Helping Someone Overcome Trials and Tribulations

So the lesson is helping someone overcome tribulations.

If someone's going through difficulty or tribulations,

it could be anything. Loss of a loved one, loss

of a job, financial, addiction, health concerns,

whatever trials or tribulations the person's

going through. We're going to talk about how

we can help that person deal with it and help

them get to a good place. Scripture says, which

you will not find anywhere on this page, Consider

it pure joy when you face all manner of trials

and tribulations. Taking that verse to somebody

who's going through difficulty and saying, hey,

you know, the Bible says you should have joy.

You should be happy. Things aren't going right.

That's not very helpful, right? In fact, I would

highly recommend that you don't do that. You

want to use that for yourself? You want to say,

hey, I'm going through difficulties. I'm going

to count this as joy. That's something you can

do. But to go and try to tell other people that

they should have joy in the middle of tribulations

is hard. It's hard to deliver that message. It's

hard to receive that message. Okay? So we're

going to work through some things that are actual

practical steps that you can take. They're all

biblical. And we'll have lots of verses. And

so I can read. Kashawn can read. Right, Kashawn?

Yep. Okay, make sure you have your Bible accessible.

Josh can read. We'll get it done. Anybody else

wants to read? Everybody can read if they want

to. All right? So you're right on the top of

the page number one. Okay? And so the blanks

are not filled in. Okay. So you see it says compassionate

presence there. So what do you think the B and

the W are? Okay, that would be good. Blessed

with or begin with. compassionate presence. So

presence is being there, not complicated, except

that we're not good at it in our current society

because like, for example, we have laws not to

use your cell phone while you're driving and

you look at the screen because people are not

present while they're driving, for example, sometimes.

Things like that. So we really lack. We'll go

to dinner. Sharon and I went out to dinner and

we were just talking about how people don't spend

time together. And we looked around and there

were like nine other tables that we could see

where the people were, instead of talking to

each other, they were looking at their phones.

They're all on their phones. So we have a rule

on date night. We don't get on our phones when

we sit down because we're present. We're there.

And then compassionate means caring and wanting

to do something about what's going on. Compassion

is you care, and compassionate means you're in

the state of caring. So it's a presence. It's

a compassionate presence. And then to begin with

that, that's what we're going to start with.

So we've got the scripture. If it's a New Testament

book and it starts with the letter R, what do

you think? Romans. Romans is correct. And it's

Romans, and it says D -O -Z under the number.

So it's Romans 12. 15, very good. It's Romans

12, 15. Okay? Does anybody know what Romans 12,

15 says? As soon as I read it, I think I might

have heard that before. Okay. Romans 12, 15,

I can almost quote it from memory, but not quite,

says, Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with

those who weep. So when you show up at somebody's

house, For dinner, hanging out, whatever. If

they're happy, be happy. If they're sad, be sad.

This is especially pointed toward the church.

It's a biblical standard Christians are supposed

to do. Then we're going to keep going down. It

says LM. So if you're having a compassionate

presence and you're with them, you're going to

listen more. The LM is listen more. So normally

you hang out with somebody and you're talking

and listening and talking and listening. You

tell a lot of stories, maybe half the stories.

Somebody says something and you say, hey, yeah,

that same thing happened to me back when my dad

and I were fishing. This happened, right? Or

there was a blue one and oh yeah, I saw a red

one, right? And you're back and forth and it's

like 50 -50. They talk, you talk. Now, to show

compassionate presence, you talk less. Let them

talk more. It's not about you. So just listen

more to what they're saying and talk less than

what you normally do. Now if they ask you a question,

don't sit there in silence. That's rude. But

be aware that they might ask you a question that

they don't want an answer to. Like they might

say, why is this happening to me? And if you

have an answer of why this is happening, probably

any answer you would give is not going to be

a good answer. For example, they say, why does

this happen to me? And you say, well, you know,

stuff happens. Well, that's not a good answer.

Well, why does this happen? Well, you did do

something wrong and you're being punished. Well,

that's definitely not a good answer. Well, why

does this happen to me? Well, because, you know,

into every life a little rain must fall. Not

a good answer. What answer are you going to give?

Right? So sometimes there are questions that

they may ask that they're really not looking

for an answer to. And either the things that

we're going to learn here in a minute that you

can say that will answer that question, you probably

don't want to say them when the question is asked.

Because when they say, why is this happening

to me? They're not really looking for an answer.

But later, a few minutes later, an hour later,

whatever, in the conversation, you might be able

to explain why it's happening. But when they

ask that question, if you answer, you might hurt

their feelings, you might cause them to stumble,

that kind of thing. So listen more, talk less.

And then after the slashes, If I give you the

P, which is pain, would you take a stab at what

the A and the M might be? No. Say it again. No.

We definitely don't want to add more pain, right,

or amplify moderate pain. We don't want to add.

So the words are avoid. And then you can use

an M word, but I use minimizing pain. So here's

what you'll have happen. You're talking to them

and they'll say, well, I shouldn't be upset,

right? I have no reason to be upset. I'm hurt,

but should I even be hurt? You don't want to

minimize their pain. Don't tell them that they

shouldn't be feeling pain. Don't tell them that

they shouldn't be hurting. So they lost their

job, they lied, they cheated, they stole on the

job, now they lost their job. and you go sit

with them, and they're aggravated, and they're

upset, I should have done that, and I wish that

hadn't happened, and they're feeling like they're

dying because they lost their job, don't minimize

their pain and just say, well, just don't do

it again next time. It's really no big deal.

You'll find another job. We don't want to minimize

the pain that they're feeling because those are

real emotions that they're having. So avoid minimizing

their pain. And then over to the right, it says,

your presence, What do you think your presence

reflects? God's nature? Or God's nearness? Right?

Either one? So you being there, what does God

do for his people? He never abandons us. So you

being there is like him being there. And you're

there to represent him, but also you're there

to make a statement about how he's there. And

we won't go and read Job 2 .13, but Job 2 .13

is that passage where it says that Job's friends,

they all came and stayed with him and they sat

there with him for over a week and said nothing.

They had nothing to say. And it says because

they saw his suffering was horrible. He was having

horrible suffering. So they're really, when another

person's having suffering, maybe you just need

to be there. I can't tell you, probably now,

probably seven or ten times I've been with somebody.

who either just lost a loved one or they themselves

were in the process of some pretty terrible suffering.

And my just being there was the whole thing.

That was it. I didn't have any great answers

or anything. I was just with them. And if that's

all you do, you'd be getting it right. Because

your presence reflects God's nature or God's

nearness. Okay, then we'll go on to number two.

I know that's a funny looking thing. That's an

anchor. Right there, next to the two. Sorry,

Hannah, to insult your great artistic abilities.

I should have had you draw the anchor, huh? Anyway,

that's an anchor. And so the A is anchor. The

A is anchor. And so what we want to do is anchor

them in God's goodness. So the whole point, when

people are suffering, they're shaking. They're

in fear, they're in anger, they're troubled.

doubt, whatever, and we need to get them back

into and solidly put them in God's goodness.

That's the goal. Even though, yes, bad things

have happened or are happening, we're not denying

that, but the goal is to get them back into God's

goodness. And then this is an Old Testament book

that starts with the letter L. Lamentations.

That's right. Lamentations. L -A -M -E -N -T.

A -T -I -O -N -S. Now, somebody tell me what

Lamentations means. What does the word Lamentations

mean? Cry. Yeah. It's cries out. Plural cries.

Many cries. More than one cry. Out. Okay? So,

Lamentations is written by... Can you stab at

it? Deshawn, who wrote the book of Lamentations?

Jeremiah. Jeremiah the prophet. Jeremiah was

called the weeping prophet because he went through

some real hardships. In fact, the last thing

we hear about him was they put him in chains

and drug him off to Egypt because his prophecy

said he would never go back to Egypt. So then

to prove him wrong, they threw him in chains

and drug him off to Egypt. But he'd been thrown

in a well, beaten, threatened, everything. He

was treated horribly. So he's called the weeping

prophet. And the book of Lamentations is written

by Jeremiah and it has a lot of weeping in it.

Okay? And Lamentations 3, 31 through 33 says

as follows. For the Lord will not reject us forever.

Even if he causes suffering, he will show compassion

according to his abundant faithful love. For

he does not enjoy bringing affliction or suffering

on mankind. Okay? And so then, the next one is

a New Testament book. It starts with an H. Hebrews.

Right? So, Hebrews 13 .8. 13 .8 is the reference.

Let me see if I can get it from memory. The Lord

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and

forever? know if I got that right. Anyway, the

point is he's the same. So over here to the right

you see it says gently remind. So these are the

things we're going to gently remind the person

of. The first one is GL. What do you think it

is? God's love. That's exactly it. God's love.

Perfect. Got that easy. The next one's an S.

It's harder. Sovereignty. God's sovereignty.

So we've got God's love and God's sovereignty.

And then we have an M. If I said I'm going to

remind you of God's, and it starts with an M,

what would you say? It's a trait of God and it

starts with an M. Yes, but that's not the one.

Mercy. God's mercy. So as we're dealing with

somebody who's in the middle of suffering or

tribulation, We want to remind them of God's

love, of God's sovereignty. Okay, I'm going to

give you that right now. So how would you remind

a person of God's love, sovereignty, and mercy?

What tools do we have that we can remind them?

Starts with a T. Yeah, you could teach them.

So if you're going to teach them, what would

you use to teach them? The Bible. Okay. So the

Bible talks about situations where people were

suffering 2 ,000 years ago and 3 ,000 years ago

and 5 ,000 years ago. But what's something that's

a little bit more close to home that we could

use that might have to do with that person or

have to do with yourself? Testimonies. Okay.

1 John 1 .3 says, We proclaim what we have seen

and heard, that you may have fellowship with

us, and our fellowship is with God the Father

and His Son, Jesus Christ. So we tell them about

what we have seen and heard. Like an example,

Sherry and I had a pretty horrible experience

where her grandfather passed away, and we were

going to visit him, and they had called the family

in like a week before, and so he could have passed

away at any time. And we were going to visit

him. And we had a softball game that night. And

we played the softball game. And then right afterwards,

we arranged for somebody to take the kids home

and put them to bed. And we were going to go

out and visit her. And as we were leaving the

ballpark, we heard that he passed away. And,

you know, we were already mourning his loss because

he was very close to death and it was rough.

But we were literally leaving the ballpark to

go visit him and heard that he passed away. So

we went home. Kids are in bed. And that night,

we were lamenting to God. We were just expressing

how sad we were to God. And I wound up just holding

her. I didn't really have anything to say. There

was no comfort other than God's comfort, you

know, that kind of thing. And then some years

later, we had other experiences that were bad.

Judy died. My dad died. Things like that. We

had a horrible situation where Sherry... She

had to jump ship and leave the company that she

was in because she helped start the company and

built it from the ground up, and then she had

to leave there and go be at another company because

the guy was just running it into the ground.

The other partner was running it into the ground.

She had to get out of there. It was a horrible

situation. We've had other situations. Well,

that situation of us lamenting to God, us hanging

out that night, and about 2 o 'clock in the morning

just crying together, praying together, and looking

to God, we look back at that situation of how

God got us through that situation. Does that

make sense? So we can bring up, see how God saw

us through that. Now we can talk about how God

saw us through when Judy died, how God saw us

through when my dad died, how God saw us through

when we had to leave that job all of a sudden.

So we can talk about those things that we have

experienced, and that gives us strength. The

tool is testimonies. That is the primary tool

you're going to use. The truth is you may have

never felt suffering like what they're feeling.

You're not testifying saying, Here I have this

story that's bad. You have this bad thing you're

going through. My bad thing over here was worse,

and God got me through it, so he's going to get

you through it too. Never do that. Don't compare

your story to their story. But if you can say,

God loves us. Let me tell you how I know God

loves us, because I had this experience, and

out of that, I know God loves me. God has mercy.

I really screwed up, and this bad thing was happening.

My life was falling apart, and I turned it over

to God, and God did this. God has mercy. God

is in charge. One time I thought I was going

to get away with something, and I did this, and

then I realized, oh, you know, God saw it, nobody

else saw it, and then God exposed it, so everybody

saw it. God is in charge. So you have testimonies

to testify to God's love, God's sovereignty,

and God's mercy. Not to tell them what they're

going through is somehow less. So never compare

what your experiences were to their experiences,

but use your testimonies to talk about the character

of God. Okay? Alright. There is another little

point under this. So if you take your pen right

now and start next to where it says tools, and

go over toward the right edge of the page, and

then go all the way down, you're going to cross

the mountain. You see a little mountain sticking

out there. And you see a phrase, and it says,

suffering is not abandonment, and then circle

it. This is the interactive part. So you start

with tools, you go over to the right, all the

way down the side of the page, cross the mountain,

and circle. Suffering is not abandonment. And

that is a key part of anchoring them in God's

goodness. Because if their suffering means that

God has abandoned them, then is God good? No.

God is not good. If God has abandoned me in my

darkest hour, then God is not good. So a key

part of them recognizing and being anchored in

God's goodness is to understand that God has

not abandoned them and facing suffering is not

abandonment. So why did I put it way down there

and make you draw the line, do you think? What's

the symbolism of that? Yeah, it's got a point

to it. We got a point to it. Has anybody here?

had an experience of real suffering? I know you

have. Anybody want to share one briefly? Just

give us a one -liner. Say, this happened to me.

I'll do one for you. So, all of a sudden, my

parent died. I lost my parent. Wasn't expected,

wasn't coming. All of a sudden, it happened.

Okay? When that happens, do I feel like God is

with me? Not really, right? I mean, you're focused

on how bad things are. You're dealing with it.

You're coping. So in the midst of their suffering,

it's going to feel like God is far away. If they

turn to God, focus on Him, pray, as you said,

read the Bible, listen to your testimonies, those

things, God will feel less far away, right? And

maybe they will feel his presence and they'll

get anchored in his goodness. And they might

even do that all on their own. You can do it

all on your own as you just turn to God when

things are difficult. But your job is to recognize

when suffering is causing them to feel abandoned

or far from God and help them search around and

find God again. And you might have to go kind

of far to do that with your testimonies. You

might have to tell 10 stories or 20 stories.

You might have to listen to 20 stories that they

tell. They might talk about being angry with

God. They might cuss God out in your presence,

and they might do that five times. And if you

say, hey, if you talk like that when I'm around,

I'm going to leave. I'm not going to stay. And

they do it the third time, and then you leave.

Well, then it's over. Your helping them through

their tribulations is over. So you might have

to put up with a lot of crap, basically, while

they're going through stuff. Ideally you don't,

but you might have to. So the point is, you might

have to root around and figure out how you can

help them see that suffering is not abandonment.

Now we're on three, number three, under the eagle.

So we have the word encourage. So we're going

to encourage three things. One is an H, one is

a P, and one is an L. Anybody know any of them?

Hope is the first one. Very good, sir. Hope.

So we want to encourage them to have hope. And

you might do that by saying, you know, yeah,

you feel bad. Of course you do. I mean, it's

a horrible thing that you're going through. But,

you know, with time, the pain that accompanies

this will ease. You are going to be okay. You're

going to make it through. No one's rushing you.

You can suffer for a while. You can hurt. You

can ache. And I ache with you. I know I don't

have the same ache that you have, but I have

ache too. You feel this pain. That's fine. It's

right that you should feel pain. But it could

get better. It will get better. Please see that

it will get better. So that's hope. Encouraging

hope. How about the P? Prayer. That's right.

You're going to encourage prayer. Okay? You may

or may not know this, but the... Probably the

place in the Bible you'll find the most examples

of other people's prayer is in Psalms. And in

the book of Psalms, you'll find examples of all

kinds of prayer. Some of the prayers are pretty

bad. They're pretty harsh. Pretty wicked. Like,

I'm really suffering. This really sucks. Dash

the heads of my enemies' babies against the rocks.

Destroy them. Burn them alive. I mean, it's terrible.

The prayers are bad. So why pray? when your heart

is like that? Well, because you're committing

the outcome to God. So yes, they said dash the

heads of the babies against the rocks, and that

is a horrible thing, but what were they really

doing? They were putting it in the hands of God.

They were saying, we're not going to dash the

babies' heads against the rocks, but if that's

what's appropriate, then you do that, God. So

they were submitting it into God's hands, as

horrible as that is. So we're going to encourage

hope and prayer. And the last one's a little

bit tricky, but we've already had it. It is not

love. Say again? Nope. Nope. It's lament. Right?

So that's like from lamentations. So you want

them to say out loud, to express their emotions

out loud what they're feeling. Right? If they

think I'm super sad, I'm going through this crap

basically, and they turn all that inward and

feel horrible about themselves, that results

in anxiety, depression, PTSD, lashing out later,

explosive anger, every kind of disorder under

the sun. So it's better to kind of express it.

Now, it's a lament, meaning we're going to express

it to God, ideally. Right? So the goal is for

them to express to God how they're feeling. And

you'll notice there's a little arrow that goes

down from there under the word lament. And it

says, F in. And the words are faith in struggles.

That's what a lament is. So when you say to God,

God, I am really hurting here. This is horrible.

I can't believe I'm going through this. God,

help me. Bring this to an end. Get me out of

this. Give me strength. I am really hurting.

When you do that and lament to God that way,

You are expressing your faith, trusting in God,

in the middle of your struggles. Okay? And it

says in Psalm 62, 8, Rest in God alone, my soul,

for my hope comes from Him. And so, He is the

one who really can provide for you. Josh, can

you get Philippians 4, 6 -7? He is the one who

really can provide it for you. Okay, Josh is

looking up Philippians 4, 6 through 7 for me.

And then that next line says, the P is pray.

And then there's a W. And then it says not. And

there's a JFT. Anybody got a gut feeling of what

that might say? You're going to pray. It's a

W, not JFT. Pray. Okay, the W is with. Pray with

not. And then JFT. Not just for them. Here's

the thing. There is great advantage to them expressing

out loud what they're feeling. Praying to God.

Like if you say, I'll pray for you, I'll pray

for you. And then you go away and pray for you.

They don't even hear the prayer. If you stand

there with them and you say, I'll pray for you,

and you pray, and you pray, Lord, I'm begging

you for strength for Bob. Bob lost his dad. Bob

lost his job. Bob just got diagnosed with stage

4 cancer. Bob's struggling with addiction. I'm

begging you for strength for Bob. Well, how do

you know Bob is praying for strength? What if

that's not what Bob is praying for? It's a thing

he should be praying for, but you're praying

for strength for him. He may not be in a place

where his heart wants strength. Or you pray,

give Bob wisdom, Lord, to deal with what he's

going through right now. What if Bob isn't praying

for wisdom? Or Bob doesn't want wisdom, right?

So you want to pray with them, listen to them,

and then pray with them. They say, for example,

if they're crying out, why is this happening?

I can't believe this is happening. And they're

talking around all these different ideas of why

it might be happening. Then praying for wisdom,

you say, Bob, can we pray for wisdom? You know,

maybe God will give you some answers to these

questions that you're answering. You pray for

wisdom. And Bob says, yeah, let's do that. And

then pray with them and say, well, here, I'll

lead and you can repeat after me. God, please

give me wisdom. Bob says, God, please give me

wisdom. Or you say, how about I'll pray and then

you pray and then I'll close. That way you can

end in Jesus' name. And if they are willing to

do that, that's great. Then they're praying out

loud what they're going through. And tell them,

say, tonight when you're laying in your bed and

you're really suffering, you can cry out to God.

When you feel like you can't go on, you can say,

God, I feel like I can't go on. And tell them

that and help them verbalize what they're going

through. Okay, Josh, you got it? Be anxious for

nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication

with thanksgiving, let your requests be made

known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses

all comprehension, will guard your hearts and

your minds in Christ Jesus. So very simply, and

there's a lot... there we could unpack, right?

What the verses that he just read are saying

is that peace comes with the prayer of expression

of the need to God. It doesn't come because God

does a miracle and you get what you want or because,

you know, if you're praying for peace, then that

would be the miracle, right? But otherwise, let's

say you're praying for a new job because you're,

oh man, my bills are coming due, my water's going

to get shut off, all this, and you're praying

for a new job. And if God gives you the new job,

that's not going to give you peace. Right? Because

now you've got to work the job. First paycheck

doesn't come for a week or two weeks. You've

got to get the budget balance. You've got to

find the money you need. You've got to organize

everything. You're stressing, running around,

trying to figure it all out. Talking to family

members, can I get an extra 50 bucks just to

get me through until my paycheck? That's not

peace. Right? But the fact that you express your

need of the job to God There's some peace in

that just because I can't control whether I get

a job or not. I can take the steps. I can do

those things. If God wants me to get a job, I'm

going to get a job. If God doesn't want me to

get a job, I'm not going to get a job. Even if

I do everything I'm supposed to. If God wants

me to have enough money to pay my bills, then

I'm going to have enough money to pay my bills.

And if he doesn't, then I'm not going to. See,

there's peace in that. Peace in letting the outcome

not be on you. You still have to do all the things

you're supposed to do, but putting the outcome

on him yields peace. And there, of course, is

a lot more in those verses that we could unpack.

But we're using it for that right now. So you're

going to pray with that person, not just for

that person. And then the next one, you're going

to normalize. That's a big word. You probably

wouldn't have guessed that with a million tries.

Normalize expressing, expressing, E -X -P -R

-E -S -S -I -N -G, expressing. So they're talking

about grief. And people who are going through

grief go through a phase of denial. They go through

a phase of anger. And they go through a phase

of blame. And when you're facing tribulations,

you'll go through phases just like you're going

through grief. Even though it might not be grief.

That might not be the tribulation. It might be

something else. So the point is, you're going

to normalize expressing what they're going through.

Tell them it's okay. to say what they're experiencing.

But the goal, notice, is to express that grief

to God. So it shouldn't just be, I'm going around

telling all my friends, or I'll tell my counselor,

but I won't tell anybody else. It should be expressing

the grief to God. And you want to show that that's

normal. You can say, well, I'm here with Bob,

I'm feeling pain, and you pray to God, God help

me, this pain that I'm feeling, this hurt that

I'm feeling for Bob, It's so much. I know it's

not as much as what Bob's going through right

now, but please help me to deal with this pain.

Help me to deal with this struggle. Help me to

have wisdom and strength here today. And now

they see your example, right? You didn't pray

for Bob. You prayed for yourself. But they see

your example. Now, ultimately, they need to get

to the point where they can express their grief

to God. Okay? And then the next part says, peace.

Often. That is C -A -S. Anybody have a, want

to take a guess? Comes. Peace often comes. It's

after. Peace often comes after. Think about the

Bible. Peace often comes after. Yes, but we're

looking, we're thinking simpler. Say it again.

The peace kind of is serenity, sort of like that.

It's surrender. The word is surrender. And Jane,

you were on the right track because salvation

is surrender, right? But it's surrender of your

eternal condition, your whole self, so you can

be saved. In theory, hopefully we're talking

about a saved person. But if you're not talking

about a saved person, then I would go to salvation

then at that point. But if you're talking about

a saved person that's going through tribulations,

then you're talking about surrender, right? Notice

peace often comes after surrender, not, what

do you think that E is? It's explanation. So

during trials, tribulations, and struggles, everybody

wants to understand. And if you would understand,

like you can get down to every variable. Well,

this happened because... When Bob was younger,

Bob did this, this, and this, and now they said

that affected his heart. Nobody ever knew. He

passed away at 45 because these are the factors.

Or when the company closed down, the reason the

company closed down is because they invested

in these properties, and the properties all went

under, and now the company didn't have the money

to pay their bills. They started not paying their

employees, and the employees were suing them.

Understanding all that is not going to bring

you peace. Understanding the details of why somebody

died, why did they get cancer? They got cancer

because they smoked from the time they were nine.

There's no peace in that. Is there peace in that?

Where's the peace? At best, you could say, well,

I guess that means I probably won't get cancer

because I didn't smoke from the time I'm nine.

But now I still have to deal with the loss of

my loved one or my job or whatever. There's no

peace in it. Peace comes after surrender. Most

of the time. It's not always, but most of the

time. So once you turn it over to God, that's

when you get the peace. Not the understanding.

And the truth is, there's a question after a

question after a question after a question. Like,

if it came out, he smoked since he was nine,

well then why back in the 50s did they let everybody

start smoking when they were nine? Why was it

like that? Why is smoking not illegal? That's

a question that you can't answer. I mean, you

can, but there's no real answer. Alright? So

we're on four. It says point to God's purpose.

Without going in there, do we know what is God's

main purpose for trials and tribulations? Yes,

to teach, to learn. But not to learn specific

lessons that are attached to those trials. Let's

go to the very first one. The T is trials. And

then it says equals what? Kind of, but... Say

it again. That's true, but that's not what we're

looking for. The Bible says that trials eventually

equals steadfastness. And that's a weird word,

so it's okay. Steadfastness. And steadfastness

means you stick. You stay the course. So I'm

going to give you like a real life example. Let's

say you wanted to run a marathon in 2028. What

are some things you might do? Train, prepare,

practice, eat right, hydrate, sleep. As it got

closer, you probably would work less and run

more, right? So the main idea of a marathon,

you've got to run 26 miles. And lots of people

set out to run a marathon of 26 miles and never

do it. They'll quit at 20 or 10, right? Because

they just don't know what kind of steadfastness

it's going to take to do that. And that marathon

then becomes a picture of all kinds of things.

What if you wanted to start a business? You know,

I'm going to start a business and my business

is going to do X and I'm eventually going to

make $50 ,000 a year. through this business.

It might take me 20 years, but I'm going to get

there. And I'm going to turn it over to my kids

when I die. And they're going to start out with

a business making $50 ,000 a year. And that's

your vision. But it's going to take 20 years

to get there. That's going to take steadfastness.

You have to stay the course. So the time between,

let's say you're going to run a marathon in 2028

and you start doing all those things you said

you were going to do. And so every day you're

getting up and you're eating right, drinking

plenty of water, going to bed on time, getting

up on time, and you're working out the muscles

that you'll need, and you're losing weight, slimming

down, adding muscle mass, doing all those things,

right? And then about three months from now,

you stop doing those things. And about three

months later, you start doing them again, and

about three months later, you stop doing them.

And the last year before the marathon, you just

kind of do it periodically, a little bit, here

and there. How do you think the marathon's going

to go? Not great. You think you're going to be

one of the people that stops at 15 miles or 20

miles? On the other hand, if you put yourself

through those trials between now and 2028 and

you never stop eating right, never stop sleeping

right, never stop drinking plenty of water, never

stop working out every day, you go to run one

mile in a month, you're running a mile a day.

In six months, you're running five miles a day.

In a year, you're running 10 miles a day. And

in a year and a half, you're running 20 miles

a day. And the marathon comes and you're going

to run the whole marathon. Because trials...

Equals steadfastness. What you put yourself through.

Makes you able to stay the course. And in this

case it's what God allows us to go through. Trials

equals steadfastness. Okay. And then the G there

is growth. And it's growth without denying pain.

So the purpose of the trial. There is a point

here. And we're pointing to God's purpose of

the trial. The purpose of the trial is growth.

But we're not telling you you can't have pain.

It's fine to have the pain. But down the road,

you're not going to allow the pain to stop you.

Growth without pain. Without denying the pain.

And then we have a certain kind of perspective.

The E is what? Effort, presence, bubbly perspective.

No. Sorry. It's eternal. Eternal perspective

over temporary suffering. So we've got to think

about how as much as this sucks right now and

we're really experiencing pain and like that,

we're going somewhere. God's taking us somewhere

where all of this will be gone. All the tears

we're experiencing now, someday we're going to

be in a place where there's no tears. All the

pain and suffering that we're going through now,

someday we're going to be beyond it, past it,

right? And we're thinking about eternal perspective.

So we want steadfastness. Because if all the

suffering goes out of your life, in a few years,

you won't be living for God. That's just a reality.

You say, no, I will because I believe in Jesus

and the Holy Spirit and blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah. Okay, but biblically speaking, trials equal

steadfastness. So if there are no trials, You

wouldn't be living for God. You don't need to.

You don't want to. You won't have that. You'll

be embracing the things that are going on. You'll

be driving one of your 17 Lamborghinis, living

in your 40 ,000 square foot house, running your

businesses, or on the floor with your grandkids.

But would you be going to church? Would you be

giving 10 % of your income? Would you be serving?

Would you be cleaning up puke? Would you be flushing

toilets? You say, well, no, I'm not going to

do any of that because I'm a multi -billionaire.

I'll just pay people to do that. Yeah, see? But

if those are things that God calls you to do,

you wouldn't be doing any of them. Eternal perspective

over temporary suffering. And then trials equals

shaping, not punishment. So as we're with them,

we do not want to be saying, even if a person

sinned against God and the sin is clearly what's

causing their punishment. Right? They clearly

sinned. They're clearly paying for it. It's not

your job to sit there and go, you clearly sinned,

you're clearly paying for it. You just got to

wait it out. That is not the goal. We need to

think of it as shaping. We're learning from this.

We're growing beyond this. We're staying the

course. And then, of course, encourage hope and

prayer and lament. It is completely okay to lament

the fact that God is punishing you for sin. If

you don't do that, you're not being very realistic.

Right? You're like, but I'm mad. I'm upset. I'm

sad that God is punishing me. Like when a child

lies and then gets a spanking, are they supposed

to be happy while they're getting spanked? I'm

going to spank you now. This is going to hurt

me more than it hurts you. Don't you dare frown

at me. Don't you dare cry. I mean, they're getting

a spanking. They should be upset. Right? And

if they're laughing and smiling, we think, oh,

well, they're not really concerned. I don't have

to spank them harder. Or call it a better punishment.

Right? Alright. Now we're on five. Less blanks

from here on out. We're on the down slope. Walk

with them toward hope and restoration. Remember

this is all compassionate presence. That was

where we started at. We're trying to anchor them

in God's goodness. Encourage hope and prayer

and lament. Point to God's purposes for what

they're going through. Not specific purposes,

but shaping to have an eternal perspective, that

they would grow, have steadfastness. And then

we're going to walk with them toward hope and

restoration. Anybody want to read Isaiah 40,

31? There's another one that some people memorize.

And then somebody else can get Revelation 24.

Now I'll grab Galatians 6 .9. If somebody's got

it, just let me know. Isaiah 40 .31 first. Yet

those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.

They will mount up with wings like eagles. They

will run and not get tired. They will walk and

not become weary. Okay, so one action point,

exactly one. Did you catch it? Wait for the Lord.

If you wait for the Lord, then you get stronger.

You're more able. And you'll go on. You'll have

steadfastness. So it is our job to walk with

them toward hope and restoration. That's what

we want to do. And say, look, this sucks. Not

denying your pain, but there is an opportunity

coming. Just let me be quiet and just listen

to that. Usually what happens is they spiral

through. If it's grief, for example, they'll

spiral through the different phases seven times,

ten times, twenty times. And eventually they

get tired. They wear themselves out. I'm tired

of denying it. I guess it is true. I'm tired

of being angry. That's not helping anything.

And they're going to get down to like, okay,

now what do I do? The key is to wait on the Lord.

Okay. Revelation 21 .4. Kishon. Oh, go ahead.

Go ahead. Amen. Kishon, you want to find Galatians

6 .9? While he's doing that, I'll give you the

blanks below it. It says, hope is not, you should

know this one by now. Denial of pain. Exactly.

Hope is not denial of pain. When you see somebody

and they're struggling, they're in the pain,

whatever, it does not mean that they cannot have

hope. And that people will resist having hope

because they say, but I'm hurting, but I'm hurting.

It's okay to be hurting and also to have hope.

You can do both. Okay, Kishon, you got it? Go

ahead. Amen. So, I think this verse works both

ways. It encourages us to stand in there and

do the right thing with somebody who's suffering

tribulation. It also encourages them to stay

the course and to make it through. Okay? So it

says there it is not about fixing. So if somebody

complains to you that they're hurting, I get

this frequently, where some people say, well,

I don't have X. I don't have money. I don't have

a job. I don't have a car. Things like that.

And it seems like a pretty easy solution there

would be to give them money, a car, a job, right?

That's a pretty easy solution, right? Does that

actually solve the problem, the real problem?

Does it achieve the real goal? It does not. Because

the trials equal steadfastness. But if you keep

coming along and erasing the trials, no steadfastness

develops. In fact, what actually winds up happening

is people don't have any steadfastness. They

leave behind what they have. And so it is not

about fixing the problems or the suffering or

the trials that they're going through. Sometimes

it is. When it's a matter of surviving. If they

have no food, for example. And providing them

with food is a very good thing. But the best

thing to provide them with is your presence.

Well, I don't have a car with you that I can

give you, but I'm not going to abandon you either.

Nor is God. Just because you don't have a car

and I can't give you a car doesn't mean we can't

win in this situation. Right? And then you walk

beside them while God does redemptive work. So

we're going to walk it out. So usually when people

are struggling with transportation issues, I

usually say, well, I can get you to church Tuesdays

and Sundays. I'll pick you up. Doctor's appointments

sometimes. Here's ways you can get doctor's appointments.

Here's ways you can get to the grocery store.

But I don't say, well, here's a car. People are

looking for a job. Then I help them search for

a job. I don't have a job. All of a sudden, we'll

help them search for a job. And I might give

references. Do you have clothes for the interview?

You know, things like that. People are grieving

the loss of a loved one. You can't bring their

loved one back. Revenge won't do it. You can't

punish the person that killed them. None of that's

going to help. But you can be there with them

and walk beside them as God does his redemptive

work. And then you'll notice there is a little

box over on the right. Did you see it before

you put your folder up? It says, stay engaged.

Encourage healthy steps. Notice that God's final

word is healing. Revelation 21, in the end, we

are healed of all of it. People pray to be healed

so they can walk in heaven, they dance. Or fly.

When the new heaven and new earth comes, they'll

disappear in one place and appear in another.

They'll only walk if they feel like walking.

And fly if they feel like flying. Otherwise,

they'll just be in one place and then be somewhere

else. Because they'll have completely new bodies

that are like that. There is a final word of

healing that is coming. Even in this lifetime,

Job, the devil, worked through circumstances

to take everything he had. And in the end, because

Job stayed steadfast through all trials, God

gave him back everything he had multiple times

over. And you see that all throughout the Bible.

So God's final word is healing. If you live long

enough, you will overcome the trouble that you're

going through right now. And not only that, but

then you can use this that you've been through

to help others and do the same thing. Okay? Questions?

Concerns? Alright. I'm going to... So, the teenagers

18 and under... See how I did that, Natalie?

And soon Mike. I'll be 18 soon, right? If you

meet me by the prize bin in the office, I have

prizes. I'll give you prizes. Instead of throwing

candy today. And then we have chips and dip in

the cafeteria. Praise the Lord. Homemade dip.

Slightly more chaotically made than was intended,

but effective.