Questioning our Limits Part 2

So we're in a series called Ask the

rabbi.

And what we're doing is we're going through,

like, for the month of June and July

going through the gospel

and looking at different questions

that were asked of Jesus.

And then we wanna find the context,

we wanna see how Jesus responds

And we wanna see who asked the question?

And and why

did they ask the question?

And it's been it's been really good. Like,

for me as teacher. I know I... I've

grown and and more in my understanding. My

daughter chandler and I are doing a bible

reading summer plan together. And so just really

stand focused in the word and a lot

in the the gospel pulls and getting to

know Jesus better. But

Today is a follow up to last week.

If you were here last week, we did

a message called questioning

our limits.

And the question to Jesus was from the

ph,

why do you eat with tax collectors and

sinner? Why do you receive sinner?

And we looked at that how the ph

sees put limits on the grace of God.

They put limits on the love of God,

who did who could god love.

Well, this week,

that that was kind of the vertical look

at at at limits. This week, we're gonna

look at horizontal.

Do we put limits on who we will

forgive

and and how will we would forgive or

hold on to things?

So today's question comes from

the apostle Peter to Jesus.

And I think when he questions Jesus, he's

He... This is a sincere question

from Peter.

He wasn't trying to trick Jesus like a

lot of other people were.

Then Peter came up and he said to

him, Lord,

how many times

shall my brother sit against me and I

still forgive him.

Up to 7 times.

Jesus said to him, I do not say

up to 7 times, but up to 70

times 7. Pause real quick.

Jesus isn't saying on the 490

first time you can forgive.

He... It's a Jewish eu. He's being facet

exaggerating on purpose

that forgiveness is always the thing to do

when somebody

offend you.

He says, for this reason, the kingdom of

heaven is like a king who wanted to

settle accounts with his servants.

And when he had begun to settle them,

1 owed him 10000

talents.

Some scholars believe that was about 12000000 dollars

in today's currency.

And he was brought to him. But since

he did not have the means to repay,

12000000 dollars a lot of money, His master

commanded that he be sold along with his

wife and children

and all that he had in repayment be

made. In those days, if you

you know, gathered up a bunch of debt.

You didn't couldn't file chapter 11. You couldn't

file bankruptcy.

You had to pay it off. And the

husband would go to to prison and the

rest of the family would go into slavery

until those debts were paid off.

So he fell to the ground and pros

himself before him saying, have patience with me,

and I will repay you everything.

And the master

of that slave felt compassion,

and he released him and he forgave him

the debt.

But that slave went out and found 1

of his fellow

slaves who owed him a hundred hundred Den,

about 17 dollars.

12000017

dollars.

And he seized him and he began to

choke him saying, payback what you owe.

So this fell slave fell to the ground,

and he began to plead with him saying,

have patience with me,

and I will repay you. But he was

unwilling.

And he went and threw him in a

prison until he would pay back what was

owed.

So when his fellow slaves saw what had

happened.

They were deeply grieve and came and reported

to their master, all that had happened.

Then summon him, his master said to him,

you wicked slave.

I forgave you all that debt because you

pleaded with me.

Should you not also have had mercy on

your fellow slave?

In the same way that I had mercy

on you?

And his master moved with anger handed him

over to the torture until he would repay

all that was owed him.

My heavenly father will also do the same

to you if each of you does not

forgive his brother from your heart.

That's pretty intense.

Pretty intense story

in what Jesus is trying to convey

to the disciples and to us

Forgiving someone

is leaving the judgment

to the 1 who can rightly judge.

Why we don't get to judge. We don't

have all the facts. We don't know all

that's going on, but he does. He knows

and and sees everything.

It takes grace to forgive.

Some of you have been hurt deeply by

people.

It takes grace to forgive. Grace is the

power to do what you could never do

on your own. That's what Grace is.

C Lewis said,

to be a christian means to forgive the

in

because God has forgiven the in excuse in

you,

powerful words.

In 2015,

I was reading an article.

About a

woman who was murdered in cold blood in

her home.

People broke into her home. She was pregnant

at the time and had had a kid,

someone broke into her home to rob her,

and they ended up killing her.

Well, her husband was a pastor at And

a pastor of a church, lot like ovation

had just planted a church outside of Indianapolis.

And

when they interviewed him

about what had happened to his wife an

un born child.

His only response was

I'm gonna try every day to forgive

her killers.

There another story I saw

about a guy who was a a serial

killer.

He had killed 48 women.

And when they were sentencing him,

the each family member of the 48 people,

whom he murdered

got to say something to him.

And

everybody was like, I hope you rotten and

hell you evil blah blah blah.

And there was this 1 guy.

And he didn't say things like that. He

said, what he did

was so wrong and it was evil. He

said, but I follow Jesus,

and he tells me I have to forgive

you,

and I forgive you.

And the whole time all these other people

were... Telling him I hope you rotten in

hell,

he's he's just very stoic in his look.

But but once that guy said I forgive

you, or he began to ball, like a

little baby,

the power of forgiveness, the power of forgiving

those who wrong us.

Now,

most of us will not have to

forgive something that intense. That's very

dream. The question is, if those people can

forgive

that kind of sin against them,

why do we struggle so much with little

petty things?

And and irritation and resentment that builds and

builds and builds.

Each 1 of us have been hurt by

people.

We've been hurt. You look back on your

life. Someone has hurt you. Maybe you're in

the middle of a hurt right now. And

though that pain has actually shaped your life.

But maybe more importantly,

how you respond

to those offenses and pain is shaping you.

Even in a deeper way, either for for

for better

or for worse.

So why must we forgive others?

Because in this parable,

seems to me that forgiving 1 another?

Is very important to Jesus that we learn

to forgive as he's

forgiven.

Think the first thing is this. Why must

we forgive others? Because God expects me to

do for others as he's done for me?

He expects us to forgive as we've been

forgiven.

Forgiveness is paying a debt you didn't know.

That guy, the master paid off this guy's

debt.

When you forgive somebody, you pay a debt

that you didn't owe. That's exactly what God

did for us.

Romans 06:23

Romans 6:23

for the wages

of sin is death. What we earn or

the debt we earn by sin is death,

but the gift of God is eternal life

in Christ.

God forgave us of our debt and gave

us eternal life.

In that story, and the master of that

slave felt compassion,

and he released him, and he forgave him

the debt.

God has compassion on us sinner.

He had so much compassion

that he sent as 1 an only son.

To come for us and to rescue us

from our debt. The apostle Paul wrote the

church

in. He said don't be angry with each

other.

But forgive each other.

If you feel someone has wrong you, forgive

them,

forgive others because the Lord forgave you.

I mean, no forgiving is not an easy

thing to do. It's not.

But we become like God when we forgive.

As we extend forgiveness.

When we realize how much we've been

forgiven ourselves, the only right

response is to extend grace and forgiveness to

others.

And I... I've learned this over the years.

You know this to be true. Sometimes

Most of the time, we have higher

expectations for others than we do ourselves. Is

that not true?

When we blow it or we fail. It's

like, hey, forgive me. I'm so sorry. Extend

me some grace.

But then when somebody wrongs us,

We find it hard to extend that same

kind of grace. But you don't know what

they did to me. You don't know how

much pain they cause, and we... We play

this little game of having higher

expectations for others than ourselves. We need to

flip that.

Let's have higher

expectations of ourselves and maybe less. In and

how we're... We see

in others. Second reason we must forgive is

because it's evidence that I've received forgiveness

I think that's part of Jesus point here.

If you take a notes, write this down.

Forgiven people

forgive people.

Forgiven people,

forgive people.

If you're not willing to forgive then have

you received the forgiveness of the father?

I think that's the point.

He said should you not also have had

mercy on your fellow slave in the same

way that I had mercy on you?

And his master mood with anger handed him

over to the torture until he should repay

all that was owed him.

Unforgiveness is a prison.

It's a prison cell that we put ourselves

in when we choose not to forgive.

As we've been forgiven.

Unforgiveness torture us.

When you're holding a grudge resentment

over somebody.

It's it's only hurting you. It's not hurting

them. They might not even know you're mad

out. I'm in in

unforgiving towards them.

But forgiving

to to forgive is that key that we

have in our own prison cell that we

just can unlock it. As soon as we

say, Lord, I release them. Lord, I forgive

that person.

I'm not gonna hold this to them.

We see that example in Jesus.

Forgiving

someone will cost you.

It will cost you.

But not forgiving

will cost you your heart.

Forgiving is gonna cost

gonna take

humble

humble and grace,

but not forgiving. Will cost you you your

heart. I think that's what Jesus is point.

Here is to Peter and to us.

Jesus is saying that that if you can't

forgive others

you can't receive the father's forgiveness.

And the problems not with God,

God did everything in Christ in initiating

forgiveness and salvation for us.

Problems not with God, the problems with me

in you,

Romans 5 8 for God demonstrated his love

for us, what while we were still sinner

Christ died for us. He initiated everything.

He initiated

reconciliation.

And as we see in second Corinthians 5,

that god was in The father was in

in the son,

reconciling the world to himself, not counting

men's sins against them. Ace So from his

perspective, he's good.

But if we're not willing to forgive others,

have we

received that forgiveness?

Thirdly, why must we forgive? Well,

because unforgiveness makes you miserable.

Right?

It makes us miserable.

People who are holding a grudge are are

miserable on the inside.

Emotionally, their soul is just bound up.

With unforgiveness. Again, it's a prison,

unforgiveness is a prison.

And here's here's the beauty

If you believe that god's commands

are for your good,

that if he says to do something or

not to do some,

he has your best interest at heart.

And so if he commands us to forgive,

it's because it's for our own good.

Resentment

is

something that

is like a cousin to unforgiveness. When you

begin to resent somebody.

Happens in marriage all the time and friendships,

and the illustration came to to my mind

yesterday that resentment is like,

when you don't deal with your spouse, for

those of you that are married. If you

don't deal with wrongs that you do towards

each other. There's not a coming together, hey

I apologize.

I own that. Will you forgive me?

Yes, I forgive you. If that act does

not take place from the heart, then it's

like just putting a brick

between you and your spouse.

And at first,

1 little brick doesn't seem like a whole

lot.

But as the years go by,

brick brick brick brick brick brick brick, you

can't see each other anymore. You can't hear

each other anymore.

Resentment has made its way

into the relationship. Hebrews 12:15

Hebrews 12:15

says, see to it that no 1 falls

short of the grace of god god and

that no bitter root grows up to cause

trouble and def file

many.

The soil of a bitter heart is an

unforgiving heart.

And then a bitter root goes into

our

hearts,

bitterness kills marriages,

friendships, families,

sometimes even churches

that divide over some sort of bitterness and

resentment and can't get over

an issue with forgiveness.

So unforgiveness, bitterness needs to be d rooted.

And those of you that that have a

a lawn, like that you have to take

care of on a

weekly basis, water, etcetera.

Now if your lawn has dan lyon, and

you see those little yellow flowers or you

see some weeds.

When you take your lawn mower and you

go and mow the lawn,

those little yellow flowers are gone. And it's

like, oh, I don't see those anymore.

But that root didn't come out because what

happens 2 days later, boop, they come back

up again. You have to get some chemicals

or actual physically get down and d root

that weed.

It takes work to do that. When it

comes into a relationship that is that has

now a bitter root. In the heart... You

have to do the hard work.

You have to do the hard work to

get

the weed

of resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness out of

your heart.

You gotta go to Jesus.

And you gotta look to the cross. You

gotta look to what he's done and who

he is

and get that thing out of your heart

before it def files many.

Like the scripture said.

So let's talk a minute about what forgiving

others does not mean.

Because right now you're thinking

let's see talking about here.

You kidding me.

I'm supposed to forgive that.

I can't forget that. I still feel mad

at that person.

Okay? Well, feel forgiveness is not a feeling.

For sure and forgiveness as we're gonna see

is not forgetting.

But forgiveness, first of all, is not pretending.

When you you pretend that everything's okay when

your heart is still a mess towards each

other or towards somebody.

Forgiveness is what is required when there's no

good

explanation for what's gone on for what's happened.

Think about Jesus on the cross.

They're humiliating him, abusing him. He's been nailed

to a piece of wood,

and what was his response to that?

Father forgive them for they know not what

they do.

He went through our worst nightmares and his

response

was father forgive them. They don't know what

they're doing.

He didn't pretend

that something bad wasn't happening to him.

He wasn't pretending

And and sometimes we pretend in relationships, and

we we

excuse people's

bad behavior. We give them a pass.

That's not forgiveness.

That that's

toxic

relationships.

To forgive is not to be a door

at or anything like that. No, There's boundaries

in relationships. But forgiveness is the

the

the 1

antidote to all the bad problems that end

up happening in most relationships.

Forgiving is not forgetting.

Forgetting this side of eternity might not be

a reality.

For what hurt you and who hurt you.

It might not be a reality.

Now,

scripture teaches us that God has forgot our

sins.

As far as the east is from the

west,

he's taken our trans from us.

Now,

God, the reason God can forget our sins

and hear me on this

is our sin has become irrelevant to him.

Go read Romans 8 3.

What Jesus did in his flesh on the

cross is he did away with sin. It's

what the apostle Paul says.

Doesn't mean we can go on and sin

and behave. However we want to. That's not

the point.

But to god, the father, he sees us

He sees us clean. He sees us pure

because of what Jesus

did

for us.

Forgiveness is what's required when we can't forget.

That's important. And it's not a feeling.

If you try to conjure up a feeling

of forgiveness that might be impossible.

And then lastly on this,

forgiving is not the same as

reconciliation. It's not.

Reconciliation is when 2 people that were dis

disoriented, come back together,

There's apologies.

There's I'm sorry. I forgive you, and there's

a a

reconciliation that's happened. That's not always possible.

The person you need to forgive might have

already passed on to into eternity.

But you still can make a choice in

your heart to forgive but

reconciliation. It's not always possible. I had a

situation where someone had hurt me pretty bad.

And

a couple years went by, and I had

prayed and said Lord, I forgive this person

from my heart. I'd truly know knew from

my vantage point I had forgiven.

And

it was kinda up to this other person

if we were gonna have

reconciliation or not,

by their posture and their stance. But I

prayed a lot. Lord, I pray before I

die.

There could be reconciliation with this person.

Kept prayed that for 2 years. And

finally, I gotta

a note from this person said, hey,

I wanna reconcile.

And we met together.

We hugged

hugged it out, talked it out and have

been reconciled ever since.

So it's important. For... But it starts with

this willingness to forgive

when there's a difficult

relationships, both people have to say, I'm willing

to forgive.

The 1 who says no I'm holding on

to this.

They're gonna become the miserable person that gets

that bitter root.

So how do we forgive? This is important.

How do we forgive?

The first thing is if you've been offended,

hurt, release it to God.

Release it to God.

How do you do that?

Well,

when I look at this cross,

I think of

what the lord did

for you and me.

And I'm so thankful

I'm so thankful that my son was nailed

to the cross,

and it's become irrelevant

to the father.

So how do I release

the offense of others to the lord?

I take it to this same cross.

The same place where I am so joyful

glad where my son

is was nailed.

I say Lord.

You died for their sin.

You died for their offense to me.

And that's how you begin to release it.

The other way to release

people and and the the offense to God

is to pray for people.

Jesus said pray for those who per. You

bless your enemies.

Praying for the person that that has offended

you.

Past or present or future,

is

if you can pray blessings over that person's

life,

you can know you've forgiven them.

If you choose not, I can't pray for

them. You haven't forgiven them.

I can't pray for them. Well,

try.

Start.

Lord prayed for us while we were shouting

cr him, give us B ab, We were

in that crowd,

I was in that crowd.

And he prayed for me and you and

said father for gifts, Scott. He doesn't know

what he's doing.

He did that for us.

And then refused to take revenge.

That's how you forgive. God says Vengeance his

mind

says the Lord. It's his job. Not not

ours. We don't get to stand in the

the seed of judgment.

But when we are holding

unforgiveness,

it... We're trying to take revenge on that

person.

We're trying to get even if you will.

And it really all it does is make

us a mess and a wreck

on the inside.

And then thirdly,

refused to bring it up anymore.

Once you've chosen to forgive and and hopefully

there's been

reconciliation. But once you've chosen to forgive,

stop talking about it.

That's not easy for me to do,

because that's when I know. I'm still wrestling

through

what somebody did to me or what hurt

me or or or any given

situation.

How do we know that we've forgiven?

When it no longer

consumes my thoughts.

You've forgiven when it no longer consumes your

thoughts.

I no longer need to talk about it.

And I know this is convict.

I've been dealing with this all week long.

And been very convicted as I go through

this stuff myself. I've been on the

going through it,

myself, and it let it say Lord examine

my heart

Who am I holding

something against? I don't wanna do that. I

wanna be like you.

So here's where the rubber meets the road.

Who do I need to forgive?

Who do you need

to forgive?

And saw some spouses is elbow in each

other?

Just kidding. I didn't see that.

I think there's 3 tests

on how we know who do we need

to forgive.

And the first test is the blame test.

Who do I blame for my circumstances

and unhappiness?

In other words, my life would be so

much better if they hadn't done this to

me.

My life would be so much I'd be

so much more happy if that person hadn't

hurt me.

Who do we blame?

Who's coming to your mind

on that?

Then there's the bitterness test.

And the bitterness test is who am I

keeping score with.

You got your score sheets.

You did this to me. I did that

to you back and forth back and forth

back and forth.

The definition of love in first Corinthians 13

is love keeps no record of wrongs. It

doesn't keep score.

So

in your marriage and your family and your

friendships in this church

at the workplace,

Don't keep score. Just crumble that thing up,

take it to the cross.

And then the behavior test.

Who do I find myself reacting to?

Who

sets you off

easiest.

Proverbs says a fool vent is anger,

a wise person rest him.

We rest restrained that anger, and we learn

to forgive and not react to people, but

to respond,

in truth, humility

and in love.

We're taking comm today.

And in

I'm gonna read and after we get the

elements and sing a song, I'm gonna read

a passage

from first Corinthians where the apostle Paul is

in obstructing the church at cor about comm.

And after he talks about what the lord

did on the night of his betrayal in

the upper room with the disciples

Paul says examine yourselves

before you

take comm, examine

your heart.

And I can't think of a better

message to approach the comm table with to

get

transformation from eating the bread and drinking the

cup and remembering

what he's done for us,

that we forgive is we've been

forgiven.

In the Lord's prayer,

Forgive us our debts, forgive us our sins

as we forgive those who have sinned against

us.

I pray through the Lord's prayer on a

weekly basis.

And when I get to that portion

of forgive as... I've been forgiven

Say Lord, we you draw to my mind

anybody that I'm holding,

resentment to?

And if somebody comes into my mind, I

just think Lord, I forgive them. I release

them to you.

It's so cleansing to forgive.

Is so freeing.

We stand with me.

If you would, would you just take a

moment and close your eyes with me?

And just asked the Lord

to bring to mind

anyone that you are

holding some resentment towards

unforgiveness

that you're bitter with.

And if that happens,

Release them to the Lord.

Just say father,

I forgive them as you forgave me.

Father do you work in our hearts this

morning.

We wanna reflect your son.

Maybe whoever came to your mind,

you could be in a difficult marriage right

now. Me having difficulty.

It could be a person, some

coworker. I don't know.

But

I find this to be super helpful.

Picture

that person

as a little kid,

maybe even a little toddler.

Spouses I encourage you to get a picture

of your spouse when they were a little

boy or a little girl.

And when you get really ticked off,

pull out that little picture.

And you see that person who had hopes

and dreams of how life was gonna go

go for them,

and

it melts your heart because we have a

tendency to be way more forgiving to little

ones than we do adults.

Because I think we think they should know

better or whatever.

But we're gonna forgive as we have been

forgiven. The comm table is called the table

of

reconciliation.

Where Jesus

wrote bread and drank the cup

with his

his disciples, and he said do this and

remembrance of me and it's been a sacred

practice

of the church

ever since.

And as we do that today,

let's do that with with fresh

hearts,

that have been cleansed and and and pull

off the toxicity

of bitterness and unforgiveness in a

commitment

to be in people who forgive 1 another

well.

We're gonna take the come up and get

the elements

individually,

you got 2 tables up here. There's tables

in the back.

Come and get the bread in the cup

and take it back to your seat. We're

gonna sing a song and we'll take the

elements together as a family.

That are

free.

My god.

Amazing

Past promise.

Good

Here's

my whole

secure

are

my god

amazing.

Make

be

be

wherever

my

As we were

getting

the elements and in sing that song,

I remember

when I first was a believer, the age

of 25.

I had gone and spent a pretty good

chunk of change on a brand new 12

string guitar.

And

I left the guitar in its case

in the back seat of my car.

We had a little... I lived in this

little studio apartment.

And I came out in the morning

and

Somebody had smashed out the window,

stole my brand new 12 string guitar.

I was ticked.

And I said all kinds of bad things

and deputy

And the Lord was like, how much did

I forgive you? Like,

You forgave everything, Lord. And I forgave the

person who stole and hope they became a

really good guitar player.

Tried to pray a blessing over them.

You apostle Paul

says for I received from the lord,

that which I also delivered to you that

the Lord Jesus in the night in which

he was betrayed,

he took bread.

And when he had given thanks,

he broke it. And he said this is

my body,

which is for you. Do this and remembrance

of me. Let's take the bread.

In the same way, he took the cup

also after supper.

Saying this cup is the new

covenant

in my blood.

Do this as often as you drink it

and remembrance of me.

For as often as you eat this bread

and drink the cup,

you pro the Lord's death

until he comes.

Lord, thank you for the cup of the

new covenant.

Life and the spirit,

life and your love, life and your

and goodness,

your faithfulness.

As we take the cup of the new

covenant,

transform us

in our minds

and thought word indeed,

to be like You, Jesus.

Let's take the come.

Now, may the god of all grace,

may the God of peace,

the god of joy,

the God and father of our lord Jesus

Christ,

in comm with the holy spirit.

Bless you rich ritual and abundantly.

By opening your mind and your heart to

who you are in Jesus Christ. And because

of Jesus Christ.

And because of him, you can forgive the

unforgivable,

past present and future.

You can forgive betrayal.

You can forgive petty things, big things.

May we together as the church

demonstrate to

unforgiving world what forgiving 1 another

looks like.

And our marriages, our families, our schools,

our workplace.

And may,

we as individuals corporate together grow in our

disciples ship

to you, Lord Jesus to put into practice,

how you've instructed us to live

in the power

of your holy spirit.

We agree with you today, Lord Jesus that

you are savior

and that you are Lord.

And everybody said,

amen, amen.