It’s Complicated – Putting Emotions in Their Place

This podcast is presented to you by Pastor Jason and Liz Burns in Access Church in Lakeland and Bartow, Florida.

For more information, visit Access.tv.

I get to close out the It's Complicated series, which I'm very, very excited about.

It has have you enjoyed the series?

Yeah, good, good.

I'm glad to hear it.

I hope you have all enjoyed it.

It's been a blessing to you and it has been to me.

And uh today I get to close it out.

So let's get to work.

Let's do this.

Um, Jason and I have been married now for 21 amazing years.

Um yeah.

Shout out to that.

We still love each other and we still like each other, which is very hard to accomplish.

But I I mean, I do, I speak for myself.

But um, but we recently found something that almost broke our marriage.

And it was, it wasn't a secret.

As soon as we started dating, I knew that my man loves steak.

He loves steak.

Any steak lovers in the house, any carnivores, North Lakeland, I know y'all love steak because I live there.

Um, but one thing that we immediately disagreed upon is Jason orders his steak basically fresh off the cow.

I mean, he's like, do it medium rare.

And that's how he all orders it.

And I find that disgusting.

Um, and I'm gonna go ahead and admit my shame to y'all today that I order my steak well done.

Oh my gosh.

Number one.

Hey, none of y'all gotta eat it that way, so let me live.

He has literally been trying to convert me to medium rare for 21 years.

Uh, and it has not worked.

I think that's just how I was raised.

But okay, so what happened was a month ago is I just we were out somewhere and I just like kind of casually said, I don't think I really like steak that much.

And I mean, I might as well have told him I was stepping out on him.

He was that hurt, that hurt to hear that.

And I was like, he has taken me to some like exquisite steakhouses where they come out, they introduce you to the cow and its mother, and like they're like, this cow was massaged for 35 years.

I'm like, I don't, I don't care.

I don't just go and make it into a piece of brick for me.

I don't, I don't care.

Um, so I said that to him and it broke his whole soul.

He's like still bringing that up in conversation.

He's like, Do you know Liz doesn't like steak?

I'm like, who cares?

I think it's because I'm more of a sides girly.

Like, if we go to these steakhouses, I'm like, what are the sides?

We get cheesy potatoes.

I'm in, okay?

I'm in.

It's kind of like that at Thanksgiving.

You may have noticed, uh, I don't know anybody who's like crazy about turkey, but I love me some sweet potato casserole.

And I, yeah, everybody's hungry.

I love green bean casserole.

I even like the uh cranberry come right out the can, got the rings around it, you know.

That's the best way to eat it.

I used to tell my kids it was jello.

That's how I got them to eat it.

I'm like, jello.

They're like, that, what is that?

It's not jello, but you know, secrets out.

Um, so and the thing is that the sides are good, but they're not technically meant to be the main thing, right?

Like the sides are meant to enhance the main thing.

Like when you have Thanksgiving and they put that cranberry out, it's because you're supposed to put a little bit of cranberry on your turkey and it's supposed to like enhance the flavors.

And the reason I bring all that up as a sides girly is today I want to talk about emotions in relationships.

And remotions are great, but they were never meant to be the main thing.

They were kind of meant to be the sides.

And yet, everywhere I look, we have been elevating emotion to a place of leadership.

We'll say things like, follow your heart, follow your heart.

We say things like, I need my emotional support water bottle, I need my emotional support blanket, I need my emotional support, Coke Zero.

I have my emotional support, French bulldogs.

They're not actual emotional support animals, but I feel emotional about them.

So they are good to me.

Um and we've we've really raised emotions to a place they were really never meant to be.

Emotions were meant to be the sides.

And our faith in God and the truth of God's word was meant to be the main thing.

But over and over again, I see people elevating emotion to a place above God's truth.

And that's why I think a lot of times we feel kind of out of whack.

And so if you've been in the series this time and gone, well, I'm not married, so it didn't apply to me, or this and that, today I hope it's for everybody, because I'm just gonna talk about emotions as they sort of interact with our relationship with God and our relationships with others.

That could be to a parent, to a spouse, to a friend.

We all have emotions, they're unavoidable.

And I want to kind of go to the Bible and talk about this.

I want to free some people up today by starting and saying that we have permission to feel God created us as emotional beings.

Uh, Jesus was emotional.

How buddy people are excited to have had a savior who knows what it's like to be a human and to feel emotions.

And you may be like, Jesus wasn't emotional.

He was.

He was.

You may have seen Jesus in the New Testament when he was angry.

He went into his father's house and he's like, You've turned this into a from a house of prayer to a mall, basically, right?

So he flips the tables, that's anger.

And we know Jesus didn't sin, right?

So he was angry, but he didn't sin.

We know that scripture will tell us over and over, Jesus would look at the crowds and he was moved with compassion for them.

That's an emotion.

We're gonna get into that.

And I like knowing that I have a Savior who was emotional, but Jesus always took his emotions and surrendered them to God.

Even when the disciples said, Jesus, teach us how to pray.

He's like, Well, this is how you pray.

You say, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, but you say, Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

So he had emotions, but they were always submitted to God, and he kept that in the proper order.

We get out of whack when we put those out of order.

So I think of it like this emotions are symptoms, okay?

You ever get a fever, and so you start treating it, you take Tylenol, whatever, but you're not, the sickness isn't that you have a fever.

The fever is a representation of what else is going on in your body, right?

You have a cold, you have the flu, you have pneumonia, you have COVID, something's going on in your body.

So you treat the fever, but the fever is just a symptom of the deeper thing that's going on.

And you can't just treat a fever and expect to get well.

You have to treat the root cause, right?

Emotions are that way.

Emotions go off, and they're signals telling us, like, hey, something's going on here.

But we treat emotions as the main thing when they were never intended to be that way.

And I'll say it like this, and actually, Pastor Aaron Burke said it this way last week, and I was like, oh, please don't take my whole message.

I was so scared.

But he said something similar, and I fully agree.

He said emotions make terrible leaders.

Some of you have wondered why your life feels very up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down.

And the reason is maybe because you've let your emotions be doing the leading in your life above God's truth.

Uh, I think I am very equipped to tell this message today because I talk, uh, I refer to myself as a emotionally, uh a recovering emotional addict.

So some people are addicted to like drugs, alcohol, food, whatever.

For many years I was addicted to my emotions.

Meaning, if I felt something, I thought, that must be true.

So I just went with it, woke up feeling sad.

Well, then I'm gonna be sad.

And I'd give all into that.

I didn't realize for years I had a choice in my emotions that I could separate emotion and truth.

And I think I want to free up a lot of people today because I think some of you became a Christian and thought your emotions would go away.

Like, well, I'm a Christian now, so I won't struggle with anger anymore.

I won't have fear, I won't have anxiety, and yet you have just as many, if not more, emotions as ever.

And I want to free people up today to know just because you become a believer, your emotions don't leave.

Your emotions aren't uh sinful, they're actually God given.

You have an emotional savior, but they have to be in their right place.

I always tell people, you can keep them in the car, just don't let them drive.

You know what I'm saying?

Emotions make terrible leaders.

So I want to talk to you about this today.

Uh I want to say maybe the reason that in your Christian life you've felt struggle is you're going, why do I always like I look at somebody else, they have really strong faith, but I still feel all the ups and downs.

I want to free you.

That's completely normal.

You have permission to fail, all those things, but you have to submit it unto the will of God.

So I want to look at the Bible today and look at examples of people who were emotional and some did good things with it, some did really bad things with it.

And I want to start number one with this emotion of anger.

And we're gonna look at the story of Cain and Abel, two famous brothers.

I have no stranger to anger, unfortunately.

I have talked to you guys before about it.

It's funny because I'm either like the happiest person you'll either meet, but if anger can flash pretty fast, okay?

And I've talked to you about my road rage before.

I would love to stand up here and give a testimony that God has delivered from me, you know, from road rage.

As of the time of this recording, he has not.

But that's just my flesh.

Um, like I am very spiritual.

I could be listening to Christian podcasts, Christian book, Christian music.

But if like you cut me off or something happens, something rises in me, it's evil, it's ugly.

And I know that Lakeland is small, so I know it might be you.

So I don't do nothing with my hands, no gestures, but in my head, I am not saying nice things about you.

I wish I could deal with that better.

My kids being in the car has humbled me greatly.

They're like, call you out on it, which is incredibly rude.

I'm like, you don't even I gave, I made you, be quiet.

Like you're just very irritated and irrational.

Um, but anger is a feeling that is completely unavoidable if you live more than two seconds on planet Earth, right?

Let's talk about some people in the Bible and how they dealt with anger pretty badly.

Uh, Cain and Abel were the first sons, right?

They were the children of the first parents, Adam and Eve.

And it we're gonna tell a story of uh what they went through and and where they where it brought them.

So we're gonna read in Genesis.

Now Abel, he kept the flocks and Cain worked the soil.

So Abel's like the butcher, and Cain is like the gardener.

In the course of time, Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord.

He brought some of, remember that.

And Abel also brought an offering, fat portions from some of the firstborn of his fox.

So I'll stop there.

So I think sometimes we read the Bible, we don't fully understand what we're reading.

Like, why?

What's the big deal?

Why was God so mad about like they both brought an offering, who cares?

But it talks about Abel bringing the first, and Cain bringing some, and we treat God that way.

And as a side note, we talk about this with giving a lot.

That's why my husband and I have made a just our own sort of dedication that our tithe comes out on the first, just like we want to tell God we're serious, you get our first.

But that's in everything in life.

So some of you have been giving God your leftovers at the end of the day.

Oh, I got five minutes left, let me give it to God.

Like God wants your first, and he is pretty serious about it, as is shown in this story.

But it goes on.

And so it says the Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering because it was the first.

But on Cain and his offering, he didn't look with favor.

So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

And the Lord said to Cain, Hey, why are you angry?

Why is your face downcast?

If you do what is right, like bring your first, will you not also be accepted?

But if you do not do what is right, and I highlighted this because I want us to remember this sin is crouching at your door.

It desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

So Cain's angry, right?

And he does this.

He says, he goes, one day Cain says to his brother Abel, let's let's go out to the field.

And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Okay.

Cain has this anger problem, obviously does not put this in the right outlet, and takes his anger and turns it into something completely toxic.

He kills his brother Abel.

This this story says a lot of things to me.

It's showing me that Cain was guided by his emotions.

He could have gone into this situation and been like, I'm really upset with this.

Well, God's gonna teach me now how to humble myself and live more in proper balance with his emotion.

No, he doesn't.

It also says to me uh that anger itself is not a sin.

If you don't believe that, let me prove it to you in the Bible, in the book of Ephesians.

It says, in your anger, so because it starts with in your anger, there's a presupposition that you're gonna get angry.

In your anger, do not sin.

Okay, so fact number one, we can be angry and not sin, but do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

Okay, so you can be angry and not sin, but often anger is the opportunity that sin is looking for.

Remember, we read the verse, and God says to Cain, Sin is crouching at your door.

What does that mean?

Okay, the Bible tells us that we have an enemy, the devil, who is going around like a prowling lion looking for a way to get like a foot in the door.

It's called a foothold in the Bible, but that just means like, how can he get in?

And anger seems to be, for a lot of us, me included, the vehicle that he knows he can take us off track with and make that sin and turn it into sin.

A lot of you know this because you've been angry about things and you notice it's the thing you like churn over in your mind.

Like, I never sleep good on Saturday nights.

That's just like the curse of being in ministry.

But last night, something got in my head, and then it becomes bigger and bigger and bigger because you're letting that anger just boil up.

And it's, I can see how anger becomes that opportunity for sin to take hold because you're in there and you're going, like, what am I doing?

So anger itself, not a sin.

Mismanagement of anger, absolutely a sin.

So look at think about this in relation to in regards to your relationships, right?

A lot of times you're gonna get angry with your friends, your children, your spouse, and there's nothing wrong with that.

You can communicate, express anger.

What happens is it goes from let's talk about these issues, to you know what, you are the reason, and you start attacking the person.

I feel like that's where it starts to cross the line.

Being angry, it's gonna be unavoidable, but anger is actually uh the way that the enemy can get a foothold.

He can come in, and when that anger is left untreated, it turns toxic.

Look at Cain.

Look what happened there.

Now, maybe you haven't gone out and killed somebody.

I hope not.

If not, we have officers here, be very scared.

Um, but maybe you haven't gone out and killed somebody, but certainly you've felt anger and let it turn from an angry thought into an angry attack verbally or something where you're then judging that person, you're looking at them in your mind, you're doing these things.

I want to talk about another emotion.

I want to talk about fear and doubt, and we're gonna look at the life of Gideon.

Gideon is an incredible story in the Bible.

I also feel highly equipped to uh tell this story about fear and doubt because I've been a believer my whole life.

I mean, my parents are pastors, my grandparents were pastors, I married a pastor whose parents were pastors.

We're very pastoral here, okay?

It's like what we do, we're like professional Christians, but I have faced every bit of fear, anxiety, depression, and doubt.

You're not exempt from those things just because you become a believer.

And Gideon, he goes through this.

By the way, that's I hope an encouragement to somebody today.

I need somebody to know in this room that just because you have faced fear, it doesn't mean you're not filled with faith as well.

You can, those things can coexist.

And we're gonna talk more about that.

But let me tell you about Gideon.

So, Gideon, he is uh one of the judges talked about in the Old Testament.

So before they had kings, the children of Israel had judges.

They wanted a king, but first God gave them these judges, and Gideon is one of those.

But Gideon and the people of Israel are under attack from the Midianites, the people of Midian.

And so God sends an angel to go call Gideon and be like, let's go lead the people against the Midianites, let's defeat them.

And Gideon, when the angel comes, is actually hiding out in a wine press because he's afraid.

He's filled with fear.

And the angel comes to him and is like, Gideon, you're gonna rescue the children of Israel from the Midianites, and let's pick it up in Judges and see what he says.

He says, Uh, pardon me, my lord, Gideon replied, but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?

Can I pause there and ask if anybody can relate to that?

You ever have a moment where you're like, I accepted Jesus?

Why am I facing so many trials?

Why aren't the bills still paid?

Why am I still facing depression?

Why do my children still need healing?

Whatever it is, if you've never uttered that to God, I don't think you've been a Christian more than a day, right?

It's a very real thing to say, hey God, if you're so with us, why is this happening?

Why is this allowed?

But notice, Angel is still talking to Gideon, just Gideon's doubt, not a sin.

Just humanity.

So he keeps going and he says, uh, where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?

But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hands of Midian.

Have you ever felt that?

Have you ever felt abandoned by the Lord?

And you watch every other person's life seem to be blessed.

And you're hanging out here holding on for dear life, trying to get by.

So then not only does Gideon say all those things like, God, where were you?

But the Bible will tell you further.

It's an incredible story that I wish I had time to tell you the whole thing.

Please read it this week in Judges.

But when the angel came to Gideon, you know what he calls him?

He says, God is with you, mighty warrior.

Mighty warrior.

Meanwhile, the dude is hanging out, hiding in a wine press because he's so afraid.

And he says, Where have you been?

But God calls him a mighty warrior.

Not only that, Gideon goes on, once God tells him through the angel the plan to rescue the people, Gideon's like, Okay, if this is really you, I'm gonna need a sign.

I'm gonna need a sign.

He does this thing with a wet fleece where he's like, if I wake up and it's wet, it's you.

He asks it again, if I wake up and it's dry, it's you.

He really has doubts.

And how many of you have asked God for a sign?

God, if he's the one, Lord, let him tell me my eyes are pretty.

He picks you up, honks the horn, he doesn't even get in.

You're like, God, close enough.

But just asking for a sign is also not a sin.

See, I don't think you've lived until you've asked God why.

Now you may not get the actual answer why.

There's a lot of things that happen in this world that I do not understand.

And I may not know the why until heaven, right?

Or I may not care then, because I'm in the presence of Jesus and everything is perfect.

But it isn't a sin to doubt.

Say it like this: the presence of fear or doubt, it doesn't negate your faith.

Maybe you came in today feeling like Gideon, who said, Hey man, I'm the weakest in my clan, my clan's the smallest.

Like, why me?

Why me?

But nothing that you have felt fear for negates your faith.

Can I actually say it like this?

Sometimes doing things afraid is actually like the most brave thing you can do.

Like this, doing this is not my comfort zone.

I love people, I don't mind talking in front of people, but I was always trained to sing.

Like I could come up here and sing to you for three hours.

I wouldn't even think twice about it.

But when I do this, I get very nervous.

This morning I was anxious, tested my best friend.

I was like, pray for me.

I asked Jason to pray for me.

I asked my daughter Ella to pray for me.

She's 11, and you know what she said?

She said, God help mama slay all day.

I was like, period, and I've always said that, okay?

That's my anticipation.

Um when you do it afraid, you're taking what could have been an opportunity for sin and you're turning it into a victory.

Because you're telling the enemy, I may feel a lot of things right now.

I feel fear, I feel doubt.

I feel so confused, but I'm gonna do this anyway because I have decided to make the truth of God's word higher than the truth of my feelings in my life.

See, it's not a sin to feel fear.

It's a sin when you elevate it above the word of God.

I'll say it like that.

Fear isn't a sin, but the elevation of fear above faith can lead to sin.

What do I mean?

You've made fear an idol that you trust more than the word of God.

And so feeling the fear is okay.

Bowing to the fear is a sin.

What do I mean?

I mean there's a lot of things I don't necessarily have full faith to do, but I'm gonna do them anyway.

This summer, a group of 12 of us from Access, 12 women are going to Kenya to put on a known conference for the orphans and widows in Kenya.

Yeah, we are.

We're gonna slay all day, all the way to Kenya.

I don't know.

I was hoping that would keep going.

I have never been to Kenya.

I don't, I'm kind of an anxious traveler, if I'm incredibly honest with you.

But I'ma go because God's waiting there for us, and He has deemed us fit to even minister to those women.

I better say yes, thank you, Lord, for this opportunity.

And I will go, and I will be on that plane for hours and hours, and we will do it.

And it's gonna be incredible.

I know it is.

Because fear itself isn't a sin.

But bowing to that fear, placing it above God.

And please let me speak with all compassion as someone who has fully faced.

Fear, anxiety, OCD.

Let me tell you, you are not weak.

I used to feel so weak when I'd go to my husband.

He's very, very stable.

I think that's why God put us together.

I'm insane and he's mentally well.

I used to go to him and be like, How are you so stable?

Don't you feel afraid?

But I know God has made me me.

And I know my compassion that comes from those things is a great awareness that God needs in me to use me.

And we joke that he's the head of access, but I'm the heart, right?

Because I'll be like, wait, we need to stop and think about these people.

Let's think, what about this?

What about that?

You know?

So I don't despise that, but I also don't bow to it.

I feel the fear, but I keep going, right?

Okay, let's talk about one more.

Aren't you glad God is patient with our doubts?

He never disqualified Gideon for asking all those things.

He doesn't disqualify you either.

When you're like, Lord, help me show yourself to me.

Sorry, I have to keep going on that because there's one thing.

Like, sometimes you're asking God to show himself to you, and maybe he already has.

And maybe you missed it.

Maybe he showed himself to a way in you and you've forgotten.

Maybe you need to stop asking God to do what you say and ask him to show you himself in a way you would never even think of.

And then it's undeniable.

And then, friend, write it down.

I tell my kids this all the time.

Write it down when you meet with Jesus because you will have those days where you doubt.

And you go back to your journal and go, oh my gosh, remember when God met me so specifically?

The Old Testament is filled with this word remember, because the children of Israel would like watch the Red Sea be parted and then forget a day later and try to make a gold statue to worship.

We laugh at them, but we do the same thing.

Like God meets us, He answers our prayers, and then the next day we're like, I don't know if He's real.

Write it down, my friend.

Encourage your heart, remember, tell your story.

That actually encourages their faith and yours when you remember all of his goodness.

Okay, that was free.

I didn't say that in the first service.

Yo wokes.

Okay.

Third emotion.

I want to land here for a minute, is grief.

And the example is Jesus.

Jesus had many moments where he struggled with emotion.

You can say struggle because he's perfect, right?

But I think about the night before Jesus was about to be crucified.

And he cries in the garden and he prays to God, please take this cup from me.

Please.

But then he says, Well, nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.

He gives us the perfect example of grief.

The story I want to land in is um a story of Jesus and like his best friend Lazarus.

I think sometimes people think they were acquaintances.

Jesus and Lazarus were close.

In fact, when Jesus was crucified, the week leading up to that, we know from theologians that the uh government actually also went after Lazarus because he was an associate of Jesus.

So they were well known to be close.

And Jesus is out doing ministry and he hears that his friend Lazarus is sick.

And he doesn't go immediately.

He stays two more days and then he's like, let me go on my way and heal Lazarus.

Because if you're a person in that day, you know Jesus does miracles, you know Lazarus is Jesus' best friend, so surely Jesus will heal Lazarus.

But as Jesus is on his way to Lazarus, Lazarus dies.

Which is incredibly strange to me, right?

I would not have planned it that way.

That doesn't make any sense to me.

I'd feel so betrayed if I was Lazarus.

I'm like, you did all this for all these people, but I lay here dying and you can't come get me.

So Jesus reaches the place where Lazarus is buried.

He's been in the tomb for days.

And two words John 11, 35, that have given me freedom in my life.

Jesus wept.

Jesus wept.

We know, but Jesus is perfect.

We know he has perfect love.

So what does that mean?

That means that even perfect love expresses emotion.

Jesus didn't rush past that moment to the moment of victory.

He could have run in like on a horse and be like, I'm here, get out of the tomb, Lazarus.

Why does he stop to cry?

That's crazy to me.

Maybe he knew that there'd be people like me who would read the scripture years later and go, is it even okay to be sad about the Lord?

I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength, but this is really bad what just happened.

Can I feel this sadness?

He gives you permission in that moment to grieve.

He says it's not a sin to grieve.

Emotion when it's anchored in truth and love can actually strengthen your relationship.

So sometimes I think we think relationships are all like flowers and rainbows, but sometimes the most loving thing you can do to a friend, to a child, to a spouse is to tell them the truth in love, right?

That's the most loving thing you can do because if not, you just sort of let emotions go on and things get more and more and more built up.

Sometimes it's very loving to be like, I love you, but this hurt me.

Or I love you, but what you're doing isn't right.

So I think actually watching Jesus grieve showed me that he wants us to have empathy.

Some of the most amazing friendships I have in my life are because we bonded over something traumatic.

And it doesn't have to be the same exact thing.

Like you guys know I had cancer at 23.

Um, but sometimes I meet someone and they had like a rough childhood, but we just bond over that shared grief.

Why?

Because that brings us together, it makes us empathetic.

I've been through hard times.

Not as much as some of you, but uh when Jason and I, it was 2012, we got pregnant for the third time, our first daughter, and we were so excited, and I went all the way through the pregnancy to six months, and then I had to deliver her, stillborn.

And I remember after we got out of the hospital, I had to deliver her fully in the hospital, same floor as the other babies being born.

And we got home and I hated feeling sad.

So I remember thinking I better rush past this and be okay.

I remember I got back to church that Sunday, and people would be like, and look at me and kind of like they didn't know how to react to me, and so I felt bad that they felt bad, so I wanted to be okay so that they wouldn't feel bad.

Anybody know what I'm talking about?

So I sort of pushed my grief away and I was like, I'll just go on.

I like to be happy.

Like, for the most part, I am a truly joyful person.

But I realized I had never grieved, and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I started crying, and I was like, I'm really sad, but what else am I supposed to be right now?

I just went through something hard.

And Jesus wept, and I will weep now.

And Jesus didn't stay there weeping, he got up after a moment and he said, Lazarus, come forward.

And he brought his friend from death to life.

And I didn't stay in grief every day, but I did honor that.

See, we we rush past things, we rush to acceptance, but we have a God who sits with us in our silence and in our sorrow and in our suffering.

Have you heard of the Jewish practice of sitting Shiva?

It means when somebody goes through a loss, you just go to their house and you just sit with them.

You don't have to throw a Christian platitude at them for the love of God, as somebody who has been through both the loss of a child and cancer.

Stop telling people God has a plan when they lose someone.

You don't want to be told that, and neither do they.

God does have a plan, but it's not time for that right now.

Right now we'll cry together.

How about that?

Right now I just bring you some spaghetti.

Right now I'll just come and clean your floors.

How about that?

If you ever want help with that process, please ask me.

Because nobody wants to be told you're grieving too much and it's upsetting me.

See, emotion, it's not the enemy of relationship, but misuse of emotion is.

That's where we have missed it.

Instead of saying, I'm angry, but I want to talk about it, we say I'm angry and we get violent, or I'm angry and I shut down.

Or we have doubt, but we let that doubt turn into shaping our truth instead of still standing on the truth of God, even when I don't feel it.

I remember after we lost the baby, I remember going into a counselor's office and going, I'm stuck in the cycle of why.

I don't know why this happened.

Why get pregnant if it's gonna end this way?

And I thought, I'm never gonna get out of this cycle of why, because there's never gonna be a sufficient answer for why.

You could say, Well, you have Ellen now, maybe you wouldn't have had her.

I don't care, I would have loved them both.

That's not for anyone to say, anyways.

The only thing that got me out of the cycle of why was looking at God one day and going, I don't understand you, but I will trust you.

I will trust that the God who died for me has my back, has my best interest at heart.

So emotions are not sin.

Some of you in this room have been told to conquer your emotions.

Man up, woman up.

It's a sin to show emotions.

No, you have a God who is led by compassion, who wept over the friend he was about to raise.

Emotions aren't sin, but they have to be expressed properly.

Like Cain and Abel, they didn't express that properly, right?

Emotions aren't sin, but they have to not only be expressed properly, but be second to God, like Gideon.

He heard God's voice and he questioned it.

But also the end of the story is after he asked God for his signs, he went.

Him and the worship team, they defeated the Midianites.

So even though he felt afraid, he stepped out.

An emotion isn't sin, but it has to be submitted, like Jesus.

He goes the night before he's about to die, and he goes, God, please take this cup from me.

But then he, what does he say?

He says, Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.

It's okay to even pray your emotions, but at the end of that prayer, you say, God, not as I will, but as you will.

Emotions are God given.

Some of you feel a certain type of way about certain problems in the world.

Hungry children move your heart.

So every year when we do our donations for kids' pack, you go, I better get all those applesauces.

I'm gonna wipe them clean.

Some of you see the homeless and your heart gets moved.

My daughter Ella is like that.

She'll be like, Mom, let's stop for that homeless person.

And I'm like, honestly, I'm like, oh, we're two women alone.

I don't have any cash.

She's like, I have cash, let's give it to him.

I'm like, okay.

And I will never stop that in her because God put that in her, and God forbid I be the one to harden her heart.

The world will do that on its own.

So I will encourage her compassion and I will join her and I will be challenged by it.

Some of you are moved by injustice, some of you are moved by causes.

Those are God-given things.

You have permission to feel, but emotions aren't the leaders, they aren't the ultimate truth.

Some of you have wondered why your life is so up and down.

Who is leading your life?

Is it God or is it your emotions?

You wake up feeling happy, your day is happy.

You wake up feeling sad, your day is sad.

What if I told you there's another way?

What if you can wake up in the truth of God's word?

So good days come, bad days come, but no matter what, you are standing on the solid rock of Jesus because you have decided to let his word be your emotional truth and not the feelings that you're feeling.

I want to free somebody up today.

Make peace with your emotions.

They're not your enemy, but they're not your leader either.

Let's bow our heads, because I want to pray for some in this room today.

I told somebody else, I hope this message is a conversation starter.

I hope you'll take this and discuss it in small groups and over coffee and be like, where have I been?

Have I balanced my emotions well?

Have I been letting them lead, or have I been letting God lead?

So, God, today in this room, all across this place, we have different levels of where we stand with you, of our relationship with our emotions.

But God, today we want to submit them to you.

For some of us today, we're unlocking spaces and places in our heart that we have locked off because we thought it was sinful to feel anger.

We thought it was sinful to doubt.

But God, you're bigger than my emotions, and you're big enough to meet me when I come to you with my problems.

So I thank you for setting us free this week, God.

I pray that hearts are being set free all across this room.

But also as we pray, I would be remiss if I didn't know that there's people in this room who haven't even started a relationship with Jesus.

Or there's people in this room who it's been so long you don't even remember a time when Jesus was the leader of your heart and not everything that passed through your mind.

Right now in this room, no one is looking, but I want to give everyone a chance today who needs it to start or restart a relationship with Jesus so they can begin to live their life on that rock of his truth.

If that's you with no one looking in this room, you want to pray that prayer today to start or restart that relationship.

Will you just lift your hand?

Only I can see it.

Yep.

Yeah, I see you.

Thank you.

I see you, thank you, I see you, thank you.

I see you, thank you.

Do this with me.

Will you pray this out loud with me?

No one here prays this aloud.

Say, dear God, come on louder than that.

Everybody together, dear God, thank you for Jesus.

Thank you that I can stand on his truth.

Thank you that my heart is yours today.

I ask Jesus to lead my life.

I thank you for dying for me.

I receive your forgiveness of my sins.

Come and live in my heart today.

You be my leader, and I will follow all the days of my life.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Friends, today we just had people pray that prayer.

Come on, let's celebrate that.

Let's go! It's amazing.