How to Love Your Enemies

[SPEAKER_00]: First Wednesdays, we wanted to be about prayer for sure that we also wanted a teaching time, specifically about the home, about our own homes, our houses, places where we reside because we want those places to be a house of peace.

[SPEAKER_00]: a house of health because out of that then becomes strong churches, out of strong churches, becomes strong communities and so on.

[SPEAKER_00]: It all comes back to the family and all comes back to the marriage, you know, and all the things that go on in the home.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I have a topic tonight how to love your enemies, which might seem odd when we're talking about the home.

[SPEAKER_00]: And what I don't want to convey to you that marriage and family is terrible, something you ought to avoid if you want to fulfilling life, and I believe that for a minute.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love being married.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love being a father and now grandfather.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am the richest man in Rockford because of my family.

[SPEAKER_00]: I truly believe that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I get a bit annoyed of people who are trying to prepare a single folk for marriage and they describe it in such a dismal terms.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think yes, we want to prepare people for realistic marriages, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: But not to the place where they, oh, I don't want anything to do with the marriage because that's pretty much what we're fighting against right now in society.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want our church to be a great advertisement for marriages.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, single people should want to get married based upon what they see in this place.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if that's going to happen, we've got to help each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've got to just listen in on what God has for the home.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am here to tell you that I'm married to my best friend.

[SPEAKER_00]: And but she still happens to be a sinner, just like me.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know, go figure.

[SPEAKER_00]: And because of that, sometimes it might feel that your spouse is like an enemy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the closer people get to you, the more your insecurities come out.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when your insecurities come out, you're ready to fight.

[SPEAKER_00]: And almost like they're your enemy and they're not.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if we want peace in our homes, it is something to fight for, but it's not in the way you think you are to fight.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're fighting against your own fear of failure.

[SPEAKER_00]: your own fears out there, your own selfishness against your emotions that seem natural, you've got to pull them back to honor the Lord.

[SPEAKER_00]: You have to drop the rock that you want to throw and leave justice in the hands of the Lord again.

[SPEAKER_00]: And while you wait for change to occur in your spouse, you take responsibility for your own heart.

[SPEAKER_00]: your part.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's always a part that you are playing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you care anything about the glory of God, you care about your relationship with God, then you use that moment and be exposing that has happened in this war between your spouse or your siblings.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you use it to go before the Lord and say, God, make me a better person.

[SPEAKER_00]: Change me, Holy Spirit, change me, make me more like you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if we're going to have beautiful homes, we need different habits of love that's found in Christ.

[SPEAKER_00]: So turn to Luke chapter six.

[SPEAKER_00]: Luke chapter six, talking about loving our enemies.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he gives us some really good principles for our homes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Starting with verse 27, Luke chapter six verse 27,

[SPEAKER_00]: But I say to you, here, love your enemies.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you, to the one who strikes you on the cheek off of the other also.

[SPEAKER_00]: And from the one who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either.

[SPEAKER_00]: Give to everyone who begs from you, and the one who takes away your goods, do not demand them back.

[SPEAKER_00]: And as you wish others would do to you,

[SPEAKER_00]: Do so to them.

[SPEAKER_00]: For if you love those who love you what benefit is that to you for even sinners love those who love them And if you do good to those who do good to you what benefit is that to you even sinners do the same and if you lend to those who whom you expect to receive What credit is that to you even sinners lend the sinners to get back the same amount, but love your enemies

[SPEAKER_00]: and do good and land expecting nothing in return, your steward and your reward will be great and you will be sons of the most high for he is kind to ungrateful and the evil.

[SPEAKER_00]: Be merciful even as your father is merciful.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we are to love our enemies.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are commanded not to avenge ourselves because that is up to God.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're supposed to let that go.

[SPEAKER_00]: or what is she like.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's usually someone who snubs you, makes jabs at you, at your imperfections, mock your inability or abilities, who looks for any way to embarrass you and sadly sometimes that's in your own home.

[SPEAKER_00]: What does that mean to love them then?

[SPEAKER_00]: and the word here in the Greek is, and you've heard this before, it's Agapapa, or Agape, which is a love of commitment.

[SPEAKER_00]: We know the love of feelings and emotions that's for let, oh, we like somebody as the love of,

[SPEAKER_00]: affectionate love, we know eras, to be romantic and sexual desire, but Agapau is a commitment.

[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus is not asking us to have warm feelings for our enemies, so think about your sister or brother.

[SPEAKER_00]: You might not have warm feelings all the time for them, but there needs to be an undying commitment for their good.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what's being asked for.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, family love should be more than a commitment, but certainly not less.

[SPEAKER_00]: And in the real world of relationships, you toggle back from commitment to strong affection.

[SPEAKER_00]: Commitment stays, but affection can go up and down.

[SPEAKER_00]: and we're working that our affections would be in line with our commitments, but that commitment to love is always there, that commitment never varies.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, how we to love our enemies, it says right here in verse 7, 27, do good, do good to those hating you.

[SPEAKER_00]: do good to those who are hating you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now it's not entirely accurate to say that they hate you, but that's our perception, isn't it?

[SPEAKER_00]: Probably they're not thinking about you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Probably they're not thinking about their actions as in back those terminologies.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're thinking of it that way because you've been offended.

[SPEAKER_00]: And there are very few people who are that obsessed with you that they're really hating you.

[SPEAKER_00]: So pull it back a little bit.

[SPEAKER_00]: But even if they actually do hate you, you are to do good to them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Actions that benefit them.

[SPEAKER_00]: Think about your actions in the home.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you do things that benefit people in your home?

[SPEAKER_00]: If you want an illustration, think about David Tortz's fall, Saul.

[SPEAKER_00]: So David did only good and benefited Saul.

[SPEAKER_00]: He defeated the enemies that Saul had.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was a loyal man of God.

[SPEAKER_00]: But somehow, in his insecurity, he got jealous.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then he wanted David dead.

[SPEAKER_00]: Chase them all over the countryside.

[SPEAKER_00]: David had to live like a wild animal underneath the stars and caves, anywhere to find protection.

[SPEAKER_00]: says in 1st, Sam of 24, Saul actually ended up in the same cave that David was hiding.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he had the opportunity to harm Saul, put him to death and this old thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And all the trouble in the turmoil in your life, you're already anointed to be the next king, just end it all, David wouldn't do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: He was doing good to his enemy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when Saul exited, David also exited and said, and got the attention of Saul and the army.

[SPEAKER_00]: And basically conveyed, listen, I am not against you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I had the opportunity, I'm not against you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when he said that, for Samuel 24, 16, as soon as David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, is this your voice?

[SPEAKER_00]: My son David and saw lifted up his voice and wept.

[SPEAKER_00]: It on did him, it blew Saul's mind that someone would be that beneficial good to him and he went to tears, like who does that, who actually benefits their enemies?

[SPEAKER_00]: Just understand the power of that action, in your home, when you do good to those who haven't done well to you, the power that is in the home for good,

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't know all the things that are going on in your spouse's heart.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't know all the things that your sibling is going through.

[SPEAKER_00]: But words that benefit them, the Holy Spirit can use.

[SPEAKER_00]: in eternal ways, you just keep loving like God and believe in the power of the Holy Spirit do good.

[SPEAKER_00]: Number two, bless those who curse you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Bless, bless is speaking well of your enemies.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it means.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're speaking well.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are to speak well of those who cut us down ridicule us and embarrass us.

[SPEAKER_00]: And again, if that's in your home, you're to speak well of your spouse,

[SPEAKER_00]: among your guy friends and among your girl friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: You should not be publicly running your spouse down and talking behind their back.

[SPEAKER_00]: Find ways to build them up even in front of their friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you wanna build your home, talk up your spouse in front of others.

[SPEAKER_00]: that just does so much for building into the relationship, tearing your house, if you talk down, you're tearing down your home brick by brick.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's just what you're doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're breaking the trust that you're trying to build.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it is a precarious situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Men in particular, women are to submit to your authority, they're trying to honor you.

[SPEAKER_00]: But in your insecurity,

[SPEAKER_00]: seal them up and don't let them have some trusted friend that they can open up to.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's a very dark path that you're taking them down.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because if it's really difficult to live with you, sometimes you're not a paradise to be around.

[SPEAKER_00]: They need someone who's mature enough to pray with them and to talk about.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you seal them up in secrecy, you're asking for trouble.

[SPEAKER_00]: You need to be a big enough person to allow them to have somebody.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll just leave that out there.

[SPEAKER_00]: but love means overall means a commitment to have you you're blessing each other verbally and it may start with just having conversations that are beneficial.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some homes have none of that.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're just talking only when you need to about the calendar or spending you need to you need to be building

[SPEAKER_00]: You have to have conversations instead of snarky comments in passing.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm talking about, because that's what passive aggressive people do.

[SPEAKER_00]: Passive aggressive means that they are too cowardly to initiate a decent conversation out of love.

[SPEAKER_00]: They want to correct you, but they're too afraid.

[SPEAKER_00]: So they'll make snippy and spicy comments in passing, instead of, hey, can we have a conversation about?

[SPEAKER_00]: And be able to be strong enough to end up having good conversations.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because when you do the snarky thing, you're wanting the other person to do the hard work of initiating and drawing,

[SPEAKER_00]: the person out.

[SPEAKER_00]: How about both of you stop acting like children and actually talk to each other?

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it would benefit the home.

[SPEAKER_00]: Especially mom and dad, because you're at the center of the relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you can have good, healthy conversations and your kids see it, you are building into the next generation as well.

[SPEAKER_00]: And just, again, imagine the shock when you start speaking well of one another, supporting each other, encouraging one another, advocating for each other when you can, okay?

[SPEAKER_00]: That kind of love can only be explained by the supernatural.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it also can soften hard hearts.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're discouraged by your spouse or by your sibling,

[SPEAKER_00]: When you speak well of them, even though you don't get anything in return, you are softening the heart.

[SPEAKER_00]: And, again, allowing the Holy Spirit to play a significant role in that, pray for those who mislead you, pray your praying.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why won't you pray for the situation in your house?

[SPEAKER_00]: Why won't you, do you think you're going to change it by a clever response or an argument or by force?

[SPEAKER_00]: You won't.

[SPEAKER_00]: You'll galvanize each and their positions, but you're praying, pray for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to remain angry when you're praying for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: You think of Jesus on the cross, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Father, forgive them.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's praying for them.

[SPEAKER_00]: His praying for his enemies, and Stephen, when he's getting stoned, he says, Father, Lord, do not hold the sin against them.

[SPEAKER_00]: He's praying for his enemies.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when I've been crucified, we're not being stoned, so I think we can be big enough to pray for those who are in our home that are acting adversarial toward us.

[SPEAKER_00]: I would encourage that, do you pray with a sibling, advert, and if not, why not?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because your family, listen to me, your family is going to be with you to the end of your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't get rid of them.

[SPEAKER_00]: They are blood.

[SPEAKER_00]: And, um,

[SPEAKER_00]: You ought to believe in prayer that God can move mountains.

[SPEAKER_00]: Things that you see think are impossible.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because again, you're around these people.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, they're always like this and you get in positions where you feel like it's impossible.

[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's not impossible.

[SPEAKER_00]: Pray.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because we have a God who says, you could say that mountain and be removed into the heart of the sea and if you believe God will do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's talking about those impossible prayers.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's our praying for your family.

[SPEAKER_00]: Calm the fighter.

[SPEAKER_00]: Calm the fighter, verse 29.

[SPEAKER_00]: It says, to the one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also and from the one who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, so how do we supposed to understand this?

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think it means

[SPEAKER_00]: And also, let me just say this, if you're being physically abused at home, well, let's just say sexually abused at home, call the cops, let us know.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we want to assist you because governments are in place by God to protect us and to punish the wicked.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if men, you're a part of that, repent quick.

[SPEAKER_00]: Other than that, though, Christ wants His followers to be patient, long-suffering, kind, never vengeful, why?

[SPEAKER_00]: That's how Jesus lived.

[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, first Peter II, 24, it says, though he was reviled, he didn't revile and return, that he kept entrusting himself to the one who judges justly.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna leave that to my father.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna leave that to my father.

[SPEAKER_00]: He has asked me to be this loving, so he,

[SPEAKER_00]: kept being patient and long-suffering.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the reason why we fight back is because we don't want to be disrespected.

[SPEAKER_00]: But when we get into those situations, it often escalates, doesn't it?

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like when we get angry as well and we don't calm the fighter, we just add to us like gas on the fire.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because nothing is going to be, nothing good is going to be said when everyone's angry.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have bullet holes in the back of your spouse or sibling when you're angry.

[SPEAKER_00]: You need to calm the situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: So for God's sake, shut your mouth.

[SPEAKER_00]: Have self-control, because the greatest sin in that moment is not a sin against you, it's a sin against God.

[SPEAKER_00]: Get out of the way.

[SPEAKER_00]: Get out of the way.

[SPEAKER_00]: And whatever you have to do, remove yourself from the situation, till things calm down, and then you can address the situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you don't, you're going to unravel the trust between you, you're going to be tattered by bullet holes in each other, rocks are going to fly.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to be anything good.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're bringing your tearing down your home, brick, by brick.

[SPEAKER_00]: Surely you can tell when the words are not going to help.

[SPEAKER_00]: When words are not going to help, back up.

[SPEAKER_00]: be quiet, Proverbs 151, a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word, stirs up anchor, right, number five, give to the taker, your enemies can be takers, no one likes a taker, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what says, verse 29 and 30.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, about the cloak, do you not withhold.

[SPEAKER_00]: Give to everyone who begs from you and from the one who takes away your goods that you like.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do not demand them back.

[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like when someone expects something of me, worse, takes it from me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Obviously, it's human nature to keep score and try to get back.

[SPEAKER_00]: We expect our relationships to be completely even if I'm giving this, you're giving this equally.

[SPEAKER_00]: but what I found to be true in most relationships, each one thinks they're giving more than the other.

[SPEAKER_00]: You've heard me say that.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're always thinking like, man, they're not giving nothing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm giving everything in this relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I guarantee they're thinking the same thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the only the Lord knows.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so we have to be just giving stop, keeping score.

[SPEAKER_00]: They cannot take anything of value from us.

[SPEAKER_00]: So letting it go, we'll prove that Christ is the most valuable thing to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can keep going, you can keep giving.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then, sixth is my last point.

[SPEAKER_00]: Respond to your enemy by leading.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the golden rule one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do one to others, what you would have them do to you?

[SPEAKER_00]: do unto others, what they're not doing to you, but you do it first.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you are leading in this whole thing.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're the one leading.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do it first.

[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait until they do it to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, when that transform merges and homes, we're not waiting for each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing it because we love the Lord.

[SPEAKER_00]: And, and you

[SPEAKER_00]: That means serving my wife is awesome at this.

[SPEAKER_00]: She serves, insurers, insurers, insurers, and it has blessed our home.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, our kids are different kids because of that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then she's modeled that to our kids.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so they're giving and making meals and helping other people.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean,

[SPEAKER_00]: I love that about my wife.

[SPEAKER_00]: So serving, giving, forgiving, encouraging.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're leading in all of that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Be the first to let go of something that you're mad about.

[SPEAKER_00]: Be the first to, I release that debt.

[SPEAKER_00]: The Christian leads and doesn't keep score.

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a scorekeeper?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you one of those?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are you a score keeper and if God is supplying, you're never going to be at a deficit, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: He's keeping, he's pouring back into you, you're never going to be at a deficit, but if God, and you don't need to keep score, lead the way, show the world around what love is, overflow with generous love.

[SPEAKER_00]: And here's why, because it shows off the glory of God, this is the bedrock motivation for everything we do, because when we're not getting anything in return, we still do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why?

[SPEAKER_00]: because the glorifies our Lord, and we want to worship Him, and the greater the sacrifice, the greater the worship and glory.

[SPEAKER_00]: When it cost us, I just think of what David said.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why would I give to you, Lord?

[SPEAKER_00]: That would cost me nothing.

[SPEAKER_00]: So when it costs a lot, and you give anyway high praise to God.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when you are so angry with your sister, and you don't know what to do, but you're going to then, you know, do good.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to be kind.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to say things that are right.

[SPEAKER_00]: All of that is a worship to the Lord.

[SPEAKER_00]: because you're doing it for the Lord.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the ultimate reason.

[SPEAKER_00]: It honors a Lord.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it's just like you're heavenly Father.

[SPEAKER_00]: Look at verse 35 and we'll close with this.

[SPEAKER_00]: But love your enemy, do good and land expecting nothing in return and your reward will be great.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you will be sons of the most high for He as kind to ungrateful, to the ungrateful and the evil.

[SPEAKER_00]: Word to do this to our enemies because God is that way to us.

[SPEAKER_00]: And everybody on earth, be merciful even as your father is merciful.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we could say, man, I don't know if I have the strength to do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, Philippians 419, and my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches, in glory, in Christ Jesus.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are unified with Christ by faith, you now have his life.

[SPEAKER_00]: You have its Holy Spirit, you are empowered.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not in your own flesh.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's out of devotion.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're not earning your way to heaven, you are.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's just out of thankfulness and gratitude to God.

[SPEAKER_00]: And all of this benefit, your home.

[SPEAKER_00]: It just blesses our church, too.

[SPEAKER_00]: It splashes onto the church.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a blessing that everyone, when you're pouring in at the individual level, family level, it splashes onto the church.

[SPEAKER_00]: May God give us, I know he does, he's going to give you everything that you need according to his riches.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we're gonna head into prayer, okay?