Radical Reconciliation – The Cost of Reconciliation

Yeah. Well, good morning.

Welcome to church. We're glad you're with us.

We introduced a few weeks ago. You're our bachelors on Sunday.

So let's figure it out today. Goodbye yesterday.

Goodbye yesterday. I'm living in the light of a new

day. I won't waste another minute in

my old ways. Praise, I've been born again.

Goodbye yesterday. I'm living in the light of a

dude. I won't waste another minute in

my whole way. Praise the Lord, I've been born

again. I'm right.

I've been born again, again, again.

Get it again. You rescued me out of the mess I

was in. You trained my sorrow for

something to sing. Now dancing on the grave at all

once lived in. Goodbye yesterday.

I'm living in the light of the noon, and I won't waste another

minute in my whole ways. Praise the Lord, I've been born

again. Goodbye yesterday.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon. I've got a resurrection in my

veins. Praise her.

I've been bored. Again and again and again and

again. You rescued me out of the mess I

was in. You traded my sorrow for

something to say. No, there's it on the grave that

I once lived in. Again and again and again and

again. You rescued me out of the mess I

was in. Great.

In my sorrow for something that says now dancing on the grave

that I once lived in, I have decided.

I have decided to follow Jesus, the world behind the cross

before. I won't turn back.

I have decided to follow Jesus the world behind the cross

before. I won't turn back.

I have decided to follow Jesus the world behind the cross

before. I won't turn back.

I have decided to follow Jesus. The world behind the cross

before I won't turn back. No, I won't turn back, but I

won't turn back. Down behind the cross before I

won't turn back. I won't turn back.

I won't turn back The world behind the cross before I won't

turn back again and again and again.

You rescued me out of the mess I was in.

Traded my sorrow for something to sink now dancing on the grave

that I want to sleep in. Again and again and again and

again. You rescued me out of the mess I

was in. Traded my sorrow for something

to sink now dancing on the grave that I want to sleep in.

Praise the Lord, I've been born again.

Praise the Lord, I've been born again.

I've been born again. Come on, we're dancing.

Dancing on the crate that I once named it.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

Dancing on the crate that I once landed.

I've been. Yeah, what a great day.

Hey, we're so glad you're with us this morning.

Thank you for choosing to join us and be in the room even

though it's wet outside. Aren't you thankful we have a

roof? Come on.

I think of people across the world that don't have any in

this. And I think of people that are

wrestling with figuring out how to cover their family, how to

cover their lives. And so I just am so thankful

that you chose to be with us this morning.

Hey, hear the Word of God today as just a simple encouragement

and a reminder that in first John 5, it says this.

And this is the testimony. This is our testimony that God

has given us eternal life and this life is in His Son.

So whoever has a son has life. Whoever doesn't have the Son of

God does not have life. That doesn't mean it stops.

It doesn't mean that you're not, that you're hopeless and you

don't have a way today. It means that we have life

because of Jesus and his sacrifice in our lives.

And so today, if you come in this place not knowing what to

do, not knowing how to maybe cry out, know that we have a God

that we call on. And when we say the name, that's

where sustain happens. That's where all of our

fulfillment of hope, grace, peace that we can't give to our

neighbors by ourselves is found in Him.

So this morning, can I pray with you before we continue to

worship this morning, Let's just invite God to do what he wants

to do this morning. Jesus, thank you for your

presence. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Thank you that we have life in you.

And when we call on your name, new life happens.

We come out of the grave we were once in because we've been born

again through your Son. Jesus got through your

sacrifice, his resurrection, His life is in US.

And so today, God, we are so thankful that we can celebrate.

So today, God, move in this place, have your way speak to us

in your name you pray, Amen. Come on church, let's continue

to worship today. I knew a name that can empty out

of rain. I knew a name.

It's the only name that says and is worthy of all praise.

Come on, I call you Jesus. I call you.

I call you healer rising and reigning in power.

Something comes out of the grave every time I call you Jesus.

I call you. I call you Satan worthy and

glory forever. Something comes out of the grave

every time I call your name. I have a king with dominion over

10 in his holy nail. Scarhead is the heave I serve in

10 the directing. Great I am.

I call you Jesus, I call you. I call you neither.

Rising and raining in power. Something comes out of your

grave every time I call you Jesus.

I call you. I call you St. worthy of glory

forever. Something comes out of your

grave. Every time I call you.

Chains break, tribals wait. Every time I call your name, the

gates of hell shake. Every time I call your name,

chains break, Tribals wait. Every time I call your name the

gates of hell. Every time I call your name,

every time I call your name dead is now yours.

Thing anywhere. Oh great, your victory and

where? Oh, death is now your sink, and

where? Oh great, your victory and where

of death is now your. Of deep in the way of great

glory, glory, let things come alive, let things come alive.

Let things come alive. In the name of Jesus, let things

come alive. Let things come alive.

Let things come alive in the name of Jesus.

Let things come alive. Let things come alive.

Let things come alive in the name of Jesus.

Let things come alive. Let things come alive.

Let things come alive in the name.

I call you Jesus call you, I call you.

We love rising and raining in hours.

Something comes out of the rain every time I call you Jesus, I

call you. I call you Satan worthy of glory

forever. Something comes out of the rain

every time I call your name. Change, break tribe or wait.

Every time I call your name the game of hell day.

Every time I call your name dead.

Please come alive dead. Please come alive dead.

Please come alive in the name of Jesus.

Let things come alive. Let things come alive.

Let things come alive in the name of Jesus.

Yes they do. When I pray, be your welcome.

Let your songs be your sign. We are here for you, We are here

for you. Let your man come from heaven.

Fill our hearts with your life 'cause we are here for you.

We are here for you. You can just doubt that your

hearts are open. You, our hearts are open.

Nothing here is hidden. You are A1 desire you alone, our

holy, only our worthy God. Let your fire fall down, Let us

shout be your end. You're renowned.

Here's the sky that we are here for you.

We are here for you. Let your world move in power,

let what stand come to life 'cause we are here for you.

We are here for you. You, our hearts are open.

Nothing here is here. And you, our one desire.

You are not holy, only you are worthy.

God, let your fire fall down. You, our hearts are open.

Nothing here is here. And you, I want this.

I you, Lord, our holy, holy Lord, be God, but your fire fall

down. Oh, we welcome you with race.

We welcome you with race. Almighty God of love, be welcome

in this place. We welcome you with race.

We welcome you with race. Almighty God of love, be welcome

in this place. Every heart of God, in every

soul way, Almighty God of love, be welcome in this place and be

around you with race. Be welcome you with race.

Almighty God of love, be welcome in this place.

Oh be welcome in this place. Oh God.

Be well God you. Our hearts are open, nothing

here is hidden. You are A1 desire.

You alone are holy, only you are worthy.

God, let your fire fall down to you.

You, our hearts are open, Nothing here is hidden.

You are our one desire, You alone as you alone, our holy,

Only You are worthy. God, let your fire fall down.

Jesus, in this place, we're so thankful that we can say these

words, that we believe that there's power in your name to

sustain and to provide. But God, we welcome you to move

and to speak, to change, to do what you want to do.

Too often we come in this place with an agenda.

And so today, God, we just want to say we're sorry.

We don't need that agenda today. We don't need to check a box.

God, we just want you to move in our lives and to have just a

fresh refill, a fresh overflowing.

Or maybe, God, someone's needing just a little bit of you because

they're completely empty today because they come in this place

tapped out. God, the week has been really

difficult. Their month, their year has been

really difficult. Maybe they're changing jobs,

maybe they're moving homes, maybe they're uniting families.

God, whatever The thing is happening in their lives, when

someone comes in this place and we call on your name, a savior,

healer, sustainer, provider, God, you're everything we could

ever need. God, may they find hope in you

today. May they find peace today.

May they find. What you're doing in our lives,

and we're different because of how you've changed us, not

because we're acting right now, because we're saying the right

things, but because you are changing our hearts and our

minds. So God, as we honor you with our

song, but we also honor you with our lives.

And everything that we do is Pastor Alice comes and speaks

about what it means to reconcile our lives to be more in line

with yours. Would you give him the words to

speak, to change our hearts, to change our minds, Not just

because of what he's saying to God, because the ways you're

working through all of us, the ways that we need to be more

like you. Help us come back, refill us

today. O God, fall fresh in our lives.

You're so good and awesome and everything you do, we love you.

Amen. You can have a seat.

It's good to be with you this morning.

Turn and tell someone. It's good to see you tell them.

And I want to welcome a very special couple guest with us

today. Pastor Deb and Brian Crabtree

are over here. Would you guys welcome them?

And if you're if if you're new Pastor Deb served on staff here

for over 20 years and then retired a few years ago and move

down to Florida. But it's always good to see you

back. And so it's good to see all of

you. Is it good to see me?

Oh, thanks. That makes me feel good.

Hey, it's going to be together in the House of Lord today.

And and we're talking about radical reconciliation.

We're talking about some tough stuff, but I got to tell you,

there's really good stuff in God's Word.

It always is. Today there really is.

And, and so let me ask you this, have you ever been tested?

Have you ever been tested? Nod your head if you've been

tested. Raise your hand if you've been

tested, if you ever just felt like, you know, I'm really being

tested right now. So this week we had Pizzagate

2025. I had some friends over the

house and we ordered some pizzas.

I won't tell you from where. It's a great place, but but I

ordered some pizzas and I went over our three large pizzas in a

calzone. And so I went to the pizza

place. I got there, we ordered it about

5:50. They said it would be ready at

7:00. So I got there at 7 and there

was a big group of people right there.

I went up to the counter. I said my name is Alex Mahaffey.

They said, OK, it'll be out in just a minute.

And I went back and I sat with all of these people, probably

eight people sitting there waiting.

And I thought, this isn't good. There's eight people waiting on

pizza. This isn't good.

And so I sat there. Well, before I walked back, I

should have told you this. Another gentleman walked up

behind me, and he said my name is Alex, and he checked in.

So we got another Alex in the equation.

OK. And so I go sit down.

I'm sitting there. I say, you guys all waiting on

pizza? Yeah, we're waiting on pizza.

OK. How long you been here?

A little while. OK.

So I sat there for a while. Well, then about 10 minutes

later, my, my new friend Alex walks past me with three pizzas

and another box. And I thought, wait a minute,

you know what? I'm a patient man sometimes.

And so, so I said, you know, I'm sitting there.

I said, I'll wait a little bit longer.

It's probably just a coincidence that Alex probably just, it's

probably just an Alex thing tonight, 3 pizzas in a calzone.

And so I sat there. I waited until about 7:25 and

I'm just thinking, OK, it's 7:30.

I'm going back up. I've been here almost 30

minutes. At 7:30, I'm going back up.

And so at 7:30 I walked up, I said, hey, Alex Mahaffey

checking back in. I've been waiting for a little

bit. And they said you already picked

up your pizza. I said no, no, I didn't.

I'm right here. And, and they said, oh man, you

know that the other Alex took your pizzas.

He only had one pizza and you had 3 + a calzone and he took

it. And I, I just thought it's

great, you know, they said if you'll just wait 2530 more

minutes, we'll get your order done.

Now listen, I was like, OK, you know, I'm being tested here.

Now, guys, this is tricky for me.

It's tricky for all of us. But as the pastor of a church, I

have to be careful how I act in public because you never know

who's going to show up to your church the next Sunday or the

Sunday after and say, that's that mean guy at the pizza

place. So I'm being tested.

I said, you know what, that's OK, I'll I'll go somewhere, I'll

come back. It gave me an opportunity to go

get heartburn medicine because if I eat pizza, I need heartburn

medicine. So I went to the store and then

I decided, you know, what would make me feel a lot better about

this hour long wait is getting a nice Coca-Cola from McDonald's.

And so I drove over to to McDonald's.

I got in line. There was one person in front of

me, nobody in front of them. I ordered.

They got up to the paying window.

They paid and then they had about a 5 minute conversation

just hanging out. How you doing?

What's going on with you? And I'm just sitting there

thinking, yeah, you know, I was here, now I'm here.

I'm about to be here. You know, you ever been like,

you know, you're just being tested and like you just kind

of, you know, just do this with me, do this with your hands,

come on. And just, you know, you ever

like something happens and it gets a little tighter and do you

feel what's happening here? And, you know, eventually I got

my Coca-Cola, I got the pizza. You know what?

Everything was fine. But but sometimes we live there,

don't we? Sometimes we live in that place.

In fact, we live in a world that is that is here, right?

It seems like so many people are just living with this angst,

with this, you know, just deep down anger and bitterness.

Today I want to talk about refreshing.

Turn to someone and say refreshed.

We sang the we sang a song that said dead things come alive in

the name of Jesus. And here's the deal.

I think a lot of us, even us good Christian people sometimes

are walking around with this bitterness, this anger.

Today I believe God wants you to be refreshed.

We're in the series Radical reconciliation.

I just want to tell you today you have a choice.

You don't have to walk around better angry upset.

You can be free. And so so we're in this series.

The first week we talked about the fact that we're invited into

this Koinonia fellowship and and listen, praise the Lord you're

here at church today. If you're online, I want to

invite you to come and be here with us because there's nothing

better than being a part of the body of Christ and you have the

upper you're surrounded by good people today.

Look around. These are some good people.

These are all good people. There's not a bad one in here,

all good people. We are invited into the Koinonia

fellowship of the family of God, the body of Christ.

You're not just invited to be a part of the church, to come to a

church and say I go to that church.

God wants to invite you into this tight family that will love

you and care for you. And so you are invited.

In the second week, we talked about Agape.

Love. That radical reconciliation

happens because we as followers of Christ are called to love

each other different. We're not just called to be

friendly. We're not just called to love

each other because we have to. We're supposed to have agape

love, which is unconditional love that forgives and

reconciles. Well, today we're going to talk

about being refreshed. So stand with me in honor God's

Word. We're going to read the Word,

and I'm reading all of Philemon chapter 1.

Philemon 1 · chapter mention

It's 25 verses. I want to give you the context

really quick. I know some of you have been

here 2 weeks and you've heard this, but if you're new, I just

want to catch you up on what's happening.

This is Paul's letter to Philemon.

Philemon was a member of the Church of Colossi and he had, he

was probably a wealthy member of the church and, and he had

slaves. And that day it was normal to

have slaves. If you are a wealthy person.

Sometimes that was because of a battle that somebody won and you

took in slaves instead of eliminating them.

Sometimes a family was in debt. And so they would kind of give

themselves or their family members as slaves.

Listen, I, I want to say this, we're going to talk about this

more next week. God's Word does not say that

slavery is OK, but the reality is God always meets us in the

brokenness of our world and calls us to something better.

So. So Philemon was probably a

wealthy guy in the church and he had slaves and one of them was

Onissimus. And Onissimus at one point

wronged him. He probably we think stole from

him and then he ran away. And when he ran away, he ended

up 1300 miles away, ran into Paul, and God changed his heart.

And Onissimus realized he had been wrong and he accepted Jesus

as his savior and he changed. Now Paul is sending this letter

back with Onissimus. You're going to make the journey

back. You're going to take this letter

and you're going to seek reconciliation, radical

reconciliation from Philemon. So that's the context of this

letter. I'll read it.

You can follow along on the screen.

He says Paul prisoner of Christ Jesus and Timothy, our brother

to Philemon and our dear friend and fellow work, our dear friend

and fellow worker. Also to Afia, our sister and

archivist, our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in

your home. Grace and peace to you from God

our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I always thank my God as I remember you and my prayers

because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your

faith in the Lord Jesus. I pray that our your partnership

with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your

understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of

Christ. Your love has given me great joy

and encouragement because you, brother, have refreshed the

hearts of the Lord's people. Say refreshed.

Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and I could order

you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on

the basis of love. It is none other than Paul, an

old man and now also a prisoner in Christ Jesus, that I appeal

to you for my son Onissimus. He, he became my son while I was

in chains. Formerly he was useless to you,

but now he has become useful both to you and to me.

I am sending him, who is my very heart back to you.

I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take

your place in helping me while I'm in chains for the gospel,

but I did not want to do anything without your consent,

so that any favor you do would not seem forced, but would be

voluntary. Perhaps the reason he was

separated from you for a little while was that you might have

him back forever, no longer as a slave, but better than a slave,

as a dear brother. He's very dear to me, but even

dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother and the

Lord. So if you consider me a partner,

welcome him as you would welcome me.

If he's done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to

me. I, Paul, am writing this with my

own hand. I will pay it back, not to

mention that you owe me your very self.

I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you and

the Lord. Refresh, say refresh, refresh my

heart in Christ, confident in your obedience, I write to you

knowing that you will do even more than I ask.

And one more thing, prepare a guest room for me, because I

hope to be restored to you and answer to your prayers.

Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus sends you

greetings. So to Mark, Aristarchus, Dimas

and Luke, my fellow workers, the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ

be with your spirit. Praise Lord, you can have a

seat. Hey, way to go.

We made it through 25 verses. Philemon, the Paul's letter to

Philemon calling him to radical reconciliation.

So we've talked about being invited into the Koinonia

fellowship, the body of Christ. We've talked about agape love.

And last week I, I really hammered at home that we as

followers of Christ are, are required.

I mean it. We can't follow Jesus without

being a people of reconciliation and forgiveness.

Today I want to talk about the fact that there's a cost and

there's a reward to reconciliation.

There's a cost and there's a reward.

So First off, let's start with the cost.

There is always a cost and reconciliation.

I'm going to move pretty quick through this.

In verse 12, Paul says I'm sending him who's my very heart

back to you. I would have liked to keep him

with me so that he could take your place in helping me while

I'm in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do

anything without your consent so that any favor you would do, you

do would not seem forced, but would be voluntary.

There's a cost. There's a cost for Paul.

I mean, Paul didn't even do anything wrong.

He's just a minister for the gospel.

But there's a cost to Paul. There's a cost to Onissimus who

did something wrong. And then there's a cost to

Philemon, who's being asked to bring, to forgive, to reconcile

this. Paul's cost is this, Paul is in

chains. He's in prison.

He's writing this from prison and he has this new friend, this

buddy that's helping him and taking care of him.

Paul had a heart for the church. He was a minister and and he's

he's stuck in chains, but he has this new brother or son, he says

Onissimus, and that's a great thing for him.

He says he's helping me doing the work that I need, that the

work that you used to do. He's helping.

I would love to have kept him here, but he needs to go to you

and he needs to make this right. The first cost is this guy's

reconciliation means that we choose what's right over what's

easy, and that can be costly. Think about this.

Paul not only sent his friend Oniss, Onissimus travelled a

long way and we'll get to him in a minute, but there is a cost

and reconciliation. Choosing to reconcile, choosing

to forgive, choosing to to allow what's broken to be fixed is

important because it's right. It's not easy.

It's it's rarely ever easy. Reconciliation means choosing

what's right over what's easy. It's worth doing because it's

right. It's the right way to live.

It's a it's a matter of our heart and our conscience, guys.

If we are living with pain and brokenness, if we're living in

this place, if we have broken relationships with others, it's

right to fix it. It's not easy.

Our culture says take the easy way out.

Move to the other side of town, go to a different church, stop,

talk. Sit on the other side of the

sanctuary from them. Leave work, go to a different

place, shop at a different place.

Do this. There's easy.

The easy thing is to run away from something.

The right thing is to fix it. And Paul says, listen, it would

be much easier for me if I if I kept Onissimus here.

But it's not what's right. And what needs to happen is

radical reconciliation. So I'm sending him back.

That's Paul's part. But then he says this, this

great thing. He says, I could order you to do

this. I could tell you to do this.

I have the authority to force you to reconcile, but instead

I'm choosing to allow you to choose it.

All right? I've got four boys.

They fight on a daily basis. You guys know that, right?

If you have kids, you know kids fight.

Four boys daily basis fighting and it happens all the time

where something happens and there's, you know, this, this is

where we live a lot of times with the boys.

And and if if you're a parent, then you know this.

If you're not, then I'll just explain it to you.

Usually as a parent, what we do in that situation, as we say,

you need to go apologize to your brother for spitting on him, for

hitting him, for jumping on him, for stealing from him for yeah,

all those things happen guys. You need to go apologize, and

you know what happens? Fine.

I'm sorry, jerk. I mean, that's pretty much how

it goes. We're not perfect, pastors,

family not perfect. OK, we could force them to do

it. We do.

We need to as parents. But the truth is, if they're

doing something because they're forced, there's not a lot of

weight behind it. And usually when that happens,

we say, hey, go back and say it like you mean it, fine.

I'm sorry, jerk. The truth of the matter is this,

you know, Paul says I have the authority to make you do this,

but this is something you need to choose.

And for Onissimus, and for Philemon, they needed to choose

to do the right thing and to bring healing.

He could say you're forced to, but that wouldn't really solve

it, would it? There wouldn't really be true

healing. And so Onissimus had a cost,

too. He had to go back, and he had to

admit what's wrong. How many of us like to admit

when we're wrong? None of us like to admit when

we're wrong. Onissimus had to travel back.

He had to walk back into Philemon's house, and he had to

say, I was wrong. I'm sorry.

They just admit it. Don't be mean about it.

Just tell them. Matter of fact.

Just admit it. You know what?

If we could get that part right, it would change so much if we

can just admit when we're wrong. Guess what?

I'm wrong all the time. Just the other day I had to

admit Megan. I'm sorry.

I was wrong. And I was boys.

I'm sorry. I was wrong.

I shouldn't have handled myself that way.

You deserved it, but I shouldn't have.

No, that's not how to say it. Just admit it.

Onissimus had to walk back, and there was a cost.

He had to take that risk. He had to humble himself.

See. Reconciliation requires

humility. We have to admit we're wrong.

So I also have a dog. You've heard me talk about my

kids plenty. You've heard me talk about my

dog plenty. My dog Baxter.

Not my favorite dog. Every once in a while Baxter

will get into something he shouldn't and he'll get some

trash. He'll get something, you know, a

sock or a piece of clothing. And.

And I go, and I say Baxter let go of it.

And Baxter looks at me and laughs at me with his evil smile

and I say let go of it. And then I grab the other end of

it and he clinches tight. You know this again.

And we have this giant standoff Baxter and I do Baxter, let it

go. You guys have this with your

dog. Am I the only one?

And Baxter is one of the most stubborn dogs and I'm probably

one of the most stubborn people. So doesn't usually work well.

But but here's the deal, like Baxter, you're not going to win.

You're a 15 or 20 LB dog. I'm a £230 man and it's not

going to end well for you. But he fights it.

He fights. I'm not letting go.

And eventually I win. See, at some point, we, we've

we've got to admit we're wrong. Baxter's not very good at it.

You know what? We're not very good at it, are

we? But.

But Onissimus has to go back and he has to admit that he's wrong.

The cost is that he has to walk back in sheepishly and say, hey,

I'm sorry, I blew it. Forgive me, that's hard for us.

Then there's Philemon's cost. CEO Nismus comes back to him and

Paul says, you know, when he comes back to you, he's gonna

humble himself. But but there's a cost for you

as well because see, you have been wronged.

You have been maybe stolen from. We don't know exactly if it's

stolen, but something wrong has happened.

And then Onissimus ran away from you.

It's not right what he did. But Paul says when he comes

back, I want you to accept him back.

He doesn't just say accept. He says I want you to welcome

him back, not as a slave again. Welcome him back as if you're

welcoming me. And so the cost in this is

Philemon has to then humble himself and he has to let go.

And he has to say, OK, I forgive you and I let it go.

Guys, you know how often we hold on to things.

You know how often we refuse to forgive over stupid things.

Guys, how often do you hold on to something?

I mean, guys, an hour waiting on pizza, who cares?

Who cares 5 minutes in a drive through.

And, and the, the tendency is for us to, you know, it just

builds and it builds and it builds.

And we live in a world that walks around with this chip on

our shoulder with this anger, with this bitterness.

And usually it's not even over anything super important.

You know what Paul's saying to Philemon?

He's saying there's a cost. You've got to let this go,

You've got to forgive. But there's far more benefit

than cost. Let it go, guys.

Reconciliation means sometimes we've got to choose to forgive

even when people don't deserve it.

Not to treat people with what they deserve, but to treat them

with reconciliation. Here's a here's the thing.

Reconciliation requires choosing to be right with people instead

of being choosing to be right over people.

And there's a big difference. See, when someone wrongs you,

you have the moral high ground. You can say, well, I hold this

over you. Paul's saying don't do, don't

live here because that's this. Choose to be right with each

other instead of over each other.

Listen guys, I want to tell you this, and this is super

important. People matter far more than

money or things or an hour of your night.

The greatest gift that God gives us is His love and grace.

Another great gift He gives us is the people around us.

And we can live here and we can be at odds with others, or we

can choose reconciliation and we can choose to be with each other

instead of over each other, right?

Here's your bonus point. Today when God calls us to

reconcile, God's not calling us to do anything that he hasn't

already done for us. Listen to verse 17.

Paul says if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you

would welcome me. If he's done anything, if he has

done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me.

I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand.

I will pay it back. And then these last words, these

are clever words, he says, not to mention that you owe me your

very self. Paul says, listen, I know he's

wronged you. I know there's a cost and, and

Paul says, listen, if there's a cost, I'll pay it, it's worth

it. I'll pay it, charge it to me.

But then he says, hey, don't forget Philemon.

And, and I don't think Paul's trying to pull a power card

here. I don't think this is a, a

lawyer tactic saying you can't charge me anything.

I think what Paul's doing here is he's reminding Philemon that

that the cost that that Onissimus owes him is nothing

different than the cost that he owed Jesus, that he owed God.

And here's the truth guys. The things we hold on to, the

things we, I can't, can't let that go.

The truth is we have a savior that came, Jesus Christ, God's

only son that came and died on a cross to pay for our sins.

And so Paul is saying, listen, if there's something wrong, I

will do the Christ like thing and I will take the penalty.

But don't forget, Philemon, that your very life is a gift from

God. That's huge, guys.

When we're living here and we can't reconcile, just remember

what God's done for you. You know, someone stole my

pizza. I've told this story before.

I won't, I won't spend a long time on it.

But when I was in 7th grade all my friends used to walk down to

the 711 after church every week and they they would steal just

because they could and I never did.

Except one day I didn't have any money so I went with them.

I took one pack of chewy sprees, one stupid pack.

I was wrong, and so how can I get mad at someone else for

stealing a couple pizzas that I eventually got anyway?

How can I be mad at someone else for stealing?

How can I be mad at someone else for cutting me off in traffic

when I cut people off in traffic all the time?

Sorry, guys, probably cut some of you off in traffic, Paul

says, welcoming back. Reconcile.

Don't forget that there's a God that reconciled you.

Here's the good news today, guys.

I don't care, but it is. God loves you so much that He

sent His one and only Son, and when you didn't deserve it, He

paid the price for you to be reconciled.

How can we hold anything against anyone else?

There's always a cost to reconciliation.

Reconciliation always has a cost.

But let me say this, reconciliation is always worth

it. I'm going to zip through this

last part, verse 11. He says that Onissimus formerly,

formerly he was useless to you. Now he has become useful to both

you and me. Now let me explain that.

That sounds kind of, that sounds weird.

What Paul's saying here is that, you know, before Philemon, you

had a slave that you could order around.

You could tell him what to do. And he did what you told him to

do because he had to. But he was just a slave.

He didn't love you. He didn't care about you.

He wasn't all about your business.

He just did what you told him to do because he had to.

He said formerly he was pretty much useless to you, but now

he's become useful. He says, I want you to welcome

him back, not as a slave, as a brother.

And so there's a reward with reconciliation.

See, when we're at odds with someone, they're kind of useless

to us, aren't they? I mean, if there's someone you

can't even look at or talk to, there's it.

It really damages the relationship.

There's not much you're getting. In fact, I would even make the

case that that that's only making you more and more bitter

and angry, Paul says. But now Onissimus has changed,

and now he's useful to us, not because we've got to use him,

but because now we're all on the same team.

We're on mission together. Reconciliation brings us

together and puts us on mission together.

We become not enemies, but we become allies.

Guys, it's important in life to have allies, right?

Reconciliation opens the door for enemies to become allies,

and now we are all serving the same purpose, the same God.

And verse 15, perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a

little while was that you might have him back forever, no longer

as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother.

He's very dear to me, but even dearer to you both as a fellow

man, as a brother, and the Lord. Reconciliation puts us on

mission together. It also ties us much more deeply

together. When you go through something

with someone, when you forgive something, when there's a

brokenness or a wrong and it's made right, your relationship

deepens far more than it ever could have been before.

He says he was a slave. Now you gain a brother.

That's a beautiful thing. Then this is where I really want

to get to say refreshed with me. Verse 7, Paul says, your love

has given me great joy and encouragement because you

brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord's people.

Then in verse 20, he says, I do wish brother, that I may have

some benefit from you in the Lord.

Refresh my heart in Christ. I do this again with me.

Take your hands. I know, I know, I'm really

making you do a lot today. This is good.

This is interactive sermon and you know that sometimes when

you're being tested, when you've had it up to here and it just

keeps getting worse, you just just gets tighter and tighter.

Do the keep doing this. Come on, it's good.

I want you to feel this. And there's angst and there's

bitterness and there's heaviness.

And Paul says, hey, we need you to reconcile because when we

reconcile, we are refreshed. Let me tell you what those words

mean. The word refresh is anapao and

it means to give rest or to ease up or to relax something that's

strained. And so, so think about we were

here and he says refresh my heart and refreshing means we we

can rest, we can ease up. He says, refresh my heart.

Now, I hate to tell you, but that word isn't necessarily

technically translated heart. In fact, it's, it's splenon and

it, it actually means your bowels, your inner being,

because you guys know this guys when you're holding on to

bitterness. And I know this because I've

seen it. I've seen it and I've felt it

before. When you're holding on to

something, when you have anger and you have bitterness, you

have this tightness inside, deep inside of you, and it's like you

can feel the wrong that's going on.

Paul says if you'll reconcile, you can ease up, you can relax,

your insides can be refreshed. You don't have to walk around

like this. You can walk around free.

Reconciliation restores our soul.

Guys. Today I got good news.

If you're walking around and you're feeling it, if someone

wronged you a long time ago and you've been carrying it with

you, maybe just it's been a tough week and and it's just

been getting more and more Today you can be refreshed.

There's a God that loves you and if you'll surrender it to him,

not only will he refresh your heart and soul, but then you can

make things right with someone else.

Stand with me, worship team, Come on up.

Maybe someone stole some pizza from you this week.

Maybe someone cost you an extra 5 minutes in a drive through.

Maybe someone did something really, really bad to you a long

time ago. Maybe someone hurt you in a

major, major, major way. Maybe you hurt someone else and

you've been living in this place.

Our world is living here, guys. Our God says you're invited into

the fellowship where you will love each other with an

unconditional love. And today you can be free.

So today I want to invite you. We're going to sing a couple

songs, and I just want to invite you to respond to God's word.

And listen, these altars are a place.

They're not a place of shame. There's nothing wrong with

coming to an altar. It doesn't mean you're a bad

person. And in fact, it's a place of

victory and freedom because when you're like this, he can free

you. So if there's something in your

life, maybe there's something that's been weighing on your

mind today, I would invite you to surrender that.

You can come to an altar. You can pray where you are.

You can go find someone, whatever you got to do.

Let's surrender and respond to God's Word.

Father, I pray you'd speak to us today, lead us to refreshing.

If there's anyone in here, it's walking in tightness and pain

and heaviness. Today I pray we would surrender

to you. We give you everything.

Speak to us, lead us, guide us, help us to be obedient, refresh

us. Lord in Jesus name, Amen.