Love and Marriage (9/25/2024)

Alright.

Well, good evening.

Not everybody at once.

So it's, my privilege this evening. We talked

about this Sunday.

It's my privilege this evening to,

turn the mic, the pulpit over to

papa, papa Bomer.

And,

he's gonna talk to us about marriage.

And I really, really just I mean, I

enjoy him as a person.

He's a great man, great man of God,

but I'm also looking forward to his

insight

and,

his scriptural acumen.

So, papa Bomer. Thank you. I'm here.

Bless you.

Strange thing

to talk about in church,

but a real thing, real matter. I don't

know where you are at.

Where I come from, marriage is outdated.

People don't get married anymore.

South Africa,

most most young people,

brother Scott, they just move in

and move out.

They

they

move

they fall in love and then they fall

out of love.

And

I'm not surprised that

marriages don't work and

and and that a nation can fall apart

because of that.

Nations fall apart because of that.

In our country,

young girls get

government grants,

for every child.

So in Mafeking where I am, we have,

really helped me with with the right wording

now. They say, I I cannot speak,

I cannot talk about feeding schemes because then

we're busy with a scheme.

Rescue center. Rescue center.

We have a rescue center for these children

where we feed 55 children 3 meals a

day, every day. And and

and and all these children

are of women who receive grants

for every child.

So so they have children to receive grants,

And

some girls at the age of 20

have 4 children

and they they they don't

they don't use the money to raise their

children.

That money is

used for alcohol abuse and drug abuse.

And

these kids just roam around the streets.

Little ones,

I'm not talking about

10 year olds.

I'm talking about toddlers, little kids.

And and we started this rescue center for

these children

and the mothers are absent,

and the fathers are nowhere.

They just know it,

and

I

I thought to myself,

who's guilty?

I think the church

has allowed

society,

churchgoers,

I'm talking about Christians,

to to to lose their moral standards.

I'm sorry my wife is not here. Are

they coming, Willie? Yeah. They're coming. They just

had something to do with the children.

My wife and I got married in

in

1975 and,

I wasn't I wasn't born again then.

I thought Christ was Jesus' surname

and

we we we we met the Lord

a couple of years after we got married.

And

even

if we got married for the wrong reasons

I I mean, I didn't love my wife.

When I got married, I didn't love my

wife.

I was madly in love. I was

23.

We were in Rwanda

and we were sitting,

the the pastors that were there, and they

were talking about why they got married.

And

my wife said,

my

husband and I didn't love one another.

We lusted one another.

And I'm just giving straight talk, can I?

And Tony Nichols

who led

the the team there, he said, will you

speak on that tomorrow in the church?

And and and we do that.

And

so,

let's look at marriage.

I don't spell very well, especially not in

English.

There's a difference.

There's a difference.

So,

marriage is holy.

It's

an institution

of

by God.

It's it's sacred.

It's

it should be the best thing that can

ever happen to anybody.

And and and why doesn't it work?

Because

Satan

wants to destroy

what God has

brought in,

what God is doing.

And,

so

I

let's go to the very beginning.

Right in the beginning in Genesis.

Genesis chapter 1 verse

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

from verse 1 God created.

And God spoke and things happened.

And and and and and he did so

for

for a number of days. He just spoke

and then

God got together

And God said, let us.

That's why I said, God got together.

God said, let us

make man in our image.

In our likeness,

and let them

rule.

So

God made man

in his image

and in his likeness

and then God said, let them.

Not men, man,

them. So

if this is God,

if if if that's God,

then God made man

in His image

and in His likeness.

Man looks like God.

He has all the intrinsic values,

image, likeness, we like God

and

this man,

he said, they

will rule.

So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God. He created him

male and female.

So

within

this

Adam,

there is a male

and a female.

So he created them

male and female he created them and God

blessed them. He said, bless you.

Have it. It's yours

And

so God put man into a deep sleep

and then God,

God took man and put him in the

garden, I mean,

on verse 15

and and he told him to take care

of it

and then in verse 18, God the Lord

God said it is not good for man

to be alone.

I will make him a helper

that is suitable,

that that fits in with him, that that

that can work together with him, that

they can be in

cooperation

with one another.

And

so

so the Lord caused the man to fall

into a deep sleep, and while he was

sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs

and closed up the place

with flesh,

and then the Lord

made the woman.

So

if this is God,

God put this man into a deep sleep

and this is God.

This is man, sorry.

He separated them,

and

so what remains here,

what remains here

is is is is 50%.

50% or half.

So

with

this is still

the image.

This is still the likeness

but it is separated.

So,

here you get

half a soul,

half a body,

and half spirit.

Does that make sense?

Yes.

So

God separated them

and

then

God said

this is

after he separated it, he he brought the

2 together.

He brings them together

And and

therefore a man shall leave his father and

his mother and he will be united with

his wife

and they will become 1 flesh.

So

so

this is where

things can go terribly wrong.

That's that's all

where is

where is the eve?

She's somewhere here.

So

for some reason,

we have been made

the ones

that that are the hunters

that look for,

that want.

And it happens,

it happens somewhere.

By the age of 15, 16,

17,

18,

we start we start looking.

Because

something happens

and and I've

I find out that something is missing.

Something that is part of me,

something that needs to be with me,

something that is me

is not there,

and

I I start looking.

So

because

I'm I'm I'm missing half of who I

am,

I remember my sister, I have an older

sister,

her husband

was

was shot

in what we call a farm murder in

Africa, in South Africa.

And she said to me

when he died,

it felt as if a part of her

was ripped out of her.

And and it's just missing.

And and she said

it feel it felt

as if

half of who she was

had died.

Well, it did,

and and and and a certain period

of time

takes to get the healing.

But when when when when God brought

Eve to Adam, what did he say? What

what was his experience

after he woke up?

He said,

wow,

this is

flesh of my flesh.

This is bone of my bone.

This is the part of me

that was taken out of me

and and

and then God says,

what I have joined together,

let no man separate.

So the problem came

into the world

when

when when when when we start looking

because we have not been educated

by the church, by our godly parents

in the godly way.

So,

I'm I'm I'm I'm taking a little bit

of a shortcut tonight. We we normally take,

we teach this whole thing

in series over a weekend

but we don't have time for that.

So,

so God says

what I join together,

let no man separate.

So how does God

join?

How does God create

a oneness

between a man and a woman?

He does it through

intimacy

which Satan

has

soiled,

made dirty

through sex.

So

if this is God

and this is

Adam

and this is Eve.

How does

the oneness,

the joining together

that man cannot

separate

take place

through intimacy.

There's there's a literal

coming together,

a joining

together

through intimacy

that takes place

and the moment

that happens,

the moment that play takes place,

you are 1.

And and and and

and you cannot separate that

and so this is this is what happens

in the world.

I go and I look

for my part that is hidden here somewhere

and I meet

a lovely young lady at

at the church.

I'm born again now.

And

so tonight,

I walk her home

and

the moon is shining,

lovely

and and and we do what we're not

supposed to do

And God is speaking.

He says, don't.

You're playing with fire.

Be careful.

Watch out.

And and I'm spiritually

not connected

because

what is in my mind

is this young lady

and what is in her mind is

whatever.

And

before we can

help ourselves,

we can if

we are

obedient

and we listen to God's voice

and we are connected.

But

the world

has taught us

to be

disconnected

And before we find ourselves,

we're there.

And we become

1 body, 1 soul,

1 body,

one spirit.

And after

3, 4 months, 3 weeks,

I

find another one,

because I'm trying.

And before I find myself,

I'm there.

So

I grow up and I leave school. I

go to college

and it happens there

and it happens again

and then I get qualified

and I'm I now have a job

and and

and I get somebody in the office

and they send me to another town

to go on a course or to go

and sell something or whatever I do.

And this is what happens

and this is what we

call soul ties.

So I have become

1 soul,

1 body, 1 spirit

with these with with this

And then

I I meet my lady

and I propose

and I buy her a nice ring

and

she comes down the aisle and we get

married

and I put her in here.

What am I

allowing her into?

What

ties

am I bringing her into?

Now remember,

she may be also not been

that that innocent,

so she brings a couple in here as

well.

And,

Renee, what does this look like?

A knot? A knot? A mess?

A hamorze. That's what we call it in

where I come from. It's

it's

so so so my question is,

when does marriage

take place?

When are you married?

Is it when the pastor of the church

says,

I declare

that Willie and Lindy

are now legally

married

whatever the the the the ceremony how the

ceremony goes and

he says, you may now kiss your bride.

No, my dear friend.

No. No.

No. That very first

circle

was when you first got married

because you became 1 flesh.

And then you become 1 flesh again,

and you become 1 flesh again, and you

become 1 flesh again,

and she brings other fleshes into this flesh

situation.

And then we wonder why marriages don't work.

And they don't.

It's a miracle.

If you are married from

1975

to

2024.

It's a miracle.

So

I'm sorry my wife is not here yet

or

maybe they're not coming.

Because we share this together,

we were brought up

very

religious.

Very

very strictly

religious.

So

my my my wife is the only woman

I've ever had I've been intimate with.

I don't know why.

For the rest of

the things that men do, I did them

all.

I was not a good guy.

I met Jesus

after we got married.

But but for some reason,

God protected us,

both my wife and I.

So I met my wife in in in

in January.

I saw her.

We went out for the first time in

in in April

and I married her in September

and and and we got engaged I met

her in April. We got engaged in June

and then we got married in September.

And

and and for some reason,

we decided

to abstain

until we got engaged.

And

I don't think we decided,

but it happened.

And our marriage didn't work for the 1st

7 years.

Didn't work. Why?

We allowed a crack in the foundation.

And and

Satan just

did this in the door.

And our marriage did not work for 7

years

until

we met

with this thing.

My wife was the only is the only

person that I've ever been intimate with, but

I was intimate

with her

before I married her,

before God could put his seal on the

thing.

And because of that,

damage was made.

And

so

God says here,

what he has joined together,

no man can separate.

So

if I

am intimate

with a woman before I get married,

I am forcing God

into a oneness.

Does that make sense?

Because he says, that

is the act

of marriage

and the moment

you get intimate with one another,

you are joined together

and

and and and man cannot separate that.

That's the tragedy

and and you cannot separate this.

And

and and it

this is a destroyer.

This is a real destroyer.

That's why in the nation that I come

from,

I think that divorce rate is 70%.

Well, I

I I I don't even think there's a

divorce rate anymore because people just don't get

married anymore.

They just move in and they move out

and they move in and they move out

and the children will know who their father

and their mother is and

and and and society is falling apart. The

church is falling apart.

Pastors,

marriages are destroyed.

Brother, how many pastors do you know that

have divorced?

Many.

They don't know it, but it's this.

It's this thing

that brings destruction in our lives.

We are hurting and we don't know why.

We are doing things and we don't know

why.

I I I I I I I bring

spirits

in through this.

And and and then we then we wonder

why

it doesn't work.

And and

and

and and when destruction takes place,

we just divorce

and we start the process all over again.

We just go further.

So

do I have

sympathy with divorce? Yes, I have.

This is my view.

I don't believe that divorce

is

the unforgivable

sin.

My my daughter has been divorced twice.

I understand

but we can't make a habit of divorcing

and marrying.

We must there's a place to come clean.

There's really a place to come clean.

So

how how do we

how do we do this?

How do we come clean on this?

If the word of God says

if Jesus says

in in in in in in Mark chapter

Mark 9 · chapter mention

9,

what God has the 2 will become 1

And what God has joined together,

no man can separate.

So I I I normally come with it

with it with this great solution.

Buy a gun and shoot yourself.

Or get a rope and hang yourself.

No.

No.

Please,

no.

What God has joined together, no man can

separate who can.

Help me.

Help me. If

what man cannot separate,

what God has put together,

who can separate?

Yes. Who said that?

Bless you.

Bless you.

So

what what we normally do

when when we handle

this, my wife takes the ladies and I

take the men

and and and we we we literally ask

them to put the name of every soul

tie

that they have

on that piece of paper.

And one guy said to me,

there's not enough paper in this city

on which I can write the names.

And and I'm not saying that's bad.

I'm not

if I've done it once,

I have a wrong soul tie.

Ten wrong soul ties doesn't make that worse.

The challenge is to get rid of them

and so what we do

is we say,

write at least those that you know, that

you can remember.

And if you remember

the face or the

day or the evening, just write

A and B

and then after that we

bring the people together

and we fold those papers

and we make a fire

and we ask God to break every soul

tie

to undo them.

To undo them. To undo them.

To undo them

until this is left.

And God is faithful.

God is love.

If you come in genuineness

and with the right heart

and and and and and you you break

all those soul ties

until only that is left,

your marriage will work.

I'm married I think it's 48 years.

My marriage has worked

for 47 years

because we did that.

Because we did that.

God is faithful.

I I

I said to Billy, can I say this

here? And he said to me, just say

it there.

What is sex outside of marriage?

It's masturbation.

You are pleasing yourself.

What is intimacy in marriage?

It's holy.

It's clean.

It's beautiful.

It's God.

He made that

to bring us together,

and we allow Satan to destroy that.

Why?

Why? What is intimacy?

Intimacy is

I'm ministering to my wife's needs

and my wife is ministering to my needs.

I need that from her

and she needs that from me.

And if I don't minister

in intimacy

to her needs and she's not ministering to

my needs, we are taking

a

walk.

We're just taking a walk.

So my request is my my the challenge

I lay before you

is minister to one another

after you have come clean.

Do you know what marriage really is?

It is

I'm not sure whether I'm using the right

words.

It's the practice run

of when I become missus Jesus Christ.

Because he says

in John 15

and verse 4,

remain in me

and I will remain in you.

That's intimate.

That's this.

That's a oneness

with with my Lord, with my God.

If you remain in me, I will remain

in you.

If you remain in her and she remains

in you,

it's

ministry.

It's godly.

That's

what it was made for.

And it works.

Here I stand, it works.

So

I'm actually through.

So

we're not going to do that tonight, but

come clean.

Go and make your little list

and take that list,

and tear it up,

and and and and burn it,

bury it,

destroy it,

and you will see what God can do

or what He will do,

what He wants to do.

If it worked for me,

it'll work for you.

What God has joined together,

let no man separate.

Allow God to bring the wrong separation.

Let him break the

the the wrong soul ties

in your life

and let him

join you

with the one

that you married to.

Minister to one another.

It's good ministry.

It's good ministry.

I tell you,

may the Lord bless you, keep you,

make his light shine upon you and give

you peace.

May the love of the father, the grace

of the Lord Jesus Christ,

and the communion of the Holy Spirit

be with you.

Amen. Thank you, brother Scott.

So,

yeah, this is the stuff that,

that, this is real.

And, and here's something that I've found over

the years. We all know this.

We know this to be true.

Even even the way Hollywood

represents,

you know, sex outside of marriage,

there's a guilt factor. Even in Hollywood,

there's that. Why? Because there's something taken from

us when this happens. And so

I'd like us to pray about

this. And,

consider consider processing

this in your own life, your own transgender

issues and the LGBT, all these other things

that we don't even talk about the fact

that

sex outside of the marriage is still a

sin.

So,

so yeah, I don't need to preach it

again. Let's pray. God, we commit ourselves to

you. Lord, I pray for the marriages in

our church. Every single marriage

And I know this stuff. This stuff really

does attack,

our marriages.

It plagues our marriages.

God, all the stuff that comes along with

this, all the baggage that comes along with

this, all the stuff that comes along with

this, all the baggage that comes along with

this, all the that comes along with this,

all the baggage that comes along with this,

or Satan uses this to manipulate us,

to hurt us, to play us. And so

God, we ask you we ask you to

help us to work through these things for

every marriage in our church

that's got some of this in the in

the background,

Lord, that they will pray through this, that

they'll work through this and and not not

just pretend like it doesn't exist, but Lord,

truly

repent and get this stuff under the blood

of Jesus. And so Lord, we

I thank you for,

for this, this evening. I thank you for

the truth of this, the reality of this.

And Lord, I pray this across our church,

across our teenagers,

across

single people in our church that they just,

they they won't get caught up in this.

It's so much a part of our culture.

But Lord, we stand against it. We rebuke

it in the name of Jesus.

And that God, we want we want that

intimacy

with only our spouse.

And so Lord, help us with this. In

the name of Jesus, we pray.

Amen. There's actually, one of the segments that

I do in, my pre married counseling that

is it includes all this, that my pre

married counseling that is, it includes all this,

that how do you deal with this moving

forward? You know, by the time I get

to a pre married counseling setting,

you know, these 2 can't go back and

change everything that they've done,

But they can start right there and figure

this out.

And, and that's that's where we go. We

work through this and we pray through this.

And, and it's very necessary. So

thank you. Thank you for coming all the

way from South Africa

to speak to us tonight.

That's

awesome.

Why don't you stand with me? Let's let's,

I do want to end by praying for

for Papa Ballmer, just like we do for

our missionaries.

If you'll come up here, if you don't

mind, just stand down here. We're going to

gather around you and pray for you. There's

a lot of ministry and things that they

are doing.

And, and if you know any anything about,

Joshua's nation,

he's he's the,

African

person for that.

And so we want to pray over him.

We want to pray over the ministry that

they're doing there. And he is also

a, the equivalent of a state representative

in in his area too. So

so we're like twins. So So

something like that.

So if you guys want, come down here.

Almost identical. Almost identical. You can barely tell

us apart.

I don't know how come his hair is

so much darker though. That's the problem that

gets me. And his hair is darker. So

let's pray. God, I thank you for for

Papa Baumer. I thank

you for his heart for you. And Lord,

we do ask you for all the ministry

that he's doing.

And, and all the all of the guys

that are connected with him, specifically,

Pastor Emmanuel, Lord, I know that they 2

they both work so close together.

God, anoint them. Bless them with your spirit.

Are changed, souls are

saved, people are set free, Lord, that that

all the things that they're doing in all

of these different cities and countries and villages

with, Joshua's nation, Lord, let that let that

continue to propagate through the countries

or through the peoples, through the, through, through

people's lives and churches spring up from this

and more and more churches.

Upon

him and his wife both and the ministry

that they do together. God, we give you

all the glory in the name of Jesus

we pray. Amen.

Amen.

Alright. Well, you don't have to go home,

but you gotta get on up out of

here.

We'll see you

Sunday morning.