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Family Survival Kit - The Secret to a Healthy Marriage

Sawyers Creek Sermons

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  1. withstand life's storms. So, in a day of

  2. confusion where people seem to be making

  3. their decisions based on how they feel

  4. instead of what God says, we're going to

  5. turn our attention to a passage of

  6. scripture that inspired Jesus first

  7. sermon, his sermon on the mount. Uh

  8. inspired the conclusion to that sermon

  9. which said that uh if a person builds

  10. their home, builds their family on the

  11. teachings of God, then when the storms

  12. come, and they will come, that that

  13. house will be able to withstand the

  14. storm. their house will not collapse.

  15. And so many scholars believe that as

  16. Jesus taught this parable that he had in

  17. mind Psalm 128, which says this, how

  18. happy. Anybody want to be happy this

  19. morning? On a rainy Sunday morning. You

  20. want some happy? All right. So, here's

  21. how you get some happy. How happy is

  22. everyone who one fears the Lord and two

  23. walks in his ways. You will surely eat

  24. of what your hands have worked for. You

  25. will be happy and it will go well with

  26. you. Your wife will be like a fruitful

  27. vine within the house, your children

  28. like young olive trees around your

  29. table. In this very way, the man who

  30. fears the Lord will be blessed. May the

  31. Lord bless you from Zion so that you

  32. will see prosperity in Jerusalem all the

  33. days of your life. And you will see your

  34. children's children, peace be with

  35. Israel. So the heartbeat of that psalm

  36. is the best thing that you can do for

  37. your world is to have a strong and

  38. healthy family. And the best thing that

  39. you can do for your family is to have a

  40. strong and healthy marriage. And the

  41. best thing that you can do for your

  42. marriage is to have a strong and healthy

  43. soul. So change your heart, change your

  44. family, change the world. Lord, we pray

  45. this morning that you would speak from

  46. your word, that you would help us and

  47. encourage us, Lord. And I know that

  48. there are a lot of people here today

  49. that are in uh difficult marriages. Some

  50. that have been divorced, some that are

  51. widowed, some that are still single. And

  52. Lord, we pray that you would be able to

  53. apply this teaching to every single life

  54. situation that's in this room and those

  55. that are watching online as well. I pray

  56. that your Holy Spirit would have free

  57. access to not only my life but the lives

  58. of my brothers and sisters who are

  59. gathered here in this place. And Lord,

  60. if there are any that are distant from

  61. you today, if there's anyone here today

  62. that does not have a personal

  63. relationship with Jesus, they are not a

  64. Christian, they are not saved, Lord, I

  65. pray that today your Holy Spirit would

  66. knock on the door of their heart, and

  67. that you would speak to them through the

  68. music, through the prayers, through the

  69. message. Lord, I pray that you would

  70. reach them with the gospel. Help them to

  71. know that they are loved and cherished

  72. enough that you sent your son, Jesus, to

  73. die on the cross for them. And I pray

  74. that in light of that love, they would

  75. respond to you by giving their lives to

  76. you. And Lord, if they have a family, I

  77. pray that in that moment, not only would

  78. you strengthen their soul, but you would

  79. begin to strengthen that relationship

  80. and that marriage that they are part of

  81. as well. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

  82. Healthy marriages have a healthy fear of

  83. God. So Psalm 128 gives us a little

  84. sneak peek into God's playbook about how

  85. to make a better world. Uh we know we

  86. can pray for people. We do that all the

  87. time. We know we can give money to

  88. people in need. We do that all the time

  89. as well. But there's this other great

  90. resource that God has given us to make

  91. our community a better place. And what

  92. it is is a strong and healthy marriage.

  93. And so you might say, "Well, how do I

  94. get one of those?" I don't know, but God

  95. does. So don't follow my example, follow

  96. God's example. Um, so Psalm 128:1, he

    Psalms 128:1

  97. says, "How happy is everyone who fears

  98. the Lord, who walks in his ways." Back

  99. in the day, in the 90s, when I was in

  100. high school, I saved up my allowance and

  101. I got one of those No fear t-shirts.

  102. Anybody remember those? It was like a a

  103. a trend in the 90s, anything that had to

  104. do with fear, it was really popular. Um,

  105. so I got me a No Fear shirt. Uh, the

  106. guys at school that had the trucks, they

  107. they got the ain't scared, like the

  108. bumper stickers on the back of the

  109. trucks and stuff. And uh, but what I

  110. didn't know at the time was that's

  111. actually very theologically sound

  112. because the most common command in all

  113. of the Bible is do not be afraid. God

  114. did not give you a spirit of fear. He

  115. gave you a spirit of courage. And so if

  116. God did not give it to you, then you

  117. don't have to keep it. So if you're

  118. scared of things, if you're scared of

  119. people, if you're scared of change, if

  120. you're scared of stepping out in

  121. ministry, if you're scared of uh leading

  122. your your team or whatever, like if you

  123. have that fear, God didn't give it to

  124. you. So you don't have to keep it.

  125. However, there is one thing in scripture

  126. that God says that we need to be afraid

  127. of, and that is God himself. But it's

  128. not the the fear of God like ah it's

  129. it's fear of God out of awe and respect

  130. for who he is. So fear of God according

  131. to scripture is the beginning of

  132. knowledge. It it's the beginning of

  133. wisdom. If you want to be smart, if you

  134. want to be wise, you start with a

  135. healthy fear of God. The Bible says that

  136. a fear of God is the portal to a a

  137. better marriage. It's a portal to a

  138. better parenting. It's a portal to a

  139. better world. So, what does it mean to

  140. fear God? Well, just look at some of

  141. these pictures that are up on the

  142. screen. This is amazing. This is James

  143. Webb telescope bringing us some images

  144. from the heavens that we've never seen

  145. before. The the rings of Jupiter up

  146. close. We see the that first picture was

  147. called the the hand of God. Um, so

  148. there's just this incredible uh cosmos

  149. that we are a part of. And what you need

  150. to understand is the God that sent Jesus

  151. to the cross for you is the same God

  152. that created the cosmos. He created

  153. everything that we see. And so what we

  154. should do is we should retract in terror

  155. at the the mere thought of a being that

  156. is so vast and so immense and so beyond

  157. anything that we could ever entertain.

  158. We should be scared of him, but we're

  159. not. We're actually attracted to him. We

  160. we draw near to God. We should be

  161. afraid, but we're not because we know

  162. that Jesus loves us. So what do we do?

  163. We respect God. We revere his

  164. commandments. We We stand in awe of who

  165. he is. And we understand that he loved

  166. us enough to send Jesus to the cross.

  167. That's why I love that song where it

  168. says Jesus bled like a lamb, but he also

  169. roared like a lion. That that's a

  170. healthy fear of God. It's understanding

  171. that he is the lion that you should be

  172. afraid of, but he is also the the lamb

  173. that went to the cross for you. And what

  174. happens is a healthy fear of God leads

  175. you to walking in his ways. And when you

  176. walk in the ways of God, you develop a

  177. strong and healthy soul. And when you

  178. develop a strong and healthy soul, you

  179. are then able to develop a strong and

  180. healthy marriage. And when you have a

  181. strong and healthy marriage, you can

  182. have a strong and healthy community or

  183. city according to the scripture. And if

  184. you have a strong and healthy city, then

  185. you can have a strong and healthy

  186. country. And if you have a strong and

  187. healthy country, then the blessings of

  188. God can ripple out to the very ends of

  189. the world. So, let's back up for a

  190. second. If you're learning to fly a

  191. plane, when do you want to learn to fly

  192. the

  193. plane? Before you get in the plane,

  194. right? So, for anybody that's single

  195. that's listening or watching, uh, let me

  196. just say that your your desire that you

  197. should have more than anything else is

  198. not to to be to be married or to be

  199. dating. Your number one desire according

  200. to scripture should be to fear God and

  201. walk in his ways. Like the first thing

  202. you do is get a strong and healthy soul.

  203. And then the scripture teaches us that

  204. we should look for someone else that

  205. fears God and walks in his ways. Someone

  206. that shares your convictions. And you

  207. might say, "Well, but he's so cute."

  208. Well, I'm glad he's cute. But guess

  209. what? Beauty fades. Unless you're me.

  210. Um, everybody else, beauty fades over

  211. time. So what you want to do is find

  212. someone who has Jesus' name written on

  213. their heart the same way that Jesus name

  214. is written on your heart. And when you

  215. do that, then you can walk in the ways

  216. of the Lord together. And you can write

  217. a beautiful story uh with your lives. So

  218. if you're uh walking in the the ways

  219. that God wants you to walk, you're going

  220. to find a spouse that shares your

  221. convictions. And some would say, "Well,

  222. PK, you're kind of oversimplifying

  223. this." But I really don't think I am

  224. because let's go back to Psalm 10 128

  225. and look at the first three

  226. verses. How happy is everyone. That's

  227. all y'all. How happy is everyone who

  228. fears the Lord and walks in his ways.

  229. You will surely eat what your hands have

  230. worked for. You will be happy and it

  231. will go well with you. And your wife

  232. will be like a fruitful vine within your

  233. house. And your children, we're going to

  234. talk about that in a couple weeks. Your

  235. children are like young olive trees

  236. around your table. So maybe you're

  237. feeling overwhelmed today because you're

  238. walking in here as a single person who

  239. doesn't want to be single. Or perhaps

  240. you're walking in here with a marriage

  241. that is really far from where you

  242. actually want your marriage to be. Or

  243. perhaps you're discouraged because

  244. you're feeling excluded today because

  245. divorce is a part of your story. Well, I

  246. want to make one thing perfectly clear.

  247. God never shames you for your past. He

  248. is always fighting for your future. And

  249. according to the scripture, in your

  250. future, you can have fruitfulness. So

  251. just keep that in mind. And also,

  252. spoiler alert, there are no perfect

  253. marriages. Anybody got a perfect

  254. marriage in

  255. here? All right. So, just want to make

  256. sure. Um, so no perfect marriages. So

  257. you you may have heard people say that

  258. like opposites attract. Um, they usually

  259. say that when you're engaged. Um, but

  260. then after you've been married for a

  261. little while, it's more like opposites

  262. attack. Like at first it's, "Oh, they're

  263. so cute. They're so different than me.

  264. They just complete me." And then after a

  265. time, it's like, "They're so different

  266. than me." You know, like that's most

  267. people's experience in in marriage.

  268. Um, I was brave, boy. Cindy's here, too.

  269. Larry. Larry.

  270. man, get saved. All right, so

  271. um I I almost I thought I was dying.

  272. Just gonna be very honest with you. I

  273. thought I was on my deathbed. Uh I I

  274. kept having these these moments where I

  275. felt like I was going to spontaneously

  276. combust. Like I would get so hot and so

  277. sweaty and I just I I thought I had some

  278. like weird disease. So I like called the

  279. CDC. I'm like, "You need to send the

  280. guys in the the hazmat suits to my house

  281. because I got some weird plague or

  282. something." I'm just I feel like I'm

  283. going to explode. Like, and it kept

  284. happening over and over and over. And I

  285. told my wife about it and she's like,

  286. "Well, you need to call your doctor."

  287. And I'm like, "Okay, maybe it's my

  288. medication or something. I don't know. I

  289. need to get this figured out." But then

  290. one day, I was in my car and I looked

  291. down. I saw these three red lights on my

  292. dash I'd never seen before. I'm like,

  293. "What are those things?" So, I looked up

  294. the little icon on my phone and it turns

  295. out that I got a seat heater in my car.

  296. I had no idea. Yeah. Yeah. And it was on

  297. full blast. So I went back and told my

  298. wife and she's like, "Oh yeah, I

  299. borrowed your car." And I always keep my

  300. heat seater on or heat seater. Heat

  301. seater. Seater and heater. Seat heater.

  302. Thank you. And I'm like, so I'm so

  303. flustered. So I need you all to be the

  304. judge and jury on this. All right. So is

  305. it my fault for not knowing what the

  306. three lights are or is No, you got to

  307. hear my side.

  308. It's the most non-reverential sermon

  309. I've ever preached. Or is it her fault

  310. for borrowing my car and not setting it

  311. back to its original settings?

  312. I knew you were going to say thank you.

  313. It's both. I agree. Um, we're both

  314. wrong. I like

  315. that.

  316. Anyway, there are no healthy marriages

  317. that are absolutely perfect. However,

  318. there can be marriages that produce

  319. fruit. So, the good news is that God

  320. doesn't call your marriage to be

  321. perfect. He doesn't command you to have

  322. a perfect relationship with your spouse,

  323. which is great because I was an only

  324. child, as you could just tell. Um, I'm

  325. an only child. I need my stuff the way I

  326. want my stuff, right? And my wife is

  327. from a big family and so she doesn't

  328. have that same mindset. So, when we got

  329. married, we clashed a lot. But the good

  330. news is that God never told us that we

  331. have to love each other perfectly every

  332. single day like it's some 1960s sitcom.

  333. Okay? But what he does say about

  334. marriage is that it should produce

  335. fruit. He says it's like a fruitful

  336. vine. So when you walk with God and you

  337. walk in his ways and you labor with your

  338. hands, the thing that is the outcome of

  339. that is you're going to have a marriage

  340. that over time becomes like a fruitful

  341. vine. So So why does God choose to use

  342. the metaphor of a a healthy vine to

  343. illustrate a healthy marriage? So I

  344. believe it's well first of all you got

  345. to understand that like this is the Old

  346. Testament which was written by Jewish

  347. thinkers and Jewish people think more

  348. poetically than Greek thinkers. So when

  349. you ask a Greek thinker, which I think I

  350. would be uh to describe God, I would

  351. talk about his omnipotence, his

  352. omniscience, all the omni words, right?

  353. But when you ask a Jewish person to

  354. describe God, they will use metaphors

  355. and analogies. They will say he is a

  356. rock. He is a fountain of blessing. He

  357. is a he is the bread of life. And so

  358. what we're going to do is we're going to

  359. lean into the metaphor of scripture that

  360. is being used here to understand why God

  361. chose a fruitful vine to be the

  362. illustration of what it's like to have a

  363. a a wife in the heart of the home that

  364. is being um that that is that is healthy

  365. and growing and producing fruit. So he

  366. uses a the picture of a vineyard because

  367. there's like a magnetism to a vineyard.

  368. If you've ever been to a vineyard and

  369. you just walk around through the the

  370. grapes, it's one of the most beautiful

  371. places on earth. As a matter of fact, a

  372. couple years ago, we had a a funeral for

  373. a family member and after the funeral

  374. was over, we had a reception for the

  375. family at a vineyard and it was just

  376. most just this peaceful, beautiful

  377. place. And so after we we talked for a

  378. while, I went out and just kind of

  379. wandered through the the vines looking

  380. at the beauty around me. And I noticed

  381. that they had a wedding set up. Uh like

  382. the chairs and stuff were out and I

  383. noticed people milling around. And I'm

  384. like, "Cool, there might be like a

  385. wedding here." So, I just thought I'd

  386. kind of watch uh what it looked like cuz

  387. it was so beautiful. It was really weird

  388. at first though because um the the the

  389. pastor officient, I don't know who it

  390. was that some guy came out and he was

  391. wearing a hood and he had to pull down

  392. real far and it was like this cloak and

  393. he walks out to the middle, you know,

  394. and then the groom comes out and I'm

  395. like, "Oh my gosh." The groom was

  396. dressed like Han Solo. So, so Han Solo

  397. comes out and he's followed by his

  398. groomsman with all dressed like Wookies.

  399. So, he's got all the Wookies. Han Solo

  400. and then of course Princess Leia walks

  401. down the aisle and she takes her place

  402. and there's like Jedi out from her and

  403. I'm like, "Oh my good, a Star Wars

  404. themed wedding in the middle of a

  405. vineyard." But before the the sci-fi

  406. convention broke out, it was a beautiful

  407. setting, right? It was just the perfect

  408. place to get married. And that's why

  409. Jesus chose this this illustration, this

  410. metaphor to teach us about what it looks

  411. like when you have a a healthy home. So

  412. if your spouse is stressing you out or

  413. your marriage has got you worried, what

  414. Jesus says is that you need to connect

  415. with him and walk in the vineyard with

  416. him. Remember Jesus teaching in John

    John 15:5

  417. 15:5, he says, "I am the the vine and

  418. you are

  419. the branches." and if you remain in me,

  420. you will produce much. So Jesus had this

  421. Psalm 128 in mind as he was teaching

  422. that passage of scripture to people. He

  423. was saying, "Look, come to me. I've got

  424. this I've got nail scarred hands. I paid

  425. the price for your admission into this

  426. vineyard. So enjoy the thing that I have

  427. created for you." See, Jesus wants your

  428. marriage to to thrive. And he explains

  429. that in this metaphor because vines need

  430. to be cultivated. The the word

  431. cultivated means to promote growth with

  432. labor, skill, and attention. I'll just

  433. say it this way. You can't force

  434. fruit. Husbands, you can't force fruit.

  435. Wives, you can't force fruit. That's not

  436. how it works. You have to cultivate

  437. fruit. It says you eat from the labor of

  438. your hands. That means there's something

  439. that you need to do in the marriage to

  440. help the marriage be healthy. The guy

  441. that or the the person that works with

  442. the the vines in the vineyard is called

  443. a husbandman. And that really is the

  444. literal technical definition of someone

  445. who takes care of the vines, who helps

  446. them to produce growth. And it turns out

  447. that to get a healthy grape vine in most

  448. regions, it takes up to three years. So

  449. again, it's work, but it's not immediate

  450. gratification.

  451. If you lean into this metaphor, what you

  452. learn is that it could take years of

  453. diligent work to produce a strong and

  454. healthy marriage. You have to cultivate

  455. it. It takes time. It takes work. So,

  456. you have to ask this question. What are

  457. you cultivating in your marriage? Are

  458. you putting the hard work in? Are you

  459. putting the time in? Are you getting

  460. your hands dirty? Are you checked in,

  461. checked out, and giving up? or are you

  462. focused on helping the marriage get

  463. better? The the Napa Valley, which grows

  464. a lot of the grapes that go into the

  465. wine that um you all drink, uh they they

  466. they actually use NASA scientists. They

  467. use NASA scientists, these um

  468. technicians and this equipment that they

  469. would normally use to look at the

  470. surface of the moon and the surface of

  471. Mars. They hire NASA scientists to come

  472. out and fly these planes 10,000 feet

  473. over the Napa Valley to look at the

  474. environment to use thermal imaging

  475. technology to understand the soil and

  476. the water and how the topography and the

  477. exposure to sun affects the growth of

  478. the grapes. And as I was reading that

  479. story, I read about one husband that

  480. said he's got 800 acres that he takes

  481. care of, but he says, "I don't think

  482. about it as one vineyard. I've got 800

  483. acres that's broken up in my mind into

  484. 167 different blocks. And all of those

  485. 167 different blocks have different

  486. needs throughout different seasons in

  487. different climates. So what I'm telling

  488. you today is that your marriage has

  489. different blocks. It's not just one

  490. thing. There are different components to

  491. it. There are different seasons of it.

  492. Needs are going to change. So, there's

  493. no way in one sermon that I can just get

  494. up here and give you a one-sizefits-all

  495. way to fix what's broken in your

  496. marriage or to restore things that have

  497. kind of fallen off over time. What you

  498. need to do is you need to listen to the

  499. spirit of God because he acts like those

  500. NASA planes flying over your

  501. relationship, giving you information

  502. about what is working and what isn't

  503. working in your marriage. And so when

  504. you feel prompted, you need to ask the

  505. question of your yourself and your

  506. spouse like what needs more water? What

  507. needs more attention? What needs

  508. adjusting? What what needs in your life

  509. are not being met? How could this get

  510. better? And what you'll notice if you

  511. take the time to ask those questions is

  512. you will cultivate a a relationship of

  513. love and romance and security and

  514. laughter because it's not you doing it,

  515. it's God working in you. So, so how does

  516. that actually work? Well, we got to

  517. remember that vines not only are they

  518. cultivated, but they cling. So, what the

  519. husband men would do is he would go out

  520. and he he or she would put these posts

  521. in the ground and and they put wires

  522. between the posts and they'd use

  523. turnbuckles to make them strong and then

  524. they would train the vines up the wires

  525. and those vines would eventually spread

  526. out, produce branches which would then

  527. produce grapes. But what I want you to

  528. understand is the staying power of the

  529. vi of the of the plant is the vine

  530. itself. So the power to stay connected

  531. till death do us part or for better for

  532. worse for richer for poorer in sickness

  533. and in health. The power to as Genesis

    Genesis 2:24

  534. 2:24 says to leave your father and

  535. mother and cleave and start a new new

  536. relationship a new family with your

  537. husband to where two become one. The

  538. power to say that we're not messing

  539. around, that we're in this for the long

  540. haul, that we are ride or die, never say

  541. die spirit, that kind of thing. The

  542. ability to produce that kind of fruit

  543. does not come from your willpower. It

  544. does not come from your skill set. It

  545. comes from the vine's ability to cling

  546. to the promises that God has for us.

  547. which makes that whole statement of

  548. Jesus made where he says I am the vine

  549. and you are the and if you remain in him

  550. then you will produce much. That's

  551. right. So what God is saying is it's not

  552. about you to be able to cling on to the

  553. promises of God. That's not your

  554. responsibility. You hang out with Jesus.

  555. You stay connected to him and he will

  556. hang on to the promises of God for you

  557. and your spouse. He does the

  558. stabilizing. He does the holding. He

  559. does the clinging. And as long as you

  560. can stay connected to him, then your

  561. relationship will produce much fruit. As

  562. a matter of fact, vines will climb

  563. almost infinitely. Just go look at my

  564. backyard. I got all kinds of vines and

  565. they're climbing up my trees and I can't

  566. do anything about it. And they're

  567. they're actually destroying my backyard.

  568. But we're talking about grapes here.

  569. We're talking about beautiful vines that

  570. do something good for uh the world,

  571. right? So these vines will grow to

  572. almost infinity if you allow them to. So

  573. what that teaches us, if again we're

  574. leaning into this metaphor that God is

  575. using, is that you don't have to fear

  576. your marriage getting stale. You don't

  577. have to fear your marriage being

  578. trapped. Like if you're connected to the

  579. right vine, if you're connected to

  580. Jesus, then you're going to have a

  581. healthy soul. And healthy souls lead to

  582. healthy marriages. So your marriage will

  583. then be filled with fruit. There there's

  584. literally no end to what God can do in

  585. your marriage. Now again, will there be

  586. storms? Yes. That's why Jesus closed the

  587. sermon reminding us that people that

  588. build their house on the rock and people

  589. that build their house on the sand,

  590. they're both going to face storms.

  591. There's going to be storms in your

  592. marriage. But keep this in mind. Even

  593. the most healthy, productive grape vine

  594. in the world only produces fruit between

  595. 100 to 150 days out of the year. That

  596. means there's a lot of drought. There's

  597. a lot of dry season. There's a lot of

  598. time where that vine is not producing

  599. fruit. Think about another way. The the

  600. grapes that are turned into wine,

  601. they're they're crushed. They used to do

  602. that by stomping on them. I found out

  603. they used to use your feet and stomp the

  604. the grapes. Now they use these presses.

  605. It's all mechanized now, but What that

  606. means is like there's a crushing season

  607. as well. But the beauty of that is if

  608. you're in a marriage where there's a

  609. crushing season or in a a drought,

  610. there's still hope. There's still the

  611. ability for God to produce fruit in you

  612. and in that relationship because he's

  613. always working for the good of those

  614. that turn to him in the seasons of

  615. crushing and the seasons of doubt. See,

  616. vines need to be connected to something.

  617. We would call that something a trellis.

  618. Vines need to be connected to a trellis.

  619. And so you would say, well, what what is

  620. the trellis? What is biblically? What is

  621. God telling me that the trellis is? And

  622. the answer is in Ephesians chapter

    Ephesians 5 chapter mention

  623. 5 says that we need to be filled with

  624. the spirit. We need to submit to one

  625. another in marriage and we need to be

  626. connected to the church. So, we need to

  627. be connected to the Holy Spirit of God

  628. as a married couple. We need to be

  629. connected to to one another emotionally

  630. and physically. And we need to be

  631. connected to, get this, the church. And

  632. I would encourage you to fact check me

  633. on this one, go Google it, find out for

  634. yourself if you don't believe me. But

  635. the what the what studies have shown

  636. over and over again, is that people who

  637. attend church together have stronger,

  638. healthier, and longer marriages. The the

  639. most recent study that I could find was

  640. done by the University of Virginia in

  641. collaboration with Harvard University.

  642. It was called the human flourishing

  643. project. And they concluded in their

  644. study that you are as much as 50% less

  645. likely to divorce if you are actively

  646. engaged in a Christian church together.

  647. So keep your vine attached to the

  648. trellis, not just to to God, not just to

  649. his promises, but also to the church

  650. that he created, and your marriage will

  651. be able to grow to infinity and beyond.

  652. Sorry, I had to do that. There's I'll

  653. say it better. There's no end to what

  654. God can do in your relationship if you

  655. stay connected to the support system

  656. that he has given you. And then lastly,

  657. vines have a they have a goal.

  658. Your marriage needs a goal that's

  659. greater than just getting Billy into

  660. college or Sally to soccer practice.

  661. Like those things are good. It's good

  662. goals to have. But God has a greater

  663. goal for your marriage. And that

  664. marriage that is to produce much fruit.

  665. And of course, he's talking about

  666. spiritual fruit. Love, joy, peace,

  667. patience, kindness, goodness,

  668. gentleness, self-control. That's what

  669. God wants to develop in your in your

  670. marriage. But he's also talking about a

  671. more practical thing where you just have

  672. this healthy home where when you come

  673. and your heart is broken, you have

  674. someone there that can cry with you. And

  675. if you come and have a a great day and

  676. your heart is happy, you have someone

  677. there that will laugh with you. So, let

  678. me close by saying that if your marriage

  679. is in a drought today, then what I'm

  680. saying is that you have to do some work.

  681. And what I've noticed is a lot of times

  682. we're quick to complain, but we're we're

  683. kind of slow to cultivate So God says,

  684. "You you gota you got to get your hands

  685. dirty. I I can't solve all your pro like

  686. you have to be involved in this. You're

  687. going to need to maybe change some

  688. priorities and change some schedules.

  689. You're going to have to have these maybe

  690. real difficult conversations. But what

  691. I'd tell you is you only need to add one

  692. grape at a time. The the average bottle

  693. of wine has 1,42 grapes in it, which is

  694. really funny, by the way, because I've

  695. never had a drop of wine in my life. And

  696. like I'm giving you all these wine

  697. statistics. So, thank goodness for

  698. Google, I guess. But, um, anyway, I'm a

  699. tea totler when it comes to alcohol. But

  700. the the thing is like the these these

  701. grapes, like it's one at a time, and it

  702. it finally builds into something that's

  703. worth having. So, what you need to do is

  704. just add one grape at a time. It's one

  705. one simple change at a time in your

  706. relationship. It's one conversation at a

  707. time. It's one prayer at a time. It's

  708. one worship service at a time. It's one

  709. one walking in God's ways at a time. And

  710. according to Psalm 128, if you just put

  711. one thing in at a time, then there will

  712. be fruit that's in your future. As I was

  713. studying, I came across an article about

  714. this restaurant in Paris. It's been

  715. there forever. And they have a wine

  716. seller with, get this,

  717. 320,000 bottles of wine in their wine

  718. celler. And some of these bottles go all

  719. the way back to

  720. 1845. And I also read in the article,

  721. they had a bottle that went all the way

  722. back to 1811. But get this, an employee

  723. actually accidentally broke it. Um, his

  724. resume is on indeed.com and it says used

  725. to work at a winery, you know. So

  726. anyway, but the interesting part of the

  727. article was that these when the Germans

  728. invaded France in 1940, the owner of

  729. this restaurant flew back to the

  730. restaurant and he built a tunnel, a wall

  731. over the tunnel that was leading to the

  732. section of the the um winery that had

  733. the oldest bottles of wine. And so when

  734. the German soldiers came into the

  735. restaurant, they saw the new bottles and

  736. they took all of those, but they didn't

  737. find the old stuff. So the question is

  738. why did he protect the old

  739. wine? That's right. Because the old

  740. stuff gets better with age. It gets it

  741. gets more valuable over time. So let me

  742. leave you with this. God didn't buy into

  743. this cultural lie that over time our

  744. marriages will get worse. What God wants

  745. to produce in your heart, what he wants

  746. to produce in your home, what he wants

  747. to produce in your marriage is literally

  748. something that gets better over time.

  749. Something that gets more valuable over

  750. time. God is producing in your soul and

  751. then if you get married into your

  752. marriage, a fruit that is so valuable

  753. that the enemy is going to want to come

  754. and steal it from you. And so what you

  755. have to determine in your life is to

  756. build a wall of pro of protection

  757. protecting your marriage. How do you do

  758. that? You fear God. You walk in his

  759. ways. You do the hard work of

  760. cultivating growth in the marriage. You

  761. stay connected to the vine. You stay

  762. connected to Jesus. You allow him to

  763. hold on to all those promises that God

  764. has for you. And then you submit to one

  765. another in spirit. You submit to the

  766. Holy Spirit. And your marriage will

  767. climb to new heights as it produces more

  768. valuable fruits over time. Things do get

  769. better with age. But it all starts all

  770. of that starts with one decision. One

  771. decision. Whether you're single or or

  772. widowed, divorced, or married. It starts

  773. with one decision. And that decision is

  774. to fear God and walk in his ways. So let

  775. me pray that God will give you a spirit

  776. that would be able to do that today.

  777. Father, first of all, I just want to

  778. thank you for the people that you've

  779. placed in my life over the years that

  780. have modeled for me what a a healthy

  781. marriage should look like. Lord, I'm

  782. glad there's no perfect marriages

  783. because I would just get discouraged.

  784. But Lord, I I am glad that there are

  785. marriages that serve as examples for us

  786. to look at and to try to emulate. So, I

  787. thank you for that blessing. Lord, I

  788. also thank you for the blessing of not

  789. having to do this on my own. Lord, I

  790. thank you that I don't have to to try to

  791. cling to to anything because my strength

  792. is it's weak. But God, I thank you so

  793. much that you gave us Jesus to be the

  794. one who clings to the promises of God

  795. for us so that we as the branches, if we

  796. just stay connected to him and his

  797. spirit and his word, if we pray, if we

  798. come to church, Lord, you will fill our

  799. souls with things that will produce

  800. healthy fruit. But Lord, we also

  801. recognize in any marriage there are two

  802. people involved. And so sometimes one

  803. person is is following you and fearing

  804. you and walking in your ways and the

  805. other person is drifting. And we know

  806. that creates a challenge. So Lord, for

  807. them, for people in that situation, I

  808. pray that today that they will know that

  809. you are always in the restoration

  810. business. Lord, that the only thing that

  811. they can control in any situation is

  812. themselves and how they respond. So

  813. Lord, as they put in the work and try

  814. their best, I pray that you would bless

  815. that and that you would reach that other

  816. person and that you would propel them

  817. into a better relationship with you so

  818. that fruit could be produced. Lord, we

  819. also pray for those that have their

  820. heart broken this morning. Maybe they

  821. feel disqualified from even hearing this

  822. message because of the different

  823. circumstances that they've been through

  824. in their relationships. And I pray that

  825. all those schemes of the enemy would

  826. just fly out the window right now. And

  827. that they would see that you are a God

  828. of love. That you are not punishing them

  829. for past decisions. That you are a God

  830. of their future, fighting for them and

  831. helping them to be able to get to a

  832. place where they can produce fruit

  833. individually in their soul and also

  834. fruit as a a married person maybe later

  835. on. And Lord, for the marriages in the

  836. room that are strained, I pray that you

  837. would help them to be able to find peace

  838. and knowing that it's just one grape at

  839. a time. It's just one conversation at a

  840. time. It's just one thing at a time that

  841. will eventually add up to something that

  842. is absolutely great. Lord, help them to

  843. know that that's the truth. Help them to

  844. sing Psalm 128 in their heart and

  845. believe that their f their future is

  846. fruitfulness. Lord, I pray for the young

  847. people in the room that are in the

  848. dating process. I pray that you would

  849. give them discernment of the people that

  850. they they yoke themselves to, Lord. that

  851. you would help them to see uh to find

  852. people that share a conviction of loving

  853. you and serving you and walking in your

  854. ways. And Lord, I pray that you would

  855. provide them opportunities to meet that

  856. person if that's what your will wants

  857. them to do. But ultimately, Lord, we

  858. just want to leave by thinking about

  859. Jesus on the cross and his amazing love

  860. that he displayed for us. Lord, the

  861. thing that gives us hope into the

  862. future, the thing that stabilizes our

  863. relationships is the fact that Jesus

  864. paid the price for our sin on that

  865. cross. He bled like a lamb so that we

  866. could find eternal life, so that we

  867. could find truth and abundance here on

  868. this earth. So Lord, help us to cling to

  869. those promises today, to see him high

  870. and lifted up and to find our our

  871. courage and our strength to take these

  872. next steps to restore broken

  873. relationships in the power of Jesus

  874. because we see the gift that he gave us

  875. on the cross and the gift of his spirit

  876. that indwells within us. And finally,

  877. Lord, if there are any that are

  878. separated from you today, I pray that

  879. today would be the day of their

  880. salvation. That they would not leave

  881. this place without coming to talk to me

  882. about how they can become a Christian.

  883. We pray these things with great

  884. confidence because we pray in the holy

  885. and wonderful name of Jesus Christ.

  886. Amen. Please

  887. [Music]

  888. stand. I

  889. have to follow Jesus.

  890. I have

  891. decided to follow

  892. Jesus. I have

  893. decided to follow

  894. Jesus. No turning

  895. back. No turning back.

  896. [Music]

  897. with

  898. me. I still will

  899. follow none with

  900. me. I still will

  901. follow none with

  902. me. I still will

  903. follow. No

  904. turn. No turn.

  905. My cross I'll

  906. carry till I see

  907. Jesus. My cross I'll

  908. carry till I see Jesus.

  909. My cross I'm

  910. carry till I see

  911. Jesus. No turning

  912. back. No turning

  913. back. The world behind

  914. me. The cross before

  915. me. The world behind

  916. me. The cross before me.

  917. The world behind

  918. me, the cross

  919. Turning

  920. back. No turn back.