It's not very much.

Not very much.

I'm selfish.

My time is so limited.

I'm this, that, and the other.

But guess what?

I can be like Christ because Christ was kind.

When to be Christ-like is to be kind.

Kindness really and truly will kind of, well, it will in a way cost you something to be kind.

You can say, have a nice day.

Someone in passing, but you see somebody going out the door, you grab the door and open the door for them.

What you take a little bit of time, you open the door.

You were gracious and kind.

It's more of a kindness, it's more like an action than just more of a lip service.

And that's what being nice is flattery, basically, in a way, in our world today.

So there's three things we're going to look at.

The world wants everyone just to be nice.

The world wants everybody just to be nice.

Number two, kindness is Christ's likeness.

And then thirdly, the kind church.

So we're going to look at those three points.

But I remember what the late Bodie Bachman said.

Years ago, he preached on something, I guess, similar to this.

I just heard a little clip.

But he thinks he said the clip I heard was the church today, the church today's 11th commandment.

You know what the church today's 11th commandment is?

They've taken, he said, they've kind of the church has kind of adopted this 11th commandment.

No, it's 10 commandments, but the church today has kind of adopted this 11th commandment.

You know what he said?

He said, We think that the 11th commandment is that God says, Thou shalt be nice.

No.

No, we are to be kind.

To be kind.

And that's what this is really all about.

But the world wants everyone just to be nice.

When you turn to Isaiah, we look at this point of this, in Isaiah chapter 30.

Isaiah 30 · chapter mention

This is really the world we live in today.

It's nothing new to God.

Or new to the ears of people that say they believe in God even.

Isaiah chapter 30.

Isaiah 30 · chapter mention

The Jews have rebelled.

And uh look at verse 1.

It says, Whoa to the rebellious children, saith the Lord, that take counsel, but not of me.

Well, you go into a library today, you'll see so many self-help books.

Self-help.

Self-help's kind of like Jonah when he was caused to cast over the ship.

He was going to die unless a big fish swallowed him.

That's how useless self-help really is.

We can't help ourselves.

Number one, we can't be saved apart from Christ.

And really, we can't live for the Lord without having the Holy Spirit inside of us and forsaking the things, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life.

And the only way we do that is we are spirit-led.

But we see here, they are taking counsel.

He says, they take counsel, but not of me, and that cover with coverings, but not of my spirit.

And then what it says, that they may add sin to sin.

That walk to go down into Egypt and have not asked at my mouth, to strengthen themselves in the strength of Pharaoh and to trust in the shadow of Egypt.

It says, Therefore shall the strength of Pharaoh be your shame, and the trust in the shadow of Egypt your confusion.

Then jumping up to down to verse 8.

It before them in a table and in a note, in a book, and noted in a book, that it may be forever, that it may be for the time to come forever and ever.

He said that this, verse 9, that this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the Lord.

Look what it says in verse 10.

This is what the world says today.

But look what it says.

But speak unto us smooth things.

That word smooth is nice.

Tell us nice things.

Tell us things I want we want to hear.

And look what he says, he goes on.

Prophesy deceits.

He said, basically what he's saying is, tell us nice things, even if it's a lie.

And that's what the world wants to hear today.

Just tell us what we want to hear.

Just tell us what we want to hear, that we won't be convicted, we won't be changed, that we eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

That's what the world wants.

Everybody get along, just be happy and get along.

That's the message of the devil.

That's the message of the devil.

And it says, verse 11, get you out of the way, turn aside out of the path, cause the Holy One of Israel to cease from before us.

Wow.

Wherefore, thus saith the Holy One of Israel, because you despise this word and trust in oppression and perverseness and stay thereon.

Therefore shall this iniquity be upon, shall be to you as a breach, ready to fall, swelling out in a high wall, whose breaking cometh suddenly at an instant.

God's judgment.

God's judgment will come in an instant.

The rapture will come in the Bible says in the twinkling of an eye.

But understanding that we're not to be nice, we're to be kind.

And what's the kindest thing we can do?

Is be like Jesus when Jesus says what?

That He was the way, the truth, and the life.

To speak the truth.

Because the truth hurts.

The truth does hurt.

It hurts when somebody says that you're a sinner and you're going to hell.

Like, wow.

But it's the greatest words you ever hear when you realize that Jesus died for you.

He paid your sin debt.

That you have a way to have eternal life.

You hear the truth, like, yeah, I need to be saved.

You'll never be saved unless you realize you're lost.

So if somebody tells you everything's great all the time, how are you ever going to fix the problems that you really have?

Not just nice things all the time.

And that's what, again, that's what the world wants to hear.

But Christ, it's a kindness.

A kindness is telling people the truth.

Kindness is Christ's likeness, really.

Turn to James chapter 2.

James 2 · chapter mention

James chapter 2.

James 2 · chapter mention

It's really about, it talks about it, it's always about the faith, of course.

But he makes a great argument.

In James chapter 2, look in verse 14.

James 2 · chapter mention

You look at James 2 and you look at Romans, where Paul says that faith is by you're saved by grace alone.

And then James is like, well, you have to have works.

Well, that's been the big argument for years about, well, is there a contradiction in the Bible?

It's not a contradiction in the Bible.

And because Adrian Rogers preached one of the greatest messages about this I ever heard.

It really just made it so clear in my mind.

You have to see the context.

When Romans is written, Paul's talking about salvation and grace alone is being seen by God.

Nobody can see your salvation.

Can't see it.

We proclaim it, we try to live it, be like Christ.

And that's what Paul was saying.

Your salvation is by grace, through God, through faith, and his God's grace, and it's to be seen.

And his title of his message was by, it says, the roots and the fruits of salvation.

God sees our salvation, the roots of it.

Man sees the fruits of our salvation through our faith.

And that's what Paul or James is saying here.

If people can't see the fruit in your life through your faith, through your salvation, you say you have faith, and there's no fruits, then you question it.

It makes sense.

It makes sense.

And so that's what James, we see.

James here, he's not saying, he's not contradicting Paul in any way.

He's just backing it up, making it, adding another layer to it, but we see the fruits and the roots of salvation.

He says, look in verse 14.

What doth it profit a man?

What does it profit, my brethren?

Though a man say he have faith and have not works, can faith save him?

And this is what I want to think about.

We're talking about being nice or being kind.

Being nice is just, you can do say verbally.

But is it a kindness is an action.

In salvation and faith, this is not any worse way saying we have to be saved, we have to have works to be saved, but in really this is about showing kindness.

There has to be action.

And it says, if a brother in verse 15, if a brother or sister be naked and destitute of daily food, you know you have a brother or sister that's struggling and needs help.

And he says in verse 16, and one of you say unto him, Depart in peace and be ye warmed and filled.

You say, Well, you see them, you see they're struggling or having a terrible time.

You're like, I'm praying for you, brother.

And you go about your business.

You go about your day.

And the world will say, What?

That's a nice guy.

He said he's gonna pray for them.

That's a nice, nice guy.

Hope you get back on your feet.

Hope you're doing the best you can do.

I'll be praying, everything works out.

And what's he say?

He says, He was saying, Peace, be warm to be filled, notwithstanding you give them not those things which are needful to the body.

What do they profit?

You were nice, but were you kind?

Kindness, you would help that person best you could physically.

Physically.

You would actually physically do something.

And he says, Even so, if it have so even so faith, if it have not works, is dead being alone.

He says, Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and he said, I have works.

Show me thy faith without thy works, and I will show thee my faith by my works.

He says, Thou believest there is one God, thou doest well.

The devils also believe and tremble.

But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead.

Really, it's easy to be nice.

It's easy to be nice.

The struggle from us for us physically is and spiritually is to be kind.

Because it's hard to forgive when someone's wronged you.

It's hard to do things that you people need when you have a disagreement with them.

Someone's wronged you in the past, whatever it might be, something's going on.

But to be kind, to be kind is to be Christ-like.

Think about everything that Jesus Christ did.

It was a kindness.

It was a kindness.

And he says in verse 21, Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he had offered Isaac his son into the altar?

Seeest thou how faith wrought his works, by works was faith made perfect.

And it says in the scripture was fulfilled, which saith Abraham believed God and was imputed unto him for righteousness, and he was called the friend of God.

A friend of God.

You ever had a really good friend that just spoke to you and never done anything for you?

Nice friend.

Nice friend.

How many kind friends do you have?

How many kind people do you know?

Gets even smaller.

Think about the people you work with.

Nice guys.

Like a buddy of mine used to say all the time, I shared this with you before.

I like the guy, but I'm not taking him fishing.

I'll be nice to him, but I'm not gonna, you know.

That's a kindness.

Are you willing to sacrifice?

Being kind is a sacrifice.

Because it will cost you something.

You see what he goes on to say.

He said, Do you see then how the that by works a man is justified, not by faith only?

He says, likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works when she had received the messenger that sent them out another way.

They might have said, Man, Rahab's really a nice person.

She spoke to us, hit us, super nice.

What was her kindness?

She went through what she said she's going to do.

She let down the scarlet thread.

For help.

She did something.

There's an action.

I'm telling you, it's easy to be nice.

We are to call to be kind.

To be kind.

And he says, for as a body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

There's a lot of nice churches.

Very few kind churches.

That's true.

It's true.

Ask yourself, what do you want this church to be?

Do you want it to be nice?

Or do you want it to be kind?

Let's see the kind church.

Turn back to Ephesians chapter 4.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

Ephesians chapter 4.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

What it says in verse 25.

He says, Wherefore?

Put away lying, speaking every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Begins with truth.

Understand that Jesus says, I am the truth.

Then he says in verse 26, first thing, speak truth.

Then verse 26, it says, Be ye angry and sin not.

It says, let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

You know, you hear this and uh you hear it for marriage counseling, different things for couples.

You know, when you first get married, you have struggles, squabbles, whatever it's saying.

If you have an argument or disagreement, don't go to bed mad.

And that's true.

But here, though, it's for our lives.

If you have something's happened to you through the day, someone wasn't very kind to you, forgive them.

Forgive them.

And don't let it fester.

Because what happens when you when things fester, what happens?

It gets worse.

It gets worse.

That's what he's saying, that's what it says in the next verse.

Be angry and sin not.

Let not your son go upon your upon your wrath.

And in verse 27, it says, Neither give place to the devil.

The devil loves it when we hold a grudge.

The devil loves it when we hold a grudge.

We won't forgive.

What?

He's like, oh, that's right.

Man, they wronged you.

They weren't very kind to you.

You do the same thing to them.

Next thing you know, it just festers and gets worse.

It gives the devil a foothold, a foothold in our lives.

And we're not kind as we should be.

And he gives an example in verse 28.

He says, Let him that stole steal no more.

We all make mistakes.

Say things, do things we shouldn't have done.

But we've got to grow to repent and grow.

He says, but rather let him labor, working with his hands, the thing which is good.

And talking about a world today how it wants to hear smooth things.

That's what's so wrong in our world today.

I'm not throwing everybody in it.

But there's a number of people that don't want to work.

That don't want to work.

That's why the Social Security system is on the brink of collapse.

Because the people working today are paying for those that are retired already.

And so there's 10,000 baby boomers retiring a day.

So it's like a big bowl of water.

How do you guys explain it?

Find out if you got to explain it.

So you got this big bowl and it's got the money in it, retirement funds in it.

And you got this spout.

People working, it's the money going in, or taxes every week.

And guess what?

There's more drawing out, so that water's going down rapidly because more are retiring.

And the spout's getting smaller because more people are leaving, the workforce.

And so it's going to become a trickle.

And it's going to be gone.

And it's just, and it's just how people have this mindset.

Well, I don't want to work.

I'll just, whatever the system is going to give me, I'm going to beat the system, I'm going to do whatever.

You're not beating anybody but yourself.

And what's he say?

Labor.

Working with your hands, the thing which is good.

Think about Adam in the garden.

He worked even before sin.

But after sin, guess what?

It became burdensome.

Thorns came up.

He began to sweat.

It was work.

But he says, work with your hands the thing which is good.

Not so you can get wealthy or be rich and hoard it all up.

What's he say?

That he may have to give to him that is in need.

And what is that?

That's kindness.

Kindness.

I tell you, it's easy to see how kind you are in the way you tip.

The way you treat people, I've shared this before.

My two daughter-in-law, my daughter in law, ex-daughter-in-law.

They talked about work, both of them working on Sundays.

And the worst people, the absolute worst people, the rudest people.

One was in a restaurant, one worked at Walmart in electronics for years.

She said the rudest, worst people were the people that just got out of church on Sunday afternoon.

Both of them just shake their heads.

It's just terrible.

We hated work on Sunday afternoon because the people were so terrible, so rude.

Demanded excellent service, wouldn't tip, and then just were just terrible.

It's just so, it's just so wrong.

It's not the witness, it's not being Christ-like, it's not kind.

And the way you give is a measure of your kindness to God and to others.

That's what He says we work.

Why?

We help those in need.

Well, money really makes you stand up, sit up straight, doesn't it?

You get people's attention, man.

Start talking about money, about working and why you work.

Well, look at the next thing.

Says let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.

Wow.

Man, that's something in it.

Especially in our world today.

When everybody's got a thought, everybody's got an opinion, everybody's got a podcast, everybody's got this, everybody's got that.

It's just everywhere.

Everywhere.

And I can honestly say this about my grandpa McDougall.

He was the kindest guy I ever met.

Anything.

Didn't matter.

And I never once, this is no kidding.

Never once heard him say anything bad about anybody.

Ever.

Ever.

It's amazing.

It's incredible.

Really.

I try to catch myself all the time saying, just be quiet.

Just be quiet.

You know the old saying your mom used to teach you?

If you can't say anything good, don't say nothing at all.

It's true.

It's biblical.

Because we can't.

What he says, don't let any corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.

But that which is good to what?

To the use of edifying, which means to lift up, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

He says, and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.

What's it mean to grieve the Holy Spirit?

It's not obeying.

It's grievous.

It grieves him because he's leading us in the right direction.

You're a seal unto the day of redemption.

Obey the Spirit and be blessed.

He says, Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.

And again, it's controlling the tongue.

Then he says in verse 32, and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sakes has forgiven you.

Always remember that.

Always remember that.

So how do we go from being nice to being kind?

Well, let's jump back.

Look at verse 17.

The Apostle Paul says this, inspiration of the Holy Spirit, says, This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord that ye henceforth or from this moment on.

From this moment on, walk not as other Gentiles walk in the vanity of their mind.

It says having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that was in them because of the blindness of their heart.

Our world is blind.

And once the world sees, they want everybody to be nice.

Everybody get along.

They don't want truth.

They're going to celebrate a lie and celebrate sin.

And he talks about how we used to be that.

He says, who being past feelings have given themselves over to lascivitousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.

You think about everything that goes on in our world, the greed, the sinfulness, of the terrible stuff that goes on.

But he says, But ye have not so learned Christ.

He said, if so be that ye have heard him and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus.

It's a manner of life.

Are you a kind person because you realize how kind Christ was to you and is to you?

I love what he says.

We've been taught that we are a new creation.

Verse 22, that you put off concerning the former conversation, which means your old life.

The old man which is corrupt according to deceitful lust.

It says, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, that you may put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

So really I encourage you, be saved, grow in your faith, and be kind, kind, and not nice.

Brother Matt, which come forward.

Everyone, please stand.

Just really think about your walk.

Think about your life.

Think about how God's word is spoken to you, how the Holy Spirit's speaking to you.

And uh, if you're not where you think you need to be, get there today.

Uh it's a prayer.

God's waiting for us to repent, to do the things He'd have us to do.

He's a merciful, forgiving God.

And if you're holding a grudge, you got something going on inside of you that you need to let go of, give it to the Lord.

Jesus says, Cast all your burdens upon me.

So whatever it is you're dealing with or struggling with today, I pray you made it right with the Lord before we leave.

As we