COVENANT OVER CONTRACT | LUKE LEZON

All right, welcome to Key Church

everybody. It is so great to see you and

to be here with you all this morning. I

am so grateful that we are gathered

together in this house and I'm grateful

cuz today we are continuing in our

collection of conversations that we have

been calling divine desire. Divine

desire is a collection. It's a

discussion where we are living in and we

are learning from the song of songs. And

what we see is that we are uh really

addressing some relatively controversial

things like dating, marriage, sex, and

romance. And in the midst of that, what

we've come to recognize is that we are

facing substantial relational struggle.

But we have a scriptural solution. And

so we find ourselves living in this time

in society where in our culture

regardless of your age or your

relational stage. We see that people are

longing for committed love and at the

same time losing their confidence in

their ability to find it, have it, and

keep it. And so, uh, just kind of by way

of recapping here, uh, if you haven't

been here for all of the talks that we

have gone through over the course of the

past several weeks, I don't know how it

is that you consume content or messages

or anything like that, whether you're

like a YouTube person or a podcast

person, but I would encourage you to go

back, watch these, listen to these

because they build on top of one

another, and it will make everything

make more sense. Uh but just by way of

recapping, you might recall that we

began and we've moved into this

relational journey with King Solomon and

this woman known as the Schulomite

woman. And as we have uh we ended up

addressing men and women specifically at

first where we talked about how to be a

man of God and how to be a woman of God

in a relational context. And we see that

these two have found themselves uh

attracted to one another. And there's a

physical component to that certainly.

But not only are they attracted to one

another on a physical level, but we see

that it's deeply rooted in their

character. But as they move from this

place of attraction to really pursuit,

we recognize that uh we see some things

in the way that we pursue one another

that are a little bit different than the

way that they navigated that. And so we

decided that we needed to talk about how

not to date as well as how to date and

pursue someone with purpose. And then

last week, Pastor Mike ended up talking

about singleness, that we would bring a

robust understanding to relationships as

a whole and every relational stage,

regardless of where you find yourself.

But as we've been following along with

this couple, what we've come to

recognize is that they are a couple that

not only have found themselves in a

place where they recognize character in

one another, but we also have seen that

there is a connection that has been

formed, that there's communication even

in the midst of contention. and they've

received communal approval to continue

on to a place of commitment, which is

where we are today on their wedding day.

And so what we've noticed though, uh, is

that as awesome as that is, and as

incredible as we've seen them navigate

all of these things, uh, we've also

recognized that we don't necessarily

navigate things that well ourselves. Can

I get a witness that can testify to

that? And so as we've been moving

throughout this uh what we've come to

find is that quite honestly as they have

moved through attraction and they've

moved through the pursuit of one another

we have now gotten to a place where we

recognize that in our culture in society

people struggle with this that somewhere

between being drawn towards a person

until death do us part we feel like we

are frolicking through a relational

minefield and it feels like people are

just kind of blowing up all over the

place. And so, uh, it's been interesting

to recognize that even the research

suggests that it's not just a feeling

that we have, it's a reality that we're

living in. Uh, that those who are single

and looking, both men and women, feel

like dating is something where they feel

quote dissatisfied and disenchanted.

That it's more difficult today than it

was a decade ago. And we see that a lot

of that has to do with the fact that

there are things that are considered

normal today that have not always been

normal. cohabitation, living together

before marriage, online dating, social

media have shifted assumptions,

expectations, and preconceived notions

going into a relationship. But let's say

that you even navigate that well. Let's

say that you end up moving through

dating and you get to a place where

you're ready to commit. You're ready to

get married to someone. The fact of the

matter is marriage today feels like the

modern-day Titanic.

The idea of onboarding is invigorating,

but it feels like sinking is inevitable.

And statistics show that icebergs are

getting larger out there, folks. That

the fact of the matter is we see that if

you go back 60 years, you see 88% of

individuals between 25 and 35 were

married. But now, for every 30-year jump

that we've made, we see there's more

than a 20% decrease in that number. In

2025, just 44% of that same demographic

is in fact married. And so today we

recognize that even for those of us that

are married, 42% of us end up being

divorced. 20% operate like sexless

roommates rather than divine teammates.

And it's not that we are desiring

marriage that much less. It's that we're

struggling with marriage that much more.

And so today we're arriving at this

really incredible place, but also a

really complicated place. They are

getting married. It is their wedding

day. Is anybody excited about that?

You should feel somewhat personally

attached to these people at some point.

And so we find ourselves on their

wedding day and we recognize that we do

not necessarily steward the gift of

marriage all that well comparatively to

other generations before us. And we're

going to see that this couple, though

they are imperfect, they will end up

navigating this in a really, really

healthy way. And so I think that there

are a couple things that we need to note

whenever we're having this conversation

that when you talk about weddings, when

you talk about marriage, when you talk

about wedding day, uh the fact of the

matter is there are many of us that

probably are going, "Hey, you know what?

I realize that this is cause for

celebration, but for me it feels like a

place of devastation." And so, uh, if

you would, I want to say a few things as

we flip to Song of Songs, chapter 3.

Song of Solomon 3 · chapter mention

We're going to be in verse 6. Song of

Song of Solomon 3 · chapter mention

Songs chapter 3, beginning in verse 6.

Let me say a couple things before we

jump in. Uh we need to understand that

as we enter into this conversation, uh

that there are many of us that are in

here where quite honestly, uh marriage

could be a difficult thing for us to

talk about or certainly wedding days

could be something that we want to move

through relatively quickly because for

whatever reason uh we've had marriages

that are are struggling, have struggled.

You're divorced for whatever reason.

You're a widow, you're a widowerower.

And so it's it's been a difficult

journey. uh to talk about marriage and

weddings and things of the like. And I

think that there are many of us uh we're

quite honestly whenever we talk about

marriage and weddings and all that that

entails. I think that we can often times

feel like, hey, I I just have had an

interesting journey. I I' I've been

divorced at one point or another and it

was very early on in my life. I I didn't

know the Lord. The other person didn't

know the Lord. or we feel like, hey, you

got to you got to know that there's

biblical grounds for uh action that I

took that I've known a lot of different

things in marriage that have been hard

for me. Maybe it's abuse or abandonment

or adultery, whatever that might be. And

I think what many of us can think is

like, hey, can we just move on through

this one and get to sex next week cuz

that's what people want to talk about

anyway. Uh and then and honestly, can we

just move on from this conversation

because there's some pain associated

here with me. Uh and let me just say

this. I am not here to heap shame on top

of you. a shame that you probably

already feel and quite honestly that God

has no interest in you carrying.

Rather, what I want to do today is

recognize that God can redeem every

piece of your life, even the most broken

fragments of it. And I think not only

that, we need to recognize it's not just

that God can redeem even those broken

areas of your life, but at the same

time, two truths can be held in tension.

I know that's a very difficult thing for

people to grasp these days, but the fact

of the matter is marriage can have been

something that's been really painful for

you at some point in your life. And at

the same time, we can also recognize

that marriage is a beautiful institution

that has been ordained by God and

believe deeply that God brings people

together not only for companionship but

for kingdom advancement for the glory

and the fame of Jesus' name. And so

that's what we're going to do today is

look at this and say, "Hey, there could

be some brokenness in the room. There

most certainly is some brokenness in the

room." And at the same time, we have

great reason for celebration because the

risen Lord Jesus Christ is alive and

well. He is in the house. He cares

deeply about marriage and I believe he's

going to do something in yours today.

So, Song of Songs chapter 3, beginning

Song of Solomon 3 · chapter mention

in verse 6. Are y'all ready for the

word?

>> The 8:15 was not with me whatsoever. Uh,

and so, uh, I yelled a lot. I'm probably

in trouble. There's probably an email.

It's fine. Uh, don't make me do that. I

mean, you know, I'm going to do it

anyway, but like just be there with me

today. All right. Uh again, like if

there's something that's maybe a little

touchy that's going to end up like

harming your spouse, don't amen there

necessarily. Uh but just kind of be with

me today. Okay. So, y'all ready for the

word?

>> Says this. By the way, the person who's

speaking here is that there are

individuals that are watching the

procession leading up to this wedding.

And it's probably most likely the

Schulomite woman's friends. And so, this

is what's said. Who is this coming up

from the wilderness like columns of

smoke, scented with myrr and

frankincense from every fragrant powder

of the merchant? Look, Solomon's bed,

surrounded by 60 warriors from the

mighty men of Israel. All of them are

skilled with swords and trained in

warfare. Each has a sword at his side to

guard against the terror of the night.

King Solomon made a carriage for himself

with wood from Lebanon. He made its post

of silver, its back of gold, and its

seat of purple. Its interior is inlaid

with love by the young women of

Jerusalem. Go out, young women of Zion,

and gaze at King Solomon, wearing the

crown his mother placed on him on the

day of his wedding, the day of his

heart's rejoicing.

Let's pray together.

God, we are coming before you as a

people that recognize that marriage is

tough.

And Lord, at the same time, there's so

much beauty in it.

And so God, I don't know where people

find themselves landing today whenever

they hear the word uh marriage or

wedding or or or what comes with that,

but Lord, today would you do a beautiful

work in the marriages of the people that

call this place home. Uh God, my prayer

is that for those that are in here that

feel like they've got the strongest

marriage that you could possibly have,

strengthen that. Lord, my prayer is that

for those of us that are in here and we

feel like our marriage is on the rocks,

give us the courage to fall on our face

at the altar and say, "We need a church

family to come alongside us and for God

to intervene. God redeem." Lord, would

you just be with us in this place as we

recognize what it looks like to operate

in the covenant of marriage and remain

committed to one another faithfully in a

way that reflects the way that you have

been committed to us. Jesus, we are

believing that you are going to do a

radical work in this house. We don't

show up any other way. Lord, we love

you. We praise you. And we ask these

things in your name. Amen.

>> Well, April 29th, 2011

uh would end up becoming a day that was

known as the day that the world stopped

because it was on that day that Prince

William and Katherine or Kate Middleton

would end up finding themselves getting

married with pretty much half of planet

Earth watching. uh that we see that it

was on that day that the UK would dub it

a national holiday and we see that

businesses and schools were closed,

communities were holding parties and

public gatherings and we see that

everybody was excited, thrilled for this

day that actually we see that on the day

of their wedding there would be all of

the people that you would think are in

attendance. Queen Elizabeth, Prince

Philip, even celebrities that Americans

would know, Sir Elton, John, David and

Victoria Beckham, all the people. And we

see that 2,200 individuals would pack

into Westminster Abbey to celebrate this

wedding on this day. And as we see that

all of these individuals were packing

into Westminster Abbey, we saw that it

was more than just celebrities and and

national leaders, but rather foreign

royals that were there to celebrate the

occasion of this day. That their wedding

would end up being streamed to more than

180 different countries. And it would

become a global phenomenon where media

estimates that in all of their summaries

there were approximately two billion

[music] people,

two billion people that tuned into this

on some level. And what's amazing is

that you see in their wedding there was

this detail that you see that it was

more than just detailed. It was

intentional and it it was all made very

clear in the procession that if you ever

found yourself uh watching this wedding

or if you've ever seen clips of it, then

you would notice that in the wedding, in

their procession, it was not hurried and

it certainly was not hidden. That every

stop that this couple would take was

very visible. That they were being made

known to the people. That you would see

there was this incredible attention to

detail as they were making their way

towards the site of this wedding. And

there would be all of these different

things that would pay homage to

symbolism of the past. They would be

escorted in this procession to the site

of their wedding in an older carriage.

They would end up going to Westminster

Abbey to be married as that many others

before them had. They would end up

finding themselves going through the

ceremony and they would do the very

famous wave at Buckingham Palace saying,

"Thank you everybody for participating

in our joy today." that this was in our

modern society the wedding of weddings.

And I say that to you today because

there are a lot of similarities between

their wedding and what we're going to

see as the wedding of weddings in the

Song of Songs here in Song of Songs

Song of Solomon 3 · chapter mention

chapter 3 beginning in verse 6. That

what you'll notice is that you have the

Shulamite woman's friends that are

waiting on this procession for them to

show up to the site, arrive at the place

where they are going to get married. And

as they do, they will make significant

notes of what it is that's happening

here. Significant things that we should

be aware of as well. Ways that we should

navigate love and life in our

relationship with our spouse that will

help us be aware. This is how we remain

committed to one another. And the first

thing that we see is that their love is

extravagant. It is extravagant. Look at

what it says in chapter 3 verse 6. The

friends say, "Who is this coming up from

the wilderness like columns of smoke

scented with myrr and frankincense from

every fragrant powder of the merchant?"

It's a very vivid metaphor uh and visual

here. What you'll notice uh is that all

of the Shulamite woman's friends, they

are waiting at the site where this

wedding is happening and they are

waiting for all of the individuals to

arrive who are a part of the wedding

party and they say, "Who is this that

they see out there on the horizon that

there is this entourage that is showing

up?" But this in Hebrew is in the

feminine singular and they're indicating

here, hey, we see the bride. We see that

she's here. But not only do they see

her, they actually see that Solomon

would be escorting her here. Uh that in

Hebrew, we see that in the Hebrew

culture, uh a wedding was this

unbelievably elaborate, unbelievably

extravagant public occasion. And there

were really many moving parts to a

wedding, but I think three that are

significant for us to know for where we

are in the text and really kind of where

we're going to be after this. But what

we see is that in Hebrew culture, the

way that a wedding would work is that

often the groom's parents would end up

selecting a bride for their son. So,

this was an arranged marriage situation,

uh, but not necessarily like other

cultures, not necessarily as intense.

there was some level of approval that

would happen from the son and that would

happen from uh the the the wife to be

and we see that they weren't just going

into it just against their will that

they had some level of approval and so

we see that it is an arranged marriage

but not necessarily in the way that we

would think where they don't have a say

uh some of you are like man I would love

to arrange my kids' marriage who are

they dating right now this is terrible

uh and and so we see that there are some

benefits to that uh and yet at the same

time there would be approval that is

involved and then from there all of the

preparations would be made and people

would be getting ready for this wedding.

And as it would come to wedding day, we

see that then all of a sudden the groom

and his friends would go and pick up the

bride and escort her to the site where

they would get married. And then

following that, we see that they would

celebrate their wedding for a day. And

then the following evening, there would

be the consummation of the marriage,

which is what we're talking about next

week. And I just have a hunch, don't

call me a prophet, but just under the

power of God, I have this feeling next

week we'll be packed in attendance. And

so as we look forward to that and

recognize that people are more

interested in sex than marriage, we find

ourselves realizing that you are the

true saints who have been to both. And

so now

it just is what it is. People are like,

I can't believe we're talking about this

in church. Want to go? So I think it's

kind of a weird thing. It's kind of a

weird thing, but what we see is that

Solomon is escorting his bride to the

site of their wedding. And what we'll

notice here uh is that in Hebrew

culture, if every wedding was this

extravagant, elaborate event for a

public occasion for the community, then

you would know that this one is going to

be even crazier because it's not just

like Solomon's getting married, but it's

King Solomon. His wedding would eclipse

surpass all of them. And here's the

thing. Solomon's got a reputation. My

man's got champagne appetite. You know

what I'm saying? Y'all do too. And so we

see here that he is like, I will spare

no expense.

And as he does, he's going to make it

clear not only to everybody that is

around, but most importantly to his

bride. You need to understand something.

My personal attention and detail is

going to go into this day. And it's

going to be very evident how much I care

for you in the preparation that is

really made evident in this procession

scene. But there's some interesting

language that is utilized that I think

we need to recognize here that her

friends will end up saying, "Who is

this?" And then they say, "Coming up

from the wilderness like columns of

smoke." And that's interesting because

what we see is that she's saying, "Hey,

there's an entourage of people that are

pulling up to the site of this wedding

and they are kicking up dust that is

going with them. That you can see the

cloud of dust or smoke that is coming

with them as they're making their way

towards this wedding." But the language

is more specific than they're making a

mess. The language is that they're

coming up from the wilderness like

columns of smoke. that we see that as

this couple has been brought together

and they're making their way to the site

of their wedding. What is it that is

happening? We see that there is language

from the Exodus. They're coming up from

the wilderness like a cloud of smoke.

That should bring to mind how God heard

the cries of his people that found

themselves enslaved in the land of

Egypt. And we see that from there, God

would hear their cries and he would

rescue them. He would send Moses who

would lead the people out of their

bondage and their captivity into the

wilderness and towards the land of

promise. And we see that by day God

would lead the people by a pillar of

cloud, by a pillar of smoke. And so we

see that what they're saying here is

that this couple has been brought

together by God. They're being led

towards this site where they're going to

get married by God. This couple is being

led by God. that there's an element of

holiness and expectancy here that God is

with them and he's with you in your

marriage. But more than that, we see

that she will not stop there, but

they'll continue on in their description

and they'll say, "And it smelled,"

which, you know, you want to make sure

if it's going to smell, it's going to

smell good. And thankfully, it does.

They say with myrr and frankincense that

it says that it scented this cloud. Uh

but it that word could also be perfumed.

Uh and scented here uh should remind us

of something. This is a sweet aroma

that's coming with their approach. And

if you uh have any familiar familiarity

with the Old Testament, then you would

know uh that often times in the temple

actually all the time in the temple

there was incense that was burning. Why?

Because God wanted people to know when

you are in my presence, it's something

that is not dreadful. It's delightful.

You want to step into the temple where

God's presence dwelt among the people

and realize this is delightful to be in

your presence, Lord. That God cares

about that. That there's a reminder in

that covenantal intimacy that hey, I'm

with you and this is not something that

is oppressive. This is something that

rather leads to your flourishing and

leads to life. And so we see that there

is an extravagance to their love that is

really on display by the fact that God

is going with them. But the other thing

that we see in their life on their

wedding day here is that their love is

equipped. You notice that that they'll

say, "Look, Solomon's bed surrounded by

60 warriors from the mighty men of

Israel." Which when they say look, the

word really there is uh behold. And it's

this um expression that carries a lot of

significance and it's saying hey you got

to pay attention to this that as they're

arriving here there's this they're here

but then there's something weird that

follows that like I I would probably

think that you would say and there she

is but they go look Solomon's bed and

you're like underwhelming uh on the day

of the wedding. Uh but Solomon's bed uh

is not like just a bed. It's not like

taking uh like your mattress around or

anything like that, but rather it it was

like a portable couch. Uh and it would

have been something that those that were

wealthy could use to travel in a

luxurious way. So, you know, you got all

these people that are kind of carrying

you around. You're you're lying down

first class while all the other peasants

are around there just just kind of in

economy with you. And you see that they

are moving forward. But then the thing

that you're really supposed to note is

not necessarily that they're carrying

this luxurious portable couch, but

rather this that it's surrounded

by 60 warriors.

We see that as this couple is

approaching their wedding day, they're

approaching and it's surrounded by 60

warriors. 60 of the mighty men of

Israel. And that's significant because

60 is double twice the number of mighty

men or warriors that would have usually

been what the kings had had that we see

actually King David, King Solomon's

father would have had 30 mighty men of

Israel. Often times in scripture they're

referred to as the 30. They were the

elite of the elite. They were with David

when he was fleeing King Saul who was

trying to kill him. forged in the

wilderness into not just loyal

companions, but hardened warriors that

would spend their lives not just

protecting the king, but protecting

whatever and whoever mattered to him the

most. And so we see here that where King

David had 30 mighty men of Israel, we

see that Solomon's saying, "Let me go

ahead and double you up, Dad. I've got

60 that are pulling up with me and my

bride." Why is that significant? Because

this is a practical implication, an

indication from King Solomon that he is

trying to communicate to his wife, you

are of incredible value and worth to me.

I am going to double up the care for

you. I want you to feel safe and secure.

What is it that he knows? He knows that

whatever is valued is guarded and

whatever is treasured is surrounded.

Guys, think about the things that you

love the most materialistically in this

world. that car that you love so much

that you would never let your kid drive.

I've seen the way you treat your golf

clubs. I mean, you borderline feed those

things. Tuck them in at night. Sing them

laabis. I mean, you care about stuff.

There's things that we care about

deeply, right? And what we see that he's

saying is you need to understand you are

of incredible value, incredible worth.

You are safe and secure with me. You do

not have to find yourself hoping in

empty promises, but my presence is the

fulfillment of the promise of the vows

that I am saying to you here today. You

mean more to me than anything else in

this world. We see that there is an

incredible amount of equipment that is

going into this marriage that they are

going to make sure that it is fortified

and it is strong. You look at verse 7

and 8 and it'll double down on that.

Look, Solomon's bed surrounded by 60

warriors from the mighty men of Israel.

All of them are skilled with swords and

trained in warfare. Each has his sword

at his side to guard against the terror

of the night.

So we see special opses here and they're

able to protect this procession. They're

skilled. They're trained. They're

skilled with the sword and trained in

warfare. And so we see that King Solomon

has made sure that his marriage is

surrounded with 60 mighty men and

warriors that have a readiness to make

sure that they can defend against anyone

or anything that would try to come at

this couple and break them apart. And

you see the readiness is there because

the sword is at their side ready to do

what? Guard against the terrors of the

night. Which is kind of an interesting

and ambiguous thing to say. What does

that mean? Well, ancients feared the

night because it was often in the night

that you would see that bandits and

outlaws, some kind of objective danger,

would oftenimes be on the prowl and

could be dangerous to an individual. And

so, we see that really that same thing

would be true for us today. For many of

us, you understand, I would rather run

into a grizzly bear in the middle of a

night than find myself running into a

man who is their morality unrestrained.

And so they are making sure that they

are ready to go against anyone and

anything that would come against this

marriage here. And so as we see that

that is happening, we see that it says

to guard against the terrors of the

night, which is reminiscent of language

in Psalm 91:5 that says, "We will not

Psalms 91:5

fear the terrors of the night." That the

Lord our God is our protection. And

Solomon is saying, "Yes, the Lord our

God is our protection, but I'm also

going to practically make sure that we

are guarded and protected as well. I've

got us. I'm making every provision. And

I think that's significant for this

reason that you notice that Solomon has

practical protection for the marriage.

And I wonder, is your marriage

unguarded?

Is your marriage guarded? It's amazing

to me, regardless of how long people

have been married, that you just kind of

run the gamut and you can see most

people don't have anyone checking in on

their marriage. You have people that

check on your business. You have people

that are checking and making sure that

everything is going right with pretty

much everything in your life. But the

thing that we leave the most unguarded

in our lives is our marriage for some

reason. Nobody checking in on that.

Checking in on the health of it. Uh I

I'll say this. It's interesting.

Whenever I do a wedding, I don't have as

much time to do weddings as I used to

do, but I've done a lot of weddings in

my life. Um, and it's funny whenever

people pull up to a wedding, uh, I think

they're just like, well, there's no way

to back out of this because otherwise

they're going to lose their money on the

brisket that they got for me and so I

got to be there and, you know, it's just

like, I don't know. And just like it's

free cocktail, like, might as well go

like, you know, and so that that's kind

of the way that people look at it. But

do you realize what you're there to do?

I I don't think we realize if you've

been invited to a wedding, you have full

license to call the couple out.

like, yeah, they're they're making vows

to one another and before God, but

they're making them in front of you.

Why? So that when one of them inevitably

does something less than ideal, you can

be like, "Hey, the do you remember the

vows?" and stuff.

It's interesting. I can't brag on a lot

in my life. Uh, I'll tell you like I I

joke with our team all the time like

listen, I'm really good at like three

things in life. The rest of my life is

unbelievably difficult for me. I mean,

it is tough out here for me. All right?

I mean, truly, they'll laugh. I won't

look at them. It's just it's just the

facts. Uh, but the thing that I can tell

you for sure, uh, is that my marriage is

guarded.

And I I'll say I I think and that's not

to say look at me go. Uh, not not at

all. Uh it's not because of any wisdom

in me. It's because of the wisdom of

others that have come alongside us. And

it kind of comes with the position to be

honest with you, right? You see all

these things that go wrong with pastors

and you probably don't want that to

happen to yours. And so, uh you want to

make sure everything's you can laugh at

that like we all we all we all read

articles, don't we? Uh so, um it's just

like, man, I hope they're good, you

know? So, [laughter]

okay, that's that's too much laughter.

That's too uh

Uh but you know it's it's interesting. I

have a guy that's been uh mentoring me

for eight years now. Jim Shepard. Some

of you know him, have met him. He's come

through here and he's just one of many.

But he's been uh the most significant in

Lindsay and I's life. I'll never forget

5 years ago when Lindsay and I moved

down here and and things started to

really uh start going well in our

ministry. Uh, I'll never forget Jim, he

called me and he said, "Hey, I've booked

a flight and I'm coming down to check on

the health of your ministry." And I was

like,

"Uh, you're in your 70s. I guess you can

do that. Uh, I, uh, I will tell you, we

don't have a gathering for 5 days, so

how long are you going to stay?" Like,

you know, and he he he said, "No, no,

no. I'm I'm I'm coming to check on the

health of your your ministry."

>> [snorts]

>> He said, "I don't care how big

things are going for you at a gathering.

I'm coming to check on Lindsay."

And I think I have a picture maybe. I

don't know if they uploaded it where I

walked in and I finally got summoned to

be able to come to lunch, but after they

got through figuring out if I'm an idiot

or not.

And I just say that not to like listen,

I got other people that are in this room

that guard and protect our marriage as

well. And that's not me saying look at

me go. That's me saying I've got some

other people that are wiser than I am

that have said you got to make sure this

is good or nothing else matters.

>> Nothing else matters.

Are you guarded and protected? elders,

pastors, even some people that just know

and love that are in this gathering that

make sure mostly I'm not being an idiot.

Right? Again, the articles and such. So,

is your marriage guarded? Is it guarded?

We see that love is extravagant. It's

equipped, but also there's effort.

Effort. Can I get some feminine applause

for effort? Right? And so we see

[applause]

that sounded like feminine clapping. You

know, that was interesting. I I've I've

never felt like there was a gendered

clap, but I did there. Uh and that was

that was very soft. It was very kind,

very delightful. Uh and so that's um so

again, where my life gets really

difficult is I say stuff I shouldn't.

And that's one of those things. So that

was just first thing that came to mind.

Anyway, love has effort.

Look at verses 9 and 10. It says, "King

Solomon made a carriage for himself with

wood from Lebanon. He made its posts of

silver, its back of gold, its seat of

purple. Its interior is inlaid with love

by the young women of Jerusalem. My man

is flexing with his carriage."

So, check out this carriage. You ever

seen a carriage like this? Now, when we

when we hear carriage, we could think

about a myriad of different things, but

the truth of the matter is uh is that

it's uh palunkin, which is just a fancy

word for this thing. um which if you

ever seen that uh you you would put the

person of honor inside and you would

have some very buff individuals that

were carrying that uh which under no

circumstance does that feel like it

would be comfortable at all. Uh but at

the same time that was the best they had

back in the day. And we see that Solomon

made one of these for his wedding. Now

why is that significant? Because you

notice how it is that he made it. Notice

how King Solomon for his wedding, for

his marriage, made this carriage. It

says that it was made from the cedars of

Lebanon, which would have been the

prized lumber for construction in that

day. You see that the temple would be

made with that kind of lumber. You see

that there was silver, gold, the most

celebrated of all metals would have been

laced into the interior of this

carriage. You see that there was purple

dye that was used. And that's

significant because purple dye came from

shellfish in the Mediterranean Sea. It

would take 10,000 of them to make one

ounce of purple dye.

Why does that matter? Because we see

this king who commands nations

paused and planned for his marriage and

said this matters to me that you see he

paused and he planned and this is more

than about decoration. This is a

declaration that our marriage has my

attention. you have my attention. And I

think often times what's interesting

about marriage is that we can be so in

it, it's difficult to work on it. Does

that make sense to anybody in here? Like

you can find yourself in the intricacies

of it, and as you do, you can find

yourself recognizing, man, we're so busy

doing all these things, I don't actually

know how we're doing. Uh, and so

imperfectly, uh, again, wisdom that has

been swn into our life is that Lindsay

and I will often try to just like get

the kids away because, you know, their

favorite thing to do is try to have a

conversation with us when we're trying

to have a conversation. Uh, and we end

up uh, you know, making sure that

everything else is taken care of and

just be like, "Hey, how are you doing?

How can I serve you better? Am I missing

anything? Is there anything that I'm I'm

failing in here in your eyes? How is it

that we can better serve one another?

What does that look like? Which at first

can feel really awkward, but then you're

like, man, we never just get up to

30,000 ft and really evaluate this. How

are we doing? Rather than just being in

it, we want to work on it. That we want

to make sure that it has our attention,

right? And so, you see that Solomon is

indicating to his wife, hey, you have my

attention. But then we see in verse 11,

it would go on and it would say this, go

out, young women of Zion. gaze at King

Solomon wearing the crown his mother

placed on him on the day of his wedding,

the day of his heart's rejoicing. Now,

in ancient Jewish wedding tradition, uh

the way that this worked is that the

bride and the groom would be crowned. Uh

and if you were wealthy, you would be

crowned with gold. Uh and if you

weren't, then it would often just be uh

wool. Uh and so you see that's a it's a

steep decrease. It's a

you know, it's a different tax bracket

situation right there. And and so

[snorts] like Windermir would have gold,

right? And you know,

>> she's Windermir would have gold and

other places would have wool. And so

some of y'all act so like, wow, that is

crazy. And I'm like, ah, come on now.

What does it signify?

You're the king and queen, not just

literally here, but of your home. you're

the king and queen of your home. That

there's something new that God's doing

and there's now a new couple, a new king

and queen that are together.

And so we see that there's something to

be celebrated there and the fact that

there is effort and that effort has led

you to a place where it's like you now

have responsibilities

as kings and queens of this new house.

Final thing we see is that love should

be enjoyed.

that this kind of covenant love should

be enjoyed. And we see that the king and

the queen, they certainly will end up

enjoying the company of one another and

how it is that God has brought them

together here. But can I tell you,

there's a lot of pressure on people

today. Uh

especially on their wedding day to feel

like it's being enjoyed. You know what I

mean? Anytime someone says, "Hey, what's

the best day? What's what's been the

best day of your life?" They're kind of

like, at least for guys, you know what

the answer is. Like, you know what I

mean? And it's supposed to be your

wedding day. That's supposed to be your

answer. I I don't know that it's the

best day of your life. It's certainly

one of the most important days of your

life. You know what I mean? Some of you

are like, "Dude, you're waving into some

really scary territory right here." My

wedding day wasn't the best day of my

life. Yes, I got this approved.

You better not be shouting that junk out

here. Like, you better make sure. My

wedding day wasn't the best day of my

life. I'll tell you that right now. My

wedding day was kind of brutal. Uh, I

I'll tell you just to bring you up to

speed on how it is that I could say that

so boldly and in a way that could land

me in some serious trouble.

Lindsay and I got married on May the

21st. And on the year that we got

married, I received an invitation via

email in March and it was from a

preaching hero, legend, pastoral

preaching hero to me. And I was like, is

this for real? Like, is this it? I

cannot believe this. And it was an

invitation for me to come and spend a

day with him and a couple other people

to talk about the future of the church

and reaching the next generation. I was

like, "This is insane." And then I

thought to myself, "Oh, I'm getting

married.

What day is this?" I was like, "Please

don't be May the 21st. Please don't be

May the 21st." And I looked at the date

and I was like, "May the 18th."

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

And so I just said to my soon-to-be

bride, I was like, "Hey, you know, you

know, we love each other, right?" You

know what I mean? And like it's one of

those things like, you know, if I like

hypothetically got invited to something

May 18th and I like had to leave the

city, would that be something that was

like problematic? And she was like, "Um,

so far it's not sounded good." I told

her what it was and she was like, "You

should go." And I was like, "Really? I'm

so glad you said that. I already booked

the flight." And so now I'm like, you

know,

I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I

didn't do that. I didn't do that.

I didn't do that.

And um

is she here? I don't know. Um and so

I go, it's this incredible time. I I I

meet this individual. He comes in,

there's a group of us, and he says,

"Hey, which of you is getting married in

a few days?" I was like, "That's me. Any

any advice?" And he said, "Yeah, don't

travel 3 days before your wedding.

I was like noted

and just incredible time set the

trajectory for our lives in ministry in

many ways and it it's funny uh I ended

up coming back home family has already

started arriving it's rehearsal dinners

and meeting with people and just like

hey who invited you and all the things

and like I haven't seen you in like 15

years it's great you know and so you're

doing all the things

and then I woke up on the morning of our

wedding I was like man my head has a

heartbeat right now what is going on and

I'd been stressed with all the things

and I I like walked out and like I saw

sunlight and I was like man my mother

was a a nurse earlier on in her career

and then she had all of her doctor

friends there and they were like buddy

you've got a migraine and I'd had like

three in my life up to this point and I

was like thanks. Uh,

and so all day I laid down with like a

towel on my face until it was time to

take pictures and then for me to walk

down the aisle and and even in the

pictures, I mean, I looked like a zombie

to some degree. It's really great. It's

Lindsay's favorite thing. And and so,

uh, it it was crazy though. Like I I

found myself on that day

being in a place where my wife is like

walking in and she's being all sweet and

at the same time has some thoughts, you

know? She's like, "You better lock it

in. You better figure it out." you know,

and at the same time,

you know, she's like, "I love you, but

like, you know, it's like, you know, you

know what I mean?" Like,

she's like, "I love you and I'll kill

you." And so,

I was like, "I'll be fine. I'll rally.

You know, it'll be fine cuz I'm excited

to, you know,

hang out with you tonight. So, I'll be

fine.

We'll talk about that next week." So,

but you know what I kept thinking to

myself? I was like, "This poor woman on

day one is having to exercise covenantal

love towards this loser that decided to

have a migraine on his wedding day."

And thank God this isn't a contract.

And I think that's where we lose the joy

is that we start to treat our marriage

like a contract even though we entered

into it knowing it's a covenant.

That marriage is a covenant and not a

contract. It is based upon promise. But

when you get into the intricacies and

the complications of life and

responsibility 5, 10, 20 decades into

your marriage, you can start to

recognize, oh, we've now started to

measure each other's performance

rather than recognize the promise that

we made to one another. It's like the

late great Tim Keller said, if your

marriage is based upon anything other

than promise, then eventually it will be

governed by moods and circumstances.

And rather than remembering the promise

you made to one another, you'll be

analyzing the performance of one

another. Contracts and covenants are

different. A contract says, "If you,

then I." Covenant says, "No matter what

I do." A contract is negotiated between

two people. Whereas you see that a

covenant is negotiated with three that

are involved. You see that a contract is

going to be shortterm, but a covenant is

going to be long-term. that a contract

will have you keeping a record of

wrongs. Where a covenant will make sure

that there is no record of wrongs. That

a contract is where you're going to find

yourself in a place where you're trying

to win even if it must be endured. But

it is in a covenant that you will

recognize this is about worship and this

is to be enjoyed. It is for your joy.

It's interesting as I was looking at

this, I couldn't help but find myself

going back to a miracle of Jesus, the

first miracle of Jesus in John chapter

John 2 · chapter mention

2. So, if you will just humor me for a

moment, I I want to look at 12 verses in

John chapter 2. Does anybody have an

John 2 · chapter mention

issue with scripture in a sermon? Okay,

good. You're in the wrong place if you

do. So, John chapter 2, I want to look

John 2 · chapter mention

at verses uh 1-2.

Watch this.

We've been moving through this wedding

in the Song of Songs, but I want to look

at another wedding in John chapter 2.

John 2 · chapter mention

On the third day, a wedding took place

in Canaa of Galilee. And Jesus' mother

was there. And Jesus and his disciples

were invited to the wedding as well.

When the wine ran out, Jesus' mother

told him, "They don't have any wine."

"What does that have to do with you and

me, woman?" Jesus asked. "My hour has

not yet come." "Do whatever he tells

you," his mother told the servants. Now,

six stone water jars had been set there

for Jewish purification. Each contained

20 or 30 gallons. "Fill the jars with

water," Jesus told them. So they filled

them to the brim. Then he said to them,

"Now draw some out and take it to the

head waiter." They did. And when

[snorts] the head waiter tasted the

water after it had become wine, he did

not know where it came from, though the

servants who had drawn the water knew.

He called the groom and told him,

"Everyone sets out the fine wine first.

Then after people are drunk, the

inferior, but you've kept the fine wine

until now." Jesus did this, the first of

his signs in Canaa of Galilee. He

revealed his glory and his disciples

believed in him.

It's interesting in scripture in the

study of scripture there's a principle

called the law of first mention and uh

to simplify it it's whenever you see

something for the very first time there

tends to be something that's noteworthy

or significant there pay attention to

that uh and an appropriate use of it

would be here as well where we see that

Jesus first miracle is turning water

into wine at a wedding at a wedding

Jesus first reveals s his glory.

Not in a courtroom,

not in a synagogue,

not in the temple,

but at a wedding. Why?

Because the Lord Jesus Christ is serious

about your covenantal joy that you have

between one another and what it

foreshadows to come in the future. As

we've been moving through the Song of

Songs, we see that there's this wedding

and we're in this procession. It's

detailed. It guarded. It's a declaration

that God has brought us together and God

is leading us forward. And we see that

Jesus first miracle turning water into

wine at a wedding is not accidental.

It's not accidental. Jesus first reveals

his glory in this way. Turning water

into wine at the wedding at Kaa. And

notice that his first miracle is not in

response to sin running rampant or sin

running over in some circumstance. It's

to joy running out.

And Jesus is absolutely going to call

sinners to repentance and say the

kingdom of God is near. He's going to

preach the sermons. He's going to rebuke

demons. He's going to do all of those

things. But the first miracle that Jesus

does is to make sure that there is the

protection of joy at this wedding that

you see in the Song of Songs. There's a

display of abundance. Gold and silver

and purple dye and cedars from Lebanon.

And you see that Jesus is going to

demonstrate his care for your joy in

abundance at this wedding. What is it

that he does? He makes sure that there's

more than 150 gallons of wine there.

You see that in the Song of Songs,

there's this demonstration of

excellence, attention, and provision in

every way that you could hope there

would be at a wedding. And you see that

Jesus will recognize where it feels like

the excellence is running low at the

party. Jesus shows up and what does he

do? He doesn't just find himself in a

place where he's like, "Well, we'll

figure out how to continue the party."

No, he elevates it. It's not just 150

gallons of wine. It's 150 gallons of

fine wine.

It would have been shameful.

It would have been terrible to lack the

hospitality to make sure that you have

enough wine. You would have been a

social enigma. And Jesus Christ steps

onto the scene and says, "I will shield

this couple from shame and I will cover

you with grace

at this wedding." Jesus is serious about

your covenantal joy. He says, "Y'all

have been drinking apocy

on me." I've been to some of y'all's

houses like, "I love Jesus, but I drink

a little." Yeah, I see y'all. Like, I

see your dish towels. I see you people.

Don't invite him again. So, um,

what if you knew that Jesus cares about

the joy between you and your spouse?

Some of y'all need to invite Jesus back

to the party, man.

you need to invite him back to the party

because you see that Solomon is going to

surround his bride with strength

and you see that Jesus is going to make

sure that he surrounds this couple with

grace. Solomon's going to communicate

how much his wife is valued and he's

going to do so in the way that she's

guarded. And you see that Jesus is going

to communicate how much he values

marriage because he's going to make sure

it's blessed.

He reveals his glory not on a

battlefield, not in a temple, but at

this wedding first. Here's the beautiful

thing.

Our marriages,

they're just rehearsals here on earth

for the grand finale. That'll be the

marriage supper of the lamb when the new

heavens and new earth come together and

all things are made new. and Jesus

Christ. The communion that we take in

our gatherings every month, we'll find

ourselves in a place where that same

thing that Jesus said to the disciples

that I will not drink again or eat of

this bread until you come together with

me in [music] my kingdom. It will happen

at the marriage supper of the lamb when

we are all gathered with the one who

saved us.

And I think for some of us that are in

this place, you need to know there will

be nothing but the fullness of joy on

that day. But for some of us, we're

settling for enduring. And there will be

seasons of marriage where we endure, but

it is also

the thing that Jesus has brought us

together with our spouse that it might

be enjoyed.

And I think for some of us, we need to

just repent of the fact that we have not

sought joy

in our marriage, but we have allowed it

to become

this [music] thing where we're just

we're more in it than working on it.

You realize Jesus Christ cares about

your marriage.

And I don't know what you need today. I

don't know if your marriage is amazing

and you're good.

I don't know if your marriage is feeling

like it's on its last breath,

but I want you to know today our prayer

is that you would find yourself in your

seat praying with your spouse at this

altar, whatever you need, that you might

feel the loving arms of pastors, elders,

others that [music] are in this room

that would say, "Hey, we're with you. We

see you." The arms of Jesus cover you.

and know that we are [music] committed

to seeing through in your marriage the

joy that God has for you, that you're

not enduring it,

but you're also [music] enjoying it for

the glory of Jesus name.

And so, Lord, would that be the case?

God, I don't know

the exact [music] demographic in this

room. I know that there are statistics

that speak to things in grand sweeping

ways, but Lord, today my hope and prayer

is that that wouldn't be the case. That

we would have better statistics than

what are out there. And yet, Lord, I

know that at the same time, we've got a

lot of broken marriages.

Maybe they're not broken, but they feel

like they're cracking.

God, would this altar be a place where

there can be restoration

and recognition of the joy that is

available in you? God, we are believing

that you have more for us

than endurance and every stereotype that

exists out there about marriage right

now, but rather that we would be a

community of people. That when we see

our spouse, our heart still leaps. That

when we find ourselves in any type of

situation where we have a choice, that

we would always remain committed to

them. that we would demonstrate our love

for you and your love for us and

commitment to us in the way that we love

and endure and enjoy the company of one

another. God, would this be a church

where people could say, "If you want a

strong marriage, get around those

people." [music]

Lord, we love you. We praise you. We ask

this in Jesus name. Amen.