Family Reunion Week 4 • Ephesians 4:25-32

Hi, and welcome to the Willow Ridge Church weekly podcast.

This is where you can find audio for our current and past sermons.

We hope that you enjoy this week's installment, and be sure to check back next week to hear

the latest message.

Thanks for listening.

So we'll start reading here just a moment in verse 25, and what we're looking at in these

verses of Paul as we've talked about family reunion, as we've looked at unity of the body

of Christ.

This is going to kind of be the last words from a godly parent, if we can look at it this

way, from a godly parent to his godly children.

And so Paul planted the church at Ephesus, and so you see this loving care from this spiritual

father to his children as he's been building all of these.

And then as we looked at last week, now that you are in Christ, Paul's going to give us

a powerful word at the very beginning of verse 25, therefore.

So let's kind of pause there for just a second.

Because this is who you are in Christ, because this is what Christ has saved you for, therefore

let these be some of these markings.

What we had seen last week was that we were to walk in the newness of life with who we are

in Christ.

This is to be.

And so Paul gives us some markers.

Now, I want to say this.

We're going to look at five things that we're to avoid.

We're going to look at some negatives and then turn them to a positive of what we should

see in our life.

And this is by no means an all-encompassing list that we check these boxes we've done.

We move on from that.

But my hope for us this morning is it's an evaluation.

It's us asking the Holy Spirit to open up and to reveal who we are, to kind of see where

these things align in our life and to see where we're moving forward.

And so as Paul's wrapping up this letter, as he's moving to the end of his argument, these

are what we're going to see of these markings that are there.

And so let's restart in verse 25 of chapter 4 of Ephesians.

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor.

For we are members of one another.

Be angry and do not sin.

Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.

Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own

hands so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as it is good for building up as

fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with

malice.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

So like I said, we're going to look at five behaviors.

We're going to list the negatives.

And then at the end of this, we're going to see what the positives.

So this is what we're not to be, what we're not to do.

And instead, this is who we are to be.

This is what we are to do.

And so the first one that Paul gives us is lying.

Lying.

Ephesians 4.25, therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth

with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

So let's take a moment, right?

And let's define lying for a second.

Like, well, I know what lying is.

Well, I know what lying is too.

But sometimes it's a good reminder for me in my life to make sure that my standard is God's

standard.

That my standard is what I need to remove and what I need to put in place is God's standard

for my life.

Because I'm going to be honest with you, and if you're like me, and you probably are, like

what I like to do sinfully in my life is remove God's standard and insert mine.

Because I can crush my standard.

I can crush it.

But I'm not God.

And I'm not the standard he is.

And so let's take a minute and just define this.

And so to lie is to give a statement or to give an intent of purpose that is given with

fact, and this is important, with intent to sinfully deceive.

Elevating yourself over others.

And so Paul says that within the congregation, within the body, there's no place in this.

There's no place in that this is who we are.

And there may be no greater display of the power of the effect of your testimony in a lost

world where God sends you, where you live, where you work, and where you play, than the

words that we choose to come out of our mouths and the intent in which they hold.

What are you known for?

Are you known to be a liar?

Are you known to be a manipulator?

Are you known to be one who bends the truth for your own selfish gain?

And what we see is that this can alienate us from the will of God for our life.

And here's what you and I have to understand when it comes to truth in line.

Always, always, always God is a God of what?

God is a God of truth.

And always what?

Satan aligns himself with lies.

So when we embrace lies, what are we embracing?

When we embrace lies, what are we portraying?

What are we displaying to the world?

We're aligning ourselves with Satan.

That what marks him is now what marks us.

But Paul's just told us, therefore, because of who we are in who?

In him.

A reflection of his character.

A reflection of who he is to put these things away.

I want you to go all the way back to the garden, right?

Go all the way back to where sin entered the world.

What did God do with Adam and Eve?

He gave them truth.

God says to them, don't eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge.

And it wasn't just like what we do sometimes, right?

As parents, we're like, don't do that.

Why?

Because I said so.

God says, don't do that.

And let me give you the reason.

If you do that, you will surely die.

And then Satan steps in.

And then Satan, the one who looks to bend and to manipulate.

Satan, the father and the orchestrator of lies, comes in and says, did he really mean that?

Did he really mean that?

You won't die.

And then in taking the partial truth and bending it to fit the narrative, right?

Satan goes, no, no, no.

What will happen is your eyes will be opened.

Your eyes will be opened.

And here's the thing.

In the lie, he was right.

And in the partial truth of what he gave, he sought to deceive.

Adam and Eve, their eyes were opened and sin and death entered into the world.

And this is what we see from the very beginning.

Satan, the father of lies and God is truth.

And so Paul comes and says, therefore, having put away falsehood, this is not who you are anymore.

This is not what you are about.

Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, what we stand on, what we resonate with.

We talked about this several weeks ago, that when it comes to the truth that you and I can cling to, it's not based through our opinions.

It's not based through our perspectives.

It's not based through our narrative.

But it's based through the perspective and the narrative of God, of who he is and in his righteousness.

So what I have, I've got a bunch of opinions, right?

I've got a bunch of them.

But this is truth.

And who he is.

And who he's called us to be.

And so he tells us, here's what we do amongst each other.

Here's what we do out with our neighbors.

Here's what we do within the body and outside of the body.

Right?

We had looked at it earlier.

We speak truth and love.

Speak truth and love.

As I was going through this week, I thought a lot about what does that look like in my life?

How can I take this and apply?

What does it mean to be a person of truth?

What does it mean that what I'm going to speak comes from who I am?

And I came with these reminders of what God's given me.

These reminders that have helped me this week.

That number one, that what I seek is not to be right.

But what I seek is truth.

That what I seek is truth.

That that's the hope that I have of every moment of every day.

To seek the truth of God.

And then this is going to be key.

When I find truth.

When I see truth.

When I read truth.

Then I need to surrender to truth.

You know, sometimes that's what we don't want to do.

Well, I know what I need to do.

But I want to do what I want to do.

Right?

I know what is right.

I know what is true.

But oftentimes I want to pursue other things.

And so not only do I need to seek the truth.

But I need to surrender to the truth.

And then it doesn't end there.

As we speak truth and love.

We proclaim the truth.

We proclaim the truth.

You and I are called to be the messengers of God.

And that the truth is proclaimed.

The second one that we see in this narrative is Paul deals with anger.

Anger.

Chapter, verse 26.

Be angry and do not sin.

Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.

Now, here's what I think is really interesting.

Right?

Let's look at these first six words.

Right?

Be angry.

And do not sin.

Right?

Well, if we're trying to eliminate anger.

But right here it says be angry.

So let's talk about this for a minute.

There is cause in our world for being angry.

And there is angry that is righteous.

God exhibits and God is oftentimes what is called holy anger.

In the Old Testament you'll oftentimes see the phrase and the anger of the Lord.

Did God sin?

No, God did not sin.

God in his anger continued to be righteous, holy, perfect because it's who he is.

When we see in the New Testament in Jesus, Matthew chapter 21, when Jesus cleanses, when Jesus clears the temple, where that is coming from within him is a sense of righteous anger, holy anger because the sin of what's offended to God.

Matthew 21 · chapter mention

And that's what is motivating him in his actions.

But you and I have to understand the difference between righteous anger and sinful anger.

To say that you and I should never be angry about anything is not biblical.

There are things in this world, things that we experience, things that we walk through, where our right response before the Lord is anger.

But what we do with that matters greatly.

What that does in our hearts matters dearly of what it means to be angry.

I read this this week and I wanted to share this with you and it rings true so much in my life.

Anyone can become angry.

But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way is not easy.

So what does this look like biblically?

What does this look like for your life and mine?

What does this look like when anger begins to well up inside of us?

What do we do in that with righteous anger?

And Psalm 97 10 tells us that we love the Lord and we hate evil.

We love the Lord and we hate evil.

So here's the question I want to ask you.

When we become angry, when I become angry, when you become angry, what becomes our target?

Where do we put our crosshairs?

What are we aiming at in that moment?

The Bible's clear.

What do we hate?

We hate evil.

And so what we see in our life is therefore evil and sin is the target.

What was the biggest criticism of Jesus amongst the Pharisees?

What was it?

He ate.

He hung out.

He fellowshiped with sinners.

He knew what they did.

He knew what they caused.

He knew what their tomorrow was going to be like.

He knew of the deceit that filled them.

But what did he do?

He loved them.

And he loved them.

And he loved them.

And I love this.

Because what Jesus does, what the Bible says to us, is love people and hate sin.

And hate sin.

Jesus in his own words.

And I want to be honest with you.

I think right now in a world that more so than any other world or time that I've ever known

is a pick-a-side culture.

And this side is right and this side is wrong.

Whatever side you find yourself on.

And Jesus' words in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

And then in that, watch the righteous anger that you have of sin be dealt with in the sovereignty and the power of God.

The third thing that he mentions Paul does here is stealing.

The third thing that he mentions Paul does here is stealing.

Verse 28.

Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

So stealing is taking of what is not yours.

Not only physical, but when we think of credit, when we think of glory, when we think of the story, when we think of all of this.

And what we find within here is that when we steal, what we're missing from is what is void of our life is the generosity of the character and the nature of God.

I want you to look back all the way back to, let's jump back to Genesis again.

What does God do?

God creates and then God gives.

And what is beautiful about the Lord is that when God gives, God gives generously.

Generously.

Everything in this world, you know this and I know this, who does it belong to?

It belongs to the Lord.

Everything that is yours is his.

Everything that is mine is his.

And so God gives to you, God gives to me, and then he calls us to be stewards of that.

To use what he has given us for his name and for his glory.

This is the very nature of God.

God is overly generous to you and to me with everything of who he is and what he gives and what he blesses with.

God is generous and he is generous and he is generous.

Like even in his very nature, God doesn't say, well, I'm going to give you what you can have and I'm going to keep for me what is mine.

God says, no, no, no, that's not in my generosity.

That's not in who I am.

So in generosity, I'm going to overflow onto you and then I'm going to call you for your good and for your benefit and for my glory to be a steward of that, to use it all for my name and for my glory.

And that's why God doesn't come into your paycheck and say, before you get it, this is mine, right?

The government does that.

God doesn't do that, right?

God doesn't do that.

What does God do?

I'm going to give it.

I'm going to give it and then you give back.

And then you give back.

And that's that way with everything in your life.

Your home is the mark of the generosity of God.

The gifts and the talents that you have is the mark of the generosity of God.

That everything that you have been blessed with is the mark of the generosity of God.

And then God says, and then with all of it, be a steward and return to me.

So God gives and God gives generously.

But what does Satan do?

He takes.

He takes.

John 10, 10.

Jesus says, the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, right?

What does it begin with?

He seeks to take what is not his.

To take what has not been given to him.

To take what he has not been given credit for.

And that's what marks him.

And so Paul says that we're to walk in a manner worthy of the calling that we have received,

reflective of the one who has saved us.

And so we're to be like him.

So the opposite of stealing, that what we're driving to is not simply not taking something.

Right?

Like, every Sunday, I come in here, usually before you get here for our family time together,

and I set my iPad over here.

Right?

Now, just walking by and not taking that doesn't mean we're good.

Right?

Oh man, I crushed that one today.

I left Bo's iPad again.

Right?

That's not it.

That's not it.

That's not the character and the nature of this.

Because Paul continues to go on.

He doesn't say, hey, don't steal.

Leave that alone.

What does he do?

He says, but rather let him labor.

So the opposite of stealing is working.

Go work.

Go get out.

Go.

God works.

Right?

At the very beginning of what we see in Genesis, God is a working God, creating and cultivating.

And so God gets out and works, and then he plants Adam and Eve in the garden.

And what does he do with them?

This isn't a vacation for them.

God says, go and work.

And so right here, Paul says, no, no.

When we look at the opposite, to walk in a manner worthy of God's calling, it is working.

And so to be the opposite of this begins with you and I cultivating for a reason and for a purpose.

So that from our working, from our cultivating, from our creating, and we can define that a million different ways, all right?

What comes from that, what comes from the honest work of our hands, is so that we may have something to share with those who are in need.

Right?

So you may say you're not stealing, but let me ask you this question.

To walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, the way that Paul defines this, the way that God sets in his scripture, is to be generous.

To be generous.

To live a life that is marked by this.

Now, why is this so important?

Why is this so important?

Let me ask you.

We've talked about this.

How do you want God to treat you?

Open-handed or closed-fisted?

I know for me what I want.

I want open-handed God.

I want the blessings of the Lord.

They are good.

They are new.

They are fresh.

And I want God to overflow that on me.

I don't want God to give me what I deserve.

I want God to be generous with me.

So then how do we live with others?

Do we live closed-fisted?

Probably so.

Probably so.

And the generosity of the Lord lacks.

So are you leaving the iPad alone?

Am I leaving the iPad alone?

Probably.

But are we living lives of generosity?

I've shared this story before.

I'm going to share it again and then we'll move on.

As daughters can do, one time, Emma hurt my feelings deeply.

All right?

If you've got a daughter, you may know what I mean by that.

But she hurt my feelings deeply.

And we were sitting, I was taking her to dance one day.

And we were at an intersection coming off the interstate.

And there was a person who was standing there with their sign.

And they were holding their sign.

And it said a lot of things of kind of where they had gotten to in life

and why they were standing there and different things.

But the point was that they needed some money.

And Emma's sitting there beside me.

And she noticed what I did, which I thought was being pretty shrewd, pretty wise.

And you've probably done this before, right?

If I don't look at them, they won't see me, right?

So I became the most busy man at that intersection, right?

Like, it's time to pray.

It's time to do something.

Because if I make eye contact, right?

Because I can feel them staring at me.

Now, in my truck, like many of you, right?

I got a big thing of change right in the middle.

Maybe you don't do that.

Maybe that's just me.

But I got a big thing of change.

Remember, downtown, I got quarters, all right?

So I got that sitting right there.

And we pull off.

And Emma said, Daddy, why didn't you help that man?

And I gave a very earthly, wise answer.

Well, sweetie, you don't know what he was going to do with that money.

And she said, I know, and you don't either.

She wins, right?

I stole because I wasn't generous.

Can we trust that God's going to take care of what God's going to take care of?

And he didn't make us God to take care of that.

And instead, can we be generous?

Can we be generous?

I heard a pastor say one time, let God sort out all the crooks

and let my pockets be empty due to the generosity, right?

Let God take care of it.

Next is corrupt speech.

Paul writes in verse 29,

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion,

that it may give grace to those who hear.

If you've read through the Bible, right,

there's a great connection between the mouth and the heart.

Matthew 12, 34 says that from the mouth, the heart speaks.

Paul, in Romans, connects the mouth to salvation.

This is key.

This is important.

I read this this week.

It was mind-blowing of the connection of what Paul does.

In Romans 3, Paul says sinners,

so defining them by their sin, not defined by Christ,

that they are lost in who they are.

They are separated and removed from God.

He says the mouth is full of cursing and bitterness

and that their mouths are stopped before the throne of God,

that God will not listen to them because of who they are.

Because of who they are.

So what comes, what is in them comes from them,

and God says, nope, it is stopped before the throne of God.

But then as Paul continues on in Romans,

there's a change that happens.

There's a change that takes place in the person,

and they are no longer the sinner, but they're the saint.

And in Romans 10, where we begin to see this change with the mouth,

Paul says this in Romans 10, that the saved person is no longer cursing and bitterness,

but that the saved person confesses that Jesus is Lord.

And then in Romans 15, the saved person's mouth is open to praise God.

And it's what he hears.

So theologically speaking, there is the connection in who you are to what you say,

to what we've embodied, to every part of who we are.

What comes out of your mouth and what comes out of mine

is the direct connection with who we are in Christ.

And that biblically, when the heart is changed through the power of the resurrection,

when the heart is changed through the saving work of Christ,

then our speech is changed as well.

And so Paul says, let there be no corrupting talk come from your mouth.

I thought this was pretty neat.

That word corrupt here, all right?

When we hear the word corrupt, and we think of politicians, right?

We think of corruption that's taken place.

We think of shady business deals.

But that's not at all what Paul was communicating here.

The word corrupt that Paul uses is the word that would be used to describe rotten fruit.

So he says, let no rotten fruit talk come from your mouth.

So I want you to think about this, right?

Have you ever gone to the store and like bought some fruit,

and then you go home and you put it away,

and then the next day you think, you're like, man, I really would like a peach.

Let's say you bought some peaches, right?

You're like, man, I really would love to get a peach.

And so you go over to that fruit that you just bought the day before,

and you grab that piece that's sitting on the top,

and it looks good and ripe and ready,

and then you turn it over, and it's just mush,

and like the flies come off of it.

You know, anybody ever had that happen, or just me, right?

Like, we've had that happen.

What do you do with that piece of fruit?

Throw it away.

Throw it away.

Why?

Because it's worthless.

It's worthless and decaying and filled with death.

We're not going to consume that, so we discard it.

And Paul says, that's the kind of speech that does not need to come from our mouths.

So instead, he says, take out that of corruption.

Take that of worthlessness.

Take that of decaying.

Take that of death.

And instead, replace it with words of life.

With words of hope.

With words of meaning.

With words of truth.

The simple words that we're to see of how we're to interact with one another

is to simply be an encourager, right?

How many of you, you know of someone who every time you see them,

you just enjoy being around them, right?

Because of the love that they show you

and the encouragement that they give you, right?

Is that what people feel when you walk into a room about you?

Right?

Is that the positioning of who we are?

Is that the words that are expected to fill up and to glorify?

Is that what's there?

And then lastly, bitterness, bitterness.

Ephesians 4, 30 through 32.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God

by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander

be put away from you, along with malice.

Be kind to one another.

Tenderhearted.

Forgiving one another.

As God in Christ forgave you.

I want to be careful the statement that I'm about to make

that you let me kind of walk this out a little bit, okay?

With you this morning.

Bitterness begins in being victimized.

And I want to pause for a moment on that

because no one wakes up in the morning

and says, I want to be victimized today.

I want to open myself up and allow myself to be hurt

and mistreated and abused by others.

No one decides and chooses this for themselves.

I've got a son and a daughter and a wife

who I love dearly.

And I will do all that I can to prevent them

from being a victim.

But the truth is, everyone in this room

at some point in time,

or even currently right now,

is a victim.

And what you're doing spiritually within that,

what you're doing in that moment

of that hurt that's been done to you,

that what's been said about you,

is going to root and base

of what's going to come from this in your life.

And if we're not careful,

what happens in these moments,

what comes from this is bitterness.

What's going to come from this moment

is hurt and pain

that's going to continue and hold on in your life.

And that's what bitterness is.

Something has been done to me.

And we've been there.

We've seen this.

I've sat in my office

and listened to men, women, and children

cry and say,

I didn't choose this.

And this is what has happened.

And God hears your heart

and overflows his compassion

and his love on you.

And we as the body of Christ,

our response to you in that

needs to be love

and acceptance

and encouragement

and walking alongside you

so you do not have to carry that

on your own

so that we can work through healing together.

But we're moved

from the calling

and the character

and the nature of Christ.

When you and I

are victimized,

when not dealt with the way

that God calls us to,

bitterness begins to take root

in our lives

and begins to build

and build

and build.

And Paul gives us the formula.

Right?

He says bitterness.

Here's what happens.

Billionness is going to lead

to wrath.

Right?

Wrath.

That feeling

when you're sitting there

by yourself

and what's been done

becomes to come over

and prayer doesn't invade

those spaces.

Not the Lord,

but when you begin to feel

within yourself

is a boiling of hatred

within you.

Right?

And then he says

what happens to wrath

is wrath leads to anger.

You're like,

well, what's the difference?

Well, if you can think about

like boiling water

on your stove,

all right?

The wrath that is there

are those couple little bubbles

that are going on,

but when anger begins

to build

is when the pot

begins to almost

boil over

and overflow

and like you and I

are walking around

and waiting for the moment

for somebody

to take the needle

and hit the balloon

and watch it explode.

and when bitterness

isn't dealt with

it becomes wrath

which leads to anger

which is here

where we find ourselves

which leads to clamor

which is the outburst.

It's the action

of all that's been done.

It's the action

of all that's been there

and now hurt

has been given

and now hurt

is going to take place

which leads

from clamor

to malice.

the intent

to do evil

and so here's

the vicious cycle

that is found

in this world

that the one

who was victimized

becomes the one

who victimizes others

when bitterness

isn't dealt with,

when bitterness

isn't worked toward

and so Paul

gives a very clear

but difficult answer.

What are we to do

with it?

What are we to do?

This could probably

be a sermon series

but Paul gives us

one sentence.

Be kind to one another.

Be kind.

Understand that

we're the body

of Christ.

The hand doesn't

get mad at the hand

and take it out

on the hand

because it understands

that we're together.

To be tender hearted

means to be gentle

and to be filled

with compassion.

To understand

that as I acknowledge

that I'm not God

that I understand

that you're not God

either which means

that you aren't

all knowing

that you aren't

all powerful

right?

That we understand

that so I'm tender

hearted to those

who may not know

and who may not

understand.

And then the last

and probably the hardest

forgiving one another.

Now forgiving

is really hard.

Really hard.

If holding a grudge

were an Olympic sport

I would probably

I would probably

be Michael Phelps

all right?

I get it.

I get it.

But God says

forgive one another.

And then he set

the standard.

As God

in Christ

forgave

you

and you

and you

and me.

and how

does God

forgive us?

Over

and over

and over

again.

Walk

in a manner

worthy

of the calling

with which

you've received.

To walk

in a manner

that glorifies

God.

Thanks again

for listening

to the

Willow Ridge Church

weekly podcast.

We hope

that you enjoyed

listening to this

week's message.

If you'd like

to learn more

about who we are

or explore

additional resources

visit us

online at

www.willowridgechurch.com

or by searching

for Willow Ridge Church

on Facebook

and Instagram.