Leading with Integrity

before time had a name. There was a garden, a

place where heaven and earth walked as one. This

is the Echoes of Eden, where we rediscover ancient

roots and awaken to our eternal purpose. podcast

by my father -in -law, and our wife's in the

room too, and our little one. So if there's background

noise, that would be why. But this podcast is

going to be on teaching integrity. So it'll be

primarily on integrity. And I want to open with

the scripture first, and then I'll kind of explain

why I wanted Not to give him a big head or nothing,

but my father -in -law on the podcast for this

one but scripture to go with this Would be you

can find it in Titus 2 7 and 8 and it says above

all set yourself apart as a model of A life nobler

lived with dignity demonstrate integrity and

all that you teach Bring a clear wholesome message

that cannot be condemned and then your critics

will be embarrassed with nothing bad to say about

us So when I come up with this title of integrity,

again, not to give anybody a big head, but this

is something me and Amanda's talked about before.

We've actually had this conversation a few times

that you two have been probably the most Christ

-like people that we have been around. And I

don't tell people that or don't have these conversations

that often, but that's just true. We've talked

about this several times. And one reason we say

that is just with I Don't think I've ever heard

you guys talk a bad word about anybody At any

time even though there's been opportunities at

times I've never we've never heard that and so

when I thought integrity Randy's the first person

that came to mind as far as Men that I've been

around And so that's kind of why I wanted to

do the podcast with you on this one to set the

whole stage up again not to give you a big head

and That's not going to work in this room but

I Have the mic so I can say what I want to Granted

he has a mic too. He's just being quiet And this

one, he's done warned me that, you know, he may

not say anything, but I'm hoping we can get him

to open up a little bit. But so I'll just start

with a question and we'll just roll from that.

In your personal opinion, when you hear the word

integrity, what do you think of? To me, integrity

would be where you're, you try to do what's right.

Be it good for you, bad for you, but you try

to do what's right. And as far as me personally,

where it came from, it'd be my family, up to

a point. Because they always had me in church.

The doors were open when we were there. And my

grandfather was very old school, but he always

maintained that nobody is better than you are,

but you're no better than anybody else. And he

always said that to me or either one of my brothers.

And, you know, my dad, I never really heard him

say anything bad about anybody. He was just like,

this is what we're going to do, and it's because

it's a good thing to do. To me, it's trying to

do right, is what it is. I guess in today's world,

it's hard to find people who don't talk about...

I guess, where we've grown up, it's a lot of

gossip and pointing out everybody else's flaws.

It's difficult to find people who don't do that.

Well, you don't live here, so I have to be honest

with you. You know, I'm not, I don't do that

a lot, but there have been occasions when I have.

But it's because it was like, they didn't do.

what was the right thing to do. And a lot of

times that brings that out in me. I can't stand

inconsiderate people. And most people try to

be, but it seems to me like there are so many

people, whether you're driving, whether you're

walking through Walmart, whatever you're doing,

it's like people have no consideration for anybody

else except them. They're the only person in

the world. And that rubs me so wrong, and you

can ask Gale about that. That just really tears

me up. So it does happen. I'm human. I've been

around a long time. It happens. But it is what

it is. Well, you said something a while ago in

that I have a quote written down here about Integrity

is not perfection. It's alignment when who I

am privately matches who I am publicly and You

opened up a while ago by saying it's doing the

right thing good whether that's good or bad for

you Yeah, and I think it's easy to have integrity

When it's good for you But when it can affect

you negatively You know, it's tough. That's a

tougher it is tough. I mean I Don't know how

to explain it's just it's hard to do you know

in I'm not anywhere near perfect. So, you know,

but still It's it's a very hard thing. It becomes

a lot harder being But One thing I said well

ago is I said, you know, my parents, you know,

my family, up to a point. And that point came

with Gail. She's as good as they get. And she's

always telling me that, you know, Will, this,

you know, they can't help it. They were thinking

of something. You know, she's always kind of.

pulling me back where I need to be. And to be

totally honest with you, she probably saved me

from a life of junk and just made it, I mean,

turned it around in a heartbeat. Just like that.

Yep. Well, you mentioned you learned a lot of

this from your dad and stuff like that. Can you

remember like your first moment of learning kind

of what integrity was or? Was that a I guess

was that a word that was used or just something

that was just kind of instilled It was not a

word that was used. It was an action Mm -hmm,

and you just kind of you know, like we all do

I guess start to mimic things, you know Influences

that come from family members or wherever and

it's just things that happened That you just

you don't remember them You know, nobody sat

me down and said, do this, this, this. It's just,

this is what he did. And, you know, like I said,

it just, I mean, back then it was little things.

You know, we worked in tobacco and we'd work

early in the morning and maybe we'd get done

early one day. So. My grandfather says, okay,

we're going to go over to someone so we can help

them. I'm like, why? Because that's what we do.

You know, we said, you know, if we can help them,

we'll go help them. And then time may come that

they come down and help us if we need help. So

it's just, that's the way you do it. And you

can refer into a Bible verse, I'd refer to, you

know, Want to say it's John where it's like when

you first hear about Do unto others as you have

them yeah and Gail's heard me quote that before

saying you know that that's that's what you Ought

strive for that's what I try for is make sure

that what I do I wouldn't mind having it done

How do you and I know there's generational differences

but I look at the World that we have today and

it seems like this is kind of like a lost concept

in Some like in the younger What's your perception

or your perspective how do you get it back and

maybe you see I still think there's more good

people out there than there is bad people. And

if there is, then there's more people with integrity,

or at least trying to have integrity, than there

are those that aren't. News is news. Being nice

does not news. Most definitely. It always has,

except when I was growing up, there wasn't but...

Three channels and you can't get but two of them

and you know, it was and You know, it's just

you weren't really watching TV like you do today

Too many other things to do I guess because older

I get the more I want to learn yeah, and and

I don't guess I don't guess most people feel

that way but the older I get the more I want

to learn and It's, I mean, it's right there.

I'm not on the phone as much probably as I used

to be, but I still get on there quite a bit.

But it's YouTube or it's Pinterest or certain

subjects I want to see about. Maybe I want to

learn how. Chains are built on a lawnmower that

I have no clue how to do, but then I can watch

it and I know how to do it so There's good and

bad and about anything If they'd never invented

TV, we'd probably be a lot better off but anything

now is instantaneous. Yeah and And you're aware

of things that when I was growing up you were

not aware of whatsoever. None So it's good and

bad in any of it, I guess. That's true. That's

very true. So when I think of integrity, one

of the things I think of is about, especially

as men, is like keeping your word. When you say

you're going to do something, I forget to, I've

heard say this, maybe it's, I don't know, about

letting your yes be a yes, let your no be a no

kind of idea. say you're going to do something,

then don't follow through it. Do you think that's

still a big deal today as far as keeping your

word to it? And do you think that applies to

or ties in with integrity? Well, I think it does

in with integrity, but people have good intentions.

I have good intentions. I don't always follow

through on them. I have good intentions. It's

with like you or Amanda, if I tell you I'll do

something, you let me know when and I will be

there. And I guess it's that way at church nowadays

too, wouldn't you think so? Usually at church

right now, nowadays, if I think that something

that needs to be done, I don't usually call anybody.

I have a bad habit of saying, I'll take care

of it. And I usually do. But back to your question,

it has to do with integrity. It's part of it.

But there are a lot of people with good intentions,

but they have very little time anymore. Know

that feeling I mean really I mean You know people

your age. I don't see how they make it. I Really

don't because I mean there's so much stuff to

do in so little time. Mm -hmm It's in Gail. We're

probably attest to this. We're both retired.

We're like how in the world did we ever work?

Because we stay busy 24 7 and we don't have jobs

don't have jobs It's all the time something in

again. Yes, I mean it just is It's kind of like

what we were talking about Earlier we don't have

anything on our calendar next week the next thing

we know our calendar school. Mm -hmm We didn't

have any plans didn't have any plans Yes make

grumble all the time, but we still take care

of it. Okay, so I'm just curious, I'm playing

the other side for a minute, if you was to flip

that and let's say, because we know you two are

heavily involved in your church, if you was to

be the one to say, yes, we'll take care of it,

but never follow through with it, what kind of

response do you think you would get from people?

in that regard. Because I know there's people

out there that do that. Well, as you said, starting

this off, I don't have a big head, but a lot

of stuff we do people don't know about. They

don't know we do it, do they? They have no clue.

They just know it got done. They don't know who

did it. They don't have a clue. Yep. So I don't

think I can answer that question. I didn't know

I don't know what they don't know what would

be said, but it just we haven't hit that ever

so I don't I don't know what no no just curious

This is gonna go back to earlier when you you're

talking about in here Give you an example I was

about 11 years old had a BB gun. I was always

told don't shoot anything alive So one day I

shot one of my grandma's guineas didn't kill

it, but it broke its leg. So I thought, well,

they were all there at the back of the barn working,

and I was just up there. And I cried all the

way to the back of the barn, because I had to

tell grandma that I shot one of her guineas.

I told her. And she said, basically, you know,

you shouldn't have done that. I said, yep. I'm

sorry, but I did it. She said, okay, so we'll

have guinea pie for dinner tomorrow night. So

she took the sting away and my grandpa always

called me Abe. Abraham Lincoln according to him

because I'd rather, I'd tell him the truth even

if it got me a spanking. But, you know, if you're

doing it right for what you want, you know, you're

doing it because you want to do something right

and you tell the truth about something, good

or bad, if you're telling the truth, you usually

come out on the better end. Yep. Oh, I'm not

smart enough to do that. It gets complicated

in a hurry. but it's it's interesting because

especially with us having these three um i'm

trying to not we see both sides of the industry

and stuff when you have the kids to do something

not everybody's gonna do that hey this is what

i did um do you go and do you think of something

that was instilled in you growing up as far as

you always just I think it was one of those things

where I learned the hard way. Did I be better

off telling the truth? Yeah, because if I found

out I didn't tell them the truth, then I'd really

have problems. their reactions the girls more

so than Aiden but there's time that they do something

wrong they're afraid to come tell me about it

because they're afraid of the response they're

going to get because there was a previous time

not too long ago that I feel like I would have

flipped my wheel a little bit quicker. And so

now I'm seeing their ability and Amanda helped,

you know, just telling what you did and whatever.

And when they get that, it's okay response. They're

more apt to continue telling me, because that's

what I want as they grow up. But especially as

Kaylin, if she becomes a teenager, I want them

to come to me when they have these issues and

be kind of like the honest Abe mentality of,

yeah, I did this and it might hurt on the other

end, but that's what you want. So it's like,

how do you, how do you instill that into your

kids to not make them run? Cause I feel like

me growing up, I had the more of the idea of

I'm going to go run and hide instead of can tell

you what I did. Because I didn't know what the

response was going to be. If that makes any sense.

Yeah. Well, you got to start early as far as

kids. And I've heard Gail on several occasions

explaining that if you don't tell me the truth,

I can't fix what's wrong. Yes. And if you don't

tell me the truth, then I don't know when to

believe you. ever. Yeah. That if, you know, something

could be very, very wrong, but do I believe you?

Or are you telling me another lie? You know,

and, and Gail makes that plain. She makes it

plain and simple that we don't, we don't do that.

Yeah. Because it's, you, nobody can help you

if they can't believe you. So. That's a good

point. Very good point. When have you felt your

integrity tested the most? If you can think of

a time. I'm sure it has a whole lot, but I don't,

don't really know right off hand being quite

frank. I don't, don't know for sure. So just

to give you a heads up. So I'm trying to do this

a couple of these episodes in about 30 minutes,

keeping on 30 minutes. We've already been talking

23 minutes. So that actually It goes by really

fast when you just start talking. We'll do a

couple questions to start winding it down. And

I think this is good for you as a dad and a rah

-rah. How do you want your kids and grandkids

to describe your character one day? I guess a

follow -up would be how would you model that

to make sure that's what they say about your

character? Well probably on the way they'll ever

be able to be the memories of so it'd be I Think

they'd probably say that I help whenever I can

Always trying to teach something. That's a tough

question. You got any thoughts? Me? That wasn't

very nice. Well, I think if I can demonstrate

what was demonstrated to me, that would be the

thing. That if I can explain in doing stuff with

them that, you know, we don't do that, you know,

and maybe if I have some sort of example why

we don't, that'd be great, but usually all I

do is we don't do stuff like that. Yeah. It's

just, it's a teaching thing. So that would, oh

lordy. You must have stayed up late trying to

answer that question. I would hope they would

think back when they get grown that yeah, he

was a good guy. And that's, and I guess that's

what I've always said that I'm not special, but

I'm okay. And so if they can say that I was an

okay guy, I'd be good. Um. Integrity or good

example of that. Well, how would you? You didn't

have an example for. If they were looking for.

Which I'm assuming someone had to be looking

for. what integrity was to figure out that they

needed something they don't have. Then it's find

the place where it's comfortable. Find a person

you're comfortable with and just stick like glue

and it'll come out. You'll be able to tell. Because

I kind of always look at things, you know, with

people. Because I've been around all kinds of

people, all types, good, bad, indifferent. But

I kind of look at it like, okay, they're trying.

And if God can forgive them, I don't have a problem

forgiving them. So let's just take it from there

and go. That's big. That's what you need to,

that's what I would think somebody would need

to do is find a place where they're comfortable

and then, and the person that they've watched

for a while to make sure that's what they're

wanting. And then it's just like taking on a

mentor. Just go ahead and go. And learn from

that person and learn from that person and then

to The Bible is good As long as you don't try

to interpret everything You know read it for

what it is But don't try to interpret step because

whenever people try to interpret the Bible they're

always doing it from their viewpoint. You can't

do it that way because my viewpoint and your

viewpoint are totally different. Totally different.

Because that comes from your experiences in life

and you can't do it. I don't say anybody can

do it and interpret it without having their their

environment and whatever else Yeah, that's right

and and I think it's interesting to Some of the

people I listen to and it's so true as far as

church world goes in the Bible it's like Our

culture has made the Bible a part of the Trinity

And that's not where it was supposed to be It's

not part of the Father Son Spirit it's It's good

and you know, I love the Bible but I've seen

the flip side of what kind of what you just said

I've seen the flip side of the the church world

where we can just take the scripture and beat

people up with it and take the scripture and

Again give your own bias to it and everything

else and hurt people more than help people and

that's yeah, that's just It's not a weapon to

be used like that No, it's not. Probably if you

looked at every holy book there has been written,

okay, the Bible, the Koran, I can't remember

some of the others, but you see what I'm saying

is not books that man sit down and just wrote

for somebody to read. And I'm talking about a

religious book that's the center of a different

religion most all of them probably um center

on love and you know that's that's it you like

i said do unto others as you'd have to do and

love that neighbor and i think your integrity

is pretty well intact Good point I'll ask question.

I'll see how long you should do on this one I

think you can stay true to yourself up to a point.

Okay. When you get married, two become one. One,

yeah. And so that self kind of gets a backseat

because then it's sales. And they can be merged

and work out fantastic. or somebody can try to

hold on to theirs. And it goes like crazy. Staying

true to yourself is if you've got a good concept

of what, how you want life to be. And if you're

single, then you can reach for that. But once

you get married, then it's got to be a goal of

both. And it's got to be, it can't be, it can't

be like your wife going to you and saying, okay,

what are we gonna do with this, this, this, this,

this, okay? And it can't be the husband going

to the wife saying, what are we gonna do with

this, this, this, this, you know? And it goes

more ways than one. It's got to kind of be a

team in there. But to stay true to yourself.

is know what your values are. Check those values

against your religion, beliefs in God, and that

type of thing. And if everything kind of gels,

then you can stay that course. Because you won't

be interested in anything that'll take you off

that course. If you don't have some sort of course,

then you're liable to say, well, Let's see what

this does. Let's see what this one over here

does. Hey, there's a new one I haven't tried.

Let me try that. But if you've got your course

and you know, like I said before, it jives with

the path you're on and the religion that you're

in. If all that is there, you won't be interested

in it. Anything else? You'll know what you're

about? Yep. That's good. I like that. That was

a good answer. You know, you're stretching me

a whole lot. I like this. See, it wasn't even

that bad. This is the end of the show right here.

This is the complete end. It wasn't even that

bad. You didn't answer them. Well, you answered

them with really good, again, not to build up

anything, but you answered them with really a

lot of wisdom. Again, I don't I don't see myself

as having a lot of wisdom. Yeah You may not but

we do and I say this I think I can speak for

both Amanda and I and speak to both of you that

and I'm not the one to say how I feel a lot of

times but It's it's it's a true statement for

me. Y 'all are two of the most Christlike people

that I've ever encountered And it's that that's

just from someone who's grown up in church, you

know, given a different definition for me in

my life. So it's a good one. That's that's why

when I need to come up with integrity, I was

like, you're a perfect person for that. So talk

about that a little bit. So I appreciate you

doing it very much so. You're welcome. Makes

you think. It does.