Cultivating Community through Intentional Inclusion

Thanks for having me.

You guys, I was gonna come up here and say I'm really excited to be here, like I always do, but then I found out just now that your Christmas party is next week and you did not invite me to come next week to the Christmas party.

Now I know.

Now I know, speaking of Christmas, it is only two weeks.

Two weeks till Christmas.

Anybody else panicking like I am?

Yeah, if you haven't found the perfect Christmas gift for that special someone, now is your time.

Now this is your warning.

So, if my bum of a husband is watching, you have two weeks.

You have two weeks to save, get saved and get me a present, but there might still be time to order something on Amazon.

It's getting iffy, though.

So is anybody done shopping yet?

Do we have any of those early you guys?

No, steven's done, megan is not.

I see how this works.

Well, some of us are really good gift givers.

Maybe you're a really good gift giver.

Maybe you know somebody that is Good gift givers.

They just like know, naturally, what everybody wants, and they're really good at it.

The rest of us just make sure that the gift receipt is included in the gift right, or we default to gift cards.

Who doesn't like a gift card?

Right, it can be really hard to find a perfect gift, but what if I told you that I can help you get the perfect gift for everybody?

Get somebody exactly what they want it's the gift of belonging.

Now, to start, if you want to give somebody a gift of belonging, invite them to the Christmas party.

Don't invite them the week before.

No, its, its, but no.

Invite them to that Christmas party, you know, bring them along.

We all want to belong.

That's in our nature, it's who we are, and we don't want to just fit in right, because fitting in can be like buying the right clothes, driving the right car, getting a house in the right neighborhood.

But we want to be seen.

We want to be known.

We want to feel valued and accepted, and not just the good parts of us, when we are really, when we really belong.

Even those quirky, weird parts and the difficult parts of us are included in that right.

We want acceptance of all of us.

Everybody feels that longing for connection and most of us are struggling to find it.

If we're honest, and the last couple of years I feel like we've been blaming the pandemic for this right.

The pandemic made us separate from people.

It made us not connect.

But let's be serious.

This has been a problem for a long time.

This did not start in 2020.

And I'm wondering if you guys have ever felt alone in a room full of people.

I know I have, and it's a horrible feeling.

It's a horrible feeling.

Like Steven said, I have two girls.

I was a single mom for 23 years, so I'm not a stranger to going places by myself.

I even have no problem going out to eat by myself.

It's just, you know, part of life, no problem, I'm an introvert.

It's fine.

But the first few weeks after my youngest went to college, I found myself feeling more alone than I had ever felt before.

And both of them are gone.

I go about my weekly routines and just like I did every other week, and all of a sudden I felt alone.

I was painfully aware of my loneliness and I was even going to church.

You know I'd be like nobody's sitting by me and it's not like nobody would.

I didn't invite anybody in, but it was just this very different feeling I feel.

I felt like nobody really saw me.

They didn't see the pain of having my kids grow up Like they're supposed to and move on, and they didn't know what was happening with me and I didn't share it.

But nobody asked.

You know, it was a very lonely experience.

I felt like it didn't belong anywhere.

So maybe you're here today and you feel alone.

If you're feeling alone, I would encourage you to just try to reach out to somebody, because somebody might be more than willing to listen.

But sometimes we don't know how to how to handle that.

Loneliness doesn't play favorites.

You don't have to be in a bad place to feel lonely.

It's something that any of us can experience.

Even those who seem to be really successful can be lonely.

Great achievements, fame it doesn't exclude us from loneliness.

You guys have heard of Albert Einstein.

Right, he's got that great hair.

I've always been a little jealous of that.

He wrote.

He wrote it is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

Can you even imagine Albert Einstein feeling lonely?

I mean, who doesn't want to sit down and have a cup of coffee with that guy and pick his brain?

I would love to, but here he is expressing he has times of loneliness and we're in the Christmas season which, with all of the gatherings and the gifts and the merriment it just has a very special way of bringing out loneliness, making it crystal clear.

It can happen in a crowded store, it can happen at the Christmas party next week.

Our longing for connection is more about just bodies being close to us.

Right.

It's about our need to know and be known.

It's about our need to love and be loved, and that is why Jesus came.

At Christmas we celebrate the wonder of God coming to live among us, of Jesus entering our world as an infant Jesus that came to be God with us.

Jesus came so that you and so that I could receive that gift of belonging and today I want to talk about that a little bit more sharing with the story of how Jesus turned one lonely woman's world completely upside down.

If you want to follow along, the story is found in John, chapter 4.

John 4 · chapter mention

And it begins with Jesus taking a road trip.

He and his guys are going from Jerusalem back to his hometown in Galilee and along the way he comes to this small town in Samaria and he's tired, and I'm sure that he's tired because the journey is taking a while.

He's walked 31 miles on foot and now it's noon, it's the middle of the day, it's hot, it's sweaty, but also, I'm pretty sure he's tired of his traveling companions.

Right?

Did you ever take a road trip when you were a kid?

And if you have siblings, maybe you brought a friend along.

Chances are pretty high that you have irritated all the adults in the car.

And maybe when you're thinking about that, you're thinking about your children or your nieces and nephews and how annoying they can be.

In a long car trip, there's just a point where you hit the limit.

Right, the adults hit a limit, can't do this anymore.

And I kind of picture Jesus doing this.

Right, he seems like he is looking for some peace and quiet because he arrives in this little town and he sends the disciples away.

You guys, go get some food, just go.

It's like the playland, right, go hang out in the playland, I'll be over here.

He said go get some food.

I'm going to sit here by this well, and I can almost, as I'm reading it, I can almost like hear him exhale they're gone.

You can feel his shoulders relax and then All of a sudden, this woman comes to draw water.

And Sometimes it's in these really inconvenient moments that God is trying to do something really big and we can miss it If we're not paying attention.

We can miss it if we're trying too hard to just go away.

I'm trying to relax here.

I just had these guys in my ear For 31 miles on foot.

I'm annoyed go away.

But that's not what Jesus does here In this moment.

Jesus is sitting at the well.

He's trying to get back to Galilee, he's trying to get a moment of peace and quiet.

And this is the time that the woman comes to the well.

And this is a weird situation anyway, not only because Jesus is hanging out there by himself, but normally the women from town they would all travel together to get the water, and she came during the hottest time of day, which just isn't smart.

It's the hardest time to complete this task.

So the fact that this woman comes at this weird time of day, the fact that she's by herself, it suggests that the other either the other woman in town didn't want to hang with her or she's really trying to avoid everybody else.

I imagine it's probably a little bit of both.

But let's picture what it would be like to live in this small town and be ostracized like this.

Right, everybody knows everybody.

Everybody's in everybody's business.

Did you see what Steven did over there?

Right, everybody knows Everything, all the details.

What would it have been like to be this woman, living in a town there where everybody knew everything about her?

She's surrounded by familiar faces, but she's alone.

How isolated she must have felt.

She tries to avoid the stairs and the rude comments.

And then she gets to the well and there's this weird guy sitting there.

What is he doing?

He asks her for a drink of water and she's like what is going on?

Because by even talking to her he's breaking all these cultural rules.

We might miss that if we don't know, but he's breaking all these rules by just talking to her.

The woman Her self is shocked and she responds.

And John 4 chapter, chapter 4, verse 9 how is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?

For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

Some versions even say that Jews and Samaritans don't share things or they don't share dishes.

There's a lot of hostility between these two groups, the Jewish people and the Samaritans.

So it's weird.

And then, culturally it's weird for a man to even acknowledge a woman being in their presence in public, let alone talk to her.

People could have and could have interpreted Jesus talking to her as him flirting with her, and you know that breaks all kinds of boundaries.

We don't do that.

We don't flirt with the enemy Right in public.

You're nuts.

But the conversation goes on and Jesus has insight into this woman's life, things that he shouldn't have already known.

He asks her to go get her husband and she tells him she doesn't have a husband.

And then Jesus is all I know You've had five and that guy you're with, not your husband.

Now there are different theories about what was happening here and why the woman was on man number six, but you know, it might have been a scandal, it might have been five unfortunate deaths in a row, might have been five murders, my might have been.

She just keeps Connecting with very wrong people.

We don't really know.

But either way, it probably explains why she's by herself at noon while the other women aren't walking with her to the well.

But Jesus sees her, he sees her and he knows her in a way that other people don't know her.

And and being seen, being known in this way, turns this woman's world completely upside down.

I so, if you're feeling alone this Christmas, you can know that we can celebrate.

We're going to celebrate the one who came as an infant to be God with us.

We're going to celebrate Jesus because he sees you today.

Today you are seen, the Jesus who came so that you and I could receive this gift of belonging.

He knows you in a way that no one else knows you.

He wants to turn your world upside down.

So look what happens next in this story.

In verses 28 and 29, say this.

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to town and said to the people come see a man who told me everything I ever did.

Could this be the Messiah?

So think about this for a minute.

She's there alone, during the worst time of day, to do two things Number one, she wants to get water and number two, avoid people.

That's clear here.

She leaves her water jug behind and she goes to share what she just found out about Jesus with people.

Odd, right, the very people she's been avoiding.

She's now seeking out and she tells them I met a man who really sees me.

He really knows me.

She feels love and she feels belonging and she wants to share this love and this belonging with other people, even people who have probably wronged her.

You guys listened to her in verses 39 through 41.

The people were listening to her and we can see that in verses 39 through 41.

It says many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony.

He told me everything I ever did.

So when the Samaritans came to him they urged him to stay with them and he stayed two days and because of his words many more became believers.

So Jesus spends two days in this town.

He's probably like the highlight of their year.

He's everybody's paying attention.

Everyone wants to hang out with him.

Everybody's trying to get close.

They want to know what he's going to say.

You know what else?

I see this formerly ostracized woman.

She's right there.

She's in the middle of all of it.

The people are telling her in verse 42, we no longer believe just because of what you said.

Now we have heard for ourselves and we know this man is really the savior of the world.

So here's this woman.

She's a social outcast who is utterly alone Every day.

She carried around these burdens.

She's carrying around the baggage of her past.

She made sure she went to the well when nobody else would be there.

No one else was there to shame or to stare, but now she gets to be the first person that carries the good news about Jesus to the Samaritan people and when they came to see Jesus for themselves, they join her.

They're declaring that he is the savior of the world.

They belong, they're included.

Her encounter with Jesus transforms her relationship with God and it transforms her relationship with the entire community.

Imagine how different things must have been for her after Jesus left.

Everything's changed no more isolation, no more lonely trips to the well Because of Jesus.

The one who was outcast now receives a gift of belonging.

Jesus offers that same gift to us today.

He made a way for us to live in right relationship with him and with each other.

Maybe you've been living a solo life.

Maybe you've been disconnected from God, or maybe you're connected to God but you're living disconnected from others.

Maybe it feels like the loneliness you feel will just always be there.

It's just part of who you are.

Maybe you feel misunderstood or misheard, but that doesn't have to be your story.

Jesus' gift of belonging is a gift of being seen and being known.

The gift of belonging is for you.

When you accept that gift, you become a part of community of other people like you that are learning to follow Jesus.

It's a community of people that are also being transformed who make up this group here at Madison Church.

Everybody is learning together and loving God and loving others.

This is how we find true connection.

There are a couple different ways that I'm aware of that.

You can do this even more here at Madison Church.

I'm sure there are more that I'm unaware of because I don't get to hang out here every week.

But one way that you can experience this belonging in this community is just coming here on Sundays.

You come here on Sunday morning and maybe you're coming in and you're leaving right away, and I can totally understand that.

Stephen talks for a really long time sometimes and by the time he finally stops, all you can think is I need to get lunch, I need to go finish grocery shopping, I need to clean the house, I need to prepare for the week.

Stop talking, stephen.

I'm busy.

I get it, I really do.

But what if you made it part of your plan on Sunday morning to just stay here 10 minutes longer?

You just lingered and talked to even just one person, got to know one person a little bit better?

Heck, what if you invited somebody to lunch?

That's?

I mean, if you're going to eat, you can invite someone to your house.

But if you're like me, you're like I don't want people in my house all the time, but maybe we can hit up the place, pick your favorite.

What if you have a game night?

You can have game night at your house.

There are like crazy games, trivia games and stuff all over town I know there are.

So what if, when somebody invites you, you actually accept, you don't come up with an excuse?

Maybe that's a key too.

But another way you can experience this gift of belonging is through small groups.

Stephen was talking about the one just a little bit earlier.

When people come together and they grow deeper in their faith.

There's just something about that where you can be real when you're in a smaller group like that, talking about what it means to follow Jesus, talking about your challenges, talk, share your struggles, but you get to share your joys too.

That's a place where you belong, the place where you can invite other people to come and belong.

You don't have to try to keep the circle as small as you can.

We can invite other people in and they can feel and experience that too.

Because at Christmas, we know that receiving gifts is a joy right, but there's something special about giving away the perfect gift.

I got this person exactly what they wanted.

And wouldn't you agree that it's easier to give gifts when you like and know that person, when you really love the person, when you're in community with that person?

Then you don't have to default to gift cards, unless you're me.

And that's exactly what happened here with the woman who met Jesus at the well.

Jesus saw her and he knew the story of her life.

He knew her struggles, he knew her joys, and she asked him big questions about faith.

And he responded giving her a gift greater than anything she ever anticipated.

She wasn't content to keep that gift to herself, though she could have.

She just was like bubbling with this joy, this excitement.

She returns to her village, she tells people about this encounter she has with Jesus, and she opened the door for other people to receive that gift of belonging.

They too could be seen by Jesus.

They too could receive these words.

Their worlds could be turned upside down.

The gift of belonging is for everyone.

It doesn't run out, it's for everyone and we have that opportunity to give that gift at Christmas.

Who in your life needs the gift of belonging?

I promise there's somebody.

It might be a neighbor, a friend, a coworker, someone who's spending the holidays alone this year, it might be that family member that you haven't talked to since the last election.

Just don't talk a little politics, or pull up the old sermons that Steven did on politics.

There's always that I mean.

At least you'll be talking.

But don't make this too complicated.

It doesn't have to be this big drawn out thing.

It can be a simple text, an invitation to dinner, simply just taking time to listen to somebody's story.

Together we can offer belonging to a lonely world and help people find their way to connect with God and to connect with each other.

Remember when the Samaritan woman returned to her people, she said come see a man who told me everything I did.

Could this be the Messiah?

So she said come see.

Come see, when the people in the woman's village encounter Jesus, their lives changed forever.

They no longer believed just because of what she said.

They believed because of their own experience with him, because of her testimony and her invitation to come and see.

The people in the woman's village had a life changing encounter with a savior of the world and we have that opportunity to introduce people to that savior.

Same savior, same Jesus.

The one who helps the lonely find belonging, the one who brings healing to the hurting, the one who brings hope, peace and joy Jesus, the savior of the world.

So make no mistake, there is someone in your life that needs that gift of belonging.

Will you invite them to come and see?

Maybe you are the one that needs the gift of belonging.

Will you accept the gift that's being offered?

Will you invite others to come and see this Christmas?

I hope that we let Jesus turn our world upside down this Christmas.

I hope that we share the gift of belonging.