The Book of Matthew • Matthew 5:27-30

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Again, good morning, and if you have your Bibles, and I hope that you do, I want to invite

you to join us in Matthew chapter 5.

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

Specifically, in just a moment, we're going to start reading in verse 31.

Now, today's passage we're going to look at is going to be Jesus' teaching on divorce,

and what we're going to do is we're going to look at what Jesus says about divorce to help

us better understand God's plan and God's intention in marriage.

Now, I want to take you guys back to 2004.

For some of us, that seems like yesterday, for some of you, you weren't even born then.

I want to tell you about what would come to be the craziest, wildest, Beau Bradbury you're

growing up, 30-day time period in my life, from about mid-May to about mid-June.

Three milestones that happened and took place during that time.

Number one, I bought a house.

I bought a house.

I had never, I had lived up until this point, I had lived in a dorm room and in the room

above my parents' garage, right?

Like, that was my experience.

So, I bought my first house.

If you weren't there, I bought a first house.

About 10, 15 days after that, I took my first job and got ordained as a youth pastor at Town

Creek Baptist Church, right?

Major milestones.

Man, God was working.

God was doing things.

I was learning about things.

I was learning about things like escrow.

I was learning about things like interest.

Like, I thought like my month, like that would then deduce the amount that I owed on my house

and then I found out that a little bit went to pay off the house, more went to pay off

this thing called interest that the bank was getting, right?

Like, like major milestones, like the house.

I become a youth pastor at a church.

Like, all of these things are happening in my life.

And then, and then, the biggest milestone of my life outside of salvation, right?

I got married.

I got married.

Like, 15 days after that, right?

So, I convinced someone to let me buy a house.

Miracle.

I convinced someone to let me be their youth pastor.

Like, a whole church.

Miracle.

And then, a miracle upon miracles upon miracles, right?

I'd out to kick my coverage.

And at Matlock Baptist Church in Jackson, South Carolina, Erin Reiser walked down on that

blue carpet in that little country church, packed out with her dad standing there officiating

the wedding, a military chaplain, officiating, yeah, if you're not marrying a military man's

daughter, right?

We got pictures as we're all walking out, everybody's smiling, everybody's doing this, Erin's dad's

standing there.

Which, if you ever meet him, this, for him, this means I love you.

Right?

So, that's what, but I got married.

Now, here's where I'm going to talk about this.

Since then, since May of 2004, I have now lived in and purchased five houses.

Since May of 2004, I have worked as a full-time pastor in four different churches.

But since that same 30-day time period, by the grace of God and evidence of the Holy Spirit

in the life of my wife, I've just been married the one time.

Just the once.

Just the once.

She hadn't kicked me out.

She hadn't said, you gotta go.

Grace covers this woman.

And she loves me in spite of all that I'm capable of doing.

Here's why I start off by talking about this.

If we were to say to our world, hey, we're going to show you ways that you can move up in your career.

Ways that you can promote yourself and make more money and take that next step.

Thousands upon thousands of people would come running and say, tell me the secret.

If we go out into our world and advertise over and over and over again,

there's a way to take your house and move to the next house and move to the next house and move to the next house.

There's a way that you can flip and flip and flip.

There'd be thousands of people who sign up.

And in both instances, to hear about our opinion.

But the truth is, if we come and say, hear from the truth of God's word,

we can point to you and show you and tell you what it means to have the marriage that God desires for you.

Not only oftentimes would the world reject that,

but so many times those of us in the church reject it as well.

As we've been studying in the Gospel of Matthew,

we're in the section where we're studying the Sermon on the Mount.

So far within this sermon, Jesus has been dealing with some topics.

The topic of anger and the topic of lust and adultery.

And we see that Jesus in the teaching, that when we look at the fullness of Scripture,

what we find is Jesus is moving us to a greater good, a greater calling.

That it's not just do not murder, but that it's work toward forgiveness and reconciliation.

That it's not just do not lust, but it's how we look at, how we view one another,

how we see one another, that matters.

And now Jesus coming off the teaching of lust goes into a very sensitive subject of divorce.

And to lay down and establish not just what God's word is going to say,

what we're going to see in Matthew 5 about the topic of divorce,

but through looking at the fullness of Scripture, what we see of God's purpose and God's intention in marriage.

So join with me.

Let's read Matthew 5, starting in verse 31.

Jesus writes, I mean, Jesus speaks.

He says,

Now here in Matthew 5, I want to make this extremely clear.

And we're going to also see the Apostle Paul will refer to this in 1 Corinthians 7.

Jesus gives a consideration for divorce, not a command for divorce.

We see that Jesus' consideration for divorce in Matthew 5 is that concerning matters of adultery.

And the Apostle Paul will give consideration for divorce in 1 Corinthians 7 concerning matters of desertion.

But again, the goal is not, here's how you can divorce.

But the goal in the heart of God is reconciliation.

Reconciliation.

Well, it makes sense maybe in times like today, while divorce would be a very hot topic,

a key piece that people might want to find themselves teaching on.

But even in the time of Christ, this concept of divorce, this desire to obtain a divorce,

it was a common desire in the world of Jesus as well.

I think sometimes we look at our world and we think that our world is a lot worse than it was in times previously.

But it's not the case.

In fact, that what we find in Matthew 5, in the days of Jesus,

is the time in which he is giving this instruction in the time of Paul in 1 Corinthians as well,

that marriage was under attack as well.

So marriage has been under attack.

Marriage will be under attack.

But in the fullness of Scripture, we see God's heart and God's plan and God's desire.

Let me explain to you a couple of things that are happening in the time of Christ.

During the time of Christ, divorce was rampant.

And divorce was destructive in the family and in the culture in the time of Christ.

Very specifically, divorce was set up in the system of what's there

to promote and enable the men of the culture

to live out the fleshly desires that they had.

And it caused the women, in many ways, to be subjected, to be oppressed,

and to be controlled by the men of the day.

If you think that divorces happen for reasons that are flippant,

let me share with you some of the rabbis' teachings during the time of Christ, right?

Some of the rabbis' teaching of why a man could file for a certificate of divorce for his wife.

If a woman did not perform her household duties as given to her by her husband,

then he could divorce her.

If a wife could not bear children,

then the husband could divorce her.

If the husband found that certain aspects of his wife were unattractive,

specifically some examples that are spoken to,

was if he found the shape of her head,

her posture,

the thickness or thinness of her hair,

the shape of her eyebrows,

the shape of her nose,

the positioning of her eyes or her teeth,

the size of her knees or her ankles,

either too large or too small,

then he could divorce her.

It gets worse.

If she ate something that he did not give her permission to eat,

then he could divorce her.

Concerning matters of the in-laws,

please note like zero amens on this, all right?

Just go with me.

If she went to her parents' house without his permission,

he could divorce her.

Be quiet on this one.

If her parents moved closer to them without his permission,

then he could divorce her.

If she burned his supper,

like, yeah, please stop laughing,

he could divorce her.

If he found someone

that he thought was prettier than her,

then he could divorce her.

I think this is important.

If he felt like

she was not providing for him

in ways that he deemed

were sufficient

in any way,

shape,

or form,

then he could divorce her.

Now,

again,

this isn't,

during the time of Jesus,

this isn't just a cultural teaching

that Jesus is stepping into,

but Jesus is stepping into

an ungodly religious teaching

that the rabbis

are declaring

that the culture

has embraced

and at its core

is attacking

the institution

of marriage

for the sake

of the flesh of man.

Marriage is not being

looked at

at this time

as how does it reflect

the heart

and nature

of God.

Marriage is being

looked at

and how

can it satisfy

the sinful

heart

of man?

Maybe,

maybe,

this is where

we find ourselves today.

Maybe you and I

do

live in a culture

where we say

let's not allow

the Bible

and God

to define

marriage

and its purpose

and its intent,

but let's allow

the culture

or maybe even more

specifically

as we bring it home,

let's allow

the sinfulness

of me,

let's allow

the sinfulness

of man

to determine

what this is.

I found this

pretty surprising.

I've heard

for years

that the

divorce rate

in the United

States

is somewhere

around 50%.

Come to find out

that number

has

declined.

In the United

States

right now

about 33%

of all marriages

end in divorce.

so on the

surface

that's

commendable

but then

we begin

to dive in

and try to

understand

why the

numbers are

what the

numbers are

and what

we find

is

while the

number

of divorces

are down

the number

of marriages

are at an

all time

low.

So right

now

in our

world

it's less

likely

that

that

people

will

choose

to be

married.

They see

the system

they feel

that it's

broken

they feel

that it's

not for

them

and then

they will

define

their

union

as they

see fit.

What about

the church?

For

marriages

today

where both

parties

claim

Christian

faith

both

32%

end

in

divorce

so

33%

to

32%

and

today

if

we're

being

frank

the

definition

of

marriage

is

largely

determined

globally

by

governments

individuals

and

cultures

let's

define

what

marriage

is

and so

Jesus

steps into

a world

of that

steps

into

a world

of marriage

and we're

going to

see

the

different

pieces

of this

and why

this

matters

so much

to

him

where

a man

can

divorce

his

wife

because

she

ate

something

that

he

said

didn't

belong

to

her

we

step

into

a

world

where

a

man

can

divorce

his

wife

because

the

hair

on

her

head

has

become

too

thin

Jesus

steps

into

a

world

where

a

man

can

divorce

his

wife

because

another

woman

in the

town

turned

his

eye

and

that

in

this

these

people

claim

godliness

and I

see the

exact

same

thing

in our

culture

today

does

does

Jesus

give

does

god

give

considerations

for

divorce

absolutely

absolutely

he does

always

desiring

always

pointing

toward

reconciliation

the bible's

clear

god hates

divorce

but he

opens up

these matters

in adultery

and in

matters

of desertion

i

think

the

issue

that

we

face

is

not

what

can

i

do

to

get

divorced

but i

think

even

within

the

church

we

have

to

have

an

honest

conversation

about

what

is

biblical

marriage

what

is

biblical

marriage

because

i'll be

honest

with

you

most

christians

that i

hear

talk

about

what

a

biblical

marriage

is

is

defining

a

biblical

marriage

at a

kindergarten

level

is

defining

marriage

at a

kindergarten

level

they're

starting

with a

great

foundation

but

they're

not

growing

their

understanding

of that

moving

forward

and what

we want

to do

this

morning

is

as we

look

to

as

Jesus

says

it's

not

that

you

just

don't

murder

but

it

has

to

work

toward

reconciliation

it's

not

that

you

just

don't

commit

adultery

but

you

work

to

God

and

who

God

has

called

you

to

be

I

want

us

to

understand

this

morning

what

is

biblical

marriage

so

flip over

with me

to

Matthew

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

chapter

19

Matthew

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

chapter

19

here

just a

moment

we're

going to

read

verses

3

through

6

what

is

biblical

marriage

well

Jesus

in

Matthew

19

is

going

to

quote

from

Genesis

and

Jesus

is

going

to

explain

that

biblical

marriage

is

of

heavenly

design

biblical

marriage

is

of

heavenly

design

so

who

defines

what

marriage

is

check

check

all right

it's

slashing

on me

so

if not

I'll get

even louder

next time

thanks

man

all right

biblical

marriage

is

of

heavenly

design

Matthew

Matthew 19:3–6

19

verses

3

through

6

and

Pharisees

came up

to him

and tested

him

by asking

is it

lawful

to divorce

one's

wife

for any

cause

and he

answered

have you

not read

that he

who created

them from

the beginning

made them

male and

female

and said

therefore

a man

shall leave

his father

and his

mother

and hold

fast to

his wife

and the

two

shall

become

one

flesh

so

there

are

no

longer

two

but

one

flesh

what

therefore

God

has

joined

together

let

not

man

separate

so

in

this

passage

Jesus

takes

the

teaching

of

creation

of

what

we

see

in

the

biblical

understanding

of

marriage

and Jesus

is going

to expand

on that

and so

that's why

we're looking

at this

passage

in

Matthew

19

3

through

6

so

here's

the

kindergarten

level

that we've

got to

begin

on

marriage

biblical

marriage

godly

marriage

Christ

honoring

marriage

is one

man

and one

woman

that's

the plan

that's

the design

one

man

and one

woman

it's

the plan

that god

has

given

it's

the plan

that we're

going to

see

it's

the only

marriage

that god

is going

to bless

it's

going to

be how

we see

god

work

and move

this is

the

kindergarten

level

this is

what we

have to

agree

on

and the

context

and the

matters

of

biblical

marriage

it

was

and it

is

and it

will

be

one

man

and one

woman

the

second

thing

that we

see

here

in

Matthew

Matthew 19 · chapter mention

chapter

19

which is

echoing

in

Genesis

1

is that

within

this

there is

commitment

to

one

another

there's

commitment

to

one

another

I'm

going to

tell you

something

I love

my wife

my wife

is a

blessing

my wife

treats me

better than

I deserve

my wife

challenges

me

my wife

makes

me

better

my wife

is

compassionate

to me

my wife

is an

encourager

to me

I

outkick

my

coverage

when she

said yes

to marrying

me

but I

want to

say this

as well

being

married

is

hard

being

married

is

hard

it's

difficult

because

while my

wife

is all

of those

things

she's

not

perfect

she

comes

with

her

faults

she

comes

with

her

sins

she

comes

with

her

issues

and so

do I

and you

take

two

people

who

in

their

flesh

can

be

selfish

and in

those

moments

marriage

is

a

commitment

marriage

is not

a

commitment

at

the

altar

it

is a

commitment

at

the

altar

and

it's

a

commitment

every

day

marriage

is

making

a

choice

to

love

and

to

honor

her

and

for

her

to

love

and

honor

me

as

we

stood

before

that

church

and

as

we

stood

before

God

because

it

comes

more

under

being

the

God

and

just

a

commitment

where

two

people

shake

hands

and

move

on

it's

a

covenant

that is

established

before

him

because

woven

into the

reality

of the

day-to-day

life

of our

marriage

is our

commitment

to one

another

as we've

made a

covenant

before the

Lord

so

biblical

marriage

is of

heavenly

design

of

one

man

and

one

woman

in

commitment

to

one

another

the

third

thing

that

we're

going

to

see

in

understanding

what

is

biblical

marriage

is

in

oneness

in

oneness

therefore

a man

shall leave

his father

and mother

and hold

fast to

his wife

and the

two

shall

become

one

flesh

oneness

I

believe

that

oneness

in

marriage

that

what

Jesus

is

speaking

about

here

is

just

not

in

the

physical

but

it's

in

the

every

aspect

of

our

life

it's

in

the

oneness

the

day

that

I

got

married

is

the

day

that

I

stopped

having

to

think

about

me

solely

and

it

is

the

day

under

surrender

to

the

Lord

that

I

commit

to

not

just

me

but

I

commit

to

we

I

think

the

dirtiest

word

when

it

comes

to

marriage

is

the

word

mine

mine

mine

you

see

in

marriage

I

believe

when

God

brings

us

together

he

brings

us

together

in

one

and

so

the

plan

and

the

purpose

is

not

to

come

together

so

that

we

can

separate

in

our

day

to

day

life

but

it's

the

intermingling

of

souls

so

that

there's

oneness

in

all

things

so

it's

our

home

it's

our

money

it's

our

kids

it's

our

plan

it's

our

future

that

in

this

me

and

mine

get

removed

and

the

we

come

together

I

think

dangerous

things

and

guys

my

marriage

I

am

not

and

what

I'm

about

to

say

you

guys

are

like

but

we

know

I'm

not

the

perfect

husband

I

do

not

have

the

perfect

marriage

but

I

see

warning

signs

of

things

that

have

crept

into

our

marriage

and

I

see

warning

signs

that

creep

into

those

around

us

into

their

marriages

that

seek

to

desire

to

push

and

to

pull

apart

and

they

always

become

where

it's

the

me

and

mine

and

not

the

we

and

ours

so

in

our

house

there

is

not

my

money

and

her

money

there's

not

a

man

cave

and

a

she

shed

where

we

need

to

get

away

from

one

another

there's

not

the

separate

but

there's

the

unified

and

coming

together

church

the

world

does

so

much

to

try

to

split

us

apart

why

do

we

want

to

welcome

and

invite

it

into

our

house

the

fourth

thing

that

we

see

for

Jesus

in

the

design

the

heavenly

design

of

a

biblical

marriage

is

it's

under

the

authority

of

God

it's

under

the

authority

of

God

that

a

biblical

marriage

is not

just

one

man

and

one

woman

but

it's

two

people

coming

before

the

Lord

in

unity

and

commitment

to

him

to

him

as

Lord

and

Savior

of

their

life

and

as

the

Lord

of

their

home

and

so

the

standard

is

set

and

established

the

goal

is

set

and

established

it's

not

under

my

authority

it's

not

under

her

authority

it's

not

under

the

authority

of

the

norms

of

the

culture

of

the

day

it's

under

the

authority

of

God

and

how

many

times

have

I

has

she

been

wrong

and

praise

God

we don't

have

to

return

to

the

opinion

of

a

person

but

under

the

authority

of

God

we

also

see

in

this

biblical

marriages

of

heavenly

design

because

it's

for

life

it's

for

life

so

they

are

no

longer

two

flesh

but

one

verse

six

therefore

what

God

has

joined

together

let

not

man

separate

that

word

separate

it's

divorce

that

what

God

has

brought

together

the

commitment

and

the

covenant

and

the

purpose

and

the

design

is

for

life

so

biblical

marriage

is

of

heavenly

design

but

also

biblical

marriage

is

of

missional

purpose

is

of

missional

purpose

in

Genesis

128

God's

word

says

and

God

blessed

them

back

into

the

creation

God

blessed

them

and

God

said

to

them

be

fruitful

and

multiply

and fill

the

earth

and

subdue

it

and

have

dominion

over

the fish

of the

sea

and

over

the

birds

of

the

heavens

and

over

every

living

thing

that

moves

on

the

earth

so

we

see

from

here

not

only

does

God

give

a

heavenly

design

from

top

down

this

is

how

this

should

be

done

this

is

how

designed

but

now

in

marriage

you

get

purpose

and

God

from

the

very

beginning

says

here's

the

purpose

and

the

plan

for

you

then

I'm

going

to

bless

you

and

I'm

going

to

say

to

you

be

fruitful

and

multiply

and

fill

the

earth

and

subdue

it

that

God's

plan

would

be

that

from

your

marriage

would

become

the

multiplying

process

of

discipleship

not

just

with

one

another

but

with

your

kids

and

to

continue

this

on

and

on

in

his

design

God

says

I

give

you

work

I

give

you

purpose

I

give

you

meaning

in

Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

chapter

6

in

verse

7

it

says

this

about

who

God

is

and

what

God

has

done

and

how

God

is

working

verse

7

says

you

shall

teach

them

diligently

to

your

children

and

you

shall

talk

of

them

when

you

sit

in

your

house

and

when

you

walk

by

the

way

and

when

you

lie

down

and

you

rise

up

the

truth

of

who

God

is

is

what

we

what

in

the

marriage

should

be

teaching

in

the

children

it's

the

continuation

of

what

God

has

called

us

to

do

what

God

has

called

us

to

be

and

what

God

has

taught

us

to

create

in

our

house

I'm

so

grateful

of all

the

things

that