A Deeper Look Into Divorce & Remarriage | Mark 10:1-12 | Pastor Daniel Batarseh (Gospel of Mark Bible Study Series)

Here we find ourselves again in the gospel of Mark, where Jesus

is somewhere and you have a crowd flocking toward him.

This has become common now. Wherever Jesus goes, it doesn't

take very much time for people to hear about it and to make an

event out of it. This Nazarene is here that the

rabbi from Nazareth has arrived in our neighborhood.

We must see him, We must receive something from him.

And we have read enough of the Bible to know that crowds were

always indicative of the right hearts.

Many people in these crowds did not want the truth Jesus

offered, did not want to submit to the radical call of

discipleship. They wanted immediate relief.

They wanted benefit. They wanted miracles.

And we know that. How much more?

The Son of God Even now He knew what was in man's heart and

that's why he didn't trust them. And we have studied Mark enough

to know that these people were stubborn.

They were majority unbelieving and unwilling to submit again to

the invitation of believing on the Son of God.

But notice this again. Look at verse one, look at the

last sentence. And again, as was his custom, he

taught them despite all of that, despite all of that, the mixed

motives, the lack of desired response.

Jesus still, as his custom, taught them.

I would love to use this verse, among many other verses, if I

was preaching to a room filled with pastors or ministry

leaders. But all of us here serve in some

capacity. All of us here are transmitters

of truth, whether that be to our children, our spouses, our

friends, our coworkers. So this applies.

Still, do you notice the model of Jesus as a minister, The

absolute patience of the master? How compassionate.

How compassionate. Knowing, knowing that the

majority are not there for the right reasons.

He still teaches them. He still dispenses his energy

and time and efforts to give them the truth.

He still goes. Above and beyond to help them,

and to provide still a way into the truth.

I read that and I thought to myself, Lord, help me not lose

patience. Help me believe that you are

after faithfulness more than success, at least humanly

speaking, success. Help me, Help me just please you

and honor you with what you've given me as a gift, what you've

given me as opportunities, and to just do it unto you.

Believe. If you're serving the Lord in

any capacity, and you're frustrated because you're not

seeing what you want to see, or because people are not

responding the way you wanted to respond.

Look to Jesus. Look how faithful He is.

Look how consistent He is. Look how stable He is.

Do not be flimsy in your faithfulness.

Don't be tossed to and fro. Don't become absent or less

committed to something just because you had a timeline of

how things should go and they're not going the way you thought

they should go. That's not the custom of Christ,

and you are a follower of Christ.

So here's this crowd, massive crowd.

And Jesus, as was his custom, teaches them.

But this was an opportunity for another group of people, and not

for a positive thing who comes out of the woodwork?

The Pharisees they just spawned on site.

And they saw this crowd and they saw a different opportunity.

And this was their opportunity, It's become their custom to try

to discredit the ministry of Jesus, to try to diminish his

popularity and wound his name, his message, his ministry.

And up to this point, they've tried different things.

One of their go to things was to slander Jesus.

And to try to claim that his miracles were authorized by

demonic powers and that didn't work.

And so they try to different things, like ask Jesus to do a

miracle on demand. Prove yourself do something

here, right here, right now. And Jesus doesn't budget.

He doesn't give in to their desires.

And so now they're going to resort to something else, and

they're going to use it more than once.

Now they're going to weaponize controversial doctrines.

And beliefs to put Jesus in a difficult position.

You can just imagine the calculation, right?

Because this was not spontaneous, there was thought

behind this question that these Pharisees asked.

How can we trap Jesus? How can we put him in a corner

that no matter what answer he gives, he's going to make some

group of people very upset with what he says.

And at this juncture, at this point, the topic of choice is

divorce. Divorce.

That should do the job, because a lot of people have a lot of

opinions about divorce, not just in the world, even in the

Church. And you have to admit that this

is quite clever. This is quite clever, not just

because of the subject matter that they chose, but because of

the timing of things. Do you remember what was on

recent headlines in Israel? Can I remind you?

Well, you're in Mark chapter 10. Go to Mark chapter 6.

Mark 10 · chapter mention Mark 6 · chapter mention

Read here with me in verse 17 of Mark chapter 6, and you'll see

Mark 6 · chapter mention

another layer of the conniving scheme of this pursuit from the

Pharisees. Mark 617.

For it was Herod who had sent and seized John, and bound him

in prison, for the sake of Herodias, the his brother

Philip's wife, because he had married her.

For John had been saying to Herod, it is not lawful for you

to have your brother's wife. What happened to John the

Baptist for saying that he lost his head?

And this was in the airwaves, right, The scandal of Herod and

marrying his brother's wife. And the Pharisees understood

that John Baptist got himself in trouble for speaking out against

this. And so you can see where they're

going with this, right? No matter what, surely what's

going to come out of this to our benefit is that when Jesus

answers our question about divorce, this crowd is going to

split in half. And maybe maybe Pharisee #2,

Pharisee #3. Come here.

Maybe even if Jesus speaks out on this, word will get out.

It'll get to Herod, and he'll share John Baptist's fate, if

John the Baptist paid a high price for speaking about the

sanctity of marriage. Oh, what do you think might

happen to Jesus? We know he's an uncompromising

truth preacher. We know that he does not pull

any punches. We know that he'll say it as it

is, and that will be to his own demise.

And you can just imagine them twiddling their fingers.

They don't know who they're up against.

And I think it's safe to say today that divorce is still a

sensitive subject. It's sensitive for many reasons

because there's so much emotion attached to it.

There's history attached to it, There's personal experience

attached to it. And so some preachers today just

avoid the subject altogether. Why?

Because they think like the Pharisees, if I speak on this

issue, people will be upset about it.

And so they rather hold on to their reputation than honor the

truth. The truth, may I remind you,

that no matter how hard it is, will set you free.

It will set you free. And the preacher's job is to be

caught up and preoccupied with the pleasure of his Lord.

And not to be concerned about how the truth will be received,

though it must be faithfully, lovingly, carefully, and wisely

delivered. And so I hope to walk in the

footsteps of my Lord. We see Jesus being concerned

about what God's word has to say.

Notice how Jesus answers after the Pharisees in verse two.

Ask them if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife.

He answered them in verse three. What did Moses command you?

You know why that's important? Because there are many schools

of thought in Jesus time that had very strong and opposing

opinions about divorce. They were like today.

You had conservative interpretations.

And you had very loose and liberal interpretations about

divorce. And if you want to look, look

more into this in your own time, look up the schools of thought

from Rabbi Shami and Rabbi Hilal Shami and Hilal, who are

prominent voices that spoke a lot about this issue of

marriage, divorce and remarriage.

So that was prominent, that was there, that was prevalent.

Everybody knew that, and many people held to either one and

maybe even some strange place in between.

But Jesus doesn't appeal to an authoritative figure.

Jesus doesn't go to a camp. Jesus cuts through all of that.

And he asked, what did God say? What did God say?

What did Moses command? You and I love the way Jesus

phrases that. He didn't say, what did Moses

write? He didn't say, what did Moses

command? He said, what did Moses command

you? Do you know why that's

significant? I'll tell you why that's

significant. Because Moses.

Depend the law well over 1000 years before Jesus and this

generation. And yet the way Jesus frames and

relates to the scriptures is that it is binding on all time

for all people across all generations.

It applies. God's word is not shifting with

the culture. It's not pliable.

It's not subject to change. And not only is it binding for

all time, right? Not only is it relevant for all

generations, it's supposed to be embraced personally.

What did Moses command you? You.

And this is clear elsewhere. Let me show you this.

This is fascinating. This is this will hopefully

rejuvenate your love and appreciation for the word of

God. Go to Matthew, chapter 22.

Matthew 22 · chapter mention

This is Jesus dealing not with the Pharisees, with the

Sadducees. And the Sadducees are also

trying to do the same thing as a Pharisee.

They want to try to trap Jesus doctrinally.

And so they bring up this idea of the resurrection.

And what do you have when you have a woman who has several

husbands because each of them keep dying?

Whose husband will will be hers and the resurrection?

And Jesus answers something in Matthew 2231 after he answers

that dealing with the fact that there's no marriage in heaven.

He now strikes at the core of their belief system.

The Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection.

They didn't believe in life after after death.

So look what the Lord says. And As for the resurrection of

the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God?

I am the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of

Jacob. He is not God of the dead, but

of the living powerful. Powerful for many reasons.

One of the reasons why this is powerful is because Jesus, out

of all the texts in the Old Testament to prove the

resurrection, goes to the book of Exodus.

He could have gone to Isaiah. He could have gone to Daniel.

Very strong and obvious claims about the resurrection.

But he goes to Exodus. You know why?

Because the Sadducees only believed in the first five books

of the Bible, so he met them at their level.

Even what you claim to be pure Scripture, the resurrection is

there. I mean, you're dealing with the

God who authored this book. But more than that, read your

Bibles slowly and carefully and with reverence.

Let's read again verse 31 and ask for the resurrection of the

dead. Have you not read what was said

to you by God? You know why?

That's fascinating. He quotes Exodus 36.

When? He says I am the God of Abraham,

the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.

God said that to Moses. Moses recorded a conversation

that he had with the Lord, and yet Jesus says here that

although this was directly said to Moses, he's actually saying

it to you. Even in the accounts of

Scripture that are narrative, even in the accounts of

Scripture that are not directly instructive, you know what Jesus

saying here. God wants you to come to His

Word and embrace it and examine it as though He is saying

something to you. He's speaking to you through His

Word, and that should excite you about the Word of God.

Even in ancient recorded conversations that don't

immediately relate to you, that you might say, OK, I'm just

looking at this from a window with a screen separating me.

You are to believe that God intended to reveal something to

you. In every corner of the word of

God, every portion, every line, the Lord has something to say to

you and to me, he says, What did God say to you?

Do you remember what God said to you?

It's a conversation between God and Moses.

Yeah, but God wants to speak to you through that.

There are principles, there are truths that are transcendent and

apply today for you in your walk with Christ.

Now, that's why we study Bible study in the Old Testament every

single Friday. Why?

Because we believe God has something to say to the

Christian. Now in Exodus, in numbers, in

Leviticus, in Isaiah and Micah, God wants to speak.

And when you read what God has to say, that's him speaking, by

the way. In this moment, the transmission

of the Word, the Word being declared, the world being

expounded. This is God's primary means of

speaking. Are you listening?

Are you in awe of that? That this is how he is

prescribed to communicate with humanity through His word and

the Lord. Jesus provides a wonderful

example of how this works when you read something like Exodus

36 and you look at God speaking to Moses.

You are to say, OK, God, what does it have to say about me?

What are you trying to reveal about yourself to me here?

Here's how Jesus interprets it. When God said that to Moses, I'm

to interpret that today in 2023, God is the God of the living,

not of the dead. So yeah, you can open this word

and say with total confidence and license, Lord, you have

something to say to me, and that's from one verse in the Old

Testament. How much does God have to say

with that giant library? How much does God have to reveal

to you? How much are you missing out on?

Because perhaps you don't see the relevance of some portions

of God's word. It only gets better.

You're in Matthew 22. Look at Matthew 19 for a second.

This is the parallel count to Mark chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

But there's another insight even in Jesus teaching on divorce

concerning the authority and the instrument of God's word.

Look at Matthew 19 verse four, he answered.

Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning

made them male and female? Question Where is that from?

What book is that from? You can answer it, I'm not

afraid. Genesis.

Wow, all of you know it. Wonderful verse 5 and said.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold

fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Notice the 1st 2 words of verse five.

What are those words? And said, he answered, Let me

read this again. Have you not read that he who

created them from the beginning made them male and female?

Who is he talking about? He God.

And then he's continuing in verse 5, the same God who

created male and female. He said something.

He said therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother

and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

We say, OK, that's wonderful, we know that that's what God said.

But it becomes more interesting when you actually look at the

text itself where Jesus cites from.

So look at Genesis 2, the first book of the Bible, and I want

you to see this with your own eyes in verse 24 of chapter 2.

So when Jesus said in verse five of Matthew 19 and said, it means

that he's quoting. What?

Apparently God said God had said this at some point.

But when you look at Genesis 224, where this quote comes

from, you'll notice something interesting.

Adam spoke in verse 23. And then there's a couple of

verses left to this chapter, and this is the one Jesus is

alluding to. Therefore, a man shall leave his

father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall

become one flesh. You know what's interesting

about that verse? What is it?

God didn't say it directly, did it?

Is it a direct quote from God? No, he didn't.

Some would say that it's actually Adam.

Continuing his thought from verse 23.

Most people say this is Moses narrating what just took place

between Adam and Eve, the view to which I hold.

So this is Moses writing and providing commentary and insight

about the institution of marriage being initiated.

And yet Jesus says in Matthew 19, verse five, God said as

though God spoke this, but He didn't speak it.

When you go to the original account, what do we make of

this? Well, even though God uses human

agency and human authorship, he's the one who's ultimately

speaking. That's what that means, so.

Not only do I look at something like Exodus 36, where I see God

speaking to Moses and believe that there's something there for

me, I could look at every portion of Scripture, whether

it's him saying something directly or narrator or anything

else that deals with instruction or comments concerning the word

of God, and believe that God is speaking even there God is

speaking, so all of God's Word is God's voice.

All of God's Word is God's speech.

All of God's word reveals God's mind.

So even in a text like this, I am to believe God said it, God

said it. And we have to remind ourselves

of that because some people make the innocent mistake of over

emphasizing the human element to the Bible.

Paul wrote this epistle, he wrote it at this time and he

probably wrote it because of this component and this aspect

or this kind of situation. He knew this person.

He knew that church and and that's good, that's important.

But do not forget who's the ultimate speaker.

It's God, he said. He spoke, whether that be

Genesis 224, First Thessalonians 5.

God is speaking every single time.

So Jesus here is going back to the authority of the Word of

God. What did Moses command you then

in verse four of Mark 10? Look what he says as a response

to Jesus question. They said Moses.

Allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to

send her away. So when Jesus said what did

Moses command you based on the context, you know what Jesus had

in mind. Genesis, Genesis chapter one,

Genesis chapter 2. What the Pharisees had in mind

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

was a law in Deuteronomy chapter 24, and they summarize it the

Deuteronomy 24 · chapter mention

1st 4 verses and based on what? Moses gives us instructions

there. They believed that this was a

loophole into sanctioning divorce and allowing for

divorce, or even worse, God commanding divorce.

And look how Jesus answered. We're going to go to that text

in a moment and verse 5, Jesus gives a quick explanation to the

response. And Jesus said to them because

of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.

This is not a part of God's desire.

This is not God's will. What you read there in those

first four verses, in fact, you got to read it deeper to see

what God's heart really is. There is a command in those

first four verses, but not a command that people tend to

think is about. Can I show that to you?

Deuteronomy 24. Look at the 1st 4 verses.

With me This is what the Pharisees had in mind.

Deuteronomy 24 verse one reads when a man takes a wife and

marries her. If then she finds no favour in

his eyes because he has found some indecency in her indecency.

It seems vague, seems ambiguous. It's.

Root meaning means shameful. Anything that is shameful to do.

Some would say that it's strictly about adultery.

But the problem with that is that there was a law about

adultery. What was it?

And the old covenant, the old law.

If you committed adultery, you were stoned to death.

Some indecency in her and he writes her certificate of

divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house

and she departs out of his house.

And if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the

latter man hates her and writes her certificate of divorce and

puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house.

Or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife?

Then her former husband who sent her away, may not take her again

to be his wife after she has been defiled, For that is an

abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin upon the

land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.

So the Pharisees took this and they said, well, hey, Jesus,

didn't Moses make a way for us to divorce?

And Jesus says there is a command in Deuteronomy 24, one

to four. But by speaking about the

hardness of heart, he already qualifies that what Moses is

speaking about here is not God's heart.

Notice the language in verse one when a man takes a wife and

marries her, if then she finds no favor, right?

He writes her certificate of divorce.

So in some sense, what we're seeing here is that there is, as

an act of mercy, God providing a way to assist the victims of

this horrific development known as divorce.

And the primary person that he has in mind is the woman, the

woman who would be left very vulnerable and susceptible to

much harm and danger. This certificate of divorce, to

an extent, would protect her reputation, and it would also

give her some kind of security in terms of potential events of

future remarriage with someone else.

But that's not even really the emphasis of these passages.

If there's any command of those 4 verses, it's the last verse.

Look again at verse four. Here's the clearest expression

of a command. Then her former husband who sent

her away, may not take her again to be his wife.

That's the command more than anything else, Knowing the

inevitable darkness that human sinfulness will lead to.

God in His mercy provides some instructions to limit and to

provide obstacles for this thing called divorce to go and run

rampant. So these people here clearly are

finding the freedom to divorce with with just the cause of

indecency. And what the Lord is saying is

that if you send somebody away, know this.

If she remarries, you can never have her back.

That's the command more than anything else.

What the Lord is saying, even here in Deuteronomy, is that

this is meant to discourage divorce.

This is meant to actually prohibit it and limit it and not

make allowance for it. He is trying to let them know

this decision that you make will affect you for the rest of your

life, not just the person that you're sending away.

Because the temptation was to play a game with marriage and to

swap wives, so if you didn't like your wife anymore, you lost

attraction to her or whatever the case may be.

She's irritating. You can get rid of her and you

can try another one. And if you didn't like her,

maybe you can get the one that you liked before and you realize

what you missed out on. And God gives this command to

say you can't do that because the hardness of heart, you will

send people away. That's not my desire.

That's not my original intent for marriage.

That's not even part of the program at all in my mind.

But if you do know this, you're making a decision.

That's irreversible. If she remarries, you know what

that's supposed to cause a man to do?

Think very carefully if he really wants to do that.

Do I really want to make this decision?

Remove that and you have people who will again, trade wives,

swap, and treat marriage as though it is some cheap thing.

And Jesus here makes it very very clear that.

God's heart is not for this at all.

There is allowance for it. There is permission for it, not

that it was sanctioned by God. If anything, those instructions

surrounding divorce is to discourage people from even

considering it from the beginning.

And Jesus doesn't end his answer there, does he?

For the rest of this passage he will go on to explain God's true

heart for this holy union known as marriage.

And I want to take the rest of this time to speak about through

these verses. Why it is that God hates

divorce? Because Malachi says he hates

divorce. Why is it unlawful?

Why is it wrong? Let's look at point number one,

verse 5. And Jesus said to them, because

of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.

Divorce is the fruit of hard hearts.

That's where it's stemming from. That's the root.

It's the fruit. It's the results, the outcome of

a hardened heart, one who has become insensitive.

What Jesus again calls hardness of heart and sensitive to what

exactly? Primarily the will of God, The

entertainment and the execution of divorce is proof that someone

has no longer become responsive to God's desire for their lives.

Someone who pursues God's pleasure and delight will not at

the same time tolerate a decision or a direction that he

hates. And in this case, what he hates

is divorce. So divorce is the fruit of a

heart that's become a stone. It's unfeeling.

It's not concern anymore about God's lordship, Jesus's

lordship, the Bible's authority in determining what they do.

Even in the case of marriage, they've lost all sense of that.

And I'm aware that there is an exception clause that Jesus

makes that we'll get to in a moment.

But that's not what the Lord is speaking about here, because

this hardness of heart is not just vertical, it's also

horizontal. That heart is also unconcerned

about the effect that such a decision will have on the other

spouse and on the children that are involved, the lifelong

consequences that will come from a decision of severing something

that was meant to last for a lifetime.

What? Jesus is speaking about here.

The hardness of heart is him. Explain that divorce usually is

like many other sins. A sin that focuses on self.

It's about my convenience. It's about my feelings.

This is irritating me. It's really the fruit of

unforgiveness and unwillingness to work very hard to redeem

something that's been authored and sanctioned by God, even at

the expense of other people being damaged.

So this is really the fruit of a hard heart.

It doesn't come from God's heart.

But secondly we see here in verse 6 to 8.

But from the beginning of creation God made the male and

female. Therefore man shall leave his

father and mother, and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall

become one. Flesh.

So they are no longer 2, but one flesh.

Why is divorce wrong? Why is it unlawful?

Why does God hate it? Because it goes against his

original design for marriage. Notice that Jesus appeals to

creation. He goes all the way back to the

garden. And in this conversation about

divorce, Jesus speaks now in an indirect way, about divorce, but

through the explanation of the holiness and the beauty of

marriage. You know why?

Because the fruit that leads to divorce is often the outcome of

those who don't see marriage the way God does.

Why do people divorce? Because they don't view marriage

the way the creator of marriage sees it.

And so Jesus quotes Genesis 127. As a pattern for us to apply as

a principle for us to apply in this conversation.

Right. He made the male and female as

it was then. So it is today.

What was it then? One man, one woman brought

together for life. All right, so people say Jesus

didn't speak about homosexuality, didn't speak

about polygamy. He did.

He did. Right here.

One man, one woman for life. But he's teaching about divorce

here. And so, in the same way, think

about it in the same way that he gives a snapshot of the garden

where you had one man, one woman in that paradise, was there any

alternatives there for Adam and Eve?

Was there any other options? No, there wasn't.

Likewise, when God brings you together with someone else,

there are no other options. So you know what you said, my

brother at that altar? You know what you said, my

sister on that altar. My commitment to you, my

faithfulness to you, my affections for you, my duty to

you, my body for you, above all other human relationships, until

death does us apart. Until death determines that this

covenant is nullified. That's what he's saying here.

That's what it's supposed to be. Male and female, together

forever. No other alternatives.

No other options. You and that love of your youth.

You and that person that you believe God brought you together

to begin with. And Jesus goes on to say

something so amazing about marriage.

It creates a bond between people unlike any other human

relationship, closer than a bond that a mother has with her

child. Closer than that, mothers, Can

you imagine the love that you feel, the sacrificial ambition

that you have for that baby of yours, fathers?

You might feel the same thing for your son or daughter.

And what Jesus saying here is that when God brings together a

man and a woman, that bond is closer than that of a parent and

their baby. And what's so amazing is that.

When one chooses to be wedded to another, notice the language

verse 7. Therefore, a man shall leave his

father and mother and hold fast to his wife.

This union calls for a separation from dependency and

priorities from all other relationships, including that of

your mom and dad. Emotionally, physically, you are

withdrawing yourself from every other relationship and you are

clinging to that person out of the billions in this world.

You know what's so sad today? That what we're seeing more and

more. Happening is that there are

people abandoning the one union that was never meant to be

forsaken. The one relationship that you

are not meant to abandon is what people are abandoning today,

sometimes because of fathers and mothers.

May I had, you know, I was reading something years ago in

Exodus, years ago in Exodus. It's a simple observation, but

it warmed my heart and it came to mind when I was preparing for

this. I want you to see in Exodus 18,

it deals with Moses, father-in-law and hopefully this

will bless you as much as it blessed me.

Go to Exodus 18, verse two. At some point between Moses

leaving the wilderness to go and initiate his mission to deliver

the people out of Egypt, there was some problems between him

and his wife. You get it.

You get that impression early on in his ministry.

And we're told here, according to Exodus 18, that at some point

Moses sent back his wife and his two boys with her.

You got to go. All right.

I got a lot to do here. I'm, I'm, I'm dealing with 2

million people. And so you got to go.

And so there's something that happened there, and for some.

Reason. The Holy Spirit saw it necessary

for us to read about the reconciliation.

I'm not talking about divorce. There's just a problem.

Like there are many problems in marriages today and the one who

is initiating this is Moses father-in-law.

So look at this in verse two of Exodus 18.

Now Jethro Moses father-in-law had taken Zipporah Moses his

wife after he sent her home. Look at verse 5.

Jethro Moses father-in-law came with his sons and his wife to

Moses in the wilderness where he was encamped at the mountain of

God and when he sent word to Moses.

I, your father-in-law Jethro, am coming to.

You with your wife with her, two sons with her.

Did you notice it? Maybe not verse 2, verse 5,

Verse 6. How is Zipporah referenced

Moses's wife, even himself. When he speaks and sends word to

Moses, he says I am coming to you.

He didn't say with my daughter. Did he say with my daughter his

daughter? But he didn't say with my

daughter. He says with your wife, she

belongs to you. She doesn't belong to me.

She's your wife. She belongs to you.

You are her head. So even this gentile, even this

Pagan, understood the principle of Genesis, leaving father,

mother clinging to your spouse. And I saw that.

So that's amazing. Moses's wife.

Not my daughter, not my baby girl, not my Princess.

She's yours. And I've come to give you what

belongs to you. So you guys got to figure this

out. I like Jethro for many reasons,

including this one. When you go back to Mark 10/7,

the word Jesus used when he says that one will leave his father,

mother and hold fast. If you have a older translation,

you'll have the word cling or cleave.

You know what that translates? Literally in the Greek you ready

for this glue upon? You'll leave Mommy and Daddy and

you're going to glue to another person.

Now I have a feeling Jesus is talking about strong glue.

Very strong. And he's like really tight glue,

right? Some of you contractors know

really tough glue that can stick material together.

And I've seen material come together with glue, and for

whatever reason if you try to separate those materials, it's

not pretty. You know what the result of it

is? Often times there's some kind of

destruction that happens, not just destruction.

It's not a beautiful picture. Is there any different with

divorce? Is it ever clean?

Something rips, some pieces are shredded.

And it's not just between two people.

Many people feel the effects of it and look at this language

again, this metaphor. The two shall become one flesh.

That's true and physical to intimacy.

There's there's again this unique union and fusion that

you're supposed to not have with anybody else.

But if you take that metaphor further, in light of divorce, if

I become one flesh with someone, if now we're the two become one

thing, what happens in separation, amputation,

amputation. You're cutting off something of

you. This is not just a legal

contract. There's something significant

that takes place in marriage, and there's something that's

significant that takes place in divorce.

There's something that's amputated, there's something

that's separated, there's something that's damaged and

what God intended to be a beautiful picture and reflection

of Christ in the church. Is now marred and Satan loves to

do that. Do you know when the serpent

came in the garden? Now, when Adam was alone, it was

after their wedding. When did the serpent appear on

the scene in Genesis Genesis chapter 3, after the two became

Genesis 3 · chapter mention

one. And I use that often to tell

young people who get married. Hey, be careful.

If you think that now you've come together and there's less

temptation and less warfare, you got another thing coming to you.

This snake is waiting right there, even at the beginning of

your marriage. To tear it apart.

That's when Satan appeared in the Bible in Genesis 3.

You know what's so funny? If you look at the context,

you're still in Mark 10, right? Look at the last verse of Mark

nine. We talked about this last week.

Remember when Jesus said this? Salt is good.

But if salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it

salty again? Have salt in yourselves and be

at peace with one another. Isn't that fascinating how

that's in the context immediately after this?

We're talking about divorce. Why?

Because there's something about not just union among believers,

but among two believers coming together in marriage That is so

needed in our society. That has a testimony, that has

healing, that has hope generated and motivated by Christ, Word

and lordship and love moving in their hearts.

And it's spilling over into the relationship with one another.

And Satan will love to destroy the saltiness of your marriage.

She's your partner in the gospel.

It's better for you to be with her.

It's better for you to be with him.

If you're a serious follower of Christ, you know what God's done

in your life by providing that person a very near and ever

present sanctifying tool, right? Who's going to call you out more

than her? Yeah.

Who's going to? Who's going to make sure that

you don't go out of line more than him as he supervises you

and as he follows the example of his Lord, I'm here to sanctify

you. And you also as a helpmate, I'm

here to help you. Satan hates that you're going to

be more sanctified in your marriage.

You're going to be even saltier with her.

With him. I will not let it happen.

No wonder the all out war on marriage.

And that's why in this church, every single Wednesday, we pray

for the marriages of this church every single week.

And we pray for the single people of this church that they

would find somebody who has more than anything else, more than

the good looks, more than the charming personality, more than

the letters beside their name. A fear of God.

Because when you have no motivation, humanly speaking, to

love that person, forgive that person.

Work for that person. Work with that person.

You know what will help you God and your love for him.

So Jesus here says that indirectly.

Divorce is something I hate because it was not even closely

a part of my plan, not even at a distance.

Lastly, it's unlawful because it's sever as an institution

that was divinely inspired. Look at verse 9.

But therefore God has joined together, let not man separate

again. The Pharisees, the way they

approached even Deuteronomy 24, even though the way talking to

Jesus about marriage, they saw us merely as a legal contract,

like they approached the word of God to try to find loopholes.

Didn't Moses allow this? And what Jesus saying in verse 9

is no this is a spiritual institution.

Primarily because God is involved.

Look what he says. What therefore God has joined

together. Your marriage.

I want you to think of it this way now.

I hope you never forget what I'm about to say.

Your marriage is an act of God. Your marriage is a work of God.

He and his great Providence took.

You took her, joined you together.

You know why he hates it. Divorce interferes with

something that he's trying to work with, something that he

created, and something that he longs to use to glorify his

name. So what you're dealing with here

is not just two people and families and assets.

You're dealing with a God who put these things together, who

put these people together, and me.

You mere creatures would dare to interfere with that.

Isn't that profound? Don't you feel the heaviness of

it? Well, if there was anyone who

felt the heaviness of it, it was the disciples.

Look at Matthew 1910. You want to know the reaction

disciples? Maybe it's the reaction that you

have right there sitting in that Pew this afternoon.

Look what the disciples said after Matthew 19.

Is a more complete picture of this conversation, The disciples

said to him, If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is

better not to marry. Don't you appreciate the honesty

of the word of God translation, if that's the standard of

marriage, If you're saying that when a man and a woman come

together, they're stuck like that?

It's probably better not to entertain it to begin with.

Maybe this marriage thing is really not for me.

Maybe singleness is Our Calling. Imagine after a brief sermon on

marriage, everybody's like, I think I'm called to singleness.

And Jesus and the rest of that portion of scripture explains

this is not, this is not for everybody.

And he's talking about singleness.

And he goes on to talk about eunuchs.

It's better to marry than to burn with passion and lust.

If you're able to. People want to.

How do I know if I'm called to singleness?

How would I know? Listen, do you want to be

single? No, I want to get married.

You're not called to singleness. Isn't that profound?

Do you desire to have a husband or Yes, because Jesus explains

there that there are some who will refuse to be married and

have the grace to not be in a sexual relationship for the sake

of the Kingdom. Some are made eunuchs by birth,

some are made eunuchs by man, Some are made eunuchs by their

own will and volition desire. I want to stay single so that I

can dedicate myself more to the ministry.

I'm not limited by these worldly affairs.

Paul uses that language concerning marriage.

So if you desire to be married, OK, you're not called the

singleness. Simple as Jesus says, no,

listen, not everybody can accept this and I'm sure there's so

many things that are coming to mind.

So many scenarios, so many cases, and especially the

exception clause that Jesus makes clear.

Matthew 19, verse nine. Look at the verse before and I

say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual morality

and marries another, commits adultery.

So, so honorable, so high is this view of marriage that Jesus

explains when he says what therefore God has joined

together. Let no man separate that he

gives one single exception clause to divorce and that's

sexual morality. Paul adds to that by saying if

you're married to an unbelieving spouse and that unbelieving

spouse chooses to walk away from you, be at peace.

Let him walk away. And Jesus here spells out sexual

morality. The word pornea.

There is not just adultery, it speaks about the vast spectrum

of sexual sin. So that goes to show how serious

sexual sin is. There are some, maybe even here,

who don't believe that this is what Jesus meant.

And in order to provide no open door for there to be divorced,

there are some who even teach that no, even if somebody does

commit adultery or some gross sexual morality, you're not free

to remarry if you divorce. I don't want to Personally, as I

come to the word of God, I don't want to deny somebody something

that Jesus doesn't deny them. And when you actually look at

Matthew, chapter one, you read about Joseph who is trying to

understand how his young fiance got pregnant, and engagements

then we're much different than engagements today.

Engagements. Then we're almost like marriage.

You know what it says there in Matthew.

Read it on your own time. The Bible calls Joseph a just

man, and some translations are righteous man.

And in that very same breath we are told that Joseph, in order

not to shame her, sought to divorce her quietly.

You know what that says? That if there are grounds for

divorce, you can be righteous even in that pursuit.

Does that mean that even something as painful and as

betraying a sexual sin means that that marriage should be

ended? Absolutely not.

Absolutely not. We should fight for our

marriages even after something like that takes place.

We should fight for our marriages and so understand the

heart of the Lord here that this is not about finding the reasons

to divorce. This is a teaching about trying

to fight for our marriages more than anything else.

Not to result to divorce as a way out.

Even in the face of sin like this, that's not what the Lord

is getting at. At the same time, He

understands. He understands what a covenant

is. He understands what can nullify

it. He understands the human

hardness of heart, and so he speaks clearly, undeniably.

There are a lot of people, a lot of people on both ends of this

issue that do Hermenegal gymnastics to make their case.

Just stick with what the Bible says.

Just see what the Bible says. And I know, I know, I know, I

know, I know. There's so many other shades of

problems in between that might cost a couple to say.

I don't know if this is going to work, and I don't have enough

time here to describe those hypothetical scenarios, but I

would say, come to the word of God, please seek the counsel of

your church. If it's a biblical church and

you trust your elders, get before them with your spouse.

Talk open, be honest, plead, pray, cry weep.

Fight and trust of the Lord and His grace and wisdom and spirit

will lead and lead and lead and lead.

But don't give up, don't give up, Jesus says in Mark 10/10.

I already said it but I'll say it again and just to honor our

text. And in the house the disciples

asked him again about this matter.

So after Jesus spoke to the Pharisees in front of the crowd,

the disciples in a private session come to me and say Lord,

we got to know more about this. And I wonder based on Jesus

answer, if their question was about remarriage.

He said to them, whoever divorces his wife marries

another and marries another commits adultery against her.

And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits

adultery. You know that means what that

means. Humanly speaking, no matter what

efforts you go through to try to dissolve a union, if it's not on

the grounds, the righteous grounds for divorce, then it's

still seen as marriage in heaven.

So do whatever you need to do here.

You divorce somebody else for unrighteous reasons, for selfish

reasons, for whatever reason, except for the reasons that the

Bible presents, and you go marry somebody else.

Jesus says it's as though you are still married to that person

that you think you divorce from and you're now with somebody

else. That's adultery.

And what happens for a person who might be that situation?

What happens for the person who's hearing this message thing

saying? I blew it with my marriage.

Or I am on the other end. I didn't want this to happen,

and now here I am. Well, again, there are many ways

to approach this, but let me say something here.

Let me say something to those who might disagree with me,

maybe more on the liberal side, that regardless of the reason

for divorce, I should be free to remarry because I am lonely and

I am burning and I need companionship.

Here's what I would say. You know what God's heart would

be if there was an illegitimate divorce and each party is not

remarried? The priority is not to find

another spouse that's more compatible.

That's not God's priority. You know what?

It is reconciliation. And this is, this is, this is

what kind of hurts me because there are some who would say,

yeah, this is an illegitimate divorce and.

You know, in the name of whatever mercy and compassion.

Find somebody else. Find somebody else.

You know what that does? That cancels out the possibility

of those two people coming together again.

Because if even after a dishonorable and ugly split, if

you are with somebody else, if you even made that decision, the

decision that Jesus condemns here, that marriage now is a

standing marriage before God, now you have to honor that

marriage. And you're saying, what do you

mean by that? I'm saying, years ago I received

an e-mail from somebody who. Divorced.

Not for a legitimate reason. Remarried, adultery and was told

by other Christians, you need to divorce that person now and get

back with the original your original husband.

That's not right. Now that marriage is recognized.

Now that marriage is standing before God.

Now you have to honor that marriage and from that place

seek the Lord in repentance and seek to honor him in this new

union. You don't divorce and then go

back. That goes against what even

Deuteronomy is speaking about. So then what if, again, you're

in that place and you're wondering, I don't know what to

do here. I'm still trying to put all the

pieces together on my own, thinking in my own heart.

Believe that even if that decision was made, even if you

went to that courthouse, even if things seem to be set in stone,

God can do a miracle. Do you know how I know that

There is a story that my father told me if somebody he knew, not

even a believer, not even a believer and seeking my father

mother for help concerning their marriage, his marriage with his

wife who was sold on divorce, sold on divorce.

And she ended up making that decision.

He didn't want it. That decision was made, and my

dad lost touch with this individual years ago.

By This individual connects with my father.

Again. Still not a believer.

But you know what? I told my dad I'm back together

with my wife. I never remarried.

She never married. She just realized what a stupid

mistake that was. It took years, but she realized

it. You know what stirs me in my

heart? If that could be true for an

unbelieving couple, how much more for us who claim Christ?

If that could be true for the world, how much more us who has

believers believe that God can restore anything and reconcile

anyone? I'm fully aware that this is a

heavy message, not an easy message.

But here's my desire, and I end it here in preparing this and in

praying for this and preaching this for those who are married

in this place, that you would feel a fresh appreciation for

the union that you're enjoying. And God, I want you to look at

your spouse after this. I want you to get in that car,

not argue about where you're going to go and eat, but to hold

her hand and say God joined us together.

God brought you into my life. God brought you and I to walk

this journey hand in hand to glorify him.

I'm sorry, honey, if I lose my temper sometimes.

Honey. I'm sorry if I don't listen to

you sometimes and let the word of God fuse you even closer

together. And for those who might leave

this place heavy hearted because maybe you have a history of

divorce, maybe right now you are in a limbo not understanding

what to do with your marriage. And divorce is on the table.

Well, if you have a history with divorce, know this.

If you've repented about your past, today is a new day.

If you are not remarried, reconciliation is possible.

If you have remarried, honor God in this marriage.

Now. If you are struggling in your

relationship with your husband, with your wife, I beg you, take

that thought of the divorce and throw it in the trash if there

is grounds for it. Talk with your elders.

Talk with believers. Get wisdom on this.

Pray about this. Not to dismiss your emotions or

the pain, but to have God's Word govern your next steps.

If there's no grounds for it, I want you to hear me very

carefully. Satan is at your front step.

He's waiting for that to happen, and he will rejoice when it

does. Don't give him a chance to

rejoice. See this as a trial.

See this as a test, and see this as an opportunity to be

triumphant and to prove that Satan could not get your

marriage and you will honor God no matter what.

Let's pray, Lord, you know how hard our

hearts can be that we can even look at something as holy and

pure and heavenly as marriage and have disdain for it and

despise it and be unresponsive to it.

Forgive us though. We pray that for the every

believer in this place, we would see the high call marriages the

great responsibilities, but also the great delight, the grace of

life that marriage really is. Lord, For those who are married,

bless them, strengthen them, empower them.

For those who are struggling in their marriage or rescue them,

rescue them with truth. Lord, if there's an innocent

party involved, Lord, strengthen them.

If there's a guilty party involved, convict them and bring

them to their knees to see the gross sin that unfaithfulness

really is for those that are just not getting along and they

want to tap out. May they hear your voice for

them today, and may they find fresh motivation to keep

fighting for those who have a history.

Oh Lord, our prayer is not that they would be guilty or

condemned, that they would still praise you in light of your

word, and they would see wherever they are today as a new

day with a new opportunity to love you and worship you.

And thank you, Lord, that first John 5 tells us that when our

hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts.

Lord, as heinous and as destructive as divorce is, it is

not a sin that you are willing not to forgive.

You will forgive. And so, Lord, we just pray that

every person who might have had that past would be secure today,

knowing that you love them. Lord, we do love you and we

thank you, Oh God, that even with David and Bathsheba, even

though the beginning of the relationship was based on

immorality and unfaithfulness, when all was said and done it

was a new day. And you gave them Solomon, and

you name Solomon, Jedediah, beloved of the Lord.

And so for those who might be struggling, do I still have a

future? Do I still have a future with

God because of my past failed relationships?

May they remember that you gave us Solomon through a very, very,

very interesting relationship. And so, Lord, no matter where

we're coming from, we see the hope in this.

We see your mind in this, your heart in this, and we want to

rejoice in you. And so we pray that we would do

that now by your grace, in Jesus name.

Amen.