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Genesis Week 33 • Biblical Parenting

Willow Ridge Sermons

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  1. Welcome to the Willow Ridge Sermons podcast. This is

  2. where you can find audio from Sunday morning, messages and

  3. more. Make sure you're subscribed so that you don't miss

  4. future episodes. And thanks for listening.

  5. Absolutely. To all of the graduates, we

  6. are so proud of you. To all of

  7. the parents, we are so desperately praying for

  8. you. You know, just a wonderful, time

  9. to see, all of the hard work for you graduates, all the

  10. hard work, the time, the energy that, you've put

  11. in, and the excitement of

  12. what's next. The excitement of

  13. the, certainty or the uncertainty of the

  14. certainty. Right. Of going where God has you and

  15. trusting in your path for him and seeing all. All the things that

  16. he unfolds for you and parents praying for

  17. you, seriously praying for you as

  18. you walk alongside them in a different chapter of

  19. their life, where you're called to walk alongside them in

  20. a different way, maybe, than you ever have

  21. before. but congratulations to all of

  22. our, graduates. if you have your bible, and I hope you do,

  23. I want to invite you to join me in Genesis, chapter

    Genesis 29 chapter mention

  24. 29. We're going to look at verses one through 30

  25. this morning, and in a passage of scripture

  26. that I wasn't sure, when you have these graduate

  27. services, a lot of times it's this,

  28. challenge to the graduates. And what we've kind of done

  29. is continue where we're going to go. And I'll be honest with

  30. you, this morning's passage, a little bit different. and it was neat,

  31. though, as we studied this morning and spent time in prayer, how

  32. God wove together what Aaron and I are

  33. experiencing, as a couple, and something that we've been

  34. doing here at our church. And I think

  35. for the graduates here, as well, but

  36. also for, the parents as we dive

  37. into this, just quick handful, just reminders. The

  38. India meeting after the service is over

  39. with in room 200. I want to get all the information

  40. that I can about two possible trips. so whether you're a

  41. medical professional or not, if you feel God calling you, if

  42. you're interested, please come there. We'll have you out, as

  43. quickly as possible, please. Remember, sign up for kids camp. Sign

  44. up for our discipleship studies. They're on the cards around

  45. here. next Sunday, Robert

  46. Stevens will be sharing. Man, God's just brought Robert

  47. into my life, his whole family into my life. during COVID

  48. is when we met, when they started, coming to Willow Ridge church and being

  49. able to hear all that God's done in Robert's

  50. life and how God is using Robert, in

  51. his suffering and in his tragedy. What God is

  52. doing in him and how he's able to minister to

  53. others, that are close to God and then others who

  54. don't know God is remarkable. And so you'll want to be

  55. here early, for that next week, during our

  56. 09:00, discipleship hour, we'll have youth, we'll

  57. have kids. We'll have all that. So you'll want to be there, for

  58. that. we will be pausing on Genesis

  59. after this morning for the remainder of the summer

  60. as we start our simple Sundays next summer,

  61. which means if you weren't here last week, go back and listen. We've got a video

  62. we're going to put out this week. We'll have our kindergarteners through second

  63. grade in here, each week and then dismissed

  64. after worship, keeping our third through fifth graders in

  65. here, abbreviating the message

  66. time. and we're going to be looking specifically at the

  67. parables of Jesus over the course of the summer. So

  68. it'll be a wonderful time of Bible study and worship and

  69. discipleship for us together, as a

  70. family.

  71. Well, this morning, what we're going to look at

  72. in Genesis chapter 29 is

    Genesis 29 chapter mention

  73. some comparison of what we're going to

  74. see. And the comparison,

  75. there's two weddings that take place.

  76. It gets weird quick. In Genesis

  77. 29, it starts off, and

  78. maybe you'll recognize from a previous

  79. story and then. And then turn really,

  80. really crazy, turn in about midway through.

  81. But that's not necessarily the comparison that we're gonna look at.

  82. What we're gonna look at this morning is this concept

  83. of biblical parenting and worldly

  84. parenting. Biblical parenting,

  85. what God holds for us as parents and for the

  86. family. And then worldly parenting,

  87. what we see happening not only

  88. in our context in which we live, but

  89. also during biblical times. I do

  90. think this. I think that sometimes we look at

  91. our world and we think this is

  92. the worst it's ever been.

  93. There's new sin, there's

  94. new ways of doing evil, and I

  95. really don't think that's the case. I think when

  96. we look out and we see throughout the course,

  97. from the fall until today,

  98. mankind has been doing sin really

  99. well. Mankind has been rebelling

  100. from God. Mankind has been running

  101. from the statutes,

  102. the promises, the hopes,

  103. the joy of scripture to pursue

  104. the foolishness of the world. And

  105. so we can draw some really great. Maybe the

  106. scenarios are different,

  107. but the hearts are still the same.

  108. From Genesis chapter 29 to

    Genesis 29 chapter mention

  109. today, when it comes to this.

  110. Here at Willow Ridge Church, we place a high

  111. level of importance on what we call

  112. family discipleship. We

  113. believe that the family is

  114. God's design for discipleship.

  115. Not only God's design, but the best opportunity

  116. for. For discipleship to happen and take place.

  117. We believe that we, as a church, are called.

  118. It is our beautiful duty of

  119. responsibility to walk alongside

  120. moms and dads and grandmas and

  121. granddads as we walk alongside

  122. you, to be the assistants, to

  123. be the help, to be the mentor, to be

  124. the encourager as you lead

  125. discipleship in your family. We

  126. believe that's why God has entrusted you

  127. with those kids, and God blesses us

  128. and has entrusted us with your family.

  129. So discipleship for us is

  130. incomplete. If you feel like

  131. you're to bring your kids here, drop your

  132. kids off, or even for you, where you will

  133. receive discipleship, you check that box,

  134. and then you go home and you're done. You've done it for the week. It's like

  135. the trip to the grocery store. Who's

  136. gonna do that? Who's gonna fight those lines?

  137. Who's gonna figure that out? No, no, no. We believe that

  138. discipleship is what God has called the family to and best

  139. equipped the family to with the time, the energy, the skills, with

  140. all that's there. And it's our heart to come alongside you.

  141. Aaron and I have been leading a, parenting study over the last ten

  142. weeks. And, man, it's been so good. We've had a lot of

  143. great couples in there at, different stages in life

  144. with different unique situations in their families,

  145. walking through what it looks like to

  146. disciple the, kids that God has entrusted with them.

  147. And Aaron and I have learned so

  148. much as we've taught, as we've led this

  149. study, from the material that we were given, but then also

  150. from just the people that were in the class.

  151. But here's what it comes to. Here's what you've got to

  152. embrace. If you're going to be a

  153. biblical parent. Here's what you've got to just

  154. say, you know, I'm signing up for

  155. this. Being a parent is not

  156. easy, but being

  157. a biblical parent is

  158. a selfless act. It's

  159. continually. Continually

  160. thinking of others

  161. before thinking of yourself.

  162. It's embraced with sacrifice.

  163. It's embraced with living for the mission, where,

  164. as we see with worldly parenting. And

  165. now, I'm not saying that people who don't

  166. know the Lord are not parents who

  167. love their kids. I'm not saying that

  168. what I am going to say

  169. is the information

  170. that drives worldly

  171. parenting comes from a worldview

  172. of selfishness,

  173. while the truth of God's word that

  174. drives biblical parenting

  175. very selfless.

  176. Because biblical parenting is

  177. about discipleship, and the

  178. home is the best avenue for

  179. discipleship. Right? Look at

  180. Jesus when he calls. The disciples

  181. chooses a group of men, and he says,

  182. come follow me continually.

  183. They lived together, ate together, slept together,

  184. talked together, interacted together on a continual

  185. basis, right? If I were to come to

  186. you and say, I want to disciple

  187. you, and then later,

  188. come and follow me, which would be a

  189. weird statement to phrase it that way, but let's

  190. say I did. In that day, you showed up at

  191. my house with, like, two

  192. suitcases and a sack of

  193. groceries from Walmart, and you're like, all right,

  194. we're ready. Let's do this. I'm like,

  195. no, no, no. You misunderstood what I was talking about.

  196. I meant, like, let's meet at Creekside for breakfast.

  197. That's what I meant. but that's what Jesus did,

  198. and that's what we see in the family. We

  199. see the time, we see the opportunity, we see the venue

  200. where this can take place. Biblical parenting is

  201. about discipleship, but when we look at

  202. worldly parenting, what we see is that worldly parenting

  203. is about behavior modification. And we'll explain

  204. that. But what can I

  205. create? What can I turn you into?

  206. And biblical parenting and discipleship are

  207. not about behavior modification. And here's

  208. why. Biblical parenting and discipleship, in the light of

  209. the gospel, says this. This is who

  210. you are.

  211. Christianity always begins with

  212. Christ in who

  213. you are in Christ.

  214. Where your identity is

  215. found is in Christ.

  216. And so in discipleship,

  217. we begin with the mindset that this is

  218. who you are. And then the

  219. application of

  220. discipleship from that is

  221. then this is what you will continue to

  222. become, and then this is what you

  223. do. It all comes out of,

  224. here's who you are in Christ

  225. Jesus, our lord and savior,

  226. where worldly parenting

  227. and behavior modification

  228. is largely this. It is. This is

  229. what you do. So then this is

  230. what you will become. Your

  231. identity in those moments are

  232. found in your accomplishments,

  233. your successes, your achievements

  234. in life. Do you notice the difference in that

  235. with discipleship, with living? In the

  236. gospel, it's, I am a

  237. son of God.

  238. I am a daughter of God.

  239. And then there's expectations that come

  240. from that. But that's who you are.

  241. Where worldly parenting says, no, no, no,

  242. go and make yourself

  243. who you want to be by the things that you

  244. do. So parenting is about

  245. cultivating, this relationship with

  246. your children that seeks to help them

  247. become who God has called them to be in the light of

  248. his truth and his grace. And if you're here and you're

  249. skeptical about that, you're like, well, that seems

  250. to be a very hands off. That seems to be

  251. a very idealistic

  252. view of parenting. That's there.

  253. That seems to be, I'll use the word

  254. weak, but

  255. within this and what we see, and we won't get into great

  256. depths of these, but in biblical parenting, there's rules, there's

  257. instruction, there's teaching, there's discipline, there's structure,

  258. there's boundaries, there's expectations

  259. that are established and met within there. In fact, one of the

  260. verses that I see, that I cling to is

  261. this. Proverbs 22 six. Train up a

  262. child in the way he should go. Even when he is

  263. old.

  264. He will not depart from that.

  265. It's this process of giving of

  266. yourself to train up to help them

  267. understand who they are, setting the parameters and setting

  268. the expectations of God's word of what it means to

  269. love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength,

  270. to love your neighbor as yourself and to then understand

  271. that you do these things so that you can embrace the great commission in

  272. your life, which is to go out and live for

  273. Jesus Christ and to raise up disciples,

  274. to see people come to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

  275. Like, that's it. And then here's the other. So,

  276. like, let's say you're at a different stage in life and you're sitting here. Well,

  277. here's some disclaimers that we want to kind of share about

  278. parenting, about, being a parent, about being a

  279. child, of someone, right?

  280. I'm a man. I'm 44,

  281. 45 sooner than I really want to

  282. be. Right? but I'm still Randy and

  283. Donna Bradbury's child. All right,

  284. here's what I want to say in the Bible. Honor your

  285. father and mother does not come with an expiration

  286. date. You don't hit 18 and you're done

  287. with that, all right?

  288. And I think teenagers need to understand that.

  289. And I think adults

  290. really, really, really need to

  291. understand that. In fact,

  292. the older you get, I believe the harder that is

  293. in this world to apply. But the greater

  294. the call is to honor your father and

  295. mother. All right? The

  296. second thing with that is the verse we just

  297. read to train up a child. Like, being a parent also

  298. doesn't come with an expiration date. It doesn't

  299. come with, they're 18, they're done,

  300. they're out, they're released. They're not my

  301. burden. They're not my responsibility anymore.

  302. Right. The beauty of what God

  303. gives us is the beauty in these relationships

  304. where we keep functioning, we keep working, and we keep

  305. moving, all for this. Okay,

  306. so how do we look at. In Genesis

  307. 29 is the

  308. negative example of what this looks

  309. like? Okay. And so we're going to look at the negative

  310. and then turn to the positive and see what are these lessons of what

  311. it looks like to be a biblical parent. And we're going to see

  312. some absolute craziness in

  313. Genesis 29. And my

  314. caution, as we look at the craziness,

  315. is not to get caught up on the crazy

  316. and think that's them and their problem, but to see the

  317. connection for us within there.

  318. So let's start reading verse one.

  319. Then Jacob went on his journey and came to the land of the

  320. people of the east as he looked and saw

  321. a ah well in the field, and behold, three flocks of sheep

  322. lying beside it. For out of that well, the

  323. flocks were watered. The stone on the well's

  324. mouth was large, and when all the flocks were

  325. gathered there, the shepherds would roll the

  326. stone from the mouth of the well and water the

  327. sheep and put the stone back in its

  328. place over the mouth of the well.

  329. Jacob said to them, my brothers, where do you come from?

  330. They said, we are from Haran. He said to them,

  331. do you know Laban, the son of Nahor? And they said, we know

  332. him. He said to them,

  333. is it well with him? And they said,

  334. it is well. And see, Rachel, his

  335. daughter, is coming with the sheep. And he

  336. said, behold, it is still high day. It

  337. is not time for the livestock to be gathered together,

  338. water the sheep, and go and

  339. pasture them. But they said, we cannot until all

  340. the flocks are gathered together and the stone is

  341. rolled from the mouth of the well. Then

  342. we water the sheep. While he was still

  343. speaking with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep, for

  344. she was the shepherdess. Now, as soon as Jacob saw

  345. Rachel, the daughter of Laban, from his mother's

  346. brother, and the sheep of Laban, his mother's

  347. brother, Jacob came near and rolled the

  348. stone from the well's mouth and

  349. watered the flock of Laban, his

  350. mother's brother. Okay, so real quick, recap

  351. of kind of what's going on. Jacob has been

  352. told. There's the whole deceit thing that we looked at a couple weeks

  353. ago, right? Jacob has been told to leave

  354. and to go to the land of

  355. his mother. And so this is what

  356. he does, which is also the land of his

  357. grandfather, Abraham. And

  358. just as he has been instructed to do, he

  359. approaches and he sees these shepherds and

  360. he asks them if they know Laban. This

  361. is what he's looking for in Genesis, 28 two. Just a

  362. reminder. Jacob been instructed to go there

  363. not just to find safety and keep,

  364. but to go there so that he would

  365. marry one of Laban's daughters.

  366. And the shepherds are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know

  367. him. We know who he is. This is of his flock.

  368. And Laban's. One of Laban's daughters is

  369. coming. And Rachel

  370. appears with her father's

  371. herd. Now, verse ten, I

  372. think is kind of cute things that

  373. guys do sometimes so that girls

  374. notice. Remember, times haven't changed

  375. a whole lot, right? So he sees her and

  376. she's approaching, and he's

  377. what? We'll find out later. Let's just say this. He likes what he

  378. sees, right?

  379. I'll never forget first time I saw my

  380. wife. She was not my wife at the time.

  381. She was walking down the stairs at first Baptist, North Augusta. We were set

  382. up on a blind date. And I remember

  383. thinking, I don't know if that's

  384. who I'm set up with or not, but

  385. if that's not who I'm set up with,

  386. I'm going to try to get to figure out who she is.

  387. Right. She's pretty.

  388. Whoo.

  389. Jacob has some of the same reaction, right?

  390. Tries to get him to go away. They can't. They say

  391. that they can't until they water. And it's not time to water yet. They can't

  392. do that till the flock is there. So what the Bible says is that

  393. there's a stone over the well, and it says that

  394. shepherds, plural, would come together

  395. to remove the stone and to roll it away. All

  396. right. I don't know if it was adrenaline of, I've got

  397. to get these guys out of here. I don't know if it's

  398. the watch me show off in front of

  399. her. But he reaches down and

  400. in Crossfit style, like, this is where

  401. Crossfit came into being. Right here. Right? He lifts

  402. up this stone and he rolls it

  403. away. Look at me. Look at my muscles. This

  404. is who I am. Rachel, take notice of this. All

  405. right, this is the

  406. interaction, verse eleven.

  407. Then Jacob kissed

  408. Rachel and wept aloud.

  409. I don't know. I don't know what to do with that. Right.

  410. and Jacob told Rachel

  411. that he was her father's kinsman

  412. and that he was Rebekah's son.

  413. And she ran and told her father, there are

  414. things culturally that are just off there for us, and we just gotta

  415. trust it. All right? As soon as Laban heard the news

  416. about Jacob, his sister son, he ran to

  417. meet him m and embraced him and kissed him and brought him

  418. to his house. And Jacob told Laban all these things.

  419. And Laban said to him, surely you are

  420. bone. You are my bone and my flesh. And

  421. he stayed with him a month. All right?

  422. Now, no scholar that I could read could give

  423. great clarity to verse eleven. But like,

  424. that just had to be a kiss. You know what I mean? Like,

  425. that's a good kiss right there. He wept.

  426. Right here's where at.

  427. Jacob tells Rachel who he is, that he's a kinsman. He's in the

  428. line of Abraham. This is what she knows. Rachel and Laban

  429. know who he is. Would have known

  430. Abraham, would have known Isaac. They are family. They would have known

  431. the generational wealth. They would have known all that's there.

  432. They would have known who he was. All right? And he is brought

  433. in. Look at verse 15. Then Laban says

  434. to Jacob, because you are my kinsman, should you

  435. therefore serve me for nothing? This kind

  436. of changes a little bit. Tell me what

  437. your wages should be. Now, Laban had

  438. two daughters. The name of the older was

  439. Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.

  440. Leah's eyes were weak, but

  441. Rachel was beautiful in form and

  442. appearance. And Jacob loved

  443. Rachel. And he said, I will

  444. serve you seven years for your younger

  445. daughter, Rachel. And Laban said, it is

  446. better that I give her to you than I

  447. should give her to any other man.

  448. Stay with me. So Jacob

  449. served seven years for

  450. Rachel. And they seemed to him

  451. but a few days, all, right. That's sweet.

  452. But they seemed to him but a few days because of

  453. the love he had for her. So

  454. Laban and Jacob, they strike a

  455. deal. Laban says, look, if you want to stay with me,

  456. you gotta work, set your salary.

  457. So he hires him as a hired servant,

  458. and he agrees. And so he's willing to

  459. do this because of his love

  460. for Rachel. And it's very clear

  461. in scripture that the Bible says that she was. She was

  462. pretty. She's very pretty. He loved

  463. her. But there's a second sister that's there as

  464. well. And the second sister is the older

  465. sister named Leah. And the description that the Bible

  466. gives of her is that her eyes are weak.

  467. And so this is unsure of

  468. exactly what that means. One theologian said that

  469. her eyes may have been just a dull, like, not

  470. attractive eyes. another theologian would say that she

  471. was blind. But here's the difference.

  472. One draws what they would have characterized

  473. a negative aspect. And then on the counter

  474. of that, for Rachel is the

  475. opposite of that. So what we

  476. see are two sisters who are

  477. different, and he is

  478. in love with one and

  479. not the other. And so Jacob and

  480. Laban, what they do here, it seems different, and it

  481. seems, weird to us. But they agree to a dowry,

  482. right? Now, Jacob has no money

  483. to, be able to come at this point because of how he had to

  484. flee his family. So in order for him, which

  485. had been customary of the time, to provide a

  486. dowry, he agrees to work for seven years.

  487. And the sweetness of there right at the end. I've

  488. never worked for my father in law as

  489. employment. I can understand where that could be

  490. a, stressful situation. And it says that over those

  491. seven years, it seemed like days, right?

  492. Because of his love for Rachel.

  493. So, verse 21. Then Jacob

  494. said to, laban, give me my wife, that I may go into

  495. her, for my time is complete. So

  496. Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a

  497. feast. But in the evening, he took his

  498. daughter Leah and brought

  499. her to Jacob. And he went

  500. into her. Laban gave his

  501. female servant, Zilpah, to his daughter Leah

  502. to be her servant. And in the morning,

  503. behold, it was Leah.

  504. And Jacob said to Laban,

  505. what is this you have done to me?

  506. Did I not serve with you for

  507. Rachel? Why, then, have

  508. you deceived me?

  509. So we jump, seven years

  510. later, and Jacob

  511. is ready for his

  512. life. He's ready for his

  513. wedding. He's ready to

  514. consummate his marriage. He's

  515. ready to start his life with

  516. Rachel. And a wedding

  517. happens. But he

  518. doesn't marry

  519. Rachel. Instead,

  520. he married Leah. He was

  521. tricked. The deceiver

  522. was deceived again,

  523. not only in service,

  524. but even in consummating his

  525. marriage. And you're thinking like, man, like,

  526. how can this happen?

  527. All right. Well, during this time, it was

  528. customary for a bride to wear

  529. a veil. And we've seen

  530. veils at our weddings. Maybe some of you ladies,

  531. when you got married, maybe you wore one that

  532. very thin, see through

  533. material where your face can be seen. And

  534. it's more symbolic than it is for anything else. But it was

  535. very customary for this time for it to completely

  536. hide who she was. And in certain

  537. instances, the veil would be

  538. worn not just for the wedding ceremony, but for the

  539. wedding night as well. And

  540. so here he's deceived

  541. by a dad who

  542. uses the control and the authorities

  543. over his daughters, to treat them

  544. as his possessions, to leverage them

  545. for what he wants. Now,

  546. next morning, the next day,

  547. Jacob, all of this is found out. He's

  548. enraged. This is what he's done. This is

  549. what he's committed to. Why has this happened? I, mean, think about

  550. this. All

  551. that you've worked for, all that you've dedicated

  552. yourself for, all that you've held near

  553. and dear in what seven years

  554. seemed like moments in time. Because

  555. for his love. And what happens

  556. is not honoring that, but deception,

  557. selfishness, the heart of a

  558. corrupt dad thinking only of

  559. himself. So he confronts

  560. him. Verse 26 through 30.

  561. Laban said, it is not

  562. so done in our country to

  563. give the younger before the firstborn.

  564. Complete the week of this one,

  565. and we will give you the other

  566. also in return for

  567. serving me another

  568. seven years. Jacob

  569. did so, completed her week.

  570. Then Laban gave him his daughter, Rachel to be his

  571. wife. And Laban gave him his female

  572. servant, Bilhah, to his daughter Rachel to

  573. be her servant. So Jacob went into

  574. Rachel also, and he loved

  575. Rachel more than Leah and

  576. served Laban for another seven

  577. years. Some

  578. levels of dysfunction that are

  579. happening in that family. All right,

  580. ladies, I don't know how close you are with your sister,

  581. but I imagine having the same husband would

  582. lead to some conflict. But let's look

  583. and see. Let's eliminate the

  584. very specific actions

  585. that were done here and look at the

  586. categories of what Laban did,

  587. what Laban took on of himself, that

  588. embraced worldly parenting

  589. versus the parenting of the standard of God. Number,

  590. one, he determines for himself that he is

  591. the authority, and he controls the lives of his

  592. daughters. In this moment, he

  593. says, it's my will. It's my

  594. way. I'm going to determine who you are. I'm going

  595. to determine what you become. There are these that are

  596. set so it's not in light of who you are.

  597. This is what you do, but it's inside of what I'm going

  598. to cause you to do, of what you're going to

  599. be. In spite of the expectations,

  600. what he does, as crazy

  601. as this seems for us, as

  602. off putting, as offensive,

  603. as grotesque as this seems for

  604. us, he embraced the norms and

  605. the customs of the society of which he lived.

  606. That was his excuse to Jacob. He's like, listen, man, like,

  607. I just did what culture and

  608. society demand or what is normal

  609. or what is right for us.

  610. And then what he does is he

  611. continues on.

  612. 14 years of, securing

  613. financial freedom and benefits for

  614. his family, above all things.

  615. When I looked at in this light.

  616. Laban has many of the same

  617. aspirations as parents.

  618. In 2024, just

  619. played out in a different environment.

  620. He wanted to control. They are going to do.

  621. They are going to be what I have determined for

  622. them. We're not going

  623. to be influencers in society,

  624. but society is going to influence us,

  625. and it will rise above the standards of what

  626. God has for us and above

  627. all things. What does this

  628. mean, and how does this benefit me?

  629. M what does this mean, and how does this benefit

  630. me? It's kind of a difficult passage of

  631. scripture when we look at. So

  632. how can you and I, take this learning from

  633. others mistakes to see what God

  634. could call us to be as parents,

  635. to see what God would call us to

  636. respond as children learning

  637. to and growing in honoring

  638. their mother and father. What can we look at with

  639. this? And I think the first thing that we see from

  640. this is movement, from controlling

  641. to navigating move. When it comes

  642. to biblical parenting, from

  643. controlling to navigating,

  644. Laban had determined what his daughters

  645. would become and who they would be.

  646. What I love about proverbs 22

  647. six is this train

  648. up a child. Train

  649. up, a child in the way that

  650. he should go. And even

  651. when he is old, he will

  652. not depart from it.

  653. This word train

  654. that's here, it means to

  655. initiate or to dedicate.

  656. To initiate or

  657. dedicate. To move

  658. a child toward where they should

  659. go in their walk, in their relationship with

  660. the Lord. In our parenting class, like,

  661. there is a season in

  662. parenting for control,

  663. right? Like, I love it. I loved

  664. it. In the times where we've got our kids, and

  665. it's like, we've got to control the environment

  666. to provide the opportunity

  667. for you to be able to grow in

  668. wisdom and knowledge of the Lord. And so, in this

  669. controlling environment, there's a lot of these rules that

  670. we've got to establish and the protection for you to do

  671. that. But here's what I know. That the older a

  672. kid gets and the more that we try to hold

  673. on and squeeze them tightly is the moment,

  674. like, right here in my fist, I can

  675. see the cracks and the crevices where they'll fight the

  676. push through.

  677. And you try to take a

  678. child, and our action is

  679. control. But what we see

  680. from scripture, what we are in this, is there's

  681. a season for that. But the end goal of what

  682. we're working toward, the end goal of what we're

  683. pushing to, is moving away from control

  684. and to help them navigate

  685. the waters, to

  686. navigate the path,

  687. man, like all of you parents

  688. and your precious kids were up, there

  689. on that screen, man. You're feeling

  690. that weight now of

  691. the release of what time

  692. in our culture has provided for

  693. them to go out into this world, into the

  694. workforce, into the military, into college,

  695. wherever the Lord has for them to go. And

  696. you're realizing that, man, I've got to move

  697. from this to this.

  698. And the caution that I

  699. say also often is, if it's that fast

  700. of a release, the shock to

  701. the system is unbearable. But over

  702. the course, if what we're moving toward is

  703. this gradual, so that they're equipped to go and to

  704. be all that God has called him to be. So what does

  705. it mean? Like, how do we train up? We point them to Jesus,

  706. we commit them to Jesus, we disciple them to Jesus,

  707. and then in this, we release them to

  708. follow Jesus. That's not what

  709. Laban does. Laban says, I'm going to term and

  710. I'm going to do. You're going to do as I instruct you to

  711. do. The second thing that we see of being a biblical

  712. parent is this. Understand that we need to be

  713. a culture influencer, not one

  714. influenced by culture. So

  715. this is even the second and the third time where

  716. we overly see polygamy in scripture.

  717. So I want to kind of talk about this for a minute.

  718. All right. Laban, within the

  719. context of his family, says yes

  720. to polygamy, even though this

  721. isn't the design of God. All right.

  722. specifically, polygamy

  723. is something that is common

  724. in the Old Testament.

  725. Polygamy is a practice that

  726. continues, throughout different parts and different

  727. places of the world.

  728. Polygamy culturally

  729. made sense during this

  730. time.

  731. Polygamy was never

  732. go all the way back to Genesis. Imperfection in the garden,

  733. polygamy never the design of God.

  734. But what we see is that culture

  735. established that polygamy made

  736. sense, and here's why. Now, I'm not saying it made sense in that I

  737. agree with it, but I'm saying in the norm

  738. of the society of what's there,

  739. polygamy made sense, and here's why. And

  740. it's all a break from the design of God

  741. or for what God had. But in this day,

  742. in essence, a woman had little to no

  743. value apart from the support of

  744. a man. And men

  745. would go off to war and men would die. and so

  746. it was common in the culture for there to be

  747. more women than there were men. And so

  748. in order for them to care for and to

  749. protect in their eyes, what they said

  750. was, well, then I'll take more

  751. women as wives. And this is the

  752. way that I will protect them. And this

  753. is the lie that they began to believe over

  754. and over and over again,

  755. breaking from the design, from

  756. God. So when the church is

  757. established in the book of acts,

  758. what did the early church, who were the group of people

  759. they were challenged to care for, the

  760. widows and the orphans, do you know

  761. what they didn't do? They didn't gather

  762. in a room and say, all right, we gotta

  763. care for these ladies. How many you

  764. want? How many you want? How many you

  765. want? They didn't do that.

  766. Do you know what they did? They

  767. sold all their possessions,

  768. and they gave it away because

  769. they knew that their value was not found

  770. in who they were married to or who they were promised to,

  771. but their value was found in who they are in Christ.

  772. That's where their value is. And

  773. so what we see in here is a

  774. culture influence of what

  775. Jacob, where Laban was. And

  776. what would it have been.

  777. How would the story, the narrative have been

  778. if Jacob would have been like, no, no, no,

  779. this is not God's design. This is

  780. not God's design. And you have deceived me.

  781. And she is the sister of the woman

  782. who I love. And so here's what I promise and here's what I

  783. plan. She is not my wife,

  784. but I'm going to care for her. I'm going to provide for her.

  785. I'm going to make sure that she is taken care of because that's

  786. what she needs. And instead, he gave into it

  787. as well.

  788. The question that I have when it comes to us

  789. as parenting is this.

  790. Do we press against

  791. the cultures of this world?

  792. Who wants to influence, influence us? And do

  793. we embrace them as the norm?

  794. Or do we push against

  795. and allow discipleship in the gospel to ring true in our

  796. family? Deuteronomy, chapter

  797. six. One of my favorite passages on

  798. parenting. It says, hear,

  799. o Israel, the Lord our God is one. You shall

  800. love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, with

  801. all your might. And these words I command you today shall

  802. be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to

  803. your children and talk of them when you sit in your

  804. house and when you walk by the way and when you lie

  805. down and when you rise up. you shall bind them as a sign

  806. on your hand, and there should be frontlets between your eyes.

  807. You shall write them on the doorpost of your

  808. houses and on your gates. A lot of thing there

  809. is happening culturally within the context of

  810. what's being communicated here. But what Moses is

  811. communicating and the generational discipleship from

  812. the parents and the elders of Israel to their kids

  813. is this. It will be marked that we are different, that we

  814. are God's people, and we will live a lifestyle of

  815. discipleship that continually reminds the next

  816. generation that, so that they will know who God is. And they will

  817. remind the next generation that, so that they will know who God

  818. is. And they will remind the next generation that, so that they will

  819. know who God is. It will not be a class that we teach, take

  820. them to. It will not be a youth group that we drop them off at. It

  821. will not be a kid's ministry that they are sent to, but it is

  822. embodiment of who we are. And we will be marching

  823. into a culture to establish who God is, and we

  824. will not march into a culture and allow them to establish

  825. who we are. And here's what I think is

  826. the downfall of the

  827. american family christian

  828. unit. We have

  829. allowed everything around

  830. us to knock off, what

  831. we believe is not necessary

  832. when it comes to God's expectations. And we

  833. become more like them. And we've stopped

  834. spreading the gospel so that they become more like Christ.

  835. And the statistics back that up.

  836. The statistics back that up.

  837. Lexington county,

  838. I'm not going to talk about India. I'm not going to talk about

  839. China. I'm not going to talk about Syria. I'm going to talk

  840. about our place where we live, where

  841. there's a church on every corner,

  842. where there's christians living in every

  843. neighborhood, where we can go out and

  844. proclaim the gospel without fear of being arrested,

  845. of being persecuted, of anything bad happening to

  846. us. The government's not going to take your money. The government's not going

  847. to take your job. The government's not going to throw you in jail for

  848. talking to people about who Jesus is. And right now, in

  849. Lexington county, and I'm not saying that all of these people are actually

  850. saved. All right? 33% of Lexington

  851. county identifies themselves as a follower of Jesus Christ

  852. because christians

  853. stopped, or people who

  854. claim to be christians stop.

  855. We gotta press, gotta press. We

  856. gotta press. Jesus. John 17. And I

  857. apologize if this isn't on the screen. It

  858. says, I've given them your word, and the

  859. world has hated them because they are not

  860. of the world, just as I am not of the world.

  861. And oftentimes church. Let me pause here. We've done a disservice

  862. because we've stopped here. And this is the verse

  863. that we use to say, we're in the world, but not of the world.

  864. And that's partially what Jesus is saying. But there's more. Verse

  865. 15. I do not ask that you take them out of the

  866. world, but that you keep them from the evil one. So

  867. Jesus's prayer to God is that where you're

  868. at and the dysfunction and the sin and the corruption and everywhere

  869. that you are, that God would leave you there

  870. and that God would protect you. They are not

  871. of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them

  872. in your truth. Your word is truth. And look what Jesus

  873. says. As you sent me into the world,

  874. so have I sent them into the world.

  875. See, our job as followers of

  876. Jesus, our job as

  877. parents, our jobs as, as a

  878. church, is not to say how do we

  879. isolate ourselves from the world, how do we

  880. build our own christian utopia that

  881. eliminates us from all influence, from

  882. all consequences, from all

  883. struggles, from all temptations. That's

  884. not it. Our prayer should be the prayer

  885. of Jesus, of what we say of God.

  886. I'm praying that you're going to keep them and that you're going to

  887. protect them and that you're going to keep me and that you're going to

  888. protect me. Because as Jesus was sent into the

  889. world to share who he is and what

  890. salvation comes from, that in him and him

  891. alone, that God, we would live for the same

  892. purpose and the same power, that we would walk into this

  893. world filled with the power of the Holy Spirit that you have given

  894. us to proclaim a gospel message that is not

  895. natural to those who hear it and not try

  896. to remove ourselves. And that in doing

  897. so, not through litigation,

  898. not through norms, but we influence

  899. culture through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

  900. And so we define

  901. who we are by Jesus.

  902. And then we go to the lost

  903. world and we don't say to

  904. them, hey, get your life right and do what I

  905. do.

  906. We say, get your life

  907. saved and come meet my friend Jesus.

  908. And then oh man, what he's going to

  909. do in your life. And we're

  910. proof of that. We're proof of

  911. that.

  912. The third thing, we'll close with this. The third

  913. thing, value children

  914. as a blessing

  915. and do not simply see them as valuables.

  916. Here's what I mean by that. Don't

  917. simply view, I've got

  918. enough because this is what I can get.

  919. Value children as a

  920. blessing. Doctor Tony Evans

  921. and his kids, they led the study that

  922. Aaron and I facilitated. I learned

  923. a lot. I really respect. I've had the opportunity to

  924. meet, him once. He came and spoke at the church that I grew up

  925. in. Very godly man followed his ministry. Stayed close

  926. to his ministry. and here's. He taught so much over

  927. the course of this study. But here's one of the quotes that he

  928. said that really hit home for me.

  929. Really hit home. Doctor Tony Evans

  930. said this. Children

  931. are the only blessing from God.

  932. Most people want less of.

  933. I want more health.

  934. I want more money. I want

  935. more influence. Jesus, I

  936. want more of you.

  937. But that's enough. That's

  938. enough.

  939. And I'm not just talking about

  940. how we view kids within the context

  941. of our marriage.

  942. I'm talking about how we view kids.

  943. We got a world that has

  944. said they're an inconvenience,

  945. and that's enough.

  946. We've got a culture that is

  947. said they're an inconvenience,

  948. that's enough. And I want to

  949. be honest with you. We've got

  950. churches that say,

  951. how can we find on Sunday mornings,

  952. opportunities to babysit our kids so that a group

  953. of selfish adults can gather in rooms away from them?

  954. Because I'll be honest with you, we've got enough.

  955. Children are the only blessing from

  956. God most people want less

  957. of. Laban

  958. wanted to know, man,

  959. how can I get rid of

  960. instead of understanding who they are?

  961. Psalm 127 three.

  962. Behold, children

  963. are a heritage from the

  964. Lord. The fruit

  965. of the womb, reward.

  966. They're loud,

  967. they're messy,

  968. they're complicated,

  969. they cause trouble.

  970. They'll make you frustrated.

  971. They'll give you a headache. All right, now,

  972. I was describing our men of this church. All

  973. right? You see,

  974. that describes people.

  975. Children are a

  976. heritage from the Lord.

  977. Children are a

  978. blessing from the Lord.

  979. A quiet church, a

  980. dying church.

  981. A quiet church is a dying

  982. church. Our kids are, not

  983. the church of tomorrow. I

  984. don't believe that. I believe

  985. when we say that that's foolish.

  986. Our kids are the church

  987. today. Our

  988. teenagers are the church today.

  989. They're a heritage. They're a

  990. blessing.

  991. Luke 18,

  992. Jesus is in a city,

  993. and they were bringing even

  994. infants to him that he might

  995. touch them.

  996. And when the disciples saw it,

  997. they rebuke them.

  998. Just pause for a moment

  999. and understand how offensive that is,

  1000. but also pause for a moment

  1001. and understand how socially

  1002. applicable that is still today.

  1003. Nah, Jesus is too important for that.

  1004. Jesus doesn't have time for that.

  1005. We don't need to bother him with that.

  1006. But Jesus called them to him,

  1007. saying, let the

  1008. children come to me

  1009. and do not hinder them, for

  1010. to such belongs the

  1011. kingdom of God. God.

  1012. Truly, I say to you,

  1013. whoever does not receive

  1014. the kingdom of God like a

  1015. child, shall not

  1016. enter it. I've shared this

  1017. with you. Before anyone at our church gets baptized,

  1018. one of our ministers

  1019. has a conversation with them,

  1020. and then we share. At staff meeting, dawn will

  1021. share. Joel will share. Dave will share. Berger will share. I will

  1022. share. Hey, here's the conversation I

  1023. had with this person, and I'll be honest

  1024. with you. I love the conversations

  1025. that we get to have with dawn.

  1026. I love them, because

  1027. here's what usually what she says,

  1028. something in this world,

  1029. well, you know, they couldn't answer it

  1030. all, but they know

  1031. Jesus. They know

  1032. Jesus. And I

  1033. thought, isn't that

  1034. faith? Isn't that what it

  1035. means to come to Christ?

  1036. Let, me ask you, when you came to Jesus,

  1037. how many of you had your theology degrees?

  1038. When you came to Jesus,

  1039. how many of you knew the

  1040. intricacies of revelation?

  1041. When you came to Jesus, how many of you

  1042. had most of the Bible memorized? You

  1043. didn't, and you still don't today, and neither do I.

  1044. But we came to Jesus not

  1045. knowing at all. But we came to

  1046. Jesus because we knew him.

  1047. And parents,

  1048. parents, hear this.

  1049. One day.

  1050. One day your kid's going to stand before Christ,

  1051. and they're batting average,

  1052. their dance competitions,

  1053. their track meets,

  1054. their GPA,

  1055. their degree isn't going

  1056. to matter. Isn't going to

  1057. matter. The only

  1058. thing. The only thing that

  1059. matters is, do they know him?

  1060. Did they know him? And

  1061. so anything,

  1062. anything that

  1063. distracts from

  1064. that

  1065. is foolishness. Is

  1066. foolishness.

  1067. May we live as a people.

  1068. When Moses stood before

  1069. Israel in Deuteronomy six,

  1070. he stood before parents and grandparents.

  1071. He stood before senior adults. He

  1072. stood before young adults without kids.

  1073. He stood before all of them and

  1074. said, this is who we are to be

  1075. for the next generation. This is what we

  1076. are to do. Whether your name is

  1077. mom or dad, dad or

  1078. not, this is how we're to raise them up.

  1079. It's time for the church

  1080. to embrace what it means to

  1081. hold the discipleship of the

  1082. family and to continue on and continue

  1083. on so that we'll impact the

  1084. world for Jesus.

  1085. Would you pray with me?

  1086. God, I thank you so much for this

  1087. morning.

  1088. God, I thank you for just. Lord, a

  1089. very complicated passage of

  1090. scripture

  1091. that causes us where to cause

  1092. me

  1093. to dig, to see,

  1094. to pray.

  1095. And, Lord, we see a man

  1096. that the culture would have said

  1097. they're successful.

  1098. He took matters into his own hands.

  1099. He made sacrifices for the good of his

  1100. family. But for the good of

  1101. his family was not for the good of God.

  1102. And God. So often

  1103. what we have done is we

  1104. have lived like

  1105. Laban in our context,

  1106. succumbing to the culture of the

  1107. world,

  1108. succumbing to the standards that they've set

  1109. for us, succumbing to

  1110. the selfishness of our heart

  1111. and God. May we as a church,

  1112. may we as a people, may we as

  1113. families, may we as

  1114. individuals say, for the good

  1115. and for the glory of God in a world,

  1116. in a nation, in a state,

  1117. in a county, in a

  1118. city where the number

  1119. of christians are declining

  1120. rapidly. Lord, may we

  1121. say, not only do we want to live boldly

  1122. for Jesus, but Lord, we want to

  1123. invest the time. Lord, we

  1124. want to invest the volunteering. Lord,

  1125. we want to invest the money. Lord, we want

  1126. to invest the service, not

  1127. in anything else other than for the

  1128. continued movement of the

  1129. and God, I thank you so much for this

  1130. church who has embraced that. I

  1131. thank you for a staff who champions that.

  1132. But, Lord, can we do it more? Could we grow more

  1133. obedient to you, more passionate to

  1134. you for being

  1135. who you are and doing what you called us to do

  1136. as we live, for your name, for

  1137. your glory, God. If there's anyone

  1138. here who does not know you,

  1139. Lord, I pray that today they would come

  1140. to know you through faith like a child.

  1141. It's okay if you're in here this

  1142. morning and you don't know all the answers.

  1143. It's okay this morning if you don't even

  1144. really feel like you understand who Jesus is.

  1145. But if you would believe in the truth,

  1146. Jesus Christ

  1147. alone is the way, the truth and life.

  1148. You'll put your hope and your faith and your trust in

  1149. him that it is in a relationship with

  1150. him, the perfect, sinless son

  1151. of God who died on the cross

  1152. to save you from your sins and who rose from the

  1153. grief. You don't have to understand it,

  1154. but if you believe it this morning, put

  1155. your faith, your hope and trust in it. Today

  1156. will be the day of your salvation.

  1157. God, work and move how you

  1158. will and how you desire.

  1159. Amen.

  1160. Thanks again for listening and be sure to check back next

  1161. week for another episode. In the meantime, you

  1162. can visit us at ah, willowridgechurch.org dot or by

  1163. searching for Willow Ridge Church on Facebook, Instagram

  1164. and Twitter.