Relationships Series 2024 - Part 2: Youth Session | Andy Yeoh, Kanesh Varmaa, Wee Kye & Yap Ken-ji

Hey there, you're listening to the Generation's Church podcast. We pray that the

word of God today will challenge, change and channel you into your God given

destiny. Now, let's get started. To start off, I want to

say that we believe in relationships. We are four not against relationships. Okay.

Sometimes people think Christians or Christian leaders or churches are against relationship because we're

always telling you don't date, don't date, don't date, don't date.

Now that's not necessarily true all of the time. All right, we are

four relationships because God made relationships. It's his idea. He made it.

And if he made it, it must be a beautiful thing, right,

because God makes only beautiful things, as you can see. Yes, okay,

so God makes beautiful things, relationship beautiful. So we don't want to

mess up this beautiful thing that God made. Simple as that. If God

made something as beautiful as relationships to be enjoyed, to be a blessing,

we don't want to corrupt it and mess it up and then it becomes something

ugly and something we have to like struggle with understand, So, how do

we keep this beautiful thing beautiful? And how do we know we are ready?

Because none of you say okay, maybe next year, Okay, fine,

how do you get yourself ready for that one day to come and get

that I don't know that guy or that girl and then move on to marriage.

So that's what we're gonna talk about in a nutshell. Cool. Great,

So I'm gonna hand the time over to our first speaker, which is

can you help? And he's gonna bring us through the first point today.

We have five points right okay? Before I handed him, we're five points.

You may have heard of the five seas before. Have you heard of

the five seas before? Or is that like my generation like for now that

people will say to have a successfulationship, you must have five seas, cash,

condo, car, credit card, club membership or something like that.

Oh, if you have all these five things, you're ready for relationship with

these nonsense, because now I've got cryptocurrency. Okay, so supposed to be

six. No, just kidding. We have a different five seas to present

to you. We also say you are ready for relationship when you have these

five seas in place, but it's not cash, credit card, condo,

CA or c membership or cryptocurrency or creep. No, So we will present

a different five seas to you to present the first five. First of the

five seas, let's put all hands together for qgo thanks fast all right before

we begin. So this five seaes supposed to take. What is these are

basically indicators of a healthy relationship. Everybody says center, that's the first see

everybody says center, a center, So what does it mean to what does

he mean to have for God center relationship? Is God really the center of

relationship? So the definition of that is that is God your focal point.

It's got your focal point in your relationship. So I know everybody here say,

oh, most bodily you get together with a Christian, that's most important.

But even if you get together with a Christian, sometimes in a relationship

you can get unhealthy because your focus is no longer on God, biys on

other things, whether it's on each other, whetherason how much you are getting

from each other. So this is the worst that we're going to reference for

this point. It says in Embessions, chapter four, verse two, the

six this is my wedding scripture, AH praise God, sharing your ah oh

verse two. Always be humble and gentle, be patient with each other,

making allowance for each other's fault because of your love for make every effort to

keep yourself united in the spirit, binding yourselves together with peace full. For

there is one body and one spirit, just as you have been called to

one glorious hope for the future full Verse five. There is one Lord,

one faith, one baptism, one God, and five of all, who

is over all and in all, and living true all Amen. So this

is actually the us means God is actually the center of all. And because

God is the center of all, we always have to exhibit that. Let's

go to the next one. So these are basically just three thoughts. Number

one final say, does God have the final say in your relationship? Something

for you to think about, which means both of you are guided by the

word of God. I know there is actually this thing about like, oh,

if both are consented, you consent to certain things for both sides,

and then it's fine. Like for example, the guys like, oh,

hey guy, hey girl, can you touch me all over? And then

the girl's like, oh, sure, I'll touch you all over. That's

consented. But then that's against the word of God because the Word of God

says that's sexual immorality. Does God have the final say in your relationship?

That's the thought for you. Second one and courage, do you guys both

remind each other of the word of God? So like instead of like,

hey, you know, do you check out the latest movie? You know

you check out the littlest yet whether that means, hey, you know,

let's work work on our wrist, you know, our mewing. Do you

guys actually talk about the word because I feel that that's actually quite rare these

days when you actually come together as a couple, do you actually communic kid

like, hey, you know, I read this scripture. This is what

I learned. This is cool, this is how I great. This is

my testimony. Do you have that? Second off for you? Final thought

for whether your relationship is God centered is how you behave? Do you actually

live out the word of God? For example, like, yes you are

in a relationship, Yes you love each other, but the Bible also says

that you should love for neighbors as a self. So both of you as

a couple, you actually go and love other people? Are you just by

yourself? So you walk by the streets, both of you like holding hand

ladi da, I'm happy happy, you know, kissing, kissing, you're

making out there and then there's someone there who fell on the floor and they

go like, oh no, never mind, okay, can you making out?

No. Bible says love your neighbor as your self. Help people,

be there for other people. So you as a couple, are you really

being a blessing to people around you? So Tree thoughts, Tree thoughts.

Some people, I know you get together. People hate your guts because you're

really annoying. So some time for you to hear think about yourself. According

to the world of God, you love your neighbor as your self and other

things as well. Do you actually leave it out? So I know I

have a really shot of time. But just to share a quick story for

me, the first one actually hits the most different, I mean hits the

hardest for me because at one point I was in a reladiingship. We both

consent to it, it's great, yay, And then finally God told me

I really loved a lot it was my ex. And then God told me,

you know this is not the girl for you. I go like,

what, how how you asked me? I honestly cannot ready explain it.

But it's like a loud voice in my ear and say this is not the

girl for you. And I was already in a relaionship. What after that

I broke up with here? It's really painful, and then I find many

reasons to justify that. Why that is for many years never understood. But

until the day I got married, until the day I found Funny, I

finally realized why God said no for my life. Right now, it's quite

impossible to have any other people in my life except for Funny, because if

you want to know about it, I can talk to you about it later.

It's a hard life for me and for me only Funny could actually walk

this life with me and not anyone else. So if I were to was

in the old relationship and got together, I think life will be already tough.

So that's one of my learnings. God has to final say trust God,

because at the end of it, you'll always be good. When cool,

move on to who's the next person our pastor all right? Cool?

Now, all of the seas have to work together. Okay, it's not

in isolation. If you have one sea and not the other four we have

two seasons on the other three, it doesn't quite work. And remember again

I repeat, we're trying to help you answer this question basically because I think

one of the most popular questions in any relationship talk, especially with young people,

is how do I know when I'm ready? How do we know we

are ready for this relationship? And to take this to the next step.

Okay, Now, if you it depends on who you ask, right,

it depends on who you ask, you get different answers. Okay, we

are providing these answers based on the world of God. Why do we go

to the Bible, such an all thousands of years old book. How can

that speak to our modern day relationship? You will be surprised because our God

is a timeless god. When he wrote this back then, he was already

in twenty twenty four at the same time. You get what I mean.

So, as far as God is concerned, it's not a few thousand year

old book. As far as concerned, Hey, I am eternal, and

what I say applies then and applies now. Okay, So these are principles.

What Kenji was trying to say is one of the ways you know,

Yeah, this is not playplay anymore. This is not popular. This is

not just trying out and see what happens. I know I'm ready when we're

able to put God in the very center of our life. That means all

your decisions, all your considerations, everything goes through this center called God.

Yeah, you don't just think about what I want and what's best for her,

only you think about what does God want? Would he want me to

touch her? There? Like? If God was sitting right here and God's

watching you, is he comfortable with you touching? Like? There? You

know what I'm saying. Right? Do you have that? You don't have

that? Don't touch it? You don't have it? All right? Okay,

in this day andish, you cannot touch what you have. It doesn't

belong to you. Okay, everything is like God is at the center.

You refer to God all of the time. That's what you just trying to

say. Okay, we can process that. If you don't know what it

means, we can talk about that later. I am now bringing you the

second See it's called clarity. Clarity of vision. Vision may not be something

that generally younger people talk about. You'll hear older ones or like company owners

or church people or people who talk about vision. Right now, I think

it's important that young people like you think about vision. What's vision? Vision

is what you can see, but it's in the future. It hasn't happened

yet. Okay, what you can see this is right now. It is

called sight. I can see a blue chair. That's site, that's not

just vision. Vision is wow. I wonder what I can do with this

blue chair. I can make it into a robo or a vision. You're

clear now, you know you are ready for a relationship, not just when

God is in the center of everything. You know you already when you have

clarity of vision. That means that both of you, guy and girl have

a vision for your life. There is an imagination about the future. But

it's not just wild imagination. It's an imagination that you know is possible.

Clear. A lot of people get together and I don't think you talk about

the vision. Just talk about I feel right now? Do you feel for

me? Yeah? Let me get yeah right like what we just we just

like right now. But we want to encourage and challenge you. Can you

think about the future and can it be clear? God says GNA, I

know the plans I have for you. God knows the plans he has for

you, and the plans is for good. And that plan is not for

disaster, to give you future and a hope. This scripture is powerful.

This is God. God has a vision for us, and that vision is

for good, not to destroy, not for disaster. It's future and a

hope. Now, if God can have a vision for our lives, I

think that's how he wants us to relate to other people to We have to

have a vision for our relationships. And that vision cannot be a disaster.

You cannot plan to destroy yourself. So for example, if you don't plan

to not have sex before marriage, that's not a good plan. There's a

disaster plan because you know you're not ready. If the girl gets pregnant,

you don't know what to do. Gotta be am I too real? Okay,

right, you're all old enough, right, So it's gotta have a

You gotta have a vision. From the scripture, we learned three things.

God is a god of vision. Yes, yes, plans, these good

plans. God's vision is clear, very clear. It's for good, not

for disaster. God's vision is a good vision because it's for good, not

for disaster. So we must also be like God. Aren't we all here

as Christians trying to be like Jesus. Yes, therefore we must also be

a people of vision. Our vision must be clear, and the vision must

be good for relationship. Yeah, I want to show you a bunch of

scriptures about how God says we all must have a vision for our lives and

definitely for our relationships. Yes, okay, the Lord answered me, write

the vision. Make it plain so when you run, even when you're running,

it's so clear. Sometimes when you're running it have to see you,

right, But God is saying, make your vision so clear the even while

you're running you can see. That's how clear. Our vision for relationship and

weddings and marriage should be good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but

hasty shortcuts leads to poverty. Now you know why some of us do so

badly in relationships. We always end up with the same wrong guys. We

always fight over these things and it's always you know why now, because we

did spend enough time to have good planning and we work towards and hard work.

Hello, exact clear, relationship is not just feelings, it's hard work,

it's good planning. The opposite leads to poverty. You will be a

bankrupt in relationship. You will be so bankrupt in your emotions, So break

up in your mind you feel like you're empty. We don't want that,

right because we have four relationships. We want you to have healthy, beautiful

ones. Okay, So these are some questions you can ask yourself. All

right, So this is why I call it a clarity check? Do I

have a clear vision? Ask yourself these questions and try to answer them when

you're on your toilet bowl and pooping. You can. You can do this

all, you know, or just before you tell the guy you like him,

think about these things. Do you have a personal vision, aspiration or

dream? Where do you want to live? What's your dream country? Stuff

like that Koreer soul or like you know Lelan, you know, what's your

dream? Where you want to work? One day? Like you want to

work? Like shift's kind of job? You know, always wake up at

night, sleep in the morning or what? All these things are important because

the person you're gonna be with have to live with you, and if they

don't like what your dream is, it's very hard to live together. Yes,

So do you have a personal vision especial dream? What is your visual

of a successful marriage? What does a successful marriage look like? To you,

you gotta have a visual of a sexiful marriage. I'm married now seventeen

years and only last week or two weeks ago, my way asked me what

do you need in your marriage? And I really couldn't answer it, and

that is the source of some problems our relationship. So I want to give

you wisdom so that you can prepare yourself for that is the cool. How

do you see the ball? You're serving the law together? How do you

in vision raising your children? How do you like to raise your children?

I know you're like past I'm thirteen years old. I challenge you think about

this. It will make you more prepared for relationship. All right. Vision

is important because without it, one is directionless and will not know where one

is hated to in life. You don't know where to go, you don't

know where you're hating. You need vision and you work towards your vision.

Okay, cool? How do you get there if you don't know where there

is? Makes sense? You need to know you're there. When one likes

vision or in time loser side of that vision, it can affect the growth

and development of the relationship as well as the future. When you don't have

vision, you actually don't know what you're building on. Okay, so you

might be You both might be in a relationship building different things, and that's

why it doesn't work out. Two people who share a vision for the present

and their future will have a more satisfying journey together as they discover God's plan

together. Imagine building the same jigsaw puzzle together. It's more satisfying rather than

like, actually, you're trying to fix the juice puzzle, but you're fixing

two different ones. You get very frustrated. We can make our plans,

but the lot determines our steps. That's why it's so important to have God

in the center, because you can make your plans where you still if they

go back to God and say, hey, God, is his plan good?

And God says no. God says no to Kenji. Now he has

a better one called fani hah. All right. Finally, next point is

commitment. Now you know you're ready for the relationship, when you're able to

have this big c call commitment, you're not. It needs just for the

fun, you know, it needs just for the time being. You know,

he need just to test test test water. You know, it needs

just to mess around, you know, and once something. When when dude

gets serious, you do it the way. It's not a sorry. You're

committed because love is discipline. The Bible says, commit your actions to the

Lord, and your plans will succeed. You know how your relationship will succeed

your actions. You are committed to certain actions to God. You're committed to

things that will grow the relationship when you're ready for this, you're ready for

relationship. How do you get there if you don't know, if you don't

keep hating there just now, it's how do you get there? You don't

know where there is? Commitment is how do you get there? If you

don't keep getting there, If you don't work through soul vision and don't change

your mind every once in a while, change guys, change girls, change

user names once in a while, How do you get there if you don't

have commitment? Right? So, the Bible says, whatever you do,

work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord. That means,

even when you're doing relationships, treat it as unto the Lord, not

just for you. You are doing this for God. That may change your

attitude to a relationship. So, whether you eat or drink something as simple

as that do it. Listen to the Lord. Want more something serious relationship.

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. Commitment, It

is good, keep at it means. For example, I committed to Jay

when we were caughting not marry yet, that I will not kiss her on

the lips until our wedding day. That time, when we made that promise,

it was going to be two years. I taught myself two years a

canta han. Suddenly it became three years. But the year I really was

each year I really really wanted to kiss on the lip until that time,

I only kiss on the chicks knee, and I really cannot the honey day.

So I moved to the year trying to get there. But she remindered

me, and I reminded ourselves we have a commitment, So we stopped ourselves,

and so only on the wedding day, fifteenth September two thousand and seven,

I kissed Jay on the lips for the very first time in my life.

Three years later. That's a commitment. Those are kind of things you

and I'm not saying you have to also do the exact same thing. I'm

just saying you have to have commitments. And work towards it and keep at

it. All right, Cool, Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments

you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or destroy you. Either

way, they will define you. If you commit to vaping every day,

it will destroy you. If you commit to exercising every day, it will

develop you. Simple as that. Either way, it will define you.

Tell me what you are committed to, and I will tell you what you

will be in twenty years. So many your commitments right now, I'll tell

you where you'll be in next year. Very simple, because you you will

become whatever you are committed to. Yes, if you eat rice every day

and do exercise, you become what rise bore right, chicken rice? Yeah?

Simple? So in relationship, same thing. Whatever you're committed to,

you become you commit to good, beautiful, pure relationship. You get that

at the end. All right, I know I take an extra time.

I'm not going to pass the time to carnage. Who will share the next

sea? Yo? Well, thank you for sent cool. Okay. The

fourth c we're gonna talk about is conversation. Okay, now, just to

give you context, the topic that we're talking today is how to build a

healthy relationship. Okay, how to build a healthy or rather, what is

a healthy relationship? So we talk about a healthy relationship having Christ in the

center. A healthy relationship. Number two, it's having clarity of vision pass

and they covered that. Having good commitments Okay, having good conversations. Now,

let me give you some statistics. Teristics from the US. Okay,

lack of communication leading cause of divorce. Do you want to know how many

percent gets divorced due to communication in the US, It's say sixty five percent

there, miss, every couple that got divorced, five percent of that problem

is because of communication. Okay, that's my half. Next one, let's

look at Malaysia as I studies communication failure. Now main cause of marriage break

downs in Malaysia? Okay, how many percent is twenty five percent in Malaysia?

Okay? Out of out of four couple, I guess divorce one couple

is because of bad communication. Okay, Next life, what type of conversations

do you have with your partner? That is very important? What type of

conversations do you have with your partner? Or if I can change these questions,

what leads your conversation with your partner? Okay, let me ask you

some questions that you can reflect on. Okay, you don't need to answer,

but just reflect reflect. Okay. Is your conversation flirtaitious with your partner?

Lah? Okay, it's a conversation flatitious, baby baby, yeah,

sexy? If yes? If that is your type of conversation everytime you text,

every time you text? You know? Okay? If yes, what

is the goal of that kind of conversation? What are you trying to get

out of it? Okay? There's a conversations only reverse around front jokes and

memes. I do that too, I always you know, score through instat

reels. Oh, it is really funny. It's really funny, like China

China and I forget Wow, you know, show my my wife then you

laugh together. Okay, cool, good conversations. But is that all to

it? Okay? Some things to think about. There's a conversation includes gossips,

or rather, there's a conversation includes people and putting people down a lot

of people and building people up. Do you have that kind of conversation?

You know what? That guy are w the shirt here? Whah double with

four holes? Wah? Right? Are those the kind of conversations you have?

Let me see what else I have here? There's a conversation only has

How are you? I'm fine? Have turned What are you doing right now?

There's no reply for ten minutes, I miss you, no reply for

another half an hour? Anything wrong? What is it? And then again

I'm fine? Is that the conversations you're having? So what I want to

talk about in regards to conversation is what is leading your conversations? Not that

everything I mentioned earlier is wrong, not that everything I mentioned earlier is wrong.

But maybe a question to reflect on is that is that all it is

to having good conversations in a healthy relationship? Okay, back to the five

sea that you're trying to connect everything to. Let me ask you more questions

that you can reflect on. Do you talk about Christ bring in the center

of your relationship? Can you talk about having God as a final say?

Do you talk about that, Hey, this I don't know. PlayStation is

really nice to purchase, man, you know, if I buy it,

I get to be happy and all that. Do you have that kind of

conversation? What do God think about that? Do you have conversations revolving around

compleitment? Hey, I'm not going to kiss you until the day of my

marriae. Do you have that kind of conversation? Do you commit to it?

Because why all these conversations are also a form of accountability. Right,

do you talk about how you're spending your money? Or maybe are you are

the age of talking about that? Because why it promotes accountability in your relationship.

Do you talk about things like that? Okay? Things that build your

relationship. So use conversations to build relationship. In Problems eighteen twenty one,

it says the tongue tongue, meaning our tongue. Whatever we say right when

we talk, when we speak, the tongue has the power of life and

death. This mouth right can bring life, can also bring death. The

time is the power of life and death. And those who love it well,

it is full. If you like to proclaim life, eat the fruit

of life. If you like to gossip, tear people down in your relationship,

it's all about being negative, okay, you also eat its food.

Okay. So use conversations to build relationship, build godly principles. Christ bring

the center, build vision, the vision that you've talked about. Talk,

continue talking, continue talking. It's not a one time you know, our

vision is a good marriage it's not a one time conversation, okay. Continue

to build on it, all right, Build commitments that will help the both

of you grow. What kind of commitments that you have? Are you talking

about it? Don't just write it into a list and then leave it at

the site. It's a word away. When me and my wife Klein,

when we were dating before we get marriaged, we got into this whole program

called before marriage counseling or something like that. Okay, it's called pre marriage

counseling, okay, And we had to write down things that we're committing to

each other, and we meet every once for two weeks to talk about it,

really talk about it, like if I marry with you are, how

am I going to treat my mother in law until that level? Okay?

And then am I going to keep my word to it? Okay? And

then today, now that we're married and I actually have a marry in law,

we continue to talk about it. So conversations, because if you don't

talk about things like that, the divorce rate is highlight because everything you talk

about is oh, baby, baby, you look so good today. All

right, Okay, So don't be committed because you want to hold hands Don't

be committed because you want to touch someone. Don't just do that, Okay,

be committed because you want to protect them and protect them from what God

has in stall for you and for that person and for your relationship. Passing

on to wiki on the fifth se Okay, so this is the last series.

It's I have a question first before the sea, So what are some

characteristic evidences of real love? Class? So if if I can rephrase that

question, what is true love? And how do you identify true love?

Okay, so we can move to the fifth point. It's called charity.

Charity is is actually an English translation of the Greek word agape. So later

on we canna read First Corinthians chapter thirteen. Actually, when Apostle Paul,

Apostle Paul wrote First Corinthians, the thin the love that human was charity.

So what is charity? Charity is actually a selfless, sacrificial love that stiks

the well being and happiness of others above oneself. So if a further explanation,

I think, if you read, if I go to the dictionary by

Brittannica, charity actually means it's the highest form of love, love which is

like a reciprocal love between us and God, and because of that love,

we can be able to love our neighbors unconditionally. So that's the meaning of

charity. Okay, we can we can start reading First Corinthians chapter thirteen,

very popular, worst and probably because it's really evergreen. It's timeless, and

so we're just going to go through it. Love is patient, love is

kind, So patient and kind. Ah. The great thing is, you

know, the food of the Holy Spirit. Love is part of it,

patient is part of it. Kind is also part of it. So quite

thankful that actually the Holy Spirit enables us to be able to love that way.

Actually, love is patient, Love is kind and patient. Another word

that people use for patient, I mean in the scripture itself, you go

different versions. It's also called long suffering. So that's actually amazing thing about

charity agape because the word that love, that the biblical love, is actually

able to suffer for the love true the sufferings. So patient love patient is

long suffering, and it's really amazing because it encompasses like commitment and or as

well. Right then it goes to It does not envy, it does not

bows, it is not proud, So love it is. So the first

part is like what is love? Right patient kind? The second part and

the worst five and the worst six. Actually this tree talks about that's not

what love is not. So the first part is what love is, and

the following part is what love is not. So it's not envy, because

do you you find that you're envy your partner sometimes if it you know,

if he's getting a promotion that you have, or he is, you know,

excelling more than you do, you sense that there is some kind of

envy. So that is not love, and we should strive not to have

that luck. And it does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking,

it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. So

it keeps no record of wrongs. If I can elaborate that is that sometimes

love can start all right, but eventually deterior like because there are things that

you hide under the cupboard, or there are things that build started to build

up that you hide, or it's not well communicated, or it is just

not there's no solution to It wasn't soft, but it continued to carry over.

So it's it's essentially no record or wrongs. It's so it loves easily

for giftsler, right, And after that you said love is that's not delight

in evil, but rejoices with the truth. So even when we talk about

like not touching each other, I mean it's it's it's this detestable to God.

Los sin is detestable to God. And so love shouldn't delight in evil.

And even when we talk about communication, like do you gossip about other

friends in your conversation? So that is love does not delight in evil.

So the things that if do you do you come together to talk about crimes,

or if you come together talk about revenge towards another, I think that

is it shows signs of unhealthiness. And the last one, verse seven,

it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So this

this is really the secret of a long lasting, committed lovelaw Okay, So

after reading First Corinthians, chapter thirteen, the last question that actually I have

with which element do you find easiest and hardest to apply? So there are

some fun activities if you go back to the worst I've seen, like fun

Christian activities like among harpers as well, like because actually this right, if

you replace love with the word Jesus. Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind,

Jesus is not envy. And so can you replace your name there like

Wiki is patient, Wiki is kind. It's quite difficult, right, So

if you put your name there, what is something that you really struggle with

and what is something that you know your strength is. I think there's a

good activity you can do yourself, even now, even before you enter into

a relationship. It's important to note that first contents, the thing is not

just for romantic relationships, lah, it also is for your family, for

your friends. So Paul write this letter, if for context sake, is

for the Church of Corinth korin Is in Greece. So that time the church

had a lot of conflicts, and it's actually addressed to solving conflicts in the

church, unity in the church, and asking the disciples to practice love among

each other. So this is quite universal in that sense. Thank you for

listening to the Generation's Church podcast. We hope you have been blessed by the

Word of God today. Remember to stay tuned by subscribing to this podcast for

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