Relationship Series 2024 - Part 1: We Are Made for Relationships | Andy Yeoh

Hey, you welcome to the Generation's Church podcast. We pray you will be

blessed by this message today. I made a word of God both encourage and

challenge you to be all God purpose you to be. Now, let's dive

right in. The title of today's message is simply this. We are made

for relationships. Relationships are so important, not just relationship. This is why

doing relationships well because many people don't know how to do it well, and

many don't have God the third cord in their relationship to keep them strong.

And we who are part of God's family and God's Church, we have and

we have we have something. We have the Word of God to guide us.

We have the Holy Spirit to be there for us. I think,

come on, come on, church. We we should be able to model

out what a healthy godly relationship should be. I'm not saying we need to

be perfect. There will never be a perfect relationship, but we can model

up. Amen. The more I go out there and I meet these students,

the more I realized, Wow, this world is a broken place and

most of the issue is relational issue. Yeah, relational issue. I didn't

meet one student who's got both parents in that we're talking about seventy students at

his camera. It's quite mad, quite mad. So I think we need

to be determined to do relationships. Well, Amen, God made relationships.

It's his design. Therefore there is his way to do it. And if

we follow his way, we will tend to be blessed. So God made

relationships and God made us for relationships. The scripture show us that God designed

us for relationship, and he did so through introduces himself in scriptures through relational

languages, over and over again. Yeah, let's look at some scriptures.

John Tree was three to four for God sent him and he speaks God's words

since he gave his spirit without measure. The Father loves the son. You

can study all religions in the world. I think Christianity is the only one

that calls God father and the Father calls his son. Yeah, very relational

language. You can see God's intention and what He's trying to do. Matew

nineteen, Go therefore, make disciples our nations. Baptism in the name of

the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit very often mentioned in one sentence,

although there are one God, but almost like it's there to portray a

relationship, a loving relationship for us to see John fifteen fifteen. I do

not call you slaves anymore because a slave doesn't know what his master is doing.

Your friends, Amen, God has called us friend again, another relational

language. It tells us how God wants to relate to us and tells us

how much relationship ranks in his mind. It's high if it's in five twenty

five to twenty seven and then two thirty three. Husband, love your wives.

Of course, this is a message to the husband, right, But

then God relates it to the church, as Christ loved the church. So

in this picture Christ is the bridegroom the husband, the Church is the bride

the wife. Again, God is trying to show us that he wants us

to be in relationship. Amen, and look at us thirty two. This

mystery is profound, and I'm saying that he refers to Christ and the Church.

So God is explaining his own analogy. Revelations nineteen seven. Let us

rejoice and exult and give him glory for the marriage of the lamb. Who's

the lamb, Jesus Christ has come and his bride who's the bride us?

Oh? Again, this picture of relationship and marriage and love Isaiah fifty five,

Verse four, for your maker. If it's not direct enough, God

says, for your maker is your husband. The Lord of Hosts is his

name. And the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer, the God of

the whole earth. He is called Amen. God is a husband, we

the church. He's bride again. Relationship, marriage, love, intimacy.

God wants this, Amen, So I think we should be determined to do

relationship as well. How do you like to how many of you have been

in an elevator before? An elevator? Okay? Good? Elevators are unusual

places, right, especially crowded ones. Crowded elevators. Once you go in,

you're packed like Suddin's and you're pretty much close, like standing inches away

from people you don't know, oh goad right, and you try not to

touch them, no matter how crowded, try not to touch them. You

have your back blocking you, or your groceries blocking you, or something or

you something like or your puppy. Okay, you try, and nobody talks

to each other. You're like inches away and you don't even like, Hey,

how are your house? The weather? You don't You're trying not to

look at anyone. You try to look up or look at the number with

my floor, or I'm on the eighty a floor. Oh my gosh,

how long more have you ever noticed this? Two people talking walking into the

leaf and then they stopped talking. The most awkward place on earth is the

elevator. Strange things, strange things go on in elevators, you know.

I read I read a story There was a bunch of crazy bunch of friends,

very crazy friends are They love to joke around and all that, and

uh they bb three four all them and they were talking and joking and laughing,

and then they were about to go into an elevator. The door opened

and it was crowded, but they squeezed themselves in anyway. Okay, the

last guy, his name is Jimbo. So one by one of the friend

went into a crowded elevator. The last guy stepped in and the door closed

and he had no room to turn around. So he's like facing everybody,

and then his mouth very big and said, ah, y'all must be wondering

what this meeting is for. And everybody burst out laughing and burst out laughing

and had a good time. And the whole atmosphere that live change now in

many respects. That elevator story. That picture is a microcosm of our society.

You know, our world is a large place. It's large by its

impersonal. We walked past each other every day. There's anonymity, there's isolation,

and people are trying to be independent from each other. It shows that

people can be surrounded by lots and lots of people and still be lonely.

Yep, you know what I'm talking about. People can be surrounded by other

people in a crowded setting and not experienced community. We can be part of

a company, we can be part of a club. We can even be

part of a church and still not feel belonged nor feel accepted. How often

have you heard that I don't feel belong here, I don't feel accepted.

Nobody talk to me. The pastor didn't smile like me, he didn't shake

my hand. Oh you're the pasta everybody except me? Oh my gosh,

when is it going to be my ten? I'm gonna get now one days

soon. Even in the church, right, you know, in the church,

even in your gig, in your small group of eight people, even

sometimes in a small group or that you can still feel alienated. Because recently,

someone just told me that someone just told me he feels different than everybody

else in the small group. I could not relate. I didn't have the

same experiences and more importantly, dating have the same experiences as me. So

I feel like I'm an outsider small group. This is our world. This

is our world. Eight billion people on Earth, and people are lonely and

alone. You know, Paul was someone who traveled everywhere. He was born

in Tasars, He was educated in Jerusalem. He lived in Damascus. He

spent his formative time in the desert. He moved to Antioch, and then

there was only the beginning. Professionally, he ventured out from Antioch onto three

extensive missionary campaigns, traveling from city to city. You hear about someone like

that, you think, wow, he must have very good relationship because he's

always traveling, always moving. But you can read from his letters that he

was someone who invested in relationship and has very very close relationship intimate ones.

Right wherever he went, he would establish groups or bands of people that would

huddle together and in the will become very supportive and encouraging community. So Paul,

although he was quite nomadic, seems to me looks like to me someone

who understood the power of relationship, the power of depth of relationship, and

he built that wherever he went. Amen, Now how was he able to

create such significant relationships? First Testilonians two, verse seven to eight gives us

some clues. All right, he said, So Paul Paul is writing.

Yeah, he's writing to the Testilonians. It's one of his most personal letters.

If you read the letter, it's very personal. He said this.

Although we could have been a burden as Christ's apostles, instead, we were

gentle among you as the nursing mother nurtures her own children use very descriptive language

versus it. We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share

with you not only the Gospel of God, but also our own lives because

because you have become dear to us. Can you see how personal it is?

Now? Can I? Can I gonna bring you here? In generation

Church? There are two things that we want to use as our metrics of

whether something is successful or not. Okay, and it's not attendance. It's

not how many ministries you serve, No one of those things, not one

of those easy things to measure if you if it's attendance, you came or

you didn't come yourself or you don't self right, ours is these two things

number one quality of relationships and two quality of conversations. That's a metrics.

We look at these two things to see whether your small group is successful or

not. Now it's quite hard to measure, like, how do you know

whether there's quality relationship or not? How do you know whether it's quality conversation

or not? We are still figuring that out. But this is what we're

naim for. That's we're so far resisted from putting a number as our target.

With so far resisted from any kind of that kind of a structural,

kind of a numerical target, because I think once we put that up there,

our minds are kind of like directed that way, and we don't want

that. We want our mind to be directed towards quality of relationships and qualitic

conversations. Now, if you're asking pastor how to measure, how to know

good? If you're asking that question, it's good, That means it worked.

Your mind is now there, as opposed to, Hey, your gig

must grow to twenty by end of this month, then your mind is there.

Your mind is about how to add one more person to our group by

this week, and some will do it with very good intentions, some just

want to add a number. Right, But now I'm asking you to aim

for quality of relationships and quality of conversations. Now you may not have the

step one to three, four, five, sixty seven, but at least

your mind is in that direction. That's what we want in this charch we

hope to have. In other words, we can also call it depth of

relationship, depth of conversation. How deep is that relationship? How deep is

that conversation? Can this be our measure? Can our minds at least be

in that direction, even if you don't know what the ruler is? But

let's move in this direction. Amen. Now, three things I want to

say about how we were made for relationships and how are we to do this?

Three simple things. Number one, we need to concede our need for

others. That means stop thinking you can do this on your own. Maybe

you can, but you're not designed away. Yeah, just that I could

use a hammer to scook noodles. I could. It's got the whole right,

I mean, it's it's good enough. I can eat noodles, but

it's you can you can use the hammer to eat your part of me.

Yes, but if not designed for Pannie, and you will never be the

best tool for Pannie. It will never be as good as your chopsticks or

your fock. You can so you can do this on your own, but

you're not designed to be that way. It's much better if we all just

consider, just admit and say, yes, we need each other. Amen.

Just as a child needs a mother, we need each other, amen,

one way or another. In another letter, Paul identified this need to

belong to each other when he said in First Corintance twelve, So the eye

cannot say to the hand, I don't need you, nor again the head

to the feet, I don't need you. You can't say that. On

the contrary, all the more, those parts of the body that seem to

be weaker are necessary, your pinky finger, your appendix. Jesus. Paul

used this language Church the body. We need each other. Amen. Nobody

is a finger alone. You can't survive that way. This need for others

is rooted deep within our souls. It's part of us. God planet that

way, and that's why God said it is not good for men to be

alone. It's not good for men to be alone. He's not just husband

and wife and romantic relationships. It's just we need community. Amen. And

this need for others is God given and deeply rooted in our lives. This

guy, he's not a believer, he's not a Christian. But his name

is Abraham Maslow. You probably have heard of him. You probably have looked

seen this some of this mass law hierarchy of needs. Not even a Christian.

But study human beings and realize we have needs. We have needs.

We have physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, esteem, self

ualization. I just want to show you different ways of seeing it. You

can do, of course, you can google and finding yourself right. But

basically the idea is this. The idea is this, to reach to the

top, to be a function fully functioning, inspiring person. And you are

that person when you are up there, when you have actualized self actualized.

You know when you when you reach the top, you don't live for yourself.

You start asking questions like what can I do for others? What can

I do for others? And I want to inspire others to do their best.

Okay, you start living a giving life. Now. To reach that,

you have to first meet all the other needs and as you can see

in other words, if you don't feel safety, you don't feel belong If

you don't feel belong you don't feel important. If you don't feel important,

you can't reach the highest peak where you start becoming a giving person and not

just a taking person. So belonging relationships very important. Amen, So I

pray that we are okay with a meet. We need each other. It's

not a sign of weakness. It's acknowledging how God designed us. And since

we need each other, let's learn how to need each other properly, not

in a unhealthy way, in a taking way. We need each other.

It can be good, like how the eye needs the nose, and the

nose needs the ear, and the ear needs the mouth, and we all

need each other, were all functioning in a proper way. Yep. Good

number two. We need to learn how to cultivate deep relationships. Don't take

relationship lightly, okay, generations, church, we want quality relationships, We

want deep relationships. So we must learn how to cultivate this. Amen,

individually, in your homes, as a church, as a community, we

need to learn this or at all levels. Don't take relationship likely because to

survive in a cold and cruel world. To survive in this world that takes

and it's mean and destructive. We need deep, meaningful relationships. But that

kind of relationship don't just happen. It requires effort. That's why some people

say marriage is work, relationship is work. They are right, it's work,

but it's work that is worth Amen. We have to do more than

just reach out to others, and we have to share. We have to

not not just reach out and say, hey, how are you, but

we have to share. You want the relationship, you have to share your

life with others as well. And this truth was one of the secrets of

Paul's establishment of supporting relationship. This is why Paul, everywhere he went he

had meaningful relationships. Look look at first testoloninationship the two US eight. We

cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only

the gospel of God, but also our lives because you have become dear to

us. So here was a man. Every time he wrote to a church,

he would always call by name. Have you noticed the letters, Maybe

two, three or four people you called him my name and called him out

because they were close to him. And it was personal, it was deep.

He had developed significant relationships with all of these people. Now, in

these verse I found three words, almost rhyming words that formed the basis for

developing relationships which pass the test of time. Number one, care as a

nursing mother nurtures own children. Care. To develop deep relationships, we need

to have genuine care. Can we care for each other? Can we care

about how the other person is doing? Not just ask why didn't you come

to church or something like that. Now I'm not sure if you've been following

out a social media account and stuff like that, but we recently launched a

podcast video Yeah, where we had a guest not guests that he's part of

our church. It's part of our Tuesday church. So you don't see on

Saturday, is there? So? Liang Lang who's sign during Christmas? Yeah?

And during one of our generations on Tuesday, we got him to share

his story on why he gave up on church. This is a guy who

gave up on church and so we had to process that what did you mean

by giving up on church? And he of course qualified that during the interview,

he shared that I've gave up on the structure, the system, the

hierarchy. People have disappointed me. They have done things to hurt me,

used me, abuse me. So I'm done with that. But I'm still

a Christian. I still have faith in Jesus. And so when Generations on

Tuesday, which is church but different, we call it alternative church experience church

were different, he thought, Okay, I'll give this a chance, and

so he joined us on Tuesday. And on Tuesday it's not like this.

There's no stage, no band, no production, no projection god okay,

no preacher, no pull pit, but christ community conversation. These are three

things we focus on. And so he shared. He shared about how he

was disappointed by the system and all that. Then we put a video up.

I actually had to think long and hard about did I make a mistake?

Should we take the video down? Like genuinely, I'm like, oh

no, if it's affecting people now. Of course, Ling and I we

were on the phone last night or so he caught me and called him and

he told me, don't just look at the responses on social media. We've

got some comments, he said. Since the video went up, I have

not stopped receiving calls and messages, some even to the extenter of coming to

my restaurant, like actually called the Book and purpose stake late so that he

can talk to me. And what they're saying is thank you, Liang,

thank you generations church for having this conversation and self fixing this conversation. Some

of them are pastors, reverends themselves from churches. That's why they can't come

in publicly, and so they say thank you for having the conversation. Now.

The thing is, is what I'm trying to say is Liang himself told

me he has left the church. He's heard, he's been broken and he

needs healing and all that right, But he's encountered so many Christians that come

to him, and all they can ask him is, brother, come back,

laud to church Saturday. We've got You've grew up having this thing?

Lad, come la? Why so long? Never see you? Come La?

And he's like, I is that all you know? All you can

tell me? Have you ever stopped to ask how I'm doing? Why I

left the church? No one did, No one did? And this why

for so many years young just float around. This is what I mean by

I think we need to genuinely care for people. I think Jesus would do

that. I don't think Jesus went around saying, hey, you sinner,

come to come to synagogue. I think I think Jesus genuinely cared for people,

like, oh, you're hungry, let me feed you now. Yeah,

we can talk about your sin later. I'm paraphrasing, but you can

look at the pattern. Right, He's always he always, he always fed

clothes. Heue then, because the gospel is the good news. Yes,

friends, couldn't be that. Christians are just too excited about the news.

We forget the good If you don't believe in Jesus, you dye and go

to hell. That's the news. And it's true, you're not wrong,

but it's the good news. Tell you what. People don't care how much

you know until they know how much you care. Amen. You want to

cultivate deep relationships, genuinely care, like how are you doing? Like I,

as a pastor, I do want you to come to church, But

I'm very interested in why you're not here. Something must have happened. Are

you okay? What's going on? He says? Something I can do to

help? Oh? I can't help. This just can't help. Well,

there's a million and the jurches that can recommend you too. Let's find a

way and if you're not ready for church, let's meet up for coffee.

There are people that ad meet up for coffee for years now still haven't come

to church, but that coffee is such for them. Care Can we care

too? Is share? Pauls it care and he share Share. Miss you

are involved means a piece of you is given away, Paul say, we

will pleased to share with you, not just the gospel see, but our

own lives, not just the good news, but our lives, my time,

my resources, my energy. I know sometimes you have to think about

our OI return of investment. And as long as you're on this earth,

thinking this way is gonna be very hard to balance the sheet, very hard.

But you see, from God's perspective, because He's not bound by time

and how much money you have left. He's not bound by all that.

He sees from a different perspective, our oi. No, you you measure

by eternity. I don't know, I don't know. I hope one day

I say this twelve year old boy much bigger muscular somewhere Ella, and if

not on this earth, hopefully in heaven. One day you know what I'm

saying I don't know that. I'm just called to sow. The farmer sow

the seed. Did he look at the ground first, oh, tony grownd,

No, he just saw the seat man. Some fell on thorny ground,

some fell on rocky ground, some fell on hot ground, or you

just so anyway? Amen? So you share for us to share with others

in deep relationship necessity necessities that we get up close and personal with another person.

One cannot share at a distance. You guys can't do that. Care

share and dear pause it. You have become dear to us. Paul genuinely

loved these people. When we love others, we do not treat them as

a means to an end. You're not just a number on our database in

roster. You are not. I don't know which church you've been to,

or how you've been heard, or which baster messed you up. I'm not

like that, and I dare say our leaders and all of that. I

think we've been through enough hurt ourselves to go. Let's not do it to

others. Maybe you don't know me, Maybe you just came to thesearch.

Maybe you think I'm like my previous few other churches have been far off.

Maybe you feel your assumptions, your perceptions, your insecute. Whatever. If

that's the case, let's get to know each other. Let's do that.

We we We must be determined to do this right, do this well.

The world is hurt enough, and yes, churches have made mistakes. Churches

are not perfect. Neither are we not a a WII. But I say

this out out so that we can all hold each other accountable. Man not

use it as a as a threat. Hey, you say care, how

come we never care for mere? Don't do that. Now you do that,

you are technically manipuliting care. Share and hold each other dear, see

each other as people of value, not a commodity, not a number,

not statistics. Not Oh come join now, just yay, I get a

new drummer. Oh I get a new basis. Oh I get a new

We don't see that way. Love is something you do, not just something

you say so we can. I can say whatever I want here on stage,

but that's not love. Love is something you do. Hold me accountable

through my actions, and I'll hold you accountable to your actions too. Thirdly,

commit to authenticity. Let's be real. It's not enough to admit with

each other or say, oh, a few friends will be nice. We

must commit ourselves to getting beneath the surface. That's why our gigis want to

focus on conversations, deep conversations authenticity. Authenticity occurs when the mask comes off,

conversations gets deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, Accountability is

invited and tenderness flows. Accountability is invited, not FoST upon, not enforced.

I say, please give me accountable because I can't do this on my

own. Please watch out for me, and we do the same for each

other. Amen. Authenticity occurs when the mask comes off, conversations gets deep,

hearts gets vulnerable, lives are shared, Accountability is invited, and tenderness

flows. Amen. Believers in the Body of Christ actually becomes brothers and sisters.

Assimilation is becoming absorbed in the lives of others as an active participant,

relating to sharing with and caring for others. Pause it. We imparted our

lives, not just knowledge. Imparted our lives. Reuben Gonnets say this,

We can't simply cheer people on and give them our best fatures. We have

to make room for them in our lives. When we make room for others

in our lives. The wars of indifference and empathy come down. When we

make room for others, we discover the best of others and the best in

ourselves. Let's put each other on. Thank you for joining us. We

trust you have been blessed by the word of God. If you like what

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