Matthew: The Depth of Anger

We've been going through the Sermon on the Mount.

I feel like on a holiday weekend I should reward you in some way and give you some great cheerful topic.

But our topic is more anger.

So sorry about that.

Sorry about that.

Here's our text for this morning, Matthew 5, 21 through 26.

It's in your bulletin and the handout.

And here we go.

You have heard that it was said to those of old, by the way, this is Jesus talking, if you're picking up with us.

And here's what he says you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not murder, and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.

But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.

Whoever insults his brother will be liable to the counsel, and whoever says you fool will be liable to the hell of fire.

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go.

First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison.

Truly I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

So, like I said, this is Matthew 5, the Sermon on the Mount, the core of Jesus' teaching.

Now, this section is called the antithesis.

So this comes right after last week.

Last week we talked about in this core of Jesus' teaching.

He says he's the completion of the law, and we talked about this last week.

We went in depth that the law is all the shoulds in life.

It's all the shoulds in Scripture, every should of what you should be in the Old Testament, every should of what you should be in the New Testament.

Every should that you feel in this world of what you should be, that is law.

And Jesus comes along and he says, you know, all that law of what you should be as a good Christian person.

I completed all of that because you don't.

And he says, Oh, you don't believe me.

Let me break it down a little bit for you in these antitheses.

And so the antitheses are these.

You have heard it said this, but I tell you this.

You have heard it said this, but I tell you this.

So this week he talks about anger.

Next week we'll be looking at where he talks about lust.

So another great subject.

I'm sure you'll be excited to come back for that one.

And so he starts this contrasting view of what you've heard before and now what I'm teaching you, and it's very emphatic language, right?

And some of this is very clear, contextual to the time, but what's clear for us is we don't live up to the standard of righteousness.

That's what he wants us to get.

What he wants us to get is that you're not gonna make it by your merit.

You're not gonna make it before right standing before God, and you're never gonna feel like you're in right standing before God on a day-to-day basis.

You're not gonna wake up and feel like, oh, I really had it together today.

I really feel justified today.

I feel like I've done a perfect job today.

You're not gonna feel that.

And by that, you you fall before the law.

You are falling short.

He says, I completed the law.

I completed the law.

And that's what's clear out of this passage.

And so he just starts to hammer home for us the importance to go to the inner life, to go deeper than behavior, and to hammer home the importance for us to live life deeper than behavior.

Now, maybe you're here and you have murdered someone.

I mean, don't raise your hand.

You know, don't raise, you don't have to.

You don't have to raise your hand.

You don't want to, we don't want you to.

So maybe that's true.

It's very, very possible.

It's possible.

Maybe you made a stupid decision when you were 19, you drank too much, you got in your car, you ran somebody over, and you murdered somebody.

Maybe you murdered somebody with a gun.

But Jesus even takes it further, and he says, hey, maybe you've murdered somebody with your words.

Maybe you've murdered somebody with your thoughts.

And he's saying, hey, all of it is falling short of what you should be.

You should be perfectly loving and accepting presence in this world.

And is anybody, anybody lining up with that?

Well, no.

Right?

I mean, it's just that little spinning circle on your Mac laptop.

The laptop's been on for a while, and you should be able to just open up a Word document very quickly.

This should not be that complicated.

And that little disk comes up and it starts spinning and they make it a rainbow because they need it as joyful as possible because you're getting angrier.

There's a reason why it's not like black and red and yellow.

I mean, like it's rainbow colors to kind of you know to make you feel a little bit more joyful, is trying, but it's not working because you're getting you just want to explode.

How dare, how dare we have to wait, right?

And you're like, how can I feel this angry toward a laptop?

Like, what how could this be?

Or you feel it in the Kroger line, and sweet Judy is just checking people out up there and she's having a great day.

Obviously she is, but she's talking to everybody, and you have your schedule, but sweet Judy doesn't know your schedule, and you're like, how can I be that angry at Judy?

But you are, you really are that angry at Judy.

And I I live on a dead-end street.

At the front of the street, it says dead end street.

There are two signs.

At the front of our street, it says dead end street.

And we get about 27 cars down our street a day, half of which turn around in my driveway, the other half turn around Ted and Cookie's driveway.

Her name's Cookie.

She got the name because she's cute.

And so that's her nickname, Cookie.

Half in Ted and Cookie's driveway, half in my driveway, and I hate them all.

I hate all of them.

I give them dirty looks.

Like maybe if I look angry enough at them, they will never turn down this road again, right?

You know what I'm talking about because you get angry about this kind of stuff too, right?

Like ridiculous things.

But maybe it's bigger things.

And you know angry people.

You know angry people that are defensive, you know angry people that are offensive.

I mean, you know your roommate, your dad, your mom, your aunt, you.

And so Jesus is expounding on last week, and what he's telling us this week is like, hey, you y'all, y'all fall short before the law.

You you are not an endless, joyful, perfect Christian handing out lollipops every day.

Like, that's not who you are, because you do fall short.

You you you are angry.

So last Saturday afternoon, I went out and I was working in the yard some, and I'm in the backyard and working underneath this oak tree, and I'm just pulling out all these weeds growing up between some ground cover, and I'm down, I got a shovel and I'm shoveling some, and I'm reaching out and I pull them out after I kind of pull them up.

And so I have gloves on, and so I reach down, and I reach down, and right when I reach down, I feel this sharp pain right between these two knuckles, and I know right when I feel the first one what's about to happen.

And so I figure in my head, I I'm gonna take off running, and there's gonna be about seven or eight stings, yellow jacket stings, before I get out of this mess, is what I figure inside of my head.

And so I get the first one hits me, and I turn, drop everything, and I just start running, but I run toward the backyard.

I'm in the backyard, and I run further into the backyard and realize very quickly, not a great move because I'm locked in back there, there's nowhere to go, and there's a swarm following me, so I so I have to do like kind of a U-turn at the cross back across the nest, and they're lighting me up, and one got my shirt, a couple got my shirt, and I take take my shirt off, I'm running down the driveway, and so I get out in the front yard and I'm yelling, all my girls are looking through the window, they hear me hollering and stripping, and they're looking out the windows, and I'm like, don't open the door, don't you know, stay inside, stay, and I'm yelling and I'm getting lit up, and I get about eleven.

I get hit about a I get hit eleven times.

Hey, don't worry about those yellow jackets, because they got a rag lit on fire put into their home.

So I won, lost the battle, won the war, but I got 11 stings, right?

And I mention all that, right?

I mentioned all that because I had threatened their home and they were angry, like yellow jacket, angry.

And I mentioned that because we felt that kind of anger.

Like we have felt that kind of that's just yellow jacket, swarming, mad, overflows, destroys type of anger.

So there's a quote in your handout.

Dr.

Henry Kellerman is a renowned psychoanalyst who's interviewed on MPR.

Here's what he says about anger.

Anger has an aggressive drive.

Like all primary emotions, it's inborn.

Anger is expansive, it wants to get bigger.

It has explosive potential.

It wants to burst out.

It has a confrontational inclination.

It wants to get tough.

Anger has an attack inclination, it wants to attack.

It has an entitled frame of mind.

It feels the right.

It feels it has the right to get tough.

Anger is an empowerment.

It illuminates, eliminates feelings of helplessness.

Right?

Hold on to that idea that anger eliminates feelings of helplessness.

That's why we love it.

That's why we're fascinated with it.

So last weekend, a couple weekends ago, we were at Whitewater, walking around in our swimsuits all day, as if that's not awkward for anybody at all at Whitewater, right?

And just like maybe a robe.

And we like at the top of the water slides, we take the robes off, and we're all walking around in robes.

I don't know, maybe classier.

All right, so, anyways, we get to the Wahoo Racers.

You remember the Wahoo Racers?

The Wahoo New Ride, Wahoo Racers, you got the mat, little handles, and so you pick up the mats at the bottom of the Wahoo racer and you walk them up.

And so we show up at the bottom of the Wahoo Racer, and there is a mom there.

I'm pretty sure she's not here.

Uh if she is, it's okay.

We've all had yellow jacket anger, and she is yellowjack anger all over her 12-year-old.

We don't know what the 12-year-old did.

This 12-year-old could be the worst 12-year-old in the world, right?

I mean, she could have been being a brat for months, and this could have just been the tipping point.

We don't know, but all we see, mean like we, like 30 of us, we see this mom just overflowing onto this 12-year-old girl and her in front of about 30 people just being demolished to tears.

And you know what we're all doing?

Just judging this mom.

Like, you are the worst mom, we can't stand you, you're horrible, right?

I mean, all of this, all of this judgment towards her.

Because this is not socially acceptable anger.

This yellow jacket anger, right?

We don't do that.

Right?

I mean, I mean, if you do it, I mean you just kind of you need to hide that, right?

I mean, because what's socially acceptable is my kind of anger.

I get upset.

Right?

I don't get angry.

I don't get angry.

I'm too spiritual.

I get upset.

I get frustrated.

I don't get angry.

Those are all code words, by the way, for anger that's suppressed is what it is.

And I'm just gonna passively steam or passively make you pay in some way.

What Jesus is telling us is something we should have picked up for a long time.

Kurt Cobain's been writing, was writing about it.

Beyonce, she's angry, apparently, she's been angry for a while.

Donald and Hillary are very angry just all the time.

Your dad is probably angry, your mom might be angry, your roommate, your friend, you, and here it is.

Here's what Jesus is saying, here's what all those other people are telling us.

Everybody's angry, but none of us really want to admit it.

We're just upset.

We're just frustrated.

I kept asking the Lord this week something I'm not really comfortable with, and that's this question: what am I still angry about?

What am I angry about?

What is it from whenever that I'm actually still angry about?

And I just put it down.

Right?

Like somebody took power from me at some point, and a quiet form of anger was the way that I managed my way through.

Right?

Because that's that quote.

It eliminates the feelings of helplessness.

So you take power from me and I feel helpless, but I don't want to feel helpless.

And so instead of dealing with the wound and the hurt, what I'll do is I'll get angry.

And that anger will help me not feel helpless anymore.

Because that thing happened, or she turned on you, or he never accepted you, and you didn't get the thing you wanted, and life hasn't turned out the way you wanted it to.

And under all of that, under all of that, there's anger at someone for something.

So there's these women in Brazil, uh they call it anger.

When you suppress anger, they say it's like swallowing a frog.

I read that this week.

I love it.

I love it because you can't ignore anger.

So you swallow a frog, right?

And this is the this is the metaphor, and the frog keeps jumping back up.

Suppressing anger is like swallowing a frog.

It keeps jumping back up.

Do you remember Cameron Fry, Ferris Muller's Day Off?

Do you all remember that?

They only played it on TBS every other day, all the way through the 90s.

Like every other day it was on TBS at like 2.30 p.m.

So Cameron Fry at the beginning of the movie, he is depressed, in bed, he can't even get out of bed, right?

And by the end of the movie, he is raging on his dad's Ferrari, right?

Do you remember this?

Why?

Because he's angry at his dad.

Because his dad never cared for him.

And at points this anger looked like depression, and at another point, this anger looked like rage.

Have you ever felt like, have you ever felt like somebody should have cared for you and they didn't?

Like they should have accepted you and they didn't.

You should have been accepted and you were rejected.

You should have been cared for and you were wounded.

Okay, so a few points kind of guide us.

I mentioned a lot.

Let me let me kind of organize them.

Point number one, anger is deep.

That's what Jesus is saying.

Anger is deep.

That's what Jesus is saying.

He takes us from murder, which is the action, to the inner life.

It's so easy for us to live in the action, as if the action is more important than the thought.

But Jesus says, no, no, no, no, the thought is more important than the action.

Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.

The thought's more important because any action, any word is rooted in the heart.

It's where it all begins.

And Jesus doesn't relax what God asks of us.

He actually heightens it.

He says, Oh, you've heard, don't commit murder.

He's like, Yeah, okay.

Probably most of you are going to do okay at that.

He's like, actually, uh the the should of who you should be is a perfectly loving presence in this world.

So the should is never get angry.

And he's helping us see that we're already angry.

And we already need Christ's perfect work for us, the completion of the law, his work for us, and that our anger and our shortcoming is put on the cross, and his righteousness and goodness is put upon us, and we are recipients to come into right standing with God.

Point number one, anger is deep.

Point number two, anger is addictive because it gives us a sense of control.

Anger is addictive because it gives us a sense of control.

A few years ago, a person hurt me.

She called up to the church and she said she needed to meet with me, and you're welcome to call the church and meet with me, and you're welcome to say hateful things to me.

That's what she did.

She said hateful things to me.

And she kind of messed with my life.

She disturbed my nest, right?

And I I I was I was upset.

Right?

When angry, I was upset.

But my anger blinded me to herbs.

I think to stay angry at somebody for a while, you have to dehumanize the person a little bit.

And I couldn't see the fact that she was hurt and she was speaking out of a narrative that I didn't know her narrative or understand where she was coming from.

And so I wasn't willing to see that because she wounded me, and then I felt helpless, and the way that I was going to get out of my helplessness was to feel angry at her.

And that's the process I went through.

And it made me feel powerful.

I went out of that meeting that she said very hurtful things, and 30 minutes later I felt powerful again because I was angry at her.

It gave me something to control, right?

It gave me something to control.

That's why it's so addictive.

Frederick Buchner, a great spiritual writer, that quotes in your handout, here's what he says about anger.

Anger is fun.

To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll your tongue over the prospect of bitter confrontations yet to come, to savor the last toothsome morsel over the pain you are given and the pain you give back.

In many ways, anger is a feast fit for a king.

The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself.

The skeleton at the feast is you.

Well, that's all really cheery.

Let's just go home.

No, that's not that's not it.

There's good news, and that's point number three.

And that is, is you are not less loved by God because of your anger.

Right?

I mean, I could say it the other way around and say, in your anger, you're fully loved.

Because Christ completed all the shoulds of who you should be.

That's the context of this scripture.

So point number three, you are not less loved by God because of your anger, nor do you have to be defined by your anger.

So these two thoughts are connected.

Because we're fully loved by God in our imperfection and in our anger, this means we're without fear to face any of our anger.

So we don't have to swallow the frog.

We don't have to suppress the anger.

We can honestly look at the anger, confess the wrong, and then check this out.

We get to follow the anger.

You have to follow the anger.

You have to see where is the anger.

Find the hurt that's under the anger.

Because when you are angry, there is something to grieve.

When you are angry, there's something to grieve.

Nobody explodes, explodes on their 12-year-old daughter at the Wahoo racer unless they need to grieve something else.

Right?

For me to be in line at the Kroger, at the Kroger, and to be that upset at sweet Judy, who's just being friendly, there's something else for me to grieve.

There's something else going on.

I mean, you're not just angry in that case, right?

Like I always say that nobody's really angry in traffic.

If you're angry in traffic, you're angry about something else.

There's something else to grieve.

And you get to, because your position with God is secure not by your work, but because of Christ's work, you get to actually follow the anger.

And I know you don't want to feel the hurt, right?

Because we're experts of ignoring the hurt or escaping out of it.

But it's swallowing a frog.

And maybe you're here and you're just tired of being upset, tired of being angry, and you're seeing that anger, anger is like a reach where you never quite get there.

Right?

It keeps promising control and gives you a little bit, and it's wearing you out.

And see, all of this breaks us.

All of this breaks us, and Jesus is trying to break us, is what he's doing.

He's trying to get us to come to grips with our shortcomings so that we will rest in him, and out of that will come healing and transformation.

And then we get that verse 22.

But I say to you that everyone who's angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.

So he's doing he's breaking, he's hammering home that he completes the law and is our righteousness because we are all angry.

And grace enables us to ask of our hearts.

This is what grace enables us to ask of our hearts.

Why are you saying that?

Like to ourselves, why am I saying that?

Why am I doing that?

Where did that come from?

Like, where is this coming from?

What is going on in me to create that?

And then you might actually do verse 23, what Jesus talks about you.

You might actually leave worship, which by the way, is like religiosity is a great way to swallow a frog.

This is a fantastic way to ignore anger.

I'll just keep going to church.

That's what I'll do, and I'll forget it another week, right?

He says, no, no, no, no.

Leave it.

Like leave the religiosity and deal with your anger.

Recognize it.

Follow it.

Go to the person.

Start to process the hurt.

And then come back and worship.

He's saying it's that important.

And all this Jesus is helping us see once again, we're not perfect.

It's an unbridgeable gap if our thoughts are included.

Unbridgeable gap if our thoughts are included.

And the great news is so relieving is the bridge always comes from his side.

The bridge always comes from God's side.

That's what Christianity says.

And it's the whole bridge.

It's not like half the bridge.

And then like you're gonna, and then, oh yeah, by the way, it's kind of half the bridge, and you're gonna meet him halfway.

No.

It's the whole, the cross is the whole bridge to make you right with God.

God's grace comes from the other side of your anger and the greatness, he's not angry with you.

He's not angry with you.

This week I read this by Scotty Smith, who's a pastor.

I love him and how he writes.

And he says he is the consummate overlooker.

It's not that he doesn't take your anger seriously, but because he is gracious and incomparably patient, he has begun a good work of transformation in you that he is committed to.

So listen, he is more committed to you than you are to yourself.

He is more committed to you than you are to him.

And that is good news.

So, my brothers and sisters, may you see that glorious bridge that arrives from the other side, from the other side of your anger, and may you live in the great grace of walking on that bridge of provision.

Let's pray together.

God, thank you for your grace to us.

And we confess that we get angry.

We get upset.

We get frustrated.

For some of us, we are angry about things done to us a long time ago.

A thing done, a word spoken.

Maybe we've covered it with ambition, or we've covered it with religiosity, or we've covered it with defensiveness.

Would you give us the courage to follow our anger to the hurt?

Would you give us the courage to surrender and let you into places where we've never known unconditional love?

Where we've never known full acceptance.

Where we've never known our identity secured outside of our word.

God, we confess and ask for forgiveness for all the anger we put toward people.

Give us the courage to follow that.

To say those apologies and ask for forgiveness.

God, we confess, we fall short.

We need you, we need your completion of the law.

We receive this word this morning that Christ is sufficient for us, that your work is sufficient for us, not our work for ourselves.

Out of the great grace of the bridge that is built on the cross from you to us, when we rest our hearts and our lives, and we welcome your transformation inside of us.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.