Sermon

Warning Against Adultery

Trinity Cambridge Church

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  1. in Proverbs chapter 5.

    Proverbs 5 chapter mention

  2. So that's what we're opening to,

  3. is the whole chapter from verses 1 to 23.

  4. And please join me in prayer

  5. as you open up to Proverbs 5.

  6. Heavenly Father,

  7. thank you so much for your word.

  8. Thank you for giving us your instruction,

  9. your wisdom.

  10. God, we pray that you would give us

  11. open hearts that are willing to receive,

  12. that are eager to obey,

  13. for your glory and for our good, Father.

  14. And we pray in Christ's name, amen.

  15. All right, Proverbs chapter 5.

    Proverbs 5 chapter mention

  16. My son, be attentive to my wisdom.

  17. Incline your ear to my understanding,

  18. that you may keep discretion

  19. and your lips may guard knowledge.

  20. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

  21. and her speech is smoother than oil.

  22. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood,

  23. sharp as a two-edged sword.

  24. Her feet go down to death.

  25. Her steps follow the path to Sheol.

  26. She does not ponder the path of life.

  27. Her ways wander, and she does not know it.

  28. And now, O sons, listen to me,

  29. and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

  30. Keep your way far from her,

  31. and do not go near the door of her house.

  32. Lest you give your honor to others,

  33. and your years to the merciless.

  34. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

  35. and your labors go to the house of a foreigner.

  36. And at the end of your life,

  37. you groan when your flesh and body are consumed.

  38. And you say,

  39. how I hated discipline,

  40. and my heart despised reproof.

  41. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers,

  42. or incline my ear to my instructors.

  43. I am at the brink of utter ruin

  44. in the assembled congregation.

  45. Drink water from your own cistern,

  46. flowing water from your own well.

  47. Should your springs be scattered abroad,

  48. streams of water in the streets?

  49. Let them be for yourself alone,

  50. and not for strangers with you.

  51. Let your fountain be blessed,

  52. and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

  53. a lovely dear, a graceful doe.

  54. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.

  55. Be intoxicated always in her love.

  56. Why should you be intoxicated, my son,

  57. with a forbidden woman,

  58. and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

  59. For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord,

  60. and he ponders all his past.

  61. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,

  62. and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.

  63. He dies for lack of discipline,

  64. and because of his great folly,

  65. he is led astray.

  66. This is God's word.

  67. Over the last six weeks,

  68. we took a hiatus from our sermon series in Proverbs

  69. to study 1 John.

  70. So this allowed us to focus

  71. on some Christian fundamentals,

  72. such as the person and work of Jesus Christ,

  73. and the importance of Christian obedience and love.

  74. This week, we're returning to the book of Proverbs.

  75. So I think it's helpful to do a quick recap

  76. of where we've been in Proverbs.

  77. A few weeks back,

  78. Sean unpacked the three different contexts

  79. we need to pay attention to

  80. as we study scripture.

  81. The historical context,

  82. the literary context,

  83. and the theological context.

  84. So the historical context answers questions like,

  85. who wrote the text?

  86. Who's the audience?

  87. When was it written?

  88. Why was it written?

  89. And for Proverbs,

  90. we learned that King Solomon was the lead author,

  91. though not the sole author.

  92. So since he wrote most of it,

  93. or came up with most of it,

  94. most of the Proverbs dates back to the 10th century BC.

  95. In terms of audience,

  96. it wasn't specified to one person,

  97. but given to all people

  98. across class and profession and gender.

  99. It's not intended just for the young and uneducated,

  100. but it was given to the simple and the wise,

  101. so opposite ends of the wisdom spectrum.

  102. Therefore, it includes everyone in between.

  103. And also we learned from Sean

  104. that the collective masculine is used,

  105. or that the masculine pronoun is used

  106. to refer to a group of men and women together.

  107. So this is relevant for our chapter today

  108. because though chapter five addresses men

  109. to beware of the adulterous,

  110. women can and should apply this instruction

  111. to avoid the adulterer.

  112. So that's the historical context.

  113. Next, there's the literary context,

  114. which asks questions about words,

  115. syntax, grammar,

  116. as well as the genre.

  117. So Proverbs belongs to wisdom genre,

  118. as opposed to say narratives or epistles.

  119. And it's written in the style of poetry.

  120. In poetry, not only is an idea communicated,

  121. but the text tries to do so beautifully

  122. and with imaginative and figurative language.

  123. So reading Proverbs will be a different experience

  124. than reading example Paul's epistle to the Romans.

  125. Finally, there's the theological context,

  126. which asks questions like,

  127. how does this fit with the rest of scripture?

  128. What does it teach us about God?

  129. How does it relate to Jesus?

  130. This book helps us to live life in the fear of the Lord,

  131. to live every moment before the presence of God,

  132. under the authority of God,

  133. and for the glory of God.

  134. As Proverbs chapter one, verse seven says,

  135. the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

  136. Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

  137. A person who trusts God,

  138. who loves him,

  139. who lives for him,

  140. this will be a person who lives in the fear of God.

  141. And it is a life entered into by humbling ourselves

  142. and receiving the message of Christ crucified for us.

  143. That we who are sinners condemned to death,

  144. we were loved so much by God

  145. that he sent his only son into the world

  146. to die on our behalf on the cross.

  147. And those who trust in Christ for salvation

  148. will be saved from death to eternal life.

  149. That's what we humbly receive and trust.

  150. This is the ultimate wisdom that this world foolishly despises

  151. because it disagrees either with the idea

  152. that it needs saving

  153. or it doesn't like having to be saved

  154. through faith in Jesus.

  155. But for us, Christ is our wisdom from God.

  156. It's in this Christ-centered life

  157. that the wisdom of Proverbs comes alive

  158. and that it makes sense.

  159. So that's the theological context.

  160. We've covered the first four chapters so far.

  161. And in the first four chapters,

  162. we've hit themes like

  163. the importance of getting wisdom,

  164. entrusting ourselves completely to God,

  165. seeing the signposts from God's word

  166. that tell us to beware of sin,

  167. turn away from sin,

  168. to walk in his ways, God's ways.

  169. And one of the signposts back in chapter two

  170. was about adultery.

  171. And our chapter today goes into more depth

  172. on this topic of adultery.

  173. It serves as a huge signpost that says,

  174. warning, danger, don't commit adultery, turn away.

  175. That's what this chapter says.

  176. So the main message of our passage today

  177. is that we should stay away from the adulteress

  178. and take pleasure in our spouse

  179. as God intended us to do.

  180. The passage is organized into three parts.

  181. There's verses one through six

  182. on the end of adultery as death.

  183. Verses seven through 14

  184. on the consequences of adultery as ruin.

  185. And verses 15 through 23

  186. on the ways of God as the light.

  187. A quick pause here for our parents

  188. to point out that the content of this chapter

  189. involves the topics of adultery

  190. and intimacy in marriage.

  191. And I know we have a broad age group

  192. tuning in to our worship service.

  193. So I'll do my best to keep this child friendly.

  194. That being said,

  195. the passage itself is relatively racy

  196. as we've already read.

  197. And God's word is very good

  198. and does not require any censorship.

  199. So anyway,

  200. I want to give that quick heads up

  201. for parents before we dive in here.

  202. So let's look at the first section

  203. in verses one through six.

  204. It talks about the end of adultery being death.

  205. So verse one says,

  206. my son, be attentive to my wisdom.

  207. Incline your ear to my understanding.

  208. You know, a child might make bad life decisions

  209. because no one's around to tell him any better.

  210. Or he might be getting good advice,

  211. but choosing to ignore it.

  212. So it's helpful for us to be told

  213. to listen up to wisdom.

  214. And in verses two through four,

  215. we see a contrast between

  216. the lips of the son

  217. and the lips of the forbidden woman.

  218. The son having received wisdom into his heart,

  219. he must now guard this knowledge

  220. with his lips, it says.

  221. In other words,

  222. he must carefully consider this knowledge.

  223. He's got to think about it,

  224. ponder it,

  225. which will lead to him eventually speaking it

  226. and even teaching them to other people.

  227. This is in contrast to the lips

  228. of the forbidden woman,

  229. which drip honey

  230. and are smoother than oil,

  231. but lead to death.

  232. What's translated in verse three

  233. as forbidden woman

  234. is literally foreigner or stranger.

  235. In this context,

  236. it refers to someone

  237. who is outside the circle

  238. of a man's proper relations,

  239. is foreign to that.

  240. So here it's an adulteress

  241. who is forbidden to a man.

  242. And here her words are described

  243. as dripping honey

  244. and smoother than oil.

  245. They are seductive,

  246. sweet to listen to.

  247. They promise pleasure and satisfaction.

  248. And maybe in our lives,

  249. they might appear as subtle compliments

  250. about our appearance

  251. or caring questions

  252. that try to make an emotional connection.

  253. They might be flirtatious

  254. or suggested innuendos,

  255. but all that seek entrance

  256. into the intimate spaces of our hearts

  257. that are reserved solely for our spouse.

  258. So don't be fooled by these sweet words.

  259. They are initially sweet,

  260. but they hide the poisonous aftertaste of death.

  261. It says in verses four through six,

  262. but in the end,

  263. she is bitter as the wormwood,

  264. sharp as a two-edged sword.

  265. Her feet go down to death.

  266. Her steps follow the path to shale.

  267. She does not ponder the path of life.

  268. Her ways wander,

  269. and she does not know it.

  270. Her words start sweet as honey.

  271. But in the end,

  272. it's bitter as wormwood.

  273. They're smoother than oil,

  274. but then they're sharp like a sword.

  275. I think this is a helpful description for us

  276. of how sin operates

  277. and how the devil tries to lure us in.

  278. Sin does have something pleasurable about it.

  279. It's appealing,

  280. or else we never get tempted by it.

  281. But it's important for us to consider

  282. what it's going to end up like.

  283. I have this image of Satan

  284. walking the streets of East Cambridge,

  285. and it's sadly a common occurrence

  286. to find a lot of dog poop around

  287. because people don't pick up the dog poop.

  288. So I think of Satan,

  289. like picking up one of those pieces of dog poop

  290. and covering it with a few coats of honey,

  291. and then he hands it over to you.

  292. So that's what it's like to be offered sin,

  293. to be offered adultery.

  294. He likes to tell us

  295. about the initial pleasures of sin

  296. while hiding its bitterness

  297. and hiding its death

  298. that inevitably come and destroy us.

  299. It's like when he deceived Adam and Eve

  300. in the garden,

  301. but he lied.

  302. He lied,

  303. and he said that they wouldn't die,

  304. which was exactly contrary

  305. to what God had told them.

  306. Or when he advertises the fun

  307. of getting drunk

  308. while hiding the hangover,

  309. bad decision-making,

  310. long-term health risks

  311. like liver disease,

  312. if that's kept up.

  313. Or when we're tempted to vent our anger

  314. and verbally abuse someone

  315. because, honestly,

  316. it just feels so good sometimes

  317. to let loose.

  318. But we don't see the hurt

  319. and the pain that comes

  320. and the healing that's needed

  321. because we fail to speak truth in love.

  322. Or here in this chapter,

  323. when we're tempted to enjoy sex

  324. outside of marriage,

  325. and we only see the gratification,

  326. we only see the immediate opportunity,

  327. but not the pain,

  328. the emptiness,

  329. our opening the way up

  330. for possible divorce

  331. and abortions

  332. and health issues.

  333. But again,

  334. coming back to

  335. what Proverbs,

  336. the book,

  337. is about,

  338. here we see the importance

  339. of the fear of God

  340. being the foundation of wisdom

  341. because

  342. even with these examples

  343. that I've mentioned,

  344. it's possible to weigh

  345. the pros and cons

  346. without God in the picture

  347. and say,

  348. yeah,

  349. it's still worth it for me.

  350. There are ways

  351. that I can protect myself

  352. enough from the risks.

  353. But if God is

  354. our Heavenly Father

  355. who loves us,

  356. if Christ is the one

  357. who died for us,

  358. if the Holy Spirit

  359. is within us

  360. to empower us

  361. to become more like Christ,

  362. then the pros

  363. never outweigh the cons.

  364. It's never worth it

  365. for us to sin.

  366. So here we see

  367. the importance

  368. of the fear of God.

  369. Finally,

  370. at the end of the section,

  371. notice in verse 6

  372. how the adulterous woman

  373. is lost.

  374. She's not seeking

  375. the paths of life

  376. and wisdom.

  377. She doesn't know

  378. that she's lost.

  379. This person

  380. who's speaking smoothly

  381. and sweetly to you,

  382. who's pleasant,

  383. but trying to get you

  384. to stray from God's ways,

  385. this person doesn't have

  386. your best interests

  387. at heart.

  388. She doesn't even have

  389. her own best interests

  390. at heart.

  391. So we see that

  392. the end of adultery

  393. is death.

  394. And there is wisdom

  395. in considering

  396. the end

  397. of our decisions.

  398. Moving on to

  399. the second section

  400. of verses 7 through 14,

  401. there's another plea

  402. to listen to these words

  403. of wisdom

  404. because the consequences

  405. of adultery

  406. is ruin.

  407. The specific advice

  408. in verse 8 is,

  409. it says,

  410. keep your way

  411. far from her

  412. and do not go near

  413. the door of her house.

  414. Adultery is not something

  415. to be played around with.

  416. We need to take it seriously.

  417. We need to flee

  418. from this temptation.

  419. A great biblical example

  420. of doing this well

  421. is Joseph

  422. in Genesis 39.

  423. So Joseph

  424. is one of the

  425. 12 sons of Jacob

  426. and he's sold

  427. into slavery

  428. by his brothers.

  429. And he ends up

  430. being bought

  431. by a man

  432. named Potiphar.

  433. So listen with me

  434. as I read

  435. a few verses

  436. from Genesis

    Genesis 39 chapter mention

  437. chapter 39.

  438. Now,

  439. Joseph had been

  440. brought down

  441. to Egypt

  442. and Potiphar,

  443. an officer of Pharaoh,

  444. the captain of the guard,

  445. an Egyptian,

  446. had bought him

  447. from the Ishmaelites

  448. who had brought him

  449. down there.

  450. The Lord was

  451. with Joseph

  452. and he became

  453. a successful man

  454. and he was in the house

  455. of his Egyptian master.

  456. His master saw

  457. that the Lord

  458. was with him

  459. and that the Lord

  460. caused all that he did

  461. to succeed in his hands.

  462. So Joseph found favor

  463. in his sight

  464. and attended him

  465. and made him

  466. overseer of his house

  467. and he put him

  468. in charge

  469. of all that he had.

  470. From the time

  471. that he made him

  472. overseer in his house

  473. and over all that he had,

  474. the Lord blessed

  475. the Egyptian's house

  476. for Joseph's sake.

  477. The blessing of the Lord

  478. was on all that he had

  479. in house and field.

  480. So he left all that he had

  481. in Joseph's charge

  482. and because of him

  483. he had no concern

  484. about anything

  485. but the food he ate.

  486. Now Joseph was handsome

  487. in form and appearance

  488. and after a time

  489. his master's wife

  490. cast her eyes

  491. on Joseph

  492. and said,

  493. Lie with me.

  494. But he refused

  495. and said to his master's wife,

  496. Behold,

  497. because of me

  498. my master

  499. has no concern

  500. about anything

  501. in the house

  502. and he has put everything

  503. that he has

  504. in my charge.

  505. He is not greater

  506. in this house

  507. than I am

  508. nor has he kept back

  509. anything from me

  510. except you

  511. because you are his wife.

  512. How then can I do

  513. this great wickedness

  514. and sin against God?

  515. And as she spoke to him,

  516. as he spoke to Joseph

  517. day after day,

  518. he would not listen to her

  519. to lie beside her

  520. or to be with her.

  521. But one day

  522. when he went into the house

  523. to do his work

  524. and none of the men

  525. of the house

  526. was there in the house,

  527. she caught him

  528. by his garment

  529. saying,

  530. Lie with me.

  531. But he left his garment

  532. in her hand

  533. and fled

  534. and got out

  535. of the house.

  536. So what does

  537. Joseph do well here?

  538. First,

  539. we see that

  540. he maintained

  541. a strong connection

  542. and a strong relationship

  543. with God.

  544. His primary objection

  545. was,

  546. How can I do this wrong

  547. against God?

  548. Even through

  549. his very difficult

  550. circumstances,

  551. he cultivated

  552. this deep

  553. relationship

  554. with God

  555. and he didn't

  556. turn away

  557. from him.

  558. Second,

  559. we see that

  560. he didn't

  561. justify adultery.

  562. He doesn't think

  563. to himself,

  564. you know,

  565. I've had a hard life.

  566. I deserve this.

  567. It's not that big

  568. of a deal.

  569. My master

  570. is a loser anyway.

  571. I mean,

  572. I'm doing all the hard

  573. work around here.

  574. I'm earning the money.

  575. Plus,

  576. his wife wants me

  577. more than he wants.

  578. than him.

  579. Right?

  580. So he doesn't

  581. think these thoughts.

  582. And the situation

  583. is not about himself

  584. and what he wants,

  585. but it's about

  586. loving God.

  587. It's about loving

  588. his master

  589. who's treated him

  590. so well.

  591. Third,

  592. he makes no space

  593. for temptation.

  594. He refuses

  595. to even be

  596. with Potiphar's wife

  597. in verse 10

  598. once he identifies

  599. this temptation.

  600. And when she

  601. tries to trap him,

  602. he bolts.

  603. He just gets out of there.

  604. He even leaves

  605. his clothes behind him.

  606. What does this look

  607. like for us?

  608. Maybe it's

  609. in a work situation.

  610. Maybe there's

  611. someone at work

  612. who's making advances

  613. towards you.

  614. Someone that you

  615. have a ton

  616. of contact with

  617. and honestly,

  618. you can't avoid

  619. not seeing this person.

  620. You know that

  621. he or she

  622. is going to be

  623. a problem

  624. for your marriage.

  625. So then maybe

  626. it's time to look

  627. for another job.

  628. or there's a friend

  629. of the opposite sex

  630. that you spend

  631. a lot of time with.

  632. You get along

  633. with really well

  634. but you guys

  635. are getting

  636. uncomfortably close.

  637. You're sharing

  638. too many deep things,

  639. being more

  640. emotionally connected

  641. with this person

  642. than with your spouse.

  643. Maybe it's time

  644. to cut that friendship off.

  645. Whatever it might be,

  646. again,

  647. this is something

  648. to take seriously.

  649. It's something

  650. to flee.

  651. We've got to identify

  652. its sources

  653. and kill it.

  654. It also helps

  655. to share

  656. this temptation

  657. with a close

  658. Christian friend

  659. so you can be

  660. prayed for,

  661. you can be

  662. kept accountable

  663. and so that's helpful.

  664. Moving on

  665. in the passage,

  666. verses 9-14,

  667. they talk about

  668. the consequences

  669. of adultery.

  670. Verses 9-10 say,

  671. Lest you give

  672. your honor to others

  673. and your years

  674. to the merciless,

  675. lest strangers

  676. take their fill

  677. of your strength

  678. and your labors

  679. go to the house

  680. of a foreigner.

  681. These verses

  682. talk about

  683. the economic ruin

  684. that come from

  685. infidelity.

  686. So the words

  687. your honor,

  688. your years,

  689. your strength,

  690. your labors,

  691. these talk about

  692. the effort

  693. and the good yield

  694. of one's life

  695. and they're being

  696. funneled

  697. because of adultery

  698. to others.

  699. It's unclear

  700. exactly who

  701. the others are.

  702. There are a few

  703. possibilities.

  704. It could be

  705. the jealous husband

  706. of the adulteress.

  707. It could be

  708. that man's family.

  709. It could be

  710. the family

  711. of this person's

  712. cheated wife.

  713. And in terms

  714. of what we see

  715. and what we might

  716. see in our lives,

  717. the financial consequences

  718. of adultery,

  719. you know,

  720. they can be

  721. a divorce settlement,

  722. they can be

  723. child support payments,

  724. they could be

  725. blackmail

  726. from the person

  727. that you had

  728. an affair with,

  729. but it's pointing

  730. to the fact

  731. that adultery

  732. can ruin you

  733. economically

  734. and financially.

  735. Verse 11

  736. speaks of

  737. groaning

  738. at the end

  739. of one's life.

  740. It says,

  741. when your flesh

  742. and body

  743. are consumed.

  744. This could refer

  745. to the ill physical

  746. effects

  747. of sexual immorality,

  748. for example,

  749. from sexually

  750. transmitted diseases,

  751. though this

  752. doesn't necessarily

  753. have to be the case

  754. in this passage.

  755. It might just be

  756. saying that

  757. at the end of life,

  758. when this person's

  759. physical vitality

  760. has left him,

  761. he looks back

  762. on his life

  763. with regret

  764. at the decisions

  765. he's made.

  766. So that's

  767. verse 11.

  768. In verse 14,

  769. it refers to

  770. the social

  771. consequences

  772. of

  773. this person's

  774. mistakes.

  775. So it says,

  776. I am at the brink

  777. of utter ruin

  778. in the assembled

  779. congregation.

  780. When infidelity

  781. comes to light

  782. in a public setting,

  783. there could be

  784. dishonor

  785. and humiliation

  786. for those

  787. involved in the affair

  788. and also those

  789. related to those people.

  790. There might be

  791. professional consequences,

  792. for example,

  793. for those in government

  794. whose roles

  795. involve

  796. and require

  797. public trust

  798. and opinion.

  799. And so

  800. the takeaway

  801. from this section

  802. is that

  803. adultery

  804. can bring

  805. ruin

  806. to your life

  807. economically,

  808. physically,

  809. and socially.

  810. Finally,

  811. in the last section

  812. in verses

  813. 15 to 23,

  814. we read about

  815. the ways of God

  816. as the light

  817. and how we

  818. should live.

  819. Remember that

  820. repentance

  821. involves

  822. a turning away

  823. from sin,

  824. but it's not

  825. just a turning

  826. away from sin.

  827. It's a turning

  828. to God

  829. in faith

  830. and obedience.

  831. So they're

  832. two sides

  833. of the same coin.

  834. So this chapter

  835. has already

  836. instructed us

  837. that the sin

  838. that we're

  839. turning away

  840. from is

  841. adultery

  842. and we're

  843. turning to God

  844. and walking

  845. in His ways

  846. of being

  847. sexually satisfied

  848. in our spouse.

  849. the imagery

  850. of drinking

  851. water

  852. is present

  853. throughout

  854. these verses

  855. referring to

  856. our thirst

  857. being quenched.

  858. There's

  859. drink water

  860. from your own

  861. cistern

  862. in verse 15.

  863. In verse 16,

  864. it says

  865. it points to

  866. streams of water.

  867. Let your fountain

  868. be blessed

  869. in verse 18.

  870. And this points

  871. to the fact

  872. that God

  873. has created us

  874. as sexual creatures

  875. and He has

  876. provided for us

  877. with marriage

  878. to meet our

  879. sexual desires

  880. where we can

  881. satisfy our thirst

  882. and we can

  883. drink deeply

  884. from our spouse.

  885. This idea

  886. of drinking

  887. water

  888. from your

  889. own cistern

  890. is referring

  891. to the water

  892. pit that people

  893. in the dry

  894. area of Canaan

  895. would hollow out

  896. in the rocky

  897. ground.

  898. So they would

  899. dig this pit

  900. and then they

  901. would use it

  902. to collect

  903. and store

  904. rainwater.

  905. for its owner.

  906. And verses

  907. 16 through 17

  908. say,

  909. should your springs

  910. be scattered

  911. abroad,

  912. streams of water

  913. in the streets,

  914. let them be

  915. for yourself

  916. alone and not

  917. for strangers

  918. with you.

  919. These verses

  920. are saying

  921. enjoy the spouse

  922. that only

  923. you have access

  924. to.

  925. It's referring

  926. to the idea

  927. of privately

  928. owned property

  929. versus common

  930. property.

  931. As in

  932. only you can

  933. drink from

  934. the cistern

  935. in your

  936. backyard

  937. that you

  938. dug

  939. while the

  940. water fountain

  941. in the park,

  942. I mean,

  943. anyone can

  944. drink from

  945. there,

  946. right?

  947. So within

  948. a faithful

  949. marriage,

  950. husband and

  951. wife are

  952. enjoying one

  953. another

  954. exclusively,

  955. whereas with

  956. an adulteress,

  957. she or he

  958. is less

  959. concerned about

  960. exclusivity

  961. and more

  962. concerned about

  963. availability,

  964. right?

  965. So these

  966. verses are

  967. saying,

  968. don't let the

  969. source of your

  970. satisfaction be

  971. common and

  972. shared,

  973. but let it be

  974. private,

  975. special,

  976. belonging to

  977. you only.

  978. There's also

  979. the alternative

  980. interpretation

  981. that this

  982. warning of

  983. not letting

  984. your springs

  985. be scattered

  986. abroad,

  987. that it's

  988. a warning

  989. that your

  990. spouse might

  991. be unfaithful

  992. to you if

  993. you are

  994. unfaithful.

  995. I think

  996. this interpretation

  997. is problematic

  998. for a couple

  999. reasons.

  1000. First,

  1001. the wife

  1002. in verse

  1003. 15 is

  1004. referred to

  1005. in the

  1006. singular as

  1007. your own

  1008. sister and

  1009. your own

  1010. well,

  1011. but in

  1012. verse 16,

  1013. it talks

  1014. about springs

  1015. and streams

  1016. in the

  1017. plural.

  1018. So there's

  1019. no good

  1020. reason that

  1021. a wife

  1022. would be

  1023. changed from

  1024. singular to

  1025. plural from

  1026. one verse

  1027. to the

  1028. next.

  1029. And also

  1030. a second

  1031. problem is

  1032. in terms of

  1033. cause and

  1034. effect,

  1035. it's difficult

  1036. to think

  1037. that just

  1038. because you

  1039. are unfaithful

  1040. you would

  1041. automatically

  1042. cause your

  1043. spouse to

  1044. choose to

  1045. be unfaithful.

  1046. He or she

  1047. might be

  1048. deeply hurt,

  1049. yes,

  1050. extremely angry,

  1051. yes,

  1052. but making

  1053. the same

  1054. foolish

  1055. decisions

  1056. that you

  1057. make,

  1058. that is

  1059. not necessarily

  1060. true.

  1061. So I

  1062. would go

  1063. with the

  1064. previous

  1065. interpretation.

  1066. Moving on

  1067. to verses

  1068. 18 to

  1069. 19,

  1070. notice the

  1071. imagery and

  1072. language used

  1073. here.

  1074. It says,

  1075. rejoice in

  1076. the wife

  1077. of your

  1078. youth,

  1079. a lovely

  1080. dear,

  1081. a graceful

  1082. doe.

  1083. Let her

  1084. breasts fill

  1085. you at all

  1086. times with

  1087. delight,

  1088. being intoxicated

  1089. always in

  1090. her love.

  1091. The husband

  1092. is to be

  1093. intoxicated,

  1094. drenched,

  1095. lost in

  1096. his wife's

  1097. love.

  1098. This phrase

  1099. of being

  1100. intoxicated

  1101. again is a

  1102. bit racy as

  1103. I mentioned

  1104. earlier and

  1105. it can have

  1106. negative

  1107. connotations

  1108. when referring

  1109. to alcohol

  1110. or even

  1111. the adulterers

  1112. in verse 20.

  1113. But when it

  1114. comes to the

  1115. love of your

  1116. spouse,

  1117. it's a

  1118. good thing

  1119. to be

  1120. lost in

  1121. her love

  1122. and in

  1123. his love.

  1124. note that

  1125. this enjoyment

  1126. of one's

  1127. spouse is

  1128. both

  1129. qualitative

  1130. and

  1131. quantitative.

  1132. Qualitatively,

  1133. the husband

  1134. rejoices and

  1135. is filled

  1136. with delight.

  1137. And

  1138. quantitatively,

  1139. it is at

  1140. all times

  1141. and always.

  1142. Of course,

  1143. there's more

  1144. wisdom that

  1145. goes into

  1146. the practical

  1147. implications

  1148. of a

  1149. healthy love

  1150. life.

  1151. So if

  1152. your husband

  1153. planning on

  1154. coming to

  1155. shop for

  1156. counseling and

  1157. complaining that

  1158. your wife

  1159. isn't

  1160. intoxicating

  1161. you enough

  1162. since she's

  1163. not at

  1164. all times

  1165. and always

  1166. providing for

  1167. you when

  1168. you want

  1169. it,

  1170. and you

  1171. want him

  1172. to call

  1173. her out

  1174. that she's

  1175. a bad

  1176. wife,

  1177. you should

  1178. prepare to

  1179. be surprised,

  1180. disappointed

  1181. when he calls

  1182. you out as

  1183. a bad

  1184. husband.

  1185. But still,

  1186. it's important

  1187. here of the

  1188. idea that

  1189. the wife is

  1190. available to

  1191. quench the

  1192. husband's

  1193. thirst and

  1194. vice versa.

  1195. That's how

  1196. God meant

  1197. it to be.

  1198. In verses

  1199. 21 through

  1200. 23,

  1201. it ends

  1202. the chapter

  1203. by pointing

  1204. out God's

  1205. omniscience

  1206. and justice.

  1207. So God

  1208. is omniscient.

  1209. He knows

  1210. all,

  1211. he sees

  1212. all,

  1213. all the

  1214. paths of

  1215. men are

  1216. before him.

  1217. And God

  1218. is just.

  1219. The wicked

  1220. will face

  1221. the consequences

  1222. of their

  1223. sin and

  1224. their foolishness.

  1225. And though

  1226. we're talking

  1227. specifically about

  1228. adultery in

  1229. this chapter,

  1230. these verses

  1231. help to zoom

  1232. out onto

  1233. all sin.

  1234. it's not

  1235. just adultery

  1236. that arises

  1237. from a

  1238. lack of

  1239. discipline,

  1240. as it says

  1241. in verses

  1242. 23,

  1243. but all

  1244. wickedness.

  1245. So let's

  1246. wrap up by

  1247. talking a

  1248. few application

  1249. points here.

  1250. Why might

  1251. we be tempted

  1252. to commit

  1253. adultery?

  1254. What lies

  1255. does the

  1256. enemy throw

  1257. into our

  1258. faces to

  1259. tempt us?

  1260. One thought

  1261. is around

  1262. our needs

  1263. being satisfied.

  1264. We might

  1265. think my

  1266. needs aren't

  1267. being met.

  1268. My marriage

  1269. is really

  1270. difficult.

  1271. And honestly,

  1272. it has been

  1273. for a long

  1274. time.

  1275. This chapter

  1276. paints a

  1277. rosy but

  1278. unrealistic

  1279. picture of

  1280. marriage.

  1281. I deserve

  1282. to be happy,

  1283. even if that's

  1284. not with my

  1285. spouse.

  1286. So that

  1287. is one

  1288. thought.

  1289. First,

  1290. let me address

  1291. that marriage

  1292. is difficult.

  1293. It's really

  1294. difficult.

  1295. We are all

  1296. sinful people.

  1297. And two

  1298. people in

  1299. marriage,

  1300. it's like

  1301. two pieces

  1302. of rough

  1303. metal that

  1304. come really

  1305. close and

  1306. rub against

  1307. each other.

  1308. There's going

  1309. to be

  1310. friction.

  1311. There's going

  1312. to be

  1313. sparks flying

  1314. sometimes.

  1315. We should

  1316. expect this

  1317. and not be

  1318. surprised by

  1319. it.

  1320. So I don't

  1321. want to

  1322. devalue that.

  1323. But second,

  1324. marriage is

  1325. not about

  1326. our happiness.

  1327. That's not

  1328. what this

  1329. world wants

  1330. to tell us.

  1331. It wants

  1332. you to think

  1333. that it's

  1334. all about

  1335. you.

  1336. This world

  1337. sells us on

  1338. products and

  1339. services that

  1340. make our

  1341. lives easier,

  1342. more satisfying.

  1343. But marriage

  1344. is not

  1345. about you.

  1346. It's not

  1347. about me.

  1348. It's not

  1349. about our

  1350. happily ever

  1351. after.

  1352. Of course,

  1353. happiness does

  1354. take place in

  1355. marriage, but

  1356. it's not like

  1357. a marriage is

  1358. broken if a

  1359. person's not

  1360. happy.

  1361. Instead,

  1362. marriage is a

  1363. reflection of

  1364. Christ's

  1365. relationship with

  1366. the church.

  1367. And when we

  1368. reflect this

  1369. well, we

  1370. point to how

  1371. wonderful God

  1372. is, how

  1373. great he

  1374. is.

  1375. How does

  1376. Jesus treat

  1377. his pride?

  1378. How does

  1379. he treat us

  1380. to church?

  1381. We know

  1382. that he

  1383. loves us,

  1384. he nourishes

  1385. us, he

  1386. cherishes

  1387. us, he

  1388. chooses to

  1389. take the

  1390. worst from

  1391. us, all

  1392. of our

  1393. mistakes, all

  1394. of the

  1395. hateful venom

  1396. that will spit

  1397. out at him,

  1398. all of our

  1399. burdens.

  1400. He takes our

  1401. worst and in

  1402. return he gives

  1403. us his best.

  1404. On the cross,

  1405. he took away

  1406. our sin and

  1407. he was punished

  1408. on our behalf.

  1409. And in him,

  1410. we have every

  1411. spiritual blessing

  1412. in the heavenly

  1413. places.

  1414. He was rich,

  1415. yet for our

  1416. sake he became

  1417. poor so that

  1418. we, by his

  1419. poverty, might

  1420. become rich.

  1421. I mean, how

  1422. absurd would it

  1423. be if Jesus

  1424. treated us the

  1425. same way that

  1426. spouses so

  1427. often treat each

  1428. other in this

  1429. world?

  1430. You know, if he

  1431. said, Ray,

  1432. you know, I've

  1433. sorry, I've

  1434. decided to end

  1435. our relationship

  1436. because you're

  1437. not really

  1438. satisfying my

  1439. needs and

  1440. desires.

  1441. You've been

  1442. growing apart

  1443. from me these

  1444. past few

  1445. years.

  1446. Honestly, you

  1447. care more

  1448. about your

  1449. family, your

  1450. next promotion,

  1451. you're binging

  1452. on Netflix,

  1453. than you care

  1454. about prayer and

  1455. Bible study.

  1456. You know, you

  1457. must not know

  1458. about me, Ray,

  1459. because there are

  1460. a ton of other

  1461. people who

  1462. appreciate me a

  1463. lot more than

  1464. you, right?

  1465. That's pretty

  1466. ridiculous.

  1467. We know that

  1468. God will never

  1469. leave us nor

  1470. forsake us,

  1471. that he has

  1472. loved us with

  1473. an everlasting

  1474. love.

  1475. Jesus is

  1476. faithful to

  1477. us.

  1478. So marriage

  1479. is not about

  1480. our happiness.

  1481. It's about

  1482. reflecting Christ

  1483. in the church.

  1484. And it's also

  1485. about our

  1486. sanctification.

  1487. It's about

  1488. becoming more

  1489. and more holy,

  1490. becoming more

  1491. and more like

  1492. Jesus.

  1493. On the cross,

  1494. Jesus took our

  1495. worst and gave

  1496. us his best,

  1497. right?

  1498. So in marriage,

  1499. we get the

  1500. opportunity to

  1501. demonstrate that

  1502. to someone

  1503. else.

  1504. Because marriage

  1505. brings out the

  1506. good and the

  1507. bad and the

  1508. ugly, we can

  1509. have the

  1510. opportunity to

  1511. receive hurtful

  1512. words,

  1513. inconsiderate

  1514. actions,

  1515. gross

  1516. incompetence,

  1517. and in

  1518. response, we

  1519. get to choose

  1520. to give

  1521. kindness and

  1522. patience and

  1523. love.

  1524. this is

  1525. impossible on

  1526. our own.

  1527. We can't do

  1528. it.

  1529. And the

  1530. world doesn't

  1531. sell us

  1532. anything that

  1533. can help us

  1534. with this.

  1535. It's only

  1536. God by the

  1537. Holy Spirit

  1538. through Jesus

  1539. Christ that

  1540. we are made

  1541. new again.

  1542. Another thought

  1543. that might

  1544. tempt us to

  1545. adultery is

  1546. that I'm

  1547. strong enough

  1548. to fight this

  1549. temptation or

  1550. I'm not

  1551. susceptible to

  1552. this.

  1553. And though

  1554. it might not

  1555. be a

  1556. particular

  1557. temptation or

  1558. chronic sin

  1559. now for

  1560. us, we

  1561. shouldn't let

  1562. our guard

  1563. down.

  1564. It's when

  1565. we're tired,

  1566. when life

  1567. is hard,

  1568. when marriage

  1569. is hard,

  1570. when we're

  1571. not our

  1572. best selves,

  1573. that then

  1574. a woman or

  1575. a man who's

  1576. basically trained

  1577. himself or

  1578. herself to

  1579. be a

  1580. professional

  1581. seductress or

  1582. seductor who

  1583. comes our way,

  1584. and that's when

  1585. we can all be

  1586. caught off guard.

  1587. So don't

  1588. play with

  1589. fire, but

  1590. again, flee

  1591. from sin,

  1592. flee from

  1593. temptation.

  1594. Another reason

  1595. we might be

  1596. tempted towards

  1597. adultery is

  1598. the thought that

  1599. I'm strong

  1600. enough to

  1601. figure it out

  1602. on my own,

  1603. and here I'm

  1604. referring specifically

  1605. to marriage

  1606. struggles.

  1607. When things are

  1608. hard, I can

  1609. just plow

  1610. through it.

  1611. We are

  1612. supposed to be

  1613. sexually gratified

  1614. in our marriages,

  1615. relationships, but

  1616. that might not

  1617. be the case

  1618. due to a

  1619. lot of other

  1620. reasons that

  1621. don't have to

  1622. do with sex

  1623. directly.

  1624. For example,

  1625. ineffective

  1626. communication,

  1627. constant conflict,

  1628. emotional

  1629. disconnection,

  1630. a lack of

  1631. time in a

  1632. busy life, a

  1633. lot of things

  1634. can happen.

  1635. And so we

  1636. might be tempted

  1637. to tough it

  1638. out and figure

  1639. it out on our

  1640. own, but

  1641. honestly, it

  1642. can save us a

  1643. lot of time,

  1644. a lot of

  1645. heartache to

  1646. seek out help

  1647. from church

  1648. elders and

  1649. from professional

  1650. counseling.

  1651. So I'll

  1652. encourage you

  1653. guys to

  1654. look into

  1655. that and

  1656. feel free to

  1657. speak to me

  1658. or Sean or

  1659. Matt about

  1660. this more if

  1661. you're interested

  1662. in pursuing

  1663. this and we

  1664. can help

  1665. direct you

  1666. guys.

  1667. So in

  1668. conclusion,

  1669. brothers and

  1670. sisters,

  1671. please be

  1672. attentive.

  1673. Be attentive

  1674. to God's

  1675. words.

  1676. Keep your

  1677. way far from

  1678. the adulterer

  1679. that brings

  1680. death,

  1681. and ruin.

  1682. Seek to be

  1683. satisfied in

  1684. your spouse

  1685. and remember

  1686. that God

  1687. loves us and

  1688. he wants the

  1689. best for us.

  1690. Amen.