Marriage & Family 4

Let's go ahead and begin tonight talking about marriage.

This is our fourth.

It just didn't seem right to leave it hanging.

We had to wrap it up and then later on we're going to make a better commitment to work in marriage and family things more often into our calendar.

I know Claire and Jimmy Smith I'm sorry, I don't remember all the people who taught the family series.

Who am I leaving out?

Oh, laurie Sterling yes, she did awesome.

Anyways, talking about raising kids, and it was so rich that it could be like a curriculum or a book on its own right.

And so we want to get that content out more publicly on a Sunday morning and get it into the hands of people who need it.

So, even if you're a grandparent, you're able to use those skills.

And so, again, like this, we're teaching on marriage, but maybe you're single.

You can use this information as revelation and prepare your heart for one of the most important decisions that you'll ever make Amen.

And so we want to set you up for success.

I was ministering to somebody on Sunday and encouraging this young man who's engaged that hey, don't leave us out of the process.

Give us a call.

We'd love to give you some advice.

We'd love to speak over you good things.

And so you know, here we are, we're teaching on it, right.

So you know, we're just kind of go going through a little bit of a of a recap over what we've we've done.

The first three messages.

So we taught, I think, part two, but pastor covered part one and part three and we talked a whole lot about godly communication because we covered it and dad covered it and he, but he added so many new things and just took it to the next level.

So deeper, much deeper.

But anyway, we've talked about Christian dating and the family of God and you know, and how marriage points us all the way back to the beginning.

Right, it started in the garden with Adam and Eve and then, I believe, james preached a really good message using that example and that was really awesome.

I didn't go back and hear that, but I heard all of the pre and the post on that, so he preached it to my dad and I in the office one morning before he preached it to y'all.

It was just so good and so let's start out with you want to make a confession?

Let's make it.

Sure, Before we make a confession, we do have a couple of resources out in the lobby for those of you.

Of course, you can go back and listen and watch the last three messages, but we also have five love languages for couples and then conversation starters, and then we also have this one christian dating 101 accountability traps to avoid when dating.

Roles and dating realizing that singleness is a gift.

Roles in dating realizing that singleness is a gift.

And so If you're single.

I would strongly suggest you grab that one, but also if you're you know, maybe your son or your grandson or daughters, et cetera.

You can grab it for them as well.

Yeah, for sure, there are many great, you know resources out there, and so if you guys want one, there's some out in the lobby, so yeah we can start out with the carpet.

We're sitting down, we don't have to stand up.

We always stand up, but not tonight.

Let's hold up our Bible, let's make Jesus glad or the devil mad.

Let's say this together Say, heavenly Father, heavenly Father, we honor your word.

We look to it as a mirror and it reflects back the lives that we should live.

So we open up our heart and our minds for change.

Tonight we're committed to change.

We're committed to get it right, we're committed to make it right and we're walking in the fullness of our covenant with you and with our spouse, jesus name.

Amen.

And so I just let's start.

We're just, we're calling this Keys to a Successful Marriage, and we got a lot of this content from all over really, but just you know, from our own experiences mainly.

But we were listening to several weeks ago, we were listening to an older message by Pastors Aaron Hankins and Aaron Cody Hankins, his wife, and so we got some of these points from them.

But I'm telling you they're really powerful.

But we're going to be adding our spin to it and talking a lot about.

So we have 10.

So if you're taking notes, you can you know.

There are many more keys to successful marriage, but these are good.

They're biblical, and I just I think I said this the last time and then and then dad said it too but just, you know, in marriage, so many times we we leave out the best part, we forget the word of faith, principles in marriage, and we relate to one another from everybody else's marriage or maybe the way we've always done it.

Maybe you weren't saved when you got married and so you've changed, but you've not changed.

Maybe your communication between each other and certain other things have changed.

Or there's so many different worldly influences that can creep in, whether it's pornography or even soap operas, novelas no, seriously, like romance novels.

There's all kind of evil influences, but just also just ways where comparison when you start comparing your spouse to someone else, and why aren't they treating me this way?

And then you're like a victim and you're man, I deserve to be treated this way, and then you walk around as and so, and then you walk around as a victim, and then and then that comparison kills your whole relationship.

And so we need to get back to the word of God, where we first it renews our mind and it renews it in every area.

But you know, it can renew your mind to the, to God's way of marriage.

And I would just, if you're, if you're listening right now and you're struggling in your marriage, I would really get out the end of Ephesians 5, where the Apostle Paul is telling us to honor our wives as Christ loved I'm sorry, to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and he's telling our wives to honor your husband.

And when you sow honor, you're going to reap honor, ladies.

But again, if you're having some relationship issues, you're going to get nuggets of truth tonight.

But I just encourage you to don't forget your word of faith principles.

God responds to faith and I'm telling you there's nothing too hard for God and God can turn this thing around.

You know, there's so many people that get divorced for the craziest, simplest of reasons, and then some people get divorced for real reasons, where you have a spouse that's broken the covenant and maybe they've broken it over and, over and over again and you have a right, you have a biblical, you're in the clear and you can get a divorce right now and Jesus won't be mad at you.

That does happen, that can happen.

But there's also hope and so if you're willing to not quit, god's willing to not quit, and we've seen the hardest situations turned around, amen.

And so, uh, never underestimate the power of a seed that is sown and that can germinate in your spouse's life.

Maybe you're married to, you're unequally yoked and you're married to somebody who's not saved.

We've seen that over and over and over again.

You know God touched their heart and, uh, and, and he really does, he, he has his ability to take your spouse's heart and turn it towards you and to turn it towards him.

And uh, and amazing things happen anyways.

So let's start out by with number one.

And, uh, I'm going to take this one because I need the help the most.

Please apologize quickly.

Apologize quickly.

What do we say around here?

I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me.

Anybody ever heard that before?

Are we good at it now?

I'm sorry, what's that?

Oh, I love you, okay, love you.

Bye.

Anyways, inside joke.

That's an inside joke.

We were on a youth trip and he said you know you've said love you every time you've hung up with me, last three phone calls and anyways.

But I do love just, we always do like.

So, our family, we with the kids, you know, our us four, it's just a automatic if we're on the phone, even if we're in a hurry.

Okay, love you, bye, like it.

We don't.

It's just not a bye, you know.

And if somebody has said a bye like if he just for some reason said bye and he didn't say k love you bye, I'm like I call back.

I'm like you didn't say k love you bye, like hey, that we've been doing this for a long time and so um, anyways, but apologize, not to justin, you are family though, justin.

I'm sorry, I was wrong.

Please forgive me, but you know what that does.

It forces humility, right, you have to be humble in order to say those words.

And when you force humility, what does it do?

It automatically kills pride.

And so God doesn't respond to, he doesn't respond to pride, he doesn't Hates pride.

He hates pride, right.

If it even looks like pride.

Yes.

He hates it.

the Bible says and so we're living to please God and so.

But another thing that that does is it gives an opportunity to close the gap of offense, because I'm telling you, you're not always right.

You might think that you're right and you might be right, and the way that you handled something is wrong, and so I think we covered that the last time.

You know Selena, in her childhood she grew up with a lot of negativity and so she's allergic to negativity, and so sometimes it's just the way that I said it.

I said something funny, I don't know.

I think I was talking about swinging by the car wash on the way home, you know, the one where you vacuum yourself, and I was talking like, oh, I should have done that on the way to work.

I had time and you know, and she's like, why don't you do it on the way home?

I was like there's a heat advisory, and she today, you know, she's like negative.

No, it's just, it's a reality, it's hot outside, and and so, anyways, a window into our world, the simple things.

She doesn't want me to point out that it's hot outside, but hey, we, you know, no matter what you think of yourself you can be wrong, and so it's good to just look in the mirror, and especially when you know it and then you're also, you know you're open to your heart and that the Holy Spirit can tell you and begin to correct you.

You know you said that wrong or you know you did that wrong or you know you thinking about that wrong and you have the wrong mindset on that.

And if you're again, you're not leaving word of faith principles when you're in a relationship, and so always be quick to apologize.

Number one that's good.

My turn, number two the love of God will sustain marriage.

The love of God will sustain marriage.

The love of God will sustain marriage.

And I'm going to read Mark Hankins' little Love, the Secret to Success book.

I usually always have it with me in my purse and my bag.

First, corinthians 13,.

I would strongly recommend you reading it every day, and not only reading it but putting it into practice, because that's where it's at so many of our situations, tough times, hardships, could be avoided by just walking out and doing the first Corinthians 13, love chapter.

And so here he has different translations in this little book, and so let me just read it first, and I'm going to read it in the Hayford translation.

So, 1 Corinthians 13, four through eight love suffers long, having patience with imperfect people.

Love is kind and active in doing good.

Love does not envy, since it is non-possessive and non-competitive.

It actually wants others to get ahead.

Hence it does not parade itself.

Love has a self-effacing quality.

It is not ostentatious, and that means just hey, look at me, look at me.

Love is not puffed up, treating others arrogantly.

It does not behave rudely, but displays good manners and courtesy.

Love does not seek its own, insisting on its own rights and demanding precedence.

Rather, it is unselfish.

Love is not provoked, it is not irritable or touchy, rough or hostile, but is graceful under pressure.

So when the heat is on right, when tough times come and they do they do come.

You know, life happens.

The love of God, it's graceful under pressure.

Love thinks no evil.

It does not keep an account of wrongs done to it, so it doesn't keep score.

You know, back in 1998, remember, you said no, you did that.

No, they might have been hurt you, and okay, whatever the situation may be.

But the love of God doesn't do that.

Instead, it erases resentments.

Love does not rejoice in iniquity, finding satisfaction in the shortcomings of others and spreading an evil report.

Rather, it rejoices in the truth, aggressively advertising the good.

And so we have to say something for aggressively advertising something.

Our words are part of that.

Love bears all things defending and holding other people up.

Love believes the best about others, credits them with good intentions.

Oh, they didn't mean to say that he didn't.

Oh, okay, he, he's just, you know, having a bad day, something, something's going on.

If he said it like that something, something's going on, like he really didn't mean it.

He didn't mean it like that, right, and it's not suspicious, surely he didn't?

Love hopes all things, never giving up on people but affirming their future.

Love endures all things, persevering and remaining loyal to the end.

So imagine if we read that every day, right?

just just that right there, just not that you have to throw away the whole bible, but just doing life at first.

Corinthians 13 can take care of my wife to get ahead.

That was one of you know the yeah so we prefer one another in a marriage.

you, you prefer one another.

So, number two the love of God will sustain marriage, not feelings.

Not, you know, honeymoon feelings may last.

They say what?

Two years, and then those come and go, and then what do you?

What do you?

What are we gonna do now?

Oh, like, I don't like you, you were rude today.

No, you make your own breakfast, I'm not gonna make breakfast for you.

Right, and so that's not the love of God is what's going to sustain you through the hard times, right, and so it's not the feelings.

And so we have to make sure that we are walking.

In the first Corinthians 13 chapter, brother Hagen wrote this down.

Brother Hagen always said that the root of every marriage problem is selfishness.

Right, that's, the root of every marriage problem is selfishness.

Right, that's, the root of every marriage problem is selfishness.

And so we have to, you know.

But the love of god prefers one another.

It prefer it puts it doesn't.

Oh, I, you know, in the morning, like, like, usually I make Jay breakfast and sometimes I'll have breakfast.

Usually I don't, usually I just, you know, like kind of skip it until lunch or have a snack or whatever, but I'm preferring him.

Or you know, my kids are young I prefer that I would make breakfast, and sometimes I wouldn't eat or we'd have to head out the door.

That's preferring, you know, and preferring is not.

Oh, I made breakfast, but then in the back of my mind, you know you got breakfast and I didn't, because that's not, then you have this attitude about it.

So it's, that's not the agape love.

Love is really preferring them, learning to prefer him.

And hey, I want the best for you because I'm your helpmate, right, god put me on this earth to help you, and so so just imagine how marriage would look like if we really preferred one another.

Thank you, brother Pete.

And not held grudges.

Yes, food is his love language, and so I think that's one of them and I wrote down let's see.

And so feelings come and go.

You know, if you read in, let me turn.

Okay, so I have this other book, marriage on the rock, by Jimmy Evans.

It's a great book, jimmy Evans.

He's the pastor, a marriage counselor he just has.

I've not read any of his other books.

I've seen, we've watched some of his youtube famous for doing marriage conferences called the xo yeah conference has anybody ever attended?

you've heard of that they travel.

They're usually in dallas, but they do them in other cities as well yes.

And so one quick thing um, he talks about here on page 213, um, you know, talking about the love of God sustaining you.

So to me that's that's commitment, and that's when tough times come.

And so he talks about the four dirts, the four.

If you read in Mark four about the soil and the four types, you know, and, and how um commitment, you know, no matter what's going on like fruitful here, but this down, um second type of soil that's incompatible with long-term fruitfulness was shallow soil, where the seed is just thrown and then it's shallow and there's no depth to it.

And so, um, acquire the depth of character it takes to stick it out, right, to stick it out when tough times come.

And so there is a faithfulness of sticking it out in the bad times, because anybody can stick around in the good times.

Right, hey, you love me, I love you, right?

You've been good to me, I've been good to you, okay, boom.

So let's stick it out.

But no, when tough times come, what are you going to do, right?

Or is there is, is?

Is the the dirt like your, your, your heart?

Is it multiple?

Is it teachable?

Is there depth in there to where?

Hey, something happened, you did something to me and now forget it.

It's done, we're, we're, we're done.

No, there needs to be depth there.

There needs to be.

That's where character is formed, that's so.

So the love of God is all mixed up in that and will sustain you.

And so one thing he put in here.

I'll read it real quick Marriage is like the old story about breakfast.

The question is asked who is more committed to providing your breakfast, the chicken who laid the eggs or the pig who provided the bacon?

The obvious answer is the pig, because the chicken was merely involved, while the pig was totally committed.

Do not be merely involved in marriage, but totally committed.

From this foundation, you can be assured of permanence and success, right, and so the chicken yeah, he lay there.

Chicken's still alive.

The pig not so much.

He was totally committed, and most people are like the chickens.

They're just like okay, parsh, I'll give you this.

But then, if you do that, you know, but no pig was sold out, right, Sold out.

And so the love of God is what's gonna sustain you.

And hey, we're living proof that the word of God works.

It has not always been easy for us.

We have been through hard times, right and so, but God.

We are living proof that the word works If you put it to work.

Right, if you put it because we all have, hey, nah, I'm going to do my own thing, you can do your thing.

Okay, I'll take the kids and we're gonna not.

But, but god, right, but god.

And so with our marriage is a testimony of god's faithfulness.

You know, we've been married a long time.

We got married young.

How?

old.

Are we experts on marriage?

We, we are not experts, only done this once we've only been married once.

We're once one and not done right, right, but uh, but yeah, there have been, you know who celebrates their half anniversaries but next week it'll be our 27 is so much better than remember in our anniversary.

I'm just gonna tell you straight up, like, like, how many years and what's the date he's like you know it's coming up on our half.

Oh, thank you honey.

Okay, it is he's our dating anniversary and he remembers our dating anniversary oh, I'll get better about dates I'll get better about remembering dates, but uh, we got married young and and we didn't have a lot of um, you know um, uh, I mean, we had his dad, which was a great just you know past.

He's our pastor, he's our you know dad, he's our pop, and so he's always helped us through things and along the way.

We've made some pastor friends and so.

But that's another message to surround yourself with people who will help you, who people who will encourage you, who have a godly marriage and that you look up to.

It's so important to have those relationships and not just to have so-and-so friend.

And it's okay you can have whatever so-and-so friends, but if they don't have a godly marriage, what kind of example are they leading?

Right, if you're, if you're really hanging out with them and stuff, and so anyway.

So the love of God will sustain marriage, your marriage, it's the love of God.

So that's number two.

Took a long time on number two.

I know, at this rate.

No, I'm just kidding.

No, honey, I prefer it was worth it.

Number three I'm going to surprise you here on this one Forgive quickly.

You know, forgiving is a big deal, but doing it quickly is an even bigger deal, right?

And so Ephesians 4, 31 and 32 in the NLT tells us.

Paul is telling us to get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.

Just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you, so forgiveness pulls out that root of bitterness.

And apologizing and forgiveness can go hand in hand.

I'm apologizing and she's forgiving me, but sometimes she has to make the effort to forgive when I'm unwilling or didn't even realize what I did wrong.

You know, there might be times when I'm wrong and the Holy Spirit will just, you know, cover it and she'll just forgive me and I'll never know what it is.

And so there are times when that can happen, and so the Holy Spirit can lead you in the same way.

But I'm telling you, if you don't forgive, you do have that root of bitterness and it can creep in and kill your whole relationship.

It's a relationship killer, it's an intimacy killer.

It really is.

And so you've got to do it by faith, and life is too short to nurse bitterness and to hold grudges.

And brother Hagan has a quote I think it's his quote, actually, mark Hankins is the one that says it all the time.

So he says anytime you feel mistreated, you know the devil's working on you and I'm going to add misunderstood to that.

Anytime you feel like a victim, anytime you feel like I, I deserve this and I should have had this and that, and you know he should have done this and she should have done that, and you know the devil's working on you.

And so don't allow the devil strategy to win and to turn you into a victim, because that's going to kill intimacy, that's going to kill your relationship.

And you know, the last time in part two, I think, I was.

I was pretty real at the end and I talked about some changes that we made.

But today I kind of realized I was was thinking back on that moment and I thought back on one of the things that chart that caused us to change was we.

I'll just I'll be kind of vague on purpose, but we were at a church event and Selena did something and I won't say what it was and we had a pretty big disagreement about it and it was public and it was.

It was, you know, it was in front of our leaders and it just wasn't a good thing on either one of our leadership skills.

And she thought I didn't back her up and I and I was looking I've never backed you up any better Like that was the greatest example of backing you up and having your back that I can and she's still to this day.

We agree to disagree on what, what I said, what and she's forgiven me.

At the moment I don't even remember what you're talking about.

I've moved on.

Oh, I could totally.

Oh, I'm sure you can totally remember.

It was on July no, I'm just kidding so, but seriously, like it was, it really was.

It was after that that we began to think about where we were going as a couple, and we've got to make some changes.

I don't want to stink at this, I don't want to stink at this.

I don't want to get on judgment day before the Lord and, hey, you didn't treat your wife right, and I sure don't want this to end.

And so the Lord has given me dreams before.

I had a dream before that we were getting divorced.

Don't cry, because then you're going to make me cry.

The gavel came down, bam, you know, and that was it, and I was like wait, and I was so shocked and in the dream she was a totally different, you know, like she, the look on her face, and so it's it's never too late, you know.

And so that kind of began um a turnaround, and so here we are.

And I think people go.

People go through real things, and we've walked through real things with, uh, with other people, and you're not, I'm not exempt from doing the word.

If I don't do the word, I'm going to have the same results as you not doing the word.

You know, if Selena doesn't do the word, she's going to have the same results.

You know, um, and so God responds to faith, and, and God can help you it.

You know, uh, it turned her heart towards me and it turned my heart towards her, and uh and uh, uh, a threefold cord is not easily broken.

You know, and you and, and, but there are some things you can do to take an ax to it and try to break it.

And, but there are some things you can do to take an ax to it and try to break it and and we're done with those.

Amen, amen On the forgive quickly.

You know it's also good to you know a lot of things and misunderstandings and that you know it.

Really, communication is just so deep.

You know how, what we say, but then how we say it and when.

When we say it, you know like how, when you know all the things and so a lot of and sometimes in in life happens and we don't think about you know, we're very busy around here and so, um, you know, and then with other things going on, traveling and and but like, forgiving quick.

It's also good to say, you know to your spouse, I forgive you, and also just to hear yourself and you might say like, okay, I forgive him, but it's in your head, you know, but really it's good to go, you know to him or to her, I forgive you, like the way, calmly, and hey, the way you said this, this or that that hurt me, or the way you know like it's and good to pray also, god, I, I forgive him.

You see that he hurt me.

You say he, you know you're he, he's your child, and then pray over your husband, pray over your wife.

Instead, instead of complaining, you pray.

It's hard to live in disagreement if you're praying together.

Praying brings agreement.

It does If two or more agree it's touching anything.

You know there, god is in their midst doing it.

Yeah, I notice in the mornings where we're busy and we haven't prayed.

You know, I usually get up early and we pray, we read our Bible, we do something.

But in the moments where we haven't, like, I notice a difference.

You know, I notice a difference and then I'll ask well, what's your scripture of the day today?

You know what I'm always like what's, what's our scripture we're standing on for today?

Well, what's our confession today?

Something we got to stand on, something because you can't, most people just live lives.

They wake up, the alarm goes off, they're wake up and they're out the door and husband and wives don't say anything to each other.

They got, we got to get the kids to so and so, and then we got to go to work, and then we got to, and then we got a meeting, and then we gotta get home and I gotta cook dinner, and then I gotta pick up and then what's for dinner?

That's like.

That's like a love-hate relationship with, like that question right there.

Don't ask me what's for dinner, I don't know.

Is it?

You want to cook dinner, you know?

like we gotta get it all that okay, I don't think about food, but we love food but it's like, yeah, everybody's busy and so I'm just saying putting the word forgiveness, go forgiving quickly.

It just we have to put the word first, at the beginning of the day, you know.

And so um.

So number four marriage requires trust, and so um.

So those are two different and I wrote this down and I think I mentioned this in in one of the other um teachings um, sorry.

First, john 418 says perfect love cast out fear.

Communication requires a deep degree of trust, commitment and and friendship.

When spouses reach the transparency level, they function with oneness.

Real communication can only flourish in an atmosphere of love and trust.

Forgiveness and trust are two different things.

Forgiveness must come before trust is rebuilt.

Trust is gained in drops, and I heard a pastor says and lost in buckets.

Trust is gained in drops and lost in buckets.

And so forgiveness means I know what you did was wrong, right, but I'm not going to make you pay for it for the rest of your life.

I forgive you.

The Bible says we have to give grace, we have to give mercy, we have to give grace, we have to give mercy.

We've been forgiven of much, so we forgive others.

God forgave us.

We're not perfect, far from it, but so we have to make sure that we're always extending grace, extending mercy, and so trust.

So again, forgiveness, you know, and trust are two totally different things, and the Bible talks about forgiveness.

You know and trust are two totally different things.

And the Bible talks about forgiveness.

Like we need to forgive 490 times a day, right, that's the scripture, and so we have to make sure you know.

I haven't forgiven you 49.

That's not that many.

But so trust requires you know building back If you've lost.

You know that trust, or whatever it takes actions, it takes behavior.

Well, why don't you trust me?

But you can't go off living like a fool and then come.

Well, why don't you trust me?

Well, I can't find you anywhere or whatever the case may be.

Well, why don't you?

There's behavior that goes along with that, right, and so you have to make sure when that trust is broken, hey, we are transparent, right, because I can hand you my phone or iPad or anything and you can look.

All I don't have to hide it.

And you can hand me yours and you don't have.

We're just transparent, living one life together, right, and so we have to make sure that she needs to know that she can trust me.

Right yeah, she needs to know that she can lean on me.

That's one of the uh, I think we talked about that before.

You know the, the needs and the man, man and woman.

The woman is number one is security.

I needed to be secure, you know, um, and so uh, that um, so, yeah, number four marriage requires trust, just being honest, right, being honest and transparent.

You know I had this old story we were finished into a couple years and years ago and, uh, I don't remember all the details because it was a long time ago, but he was pretty, um, uh, innocent.

But there was a co-worker, a female co-worker, that had helped not just him but like the whole office, and he just felt like he wanted to reward her and so he bought her like something in, like a coffee mug or whatever it was.

And, uh, but the wife finds, like I guess his iPad and it was these text messages going back and forth, and she sees that he bought her a gift and she didn't know anything about it, and she totally freaks out.

Right, you know, because you know how could have that been handled better.

You don't want to be texting someone of the opposite sex and I don't care how close you are, but you know, jay, that's my assistant or whatever.

This is the 21st century.

What are you talking about?

You know we've got to do this and that, but do you want to have a good marriage or not?

You want to be completely transparent with your spouse and know that you're not trying to have something on the side.

You're not trying to flirt with somebody else.

You're not trying to buy gifts for another person either.

Right.

And a else, you're not trying to buy gifts for another, another person either, and so um, and a lot of things are sometimes they're, they're, they're passed down from family.

Well, my so-and-so, uncle so-and-so did this and this, and they talk to everybody and they have this on the side and that, and that's my family.

That's just what we do.

That's just what we do.

No, that, if it's not biblical, no, that is not bible based.

And so you have to make sure, go back to the word of God.

What does the word say?

One man, one woman.

Right, you shall be united.

I got a woman?

No, that's not a good.

Maybe Ray Charles, but not me.

So, okay, one other thing I wanted to read to you guys about trust from the Jimmy Evans book.

The first thing you need to understand in order for your marriage to work is the simple truth no human being can meet your deepest needs.

Only God can.

So if you're looking for somebody else to fulfill, only God can Him first and foremost.

When you put too much hope in a person, you are headed for disappointment and sometimes even for disaster.

And so he talks about the Samaritan woman.

So when the expectation of having deep needs, having deep needs met, is transferred to anyone or anything other than God, three main problems are created.

Number one you will always be disappointed with the results, no matter how well things go.

Number two you will lack the inner resources.

You need to love others the way you should and confront life successfully.

Number three you will eventually be hurt and offended by the one in whom you've invested your trust, because that one cannot possibly meet your deepest needs.

And he talks about a couple of scriptures Proverbs 28, 26.

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool.

Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength Jeremiah 17, 5.

He who trusts in his riches will fall, proverbs 11, 28.

So compare those warnings with the promises to those trusting God.

And then Jeremiah, 17, 7 and 8 says blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is in the Lord, for he will be like a tree planted by the water that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes, but its leaves will be green and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.

And so, in the distinguishing among trusting in people, things are God to meet our deepest needs, there are some insurmountable differences.

So he goes on to say just resulting trusting people than things versus God.

And so our deepest, we have to trust God first and for foremost.

Right, our trust is in him, not in riches, not in a man.

Of course we love each other.

We talking about trust first, but then, but before, trust like our, our foundation is our trust in God and not in our own natural way of doing things.

Many scriptures regarding that.

And so we don't want to be a fool and trust in our own heart, in our own way of thinking, but we want to make sure our mind is renewed with the word of God and so that when tough times come, what's going to come out?

Because what you have put in will come out Right.

So no word in no Bible reading, no word is going to come out.

No encouragement in no prayer time, in none of those words will come out.

And so we had no edification.

So we have to make sure that, um, we edify ourselves, um, and and just pray much in the Holy Ghost and put him first.

It's not just for you.

The results of my prayer life are not just for me.

It's going to spill out into my life and my family and to your family and to your children.

And their future.

And their future.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not just my ministry, not just you know, not just your job talking about you.

Anyways, number five prioritize one another, and so Jimmy Evans' quote from this book says that marriage only works in first place.

Selena just said that.

I mean basically a version of that making you know God first place in your marriage.

Second is our list of priorities right, and then comes your family, your kids, and so when you get that out of whack and you have the kids first, we kind of had that out of whack for a while.

I remember for a couple years there Allison was doing volleyball and Ethan was doing club baseball and I did all the baseball, she did all the volleyball and we kind of stayed with that pattern all the way through baseball and into college I became the college bus driver and got to hang out with Ethan.

That was cool, but like it just brought me.

But I was at his baseball games Further away.

Yes, but there were moments where I couldn't be.

Like on the traveling side, you know, and so anyways, but prioritize one another I mean each other and so invest in your relationship.

It takes time, and so I think about if you've been married first, the biblical honeymoon, you know, look like in the Bible they would spend a year on their honeymoon and they weren't allowed to like work in the fields, they weren't allowed to go to war because they were expected to get to know each other for that entire year.

So there's an advantage of being one to that level.

Not suggesting that, but just think about what it's like in our society now.

We don't ever go on dates.

We don't ever.

It's too busy or things are too expensive, and so you have to prioritize your relationship above the kids.

And so you get lost in all of the piano and drum lessons and you know this and that, this sporting activity and this extracurricular activity at school, and you know this play or whatever.

Something has to give for a marriage to work.

Like you can't do all the things, all the bells and whistles, you know you can't be apart from each other all the time and expect to have a thriving marriage.

How is that going to?

work.

I own my own business.

I work 60 hours a week.

It's just, you know, at some point something's got to give for you to be good at at this.

It takes time, it takes effort, it takes energy, and you don't want to mismanage your marriage.

You cannot afford to mismanage your marriage.

And so, um, we're best friends first, before any other friendship, before any other hobby, before golf.

Golf is great, all those different things you know, for me I I can say that cause I don't like golf at all, and so but I'll just say motorcycles, I would, I would.

I would rather, I would rather spend time with her than be out on the road.

That's a faith statement.

Anyways, I'm just kidding, but your choices that you make every day show your priorities, and so this one has to be up there.

And so I just wanted to kind of like.

We got a lot of questions with blended families, and so you know how to, maybe how to reduce friction in a blended family, and I just I would say the same thing If you're, if you're just getting remarried, it takes time to mix those two in.

Or maybe you just gain custody of your 15 year old daughter and you're bringing her back into the mix, into a family with with maybe younger kids, into the mix, into a family with maybe younger kids.

I would say it's the same thing.

You have to prioritize your family, and so maybe little Johnny has to skip a baseball season for you to come together as a season and make that work.

And you're going to spend lots of game nights.

It's going to be, you know, you're going to shut off the TV and you're going to do a lot of talking and you're going to, maybe you're going to travel together, maybe you're going to save some money up and take a little family vacation, and it doesn't have to be big and expensive, and you know, disney world or something.

They're woke anyways.

So, uh, you know, and expensive yes.

And so don't mismanage your marriage and don't mismanage your.

Most prized possession is your family, and so invest in it.

And so, especially, like I said, if you're blending families together, it just takes a lot more effort, it takes a lot more prayer, and the head of the household will have to be, you know, a shining example of God's love and patience and mercy and kindness.

Amen.

Number six Amen.

Number six our marriage should aim to honor God, and so Romans 12, 10 in the New Living says love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.

Um, and so we need to honor our relationship the way you know, the same way we honor god, and so, and and honor you know, like also how I said before, we honor, it's good to, to, to speak word, honorable words.

You know, when you honor each other, you prefer one another, and so we have to make sure that our marriage is honoring God, that what we're doing in our marriage, what we're allowing in our marriage, who we're allowing in our marriage, is that honoring God.

You know, make sure you know any thoughts or any, you know, because the Bible says that, hey, we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principality and all the rulers of this world.

And there are darts coming our way, there's an evil one, and so we have to make sure that we're covered in the blood of Jesus, that we cover our marriage in the blood of Jesus, that we're dispatching those angels, that we're proclaiming the word of God over our marriage, you know, specifically over our marriage.

And a good habit that we have that the last couple of months or two.

We've kind of not had this habit gotten out of the habit, but I always pick it.

We always pick up a marriage book in our house and we read it.

We take at least, you know, just a little bit of time before go to bed or whatever and read out of the marriage book.

Um, you know we've been doing why would you waste time watching TV, you know, or some movie or yeah line, or whatever?

invest in your marriage, and that's honoring.

That's part of honoring your marriage is hey, I'm going to invest in it.

I'm going to pick up my bible.

I'm going to read the scripture.

What does the word say about marriage?

I'm going to read a book about marriage, about communication.

What is what does it say?

How do we communicate, and so to.

So that's part of honoring your marriage.

You're putting it at the, at the front, you're.

You're putting, hey, I'm going to invest time, I'm going to, I'm going to, we're going to pray together.

We're going to honor our marriage, and so, and not take it lightly, yep.

Number seven communicate gratitude.

You know, pastor Mark Hankins likes to say there's no such thing as unexpressed praise or thanks.

So praise and thanks must be communicated, you know.

And he likes to say that when he's talking about praising God, you can't praise God on the inside, it's got to come out on the outside, amen, and.

But the same thing I can't praise my wife without and just think it on the inside and you know, or be grateful to God, it's got to come out.

Hey God, thank you for my wife.

But then I'm thanking her for I don't remember.

We're going to talk about food again, but like she cooked something different, had a new recipe, I don't know why.

I can't remember what it was, some kind of chicken, and it was amazing.

And we all like, golly, that's, you know, thank you.

And so, anyways, so be specific, and that specificity, like has gone down into our kids, and so I always laugh when they thank us for the littlest thing.

We went out late the other night, we went to Walk-Ons and pretended we were in Louisiana, but anyways, that's like one of the only good restaurants in Alexandria.

But we went to it here and uh, cause I was the only ones that was open late on a Monday and anyways, uh, and we, we, and so thank you, dad, for driving us.

You know, to eat it's like, okay, um, the little things, and so it.

It does it strengthens your relationship and it does it's something that your kids will notice, even really young kids.

They'll have an attitude of gratitude and, uh, if they see you being selfish, they're going to be selfish, but if they see you being grateful, they're going to be grateful, they're going to learn.

It's a lifestyle.

Yes, it's a lifestyle.

It can become a lifestyle.

If it's not you, it's a mindset and it's a lifestyle, like you know, being grateful and just being thankful to be alive and to have a wonderful husband, you know, and to have kids, and just always being grateful, always being thankful, you know, in the midst of tough times, just always, you know, finding the sun through the clouds, being grateful.

I'm committed to having a wife that never feels underappreciated, so she's always going to know her value, my health, amen.

Amen, yeah, and communicate, yeah.

So, like just man, I could talk about this all communicating gratitude, right, because we can.

We can communicate all the things that the don't do is like hey, or the list, the honey do list, right, we got this, this, this and this and this, and you didn't do this, this and this is this, and there was this event or you know, and we did like here at church or meeting, like this.

But one little word of just thank you gratitude goes a long way.

Right, there's a stud, I don't know what the, I don't remember what the, I don't remember what the ratio was like, how many, how many you know bad things kids hear versus the one, the one thing.

It is like you know and just investing in them, and so you're creating an atmosphere of gratitude and that's so important.

So, number eight, marriage, requires understanding, because we are not the same, right, and there's lots of books on that.

Women are from Venus, mars are not the same, right, and there's lots of books on that.

Women are from Venus, mars are from no, women are from Mars, whatever.

But we have to realize we're on the same team.

We may not be the same.

God made us unique.

God made men and women, different on purpose, and so we're unique.

We're different, but we are on the same team.

We're unique, we're different, but we are on the same team.

We're called to compliment each other, and so we have to make sure um you need to stay students of our spouses.

Yeah, study them.

And that requires knowing them, spending time with them, knowing what they like, the hobbies, all the things.

It, it, it, um, it requires spending time together.

And so I don't know if she'll admit this, but I was looking back at some old pictures and I found I realized, before I ever bought my Harley, that she was sending me pictures of other people's Harley.

And she would be like like, hey, is this the one that you want?

And then you know, hey, I parked next to this big group of bikers that you know, or they just pulled out and it sounded really good.

But you know what?

Which one are you getting?

Anyways, just so she backs me up, so she finds out what I like and likes it too, you know, and I do the same thing.

Yeah, and so, um, maybe not at the same level I's okay, sometimes.

I don't notice.

All of her roses are blooming and it looks amazing and I walk right by it.

You can walk by.

Yes, that's okay, that's all right.

But seriously, god made us unique, god made us different, and so we're on the same team.

And so what the enemy wants is opposite of unity, know, opposite of unity, wants to tear marriages and wants to tear families apart.

And that is what he's doing, but not with us and not with you guys.

And so we have to make sure that that we put marriage first and and know, know our differences, know the way we communicate, different communication, but but still, just, hey, we're a team.

How can I help you?

How can I?

And with communication is just really there's.

We go on and on, but we're pressed for time, but just like re-asking the question and and just really digging deep, you know, um, and even if the other person you might want to communicate and the other person's not hearing anything like they're, they're done.

Okay, pray, that's okay, don't, because what happens is he's mad, he don't want to communicate, then I am okay, I can communicate all week.

Fine, you figure it out right.

But no, that's not, that's the enemy, that's what that god doesn't want us to do, that.

So we have to make sure.

Hey, go to the word pray.

Pray for your spouse.

Don't give up on them, right?

Don't give up on them right.

Don't give up on them.

Pray, pray for them.

Goes with.

Number nine Keep showing up.

Love never fails or stops loving.

It's forever, it's every day, it's every hour, it's every minute.

So, especially if you're a dad, keep showing up.

You know, even in raising our kids, don't miss those events.

You know the baseball games, like we were talking about football games, it's really important to show up and so.

But also show up, like Selena was just saying it, so you know, oh well, she can just do this on her own.

Then, if she doesn't like it my way, then you know it's the highway Boom.

You're out and just know.

You have to keep showing up, no matter what, no matter how you, if your feelings are hurt, get over it, just be quick to forgive.

You're going to do all these steps, but show up.

And so the moment that you're out, the moment that you just give up and throw your hands up and walk out of the room, the devil's got you.

And so just keep showing up.

Number 10.

Fight the good fight of faith.

You know it's a fight, it's a.

Which is number 10.

Yes, marriage requires faith Believing that it will always get better.

Let me say it again Marriage requires faith Believing that it will always get.

I don't know.

I don't know if we're going to make it.

I don't know, and this year it's just tough yeah.

You have what you say, so our words are very important, and so we can't be talking like that.

It's getting better and better.

My husband is strong in the Lord, he has a good prayer life.

So just speaking things over your husband, over each other.

So Hebrews 11, 1 in the Passion Translation says faith brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire the things that we long for.

It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen Faith works, anyone who will work it.

Doing marriage God's way gets you God's results, and so you can do it your way.

But your way may not get you God's results, and so you can do it your way.

But your way may not get you God's results, and so we have to make sure to do there's a certain way of doing things.

There's a certain blueprint for it.

Right, when somebody builds a house, when somebody builds, there's a blueprint for it.

They don't just like, oh well, I like that house over there and just build it like that, and then the construction company or doesn't have the architect.

No, they have a blueprint.

They have how the house is going to look, what each room, the foundation, all of what goes into the house.

And so a lot of times we want to skip, we want that marriage over there, but then nobody wants to do the work.

And so God, the word of God, is our blueprint right.

And so one quick thing Um, so requires faith.

Faith is necessary.

It's not optional.

Um, and let's see this about biblical roles protect when a man and a woman fulfill their respective roles.

Each spouse is provide is both provided for and protected.

The longer you refuse to do it God's way, the more you encourage your spouse to do the same.

Be the one in your marriage who puts a stop to the vicious cycle of unmet needs and begins a victory cycle of blessing.

Blessing when you do your part.

It makes it safe for your spouse to do his or her part, even if your spouse doesn't follow your example overnight.

Have faith in God, have faith in God.

Everybody say have faith in God.

Slap the person next to you say have faith in God, no, don't slap him.

Be loving and kind.

Have faith in God.

God will reward you.

But be assured, any alternative has no chance at all of working, and so we have to make sure to.

Hey, marriage I mean marriage requires faith.

We have to make sure to have faith to believe, even when you don't see it, even when you don't see those things in your spouse that God talks about in the word, keep believing, keep trusting, keep speaking the word over them, keep speaking.

First, corinthians 13.

Don't give up.

Don't give up so many.

Divorce is not an option.

Okay, I get.

Okay If somebody has been beaten, and there are situations where okay, but let me tell you, so many of the times people just give up oh, I'm done, you talked to me wrong, I'm done, you know.

Or you did this or whatever.

Hey, no, don't, I've fallen out of love, I've fallen out.

No, listen.

It's just an emotion, yeah.

So so do the hard work Do.

You know how you love is not doing these steps.

Yes, yeah, and so we have to make sure time.

Yeah, and so it.

It requires faith and it requires, um, you know, just like just not being shallow and being being committed to the work, being committed to the word of God.

And you guys are here.

You guys are here on a Wednesday night, you're committed.

So I applaud you for that.

Um, God, or Wednesday night, you're committed, so I applaud you for that.

God sees your faithfulness, god sees you wanting to put in the work and he'll bless you for it.

He'll honor you for it.

You honor him, he'll honor you, amen.

Pastor Mark Hankins, always, if you want a breakthrough in faith, it requires a breakthrough in revelation knowledge.

So if you want a breakthrough in your marriage, it's going to take a breakthrough of revelation knowledge, and that revelation knowledge is going to be through a study in the word, having to do with marriage, and reading marriage books like this.

It's sowing you know into your relationship day after day after day, and then you're going to grow closer with one another.

Once you do the word, you know you're not just here as only you're a doer of the word and then you're going to grow in your relationships.

Amen and I, you know you already kind of got to our bonus.

Our bonus was never give up and so she covered that.

But I just, uh, I just wanted to encourage you further.

I was ministering to someone recently in our youth and, um, you know he was just crying and he had been through all kind of really a terrible traumatic situation over and over and over again and I mean I started crying too because I started the empathy and sympathy kicked in and I just I put myself in his shoes and the Holy Spirit, just you know, just washed over me.

What Mark Hankins always says what happened to Jesus is always greater than anything that's happened to you, and so I know what that means.

But in that moment I felt it.

I felt what Jesus felt.

I mean, you know, maybe not the full extent, but I just, and then I started bawling, I couldn't talk and I just realized that what Jesus went through on the cross really was, it's so much greater than anything that's ever happened to you.

So when you identify with that, you can always identify with his victory a lot quicker.

Right, you know, because he was completely abandoned.

He was.

You know, peter denied him three times, didn't even want to act like he even knew him.

Right, and so then he was totally.

Then God abandoned him.

You know, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

He was abandoned by God.

It had to be in order for him to go down to the pit of hell and to steal the keys of death and hell and have the victory and then raise from the dead and then take his blood to the throne so that when God looks at us, he sees us through the blood, he sees us perfected, he sees us with nothing missing and nothing broken, and so that you know the whole Hebrews 12, 2 thing.

You know, look under Jesus, the author and the finisher for our faith, who, for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame.

And you know, when we identify, know that our identification is wrapped up in that man, then we can have victory on every side.

Amen, so identify with his victory.

Yeah, that's so, so good.

Identify with his victory.

Yeah, that's so, so good.

Identify with his victory.

What jesus did is, is far outweighs what anybody has ever done or will do right.

And so out of that we're victorious, out of that we live, out of that we're overcomers, and out of that you know we can love others the way christ loved us.

You know, because we can't do it in the natural, a lot of people, just they natural love you.

You love me, I'll love you back.

You do nice to me, I do nice to you, but it's so much deeper than agape love and it'll sustain you through anything and everything, amen.

We do have one question.

You want me to read it or you want?

to read it real quick.

Okay, um was just going to say, like just identifying with his victory.

You know, like you know what happened to Jesus is greater than anything that's happened to you.

Maybe you have been cheated on and pushed around and left alone and I'm just kidding Like I was going to quote a country song there but you know, like people go through real things and you identify with your struggles and you identify with your victimhood.

Let's identify with Jesus's victory, amen, and then we can receive victory on every side.

All right, question Right.

It's good.

I didn't get to read it, Well.

Well, I don't even have a head.

After 30 years we still can't communicate.

Husband doesn't like to repeat things when he talks to me, facing away from me, and I can't hear him.

Help Communication.

A frying pan might help.

No, not a frying pan.

That is not going to help anything.

Some good cornbread in the frying pan.

And the cast iron skillet that might help.

That will soften things with some butter.

With some butter, no, I mean communication, you want to answer that.

So, like communication, it's a is a is a key to just, you know, communicate your desire.

You know, hey, I really want to be close to you, I really want to uh for us to go to the next level, and I feel like you're, um, that you have some barriers, I feel like you have some, some walls up, and I just, I'm believing God, uh, for us to have a better relationship and just, you know, get him to acknowledge that and and uh, and then you know, offer to be bold enough to offer to pray, just in, like I said earlier, prayer, the agreement of prayer can kick in, and uh, and you can bring that request before the Lord together, and and, and you can apply your faith together.

And it doesn't say whether he's a believer or not, but I would just you know, um, I'm just I'm assuming that he is, and so what's his name?

Not, but I would just you know, um, I'm just I'm assuming that he is, and so what's his name?

I'm just kidding.

So and also one thing that helps is like when you're communicating, it's good, it's nice to like, you know to touch, and it's often say like, instead of yelling across from the house and and, um, okay, it's always good to, uh, you know, hug and touch and, and, but a lot of times, in the heat of the moment, like I don't want to.

Oh, how do you communicate?

Yeah, how do you communicate better with, with my spouse, the love of my life, um, but there are many like again, there are.

There are resources that can help you in communicating and there are different levels of communication.

And gipe also, he's coming in.

Jay has his book.

We not even read his entire book, but we went to his marriage thing, um, he had like a little marriage conference, um, and we he talked about communication there.

So and we can't sit here and talk about all, but there are levels of communication and there ways you can communicate.

And then there are conversation starters instead of just going to dinner and talking about nothing or talking about things that don't matter, talk about real things, talk about the word, talk about your future, talk about substantial goals.

What are your goals?

what are your goals?

Yeah, what are you three?

Yeah, what are you three things?

What are you believing God for?

What are your goals?

How does the next 10 years look like?

What did the Holy Spirit show you in your prayer time that morning?

What scripture stood out to you?

As Rhema, you know that's going to open up everything.

That's going to lead your relationship into a whole new level of communication, and so we covered communication a lot in part two, so if you missed that, I would go back.

This book will be for sale in a whole nother month, so if you wait 30 days.

But it's called marriage rocks and they they do it from a sense of home improvement.

So the one on communication is called the dining room and um, because a lot of communication can start when you're eating together at the dining room, right, and so, whether it be your whole family or all your kids, but that's where walls are broken down and that's where communication can happen, and that's why it's so important.

Even in the opening scripture I've read about breaking bread together.

It's so important.

We have koinonia, we have fellowship, in other words, one with another.

It's a church thing.

That's why we have church fellowships around food and so that just gets people in.

Are we having snow cones this Sunday?

Is that part of our?

Yeah.

We're going to have snow cones after the service this Sunday.

We had a mix-up last Sunday so we didn't get to have snow cones this Sunday.

We had a mix-up last Sunday so we didn't get to have snow cones and the kids wanted-.

We're not talking about that, Anyways we're not talking about snow cones.

We're not talking about the mix-up.

Yes, okay, and then?

that other question.

I think it was similar, right.

Well, it's a little different.

So 1 Corinthians 13 about love.

So in 1 Corinthians 13, it lists what love is.

My question is if I love someone but it's missing qualities of love, is it still love?

So there's so many.

So when you love someone it's not just an emotion.

It has to be the God kind of love first, otherwise it really doesn't count, it's not real, it's not lasting.

And if they are not a born again believer.

I don't know if this is a single person or, like a married person, let's just, for example, if they're not a born-again believer, they cannot love you first.

Corinthians 13 they don't know god, they don't know, they don't know the love of god.

That surpasses all understanding.

That surpasses the natural thing.

They just don't know what they don't know.

So you can't give you what they don't have Right.

Right.

They're completely unable to love you the way God intended you on you being loved, and there's just no way to make that work.

Yeah.

So if you're already married, you you you know, uh, first Peter three to first Peter two talks about, um, you winning them over by your attitude of love and how you treat your spouse.

And so you can win, when you're unsaved, spouse, over by your walking out the God kind of love and then being attracted to the God kind of love on the inside of you until it softens their heart and they turn.

And so and again, again, though it requires faith and and.

But the agape kind of love does have qualities, does have godly qualities.

That that, hey, if I love someone, what the qualities they have should match up with the word of god, because if they don't, because if they don't, then it's really not love.

What is it?

It it's just natural, human.

Oh, he's cute, you know well.

Okay, well, that's not going to sustain you, right?

Oh, he cute, she cute.

But in 20 years down the road, you know, when she ain't so cute, she ain't so cute, like, what's going to sustain you.

There needs to be depth.

And so the qualities of first Corinthians, the biblical qualities, are there for a reason.

That of first corinthians, the biblical qualities are there for a reason.

That's what will sustain you.

And so it's, it's, it's so deep.

So yeah, it needs to be.

I don't want to be redundant, because selena said it all when she read out of this book, but if you need you, you probably need to buy this book and study it.

It's so, uh, pastors mark and trina have have almost every single translation of 1 Corinthians 13 in here and it gets really deep, really quick, and I just encourage you if you really are struggling with your love, walk or what knowing what love is.

It's not going to be found on the radio.

I want to know what love is.

It's going to be found right here in this book thank you, jay.

Um, hopefully that was a little bit before my time only by like who is it?

I don't know, don't come to me, but yeah, the, I mean just, really just homework, like starting, you don't even have to start with this page, but I mean, sorry this, sorry this book, but like, just you know, as a married couple, reading first Corinthians 13 every day and just praying together, starting with baby steps, of just you know, um, that'll really help your marriage, of just that'll help your communication, that'll that'll help your communication.

Starting, starting that, reading the word together, um, and just reading first Corinthians together and then doing that reading the word together and just reading first.

Corinthians together and then doing that, reading it, and do like confessing and doing like hey, today I'm going to prefer you I'm going to have.

Today we're going to work on today, cause a lot of times, well, I don't feel it, I don't know.

Today we're going to work on this.

Which one principle are we going to work on today?

You know, pick one pick one and you work on it.

Just patience I mean living in Houston.

Just patience, right, Come on when you work on that every day.

Amen, Amen.

Did you want to pray?

first I did want to pray.

Okay, Before it's happy time let's pray.

Go ahead, jay, go ahead.

You mean to start out Well, father, I just thank you for this evening.

Laura, I thank you for how you've demonstrated your love tonight on us and through us.

And, father, I just thank you for every single marriage that's represented here tonight, the ones watching online and the ones that have driven so far and fought traffic to be here.

Lord, that we're going up to the next level together in you, that a threefold cord is not easily broken.

Father, we just thank you.

There's a special blessing on our relationships but, lord, like I prayed at the beginning in our confession, lord, we confess that we're open for change.

And so, holy Spirit, I just thank you for illuminating the word of God as we continue to study about marriage and continue to desire to have a better marriage and a closer relationship with each other.

It also requires a closer relationship with you, and so your word says that when we draw near to you, you draw near to us.

So, father, I just thank you that every single relationship in this room is blessed.

Lord, that they're walking out your calling that you have for their lives.

Lord, that the eyes of their understanding are enlightened.

Lord, that you're strengthening them on their inner man so they can have a stronger relationship with you and a stronger relationship with each other.

Lord, and I just thank you.

For any person right now that's dealing with a spouse with a hardened heart, I just thank you, lord, that only you know how to make that valuable to you, lord, only you know how to reach them and to turn their heart towards you and turn their heart towards their spouse.

So, father, I just thank you that we're not living in just the natural, but we just thank you that we're living in the supernatural, that the supernatural becomes natural right there, by our faith and, lord, we just believe that you're perfecting the things which concern them.

In Jesus name, amen.

And, father, we thank you, lord, that no devil in hell can tear apart any marriage tonight, father, we thank you, lord, that love plus unity equals miracles, and it's not just a slogan that we say, father, but it's the truth.

And so we thank you that all marriages here, all couples here, that they're united, father, we just applied the blood of Jesus over their marriage right now, from the top of their head to the soles of their feet.

Father, we just thank you that there's any miscommunication or if there's trust has been broken.

Father, just like we sang tonight, I thank you that you mend broken hearts, Father, and we just thank you that the past is the past and they're going forward, father, that you have new things for them, just like Isaiah says, father, behold that we forget the past, behold that there is something new, that there's a new vision, new steps to be taken, new goals to be met, father.

And so we just thank you, lord, that they are meeting those, that there is rivers in the wilderness, maybe, where it seems to be in a dry land, that there are rivers there, that there's life, father.

We speak life to these marriages, father.

So we just thank you, father, that there's honor in these marriages and that they put you first in their marriage, that their marriage is pure Lord, and so we just give you all of the glory and all of the honor, father.

I thank you that they're not gonna grow weary while doing well, Father, that they're gonna invest in their marriage and they're gonna see the fruit of it, father, and we just thank you that they are committed to one another in Jesus' name, amen, amen.

They won't give up either Amen.