HOW TO BE A WOMAN OF GOD | PASTOR LUKE LEZON

All right. Well, welcome to Key Church,

everybody. How's everyone feeling? We

doing all right?

It is so great to see you and to be here

with you all this morning. I am so

grateful that we're gathered together in

this house. And I'm grateful because

today we are continuing in a collection

of conversations that we began this past

weekend that we are calling divine

desire. And divine desire is a

collection. It's a discussion where

we're really uh living in and we're

learning from the Song of Songs as we're

addressing some controversial things

like dating, marriage, sex, and romance.

And I think what we've come to

understand is that we are facing

substantial relational struggle. And yet

at the same time, the beautiful thing

that we saw last week and will continue

to see is that we have a scriptural

solution. We're living in a culture

right now where regardless of your age

or your relational stage, I think we

understand that people are longing for

committed love and yet they are losing

their confidence in their ability to a

find it, b have it, and c keep it. And

so we recognized last week we're living

in a bizarre historical relational

struggle and that Pew Research had

uncovered some really chilling

statistics. We talked about the fact

that in an investigation that they had

conducted they found that if you go back

60 years in 1965 men and women between

the ages of 25 and 35 8% of those

individuals were married but for every

30 years that you move forward in

history we see that that number would

plummet more than 20%. In 1995, that

number fell uh to 67% and then we saw

that in 2025 that number fell again to

just 44%. And we could easily think,

well, it's probably because people

desire marriage less today than they did

in 1965. And while there might be some

truth to that, the fact of the matter is

there is a major discrepancy between our

desire for marriage and the people that

are actually getting married. It's not

that people desire marriage a whole lot

less. It's that we're struggling in

dating and marriage a whole lot more.

And so we address the fact that that

might be something that's a little bit

more chilling for those that are single

in the room. But even for those of us

that are married in the room, we

recognize that 42% of all couples end up

being divorced. And then another 20%

operate more like sexless roommates

rather than divine teammates that God

has brought together to live and to run

their race on mission for the glory and

the fame of Jesus Christ. And so we

recognized last week that it takes two

to tango. Yes. And so we ended up having

a conversation that was directed at the

men, which I would go ahead and just

please, if you have the time, go back

and watch that message that is up on

YouTube. Otherwise, you're going to hear

what I have to say today, and you're

going to be like, that is not fair. Uh,

but if you go back and watch, you will

be like, we went pretty hard after the

guys. Can I get a witness in here? And

so I think all of us need to know that's

that's feminine applause right there. Uh

just so we're clear. Uh that is all the

ladies that are like yes. And so what we

need to know

is that we find ourselves today uh being

in that same passage. We were in Song of

Song of Solomon 1 · chapter mention

Songs chapter 1 vers1 through 2:7. We're

going to be in that same passage today.

But rather than looking specifically at

the men, today we're going to look

specifically at the women. Last week we

had a conversation called how to be a

man of God in a relational context. This

week we're doing the same, but rather

we're fixated on women in a conversation

we're having called how to be a woman of

God, which is going to be really

interesting because I've never been a

woman. Uh and I don't intend on becoming

one. And I think we find ourselves in

this place where uh honestly you might

be going, "This is this is going to be

fun for all of us. I have lived with a

woman for quite some time. I have

pastored women for quite some time and

to be 100% honest and I am not trying to

be funny here whatsoever uh to be a

woman in this world right now seems

insanely complicated

the chorus of voices that are shouting

at you I mean it is just it's a lot like

even just hearing about it in my own

house I'm like ah I don't like this

there's so much to be said like be a

boss babe no be a trad wife have kids

actually don't be attractive not too

attractive how's sourdough going like

there's a million things that are being

said and I'm just like, "Babe, I don't

need sourdough." She's like, "But the

world says you do. I just I don't I

don't know. I don't I don't need it.

It's fine. It's fine." And what we see

is that we're struggling culturally with

having a shared vision for what even is

a woman? That's a question that's been

floating around. What even is a woman?

And we see that it's creating all of

these issues for women in a relationship

with themselves. But then also not just

romantically but pretty much in every

way with everyone else. I think what we

recognize is that it's creating this

confusion and frustration in the hearts

of our ladies. And I think we need to

recognize we are living and I would say

drowning in fourthwave feminism right

now that if you look back in history,

first-wave feminism not a bad idea.

Women should be equal to men. They

should have equal rights. We are seen as

equals. Yes. Praise God. love that. But

as you keep going, second wave feminism

would be uh women don't need men. And

then third wave was women are better

than men. And now we're in the fourth

wave, which is that men can be women,

which is a fascinating full circle

situation. Um,

so

and that like really like chaotic and

erratic messaging has everybody kind of

panicked a little bit. And I think what

we're seeing is that for young men in

particular, we see that they're

responding in a really inappropriate,

misogynistic way that they start to have

all this disdain towards women, but then

women start to have all this disdain

towards men. And we see that they're

saying that women should basically be

able to be men. And yet at the same

time, men are toxic. And you're just

like, I don't know where to begin with

all of the issues. And so I think what

we need to do today is recognize here uh

that what feels really unclear on a

cultural level is really clear on a

scriptural level. That's the good news.

And so I think what we find is that as

we are recognizing that there's an

immense amount of stress on women today

and there's all of these voices that are

shouting at you, we can listen in

closely and amongst all the shouts,

there's a whisper of God's word that is

going to bring order to the chaos in a

way that allows you to live, thrive, and

flourish as women of God. Uh and so

we're going to be in Song of Songs

Song of Solomon 1 · chapter mention

chapter 1 verse one. Let me say a few

things like I did last week. Okay. Uh

let me say uh this to begin with. Uh,

and this is kind of something that I

think ladies probably need to hear more

than anything. Uh, you know that

whenever uh you go to a men's conference

or there's a message directed towards

men, the message is really um, hey,

you're a loser. Everything you do is

wrong. You've never been good enough.

Live a harder life. Die for your family.

Be forgotten. You are dust and ash,

brother. And you're just like, got it.

Uh, and then women's conferences are

like, you're enough. Go, girl, daughter

of the king. And you're like, "Okay,

okay, okay, okay." Like, I get it. I get

it. Uh, but but can can we just

recognize I think that the women of Key

Church don't need to be coddled into

Christ's image. Uh, I think we can

handle disciplehip in a way that is

passionate, bold, and at the same time

speaks maybe a little bit more tenderly

to you than you would to the fellas. Can

I get a witness? Do we agree on that?

Okay. Uh, so here's the other thing I'm

going to say. Men, same thing. Uh, if

you've never been an amener, not today.

Uh if you've never been shouting me

down, not today. Don't be elbowing your

wife. Don't be doing anything like that.

All right? Let's just be encouraers here

today. Uh and then I think another thing

that I want to say is uh the subject

matter that we're going through today

and last week and really what we're

going to be going through over the

coming weeks uh is unbelievably

scandalous for some people that are in

here that have never heard things like

this discussed in church. Let me tell

you a little bit about leadership and

and and myself by way of that leadership

is that I refuse to have an opinion

about the way that culture, marriage,

and sexuality is going in the world

while failing to disciple people in it

in our pulpits. And so we are going to

talk about hard things that feel

controversial. And if that's something

that's a struggle for you, just know

that's not stopping. I mean that in the

most tender way possible. Okay? We're

going to keep having those

conversations. The other thing that I

want you to know, and I said this uh

this past week, is that I think there

are a lot of women in the room right now

that could be going, "Hey, I I I love

you as my pastor. I trust you to teach

the word of God. I also got to let you

know you're talking about women and

you're a man." And so, I feel like uh

you guys in particular could be thinking

that I'm not thinking about the things

that you're thinking about.

I think the ladies in the room are like,

"Hey, this is all good and well, but I

think that you're not thinking about the

things that I'm thinking about." What I

want you to know is that I am thinking

about the things that you're thinking

about in this way. Every message that I

am preaching has been run through a

couple of different uh groups of people.

This one in particular, it's being run

by the elder team to make sure that

nothing is crazy out there. Uh the other

thing is that for this particular

message on Thursday morning I convened a

group of ladies about 20 of them. I

selected a few of them. Ronda Felman

selected most of them that sat in as I

preached this message to them and I

welcomed feedback after each point to

make sure that it was something that was

fair, good, and truth. So that's what

we've got going on today. So okay,

ladies are like, "Oh, thank the Lord."

Okay. So, let's uh

Song of Songs, chapter 1, verse one.

Song of Solomon 1 · chapter mention

Y'all ready for the word?

>> Says this, "The Song of Songs, which is

Solomon's, the woman says,"Oh, that he

would kiss me with the kisses of his

mouth. For your caresses are more

delightful than wine. The fragrance of

your perfume is intoxicating. Your name

is perfume poured out. No wonder, young

women adore you. Take me with you. Let's

hurry. Oh, that the king would bring me

to his chambers." Her friends say, "We

will rejoice and be glad in you. We'll

celebrate your caresses more than wine.

The woman responds and says, "It's only

right that they adore you. Daughters of

Jerusalem, I am dark like the tents of

Qar, yet lovely like the curtains of

Solomon. Do not stare at me because I am

dark, for the sun has gazed on me. My

mother's sons were angry with me. They

made me take care of the vineyards. I

have not taken care of my own vineyard."

Tell me, you whom I love, where do you

pasture your sheep? Where do you let

them rest at noon? Why should I be like

one who veils herself beside the flocks

of your companions? The man says, "If

you do not know, most beautiful of

women, follow the tracks of the flock

and pasture your young goats near the

shepherd's tents. I compare you, my

darling, to a mayor among Pharaoh's

chariots. Your cheeks are beautiful with

jewelry, your neck with its necklace.

We'll make gold jewelry for you,

accented with silver." The woman says,

"While the king is on his couch, my

perfume releases its fragrance. The one

I love is a sache of myrr to me,

spending the night between my breasts.

The one I love is a cluster of henna

blossoms to me in the vineyards of

Engeti. The man says, "How beautiful you

are, my darling. How very beautiful.

Your eyes are doves." And the woman

says, 'How handsome you are, my love.

How delightful! Our bed is verdant. The

beams of our house are cedars, and our

rafters are cypresses. I am a wild

flower of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.

To which the man says, "Liy, like a lily

among thorns, so is my darling among the

young women." And the woman responds,

"Like an apricot tree among the trees of

the forest, so is my love among the

young men. I delight to sit in his

shade, and his fruit is sweet to my

taste. He brought me to the banquet hall

and he looked on me with love. Sustain

me with raisins. Refresh me with

apricots for I am lovesick. May his left

hand be under my head and his right arm

embrace me. Young women of Jerusalem, I

charge you by the gazels and wild doze

of the field. Do not stir up or awaken

love until the appropriate time. Let's

pray together.

Uh well Lord, grateful that we can have

a conversation that could be a little

bit difficult as a church. So Lord,

grateful for u you and what you've laid

out in your word, knowing the things

that were going to be difficult for us.

And so, Father, for any of us that are

feeling uh like we're under the weight

of pressure and shame, I ask that you

would remove that, Lord, and that you

would replace it with conviction under

your word and guidance by your spirit

that we might not shame ourselves into

becoming different, but rather, Lord,

that we would recognize who it is that

you are, what it is that you've done for

us, and how it is that we can model that

for each other in our marriages. God

give us guidance and sustain us for the

journey ahead. Lord, we love you. We

praise you. We ask these things in Jesus

name. Amen.

>> Well, just by way of a little bit of a

recap, if you go back and you look at

the first verse, it says the Song of

Songs, which is Solomon's. And we know

that Song of Songs is Hebrew idiom or

superlative that to see the repetition

of a thing means the emphasis of a

thing. So you look at Song of Songs and

you can recognize there's other

instances where we see things like that

with Holy of Holies, King of Kings, Lord

of Lords, that it was a way of saying

this is the best and the ultimate of a

thing, the best or the ultimate king or

Lord over all others that have ever held

that title. And we see the same thing is

being said here of this song that this

is the best and ultimate song, the Song

of Songs, which is significant because

we know that Solomon had the opportunity

to ask God for anything. And what he

asked for is wisdom. And so asking God

for wisdom pleased God. And we see that

God God ended up giving Solomon wisdom

unlike the wisdom that anyone else has

received before or since outside of

obviously Jesus Christ walking on this

earth. And with that wisdom, what did

Solomon do? He wrote more than 3,000

proverbs and 1,05 songs. And this one is

considered to be the best of all of

them. And so King Solomon falls in love

with a woman that's described as the

Schulomite woman. And they sing songs

back and forth. and we see that they're

in love. And in this we see that there's

a breakdown of who talks that could be

understood this way. 37% of the time the

man will speak. 55% of the time the

woman will speak because scripture

reflects life. We see that 7% of the

time that the woman's friends will speak

because scripture reflects life. And we

see that just one time here or we see

that God is going to audibly speak up

and it's going to be at the consummation

of the marriage. Amazing. And so as we

move into this first point, I have four

of them for the ladies like I had four

with the men. Uh let me just say

something before I say my first and

probably most controversial point. Uh

it's this that there are many of you uh

that maybe are in a situation where

quite honestly your man is not living a

life or is not staying in step with the

spirit. He is not doing the things that

would indicate that you are someone that

wants to do what it is that we're about

to talk about here. Uh, and so I fully

understand that there could be

extenduating circumstances that make

this first point difficult for you in

that way that your man is not

necessarily someone who is walking out

faith or treating you well. The other

thing that I want to recognize is that

there are some of you that because of

certain medical conditions, this could

be something that is outside of your

purview or possibility. And and so just

know I am thinking about all of the

things that might be going on in your

world, but because of time constraints,

we're speaking to the majority rather

than all of the different groups that we

don't have time to speak entirely to in

every way. Does that make sense? And so

the first point that I want to make here

is this, that a woman of God is an

intimacy initiator with her husband, not

an intimacy barrier to her husband.

Could hear a pin drop. Great. Uh, okay.

Let's look at that FROM THE TEXT. AH,

OKAY. VERSE TWO, IT SAYS THIS. UH, the

woman says, "Oh, that he would kiss me

with the kisses of his mouth." That's

what she says. "Oh, that he would kiss

me with the kisses of his mouth." Hey,

can I say something to you ladies,

specifically you single ladies,

boyfriends don't get husband privileges.

I I think we need to understand here

that as we're looking at this,

boyfriends don't get husband privileges.

Notice that I said she is an intimacy

initiator with her husband, not her

boyfriend. Not wannabe husband, could be

husband, used to be husband, husband in

my heart, not any of those things, but

rather with her husband that we

recognize. This is the same woman who

later on will say, "Do not awake in love

until the appropriate time." which is

her saying to her friends, hey, do not

give your body, ladies, to a man holy

and sexually if he is not first

consecrating himself entirely to you.

You don't want to live like that. So,

boyfriends don't get husband privileges

because casual commitments don't earn

covenant access.

There are a lot of you that might be in

here that have young girls or you are a

younger girl and you're desiring

marriage and you're with some guy that's

pressuring you or culture is pressuring

you to have sex. And when he's like,

"Hey, come on. let's just have sex

again. Like, we're going to get married

anyway. Next time, instead of being

like, "Okay, we'll have sex," say,

"Okay, then why don't you propose?

We're going to get married anyway,

right?" Or if you really want to see a

man become a boy, tell him you're

pregnant and see how he handles that.

So, um,

that was one of those like, should I say

it? I did. Uh so

but notice she initiates. Oh that he

would kiss me with the kisses of his

mouth. Which is interesting because uh

ladies, we notice she's on offense, not

on defense. Are you picking up what I'm

putting down there? uh from what I've

heard hypothetically speaking, not

anything that I know out of experience,

but hypothetically speaking, uh is that

from what I've heard uh from a lot of

other people is that the man can often

be on offense trying to score and that

the woman, the wife can often be on

defense and is not necessarily as

interested as often as that man is

trying to score. And so I think

sometimes we recognize that the man can

be on offense trying to see, hey, what

what could go down here? And as he does,

it can kind of be met with, "Not

tonight. Maybe tomorrow. It's too early.

It's too late. I have a headache."

Whatever it is.

And notice

that she's saying, "Hey, um, while you

might have higher drive and desire than

I do, it's not like I don't." And she's

verbal in communicating that to him. And

then we see that she moves towards him

as well. Notice this that in verse two,

she says, "For your caresses are more

delightful than wine." We see that

there's a switch in the pronoun there.

She says that there's verbal desire

here. You notice that she's making it

known to him. Let him kiss me with the

kisses of his mouth. And now we see that

she's saying, "Your caresses are more

delightful than wine." That she has made

her desire for him known. But now she's

actually drawn towards him. And notice

here ladies, she extends the invitation

by making it clear to him, hey, I would

love to make this thing happen tonight.

But at the same time, she doesn't

determine direction. She initiates by

extending the invitation. She does not

determine the direction from there. It

is on him to actually see this thing

cross home plate if you know what I'm

saying. And so we see that she's making

it clear. Hey, I want you. Now, there

could be some of you in here that are

just like you're a contrarian. Uh and

you're like, well, Luke, I mean,

we're hardly talking about sexual

intercourse here. I mean, gez, like

she's asking for a kiss. And I would

say, well, okay, well, number one,

you're not very fun. Number two, uh, is

that if you look at verse 13,

if you look at verse 13, then explain

this to me where she says, "The one I

love is a sache of murder me spending

the night between my breasts." I don't

know what that means in your world.

Not looking not looking this way. I

don't know what that means in your

world.

But you don't just have to take my word

for it. Oh, we're going to get there as

we keep reading the book.

But here's what you got to understand.

This book is scandalous. It is. And so

it's going to make you feel like, "Oh

man, I can't believe they're saying

this." It's how many ancients felt. Even

biblical interpreters, a lot of them

tried to not make this a picture of

marriage, but an allegorical

interpretation of Jesus in the church.

And I got to tell you, one of the

funnier things that I read in my prep

for this is that there was one uh old

commentator where you could just feel

the Baptist in him panicking about this.

And he was just like, uh, well, I think

the way that we could interpret this,

hypothetically speaking, is that, well,

well, I guess I guess the way you could

interpret it is that one breast is the

Old Testament, the other is the New, and

Jesus is in the middle. And I was like,

I mean,

love your heart, buddy, but like I don't

I don't know. Uh and and and that's a

that's a weird thing to say because a

myrr on a contextual level uh is just

gum from an Arabian balsom tree. It

would release a fragrance. It was really

expensive. But if you were a woman of

means, you could wear it around your

neck in an aromatic necklace that would

run on a silk thread. And so notice this

woman's initiating on several different

levels. First, we notice that she's

saying, "Hey, I'm initiating in the

sense that I do desire you on an

emotional level, near and dear to my

heart right here." But then also, we

notice that she is initiating on a

physical level. She's also saying, and

don't get it twisted, wouldn't mind if

you spend some time right here. And so

as we see that she's saying those things

which absolutely can go together. You'll

notice that the woman goes on and men

this is important for us. She says the

fragrance of your perfume is

intoxicating. Your name is perfume

poured out. No wonder young women adore

you. Take me with you. Let's hurry. Oh

that the king would bring me to his

chambers. His chambers can absolutely be

translated here as bed chambers. But

notice this. Uh she wants to be alone

with him. And this will move towards

intimacy. But the only reason that she

wants that and is initiating and is

doing this at all is because she trusts

the man's character.

This is a good man. We talked about it

last week. He's carrying himself well.

We understand that that as you walk into

this text, it's not just like, well, I

guess I guess I should because I'm

married to this guy, but rather he's

carrying himself in a godly way. He's

admirable, desirable. And so she says, I

desire you because of those things. And

so he's opened up on an emotional level.

Even see that men. So like some of you

this past week, you tried to open up

emotionally and you're just like, I'm

going to open up emotionally. Uh I'm

going to send my wife a couple heart

emojis and see how that goes. Uh and

it's like no. Uh you need to like say

with words how you appreciate her.

Actually walk through this thing. All

right. She's chosen a good man, but

she's also chosen good friends. That's

the second point. A woman of God chooses

her friends wisely. Look at what it says

here. It says, "The woman goes, "No

wonder, young women adore you." And then

her friends say, "We'll rejoice and be

glad in you. We will celebrate your

caresses more than wine." And the

Shulamite woman would respond, "It's

only right that they adore you." Um, so

she's selected good friends that are

witnessing this relationship and the

character that's involved, namely by

this man. And you notice she has not

been getting to know this guy and now

step towards marriage with this guy in

isolation but with communal

participation that we see here her

friends adore this man not in a weird

way but where they're confirming their

friend's choice and I think we need to

address several groups of people here uh

right now with this and and notice here

like single ladies single ladies we have

a massive cultural issue in the way that

we're going about relationships. The

Spice Girls were indeed prophetic when

they said, "If you want to be my lover,

you got to get with my

>> friends."

>> Friends. Can I tell you that's the way

it should be. That's the way it should

be on some level. But often times, what

we see is that we've moved dating to

this thing that we do in isolation

rather than with communal participation.

And as a result, we see that you'll end

up getting with some man that will end

up isolating you away from people that

you've loved and trusted your whole

life. And can I tell you that if they do

that, that's a man that probably is

someone you shouldn't be loving and

certainly shouldn't be trusting. I'll

tell you, the first time that I ever met

Lindsay, you know, we had been texting

and on the phone all the time and it was

just all like things like you hang up.

No, you hang up, right? You know, all

the stuff.

And she was like, "Hey, I'd love to meet

up with you." And I was just like,

"Great." And she was like, "Can you meet

me at this Applebee's?" Cuz nothing

says, "Let our love blossom like a bloom

and onion." And I was like, "Yeah, I'll

be there." And so I showed up and when I

showed up it was her but like 30 of her

friends from church

and I was like

h this this is going to be more

difficult than I thought. And then I

thought and it should be.

So her friends could watch. Does he just

try to steal her away? Ignore us

completely? Is he kind to the waitress?

Is he kind to us? Does he ask us

questions about our life? Is he just

interested in whatever it is that he can

get out of this girl? Is he a serial

killer? Like, are things good with this

man? We just don't know. We need to

evaluate him. That there was wisdom in

doing that. And single ladies, you often

times can get infatuated with a man who

knows all of the right things to say.

Listen, every man in here was but soft.

What light? Three yonder window breaks.

And then all of a sudden it becomes

something else. Like they know what to

say. You move to isolation. And on the

other side of it, even maybe after you

get into marriage, you feel manipulation

and devastation. But a man with good

character understands character welcomes

witnesses. Manipulation tries to remove

them. Manipulation tries to remove them.

Married ladies, notice something else

here. Notice that we can find ourselves

in some interesting situations as well

because you'll notice that her friends

say, "We'll rejoice and be glad in you."

not we're going to be jealous and talk

bad on y'all.

Let me ask you, who are your friends? Do

they abide in Christ? What do their

marriages look like? Are you taking

advice from someone whose life you

actually have no interest in living a

life like? What does that look like for

you? How do they talk to you about other

people, about friends, about your

friends, about you, about their husband,

about your husband? Notice that the

Shulamite woman has this group of ladies

that are building, encouraging,

strengthening her marriage here. I think

we recognize that oftentimes, ladies,

you might hypothetically get into

circles of friends that spend more time

breaking down your husbands than

building up your marriages. And a good

friend of yours is not someone that's

going to listen to you complaining and

gossiping and affirming every feeling

that you have. They're more willing to

wound your pride than to wound your

marriage. Now, don't hear something I'm

not saying. When I say that, I know that

there could be some women in here where

you're in a dangerous situation of some

sort. And all that you're panicking

about hearing me say right now is that

you can't say what's going on in your

life. Not saying that at all. You tell

whoever you need to tell me, elders,

pastors, whoever that needs to be, a

friend. But I'm just saying by and

large, ladies, we know that our

friendships can be a source of great

difficulty as much as helping things

flourish. And it's funny, uh, if you go

and look more at Proverbs, Proverbsap

27:6 says, "The wounds of a friend are

trustworthy and the kisses of an enemy

are excessive." Which a lot of times we

think that I messed that up. I didn't

say that the kisses of a friend are

trustworthy, but the wounds of an enemy

are excessive. I said that the wounds of

a friend are trustworthy and the kisses

of an enemy are excessive. Why is that

significant? Because we're living in a

time right now where we feel like we

want friends who are going to woo us

even if we're wrong rather than wound us

that we might be made right and look

more like Christ. Many of us that are in

here have contemplated leaving faithful

friendships, even churches, because they

had the courage to tell us the truth.

And I think often times the friends that

we label as toxic are actually the ones

that are the most truthful. But honesty

feels like toxicity in a world that

hates the truth. Honesty feels like

toxicity in a world that hates the

truth. Good friends are individuals that

are going to be able to listen to your

frustrations but encourage your union.

Listen to your frustration and yet at

the same time they're going to be able

to make sure that you are encouraged in

being encouraging rather than nagging.

Which in scripture the opposite of

encouraging is not necessarily

discouraging. It's nagging. And God is

real intense on nagging. So don't shoot

the messenger with what I'm about to

read to you.

This is holy scripture

from a holy God in whom I had no say

with what it is that he wrote. But I

believe it and trust it wholeheartedly.

So,

Proverbs 21:es 9 and 19 says this,

"Better to live on the corner of a roof

than to share a house with a nagging

wife."

It gets better.

Better to live in a wilderness

than with a nagging

and hot-tempered wife.

So, uh, you know, like,

uh, the corner of a roof is not a fun

place to live. It's small, confined,

exposed, uncovered to all of the

elements and the weather.

Furthermore is that there are historical

records of the way that homes were built

in this time and in this region of the

world. They had a flat roof. Often

times, there were animals that belonged

to a family or were roaming around and

they would leave their droppings just

kind of wherever they please. oftentimes

that was thrown onto the roof so that

the smell would be above people rather

than on their level. And so what we see

is that he's saying, "I would rather

sleep in poop than not have peace with

this woman."

He continues and he says, "I was in the

house. I got on the house and now I fled

the house and now he's in the

wilderness, which the ancients

understood is where you go to die." He

said, "I'd rather die than be with this

woman right now." And some of you are

like, "Who, buddy?" And I'm just here to

tell you that Proverbs 27:15 says, "An

Proverbs 27:15

endless dripping on a rainy day and a

nagging wife are alike." And some of the

ladies in here are like, "Well, what's

so wrong with the drop here and there?

What's wrong with that?" And and it's

not a torrential downpour. It could be

so much worse. And what I would say to

you is you do understand that the

dripping, the constant dripping of water

on an individual is a means of

psychological torture that's been used

for centuries. It creates anxiousness.

It disrupts sleep. It erodess peace. And

so what we see that's happening here is

that even the most hardened and

disciplined men in all of human history

have revealed national secrets and have

crumbled over the steady dripping of

water on them. And so, just let me ask

you ladies,

what does that look like? Are we

constantly fact-checking him? Are we

only focused on negatives, never on

positives? Are we comparing him to other

men?

How was your day, babe? Oh, you know.

Yeah. You know,

Jennifer

got Alexis. So, um Oh, did you see that?

Did you see Did you see Jennifer got

Alexis? No, I didn't see that. Uh, did

you maybe make enough money to get

Alexis today? How'd your day go? Like,

what did that like

Let me let me be clear, men. Here's

what's not nagging

is when your wife asks you to take the

trash out. That's not nagging. Okay,

feminine applause. Uh, like

that's not nagging. Tasks that must

happen for the functioning of the

family. Now, she she could ask it in a

real passive aggressive way.

Not that I know this,

you know,

she could be like, "Uh,

guess who didn't take the trash out?"

Wasn't me. And there's only two of us.

Which by process of elimination means

loser. Like, I mean, you know,

it's not it's not just what you say. A

lot of it's how you say it, right?

Third thing that we see a woman of God

does is that she has humble confidence

in who she is and she's comfortable with

who she's not. She's confident in who

she is. She's comfortable with who she's

not. Look at verse 5. The woman says,

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I am dark like

the tents of Khadar, yet lovely like the

curtains of Solomon." Which is

interesting. She says, "I'm dark." And

then she says, "How?" Uh she says, "The

tents of Khadar." which is kind of

interesting because that was a Bedawin

tribe that lived and traveled in the

wilderness and they would make tents out

of dark and coarse goat hair. So, what

she's saying is is that these are tents

that would have to be uh made to make

sure that they can withstand sand and

wind and weather. And she's saying,

"Hey, I need you to understand

something. My skin is dark and a little

tough because I've spent a lot of time

outside." And it's interesting though

that she'll juxtapose that with the

complete and total antithesis of what we

see the tents of Khadar would be. She

says and yet lovely like the curtains of

Solomon which would have been found in

the palace, lush, silky, smooth, all of

those things. And so you notice here

she's saying I'm dark and desirable. And

she says, "My skin's tough and like a

treasure." Now, full disclosure, the

first time that I read this, I wondered

if she was making a racial statement by

saying that her skin is dark. And and

the truth of the matter is what she's

going to say is while certainly her skin

would have been darker where she lived

than my skin is. Uh she's saying

something else as you continue looking

at verse six. You notice that she'll

say, "Do not stare at me because I'm

dark. The sun has gazed on me. My

mother's sons were angry with me. They

made me take care of the vineyards and I

have not taken care of my own vineyard."

So we have a Cinderella situation that's

going on right here. You notice uh

there's serious family drama going on

because she says that her brothers are

angry at her, but she doesn't say my

brothers, she says my mother's sons.

So like that'd be a weird way to address

someone that you have direct relation

to. Like if your mom was frustrating you

to be like my grandfather's daughters

drive me insane. Like that would be

crazy. Uh but we do it all the time with

like our kids, right? Like when you want

to put distance between the child that

you helped create and how they're

acting, you say your son, your daughter,

what's going on? Like that's what's

going on here. there's some family

drama. You're saying, "This ain't me.

This is you." And so, she's saying,

"Hey, we've got some drama going on."

And she even demonstrates it through

some word play. She says, "Hey, uh, my

son's uh, my mother's son's anger burned

against me." And so, I'm outside and the

sun's also burning against me, that the

sun is gazed on me. I I've been burned

and I'm being burned. And so, you notice

here that she'll say, "While taking care

of the vineyards, I have not been able

to care for my own." uh which is her

pretty much saying, "Hey, um her body

will often be referred to as a vineyard

uh not just by her, but by Solomon as

well as we move through this text

together." But you'll notice here u that

she's pretty much saying, "Hey, the king

is marrying a bluecollar girl. I'm not

like the city girls. Uh I'm different. I

know what it looks like to work and I've

been outside." And so she's unbelievably

aware, ladies, of her appearance. She's

unbelievably aware of her appearance and

particularly you notice it with her skin

which was a cultural thing. Uh you'll

recognize that if any of you have done

an Esther Bible study which I feel like

every woman that's been in church for

like tennis years has done an Esther

Bible study. Uh and you recognize that

Esther was a part of this herum of women

that a pagan king would gather together

in order to evaluate for marriage. And

what are one of the things that that

pagan king is looking for is skin care.

you notice that for six months he'll say

uh have you been dealing with oils and

my on your skin and then he'll say also

by the way have you gone through another

six months of treatment with cosmetics

and perfumes that this is something they

cared about a great deal and can I just

say I think we all recognize we have a

beauty standard in our day yes there's a

beauty standard in our day and in our

culture um darker is considered

beautiful tanned and toned it's

completely different than the way things

were back then that that was out to be

uh darker in toned would have indicated

that actually um you're of a peasant

class because that meant that you were

doing manual labor outside. You weren't

necessarily emaciated or anything like

that, but you had a wiry strength to you

because you've been doing that manual

labor. And even if you look at

Renaissance art, you can evaluate and

see uh that's not the way that people

saw beauty back in the day. That back in

the day, beauty was considered to be uh

pale and plump. Uh, so you know, I mean,

you look at all these like figures in

Renaissance art and you recognize, oh,

that's completely different than what we

would probably hope to be painted like

today. And so you recognize here, um,

that there's a difference. And by the

way, that's what she's doing. She she's

saying, "Hey, I I need you to know, man,

like there's a way that people think of

women as being beautiful, and I don't

hit every mark in that regard." She's

saying, "But do not disregard how I am.

I'm delightful." She's got confidence in

who she is and she's comfortable with

who she's not. And she says,"I know the

differences between the way that I look

and how society says that I should look

as a woman and I need you to know I'm

unwilling to be defined by those

standards." She's doing something

interesting, lady. She's resisting image

obsession.

Image obsession is often insecurity with

good lighting. And what she's doing here

is she's saying, "Hey, I need you to

understand that I am someone that's not

interested in living like a curated

self, but rather I'm interested in

making sure that you understand how I've

carried myself. I'm settled in who I am.

I'm assured of what I bring to the

table. You're lucky, bro. Good for you."

That's what she's saying. It's

interesting. As I was preparing this

conversation, uh, I ended up stumbling

across, uh, this video of Kate Winslett,

the famous actress who's been in a

myriad of different things, probably

most notably Titanic. Uh, and you

recognize she's unbelievably famous for

all the work that she's done. She's

starting to become more famous for what

it is that she's saying, uh, in the way

that we're talking about women and

beauty, and in particular, she's

becoming famous for the fact that she's

never done anything to her body to

change it. And so she ended up saying

this, "Looking like a normal person,

having a face that moves, having all the

wrinkles that my 50 years hopefully

show, that matters a great deal to me

because I want to lead by example. I

want young women to look at my body and

my face and go, "Oh, that's a normal

one."

You can nip, tuck, do whatever. Time and

gravity win. They win. And so you can

say, 'Hey, I'm real confident in how

God's made me, but everything that

you're doing is indicating it's not so.

And she says,"I confident in who I am."

Now, I think it needs to be said that

caring for ourselves is pivotal. It's

not just like, "So, I'm just going to do

whatever and I don't care about my

body." No, it's scriptural that we take

care of our bodies. But I think we

recognize there are some things that we

don't have control over that we can

fight against. But it is a fight that

you will lose. Now, before I get into

too deep of waters talking about these

things, let me just go ahead and point

this back at myself. You know, it's

interesting. Uh my wife Lindsay and I,

we were walking on a stroller walk,

trying to maintain sanity with our

children. Uh and as we were on this

walk, the sun was out and she just kind

of looked over my way and she was like,

"Oof." And I was like, "What does that

mean?"

She's like, "Oh boy, you're getting

gray." I was like, "I'm 53." you know,

like I mean,

and she was like, just kind of

flippantly, we had this very quick

exchange where she was like, "Would you

ever dye your hair?" And I was like,

"No,

honey. I earned this."

Which is just Proverbs 16:31. Gray hair

Proverbs 16:31

is a glorious crown. So, take it or

leave it. But,

uh, c can I say something to you

specifically to the ladies? I could say

it to everyone, but specifically to the

ladies. We're living at a time right now

where you have learned to demonize the

very marks of evidence that God has been

at work within your body. You are

learning to demonize

the evidence, the marks that God has

been at work within your body. Aging,

gray hair, postpartum wrinkles, stretch

marks, all the things that we demonize.

We notice that we need to be careful

before we curse our bodies that the Lord

gave you and that has carried a lot of

difficult things. So, well, be careful

before you curse your body. You look at

verse 7 and you'll see that this woman

will say, "Tell me, you whom I love,

where do you pasture your sheep? Where

do you let them rest at noon? Why should

I be like one who veils herself beside

the flocks of your companions?" What

she's saying is, "Hey, I kind of want to

be around wherever you're going to be

around." Uh so whether you're married or

single, uh you've probably found

yourself in a place where you did this

at one point or maybe you're doing this

now where there's a guy that you're kind

of interested and you kind of know where

he likes to hang out and you kind of

want to find yourself around there at

the same time that he's there, right? Or

you just find out, oh, okay, like you,

you know, you don't have goats and he

doesn't have a pasture that you're

trying to bring the goats to the

pasture, but you're like, he likes that

coffee shop

about what time.

What are you doing here? And he's like,

don't you live an hour away? And she's

like, "Didn't even notice. That's

interesting. Good to see you." Like, you

know, she's like, "What's going on?"

She's like, "I WANT TO BE AROUND YOU. I

want to be pursued by you." Hey, man. I

might happen to be here tomorrow at the

same time. Will you be? Nope. Oh, I'm

busy. Can't make it either. But like,

that's what's going on here. Notice

that. But then she says, "Why should I

be like one who's veiled?" She She's

saying, "I'm not going to be like uh the

prostitutes, which are the ones who veil

themselves."

She's saying to this guy, "Hey, man. I'm

not one of those girls. Uh it's not that

I'm just interested in you so you can

have all of me. She's saying I'm

interested in you, but you got to fall

in love with who I am, my character, not

my cleavage.

And let me just ask you ladies, does

your faith and your feed line up with

what it is that you're saying you want?

Because the truth of the matter is, you

can get a lot of attention from men that

are interested in how it is that you're

revealing parts of your body. and you

will get attention. It will be the

affirmation of image obsession. But you

got to ask yourself, what kind of man is

responding to this? Is that the kind of

man that I want to link my life to?

Because can I tell you, the way that you

catch them is often how you're going to

have to keep them. And if they're overly

fixated on your looks, your body, then

you're going to feel an immense amount

of pressure to make sure that things

always stay that way. And by the way,

he'll have a wandering eye.

And I think you need to understand that

you were bought at a price. That 1

1 Corinthians 6:20

Corinthians 6:20 would say that you were

bought at a price. And your value is not

based on what a man thinks about your

body. It's based upon what Jesus Christ

did with his body where he sacrificed it

all to have all of you and say you do

not have to go fishing for attention in

a world filled with men that only want

parts of you, but rather you can know

that I have paid it all to have all of

you and I've got better for you than

this guy

>> for sure. And so we see that as you move

forward, there's the fourth and final

thing that we'll bring up and it's this.

It's that a woman of God honors and

respects her husband. Everybody knew

this one was going to happen, right? You

see that in Song of Songs verses one uh

chapter 1:es 8 through13. I could go

through and read all of them. I'm

actually not going to do it because

we're not going to unpack them. Many of

those you can go back last week and

listen to the message and we went

through them there. Uh but you'll notice

that as we move all the way to verse 14,

the woman will say, "The one I love is a

cluster of henna blossoms to me in the

vineyards of Engeti." Uh, which by the

way, uh, men, you need to recognize that

I hope after talking about what

providing in Getty for your wife looks

like last week that you've done that.

Ladies, how has that gone?

Oh,

really?

Oh, man.

They got time. They got time. All right.

Listen, dudes. We're going to talk about

what Inggetetti looks like for you, but

can I just tell you, if you ain't doing

your part, she ain't going to do hers.

got to step it up.

Otherwise, you're going to be like,

"Hey, baby. Where's Engeti?" And she's

going to be like, "Enty off me, bro. I

don't want to talk to you right now.

I don't want you. Get out of here."

And Geti was an oasis. Still is an oasis

on the western shore of the Dead Sea

where it is not compatible with life in

this region of the world. In this

particular sea, you see that life is

teeming and thriving in Engeti where you

see that there are waterfalls and

springs. You see that there's vegetation

and lushness, cliffs and caves that King

David would hide there when King Saul's

trying to kill him. And so we see that

this is a place of of retreat and

nourishment. And so, uh, let me just ask

you ladies, how are you providing that?

There's an obvious way that I'm not

going to mention, but I think outside of

that, uh, think about how is it that

you're communicating with him? Whether

you stay at home or go to work, whenever

you're together or you go your separate

ways, how does communication look? Is it

constantly berating and saying, "Hey,

you need to do these things when you get

home and tasks and lists and stuff and

and whatever, which aren't always bad."

Or are there some things laced in there

that could potentially be things like,

"Hey, I'm I'm missing you. I I'm

thinking about you today. I appreciate

everything that you do for us and for

our family that demonstrate honor and

respect for him." What does that look

like? A and I think the truth of the

matter is that there's a massive issue

in our communication because uh as men

and women we have different levels of

drifting and gravitation. What it is

that we drift and gravitate towards. So

I'm going to speak uh in gender

stereotypes here because I don't have

time to make everybody feel good about

themselves. But uh I think we need to

understand uh that we drift towards

different things. Ladies, men really

like things that they can do where

they're doing well and leading well

where they demonstrate competence and

effectiveness. And often times that's in

their profession that there are things

that I need to do. There's things that I

can do well. As I do those things well,

I'm able to lead at a higher level. They

love that kind of stuff. But at the same

time, we talked about last week, you are

not one fleshman with your profession.

And ladies, what I would gently and

tenderly say to you is that often times

you like to be in places where there's

deep emotional connection and where you

feel need on that level. And so I think

often times you will end up gravitating

towards and prioritizing your children

over your husband.

Prioritizing your children over your

husband. And and you know it's

interesting. I think there's a marital

marker that we miss very easily. Uh

having pastored I feel like every

generation it's so fascinating how we

all are trying to build the family unit

both of us men and women. And so often

times for men it looks like they're

saying, "Hey, I'm I'm trying to work and

provide and do all the things that we

need to do so that we can live our

life." And the wife can be like, "Well,

I'm trying to do everything that I need

to do." Whether that's working some or

I'm just trying to take care of the

kids, make sure that you can focus. Do

all of the things that you need to do.

We're trying to build things up for the

family unit. We're trying to make it

good. We're trying to make it right.

Oftentimes, we're doing this in the name

of giving our kids a brighter future.

Can I tell you after talking to a lot of

your kids, the truth of the matter is

that to give someone a brighter future

is something that we're probably overly

concerned about and we're probably

underconcerned with giving them a

beautiful past.

There's not a single kid that loves

whatever trust fund you're working

towards or car or h whatever thing that

you have a house with the pool whatever

it is that you think that is going to be

so grateful for that that they're also

really grateful for their broken past.

The greatest gift that you can give your

kids by every statistic known to man is

to give them the gift of seeing that mom

and dad love each other.

To give them a good marriage.

And I realize that for many of you in

here, you feel like, man, I I missed

that. I messed that up. I didn't do

that. You're not beyond the grace and

redemption of Jesus Christ. You're not.

But the truth of the matter, it's the

best gift that you can give your kids.

And so, ladies, are you prioritizing

him? Let him lead. Guard the calendar.

Lean into him emotionally. It's not all

sexual for men. I know that that's the

easy joke to make and I've made it. But

I think the truth of the matter is that

there is an emotional lean as well.

Listen, if my wife texts me something

like, "I believe in you and I trust

you." I'm just like, "Where's the

nearest wall that I could run through?"

Like, cuz that's the way that we feel.

To be believed in, I say it at every

wedding. to be believed in by you is a

game changer. It's a gamecher. Speak

well of him. Speak well of him. In verse

15, the man says, "How beautiful you

are, my darling. How very beautiful.

Your eyes are like doves." And she

responds, "How handsome you are, my

love. How delightful. Our bed is

verdant. The beams of our house are

cedars and our rafters are cypresses."

And just for the sake of being

transparent about what a lot of people

interpret this to mean, but I don't

think this is necessarily the truth. Uh

there's a lot of commentators that

believe that at this point they've moved

outside and they're having sex outside.

Uh I don't actually think that's the

case when you read what's going on here.

Beams, cedars, plants, cypresses, all of

these beautiful things can be found in

the palace, be found in this place. And

so I think that's what we have going on.

And she's saying, "Hey, I really

appreciate your provision here." And as

you look at verse uh 1 through three in

chapter 2, the man and the woman have

this exchange where the woman says, "I'm

a wild flower of Sharon, a lily of the

valleys." And the man says, "Like a lily

among thorns, so is my darling among

young women." She'll demonstrate that

she's got a little bit of insecurity

about the way that she looks. She's not

going to be defined by it. Not going to

change everything for his liking. And

yet at the same time, she appreciates

the reassurance from her man. And we see

that he will say that he finds her

beautiful. And she'll respond by saying,

"Like an apricot tree among the trees of

the forest, so is my love among the

young men. I delight to sit in his

shade." Which felt like a good place to

end with something even more

controversial. and talk about submission

because why not? Uh and it's

interesting. Ephesians 5:22, ladies, it

Ephesians 5:22

says this uh wives submit to your

husbands as to the Lord because the

husband is the head of the wife as

Christ is the head of the church. Any

ladies with Ephesians 5:22 tattooed on

Ephesians 5:22

them? No. Not a popular one. Just didn't

know. Yeah, you might have an outlier

out there.

This isn't the favorite verse.

And I think there's an entire

conversation. We'll go through Ephesians

at some point as a church. There's an

entire conversation that we'll have

around this particular verse. But uh the

truth of the matter is with the limited

time that we have. I I do want to say

this. There is an obvious biological and

theological difference in the roles that

men and women are meant to play on some

level. There's an obvious difference. I

joke about this uh in my own house. Um

I'll say it right now even though my

wife might tell me not to say it the

next one. Uh but um I've never met a

feminist on a sinking ship.

I've never met a feminist when someone

breaks into the house in the middle of

the night.

I I can assure you if the glass shatters

at three, my wife's not going to go, "Is

that a is that a me thing? Is that a you

thing? I just want this to be equal. I

just don't know." SHE'S GOING TO BE,

"GET OUT THERE AND DIE FOR THE FAMILY,

SON. I'LL GET THE KIDS. WHERE'S THE LIFE

INSURANCE POLICY? SEE YOU IN HEAVEN."

THAT'S HOW THAT'S GOING TO GO.

We're not going to be like, "I just

don't know. What do you want to do?"

WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

The same way that if I pull up to a

daycare and it's an all men's daycare,

being like, "Can we check him in?" I'm

like, "Nope, I don't think so. I just

don't like that." There's obvious

differences and trust. We're wired

differently, made differently. But when

it comes to submission, can I tell you,

it'll frustrate feminism. It'll

frustrate fundamentalism.

Because it's not that women dominate men

and it's not that men dominate women.

You know, Ephesians 5 21

says something interesting. It says that

there's mutual submission to one another

even though that doesn't look identical.

And then it says wives that you're

submit to your husbands, not men,

husbands.

And male submission looks like us being

submitted to Jesus Christ, men. and that

we go first in making sure that our wife

and our children are taken care of. That

we serve and even die like Jesus did. It

looks like the front of a ship that's

breaking over the waves so the rest of

the family, your wife, can go through.

Here's what it doesn't mean demeaning

and degrading your wife. It's not a

license to talk to her however you want.

You know that Peter would go on to say

uh later on, I believe it's in First

Peter, that could be wrong. Don't fact

check me on it, but um husbands who

treat their wives poorly or speak in a

way that is not kind to them, God

doesn't hear your prayers.

And so we see here that men

are to have male headship. There's male

headship, which by the way, uh I I think

is just a way of saying men are

responsible. I joke all the time there's

a reason that women have a hard time

picking where we should go eat. because

the first time they did it doomed

humanity. And so we still don't really

know what to do with that. And so

and

before you send the email, listen,

before you send the email,

but God doesn't see it that way.

You notice in Romans 5, it doesn't say

that sin came through Eve, one woman. It

doesn't say that sin came through one

couple. It says, "Sin came through one

man,

male headship. Adam, you're responsible.

What were you doing, bro?"

So, we see that there's equality. She's

bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. We

are equals. And wives, what does that

look like for you? Well, submitting to

your husband isn't something you're

supposed to do begrudgingly, which is

why we're even bringing this up in the

first place.

That we see that actually this is freely

and of her own valition. She's

submitting to him. It's the extension of

being entrusted to and submitting to the

Lord Jesus Christ. And so it's not

always contradicting or competing with

him, but cooperating.

And it doesn't mean that you're passive

and don't have a voice,

but rather working together. And you go,

why are you bringing that up? She says,

I delight to sit in his shade. That's

her saying, I don't have to be here. I

like being here with this man.

And so if you go and read verses 5

through 7, we see that he's just

reaffirming her with confidence. And

we'll get into some of that as we

continue on in the coming weeks. But I I

want to say I want to say something here

before I kind of commission us. Ladies,

you need to understand something. You

have a significant role, a significant

role in the life of the kingdom of God

and your family with your husband. You

know, it's funny. I uh I hate Nick

Sabin. I hate what he did to Tennessee

for years. It was terrible. But I'll

tell you, since he got into

commentating, I like him. He's brilliant

guy. He told this great story once. He

said that he and his wife, Miss Terry,

that they were back where it is that

they had fallen in love and where they

came from. And as they were back in

their hometown, Nick, stopped to get

some gas. And as they stopped there,

Miss Terry kind of looked wideeyed and

noticed that there was a man that was

walking out towards them. and she

recognized this man from the time that

they were in high school. She went up

and they embraced one another and they

caught up for a second and then Nick

Sabin was looking at this individual and

he was like, "How do I know that guy?"

And he was like, "Oh, that's her ex."

So they kind of awkwardly he gets back

into the car, puts the pump up, she gets

into the car, and she's like, "That is

so crazy that I ran into him. I mean, I

haven't seen him since we broke up,

basically." And he was like, "Yeah, that

is crazy." every testosterone thing in

him was like, "And by the way, um,

aren't you lucky?" And she goes, "What

do you mean?" He says, "If you'd have

married him, you'd have been married to

a guy that's working at a gas station."

And she says, "Oh, Nick, don't get it

twisted. If I have married him, he'd be

the head football coach at Alabama."

And I don't know that she's wrong.

I don't.

You have a significant role to play

in the life of your husband, your

family. You are not less than. You're

not in a place where you're like, I just

don't know that I'm equal. You bring

something unbelievably significant

in building the kingdom of God and

building up strong family units for the

glory of Jesus name.

So, can I just tell you it's not just

for you, but for all of us. All of these

things that we're talking about. I can't

give you four-step sermons and how to be

a better husband, how to be a better

wife. All of these things flow out of a

place of recognizing that I am to live

and serve my spouse the way that I

recognize Christ has called me to and

recognizing that he lived and served and

died for me.

And so, maybe you're in here and you're

like, man, I'd love to try these things,

but I don't know where I stand with

Jesus. If you don't know where you stand

with Jesus, then all of this is just

going to be like gh annoying.

But for those of us that know him and

love him and know that he sacrificed his

life for us, it's easy to step into this

and go, "Of course, how could I not give

all of myself to you knowing that our

Lord and Savior gave all of himself to

us that we might thrive and flourish in

a way that glorifies him."

Lord, we want to be a people that

understand that, recognize it. And so,

God, I just I don't know if there's

anyone in here that on the other side of

a message about

marriage and intimacy and women

specifically are going, "Hey, you know,

this is a great time to surrender to

you, Lord." But Lord, if there's anyone

in here under the sound of my voice or

in additional seating or watching online

that's never put their faith in Jesus

and they want to be a good spouse, they

want to do all of these things, but they

they're just looking at the river and

not understanding the source that it

comes from. Lord, would they know right

now that Jesus Christ lived the perfect

life that we could not willingly died

the death that we deserved upon the

cross? that his perfect innocent blood

was shed and takes away our sin past,

present, and future. For those of us

that have repented of our sins, and put

our faith in him. We know he was buried

in a tomb for three days, rose to life

again, and he's sitting at your right

hand right now interceding for us.

Listen, if there's anyone under the

sound of my voice that says, I need to

know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior,

this is your opportunity to say, "Lord,

I repent of my sins and I place my faith

in you." Romans would say, "Those of us

who believe in our heart and confess

with our mouth that Christ is Lord, will

be saved." Lord, for the rest of us,

whether we just need to contemplate in

our seats, fall down on our faces at the

altar, would we be a church that is

filled with women that understand that

we believe in them.

We are grateful for the way that you

have made them and wired them. And Lord,

would we find ourselves walking in a

deeper communion with you, Jesus, we

love you. We praise you. We ask this in

your name. Amen.