The Lonely Life

It's Ecclesiastes 4, 4 to 16.

Let me pray for the preaching of God's word.

Heavenly Father, we are a lonely people.

We are an envious people.

We are a greedy people.

Lord, forgive us for our many sins,

and we see the effect of Hevel,

of unwise living,

and how much it drives us to loneliness.

But Lord, thank you that you have called us friends in Jesus.

Thank you for your word that addresses us today.

Keep our hearts open and soft

so that we would be transformed by your word and your spirit

to be more and more like you, Christ,

and to build community here in this church,

in this city, and in our lives.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Please rise to honor the reading of God's word.

Starting from verse 4.

Then I saw all toil and all skill and work

come from a man's envy of his neighbor.

This also is vanity and a striving after wind.

The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh.

Better is a handful of quietness

than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.

Again, I saw vanity under the sun.

One person who has no other,

either son or brother,

yet there is no end to all his toil,

and his eyes are never satisfied with riches

so that he never asks,

for whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?

This also is vanity and an unhappy business.

Two are better than one

because they have a good reward for their toil.

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.

But woe to him who is alone

when he falls and has not another to lift him up.

Again, if two lie together, they keep warm,

but how can one keep warm alone?

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone,

two will withstand him.

A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Better was a poor and wise youth

than an old and foolish king

who no longer knew how to take advice.

For he went from prison to the throne,

though in his own kingdom he had been born poor.

I saw all the living who move about under the sun

along with that youth who was to stand in the king's place.

There was no end of all the people,

all of whom he led.

Yet those who come later will not rejoice in him.

Surely this also is vanity

and a striving after wind.

This is God's holy and authoritative word.

You may be seated.

There is a dangerous health epidemic

that's ravaging all of America.

And it's more dangerous than smoking 15 cigarettes

or drinking six alcoholic drinks per day.

It's a lot.

According to the U.S. Surgeon General,

the leading voice in our U.S. government

for health and safety,

being infected with this epidemic

increases your risk by 20%,

29% of heart disease,

32% increased risk of stroke,

and a whopping 50% increase

in developing dementia for older patients,

for older adults.

Can you guess what is ravaging our society today?

Yeah.

Kind of obvious, right?

It's loneliness.

Basically, by all measures that people have been studying,

whether it's by number of hours you spend in person

with another person,

the number of single households,

single-person households,

the number of close friends that you have,

every single one of these numbers

are trending to show that we are an increasingly lonely society.

And it's no new fact to medical practitioners

that broken heart syndrome

is both an emotional and mental

and physical reality.

It affects us totality,

our total person.

It affects us.

So to us,

a lonely world,

the preacher of Ecclesiastes

has some relevant words for us today,

which is an amazing thought.

This book has been written over 2,000 years ago,

and it's still relevant.

It has such rich wisdom for us today.

And he knows that it's not good for man to be alone.

Just as God declares in the Garden of Eden

in Genesis 3,

Instead,

we ought to flee loneliness

that's striving after wind,

that comes from striving after wind,

and in turn,

create community with those around us.

That's the main point of my sermon today.

And in turn,

we'll see how the preacher warns us

of the loneliness that's caused by envy and competition,

the loneliness that's caused by greed,

and finally,

the loneliness that affects even those

who are at the top of society.

So the preacher opens up our passage

with a sobering observation

to the nature of work.

He says that all toil

and all skill

come from a man's envy of his neighbor.

Notice those repeated words,

all,

all toil,

all skill.

Where does every impressive feat of man come from then?

How have we gotten to the technological advancements

of the iPhone or AI?

How have we gotten man onto the moon?

How have we developed COVID vaccines so quickly?

It's all from competitive envy.

That's what the preacher claims.

It's when we feel bitter

that others are doing better.

That's what fuels us to be successful.

Now this is a clearly an exaggerated hyperbolic statement,

right?

Because after all,

how could one man know

the hearts of every single other person here on earth?

But still,

we do well to consider

just how common,

how ubiquitous

this feeling and sin of envy is.

It reigns in every domain of our lives.

It's in our workplaces,

our schools,

our labs,

our homes,

even our churches.

It's literally everywhere.

Richard Phillips,

he's a long time faithful pastor

and his wife Sharon.

They've written,

the longer we serve in ministry,

the more we see pretty much

that everyone is envying everyone else.

No one has the circumstances

that they really want.

Notice how the preacher identifies

the source of his envy

in verse four.

It's not some,

you know,

abstract,

far out,

theoretical person of success.

It's our neighbors.

We are envious of our neighbors.

The fodder of envy

is really the closest people

in our lives.

Pastor Jerry Bridges

in his book,

Respectable Sins,

he comments,

an insurance salesman

is not likely to envy

a professional athlete

who earns a multi-million dollar salary,

but he may well envy

another salesman

who sells more insurance

than he does.

A pastor of a small,

medium-sized church

is not likely

to envy the mega church pastor,

but he may be tempted

to envy the pastor

down the street

whose church is growing

more than his.

See,

the reason we are

tempted to envy

in these situations

is that there are

enough things alike

that the differences

tend to strike us

in the face.

So the point goes,

if you are guilty

of the sin of envy,

which,

let's say,

the preacher thinks

it's very likely,

he knows that you could

very much be envious

of the people

you're closest to,

most similar to,

your brother,

your sister,

your roommate,

your best friend.

He drives that new car.

She got into that program

that I wanted.

He just started dating.

That's all fodder

for envy

in our sinful hearts.

But why are we

such a competitive,

envious people?

Why is it so common?

At the heart level,

even for God's adopted children,

we envy because

we are plagued

with insecurity,

aren't we not?

We're both insecure

and proud.

And believe it or not,

those are not

mutually exclusive things.

Those are just two sides

of the same coin.

We're proud

and we're insecure

because we stand

on the shaky ground

of self-dependence.

We think it's up to us

to prove our self-worth

and to prove our value,

to earn

and achieve the love

and acceptance

that we really,

really crave and need.

Sometimes it's been called

having an orphan mentality.

We think and act

as if we are orphans.

And we don't have

a Heavenly Father

who really cares

and loves for us,

who yearns after you.

and without the security

of a steadfast,

faithful love

of God

that's in us

in Christ,

we then puff up

our chests, right?

We puff up our chests

and we compete

with one another

because after all,

who's going to love me?

How else am I going

to get loved?

How else am I going

to be accepted?

And in the end,

if you never grow

out of this,

you're going to have

a really,

really hard time

being a healthy part

of a community

and experience

true friendship.

This is what

David Gibson writes

in his book.

Consider the old saying,

any friend can share

your sorrows

and failures,

but it takes

a true friend

to share your joys

and successes.

Isn't this true?

When we see

a friend succeed

and make things work,

we smile

and pat her

on the back,

but deep down

we envy

because she has

made us feel worse

about ourselves.

When our friend

falls flat on his face,

our sinfulness

is such that

we can watch him

mess up

and even hug him,

but his failure

makes us feel

so much better

about ourselves.

If that defines

our relationships today,

if it defines

your relationships today,

you're going to struggle

with always

being defensive,

easily hurt,

suspicious of others,

you're always going

to feel alone,

disconnected,

unsupported,

just like a poor orphan.

See,

the most competitive

of us

are truly

the most lonely

of us.

but often

the world

promotes envy

as a motivator

for incredible success

because,

let's face it,

it is

an incredible

motivator.

The preacher

is wise

to admit

that this

produces

all skill.

Some of the

most successful

people in this life

have been

the most

envious,

the most

brutally competitive,

just a short list

of some

crazy successful people,

Alexander the Great,

Leonardo da Vinci,

Oprah,

Steve Jobs,

Michael Jordan,

all of these

incredibly successful

people have been

widely known

to use their

envy,

their competitive

drive,

to drive them

to all toil,

all skill.

It's unbelievable,

really,

if you look at it,

it's unbelievable

how far

some people

will push themselves

without rest

or sleep,

without fun

or play

just to be

better than

the next guy.

Let's take a look

at Kobe Bryant,

the late,

great basketball

player.

He was widely

known to have

really this

relentless

work ethic.

He was the

first and last

person in and

out of the gym,

and while other

teammates would be

just waking up

in the hotel

at 8 a.m.,

he'd just be

returning full of,

drenched with sweat

after practicing

for two to three

hours,

putting up

1,000 shots.

And throughout

his career,

it's well known

that Kobe

would use these

feuds with bitter

rivals,

most famously

with Shaq,

Shaquille O'Neal,

to fuel him

at any costs.

It's no wonder

that Kobe was

one of the

greatest basketball

players of all

time,

with five NBA

championships,

right,

made a point

that one more

than Shaq,

18 all-star

nods,

and two Olympic

gold medals.

Kobe's work

ethic exemplifies

what has been

branded as his

Mamba mentality.

I don't know

if you guys

have ever heard

of that,

right?

This Mamba mentality,

which comes from

his nickname on

Cord.

It's featured on

motivational videos.

It's in books,

this idea

that relentless

hard work

will allow you

to achieve

your goals

above your

opponents.

It's a refusal

to settle

for anything

less than

perfection,

than excellence.

It's a commitment

to do better

every single day,

right?

This Mamba

mentality,

in a lot of

ways,

is this world's

gospel.

It's this world's

promise.

This world that is

capitalistic,

competitive,

everybody is just

seeking to gain

an upper edge

against everyone

else.

And so they say,

if I work hard

enough at something,

I will achieve

everything that I

want.

If I grind just a

little bit harder,

then success is just

behind that next

door.

But the preacher

in Ecclesiastes,

he splashes cold

water, right,

in the face of

all of this.

Because even if

you wake up

at 5 a.m.

before all your

opponents,

and you grind

yourself to the

bone,

you work as hard

as you theoretically

could,

and develop all

skill and achieve

all success,

the reality is that

time and death

come for us all.

All skill in the

world cannot slow

down death.

Even Kobe is a

tragic example of

this.

Given all his

hard work,

he should have

enjoyed the

longest,

happiest,

prosperous of

lives.

But he would

go on to die

in a tragic

helicopter accident

at the young age

of 41 with

eight others,

including his

young 13-year-old

daughter,

Gianna.

Kobe probably

worked harder

than every single

one of us,

but life isn't

fair in that

sense.

It's hevel.

It's a breath.

It's a striving

after wind.

Why should we

work then?

If death comes

for all,

it seems pointless,

then what's the

point of hard work?

But the preacher

doesn't agree with

that logic either.

It says,

no,

in verse five,

it says that

removing work and

toil altogether

isn't the right

solution either.

it says,

it's the fool

who folds his

hands and eats

his own flesh.

Following the

wisdom of many

proverbs,

the folding of

your hands,

right,

it's equivalent

to the gruesome

eating of your

own knuckles.

Laziness really

has no place

in a biblical,

wise way to

live.

Instead,

hard work is

meant to be

enjoyed as a

gift.

It's a means

of grace for

us to provide

for ourselves

and to be

generous with

others.

We should work

hard in life

to do better

every single

day,

to pursue

excellence,

but when a

mamba mentality

turns into an

orphan mentality,

which it so

often does,

right,

if we follow

in the footsteps

of Kobe,

who works

incredibly hard

just because we

don't trust God

to provide for

us,

we don't trust

in his steadfast

love for us,

we lose our

way.

You see,

the problem,

though,

is not with

hard work,

the problem is

with us.

Instead,

the preacher

shows us a

better way

in verse 6.

Again,

notice the

balanced wisdom

of Ecclesiastes.

Two folded

hands,

not holding

anything,

are lazy,

self-sabotaging,

self-destructive,

but two hands

full of toil.

It's not

better either.

It's striving

after wind,

a useless

endeavor,

but what's

better is

one open

hand,

full of

quietness,

and the other

presumably full

of hard work.

It's a

beautiful picture,

really,

of hard work

paired with

joyous

contentment,

and I love

that picture,

quietness,

rest,

serenity,

peace,

not always

feeling rushed

to go from

place A

to place B

and feeling

like you

don't have

enough time

in life.

but the reality

is if you

do have

one hand

full of

quietness,

not full

of toil,

you know

that you're

going to

fall behind

the rest

of your

competitors

and the rest

of this

world.

You're

essentially

trying to

fight a

boxing match

with one

hand tied

behind your

back.

Of course,

you're going

to lose

sometimes.

But this

is where

the Christian

witness

begins to

shine so

brightly,

so uniquely,

is can

you lose

and be

content?

Whoa,

this is

where really

the Christian

witness starts

to shine

amazingly

brightly.

Don Whitney,

professor at

Southern Seminary,

he asks,

can you

serve your

boss and

others at

work,

helping them

to succeed

and be

happy even

when they

are promoted

and you

are overlooked?

Can you

work to

make others

look good

without envy

filling your

heart?

Can you

minister to

the needs

of those

whom God

exalts

and men

honor when

you yourself

are neglected?

Can you

pray for the

ministry of

others when

it would

cast yours

into the

shadows?

We can

only do

this,

brothers and

sisters,

by fighting

off gospel

amnesia and

remembering again

and again

and again

that we

do have

a heavenly

father that

cares for

us,

that yearns

for us,

that delights

over us,

that Jesus

did not

leave us

as orphans

but we

do have

the full

acceptance

of our

hearts,

that our

hearts

yearn for

in Christ

alone.

We have

been blessed

with every

spiritual

blessing.

We are

married with

Christ.

All things

work out for

our good.

How rich

we are

in Christ.

What more

could we

possibly

want?

But we

observe in

our next

section someone

who doesn't

know the

richness of

God's love.

He opens

this new

section at

the beginning

of verse

seven.

The preacher

observes

another example

of Hevel

and striving

after wind

in this rich

lonely man.

He's in this

relentless pursuit

of money.

Never

satisfied with

how many

commas he

sees in his

net worth.

Never

satisfied with

how many

zeros he

sees in his

bank account.

So he

goes as

fast and

as hard

as possible.

Never

slowing down

wondering

for whom

am I doing

this for?

Why am I

struggling and

making myself

suffer so much?

For who?

You could

just imagine

this.

Every year

his house

is getting

bigger and

bigger and

bigger and

every year

he's getting

lonelier and

lonelier and

lonelier.

He's adding

acres of land,

beds and

bedrooms,

seats around

a dining

table, all

without a

single soul

to share

these things

with.

This man

is stupidly

rich and

stupidly

unhappy.

notice the

repeated word

one that's

going on

throughout this

next section.

It repeats

it over and

over.

This very

much could

have been

an indefinite

article like

a and,

a person or

that, the

a thing.

But one, he

uses the word

one to

emphasize the

person's

loneliness.

Because truly

one is the

loneliest

number.

once again,

the preacher

knows the

better way,

the way to

a better

life.

And that

life is in

healthy community

with others.

In fact,

God created

us to be

social and

relational

creatures.

You see,

in the garden,

when God

created Adam,

this is

remarkable.

I don't know

if you,

I didn't really

meditate on this,

but despite

the fact

that this

was a

perfect,

sinless

relationship

that Adam

had with

God before

the fall,

God still

calls him

alone.

He had a

perfect

relationship

with God,

but God

still calls

him alone.

And he

creates Eve

from his

rib and

gives her

to him to

enjoy the

blessing of

children through

her.

So it's

true that

our need

for others,

our need

for community

is not a

defect of

sin,

but it's

part of

our intended

design.

So

considering

this,

it's

absolutely

tragic

that this

man pursues

riches

and pleasures

and stuff

alone.

He's

less than

human.

That's not

his intended

design.

And he

doesn't have

son or

brother,

family or

friends to

enjoy any

of these

things with.

And those

are two

sources of

community that

I want to

talk briefly

about today.

So first,

family.

It's clear

that the

Bible is

pro-marriage,

pro-children

through and

through.

Marriage and

sex and

procreation,

they've always

been God's

ideas and

God's gifts

to man.

But the

world continues

to purport

that the

traditional

nuclear family

is regressive.

It's

backwards.

People don't

see the

point of

marriage anymore

other than

tax breaks.

They claim

that children

only get in

the way of

achieving your

dreams.

They're too

much money.

They're too

much time.

I can't have

children.

And so our

world prefers

to raise a

cute corgi

puppy instead

of raising

children.

A recent

USA Today

and One

Poll survey

found that

40% of

the people

that they

surveyed,

40% of

dog owners

found that

caring for

dogs are

easier,

cheaper,

and as a

result,

they chose

not to

have

children.

This is

not to

offend any

dog owners

today,

but that's

backwards.

backwards.

It's

backwards when

we consider

what God

has provided

for us as

joy and

human flourishing

as a

killjoy that

drains our

personal resources

that we

rather use for

our own

agendas,

our own

goals.

And I

know that I'm

yet to fully

experience

parenthood,

but from what

I hear from

more experienced

parents here at

church,

while children

do require

financial

investment,

don't get me

wrong,

but kids

don't have

to be

break-bankingly

expensive.

You don't

have to

plunge

yourself

into debt.

That's

not unless

you fall

into the

travel teen

trap,

where you

make sure

that your

kid has

every possible

resource to

be Beethoven

and Elon

Musk and

Simone Biles

all together

in one

super-mega

child.

This world

thinks that

good parenting

means that

he could

play world-class

violin and

compete on

math team

and play on

the Olympic

development

travel soccer

team.

Instead,

good,

faithful parenting,

according to

biblical wisdom,

is to teach

them to fear

God, and

that's free.

Even if

kids cost

money,

this is the

better way to

live.

That's what the

preacher is

saying.

It is far

better to be

a little bit

poorer with

children than

to be rich

alone.

It's far

better to

focus and

invest in

your marriage

than it is

to fast-track

your promotion

at work.

After all,

it's the fool

again who lives

alone in a

mansion that's

too big for

him.

So let's

shape the way

that we

prioritize our

family, view

the blessing of

family in

light of

scripture.

Do you need

to reorient

your value

systems and

your priorities

to match what

scripture teaches?

Is it time you

let go of your

idolized career

and salary to

experience a

far better life

in pursuing

marriage and

children?

But that's not

the only source

of community

that we need.

We know that

marriage and

family isn't

everything.

In fact,

Jesus himself

was marriage-less,

childless,

and he lived

a perfect

life.

We know that

getting married

is a great

blessing from

God, but

because of our

marriage with

Christ, it's

not a must for

God's people.

In fact,

Paul actually

says that it's

better, it's

better to remain

single and to

be fully devoted

to the Lord than

to have divided

attentions from

marriage and

children.

And so this

next passage in

verses 9 to

12 is one of

the most famous

passages in

Ecclesiastes, and

it's for good

reason, and it's

often read in

wedding ceremonies.

In fact, I think

Sean is prepping a

sermon right now on

this very passage to

preach at a wedding.

And marriage is a

great application for

this passage,

highlighting the

benefits of two

becoming one, a

husband-wife

becoming one.

But understand that

when we read a

passage like this,

when two are

better than one,

that marriage need

not be the only

application.

Another great

application for us

to think and

wrestle with is our

friendships.

Verses 9 to 12

sets a scene of

going on a long

journey in the

ancient Near East.

You know, back

then these weren't

happy-go-lucky,

easy road trips.

They were treacherous,

dangerous journeys.

Going on your own

could very much be

your own death

sentence.

Traveling in the

dark without

flashlights, very

easy to fall into

your pit, to your

peril.

Israel would have

been cold at night,

so men would travel

together and lay

their garments over

their bodies so that

they'd be able to

keep warm.

These journeys would

also be riddled with

bandits and thieves

that would beat you

up to a bloody pulp

and steal every last

thing on your body,

just like it happened

to the man in the

peril of the good

Samaritan.

So clearly, two is

better than one.

And even better, a

three-fold cord is not

quickly broken.

If you don't know

this already, our

very own Joshua

Henderson had just

recently returned from

a crazy long,

arduous, literally

cross-country pilgrimage

as he and two

friends, they hiked

over 3,000 miles

over 115 days.

That's just insane.

I hope that none of you

guys ever do this

ever again.

I hope you never do

this ever again.

They started from the

Mexican border in New

Mexico, and they went

all the way up to the

Canadian border in

Montana.

That, again, insane.

And much to my horror

and dismay, Josh, you

know, you told me that

all three of you had

near-death experiences

on this trip.

All right, this is from

Joshua.

For Daniel, it was

during a river crossing

where he nearly drowned.

Just why?

Why would you do this?

For Sung, it was a

ridgeline glassade where

he triggered an avalanche,

of course.

For me, it was

attempting an off-trail

descent in Montana where

I slid, almost slid off,

a 300-foot cliff that

was out of sight when I

began my slide.

One similarity across

all of these moments,

we were on our own when

they happened.

But when they were

together, they watched

their backs.

They supported each

other, encouraged one

another, helped each

other when others

needed help.

And through this, Josh

really has lived out

that a three-fold cord

is not quickly broken.

We, like the preacher,

know the great value of

having deep friendships,

right?

Life is as treacherous as

these journeys through

the middle of the night.

And some seasons are

especially harder than

others.

Maybe you're in that

really, really hard

season.

And what we need in

those moments, more

than anything, for

faithful friends to come

around us, to pray with

us, to lift up our

heads.

Jesus himself invested in

friendship in his life,

particularly with the

inner three disciples,

with Peter, John, and

James.

When Paul sensed that he was

at the end of his life as

he was writing the letter

2 Timothy, he wrote to

his friends when he was

weary, cold, discouraged,

friends like Timothy,

Priscilla, and Aquila, Luke,

and Mark, to come and

comfort him.

He writes twice at the end

of his letter, do your best

to come to me soon.

Do your best to come to me

soon.

Paul knew that he needed

people in his life to come

around him at the last hour

of his death.

We know the value, but some,

some of us, we struggle with

maintaining or keeping or

making deep friendships in

this season of life.

It feels like it's harder and

harder to keep and maintain

deep friends, is it not?

You know, we get busy with

other things, with good

things, but friendship often

hits the last of our

priorities.

Or we get stuck.

We get stuck on what an

ideal friendship, what an

ideal community would look

like.

Like Christine Hoover in

her book, Messy, Beautiful

Friendship, she confesses,

we want sugary, sweet, easy

cum community where we flit

into one another's homes

without knocking, laugh

deep into the nights, know

one another, and are known

without effort, and never

exchange a cross or a

challenging word.

We typically envision dinner

parties and game nights,

vacationing together and

talking on the phone every

single day.

Now, you guys know me as an

introvert.

I really hope that you don't

call me every single day, but

I too idolize and idolize

friendship to be this easy.

But Dietrich Bonhoeffer has

this great quote in his book

Life Together.

I'm going to read it twice so

that we can make sure we get

it.

The person who loves their

dream of community will

destroy community, but the

person who loves those around

them will create community.

Again, the person who loves

their dream of community will

destroy community, but the

person who loves those around

them will create community.

So in efforts not to love our

idealized versions of

friendships, but the actual

people in front of us, I

exhort you, if you are here

and you're not a member of a

Bible-preaching church, take

time to consider becoming a

member of a church.

Go to the membership class that

we just advertised so that you

can make your vow before God and

his people, that you will commit

yourself to this kind of deep

friendship.

If you are a member of this

church and you feel like you

don't have these kinds of deep

friendships, friend, resist the

easy temptation that comes to

blame other people.

It's because those people are so

weird.

Those people are so hard to love.

It's because they keep on

leaving.

Just like you can't choose your

own biological family members,

you can't choose your spiritual

family members.

Friends resist the temptation of

waiting for that perfect friend,

that one sugary, sweet, easy-cum

friendship, because it might not

come.

And sometimes just as those

friendships do come, they

instantly dissolve like cotton candy

on your tongue.

Instead, we ought to come to church

and to our friendships with an

attitude, a desire to serve and not

to be served.

Instead of pointing fingers at

others and their shortcomings as

friends, try being the friend that

you want to have.

Be countercultural and be faithful as

friends because this world, they drop

people at the drop of a dime the

second you say something mean, the

second you say something offensive.

But commit yourself.

Be faithful friends.

And over time, you will see the

power of a three-fold cord that is

not quickly broken.

Just as Paul depended on his friends

at the end of his life, whether you

are single, you're married, you have

kids, you don't have kids, we all need

friends to fight with us so that we can

finish this race and keep the faith.

That's the power of community.

Part of the advantages of community is

found in taking advice from those

around us, as we'll see in our final

section in this morning, in verses

13 to 16.

See, these verses can be kind of hard to

understand.

I don't know if you were confused when

we first read it because of the

ambiguous personal pronouns, right?

Like, who is he in verse 14 that went

from prison to the throne?

And who is the he who led all these

people in verse 16?

What majority of the commentators think,

and I agree with them, is that in this

scene there are only two characters, two

kings, both introduced in verse 13.

You have the old and foolish king who no

longer knows how to take advice, but then

you have the wise and poor youth.

It's this youth, then, who was born into

the poor house that ascends on his

meteoric rise to the White House.

So when you compare these two kings, the

preacher lays out clearly the better way

to live.

This is the third better way to live.

It's to listen to the advice of others.

It's better to be poor and teachable than

it is to be a rich, stubborn fool.

For it is the fool that needs to touch a

burning stove rather than to listen to

others to learn that it's hot.

So if you're going through a major

decision in life, the preacher is a

beckoning you, I know a better way.

Listen to the wise people around you.

We would do well to heed the advice of

others and resist the temptation to walk

to the beat of our own drum.

Don't let pride blind you to underestimate

your own ignorance.

Let's fight the natural urge to already

predetermine, pre-select what kind of

advice you choose to listen to and what

advice you choose to reject.

Another way to look at it is we must age well.

Often we simply assume that aging comes

naturally with wisdom, right?

But clearly the preacher thinks otherwise.

Instead, age can come with an ever so

subtle but dangerous and deadly hardening of

our hearts year after year.

And the king allowed this to happen.

He let his age harden his heart and mind.

Look at the text.

Look how it says he no longer.

He used to know.

He used to be able to take advice from

others.

But he aged poorly.

Ecclesiastes challenges us to make it our

goal to be humble, teachable old men and

women.

If you are young in your career, maybe you

don't have that much sway in your companies.

You don't have as much sway as the seasoned

directors or the professors that you report

to.

It's easier to listen, to be humble, because

that's what you're expected to do.

That's what you have to do.

But one day, a lot of you guys are young, but

one day you very well might be a director.

With associates to manage.

You might be a PI with students to lead.

You might be a grandparent with grandkids to

mentor.

Will you still be able to listen to advice

then?

We must prepare for the people that you want

to be 30 years, 50 years down the road, because

it's the seeds that are planted today that bear

fruit decades later.

And even though this is the better way to live, the

preacher observes a tragic ending for this young,

wiser king.

Despite his rags to riches story, despite his wisdom in

being able to listen to others, verses 15 to 16 teach us that

even him, even this wise youth over time loses popularity and

power until he is all alone with no one to delight in him.

For what reason, right?

He had a, he must have had a massive scandal.

He became proud.

He hated God.

Something, something.

But the preacher doesn't give a reason.

It's an enigma.

It's a paradox, a mystery.

There's no happy ever after ending for this king, but a

lonely, tragic ending with no one to delight in him.

See, the most powerful of us can't even escape the hevel of

life.

We've seen in our passage today that it is not good when man

is alone.

It's not part of our intended design.

To that end, the preacher has shown us three better ways to

live.

You know, better is a handful of quietness than the loneliness

of envy.

You know, better is the community that you live in to love the

actual people in your life than lonely greed.

Better is humility and heeding advice than arrogance and power.

Yet this passage ends to say that even if we do everything

right, we follow all the right steps, do everything right

according to biblical wisdom, we might still end up alone.

Life still is hevel, a striving after wind, a paradox, a

mystery.

So what hope do we have that we might ever be in good community

with others?

That hope can only be found in Jesus Christ alone, who can

sympathize with our loneliness.

Although he lived a perfect and sinless life, a life where people

should have been flocking towards him, to love him, to adore him, to

accept them as the light of the world.

Jesus was the loneliest person in all of human history.

Before the cross and the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus took the closest

three, his closest friends, his best friends.

Peter, James, and John.

And he confides in them something incredibly raw.

He says, my soul is very sorrowful, even to death.

Remain here and watch.

He asked them to pray with him.

It's a request and support in his greatest hour of trial.

But they would just keep on falling asleep.

Even worse, even as Jesus got arrested, they would flee to save their own

tales.

Can you imagine the loneliness Jesus experienced when he lived with,

invested in, loved on these close friends for three whole years,

only to then just see them instantly leave, instantly bounce the moment you

needed it most?

Far worse than the desertion of even the closest of his human friends was a

separation from his father on the cross.

On the cross where he hung in our place for our sins as a substitute for us.

He was despised and rejected by all men, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.

Yet, all of this couldn't compare to the separation that he experienced with the

father.

For all eternity, even before creation, the father perfectly loved the son.

No ill-time comment, no bitterness, no pride, no sin had ever fractured that

relationship for all eternity.

Can you imagine that until the cross where Jesus took on our heinous sins, the father

could only turn the other way?

He was cut off from sweet fellowship that had been his sole joy and his so precious

treasure throughout his life of hardship, of loneliness.

That's been the one thing.

But even at the cross, he lost it.

Yet still, as Charles Spurgeon said, Jesus Christ was up on that cross, nailing, bleeding,

dying, looking down on all the people, betraying him, forsaking him, denying him.

And in the greatest act of love in all of human history, he stayed.

He stayed, friends.

He stayed knowing that without his sacrifice, without him experiencing the greatest loneliness

of all of human history, we would have no hope.

We'd never have any hope to be able to overcome and escape the loneliness of this life, this life

of Hevel, this life of breath.

What a friend we have in Jesus.

What a friend we have in Jesus.

Do you know this friend?

Do you know the only one that sticks closer to you than a brother?

So, friends, fueled not by envy, insecurity, greed, or pride, but fueled by Jesus' faithful friendship

to sinners.

Let us create community.

Fight back the epidemic of loneliness in this church, in our city, in our workplaces, in our

families, for His glory and for our good.

Let's pray.

Father, we thank you.

Thank you for this amazing, faithful, devoted friendship that we have in Jesus.

That He is a faithful friend no matter what, no matter when other people abandon us.

We still have you.

And that kind of, that friendship, it doesn't take away the pain of loneliness from others

because we still need others, but it still gets underneath that pain.

And we thank you for that.

We thank you that Jesus is our faithful friend.

We pray, oh God, that that would fuel us to make friendships, to invest in others deeply,

deeply, committedly, faithfully, so that we'd be able to fight back loneliness in our lives

and in others.

And love as you have called us, oh God.

So help us for your glory and for our good.

In Jesus' name we pray, amen.