HOW TO HAVE AN EVERLASTING LOVE | LUKE LEZON

All right. All right. Good morning,

everyone. How we doing?

I uh Hey, I want to start with something

a little different and I think uh it's

important just because uh we all have

cell phones and such. Uh we are

obviously all very well aware of what is

going on so far as uh international

conflict uh right now and I think we

recognize that uh we the United States

and uh Iran are finding ourselves in the

midst of a global conflict and obviously

Israel's involved as well and there's

just a lot of things that are going on

right now and so we just thought before

we jump into the gathering uh you guys

know we're not going to pretend like

things aren't happening uh in the real

world around here. Uh, and so we want to

just make sure that we address those and

and but we want to address them through

prayer and not opinion. Uh, we we want

to be a people that are are finding

ourselves on our face because everyone's

talking about everything. Very few

people are praying. Uh, and so we want

to be a people that are praying because

we believe that prayer moves the arm

that moves the world. Yes. Uh we believe

that God is not shocked, stunned,

surprised by any of these things. Uh,

and at the same time, we have a real

opportunity to pray uh for our country

and for our troops. And let me just say

if you're someone who's ever served,

thank you for your service. We uh rever

you for that and are so grateful. Um

want to pray as well for all other

parties that are involved. You know,

it's an interesting thing when you're

involved with missions at all like our

churches and you hear stories from

around the globe about things that are

going on. You know that the fastest

growing church in the world is in Iran.

Uh and so there's a real opportunity

also for the witness and the gospel of

Jesus Christ to go forth in an

unbelievable way right now. And and is

is it the is it the means in which we

would like that to happen? Uh probably

not. And yet at the same time we're

believing that God can do mind-blowing

things even in the midst of the chaos of

this world. So would it be okay if we

just took a moment, prayed uh and then

jumped into our time together. Uh Lord,

we are we are your people. um first and

foremost. Uh but Lord, we are so

grateful to be a part of um this great

nation and we are so grateful for the

freedoms that we have. And Lord, we know

that not everyone are afforded those

things. We know that there's chaos all

over the place. And Lord, in a world of

just opinions that are flying around

like crazy, Lord, we seek your face. Uh

we fall down on our face and we say,

Lord, we pray for not only our people

and our troops. God be with them. Uh but

Lord, we also lift up the people of

Israel and the people of Iran and and

specifically Lord uh those people that

are uh your people that are going

forward right now with the good news of

the gospel even in the midst of the

chaos of this world. Lord, we not in a

shameful way, but I think we take for

granted we can walk in here with coffee

and donuts and all the things uh and

there are people that are smuggling your

word to difficult parts of the world.

There are people that are navigating the

tumultuousness of this life, literal

bombs and chaos that are going on right

now. And so Lord, uh, Father, we just

ask for godliness from our leaders. Uh,

Lord, that you would uh not just be with

our leaders, but all of these world

leaders that right now are probably

looking at the landscape of the world

and going, "What do we do with this?"

Uh, Father, would you just meet them in

radical ways uh that we might find

ourselves in the midst of a revival that

is happening worldwide because people

are turning to you. Lord, we love you.

We praise you. We ask these things in

your name. Amen.

Well, with that being said, welcome to

Key Church, everybody. How's everyone

doing? Are we all right?

>> Ask you a question. Yeah, questions

usually have answers. And so, I'm glad

to hear that. Uh but let me just say uh

grateful that we could be gathered

together in this place because we have

been in this collection called divine

desire which concludes today. Uh I know

that many of you are like can we stay

here forever? We cannot. Uh and so we

are going to be moving on. We have been

uh living in and learning from the Song

of Songs. Uh and we've been addressing

some relatively controversial things

like dating, marriage, sex, and romance.

And in the midst of that, we've

recognized we're facing substantial

relational struggle. But we have a

scriptural solution and that we're

living in a culture where regardless of

your age or your relational stage. We

know people are longing for committed

love but losing their confidence in

their ability to find it, have it, and

keep it. And so these will live forever,

I think, uh on YouTube and podcast and

what have you. Uh so, however it is that

you consume uh sermons and things like

that in in your free time, feel free to

go back and watch or listen to these.

But just so you know how we arrived

where we are uh that we have found

ourselves navigating the Song of Songs

and we've addressed how to be a man of

God and how to be a woman of God in a

relational context. We talked about how

not to date as well as how to date. Uh

we've ended up talking about singleness.

We journeyed with this couple that has

fallen in love and been on this journey.

And what we have seen is that in the

midst of their relationship, they ended

up committing to one another. We were

with them on their wedding day and then

we ended up skipping the wedding

reception and we went straight to the

wedding night and we talked about sex.

Hello. Uh and we moved from there and we

talked about marital conflict and we

addressed the fact that God knows what

he's doing. We got one chapter on sex,

two on how to fight. Come on somebody.

Uh and so in the midst of that, we now

find ourselves in a place uh where we

are really kind of having this

interesting close where we're going to

talk about how it is uh that we can have

an everlasting love in the midst of a

tumultuous world till death do us part.

And so we've got a lot of scripture that

we need to cover. We are in Song of

Song of Solomon 7:1

Songs chapter 7 verse 1 all the way

through chapter 8 verse1 14. We have got

two chapters that we are going to cover

here today folks. I hope that you are

Bible people uh because that is what we

are going to be in. Uh let me just say

as you're flipping or scrolling there,

this one would be a good reminder uh

that this is in the word of God.

There are some things that are said here

that you're going to be like, "How could

you say that?" And I will say, "I did

not."

God did. Good luck with that. And so,

let's read. We will pray again because

we will need it. And then we will jump

in. Does that sound good? Are y'all with

me this morning? Please do not make me

stand up here alone and be like, "What

in the world is going on in their heads

right now?" All right. It says this, "A

man speaks and says, "How beautiful are

your sandal feet, princess, the curves

of your thighs are like jewelry, the

handiwork of a master. Your navl is a

rounded bowl. It never lacks mixed wine.

Your belly is a mound of wheat

surrounded by liies. Your breasts are

like tuons, twins of gazelle. Your neck

is like a tower of ivory. Your eyes like

pools in hashes by Bathim's gate. Your

nose is like the tower of Lebanon

looking toward Damascus. Your head

crowns you like Mount Carmel. The hair

of your head like purple cloth. A king

could be held captive in your treses.

How beautiful you are and how pleasant

my love with such delights. Your stature

is like a palm tree. Your breasts are

clusters of fruit. I said, "I will climb

that palm tree and take hold of its

fruit." Hello. Uh may your breasts be

like clusters of grapes. We'll talk

about it. Don't worry, folks. We'll talk

about it.

We're done there anyway. No. Uh, so

may your breasts be like clusters of

grapes and the fragrance of your breath

like apricots. Your mouth is like fine

wine. The woman interjects and says

flowing smoothly for my love. Gliding

past my lips and teeth. I am my loves

and his desire is for me. Come my love,

let's go to the field. Let's spend the

night among the henna blossoms. Let's go

early to the vineyards. Let's see if the

vine has budded. If the blossom is

opened, if the pomegranates are in

bloom. There I will give you my

caresses. The mandrekes give off a

fragrance. And at our doors is every

delicacy, both old and new. I have

treasured them up for you, my love. If

only I could treat you like my brother

who nursed at my mother's breasts. I

would find you in public and kiss you

and no one would scorn me. I would lead

you. I would take you to the house of my

mother who taught me. I would give you

spiced wine to drink from the juice of

my pomegranate. May his left hand be

under my head and his right arm embrace

me. Young women of Jerusalem, I charge

you, do not stir up or awaken love until

the appropriate time. Her friends say,

"Who is this coming up from the

wilderness, leaning on the one that she

loves?" The woman says, "I awakened you

under the apricot tree. There your

mother conceived you. There she

conceived and gave you birth. Set me as

a seal on your heart, as a seal on your

arm. For love is as strong as death.

Jealousy is as unrelenting as shol.

Love's flames are fiery flames and

almighty flame. A huge torrent cannot

extinguish love. And rivers cannot sweep

it away. If a man were to give all his

wealth for love, it would be utterly

scorned." For some reason, her brothers

jump in here and say, "Our sister is

young. She has no breasts. What will we

do for our sister on the day she has

spoken for? If she is a wall, we will

build a silver barricade on her. And if

she is a door, we will enclose her with

cedar planks." The woman says, "I am a

wall, and my breasts like towers, so in

his eyes, I have become like one who

finds peace." Solomon owned a vineyard

in Bal Hammon, and he leased the

vineyard to his tenants. Each was to

bring his fruit. 1,000 pieces of silver.

I have my own vineyard. The 1,000 are

for you, Solomon, but 200 for those who

take care of its fruits. The man said,

"You who dwell in the gardens,

companions are listening for your voice.

Let me hear you." And the woman said,

"Run away with me, my love, and be like

a gazelle or a young stag on the

mountains of spices." Sweet mercy. Let's

pray. Um

uh well, Lord, we

are grateful.

Uh Lord, we're grateful for the

testimonies that have come out of our

time uh going through this book. That

Lord is uh a lot uh that Lord it can it

can feel very complicated. It can feel

like it's difficult to understand and

then by the time you understand it, you

not only feel convicted but kind of

blown away by the fact that there's so

much here. Uh and so Father, my prayer

is that you would continue the work that

you began in and through us. Lord, would

you work in the hearts of individuals

but in marriages? God, I pray for the

person that's in here right now and they

feel like they're on their last leg in

their marriage. Uh they're on their last

leg uh in in trying to stay and trying

to make it work. Father, I pray for the

people that are in here that feel like

everything is going all right, but it's

not the fullness of what it could be. Uh

Lord, would you just be at work in our

relationships that we might be a people

that can walk out of here and with

greater confidence say that they are my

lover, they are my friend. Lord, we love

you. We praise you. We ask these things

in Jesus name. Amen.

Well, if you recall Song of Songs,

Song of Solomon 6 · chapter mention

chapter 6 in verse 13, uh what we saw is

that uh Solomon and the Schulomite woman

had navigated this conflict uh that had

been uh fairly intense. And we see that

what she would do is call upon her

friend group to help her navigate this

uh tiff that she was in with her

husband. And so her friends come

alongside. They help uh remind her of

the things that it is that she loves

about her husband. They're wildly

helpful in the midst of this skirmish.

Uh, and then we see that they kind of

enjoy spending some time with their

friend, that it's been a little bit more

difficult since she's gotten married,

but they really have enjoyed being with

her, even if it's been to help she and

her husband navigate, uh, some marital

tensions. Uh, and then we see something

interesting. They will make their desire

to spend time with her known. And in

chapter 6:3, uh, they will say this,

"Come back. Come back, Schulamite. Come

back, come back that we may look at

you." And I absolutely love uh that

Solomon looks at her friends and says uh

how you gaze at the Schulomite as you

look at the dance of two camps which is

Hebrew for saying I so so appreciate

everything that you guys have brought to

the table and the help that you have

shown. I also want you to know that we

have navigated this marital tension and

this conflict and so what we tend to do

from this point is that since we have

made up we are now going to go make out

have a great evening. uh and we see that

they will end up going away and we will

continue on with that here that in the

midst of marital tension we see that

they will not only overcome it but they

will get better through it and I think

that I think that's really significant

for this reason we are living in the

midst of a cultural moment right now uh

that is a little bit concerning it's

very difficult to end up being and

staying married it's very difficult to

become we when we're so focused on me

that everything in the culture and

Everything in our world right now is

moving us away from the idea of any type

of cohesion with another and moving us

towards isolation. That the world has

become somewhat disillusioned with the

idea of marriage because we are so

focused on us. We are so focused on

self. And when self becomes God to find

yourself in a place where you are

feeling inconvenienced by another feels

like sin. When self is God, to be

inconvenienced by another feels like

sin. And so we see that people are

looking at marriage and certainly at

kids and they're like definitely not.

And we're going to these places where

we're going, you know what? Anything

that is going to be a distraction from

me doing what I want, how I want, when I

want is just complete and utter sin. How

could you do that? And I think we see

that people have become critical, even

cynical towards the idea of marriage and

certainly children because they think

it's just this spark, a flame that will

ignite there for a moment and then it

dies out quick and easily as they look

at the landscape of relationships, maybe

even in the homes that they grew up in,

but certainly across our world. And what

I want to do today is convince us that

you do not have to keep some Olympic

torture volcano of a flame going, but

rather how do you keep the embers always

there? How do you make sure that there

is a fire that can endure, that has

resilience? I think the psalmist maybe

put it better in Psalm chapter 1 when he

Psalms 1 · chapter mention

said, "How do we as individuals, but

then really, how do our marriages become

trees that are planted beside flowing

streams? That regardless of what season

we might find ourselves in, the leaves

do not wither, that we're able to stay

strong even in the midst of chaos, even

in the midst of difficulty in our

marriages." And so we see uh that he'll

kind of set the scene in verse one and

give us a template for what it is that

we need to do to keep the embers going

to make sure that the roots are deep

near these streams. And you see in verse

one uh Solomon says something kind of

interesting. He says how beautiful are

your sandal feet, princess, which you

know uh the curves of your thighs are

like jewelry, the handiwork of a master.

Now, if you recall, uh, on wedding

night, uh, Solomon did his best to

describe his bride from head to toe. He

did not get past the equator because he

just started to fumble over his words,

which makes sense. Poor guy. Uh, but we

see that now there's a depth to their

love. There's something different about

their love. And that's evident how that

you see that he's going in reverse. He's

not going to describe her from head to

toe, but rather from her feet to the

crown of her head. that there's a a

symbolism here saying, "Hey, our love

has changed. It's matured. We've been

married for a little bit longer." And

so, as a result of that, we see that the

way that we love one another looks a

little bit different, but it's actually

deeper. It's actually better. And so,

you see that then he says that the

curves of your thighs are like jewelry,

which can sound uh sexual, and it's

really not so much. He's saying the way

that you carry yourself, dignified,

noble, but notice he doesn't credit her

for that. He credits the Lord. He says

that you're the handiwork of a master.

That it reminds us of Ephesians. That

would say that we are God's masterpiece,

workmanship in Christ Jesus. But really

more so, I think it's reminiscent of

what we see in Psalm 139:14 that would

Psalms 139:14

say that we have been fearfully and

wonderfully made. And so, what do we see

Solomon doing here that can be helpful

for us in the midst of our

relationships, in the midst of our

marriages? Well, I think the first thing

that we see is celebration. There's

celebration of one another. Sounds easy,

but how difficult is it to do? Can I get

a sinning witness in this house?

Difficult.

But look at what he says in verse two.

He says, "Your navel is a rounded bowl.

It never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is

a mound of wheat surrounded by liies."

Uh when he says, "Your navl is a rounded

bowl," all I'm going to say is that uh

this is very intimate and sensual

language, and I'll let you just kind of

I'm gonna leave you with the details of

that uh to yourself, but he's using

intimate language. And he says, "And it

never lacks mixed wine." What is he

saying there? He's saying that uh you

haven't lost a step, baby. That's what

he's saying. He's saying, "Hey, I know

that we've been married for a little

bit. I got some miles on me. You have

less miles on you. You still look

amazing. But our marriage has some

miles." And he's saying that you are

still physically as sexually

intoxicating to me as you were on the

day that we got married. I don't know

what you think about you, but I think a

lot about you. And he's saying, "I

really like what I'm seeing even to this

day." And so, we see he is just doing so

well at this point. You're like, "That a

boy, Solomon. That's my guy. That's how

you do And then he says, "Let me also

just say to you, baby, that your belly

is like a mound of wheat." And you're

like, "Ooh,

calling her belly a mound

seems wrong." So, no guy leave here and

be like, you know, honey, I was just

reading the scriptures and I just wanted

to tell you your belly is like a sack of

potatoes, honey. Uh, like, don't do

that. Do not do that. That will land you

on a couch, sir. Uh, you'll be like,

well, it's in the scripture. And I'm

like, I'm pretty sure God's not saying

that. And so what's going on? Uh what we

see and what we really need to be aware

of is that on the ancient Jewish

calendar, there were really two

festivals that were agricultural

festivals that were really tied in with

specific foods. So uh you see here that

we're talking about wheat uh and wine,

staple foods that you would find on any

ancient Jewish table that you would

still find at a table today. And here's

what's interesting is that wheat or

grain is associated with the feast of

weeks. uh the feast of wheats would be

celebrated in the springtime 7 weeks

after the Passover. We see that whenever

the wheat and the grain was being

harvested that there would be this

celebration and you would offer the

wheat or grain as a first fruits

offering to the Lord. And it was a

celebration of the Lord's provision for

this nation. Then you see also that wine

would be associated with a different

festival with the feast of boos that

would happen later in the fall. And so

it would follow the in gathering of

grapes and olives. And naturally after

the gathering of all of these grapes,

there was a mass production in Israel of

wine. And wine would be this drink of

celebration and joy as we've seen

described multiple times in the Song of

Song. So what exactly is he saying when

he says that your navl is a rounded

bowl? It never lacks mixed wine. Your

belly is a mound of re wheat surrounded

by liies. He's saying we have a healthy

covenantal love. He's saying that this

is lifegiving. There's provision,

there's celebration, there's joy here.

He's saying we have that together. And

so as he goes on in verse three, you see

that he does what he does. He says,

"Your breasts are like two fawns, twins

of a gazelle." He's a guy. He kind of

just has a couple things he keeps going

back to. Uh and so he's just like, "Hey,

after all these years, the fawns and I

are still friends." So uh grateful for

that. Uh and we see that he's still

thrilled with her and the way that she

looks. And so in verse four he says that

your neck is like a tower of ivory, your

eyes like pools in Heshbun by Baim's

gate, your nose is like the tower of

Lebanon looking toward Damascus.

Neck again if you recall uh is not just

a symbol but is a literal representation

of one's character. That to have your

neck down would indicate that there's

some kind of humiliation associated with

you, but to have your neck strained

would say that you're probably stubborn

on some level. And so we see here uh

that when he says a tower of ivory,

towers in particular would have been

militaristic. Uh it would have been a a

site that would have indicated not only

are they dignified in some way, but

there's strength there. It would have

been very visible to enemies. And so you

would you would recognize, hey, these

are not boundaries to be pressed, but

rather there's respect that needs to be

shown here. And so he says something

interesting as he continues on. He says

that your eyes are like pools in Heshbun

by Bathraim's gate. Uh, and I think

that's uh really interesting because

scholars have wondered like why would he

say that? Heshban is in a Moabitete

region outside of their purview. And so

it's kind of weird that he would say

something like that. But the idea is

that when he looks into her eyes, there

is uh something otherworldly, surreal.

There's a depth to her uh that he really

appreciates and loves. And so I think

it's interesting that whenever we look

at that particular portion and we look

at what King Solomon's occupation is as

the king, there's something significant

being said to say that your eyes are

like pools in Heshbon by Bthrabim's

gate. Understand that city gates were a

big deal that by the city gates that is

where you would see the epicenter of

civic and public life. It's where you

would have legal proceedings, public

meetings. It's where you would have

trade that was going on. And Solomon is

saying here that in the chaos and the

shallowess of this world, all of these

worldly negotiations and things that are

going on, I want you to know that there

is a calmness and a depth when I look in

your eyes that brings me peace. That in

the frantic and frenetic pace of life

when I look at you, what I see is that

you are still water. You are peace in

the chaos. And I think that's

significant for us to notice here. He's

celebrating her. Divine teammates often

can become roommates whenever we find

ourselves replacing celebration with

assumption. You know what I mean? This

guy's the king. His life is crazy. I

don't have the responsibilities that

Solomon has. But have you ever just

hypothetically found yourself in a place

I've never done this. I'm sure you have.

Uh where uh you find yourself in a place

where like work is crazy or something's

crazy in your life and you

hypothetically speaking would never do

this, but I've heard that y'all do it.

uh bring it home with you,

you know,

and it's not that your spouse has done

anything wrong, but man, you're looking

for it when you get home. Franticness

and the frenetic pace of life. You come

home and they're just like, "Hey, how

you doing?" It's like, "Why are you

talking to me like that?" I What's wrong

with you? you know, all of a sudden you

find you're assuming the worst about

them because of other things that are

going on in your life that you can start

to elevate their flaws, downplay all of

the beautiful things that they bring to

the table. Solomon won't do that. He's

saying, "Hey, I know that there are a

lot of chaotic things going on in our

world, but this us, there's something

significant here. We celebrate one

another because we are on each other's

team. We bring peace to each other. We

bring joy. There's provision here.

There's something beautiful going on."

And so you see in verses 4-6 he says

your nose is like the tower of Lebanon

looking towards Damascus which is not

him being like how you doing Pinocchio

that's him saying um uh the tower again

it's dignified its strength it's defense

this is actually uh rather beautiful

statement from Solomon I think

oftentimes rightfully so whenever we

talk about feeling safe we're talking

about women uh in the arms of men do you

feel safe with this guy for good reason

we ask that question right But I think

on the flip side, oftentimes on a more

emotional and and vulnerable uh from an

emotional and vulnerable place, we see

that he's kind of indicating to her, I

feel safe with you. I I feel like I can

be my full self with you, and I don't

feel like I'm I'm out of bounds or

judged or any anything is super off with

that, but rather you get me. And so, he

continues on and he celebrates her

continually. He says, "Your head crowns

you like Mount Carmel. The hair of your

head is like purple cloth. A king could

be held captive in your treses. how

beautiful you are and how pleasant my

love with such delights. Uh he's talking

about um heads and crowns and and what

he's saying is if you ever were to look

at the Mediterranean uh and you were to

see that there is a mountain range

there, Mount Carmel kind of crowns the

land in some way. And so he's saying in

the same way uh you are like that. He's

talking about crowns. He's talking about

purple cloth. Purple dye would have been

something that was used for those that

were royal. You had to be wealthy in

order to have that. And so he's saying

there's a royalty. There's there's value

in you. I celebrate you for all that you

are. Royal, beautiful, valuable, all the

things. There's celebration.

The second thing is that there's

recreation.

Fun. Could anybody use more fun in their

marriage?

>> You all doing good? You good? You here?

The answer is yes. It's not a trick

question. It's like some of you are

like, "How do I say this to them? How

did I say ju just say it. Just say it."

recreation.

Look at what happens here in verse seven

and 8. Solomon says, and I quote,

"Your stature is like a palm tree. Your

breasts are clusters of fruit." I said,

"I will climb the palm tree and take

hold of its fruit. May your breasts be

like clusters of grapes and the

fragrance of your breath like apricots."

Um, uh, do I need to explain this

anymore than what's been listed there

for us?

>> No.

No.

I just need you to understand what just

happened.

I've got some people over here going,

"Do it." And I've got an elder over here

going, "Do not."

I've got the good angel on this side and

Satan on this one. I'm like,

"So, we're going to do it." No, I'm

kidding. Uh uh.

Men were like, "I thought I found my

life verse."

And then we got to Song of Songs 7:7.

Song of Solomon 7:7

I think this would be a good time, and

this is all I'll leave you with, is that

2 Timothy 3:16 says that all scripture

2 Timothy 3:16

is breathed out by God. Profitable for

teaching, rebuking, correcting, and

training in righteousness. Happy

training, folks. We see in verses 9 and

10

that Solomon and the Schulomite woman

have this really uh kind of fun moment.

This is my one of my favorite uh

exchanges in all of Song of Songs. Uh,

we see that Solomon begins and he says

to his bride, "Your mouth is like fine

wine." She interrupts him and she says,

"Flowing smoothly for my love, gliding

past my lips and teeth. I'm my loves and

his desire is for me." Calm down, honey.

Uh, do you notice what's going on here?

Solomon had a tough week last week. You

know,

he's knocking on the door, laying down

the compliments. My sister, my darling,

my dove, my perfect one, all the things.

He's saying all the things and she's

just like, "And no." know. And so he's

feeling all this rejection. Uh and now

we see uh that they've worked through it

and my man is consistent if nothing

else. But he starts

and she's the one that says, "Let me

help you out here, son. I love here that

they were fighting last week and now

they're finishing each other's

sentences." They were fighting and now

they're finishing each other's

sentences. They were fighting and now

that they've worked through it, they

immediately get back to a place of fun.

they're having fun. That yes, they find

themselves in a place where they're

having some friction in the

relationship. And yet, we see that

they've gotten back to a place of

recreation. That there's celebration

between them. She feels valued. He feels

validated. We see that the friction in

their relationship is they've got some

external things they need to navigate

and some internal things that are going

on between them that they have to get

honest about. And so, they move to a

place of restoration. How? They're quick

to say, "Sorry." He's not like, "Well, I

think I was only 38% wrong. and I think

the rest was her. And so she's the one.

No, no, no, no. Let they're not doing

that. They move to a place of

reconciliation quickly. And so now

they're at a place of of recreation.

They can have fun in this again. He

starts, you can almost hear the fun and

the laughter in it, can't you? That he's

like, "Your mouth is like fine wine."

She's like, "Let me stop you there.

Flowing down smoothly for you." That we

see that there's almost some joy and

laughter here. Listen, fun is not

optional in the marriage. It's oxygen

for the marriage. That laughter is often

the sound of a healthy marriage. that's

breathing. And we see that they're

having a good time with one another.

That yes, we fight and yet at the same

time we make up and they do so swiftly.

And you see that in verses 9 through 11,

she says that your mouth is like fine

wine flowing smoothly for my love,

gliding past my lips and teeth. I'm my

loves and his desires for me. Come my

love, let's go to the field. Let's spend

the night among the henna blossoms. Uh

that could be uh a little like what what

exactly is going on there? Another

translation says this, "Come, my

beloved, let us go out into the fields

and lodge in the villages," which is a

little too on the nose in Florida, but I

think uh at the same time, you know what

I'm saying? It's like the villages, man.

Woo.

What are you going to the villages for?

You know, um

some of y'all are like, "My mom lives

there. Stop it." Like, um

he's initiating.

She's responding.

And what is she saying? She's saying,

"We need room

now."

And I realize like this all sounds like

good. And some of y'all are like, "If

you dude, you have no idea what's going

on in my marriage right now. You have no

idea like the season of I I realize that

marital seasons certainly change on some

level." And listen, I haven't gone

through every season of marriage. I'm

53, but I haven't been through all of

them. And I think uh you know, we'll

talk about that later. That's there's a

few things I could say about that. Uh

but it it's interesting.

He's initiating and she's responding.

And I love how both of them are handling

this situation. Um, he initiates and she

feels valued and safe. He's he's not

being uh over the top. He's not being

crude, but he's he's celebrating her.

Uh, and then we see that she's saying,

"We need a room." Which is essentially

saying, "You need to get to planning."

And he will, by the way, he will. Uh,

and that's significant for this reason.

Like, guys, you ever think about uh like

we know how to plan things

unless it involves our marriage on some

level. You know, like you could plan a

hunting trip. I don't hunt, but I've

heard you people talk about it and it

should you got it all planned out. Like

everything you're going to do. Golfing

trip. I mean, you've got the plan down.

You're like, I got it. I'll take it from

here. But when it comes to our

marriages, we're kind of like, I don't

know. I don't know. What do you want to

do? Like, like, we just struggle with

planning, but we see that he'll plan.

And what I love is that you notice the

way that she responds when he initiates

ladies. The thing that I love is that

she's not like, "Stop it, you icky

sicky." Like, she doesn't do that.

She she's like, "Yeah, we need some

alone time."

And so she responds in a way that is

healthy. And we see that he has

celebrated her in a way that is healthy.

And I realize every season and situation

is not the same. So nobody needs to go

off on the you don't understand. I like

there could be health complications.

There could be kid complications.

Whatever that might be, which by the

way, can we just go ahead and throw out

there just for just so we can define our

terms for future messages. A trip is

when you take the kids. a vacation is

when it's just mom and dad, you know

what I mean? So, just so we're

there's a lot of pain in the clapping

there. Uh and so I think we understand

this, right? Uh and like listen, uh it

doesn't have to be something crazy

extravagant. It doesn't it doesn't have

to be some crazy night out. It can be a

wellplanned night in. Listen, I'll I'll

tell you like whenever you think about

like someone being uh broke.

Um there's there's broke and then

there's whatever Lindsay and I were uh

our first year of marriage, which was

borderline homeless. And uh uh I'll tell

like some of you have heard this before,

but uh the first apartment that we ever

lived in, every time we would go

somewhere, we smelled like smoke because

the only thing that we could afford uh

was an apartment where smokers had

previously lived in it and it had a

brown recluse infestation. So it was 550

bucks a month because

it wasn't even worth that, right?

And what we would do for fun and wanted

to plan an intentional night in is I

would be like, "All right, it's time to

spend the big bucks. I'm going to

McDonald's and I'm getting us two sweet

teas, $2.18.

We are balling right now." And we would

come back and we would be like, "This is

amazing. We have our own place. We're

talking to each other. We're married.

We're figuring out what to do. We have

sweet tea. We thought it was amazing."

And so listen, it doesn't have to be

something crazy extravagant. I think

often times we're like, "Well, it's just

going to take a lot." It doesn't take a

lot. It takes the ability to be able to

look across from one another and have a

conversation about where you are. Uh

it's amazing uh how difficult it can be

for us to do really simple things. But

what I love here is that you don't have

to do something crazy extravagant.

Though they're going to go on a trip, it

can be just a wellplanned night in, but

they're going to go somewhere. And it's

at her behest that you see that

Schulamite woman would say in verses 11

and 12, "Come my love, let's go to the

field. Let's spend the night among the

henna blossoms or fields in the lodge

and the villages. Let's go early to the

vineyards. Let's see if the vine has

budded, if the blossom has opened, if

the pomegranates are in bloom. And there

I will give you my caresses. Uh the

desire here is not uh purely sexual.

It's also personal. And what we see the

third thing we need to recognize is that

there's cultivation. There's cultivation

of the marriage. uh verse 11 and 12 when

she says let's go early see if the vine

budded bloss blossom opened pomegranates

bloomed there I'll give you my caresses

notice that the springtime is really

like their time like the spring is just

whenever they like to go and hang out

and have their trips and things are

really going well for them and so this

is a special time in their marriage that

they continually find themselves coming

back to so you see that he's clear that

during this particular season he's going

to initiate and she's going to invite

intimacy she says says, "There I will

give you my caresses or there I will

give you my love." Uh, and this is more

than just a sexual invitation. This is

about relational cultivation.

Relational cultivation. And and I think

that's important for us to recognize.

Uh, we're we're living in this time

right now where uh there's not much

cultivation of but more resignation from

marriage.

It's interesting in the United Kingdom,

the number one reason that people found

themselves wanting to get divorced is

that they called it quote unreasonable

behavior. Uh in America, we call that

irreconcilable differences. Uh and when

I looked at all of these different pages

from lawyers and comments, the number

one thing that was said is quote, "We

just fell out of love." Uh and the thing

that I'd like to just very gently submit

to us is that you can't fall out of love

anymore than you fell out of shape.

It's got to be cultivated. You got to

invest in it. It's not that the love

dies out and there's just nothing that

we could do about it. It's just that we

didn't do anything about it. That you've

got to throw kindling on the fire. Of

course, the embers will burn out. And

here's the thing is is I think we hear

that and a lot of us and and just let me

just get on a soap box here for a second

is a lot of times I have people, well,

I've tried. I'm trying. And I understand

there are extenduating circumstances

where we see that even in the scriptures

divorce is permitted though God hates

it. I think we need to understand though

is a lot of times I had a conversation

with a guy this week and he's like well

I just can't do that. And I was like you

can't do what? He said well I I just I

can't sit across from my wife. It's

really awkward for me to tell her how I

feel. I was like I don't care.

Do it anyway. You can tell all of the

people that are employed by you that you

think they're doing a good job, but you

can't look your wife in the face and

tell her that you love her.

What's wrong with us? Why can't we do

that? If we would just write a note

every day, one thing, and tell your

spouse what you appreciate about them.

Put it on the mirror, put it in their

car, whatever it looks like. It's

amazing what would happen. Here's the

thing. People will be like, "Well, I

don't know what to do from here." We've

got to do the work at some point. got to

do the work. And I know that there's a

lot of pain from people that are going

through extenduating circumstances. But

I'm not going to dull down what God has

to say about it because of extenduating

circumstances. That God wants us to

flourish in this area, but it's going to

take work. It's going to take work. They

are committed to the cultivation of

this. They're going to do it in the

chaos of their world. This guy runs

nations. He's saying, "We got to go get

alone." And she's saying, "We got to go

get alone." And so you see that the

Schulomite woman will say, "The

mandrekes give off a fragrance. And at

our doors is every delicacy, both new

and old. I've treasured them up for you,

my love. Mandrekes, fragrance. That's an

aphrodesiac. You can go all the way back

to Genesis." And they're saying, "This

is going to be fun." And whenever they

go to get away, they're not like, "We're

just going to get away and you're gonna

read your Kindle and I'm just going to

scroll on my phone." Uh, no. Rather,

they're going to get away. And when they

get away, uh, she's got some plans. this

is a little risque, so take it up with

God again. Uh, but she's like, "Hey,

there's going to be some things old and

new."

She's saying, "There's things that we do

when we love one another." And she's

like, "And

let's see what else happens." And he's

like, "Twist my arm. I guess we'll do

it." Uh, and so they go to this cottage

and you see in verse one that she says,

"If only I could treat you like my

brother, one who nursed at my mother's

breast, I would find you in public and

kiss you

and no one would score me.

If only I could treat you like my

brother,

a nurse at my mom's breast. What's going

on?

What's going on,

man?

again. She's not from Tuscaloosa.

She ain't advocating for incest.

None of that stuff's happening.

Uh but PDA

was super frowned upon. Unless it was

family and you're holding hands or

kissing or something like that. And

listen, can we just can we just as a

church make a covenant right now and

just say and PDA also just needs to calm

down out there right now. You ever I

mean I I can't even go to Disney

anymore. Are you getting a Disney line

and people are just like there's nobody

else here, right? I'm like, nope, we're

all RIGHT HERE. WHAT IS GOING ON? UH

like what's up with these people?

She's saying, "Hey, I I I am so excited

about our time way that I wish I could

just hold your hand and kiss you and do

all things, right?" She's excited. And

so in verses 2 through 4, she says, "I

would lead you. I would take you to the

house of my mother who taught me. I

would give you spiced wine to drink from

the juice of my pomegranate. I want to

give all myself to you. May his left

hand be under my head and his right arm

embrace me. Uh which is uh certainly

sexual. Uh and we see that she mentioned

that in chapter 2 if you recall that she

also talked about his arm being behind

her head and under her. Uh and and in

that moment though she was saying to all

of her friends, hey, do not awaken love

until the appropriate time. This is her

coming back around and saying

it's time.

And so I think we need to recognize that

there's a commitment. There is a

commitment to cultivation of the

marriage, not resignation from the

marriage. And I say that because I would

imagine that there are some people in

here and you're really probably toying

with the idea uh that if you could just

get out of this and go find another that

then things would be great. That the

grass might be greener on the other

side.

And the grass is greener where you water

it.

where it's cultivated and where people

stayed to work and make sure that it

looked nice.

That healthy marriages do not happen

naturally, but intentionally. And

they're committed to the cultivation of

this relationship. Now, you get to the

ending here, beginning in verse 5, and

I'll be honest with you, verses 5

through 14 could be an entire sermon in

and of themselves, but I I feel like we

can do them justice in the limited time

that we have. And also uh I think Song

of Songs has been great and it's time to

move on. Uh but we see uh in Song of

Song of Solomon 8:5

Songs 8:5 things really turn. Um the

conversation has been about the love

that these two share and now it's really

going to start talking about the essence

and the nature of love itself. And so

you see that it's interesting her

friends will kind of chime back in and

they say, "Who is this coming up from

the wilderness leaning on the one that

she loves?" You recall that whenever

they were getting married and they were

going to go to the altar and make their

vows and all the things, they said the

same thing. Who is this coming up from?

The wilderness, which is Exodus

language, that God had brought his

people from the captivity of Egypt. He

led them through the wilderness into the

land of promise. And we see that not

only did God bring them out of that

captivity, not only did God bring these

two to the altar, but also he's

continued to sustain them and been with

them. And so, we see that they're using

that phrase again. And as they're coming

back from their trip away, there's this

real moment of affection from this wife

to her husband. She's leaning on him.

And we see that they're recognizing

that. And the Schulomite woman says, "I

awakened you under the apricot tree and

there your mother conceived you. There

she gave you birth." Um, she's using

awakened like a metaphor. She's saying

that uh your mother awakened you in the

sense that she gave you life. She's

saying I awakened you in the sense that

you understand romance and love. And so

she's saying that it's like being under

the apricot tree which was sensual to

the ancients and would have been

something that you see going way way

back even before this in your Old

Testament. But I think what's

interesting is that she's really linking

the idea of life and love and the

importance of those things. And so she

says in verse six, I think what might be

the most significant thing of all of the

rest of this passage here. She says,

"Set me as a seal on your heart, as a

seal on your arm, for love is as strong

as death and jealousy is unrelenting as

shiel. Love's flames are fiery flames

and almighty flame." Seal would be made

of uh stone or wood. uh and it would

have been something that had an

unmistakable image that went back to you

and you would press it into clay or wax

and it would be a way of saying this

belongs to me. It was how you would

authenticate correspondence if you were

someone of wealth or certainly if you

were the king. And so we see here that

she's saying hey I want everyone to know

set me like a seal on your arm. Set me

like a seal not just on your arm but

also on your heart. She's saying you're

my lover. You're my friend. We belong to

each other. And so she's saying when she

uses that word seal that we need to

understand romantic love demands

fidelity and loyalty.

It demands fidelity and loyalty. To be

set like a seal is to say, "Hey, this is

not a contract. This is a covenant." Uh

that we are bound to one another

regardless. We are not just useful for a

service. Rather, we are with one another

and just with one another.

And she says that love is as strong as

death, which is powerful imagery. She

says, "Death is strong. There's no doubt

about it. But only love can conquer it."

And we see that Jesus would face death

in Gethsemane when he went to the cross.

We understand, especially on this side

of the cross, how love conquers death.

And we see that evident in the way that

our king saved us. But you can even go

uh to lesser examples, but still

significant examples, and see that love

has a willingness to look death in the

face and say, "No, love will take a

bullet. Love will jump on a bomb. Love

will do all of these extraordinary

things where you hear unbelievable

stories of men and women and what

they've done in the name of love. Love

is willing to look death in the face and

stand up to it. But also it says that

it's jealousy is as unrelenting as shol

which is to talk about the grave. Uh

that the grave is jealous. Anyone that's

lost someone knows the pain is in going.

I won't see you on this side of heaven.

And the grave does not share. You can't

go to a loved one's grave site and be

like they're free on Thursdays at three.

Like it's just it just takes there's it

feels like this hopeless except for you

know that love stands up to it. Says

that the grave is jealous but love is

greater and that's significant. I think

oftenimes when we hear that God is a

jealous God a lot of people will be like

well God's petty and and you know how

could he be like that? It's like well

well wait a minute wait a minute is is

that the case? God only permits jealousy

on two different occasions. Him being

jealous that you shall have no other

gods before him because there aren't any

others and then also the marriage bed.

Like being jealous in that instance

isn't weird.

It would be bizarre if one of you walked

up to me at the end of this gathering

and said, "Hey man, good to see you.

Appreciate the word today. Hey, uh I was

wondering, can I take your wife out

tonight at 7?" And if I was just like,

"Oh, dude, cool. As long you have back

by 10, LIKE THAT'D BE GREAT. LIKE WHAT?

NO,

not in the least macho way imaginable.

It would make more sense if I punched

that person in the face and you'd be

like, "Well, turn the other cheek and

stuff." NO, NOT IN that instance. That

ain't going to work. And if you're to be

like, "Why did you do that?" I was like,

"So they wanted to take my wife out."

You'd be like, "Get it." Like, you know,

that's the way that would work.

Jealousy

is only right in certain instances. And

here certainly romantic love, love that

binds

is loyal, fidelity there. It's

interesting. People really uh in this

day and age seem to think that

marriage is just like this really

restrictive thing, really terrible.

And so there's a lot of shots that are

being thrown out there at the idea of

monogous relationships. And Luis Perry,

whose book I've cited multiple times in

this study in the case against the

sexual revolution, had this to say to

people that were like, "Well, I just

don't think that monogamy is realistic."

Like, I mean, I want to be able to sleep

with whoever I want, when I want. I

don't want there to be feelings

attached, like any of those things. She

said this, I thought was fascinating,

which by the way, she was a feminist and

atheist. She became a Christian after

writing this book.

She said, 'W while the monogous marriage

model may be relatively unusual for

some, it's also spectacularly

successful. When monogamy is imposed on

a society, the society becomes richer,

has lower rates of of both child abuse

and domestic violence. So, get married.

Do your best to stay married. Some

critics of marriage are right to say

that at times it's been used as a

vehicle for the control of women. But

where critics go wrong is when they

argue that there's a better system.

There's not.

There's something about the way that God

designed this that's right.

And in verse 7, the Schulomite woman

would say, "A huge torrent cannot

extinguish love. Rivers cannot sweep it

away. If a man were to give all of his

wealth for love, it would be utterly

scorned. Torrancets and waters. Nothing

was scarier to the ancients than the

sea. It was uncontrollable." But she's

saying waters can't extinguish love.

That there's no flame that is as intense

as love. And we see that she says here

something fascinating. If a man were to

give all his wealth for love, it would

be utterly scorned. Think about the

things that men have done with wealth

and for wealth.

What are you willing to do for money?

She says, "And yet that pales in the

face in comparison

to love? You can't buy it." And things

get a little bit weird in verse eight

when all of a sudden her brothers pull

back up

and it's like, "Does do does she have

another sister? Like what's going on?"

Her brothers say, "How do we handle when

our sister is eligible to date?"

essentially where she can be wed. They

say, "Our sister is young. She has no

breast." That's just their way of saying

she's young. What will we do for our

sister on the day that she is spoken

for? If she's a wall, we will build a

silver barricade on her. And if she's a

door, uh, we will enclose her with cedar

planks. And you're like, "What? What?

What's going on right here?" Um, earlier

you recall that the only time that we

see her brothers mentioned is when she's

kind of in a fight with her brothers.

The Schulamite woman says, "Hey, I can't

take care of my own vineyard, my body,

because I'm working in our actual

vineyard where our family does some

work." And she says, "My mother's sons,"

she doesn't even call them brothers.

She's like, "Yeah, those those losers,

like, uh, it's their fault. I'm out here

because they need me apparently and

don't know how to do anything unless I

get involved. So, here I am, and my skin

is a little bit rough." Uh, but now we

see that, um, if you notice, her father

has not been mentioned at all. more than

likely has died, but her mother and

brothers are alive. And we see that they

have had this sense of responsibility

around their sister and not only her

getting married, but around her

sexuality as well. And so they're

saying, "Hey, what do we do when we have

a sister that is eligible to be wed? How

can we help her? What do we do when

she's spoken for?" And they say, uh, if

she's a wall, which is saying if she's

remained chased, uh, if she has not been

promiscuous in any type of a way, uh,

then we'll have a silver barricade,

which is just, uh, is a play on words

and is supposed to be funny. You don't

barricade anything with silver. Silver

is silver is expensive. And so they're

joking. They're they're saying, "Hey, I

mean, if if she's a wall um, and she

marries a good guy with good character

and everything's fine, uh, then we'll

pull up with silver." Like, "Good job.

We're proud of you." like like no issue.

But if she's a door, which is to say if

she is a promiscuous woman on some

level, uh then we're going to do

something about that. We we've got to

figure out how to help her. What do we

do?

The Schulomite woman says, "I am a wall

and my breasts are like towers." Just

means she's a grown woman. She says, "So

to him, I have become like one who finds

peace." She said, "I found my peace and

flourishing in my relationship."

And then she says, "Solomon owned a

vineyard in Bal Hammon. He leased the

vineyard to tenants. Each was to bring

his fruit. 1,000 pieces of silver. I

have my own vineyard. It's difficult to

say what's going on here. She says, "The

thousand are for you, Solomon, but 200

are for those who take care of its

fruits. It probably was a thousand uh

pieces of silver in order to lease the

field. And it was probably the 200 that

she talks about is paying homage to her

brothers and the work that they've done

with it."

And so we see that with Solomon and the

Schulomite woman. He says, "You dwell in

the gardens. Companions are listening

for your voice. Let me hear you." And

she says, "Run away with me, my love,

and be like a gazelle or a young stag on

the mountains of spice." She says,

"Let's go have some fun, stud.

Here's the thing.

The hardest thing about walking through

relationships on any level is that I

know that as we're talking about it, all

of you come in here with some level of

baggage.

And maybe you feel like you're doing

like you're really great. That's great.

But for the most part, that's that's not

the case just from my conversations.

Like not even sort of.

And I think the fact of the matter is

you can see this and you feel like even

if they fight, they handle things

relatively well. If only people could

know everything going on in your

circumstance. It feels broken beyond

belief. All these things. I just came

back to this

realization of the picture in the Old

Testament of Hosea and Goomemer that

Hosea is a prophet that God calls to

call out Israel's unfaithfulness,

their idolatry.

And he calls him to marry this woman,

Goomemer, who is

been a prostitute. She's given herself

away,

but he marries this woman. They have

kids. They build a life. And then at

some point, uh, she runs away. She finds

herself with another man, more than

likely as an indentured servant or

there's some level of enslavement

because God calls Hosea to go and find

her and buy her back with a restoration

price.

And so he does.

And God is demonstrating

to Hosea how it is that he operates

towards his people. that there is no

circumstance or situation that is too

disgusting or wrong or far gone where he

will not continue his pursuit of his

people. And I think for many of us, we

are so individualistic

with where we live in the world that we

think, I understand that for me, but I

don't know that God can do it with we.

And my challenge to you is to try it.

Say, God, I feel like I understand what

it is that I'm supposed to do. I

understand what it is that you're saying

to me, but I just don't know that for

him or for her that it's going through.

I would challenge you to in this moment,

take the time if you need to come down

to the altar, talk to someone, don't

harbor resentment or pain or anything

that you feel like, well, if this is

great for some, it's not great for me.

It's good news for you, too.

that if God can take those of us who are

once far off and bring us near by the

blood of Christ, those of us that have

repented of our sins and believe in him

and have trusted in his finished work,

know all that he's done for us. If he

can secure our eternity, why do you

think that he cannot work within your

marriage and do something beautiful?

And we're believing that he can.

And so Lord, we bring not only

ourselves, but our relationships to you.

The ones that

feel solid and the ones that feel like

they're anything but secure.

Uh Lord, would this just be

a place of humility and repentance,

radical self-donation to one another,

falling on our face at the altar,

leaning on each other's shoulder in this

room, praying with one another, seeking

you, Lord,

to build up our marriages

that we might be a people that can say,

"This is my lover. This is my friend. I

am theirs and they are mine." Lord, we

love you. We praise you. We ask these

things in Jesus name. Amen.