The Seventh Word: Committing Adultery Against Your Neighbor

Good morning, everyone. Let me, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Sean. I'm one of

the pastors of Trinity Cambridge Church, and again, it's my joy and privilege to preach God's Word to

you this morning. We've been going through a series in the book of Exodus, and we've been

doing a short mini-series through the Ten Commandments, and so we're on the Seventh

Commandment today. So if you'd open your Bibles with me to Exodus chapter 20, verse 14. If you

Exodus 20:14

don't have a Bible, if you raise your hand, we have some people who can bring a Bible along to

you that you can use while you're here. Exodus chapter 20. Let me pray for the reading and

Exodus 20 · chapter mention

preaching of God's Word. Heavenly Father, show us this morning that your commands are not only right,

but that they are good, that they promote our flourishing, to captivate us this morning with

the beauty of Christ, our Bridegroom, so we might be faithful to Him, that we as a church might be a

bride that is holy, set apart for Him. Speak to us from your Word. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

If you would please stand, if you're able, for the reading of God's Word. I'm not going to read the

whole section. I'm going to read the prologue, verses 1 to 2, and then I'll skip over to verse 14,

in our commandment for today. Exodus 20. And God spoke all these words, saying,

I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

You shall not commit adultery. This is God's holy and authoritative Word. Please be seated.

In an age of Tinder and Grindr and Ashley Madison, sexual flings are just a click away.

According to an article in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, it estimates 50 to 60%

of married men and 45 to 55% of married women commit adultery. That's nearly 50% of married women

couples get divorced. And over 70% of second marriages end in divorce. That means marital

infidelity affects nearly half of all couples. In light of such disheartening data, some so-called

experts have given up on monogamy altogether. There was a feature article in the New York Times

2017 called, Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage? There are books like The New Monogamy or The Ethical

Slut that encourage all forms of open relationships as long as it's consensual. In a TEDx video, which

nearly has 4.5 million views, entitled Monogamish, The New Rules of Marriage, sexologist Jessica O'Reilly

asserts that, quote, marriage is a failure in human design. And she continues, marriage can be restrictive

in personal growth and even repressive in its demands of absolute monogamy. In any other realm, if we saw

failure rates like we saw in marriage, we would do something about it. When anything doesn't work, we innovate.

So why do we accept monogamous marriage in its current form, despite its design flaws?

The flaw in her logic is that she assumes that the fault lies with the institution of marriage

rather than with the people who got married. Let me offer a comparison. The vast majority of students

who start learning a musical instrument give up before attaining even a modest level of competency.

But did it occur to anyone to tell these students that the problem is not their lack of self-control

or perseverance, but the design flaws of the instruments?

That these musical instruments are a failure in human design?

The fact that something isn't easy to do doesn't mean that it's not possible to do or that something

is wrong with it. Plus, marriage is not even a human design. It's a divine design. If it doesn't work,

it's because humans are broken and sinful, not because God made a mistake.

The so-called new monogamy is simply the old adultery. As G.K. Chesterton once quipped,

fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions. This is the teaching of the

seventh word of the Decalogue. As the redeemed bride of Christ, we should flee adultery of the body

and the heart. That's the main point. But in order to understand this commandment rightly, we need to

first talk about what marriage is, and then we'll talk about what adultery is, and then finally about what

the gospel is. So first, we need to understand what the marriage is, and in order to do that,

we need to go back to the beginning. In Genesis 2, 18, God looks at the man that he has created,

and he says this, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him.

So in the preceding account, if you're familiar with the Genesis creation account, you know that

after each creative act, there's a refrain. God saw that it was good. So after creating the light,

the sea, the plants, the sun, and the moon, and the stars, the birds, and the fish, and the land

creatures, God says, I saw, he sees it, and he says it was good. But this is the first time in the

creation narrative when God sees something, and he says, it is not good. It's not good that the man is

alone. It's a jarring effect. In God's judgment, something was missing. The man's aloneness was not

good. So he determined, I will make a helper fit for him. And the phrase fit for him is literally

like opposite him. It expresses a sense of fittedness and complementarity, like hand that fits snugly into

a glove. It fits into gloves precisely because the glove is hollow in the shape of a hand. It's opposite

each other. Like interlocking gears with one turning, for you, counterclockwise, the other one

turning clockwise. Like an interwead pattern of threads that form an intricate pattern precisely

because it's going in opposite directions. This pattern of complementarity runs through all of

creation. That's why we see God separating and distinguishing his works of creation throughout

Genesis 1. The heavens and the earth, light from darkness, the waters below and the waters above,

the dry land and the seas, seed-yielding plants and fruit-bearing plants, sun and the moon, the fish

of the seas and the birds of the sky. And then finally he creates man and woman. Chapter 2, verses 90 to 20

10. It's kind of a cool scene to imagine. The narrative kind of reads like the first ever speed

dating. All the animals pass in front of Adam. Adam takes a look, gives it a name, and then says,

no. They pass through. Right. You could imagine Adam at the end of the line hanging his head

and saying to God, God, all of these are marvelous creatures, so diverse in their beauty and glory that

you have created, but none of them is for me. And so the Lord puts Adam to sleep, takes one of Adam's

own ribs and shapes it into a woman and brings her to the man. The woman is a living creature like the

other creatures, but she's also profoundly unlike the other living creatures because she has been

taken from Adam's own body to be for him, to be by his side as his helper. So it is no wonder then

that the man breaks out into spontaneous song and poetry the moment he lays his eyes on the woman. In Genesis

2.23, he says, this at last is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was

taken out of man. At last. Here is the one whom my heart desires. At last, here is one who is like me, who fits

me, who understands me. At last, here is the one whom I can love and give myself to.

This happy union between Adam and Eve is the first marriage. And so in Genesis 2.24-25, it says,

therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall

become one flesh. And the man and his wife are both naked and were not ashamed. Why do you think it says,

therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife? Because man and woman

fulfill their creational destiny when she who was taken from the man is taken back to the man,

and they become one flesh. Together, then and only then, can they fulfill the creational mandate

to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. The Bible elsewhere describes this

marriage between a man and woman as a covenant, as it says in Malachi 2.14. Covenant is an oath-bound

relationship. It is legally binding because it's bound with an oath, but it's also deeply relational

and requires faithfulness, steadfast love. And marriage in particular is a covenant that God plays a decisive

role in. So he says in Matthew 19, after quoting Genesis 2.24, it says, therefore, a man shall leave

his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Jesus explains it

this way. He says, so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together,

let not man separate. The state gives legal recognition to marriage. The pastor officiates the

wedding. The couple takes their marriage vows, but none of them is ultimately responsible for making

a man and a woman married. That's a divine prerogative. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said in one of his wedding

sermons from prison, quote, your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something

personal. It is a status and office, just as it is the crown and not merely the will to rule that makes

the king. So it is marriage and not merely your love for each other that joins you together in the

sight of God and man. The fact that a man and woman love each other doesn't make them married. It's when God

does something authoritatively and makes them and binds them as a couple that they are married.

And marriage is such a beautiful union, right? There's really nothing quite like it in all human

relationships. It says in Genesis 2.25, and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Yeah, this was before the fall. After Adam and Eve rebelled against God, in Genesis 3.7, they recognized

their nakedness and they covered themselves with fig leaves to cover their shame. Ever since then,

every human being has always worn clothes, at least the ones that have enough sense of shame.

Have you ever noticed that no animal ever covers itself with clothes?

clothing is a human phenomenon because we uniquely feel the shame of alienation and nakedness that

come from sin. But there is one place still left in all the world where a man and a woman may be

naked and unashamed. In the act of sex. In the

security and intimacy of a marriage covenant. The man and the woman are naked, like Adam and Eve once

were. It is only in a biblical marriage where you know that your spouse is unreservedly for you and

resolutely and exclusively committed to you till death do you part. It's only in that kind of biblical

marriage where you are fully known to each other. All your foibles known. All your blemishes seen.

But still, where you have no fear at all of being repulsed or rejected.

That's the one place where you can truly enjoy sex as God intended and be naked and unashamed.

No sexual flame can ever come close to that.

I've never heard of happily married, faithful Christian couples experiencing post-sex blues

or as doctors call it, post-coital dysphoria.

Post-sex blues is what you feel after giving away what is so precious, your body, sex, at cut prices.

It's the guilt and shame and insecurity you feel after sharing something so intimate with someone

you don't fully know or trust. It's what you feel because you're still carrying the pain and shame

from having been violated sexually in the past.

Post-sex blues is a mark of sexual brokenness.

And it reminds us that there's something better, something whole, something pure.

All other forms of sex outside of biblical marriage are degrading counterfeits of that glorious union.

Now that we've discussed what marriage is and how precious it is, we can truly come to understand

what adultery is.

Adultery is forbidden not because God wants to deprive us of something good,

but because he wants to preserve for us something good.

We call the sexual act between a married person and another individual that is not his or her spouse

adultery.

Adultery is a breach of a sacred trust.

It's a grievous betrayal of a person who has bared his body and heart and soul to you.

It shows contempt for the authority of God who makes marriages.

It is selfish and short-sighted and it wrecks marriages.

It wrecks families.

It wrecks children's lives.

And in so doing, it does violence to the very building block of human society.

And because of its sexual nature, adultery is particularly grievous in that it's a sin against

one's own body.

Paul talks about how sexual sin is unique in that in 1 Corinthians 6, that it's a sin against

one's own body.

In marriage, the two become one flesh.

And he argues there that when a man has sex with a prostitute, he becomes one body with her.

God designed sex to be an act that expresses and consummates the self-giving love between a husband and wife.

That's why in 1 Corinthians 7, it commands husbands and wives to give each other their conjugal rights.

For it says, the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

The husband and wife belong to one another.

They are not their own.

For this reason, to interpose a third party to this intimate relationship is to defraud one's spouse

of what rightly belongs to him or her alone.

That's why we call it cheating.

In Proverbs 5, it warns against adultery and it says,

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.

Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets,

let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you.

Our cistern was basically a big water pit that people in ancient Israel used to store rainwater

because it's a dried, arid climate.

They don't get that much drinkable water, so they would save every drop of rain

because it was precious to them.

But a cistern was a private possession, unlike wells and springs that are out and about.

And so he's using this analogy.

Imagine your cistern being broken open for any stranger walking by to sully and to defile

and to drink with their mouths and their hands.

Have you ever had the experience of someone betraying your confidence

and sharing your secret with strangers?

Have you ever had someone take what is yours by right

and give it away to someone else, to other people?

That's what happens in adultery.

You're giving away what is not yours to give away

because you belong to your spouse.

Some of you might think, well, I've never committed adultery, so I'm in the clear.

But the seventh command goes beyond adultery.

1 Timothy 1, 8, 11, Paul describes how the law of God can still function

in convicting the lawless and the disobedient.

And he says, he lists the second half of the Ten Commandments in that list.

He says the law is laid down for those who strike their fathers and mothers.

That's the fifth commandment, right?

Honor your father and mother.

And then he says for murderers, that's the sixth commandment,

you shall not murder.

The sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality,

that's all under the seventh commandment,

you shall not commit adultery.

And then he says enslavers, liars, perjurers,

and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine.

Enslavers refers to man stealing.

That's the command.

You shall not steal.

Liars, you shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

He's going through one by one the Ten Commandments in this list.

And he puts homosexuality, practicing homosexuality,

and sexual immorality, which is a general umbrella term

for all kinds of sexual sin,

under the purview of the seventh commandment.

So that includes fornication and cohabiting,

sex before marriage.

That includes bestiality.

That includes homosexuality.

That includes incest.

That includes prostitution.

That includes sexual abuse.

You may have noticed that while some of these are sins

that are still condemned by the broader culture,

some of them are not condemned by the culture anymore.

In fact, cohabiting with someone outside of marriage

is not only widely accepted in our culture,

it is often commended as wise by the world.

Same-sex relations are not merely condoned.

They are now celebrated as courageous and authentic.

If the strong language that the Bible uses

to condemn these sins makes you squirm,

if you can't bring yourself to condemn

what God condemns in his word,

then you might have become more worldly than you realize.

David F. Wells, theologian, writes in his book,

God in the Wasteland,

worldliness is what makes sin look normal in any age,

and righteousness seem odd.

There's a pervasive worldliness among Christians nowadays

when it comes to issues surrounding sex and sexuality.

Pervasive.

We've been so desensitized to sexual sin

because we see it everywhere.

On the billboards, on the checkout line,

in the grocery store,

in movies,

in TV shows,

social media.

Even at a cafe.

But the word of God teaches us

that any physical act

that distorts or cheapens

God's design for marriage,

as laid out in Genesis 2, 24-25,

is a violation of the seventh commandment.

And I want to reiterate

that God gave us the seventh commandment

not to deprive us of something good,

but to preserve for us something good.

Our culture has widely adopted

Sigmund Freud's claim

that sexual desire and sexual fulfillment

are core aspects of what it means to be human.

In light of that perspective,

anything that limits consensual sexual expression

is seen as oppressive.

But it's a folly to view

the seventh commandment

as restrictive and oppressive.

Imagine going to a theme park

and riding a roller coaster,

which I enjoy doing.

It seems to me

that the faster it goes,

the better.

The sharper it turns,

the crazier it spins,

the more you're upside down

and turned about,

the more fun, right?

Anybody?

Anybody?

Yes.

But one key detail we must not forget

is that a roller coaster

never leaves its tracks.

In fact, if it ever gets derailed,

you might think for a fleeting moment,

oh, this is so fun,

but it's the deadliest ride

you've ever been on.

That's exactly what it's like

to transgress God's loss.

Sin, no matter how pleasant

its fleeting pleasures might seem,

ultimately leads to death.

A roller coaster is enjoyable

precisely because it never leaves its tracks.

Likewise, sex is meant to be enjoyed

within the guardrails of marriage.

Well then, some people say,

well, if I can have sex

only in the context of marriage,

then I'll just keep divorcing and remarrying.

Jesus knew some people thought that way.

So when he's explaining the seventh commandment

in Matthew 5, 29 to 30,

he says this,

everyone who divorces his wife,

except on the ground of sexual immorality,

makes her commit adultery,

and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

If you marry a divorced man or a woman,

you are committing adultery.

Not only that,

if you divorce your wife

so that she has little choice but to remarry,

remember this command was given in a day and age

when women were largely economically dependent

on their husbands,

then the husband is guilty

of making his wife commit adultery,

except when the wife has already committed adultery.

Then the husband is not guilty

of making or commit adultery.

I'm going a bit fast,

but I hope you're following.

This doesn't make any sense to us

because if you're divorced,

you're not married anymore,

and if you're not married anymore,

then you're eligible to marry, right?

That's how we think

in our society,

in our culture.

Sleeping with a married man is adultery,

but sleeping with a divorced man or a woman

is not adultery, is it?

Why is Jesus saying that it's adultery?

1 Corinthians 7, 39 explains,

a wife is bound to her husband

as long as he lives,

but if her husband dies,

she is free to be married to whom she wishes,

only in the Lord,

and vice versa.

Similarly, Romans 7, 1 to 3 says,

do you not know, brothers,

that the law is binding on a person

only as long as he lives?

For a married woman is bound

by law to her husband

while he lives,

but if her husband dies,

she is released from the law of marriage.

Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress

if she lives with another man

while her husband is alive,

but if her husband dies,

she is free from that law,

and if she marries another man,

she is not an adulteress.

When a Christian is divorced

from his or her spouse,

even for legitimate

and understandable reasons,

remarriage to another man or a woman

is not one of the options.

Because that constitutes adultery.

The two viable options for you

are then celibacy or reconciliation.

And this is because

while the marriage vows might be broken,

the marriage bond cannot be broken.

Because as we saw earlier,

God, not man,

makes marriages.

And it's binding till death do you part.

This is the consistent teaching of Jesus

throughout the Gospels

as we see in Mark 10, 11

and Luke 16, 18.

A disgruntled husband and wife

can go around

declaring themselves divorced

all they want,

but that doesn't actually make them divorced

because only a judge

can legally announce that.

Even more importantly,

no husband or wife

can actually sever the spiritual bond

that God has formed.

Only God can do that.

What therefore God has joined together,

let not man separate.

For this reason,

serial marriages,

divorce and remarriage,

fall under the prohibition

of the seventh commandment.

Now this is getting harder and harder,

isn't it?

Yeah.

Some of you might think,

well,

I've been enjoying sex within marriage

and I've never been divorced,

so I'm in the clear.

But the seventh commandment

goes beyond mere physical acts.

Jesus teaches us

the spirit of the seventh commandment

in Matthew 5, 27 and 28.

He said,

you have heard that it was said,

you shall not commit adultery,

but I say to you

that everyone who looks at a woman

with lustful intent

has already committed adultery

with her in his heart.

Even if you never have sex with someone,

you can commit adultery of the heart

by lusting after someone.

This is not the same thing

as noticing a very attractive

or provocatively dressed person.

There is a difference

between being tempted and sinning.

Hebrews 4, 15 says,

even Jesus was tempted,

but he was without sin.

He was tempted in every way

just as we are,

yet he did not sin.

So there's a difference

between temptation and sin.

Let me illustrate this

using the most famous example

of adultery in scripture.

In 2 Samuel 11, 2,

David was walking on the roof

of the king's house

and then he saw from the roof

a woman bathing.

It says the woman

was very beautiful.

Seeing Bathsheba

and noticing that she is very beautiful

are not sinful.

That's a temptation.

It's what happens next

that's sinful.

David sent and inquired

about the woman.

Now he is fantasizing.

David is inquiring,

exploring possibilities.

He is committing adultery

of the heart.

And adultery of the heart

unsurprisingly leads

to adultery of the flesh.

David sent messengers

and took her.

And she came to him

and he lay with her.

When you notice

an attractive man

or a woman

avert your eyes

and stop yourself

from fantasizing

and lusting

and lusting

after him or her

don't take

a second look.

Watching porn

is also tantamount

to adultery

of the heart.

It doesn't matter

that it's hentai

or a pornified video game.

It has the same

adulterating effect

on your heart

and the same

deadly consequences

in your life.

It draws your heart

away from your spouse

and away from God

if you're single.

Single or married.

According to a site

that measures

website metrics,

three of the top 15

most trafficked websites

in the world

are porn sites.

According to the data

that Pornhub releases

every year,

in 2019

there were over

42 billion visits

to Pornhub,

an average

of 115 million

visits per day.

That's more visits

than Netflix

or Amazon.

That's over a third

of the entire

U.S. population.

That many people

from all over the world

are watching porn

every single day.

One sociologist

estimates that porn

is a $97 billion

industry globally.

According to

Covenant Eyes

which is a leading

accountability software

that records

your interactivity

and blocks porn

on your web browsers,

they say one in five

mobile searches

are for pornography.

One in five.

28,258 users

are watching porn

this very second.

51% of male students

and 32% of female students

first viewed porn

before their teenage years.

It's a myth

that porn and masturbation

are only an issue

among men.

88% of scenes

in porn films

contain acts

of physical aggression.

If you look at any porn

that means the likelihood

of you watching porn

that involves

physical aggression

is very, very high.

68% of divorce cases

involved one party

meeting a new lover

over the internet.

56% of divorce cases

involved one party

having

an obsessive interest

in pornographic websites.

The situation is bleak

in the church too.

One in five

youth pastors,

one in seven

senior pastors

use porn

on a regular basis

and are currently

struggling.

that's more than 50,000

U.S. church leaders.

64% of Christian men

and 15% of Christian women

say they watch porn

at least once a month.

If that statistic holds

in our church,

that means more than 25 men

here right now

and more than six women

here right now

look at porn

every month.

I don't say this

to shame you

but I want to remind you

that you're not alone

in this fight.

1 Corinthians 10, 13

reminds us

no temptation

has overtaken you

that is not common

to man.

God is faithful

and he will not

let you be tempted

beyond your ability

but with the temptation

he will also provide

a way of escape

that you may be able

to endure it.

This is such a wonderful

reminder to all

who struggle

with sexual temptation.

All your temptations

and sin struggles

are common.

No matter how kinky

or deviant

it might seem to you

it's common.

So don't believe

the enemy's lie

that says

you're the only one

who struggles

with this sin

or that sin

because that's

his ruse

to keep you

isolated in shame

so that you can

never come out

into the light

to heal and grow.

And don't believe

the enemy's lie

that you can never

overcome this sin

that your sexual drive

is too strong

that this is an

inevitable human struggle.

That's how the enemy

tries to make you

stop fighting.

But the word of God

tells us that you are

never tempted

beyond your ability.

Never.

With every temptation

God provides

a way of escape.

There is a way

of escape

from sexual addiction

and there are men

and women

in this room

right now

that can attest

to God's deliverance.

I'm one of them.

When I was 13 years old

one of my friends

thought he would

do me a favor

and introduce me

to porn.

It was the greatest

disservice

that a friend

has ever

done to me.

I was hooked

immediately

and struggled

with sexual addiction

for a little over

a decade.

It felt at times

like a

hopeless struggle

but I am thankful

to report

that it has been

almost the same

number of years now

that I've been free

from sexual addiction.

God's grace.

I know

without a shadow

of doubt

that God

can do

the same

for you.

Here's some things

that God's taught me

about overcoming

sexual sin

from scripture

that have been

confirmed

my experience

over and over

again

and even

if this is

not one

of your

temptations

that you

regularly

deal with

I think

this will

be relevant

for you

because most

of it

is applicable

to fighting

any sin.

First

number one

cut off

temptations.

After teaching

us that lusting

after someone

is tantamount

to adultery

of the heart

Jesus continues

in Matthew 5

if your right eye

causes you to sin

gouge it out

and throw it away

for it is better

that you lose

one of your members

than your whole body

to be thrown

into hell

and if your right

hand causes you

to sin

cut it off

and throw it away

for it is better

for you to lose

one part of your body

than for you

to go into hell.

Jesus is not telling

us to mutilate

our flesh

literally

but he's using

figurative speech

to teach us

to take decisive

and radical action

to remove

things that cause

us to commit

adultery

in the heart.

Literally

gouging out your eye

will not keep you

from lusting.

Let me give you

one example

the famous

20th century

soul musician

Ray Charles.

He was blind

but he openly

admitted his obsession

with women.

He was married

and divorced

twice

had many many

affairs

and fathered

a total of

12 children

with 10 different

women.

He was blind.

But what are

the sources

of temptation

in your life

that you can

get rid of?

If your smartphone

causes you to sin

get a dumb phone

get rid of your

internet

disconnect it.

People live

without internet

for thousands

of years

you can do it.

And if you really

need it

go to a public

library

or go to a school.

Go to a school.

Go to a school.

If your boyfriend

or girlfriend

is causing you

to sin

break up

no matter

how dear

that relationship

is to you.

If there's

a flirty

co-worker

that is tempting

you

ask to be

moved to

a different

department

or team

or just quit

and get a

different job

well but that's

really inconvenient

Sean

of course

it's inconvenient

you think

getting rid

of a limb

is convenient

that's exactly

the point

that Jesus

is making

stop sheepishly

apologizing

to your

accountability

partners

every single

week

while taking

no decisive

action

do something

about it

if there's

cancer

in your

bone

if you're

affected

with

gangrene

or you

have a

serious

infection

that's

not

responding

to

antibiotics

we

would

not

hesitate

to get

our

limbs

amputated

so that

we can

survive

but when

eternal

life

is at

stake

when we

refuse

to remove

the things

that cause

us to

sin

in the

same way

that it

happens

with all

kinds

of

addiction

sexual

addiction

will

increase

your

body's

tolerance

for

sexual

sin

you'll

have

to

descend

lower

and

lower

into

more

and more

so

that

sins

and you'll

have

to do

it

more

and

more

frequently

to get

the same

level

of high

it will

ultimately

lead you

to ruin

and death

and God's

word is

clear

1st

Corinthians

6

9

to 10

Ephesians

5

5

everyone

who is

sexually

immoral

or impure

or who

is

covetous

has

no

inheritance

in the

kingdom

of

Christ

and

God

if you

have

come to

terms

with your

sexual

immorality

if you

have

reached

a

cease

fire

if

you

stop

fighting

your

sin

killing

your

sin

if

you're

no

longer

repenting

of your

sins

turning

away

from

your

sins

then you

will

not

inherit

the

kingdom

of

God

put

to

death

therefore

what is

earthly

in

you

sexual

immorality

impurity

passion

evil

desire

and

covetousness

which

is

idolatry

says

Colossians

3

5

cut

it

off

put

it

to

death

that's

violent

language

be

violent

with

your

sexual

sin

this

is

a

life

or

death

situation

17th

century

English

theologian

John

Owen

famously

said

be

killing

sin

or

sin

will

be

killing

you

no

I'm

not

preaching

works

righteousness

this

is

not

legalism

this

is

the

word

of

God

the

very

definition

of a

Christian

is

someone

who

turns

from

sin

and

turns

toward

Christ

in

faith

if

you're

not

turning

away

from

your

sins

if

you're

not

repenting

you're

not

a

follower

of

Christ

repentance

is

not

just

regretting

sin

it's

renouncing

sin

it's

not

just

it's

not

about

saying

sorry

for

sin

it's

about

saying

no

to

sin

I'm

not

saying

that

you

can't

struggle

there

will

be

a

struggle

because

we

have

a

real

enemy

the

world

the

flesh

and

the

devil

they're

real

and

they

oppose

us

and

they

tempt

us

but

you

must

never

come

to

terms

with

sexual

immorality

that's

the

first

tip

number

two

cognize

or be

conscious

of

God's

presence

I

know

cognize

is

an

odd

word

but

I

wanted

to

make

everything

start

with

C

so

you

guys

could

remember

it

better

and

I

didn't

have

time

to

come

up

with

anything

better

cognize

or

be

conscious

of

God's

presence

Proverbs

5

20

to

21

says

why

should

you

be

intoxicated

my

son

with

a

forbidden

woman

and

embrace

the

bosom

of

an

adulteress

for

a

man's

ways

are

before

the

eyes

of

the

Lord

and

he

ponders

all

his

paths

why

do

you

use

incognito

mode

when

watching

porn

why

do

you

erase

your

search

history

why

are

you

looking

over

your

shoulder

when

you

are

going

into

that

strip

club

because

you

want

to

hide

your

sin

but

you

cannot

hide

your

sin

every

single

one

of

your

thoughts

and

deeds

are

nakedly

exposed

before

the

all

seeing

eyes

of

God

even

darkness

is as

light

with

God

nothing

obscures

his

vision

remember

when

Peter

insisted

he

wasn't

going

to

deny

Jesus

and

then

he

ends

up

denying

Jesus

three

times

and

the

third

time

while

he's

in

the

middle

of

denying

Jesus

he

says

in

Luke

that

the

Lord

turned

and

looked

at

Peter

and

Peter

went

out

and

wept

bitterly

when

your

eyes

and

mind

start

to

wander

off

when

your

searches

on

the

browser

start

to

wander

off

remember

that

Jesus

is

looking

at

you

with

the

same

knowing

and

loving

eyes

with

which

he

looked

at

Peter

third

confess

your

sins

to

your

brothers

and

sisters

in

Christ

obviously

use

discretion

it

would

be

inappropriate

to

share

certain

details

with

a

member

of

the

opposite

sex

but

confess

specifically

I would

like to

see

every

man

and

woman

in

our

church

who

struggles

with

sexual

sin

confess

it

to

a

brother

or

sister

in

their

community

groups

this

week

do

it

this

week

confess

it

why

James

5

16

exhorts

us

therefore

confess

your

sins

to

one

another

and

pray

for

one

another

that

you

may

be

healed

Proverbs

28

13

says

whoever

conceals

their

sins

does

not

prosper

but

the

one

who

confesses

and

renounces

them

finds

mercy

your

instinct

will be

to preserve

the status quo

your reputation

and your

job

and to

keep

things

hidden

but

don't

listen

to

your

self

preservationist

instinct

because

it's

actually

self

destructive

Dietrich

Bonhoeffer

writes

in his

book

Life

Together

sin

wants

to be

alone

with

people

it

takes

them

away

from

the

community

the

more

lonely

people

become

the

more

destructive

the

power

of

sin

over

them

sin

wants

to

remain

unknown

it

shuns

the

light

in

the

darkness

of

what

is

left

unsaid

sin

poisons

the

whole

being

of

a

person

in

confession

the

light

of the

gospel

breaks

into

the

darkness

and

closed

isolation

of

the

heart

sin

must

be

brought

into

the

light

since

the

confession

of

sin

is

made

in

the

presence

of

another

Christian

the

last

stronghold

of

self

justification

is

abandoned

the

sinner

surrenders

giving

up

all

evil

giving

the

sinner's

heart

to

God

and

finding

the

forgiveness

of

all

one

sin

in

the

community

of

Jesus

Christ

and

other

Christians

sin

that

has

been

spoken

and

confessed

has

lost

in

the

presence

of

another

believer

is

the

most

profound

kind

of

humiliation

it

hurts

makes

one

feel

small

it

deals

a

terrible

blow

to

one's

pride

and

that's

precisely

why

it

works

and

if

you're

still

struggling

as

you're

confessing

confess

it

to

a

wider

group

of

people

fourth

control

your

body

first

Thessalonians

4

3

to

5

for

this

is

the

will

of

God

your

sanctification

that

you

abstain

from

sexual

immorality

that

each

one

of

you

know

how

to

control

his

own

body

in

holiness

and

honor

and

not

in

the

passion

of

lust

like

the

Gentiles

who

do

not

know

God

self

control

is

about

humbly

accepting

limits

accepting

limits

that

God

has

set

around

us

instead

of

pushing

against

those

boundaries

so

it

takes

humility

and

the

key

to

self

control

is

keeping

the

prize

in

view

what

you're

going

to

be

rewarded

with

why

you're

doing

it

in

the

first

place

first

Corinthians

9

24

do

you

not

know

that

it

is

in

a

race

all

the

runners

run

but

only

one

receives

the

prize

so

run

that

you

may

obtain

it

every

athlete

exercises

self

control

in

all

things

they

do

it

to

receive

a

perishable

wreath

but

we

the

imperishable

so

I

do

not

run

aimlessly

I

do

not

box

as

one

beating

the

air

but

I

discipline

my

body

and

keep

it

under

control

lest

after

preaching

to

others

I

myself

should

be

disqualified

this

is

the

key

to

self

control

it's

not

I've

got

to

be

more

disciplined

I

gotta

do

more

I

gotta

try

harder

that's

not

gonna