Colossians 3:18-21 | Christ In Our Homes

Well, I am down here today because our kids are down here, right?

Um, and we I I I kind of like being on eye level with you guys.

I can keep an eye on you, and you can be keep an eye on me, right?

And uh I I asked Bennett this morning, he had a uh lollipop, and I asked if he uh had one for me, and he said no, and I said, Can I have half of yours?

And he did hesitate for just a minute and like he was thinking about it.

So thank you for at least thinking about it.

But that probably wouldn't be wise since um my wife is sick this morning, which means you know there might be a little of that floating around my house today, so we probably shouldn't share a lollipop together Bennett, but um, thank you for at least considering it, buddy.

Um I love these Sundays.

I love that we do this, I love that we have the kids in uh for the message.

Um, not because I preach on a kindergarten level.

I mean, go ahead, say it if you want to.

Uh that would have been a good place to get a dig in, right?

Well, he kind of preaches on that level anyway, so um, but because they are part of our church.

You guys are part of our church.

Our kids are a vital part of our church, and um, most of the people that come to know Jesus do so before the age of 18.

Okay?

I mean, dramatically so.

80% of the people who come to Christ do so before the age of 18.

What does that mean?

Does that mean if you're over 18, there's no hope for you?

It doesn't mean that at all.

It just means that God works through godly moms and dads and grandparents and all of those who speak into the lives of kids to call them to faith.

Um, and that oftentimes they respond in faith in those first few years of their life.

And so children's ministry is vitally important to what we do.

It shouldn't be a compartment of what we do, but we should constantly be thinking about how do we get the gospel to the kids in our communities and in our families and those that live in our neighborhoods, the uh children of our co-workers at work.

Um, and we I think we do a great job with that.

We had vacation Bible school here, and it was awesome.

It was wonderful, and I got to go around to some of the classrooms and hear the gospel uh proclaimed to our kids using a lot of creative methods and all these creative backdrops.

I feel like now every time I preach, I should have like leopards and you know, invisible frogs and you know, whatever, right behind me because that was so exciting to have all of those uh all those different decorations going on in here and all the things hanging from the ceiling.

But more than that, it was exciting to me that our teachers were doing such a great job of presenting the gospel clearly in ways that our kids could understand.

Um, and and God goes ahead of us in that.

Uh, some of you are really great with kids, you're kid magnets, and children love you, and others of us we struggle a little bit, you know, kids don't come to us sometimes, sometimes babies like me, and then other times I walk toward babies and they start to make that face where you you know they're about to cry, and you just kind of back off because they're about to cry, and you go, okay, I'm not gonna come any closer, right?

Um, but it's it's vitally important.

God is kind to us in this, that this morning's message is on families.

And we didn't plan it that way.

I didn't I didn't space them out so that this would land on a Sunday when our kids were in the room, but this is one of these few passages in the book of Colossians as we continue in this study that speaks to children, speaks directly to our kids.

And uh so I'm really, really glad that it landed on this Sunday and that we're able to talk about Christ in our homes, which is our theme of our message today.

Christ in our homes.

It's from Colossians chapter 3, verses 18 through 21.

Colossians 3:18–21

And so as we get started with that this morning, I just want to read you, and you can read it with me, read these verses together in Colossians chapter 3, verses 18 through 21.

Colossians 3:18–21

And this is where we find ourselves this morning.

Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

This is God's word.

Let's pray together.

Father, we pray now that you would open our hearts to your word, that you would work through these words and by the power of your Holy Spirit to remind us of who we are in Christ in our homes, as moms and dads, as kids of all ages, as grandparents, if we are singles, to remind us of our relationships that we have, that you've given us, even if we live uh alone, uh, that you've given us family.

And if we don't have any family, that you've given us church family, and these principles still apply.

And so, God, work in us that we would make our homes places of grace for all who would enter there, all who would be there, that there they would find the grace of Christ, and we would as well.

And we pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Well, this past week, as most of you know, our hearts have been turned toward the family of Dot Perkins as we mourned her passing.

And I didn't really have the privilege of knowing Dot.

I'd met Dot a couple of times.

I never did meet Danny.

I came here as your pastor the week after Easter, and Danny died the week before Easter, and so uh I never got to know him.

I heard lots of wonderful stories about the kind of man uh that he was and now is with Christ.

But I met Dot a couple of times, and of course she was grieving Danny, and this has been a very hard season for her, and so you know, it was a few months ago some of you stood alongside her as she said goodbye uh to Danny.

But to think of Dot and Danny is to think of a remarkable, grace-filled union, 73 years of marriage.

73 years uh they were married together, 73 years of walking together with Jesus.

And at Dot's funeral, as her family and friends gathered there, I couldn't help but be struck by the truth of Proverbs 31.

Her children and her grandchildren literally rose up and called her blessed.

That's what they did.

One after another, they got to their feet and shared at the funeral and called her blessed.

And as they shared their memories, what was it that stood out, those of you that were there?

It wasn't worldly wealth, it wasn't grand achievements.

They spoke of a mother and a grandmother and a great-grandmother who prayed for them continually, a woman whose prayers just carved this path of grace for generations to come.

And they were they were visibly affected by her continual prayers for them over and over and over throughout the years.

They spoke of the warmth of gathering around her table for meals, and I understand her biscuits and gravy were amazing, and I'm sorry I didn't get to taste those.

I see, I think in heaven I will get to taste Dot's biscuits and gravy.

Probably get to eat all I want, and I don't have to worry about the calories.

So I'm that's what I'm hoping for.

I don't have any confirmation to that exact thing in Scripture, but I do know that it'll be better than anything here, and so I'm hopeful that that will be the case.

They also spoke of the simple, profound power of singing hymns and spiritual songs together as a family.

And we talked about that a little bit last week of the way that singing affects us as we pour our hearts out to God.

And that kind of home that Dot and Danny had makes a real mark in the lives of kids and grandkids on down through the generations.

It makes an eternal difference in the lives of our children and grandchildren.

And as we turn to this text this morning, this is precisely what Paul is laying out for us.

We come to this passage of scripture that is as practical as it is profound.

It is very, very practical for us this morning.

And it's very easy for us to sit in church on Sunday and you know, we sing our songs and we nod at appropriate times, spiritual truth, and we we concur with that.

Amen, preacher.

Yeah, we agree with all that.

But the real test of our faith, I think it's fair to say, is in our homes.

What are we like behind the walls of our homes?

I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.

When I first moved to the state of Maine, we were missionaries there for off and on for 30 years.

When I first moved to Maine at 26 years old, nobody had air conditioning in Maine.

They didn't need it.

It was pretty cool most of the time.

But what that meant was in the summer, everybody would leave their windows up.

And we like to take walks, and so we would take a walk after dinner, and I would hear people talking to one another in their homes.

Sometimes I would hear people yelling at one another in their homes.

And that's a really strange thing that we don't experience here as much because we don't have our windows open all the time, and some of those houses were really, really close together.

And so we'd walk down the street, and Caroline and I would be holding hands and we'd be talking down the street, you know, and um, and we'd hear some people going in it, just yelling at each other in a house.

Husbands and wives, yelling at each other, yelling at their kids.

It wasn't a real pleasant experience, but it reminded me that this is sort of where the test of our faith is.

It's hard, it's hard to follow Christ at home.

Right?

It's not easy.

Um, in your kitchen, in your living room, around the dinner table, dynamic between husbands and wives, parents and children, and now we have a lot of blended families.

You've got some interesting dynamics.

I've got interesting dynamics in my in my extended family.

And so it's hard.

And we need the guidance of passages like this one.

Well, Paul has spent the first two chapters of Colossians establishing the supremacy and sufficiency of Jesus Christ.

It's right up there on the screen there.

Right up there on the screen.

I'm looking at one back there, you're looking at one up here.

It's right up there on the screen because these are two words that we think of when we think about the way Christ is portrayed in the book of Colossians, that Christ is supreme and that Christ is sufficient for all things.

In fact, Colossians 1.18 says that in everything he might be preeminent.

And then in chapter 3, Paul switches from doctrine to application.

It's almost all practical in chapter 3.

The things we've already talked about there, and now this one on the home, and next week we'll talk about work.

If Christ is king of the universe, he needs to be king in your living room, and in your bedroom, and in your kitchen, and in your garage, when you're working on that carburetor, on your, you know, lawn tractor, and it's not working correctly.

He is the king there too.

And the engine that drives our behavior in those spaces, drives our thinking in those spaces, draws our worship in those spaces, is not law, but the transforming grace of God.

That's what we need more of in our homes.

And so when Paul has this message here, first to wives and then to husbands and then to children and then to fathers, what we're looking at is a pattern of grace.

God has called us to grace.

And so, in three ways, really here, I want to tap into this.

The first is the power of gracious parents.

Power of gracious parents.

And the second is the pattern for gracious children.

And the third is the pleasure of a gracious home.

So, first, the power of gracious parents.

Paul begins with the relationship between husband and wife.

And I don't know, I don't know how it is in your house.

My kids have always delighted when Caroline, I hate that Caroline's not here today.

She'll hear all this later.

She can listen to it, and then she'll smile at me, and then she'll hug me, because I'll say all these nice things today because we're talking about homes.

But my kids have always loved it when Caroline and I show affection to one another.

They always love it when we meet up in the kitchen and we put our arms around each other, and maybe we're, you know, we're doing that a little bit in the kitchen.

And my kids have always loved that.

All four of my children love that.

And all four of my children did the exact same thing.

They come and they wedge their way in to that embrace, right?

They come and get in the middle of that.

Now they don't want the kissing, but they want the hugs, right?

And they'll come and squirm their way in.

So from the time when my kids were really, really small, you know, first of all, you just feel this hand on your leg, and they're just kind of jumping in there a little bit, and then you pick them up and you bring them with you.

And then they get bigger and you can't pick them up, and then they get really big, and now, still, as young adults, my kids will come.

If Caroline and I are showing affection to each other, they'll come and get in the middle of that embrace.

It is very important, parents, that our children see that mom and dad love each other.

It's really important that our kids see that mom and dad love each other.

That before we are parents, we are husband and wife.

And that we are glad in that relationship that God has given us.

He speaks first to wives here.

He says, Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

Notice the qualifier here.

It says, as it is fitting in the Lord.

This is not a call to absolute compliance to an arbitrary dictator.

Okay?

And this gets abused in churches, it gets abused in families where there's this hard patriarchal ism where dad is a dictator and everybody has to fall in line.

That's not what we're talking about here.

Submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

It's this joyful, voluntary alignment with God's created order made possible only by the grace of Christ.

Charles Spurgeon, you know, is one of my favorites, once said it this way.

He said, The cross of Christ is the sweet storehouse of all spiritual blessing, and from it flows the grace needed for every earthly relation.

And so, how should we, how should husbands love their wives?

As Christ loved the church, right?

How did Christ love the church?

Christ died for the church.

That said, it's harder to live for someone than it is to die for them.

Dying is a single act, but living is every moment of every day.

And so I'm not asking you, dads, to go die for your families right now.

That wouldn't be productive, I don't think.

But I am saying you should live for them.

You should love them in the way that Christ loved the church.

And wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

When a wife honors her husband, she extends the same unmerited favor and respect that Christ has lavished upon her.

Well, then Paul addresses husbands.

So don't worry, ladies, it's not all on you.

But he says, husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Now, why would Paul say that?

Why would he say something?

He doesn't waste any words.

The Bible doesn't waste any words.

All of these things are necessary to be said.

He says, do not be harsh with them, because sometimes husbands have a problem with being harsh.

And I know that can be a problem for me sometimes.

Sometimes I'm so dead set in my ways that my words that come out aren't as soft as maybe they were in my head.

That my words sound harsher than my heart feels.

And so we have to be careful not only about what's going on in our heart, but what's coming out of our mouth.

That we're not speaking impatiently.

That we're not speaking without compassion.

All of those characteristics that we talked about last week, that we covered on Wednesday and Thursday nights, as we kind of unpacked which of those things, which of those godly characteristics that our last passage talked about are hardest for us, those things come out of our mouths.

If we lack compassion, it comes out of our mouths when we speak, right?

If we lack patience, it comes out of our mouths when we speak.

And we sound harsh.

And so Paul says, husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Notice, guys, that Paul doesn't say, husbands, command your wives.

That'd be easy for us, right?

Husbands, command your wives.

He says, Love your wives.

And we are to love them, as it says in Ephesians 5, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

It's sacrificial, grace-filled love.

Christ's leadership was not demonstrated by demanding service, but if you remember, it said, it says in Scripture that now he would show them the full extent of his love, and what did he do?

He took a towel and he knelt down and he washed the disciples' feet.

Now I don't know if you've ever experienced a foot washing.

We did this one time in a church that I was pastoring years and years and years ago, and we we put the chairs in a circle, and I spoke on that passage, and I had a basin and a towel, and we started to wash everybody's feet.

Well, one of the ladies got a little worked up at that, and she, as we were coming closer and closer to her, she suddenly got up and ran out of the room.

And uh, she was a good friend of ours, and afterward we said, Cindy, what was going on?

And she said, Um, I had been out doing yard work before church, and my feet were all dirty, and I didn't want anybody to see my feet.

But that's the picture that we get of Christ's sacrificial grace-filled love, that he washed the feet of his disciples, and then what did he do?

He went to the cross and he died for his disciples and for all of those who are his.

And so a Christian husband is not to lead by force, but by outloving and outserving and outforgiving everyone else in the home.

Husbands, outlove and outserve and outforgive everyone else in your home.

It's your job to set the standard, to set the example, and so you be the most loving person, the most gracious person, the most forgiving person in your home.

The apostle adds this crucial warning.

He says, do not be harsh with them.

Harshness, if we were to say, flip that on its head, we would say harshness is the absence of grace.

The absence of grace.

A husband who gets his theology right and it's sharp and precise and he understands it fully, but whose temper at home is bitter and demanding has misunderstood the gospel of grace.

Guys, we've got no excuse to treat our wives in a harsh way.

And if we do, what are we to do?

We're to go and apologize and ask for forgiveness.

Say, I'm sorry.

Not I'm sorry, but right?

Not I'm sorry, but you guys really drive me.

Uh-uh.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

And now I'm gonna start over and try to be gracious, as Christ has been gracious with me.

Well, fathers are further instructed in verse 21.

It says, Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

I skipped one.

We'll come back to that.

Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

And when we when we provoke our children, we deal with them in legalism rather than grace.

When our expectations are unreasonable, when our discipline is executed in anger.

Hey, I'm gonna ask you to confess with me, and I'm confessing too.

How many of you have walked into a situation in parenting where you came in and you spoke firmly in a situation that you didn't really know what was going on?

Anybody?

Anyone ever done that?

Okay.

Yeah, I've done that.

I've walked in, end of a long day, and you walk in and you go, hey, what's going on in here?

You know, multiple kids involved, things going on.

What's going on in here?

Hey, you sit over there, you sit over there.

What's going on in here?

And I've walked in and I've spoken, alright, you guys are laughing at that.

You've either done it or you remember it being done to you when you were a kid, right?

And you walk in and then you lean over to your wife and you go, all right, what happened?

Right?

I don't actually know the situation here.

All right, now that we've got the kids seated on opposite sides of the room, what happened?

Who do I need to speak to?

What's who's at fault here, and how do we need to deal with it?

God has called us to deal with our children in grace, reasonable expectations, discipline executed in love, always, always, always pointing to the gospel and offering patient encouragement when our kids fail.

Because they will fail.

How do we know that our kids will fail?

Because their parents fail.

Their parents fail.

And sin doesn't skip a generation.

We fail, our kids fail, even your lovely, perfect grandchildren will sometimes fail.

You may not see it when they're at your house, but I'm sure that they do once in a while, right?

We all do.

And so he says, Fathers, don't provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

Our goal.

Should be to encourage them and not discourage them.

And so, gracious parents govern their homes with the same gentle, patient authority that your heavenly Father extends to you.

Now, kids, I want you to listen to this one for sure, because in verse 20, Paul has, God has, a direct word for you.

And this is what it says to our kids.

Alright?

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Now, your mom and dad didn't tell me to say that today, okay?

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

I didn't even plan for this to be our sermon this week.

God just orchestrated it in that way.

So that we could say to you, children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

So the Bible speaks here directly for children.

The Bible is not just for adults, it's for you guys as well.

And you can understand that, right?

That's pretty simple, isn't it?

You're not an afterthought in the church.

You are a real important part of God's church, of God's people, and God's grace is for you too, both to receive it and to give it.

And so Paul doesn't say obey your parents only when they give you what you want.

He doesn't say only when you feel like it or you're having a good day already.

He says, obey your parents, that means always, in everything.

Everything.

What doesn't fit in the category of everything?

Anybody?

Any kids?

Everything pretty much covers everything, right?

Yeah?

Obey your parents in everything.

And why do we do that?

Because it pleases the Lord.

It makes God glad when you obey your parents.

Isn't that great?

You want to know how to make God glad?

Obey your parents.

It pleases him.

He's glad in it.

He's glad in the way that you're glorifying him, in the way you're worshiping him, just like singing a song to him, right?

Obedience.

Just by doing what mom and dad tell you to do when they tell you to do it, you are worshiping God.

And it makes his heart glad.

When you extend grace to your parents by obeying them gladly when you clean your room, when you come to the table when they call you, when you speak kindly to your brother and sister, you are reflecting the heart of Jesus.

You look like Jesus in that moment to your mom and dad.

And if you think about Jesus, that song we just sang just now, it said, Jesus said that if I fear, I should come to him.

No one else can be my shield, I should come to him.

For the Lord is good and faithful.

He will keep us day and night.

We can always run to Jesus, Jesus strong and kind.

Those are the words we just sang in that song.

And that's true.

If you're having trouble with this, you can turn to Jesus.

You can pray right where you are and say, Jesus, I'm having trouble obeying my mom and dad in this, whatever it is.

Will you help me?

And he will help you in that.

Now, it's interesting that Jesus himself had to be submissive to his parents.

Remember, he was born as a baby.

That's what we celebrate at Christmas, Jesus being born as a baby, and he grew up as a child, and he was submissive to his mom and dad.

In Luke chapter 2, in verse 51, it tells us that as a young boy, Jesus went down to Nazareth with Mary and Joseph, and he was submissive to them.

Luke 2 · chapter mention

That's what it says there in Luke 2, 51.

The creator of the universe, who made everything, who even made his own parents, had to be submissive to his parents.

Because that's what God says.

Children obey your parents in the Lord, right?

When you obey your mother and father, you are following in the footsteps of Jesus.

And when you stumble, when you feel weak or you're tempted to be disobedient, you don't have to rely on your own strength.

You can run to Jesus and you can pray to him, and he is strong enough to give you help.

And he knows how it is because he was a kid, and he had to obey his parents too.

And he is kind enough to forgive you when you fail.

Well, the last part of this this morning is the pleasure of a gracious home.

We've got parents, we've got husbands and wives, we've got kids, and then the pleasure of a gracious home.

It is a real pleasure to step into a home where grace reigns.

It feels like a haven from what can be kind of a harsh world.

And the way we build a home like that, we don't do it on our own strength.

It is not built on our self-effort.

We'd be running around trying to fix everything, make everything look perfect, and act perfect, and you straighten up and you straighten up.

How many of you have seen the sound of music?

And um, you know that you know the scene?

And uh the captain there is blowing his whistle and the kids are all in line together, you know?

We love that.

We can do the little good night dance, dun-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

You know that when we can do that in my family.

So um, not today.

But uh but you know what I'm talking about, right?

Is that the sound of music?

Yeah, sound of music.

And and that's that's what it looks like, sort of on our own effort to try to make our home a gracious home.

We are going to be gracious, right?

You kids straighten up because we're gonna be gracious.

We're gonna make it so that everybody who comes in here loves it here and feels really at home and we want to be a respite from a dark world.

Got it?

Yes, sir.

We got it, right?

That's doing it on our own ability.

That's not what we're talking about, right?

That's not the way that it works.

It is sustained by the Holy Spirit, fueled by prayer and our delight in God.

Our joy in God fuels a joyful home.

And so what does that mean?

That means that, mom and dad, you need to spend time with God.

You need to delight in Him.

That's very important for your home and your kids and all those who would come and be with you in your home at any time.

It's very important that you delight in God.

I think that's the number one thing.

If you delight in God, that delight will be evident in your home as well.

Paul said earlier in Colossians 1.27, he talked about Christ in you, the hope of glory.

And then in Colossians 3.3, he said, For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

And the truth is, we can't extend grace to our family members or guests who come into our home if we haven't received it ourselves.

The supernatural life of the Christian home that is grace-filled is lived out by the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit.

Paul commanded us in Ephesians chapter 5 to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

When a husband speaks gently, it is Christ speaking through him.

When a wife forgives, it is Christ in her forgiving.

When a child obeys cheerfully, it is Christ in them, working in their hearts.

And because we need God's grace every single hour of every day, and especially when our guard is down, when we're not planning for it, when we have a moment, when we step on the floor, and we step on a lego, right?

Oh, I've done that so many times.

Step on the floor, you step on a lego, or someone spills something on the couch and doesn't tell you, and you sit in it?

How many of you have done that?

Spill something on the couch?

And then nobody owns it?

You remember Family Circle, the cartoon in the paper, and they'd be, who was it?

Not me, not me, not me, not me.

Nobody did it.

It just magically appeared on the couch, this spot where somebody spilled their lemonade, right?

Three hours ago, right?

Especially in those moments, we need Christ working in us to cause us to be filled with grace.

And that that means that our homes also must be places of prayer, unceasing prayer.

Just like the legacy that Dot Perkins left for her children and grandchildren.

And we sang of this earlier, too.

We sang, oh, what high and holy privilege is the prayer of simple faith to the throne of grace approaching, boldly asking in his name.

It is a high and holy privilege, parents, that when tempers flare and weariness sets in, when children are struggling, we do not resort to anger or despair.

That we can bring our family directly to the throne of grace.

That we can stop in the moment and say, guys, we need to pray right now.

We just need to stop and pray and ask God to help us.

And if you have a praying home that is like that, it will be a grace-filled home.

I promise you.

We are just saying to God, we need your mercy.

We can't do this on our own.

This is hard, but you are good.

A gracious home is also practices the quiet grace of listening.

James 1.19 tells us, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

And I remember many times as my kids were little, that we would do that, and we would have little symbols for it.

When someone started to get loud or be harsh with one another, or not listen to one another, we would go like this, right?

This and make an angry face.

And that meant James 1, 19.

Be quick to hear, be slow to speak, be slow to anger.

So much conflict in our living rooms comes because we're quick to speak in frustration and we're slow to listen.

And so turning down the noise of the world, putting down our screens, sitting in quiet reflection before God's word, the more that we do that, the more I think our homes will be filled with grace.

Our prayers will be filled with grace.

Our listening will be filled with grace.

And as we learn to listen quietly to God, he gives us the patience to listen to one another as well.

Husbands listening to their wives, parents listening to the hearts of their children, children listening attentively to their parents.

Listen, I don't have it all wrapped up here, okay?

I'm really fortunate that my kids are not like four and five and running all over the church, you know, and swinging from the rafters, you know, because they they probably would be, and they did when they were that age.

We go through seasons where this is just really, really hard, and you're just like, man, God, I'm just gonna get through this one, you know?

It's just the way that it is, and it's the way it was for every one of us.

How many of you raised a child and you experienced the terrible twos, terrible threes, terrible fours, terrible twelves, terrible 15s, right?

Some of us have adult children.

We're experiencing the terrible 25s right now, right?

Yeah, the terrible 30s.

It just goes on and on and on, you know.

It's not easy.

And so we need to be filled with grace as well.

We need to have grace for parents here at Calvary.

When we see kids and they go off and they have a temperature tantrum in the hallway, we don't need to, you know, do that at the parents.

Because our kids probably did that too.

And if they didn't, that's just the grace of God that they didn't.

We need to pray, we need to help, we need to encourage, we need to step in if we can as a surrogate, mom, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, aunt, whatever we are in the lives of those kids.

We need to help.

And we need to give grace.

Grace is enough.

Let me give you four practical things real quick this morning as we close.

Four daily habits, okay?

First one is this personal and family devotions.

Personal and family devotions.

This is in most church covenants, right?

That we would have personal and family devotions.

That we show our children that God's word is important to us, that they come into the room early in the morning, maybe mom and dad, sitting with their Bibles and their coffee, right?

Studying God's Word, reading God's Word.

And then we make a time, whether it's daily or weekly or whenever we can, to get together with our family and spend some time with God.

We read maybe a Bible story together, that we learn a scripture together, that we sing a song together.

And kids, you can help in this stuff.

You can be kind of the helper, and you can get the Bibles, you can turn off the TV, you can try to gather everybody together so that you can have those times.

Number two, here's the second practical thing: Scripture memory and reflection.

You can hide God's promises in your heart.

In Deuteronomy 6.7, it calls us to, God calls us to talk of his word when we sit or walk or lie down or rise.

You can take a minute of quiet after reading to let God's grace sink into your life.

There are some wonderful resources for parents where you can put scripture verses on the.

I have these, come and find me and we'll get it to you.

I think I sent those to you.

We've got those, Kel's got stuff too, that we can give you parents so that when something happens in your family or someone exhibits a certain kind of behavior, you can go and look on the fridge and look at the scripture that applies in that moment.

Okay?

All kinds of resources like that to help with scripture memory and reflecting on scripture.

Third thing, ministry of songs.

Singing fills a home with joyful grace.

And we talked about this a little bit last week in the message.

It talked about singing as well.

It was Colossians 3.16, and it says for us to sing hymns and psalms and spiritual songs with thanksgiving in our hearts to God.

And kids, you can help with this.

You can pick a favorite hymn or a favorite worship song for the family to sing together after dinner.

It's great to sing these in the car at the top of your lungs.

And if you don't have little kids at home and your grandma and grandpa, when your kids, when your grandkids get in your car, find some music that they'll like that is God honoring music and let them listen to that.

I know that you think it's formative for them, that they know the entire catalog of uh Creden's Clearwater Revival or whatever your favorite is, okay, Earth, Wind, and Fire, whatever it is.

But but it will make more of a difference in their lives.

Did I get you?

That was the one, right?

Okay.

So afterward, everybody's gonna tell me what their favorite music was.

Um but it'll make more of a difference in the lives of your grandkids if when they get in your car, you're singing some upbeat praise songs to Jesus.

All right?

You're singing songs that point them to the gospel.

All right?

Last thing here, uh the fourth practical thing, Christ-centered literature and media.

Fill yourselves with books that point to Jesus, um, like the Pilgrim's Progress or the Jesus Storybook Bible.

We've got some there in the back.

Um, all kinds of resources.

If you need recommendations on those for Christmas presents, um, Raquel will be glad to recommend you.

She sent me a list, which we still haven't put on the website.

We're gonna put it on the website.

Sent me this great list of all of these resources for moms and dads and kids, um, books and media of every kind.

We showed the David movie here a couple of weeks ago.

That was super.

All kinds of great things that will fill our heads with wonder at who God is and what he has done for us.

Last, every single one of us must confess where we failed to show grace in our homes.

Wives have not always submitted gracefully.

Husbands have failed to love selfishly and at times have been harsh.

Fathers have provoked children, and children have disobeyed.

We have at times offered law where we should have extended grace, and if this convicts you, as it does me, then look back to the cross.

You know, this morning we we sang, I'm referencing all these songs this morning because I love them, referencing the song His Mercy Is More.

It says, What riches of kindness he lavished on us?

His blood was the payment, his life was the cost, we stood neat the debt we could never afford.

Our sins they are many, but his mercy is more.

Paul gives us this instruction here, these little verses in Colossians 3, not so we can earn God's love, but because Christ has already bought us with his blood.

Richard Sibbs, the Puritan pastor and writer, wrote it this way.

He said, There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us.

There's more mercy in Christ than there is sin in us.

And when we fail in our homes, and we will, I will, you will, we run back to the cross.

We run back to the cross and we ask for forgiveness from God and from one another, extending the same grace to others that we have received from Him.

Well, in a minute, we're gonna stand and sing together in response to God's word.

Um, and as we do that, we're gonna declare the truth that we know to be true.

Sometimes we have trouble internalizing it or remembering it, but we know this to be true, and it will transform your home that you are not your own.

That you do not belong to yourself.

We have been bought with a price, Jesus' death on the cross for us.

My life is not my own, my marriage is not my own, my children are not my own, my home is not my own.

It all belongs to the Lord, to the Redeemer who loved us and bought us and graciously gave himself for us.

Before we sing, with the example of Dot Perkins before you, those of you who knew her, and if you didn't know her, those of you who heard these words about her this morning, I want you to do this.

I want you to take a few minutes before we sing to pray with your family or with friends sitting nearby.

Or if you're new and you came by yourself this morning, I'll ask those who are sitting close to you to invite you to pray with them as your church family.

Okay?

So everybody has someone to pray with this morning.

Take a few minutes, do four things.

Praise and adore God together.

Just praise him together for what he's done, for who he is.

Confess where you've failed.

You don't have to get specific, especially if it's people you don't really know very well.

You don't have to get specific.

Okay?

But confess that you have failed.

Thank him for his grace and forgiveness for your failure.

And ask him to help you in the days ahead.

Can you do that?

Can you do that this morning?

Just take a few minutes and do that, and then we will sing together.

Let me start us off with just this prayer.

God, I pray that you would grant us the grace to surrender our homes to you that they might be places of grace and peace and love, places where people see Jesus not just in the books on our shelves or the scripture art we have hanging on the walls, but in our thoughts and words and attitudes toward one another.

Help us to love one another as you have loved us, as you have first loved us, empowered by your Holy Spirit that you have given us for just such a task.

For your glory in Jesus' name.

Take a few minutes, if you will, be bold to pray for one another.