Jonah: Death Before Death

So I woke up Wednesday morning to the most wonderful thing, the most wonderful way to wake up.

I was in the in the bathroom, I was brushing my teeth, and my little six-year-old, she comes in and she says, Happy birthday, Dad.

It was my birthday, she had that right, so that was good.

And says, Happy birthday, Daddy.

Thanks, babe.

She said, We have a we have a surprise for you in the kitchen.

You gotta come, we have a surprise for you.

And she's she wants to tell me.

She's like, I'm not gonna tell you though.

Sisters will get mad.

I'm not gonna tell you.

And so she takes my hand, we walk down the hall, we get to the kitchen, and Christy and my mom and the girls, they had put together 40 pictures of me, which who doesn't love that right away, right?

40 pictures of me, shaped like a 40 because I turned 40, and it was a big 40 in the kitchen, and it was pictures of me from birth, about one a year all the way till this year.

And so that was, I mean, who needs a better gift, right?

I mean, I thought I wanted another Patagonia pullover.

I do have five, like I have that addiction, even in the summer.

You know, why not?

Let's just add another one to the collection.

You know, but that was like, oh, this is good.

This was so good.

And so I'm just standing there, and it's right above our kitchen sink, and so I've been all week, I've been just standing there looking at this 40 and all these 40 pictures.

And not just me, of course, there's like friends and family throughout all these years.

And here's what hit me.

I had really cute moments uh pretty much before the age of eight.

After that, it just got awkward all the way till now.

But before eight, before eight, I had some stuff going on.

I had some game.

My biceps, my senior year, were not as big as I thought.

And uh some of you know that.

Thank you, Christy, via Instagram.

You saw my senior picture in my basketball uniform with my you know big biceps, they're still about the same size.

I've had some career moments.

There's a couple like pictures in there.

It's like, oh yeah, I remember that.

Like I got that job, that thing happened.

Wow, that was that was pretty great.

And but what I look like or anything to do with career really didn't matter when I was looking at these pictures of my life.

It just really didn't matter compared to like the people who were in the pictures.

And then also, sort of as the week went on, like when I would look at the pictures, like even that started to fade away a little bit.

And then there was this feeling of like, what was going on at that time, like that picture when I was 13 or 23 or 33.

And what was the Lord doing during that time?

What was the Lord showing me or trying, trying to show me often is what it's more like?

And so there was a lot of joy looking at these pictures.

There's been a lot of joy, but then also there's this other side to it of sorrow.

Because I actually, probably like you, I I spend a lot of energy, I spend a lot of energy trying to get everything else to say something about me.

Right?

Maybe you know what I'm talking about.

Because maybe you have at some point posted something to some social media platform, maybe Instagram or Twitter or Facebook, you posted something, and as soon as you post it, right, you you keep checking the likes as if it is the declaration of you.

This interesting article came out in the Atlantic Monthly called the Instagram aesthetic is over, as Lady Taylor Lorenz wrote it.

And what she was saying is that the aesthetic is over.

The idea of posting pictures and revealing your life to be perfect.

The proper background, the right lighting, you know, like we would never post a picture of eating dairy ice cream online, right?

Like never that, unless it's Ginny's, because then that's a social status issue, right?

But never just like Baskin Robin ice cream.

It would never post that.

You know, we've got to post eating avocado ice cream.

Like that would be the that's the thing to post, right?

I mean, that's good, that's gonna do it.

That's gonna do it for us.

But there's this shift with like all the really hot influencers that have huge followings, like people who make their livings off of these followings.

There's this shift going on that's moving away from perfection to messiness.

The posts are actually being thought about and put out there as to be messy.

Here's the quote: in fact, many teens are going out of their way to make their photos look worse.

Hoogicam, which makes an app, which makes your images look as if they were taken with an old school throwaway camera, has been downloaded more than 16 million times.

Adding grain to your photos is a big thing now, says Sonia Apal is a 20-year-old college student.

People are trying to seem candid.

People post a lot of mirror selfies and photos of them lounging around.

So here's what's interesting with all of this it's still a performance.

Right?

You're still performing to try to get somebody to approve it.

It's still not real.

Like, we will never escape the burden, whether you do Instagram or not, it doesn't even matter.

We'll never escape the burden of depravity or the law.

By performing up to a standard of perfection, whatever that be for you, that's law, or by performing up to a standard of perfect messiness.

Still a law.

And that's where we're at today, is because we don't need to keep trying to form a standard, whether it be perfect messiness or just perfect, perfect.

Like it's a death that we need.

We actually need death before death.

That's what how we would call it spiritually.

We need death before death.

We're in our second week in the book of Jonah, and we see today Jonah's death before death.

This is a guy, a prophet, well-known, respected prophet.

Last week we talked about it.

He was called by God to go preach the Nineveh, his hated enemy.

These people were brutal.

They're horrible, horrible people.

And he didn't want to go to tell them about a merciful God.

I mean, perhaps they might repent and God might actually be merciful upon them.

He wanted them to pay for their sin.

So he gets on a boat, he goes to Tarshish, he runs the other way.

So jumping back into some of the verses Seth read, Jonah 1, jumping in at verse 4, but the Lord hurled a great wind upon the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea, so that the ship threatened to break up.

Then the mariners were afraid, and each cried out to his God, and they hurled the cargo that was in the ship into the sea to lighten it for them.

But Jonah had gone down into the inner part of the ship and had lain down and was fast asleep.

Very courageous, courageous guy.

Verse 6.

So the captain came and said to him, What do you mean, you sleeper?

Arise, call out to your God.

Perhaps the God will give you a thought to us that we may not perish.

So what's interesting in the story here today is that Jonah is running from going to tell the Ninevehites about God, and he ends up on a ship with other pagans, and even just by him being there, those pagans start talking and thinking and even praying to his God.

So two points, kind of overarching points for today.

Point number one is this.

When we try to outrun God, we all do, when we try to outrun God, we learn there is nowhere to hide from God.

When we try to try to outrun God, we learn there's nowhere to hide from God.

Maybe you babysat your little nephew Johnny at some point.

And little Johnny is all over the place.

I mean, he's just zipping here and there, running.

He's never walked his entire life.

He's all over the house, he's all over the yard, and you are two, three hours into this thing, and you can't wait to get out and done with this thing.

And finally, you're back in the kitchen giving him more goldfish, and then you pull out the old hide-and-seek card, right?

We know the hide-and-seek card when you're babysitting because what that means is you get to be separate from him for a little bit, and he has to be quiet while he's hiding.

And so you're saying, like, hey, let's play hide and seek.

And so he runs off, and you can't count slow enough and long enough for your sanity.

Eventually, it's you know, 30, you know, here I can hide and seek, here I come, I'm coming.

And he had ran into the den, into the living room, little Johnny, jumped up on the couch.

You probably remember this, buried his head in the corner of the couch, puts his the pillow on top of his head, and his entire body is sticking out for you to see, right?

Remember this.

What is he doing?

Well, if he can't see you, surely you can't see him, right?

I mean, this is this is his thought.

He can't see you.

We sort of grow out of that in a way.

But not all the way, especially not when it comes to our running with God, because we still think if you can't see him, surely, surely God can't see you, right?

Like surely you could run somewhere.

You could hide somewhere, you could perform or pretend, you could do something to some sort of mask.

King David wrote about this, I think, pretty well.

It was after his affair with Bathsheba, which was probably much darker than that, because I'm sure she probably didn't want to have sex with him.

And he gets her pregnant, right?

He's got to figure out a way out of this, so he decides to cover it up instead.

Calls her husband back from war, tries to trick him into sleeping with her, so the whole thing's covered up, and he'll think that that's his baby, and that doesn't work out because he turns out to be a pretty good man, and eventually he, David, has to arrange a situation for that guy to be killed, and then he just marries Bathsheba.

And then he thinks everything's fine.

This goes along with life.

And then finally he breaks, finally, he repents, finally, he finds forgiveness in God alone and nothing else.

And then in Psalm 139, we get these verses, Psalm 139, verse 7 through 9.

Psalms 139:7–9

I can't help but think this comes out of that sort of life.

This this insight's gotta come out of that sort of life where you know about hiding.

Where shall I go from your spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there.

If I make my bed in Sheol, that's the grave.

If I make my bed in the grave, you are there.

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

We can take boats all over the place, all different directions.

The opposite way that God even wants us to go, morally or in some calling, he's still with you.

He's faithful for that.

Now that's horrible news if your God, your thinking of God, is the cosmic, angry God waiting to ground you or spank you or take your phone away for a month.

That would be horrible news that he's always with you.

But what if?

What if is he is actually the just God that judged everything?

All of our sin on the cross, and the judgment is handled, and the judgment toward us is love.

And what if God is actually what the entire biblical narrative says he is, that he is love?

The Jonah 1 story continues.

All these sailors that get together, they cast lots trying to figure out this storm, and maybe somebody caused this storm.

They figure out it's Jonah.

Jonah's the problem.

Tell us what's going on.

Who are you?

Where do you come from?

Like, what'd you do?

Who are your people?

Why is this storm on us?

And Jonah says, I'm a Hebrew and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven and sea and the land.

It's interesting.

Now he's preaching to pagans.

It's the very thing he didn't want to do, so now he's running, ends up doing the same thing he was going to do, anyways.

They say, What have you done?

For they knew Jonah was on the run for God, and Jonah tells them, and he just said, Hey, let's handle it this way.

Just throw me into the sea, get rid of me, and everything will be well for you.

And the men don't want to do this, they sort of fear, they fear that.

They fear God, they fear Jonah's God.

So they're praying to God, like, God, you know, we don't want to do this, but what if we do?

You know, please don't, you know, don't come and zap us.

And then in Jonah 1, verse 15, so they picked up Jonah, they hurled him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging.

Jonah 1:15

Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly.

They offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows.

And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

So, plenty of debate here when it comes to this story.

This is the point for some of you that you go, and I'm done.

This was it for me.

Everything was great till this point.

So some would say this is all metaphor, this story's all metaphor.

And some would say, no, no, no, it's not metaphor, it's a miracle.

If you're okay with the miracle of the resurrection, why not be okay with this miracle?

Here's what we do know.

What we do know is it doesn't read like figurative language, it reads like this happened.

So we're gonna discuss it as if it happened, as if it is literal, it is a miracle.

And we'll look to the lesson as we can.

And here's point number two.

I think the big lesson here with this fish showing up is this.

Point number two love and redemption are beneath the surface.

So our death is always required as to no life.

And when I mean when I say death, I mean death before death, not physical death, death before death.

Love and redemption are beneath the surface, so our death is always required as to no life.

So Jonah himself describes the belly of the fish as Sheol, just like David did, the grave.

So a death before death.

It's a death of the sinful nature, the nature that wants to perform and pretend and hide, as to either cope or find some self-righteousness or self-justification, apart from God's movement and his love for you.

The fish is not judgment on Jonah, it's love at his lowest point.

It's love at the bottom of the ladder at the end of the rope.

I read this quote at our Good Friday service a couple weeks ago.

It's a quote by Father Stephen Freeman, who's an Orthodox Christian priest.

Modernity likes ladders.

We like the idea of upward mobility, of continual approvement, of moral progress.

We speak of career ladders and the ladder of success.

It is the myth of personal power, a story told to individuals that they can now become whatever they want.

Be all that you can be, and Jesus can help.

God does not meet us in the middle.

He meets us at the bottom and asks us to meet him there as well.

It is within that place that true humility is born, judgment ceases.

Modernity loves excellence.

The moral improvement pitches of the motivational preachers love the drive for excellence.

Our bosses and the owners demand that we strive for excellence.

God is not our boss, nor does he place us in his debt.

Freely you have received.

The constant nagging voice demanding improvement and excellence is not the voice of God.

It is often nothing more than the neurotic echo of modernity sounding in our brains.

It drives us with the threat of shame.

However, Christ has trampled down shame by shame and invites us to do the same thing.

You cannot escape shame except by shame.

So Father Freeman's saying God finds you at the bottom.

That's the only place.

So a death has to be happened.

A death of you trying to be enough as to be loved by God or by other people or approved as a human being or self-righteous by your own means.

It's in the cross that we do not have to prove or absolve ourselves, but die to all of that as to receive full forgiveness, full worth, and full righteousness.

So if I could try to be a little more concrete, I think is just trying to think through like what are these deaths?

Like a death before death.

What are these deaths?

I think perhaps there's three common ways that we can end up in this death before death.

I think death possibility number one is guilt.

Maybe you've screwed up.

You've hurt people, said things.

Maybe you didn't want to, maybe you did want to.

But you know guilt.

You know the weight of guilt.

You know the weight of there's something always that you have not done yet.

Maybe you've never been able to live up to what God asks you to live up to, or maybe you're never able to live up to what the church told you you should be.

You simply feel the weight of guilt.

And the way out is not being better.

The way out is a death.

That's what the Christian life is: is repentance, ongoing repentance, casting yourself back on Jesus.

It's a death to the self-righteous pride that is telling you to be your own savior.

That's death possibility number one.

Guilt.

Death possibility number two would be shame.

Guilt is I have done something wrong.

Shame is I am something wrong.

Now, the doctrine of depravity does not say you are something wrong.

We have Genesis 1 before Genesis 3.

Genesis 1 says you are beautifully created.

You have inherent worth as God's created being.

Genesis 3 says, although you are beautifully created, you have a nature in you that propels you and sends you away from God.

That is the doctrine of depravity.

So we are both beautiful and sinful.

So we're never without worth.

But maybe no one told you that.

Or maybe something happened.

Maybe someone hurt you.

Maybe all of that happened.

And the way out is actually a death.

You wouldn't have thought it.

It's a death to the self-loathing.

It's a death to the coping and the self-hatred.

As to finally be open-handed enough to receive your beloved identity in Jesus.

Death possibility number three.

Exhaustion.

Amen.

Anybody?

Maybe you're simply exhausted of trying to make yourself perfect enough or good enough or churchy enough or successful enough.

Exhausted in the religious merit pathway or exhausted in just worldly success merit pathway.

It's all really forms of rebellion and coping.

And the way out is to be at rest in Jesus.

That's the way out.

It's the great escape.

The great escape is your actual death before death.

It's like Jonah getting thrown over.

You think, oh, this is the worst thing that could happen.

I'd be thrown over the ship.

This is the worst thing that could happen.

And they're under the surface.

And Sheol is the rescue.

Paul explains it in Romans 6, verses 5 through 7.

Romans 6:5–7

For if we have been united with Jesus, him, in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in resurrection like his.

We know that our old self, that's the sinful nature, the old Adam, we know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.

For one who has died has been set free from sin.

So all that to say we must die before we die, and we die into the cross of Jesus.

It's where we lay down that sinful nature that wants to pretend and perform and cope and hide.

And say, I have nothing to offer here except to receive.

And this is for non-Christians to become Christians.

Turning over of your life as to receive the grace of God, your absolution, and your righteousness.

And it's for Christians.

It's for you today.

And later today and tonight and tomorrow morning, the next day.

I read this week the statement when the belly of the fish is good news to you, the God of the cross has taken hold of you.

When the belly of the fish is good news to you, the God of the cross has taken hold of you.

My brothers and sisters, may you die before you die, that you might walk in the newness of life.

Let's pray together.

God, thank you for this great, courageous calling for us to die.

It's all that we want to prove.

For us to prove our goodness and worth rather than to receive it, for us to prove we are forgiven rather than to receive it.

For us to work our way out of guilt or work our way out of shame or work our way out of exhaustion rather just to die.

To crucify ourselves upon the cross, that we might know you and your death for us.

That while we were enemies, you died for us that we might know the love of God.

For so many of us, we know the weight of guilt.

For many of us, we know the weight of shame.

And for many of us, we know the weight of exhaustion.

And would you help us stop trying to climb halfway up the ladder as to think that you are halfway up the ladder?

But help us just to die and fall to all of our earning, that we might find you at the bottom, the fullness of your grace, which is sufficient for us, that we are fully forgiven, fully worthy, fully righteous, not because of what we do, but because of what you have done with this cause great transformation and newness of life in our hearts and in our lives.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.