One Another Gathering: On Loneliness and Christian Friendship

So we are going to talk some about loneliness and the

message, and this is a short message, is that you are not

alone and I know many. Of us regardless.

Of our current state, whether married, with family or

whatever, many of us feel alone, and acutely so at different

times. And that breaks my.

Heart I I grieve for you. And I know how it feels.

You can be in a crowded room and still feel all alone.

Sometimes it it happens even when you.

Are a mature. Christian and you've been

walking with the Lord for a long time.

You can still feel that distance.

You can. Feel that distance with others.

You can feel that distance with the Lord.

I want to just. Give one big idea tonight that

might. Help alleviate.

Some of that and I. Hope to blow.

Your minds with this one big idea and then we can just talk.

About it for the. Rest of the time.

You have probably heard. The surgeon general says that we

have a loneliness epidemic or the last surgeon general said

this. Who knows what the current one

says, but. There was a.

A loneliness epidemic declared in the in the US, you may have

heard that loneliness is. Deadly as deadly.

As smoking 15. Cigarettes a day as deadly as.

As being obese. As deadly as.

Alcoholism you may have. Also heard that a whole.

New group of social scientists have run the data and they think

that the loneliness epidemic data is wrong and so now there

is a. Big debate about whether there.

Is a loneliness epidemic or not? Classic, right?

This is the world that we live in, and particularly the city

that we live in. Who cares, right?

I. Say unto you.

Who cares? Loneliness.

Is a serious. Problem.

Whether it's an epidemic or not, it.

Is a serious. Problem.

Whether it is? Acute or chronic in our.

Society, the reality for us. Is that many of our members?

Regularly feel. Lonely and many more of our

neighbors around us. Regularly feel it as well, so

regardless. Of whether this is a national

epidemic. It is a.

Priority concern for us in this. Church for the.

Clergy and for. All of us.

As a church family, for we are one.

Body as Paul. Writes and says again and again,

particularly in First Corinthians, but all over the

place, right? We are one body and if one

member suffers all. Suffer together so on behalf.

Of the clergy and staff, I want you to know that we.

Love you, we care about you. We don't want for any of you to

feel alone, so we. Have set aside the rest.

Of the evening tonight to talk. About this.

And obviously want. To to be.

Present for you in other times as well as tonight, so here's.

Here. Here's the.

Big idea and the big idea. Is that the church?

Is your primary. Social Affiliation.

Or your primary identity marker above any other one.

The church is your. Primary family.

Your primary. City.

Your primary ethnic. Group your.

Primary identity. The church.

Is #1 and the reason for that. Is because it is the.

One thing. Above all others, that will

last, it will last. It will outlast.

All of the others it will outlast.

The city it will outlast. This nation.

It will outlast. Your marriage, if you have one.

It will outlast. Your children, if you have them.

The church will outlast all of. Those things, think about George

Washington. He was.

A lot of things, wasn't he? He was a son, he was a husband,

he was an uncle, he was a farmer, he was a businessman.

I think he was a cartographer or mapper or something like that,

right? He was.

Apparently a great equestrian, he was a military genius and

general and had a lot of experience in those ways.

What is he remembered for? Yeah, he's the.

President right, like that is the thing that lasts and for

anybody who becomes. President, right, That's what

they're. Remembered for.

That's the identity. That will outlast all of the

others. And if you are a Christian, your

situation is similar to that. You are.

Many other things, whether at home or.

At school or at work? In the Academy, in the

government, one thing. Will outlast all.

Of the other things, one identity marker 1 affiliation.

Will outlast all of those others.

And that is your membership in the church, not?

Church of the. Resurrection, but the one holy,

Catholic and Apostolic Church that began a long time ago and

will continue to grow and grow and take over.

All things. It is the one thing.

That will last. The church is permanent.

Everything else is temporary now.

This. Is hard for us to understand.

Because we have. So many social bonds.

And so the New Testament makes this case over and over and over

again in a lot of different ways, using different images,

framing the permanence of the church in different ways.

For example, as I mentioned, the church is often described in the

New Testament as a new. Holy City.

The New Jerusalem. The old.

City of Jerusalem wasn't. Bad there were.

Wonderful things that happened in it, and it was.

Celebrated as. Beautiful and majestic in the

Psalms and in other places back in its.

Day but. It wasn't eternal, was it?

It was sacked. By the Romans in 70 AD, but a

new. City.

A city. That cannot be sacked is being.

Built by the Lord, it is a city. That cannot be shaken.

Read the. Last several chapters of

Hebrews. And pay attention.

To what it says about how? Abraham was looking for a city

that has foundations and how that city is coming and that

city cannot be shaken. Read the.

Book of Revelation and think about.

All that it says about the. City that is to come and you

find. That there is the idea of city.

And then there is the. Telos of city the trajectory of

city, what city will. Be when everything.

That is, vapor is. Gone and everything else.

That is, solid is left. When the king has come to reign

again. There will be a city.

That is permanent, that cannot be shaken.

And that city. Is the church.

That's one way the New Testament.

Talks about this. For our purposes tonight, I want

to draw your attention to another way the New Testament

frames the permanence of the church, and that is in terms of

family. The.

Tellos, the trajectory. Of the family.

Is the church the tellos of? Every family.

Is the church because the church is the.

Family of God and the family. Of God will outlast.

Every other family. So we see.

This in reading Ephesians. Chapter 5, right?

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

Clearly, marriage is something. That is sacred.

Within the Christian. Church, of course.

It's something that is honored and there is some material in

the New Testament that is. Dedicated to how?

Marriage should be and that builds on all that is written in

the Old Testament about the sacredness of marriage to

marriage continues. Clearly after the.

First advent of Jesus. But Paul says.

That the present. Roles of.

Husbands and wives are important.

For how they will play. Out in the.

Future especially he's got a. Future orientation.

What is the tell us? Of the story of marriage.

What is the trajectory of that story?

It is the. Family of God.

Right. Do you hear how?

He is saying this in chapter. Five the church.

As the church submits to. Christ so also.

Wives should submit in everything to their husbands in

the same way husbands should. Love their wives.

As their own bodies and so on for no one.

Ever hated? His own flesh, but nourishes it

and cherishes. It just as Christ does the

Church. Paul goes on to say this mystery

is profound, and I'm saying it. Refers to Christ.

And the church. What is?

What is Paul pointing us to? He is pointing us to a family.

That will outlast. Every marriage.

That we see. Right now, I'm so excited about

the weddings that are to come this summer.

That's wonderful news. I'm so much more.

Excited. About the marriage supper of the

Lamb. Because that's what.

Each one of them points to every marriage.

Here at res. Is a temporary institution.

Till death do you part. But there's another marriage

that's coming that's not temporary, and that's the

marriage of the Messiah, King Jesus.

To his bride the Church. Now, how do we know that the

Mormons are wrong about having planets and everybody has a

family? The families rule the planets in

the consummation. Jesus talks about this.

Doesn't he in in? The Gospels he scolds the

sadducees for their crazy Riddle that they.

Asked him about the resurrection, they came to mark

Mark 12 · chapter mention

chapter 12 to him Sadducees who say that there is no

resurrection. They asked him a question,

saying Teacher Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies

and leaves a wife but leaves no child, the man must take the

widow and raise up offspring for his brother.

Now there were seven brothers. The first took.

A wife and when he died left no offspring and the second?

Took her. And died leaving no offspring,

and the third likewise, and the seven left no offspring.

Last of all. The woman also died in the

resurrection. When they rise again, Whose

wife? Will she be?

For the seven had. Her as wife.

And Jesus said to them, is this not the reason you are wrong?

Because you know neither the scriptures nor the power of.

God, you idiots. And it doesn't say that

actually, but for when they rise from the dead, they neither

marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

Because. There is another marriage that

is to come. That is the.

Greater marriage of Christ and the Church.

So we will not have planets, we will not have husbands and wives

ruling those planets. But rather, we will be.

With King. Jesus forever He will be the

groom. And the bride.

Will be the bride. We are all a part of that bride.

No individual marriage is in the resurrection.

So Jesus gets that the tell us of.

Marriage and family points to something greater and.

He he teaches this. And he treats marriage as.

Sacred and holy. You know his first miracle is at

a wedding in Cana of Galilee. But he prioritizes church over

biology. He prioritizes church over

biology. In the present.

As well. As in the.

Future because. He understands the.

Tell us the. Trajectory of marriage and he

models. These priorities for us so.

I'll take you to another passage in Mark's.

Gospel chapter 3. And it's a.

Really. Fascinating chapter, but.

We get to. I'll just read you the very end

of it where Jesus, mother Mary and his brothers came and

they're outside. He's inside, they're standing

outside, which is a pun, which means that they're crazy.

It's. Ecstasis.

Ecstasy is the word we. Have in Greek or English so his

mothers and brothers came and they're standing outside and

they sent to him and and called him and the crowd was sitting

around Jesus and they said to him, your mother and your.

Brothers are outside. Seeking you and he answered

them, who are my mother and my brothers and looking about.

At those who. Sat around him.

He said. Here are my mother and my.

Brothers for whoever does the will of God.

He is my brother and sister and mother.

Intense. Right now, we know.

That later Jesus. Honors his mother.

At the. Crucifixion, we read in John's.

Gospel that Jesus taps the beloved disciple.

Presumably John to be. The caretaker for.

His mom after. Jesus's death.

And so we know that this is. A.

A relative. Kind of of.

Prioritization. Jesus Still.

Honors his biological mother. But he puts the church first.

Do you see that He puts the church first?

Jesus. Didn't stop loving Mary even

during his crucifixion, but he didn't stop loving the.

Bride either. And it was.

For the bride. That he died.

The church. Is my first family, the church

is my first marriage. That's the concept.

That's the. Big idea that we all have to get

it is a. Big change, especially if you

come out of American evangelicalism, is a.

Very big change. It sounds even.

Almost like heresy. Focus on the family.

Of God right focus. On the church.

Because the church. Is my first family.

Other relationships are important, but they're

secondary. I don't neglect my wife or my

kids, but I mustn't pour all of my love and my time and

resources into them. Only that is not practicing.

What? Jesus?

Teaches us. In the gospels, nor is it

practicing what Paul. Models for.

Us in the. Epistles over the years I.

Have observed many of you putting this into practice in

countless. Ways so.

Many I could suspend the rest of the time outlining them.

We're talking about children's ministry a lot right now.

I love how many people have volunteered A gazillion hours.

To care for kids. That are not their biological.

Kids. The church.

Is my first family and kids and youth by the.

Way because we have a. Great youth group now.

Same for the Steven ministers who are brothers and.

Sisters to those who. Are hurting, grieving in need in

one way or another, and they are not biological.

Brothers or sisters? It's awesome.

What a gift. Those who cook and deliver meals

to people in the church who need essentially mom to make them a

meal. And mom maybe isn't living

anymore, or mom doesn't live here.

And so we become mom for one another.

Right. What a great gift.

When we begin to live. As if the church is our first.

Family some of the anguish of hearing somebody else got

engaged and it wasn't me, somebody else had a.

Baby. And it wasn't me.

Some of that anguish becomes diminished because if you think

about it, you can be a parent to.

That child too. And you don't have to change

their diapers all the time. You can be a.

Part of this. Family in meaningful.

Ways right, but it is it. It has to be real you.

Have to step into it. You have.

To be courageous. And sharing your.

Life with others. In a deep.

Way the place to. Start is on Sundays.

I've sent out this article by Rebecca McLaughlin before.

I'll send it out again. I hope you'll.

Read it she. Points out how important it.

Is that we? Care for one another on Sundays.

You guys are such secure. Independent people, why do you

become so insecure on Sundays? I don't understand it you.

Have to sit. With one another and you can't

sit with somebody new? That boggles my mind.

Would you please? Would you please prioritize

people who? Are not the same people.

That you have sat with every. Other time for so long, there is

no reason if you're If your kids are old enough to sit with

others, there's no reason why they couldn't sit with somebody

else and you. Could spread yourself.

Around in the article that Rebecca McLaughlin writes, she

talks about someone who was alone and came to church and

when when people in the church found out, they went and sat,

not two of them on one side. Of of this.

Woman or man, I can't remember, but they went and sat on either.

Side to say hey, you're. A part of our family now, and

it's a beautiful picture of that kind of embrace.

We should just do that. We if if you don't start doing

it, I'm going to. Stop the service.

I'm going to find out who the new people are.

I'm going to make you do it. So that's right.

That's right. So.

That's Sunday's, but not just on Sundays.

How can you? Be a brother or a sister to

others. Midweek.

There are so many ways. This is one of the reasons that

rest. Groups exist.

You should be in one Lena's vision.

Is a great. Vision.

Thank you, Lena. It.

It should be. Everybody's vision.

I. When Ashley May was in Scotland

and she was studying there, she would send us photos and texts

and things from Sundays in Scotland.

Which would be church. And then going.

To eat a cold. Casserole at somebody's.

House that. Had been made on Saturday and

then falling asleep on their sofa.

It was like. Every Sunday and she just said.

This is so. Weird, and it is.

So great. To be together on Sundays, this

is the kind of life. That we should have at Rez so

great that. We can do it three Sundays in

the summer. Could we do it?

Every Sunday in the in the fall. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

OK, so. The big idea?

The church. Is my primary.

Social. Identity It is my first family

before any other family, not only.

Because Jesus is Lord, but also because the Church is the.

Only body. That will last forever.

Every other social group will. Crumble and fall, this is the

one that lasts. So you want to make a good

investment, Invest in this family.

This is the one that will last beyond.

Others Jesus sees. Eternity Jesus prioritizes.

The Church over biology his way. Is the antidote to the

loneliness epidemic. Or whatever it is, it is his way

that will heal. Us he models this love.

For us he calls his disciples to.

Do the same thing so I. Just put it to you, will you

follow Jesus? In prioritizing.

Church over biology.