Grace-Centered Prayer: Why Praying Is So Hard | Associate Pastor: Matt Armstrong

Well, this month we are in a uh a short series on gospel-centered or grace-centered prayer.

This morning we're asking the question: why is prayer so hard?

Uh if you've read many books on prayer or heard many um sermon series on prayer, this is kind of the underlying driving question of prayer, because I think all of us, sinners that we are, born into a broken world, really the DAC is stacked against us when it comes to prayer.

We're lazy, there are forces in the world that work against us, but there is good news, and that's why it's good to come back to the subject regularly.

For all that is against us, there is one who is for us, and that that one is the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

So as long as he is for us, we have hope, and uh this is a a subject that should not grow old for us.

Uh before we jump in, I want to recommend a book.

I think it's always helpful to do that.

I'm a book lover.

A praying life.

This this book is kind of underlying a lot of the framework of this series.

I've read many books on prayer.

There are lots of very good books.

This is the only book on prayer I have read four times.

So I highly recommend it.

And kind of reviewing it for this sermon, I'm ready to read it again.

All right.

Point one.

Why don't we pray?

Why is prayer so hard?

As I was kind of reflecting on various reasons that we struggle.

I struggle to pray.

They kind of fit in these kind of classic uh theological buckets, so I'm using that if it's helpful for you.

Uh, three reasons why it's hard to pray: the world, the flesh, and the devil.

The world, we live in a world that is opposed to God, scripture teaches us.

And in in our time, really ever since the Enlightenment a few centuries ago, we live in a world in the West where everything has been kind of divided into two realms, two spheres, two stories, like in a house.

The lower story, the main level of the house, is what we consider rational things, logical things like math and science, you know, things we can see, taste, and touch, our physical bodies.

The upper story of the house are what are considered illogical or irrational things, non-rational things like our feelings, our values, our faith.

We put God up there, things like beauty, even ethics.

Um things that we can't uh verify.

We kind of we say, well, you know, it's okay if you feel those things, if you believe those things, but but that's kind of private and and put a put aside.

The result of that, even for Christians, because of the air we breathe in our modern context and culture, is that prayer can seem odd sometimes, right?

Like, yeah, we should pray for things, but you know, I'm an able-bodied person, I'm well educated, I have a graduate degree, I have a good paying job, I have money, you know.

Yeah, I can maybe throw a bone to God, but but I should be able to take care of things myself.

And whether or not it's it's um thoughtful or intentional, often we just don't think to pray because of the world we live in.

Second thing that makes it hard to pray is our flesh.

Flesh is a biblical term for our sinful nature.

We're born into this world opposed to God.

As C.

S.

Lewis said, we are sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, and as such, we have an inherent distrust of God.

That's what it means to be born into sin.

We have an automatic desire for autonomy.

We don't want to be dependent on God, though that is how we were created.

We were created to live in dependence on God.

God never meant for his creation to be separate from him.

Third is the devil, the father of lies, who is actively at work sowing seeds of doubt into our minds about God.

Like Eve in the garden, we are easily deceived.

Have you ever had thoughts or doubts?

Maybe God is untrustworthy?

Maybe he's not really good.

Maybe he doesn't care about us, or he's just so busy, right?

How many of us have thought, you know, he's busy running the universe?

He doesn't care about my little issue, my insignificant prayers.

Those are what we like to call lies from the pit of hell.

And that's what Satan, the devil, you know, that's what I like to call them.

Uh it's okay to name those things.

Um, right?

So we we we have an active enemy who wants us to be disconnected from the Father.

So the world, the flesh, and the devil.

But I'm gonna bring, I'm bringing you a bonus reason.

Another main reason that we fail to pray, or many of us have stopped praying, is the disappointment of unanswered prayer.

How many of us have experienced real deep disappointment that has bred into bitterness because of things we have prayed for, earnestly prayed for, things that we thought were good, right, based on scripture and our understanding of the Bible, of God, of what he wants.

Because of those unanswered prayers, uh, often we can raise a wall between us and God.

And rather than risking being disappointed again, we simply stop asking.

All right, so there's a lot stacked against us.

But but what frees us, what invites us to pray?

Again, four reasons to counter these four reasons that we struggle to pray.

First, simply remembering who God is as both infinite and imminent, infinitely powerful, deeply personal.

Now we struggle, again, as finite beings, wrapping our minds around an infinite God, right?

Not only is it a struggle, it's impossible.

We we can't actually understand what it means to be in relationship with an infinite being.

And so we tend, all people, including Christians, we tend to fall into two camps.

One is that we we are okay with the imminent, the uh immensity of God, right?

The infinity of God.

He's like the deist, right?

God is there, but he's just so powerful and so distant.

He's doing big things, not little things.

Or we go the other way, and we we we understand that God is close, he's intimate, he is a friend, but but is he really in control of the world?

Does anything really change when I pray, even though Jesus loves me?

But throughout the scriptures, from beginning to end, God gives us a different message that he is both infinitely powerful and yet deeply close and personal to us.

Listen to God speaking through the prophet Isaiah.

For thus says the one who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is holy, I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

I mean, look in that one verse, this is what God wants his people, he wants us to know this about him.

He is high and lifted up, absolutely, and there is none higher, there is no name greater, he inhabits eternity, he fills eternity, which is, you know, a logical conundrum.

And yet he loves to draw near to the lowly in spirit, the contrite in heart.

This is our God, this is the God, this is what divinity is.

And why, why does he say that he loves to draw near to the lowly in spirit?

He says to revive the spirit, to revive the heart, because he cares.

He cares for the least of these, the smallest, the most meek, the poorest of the poor.

He draws near out of love and compassion.

And of course, there is no more tangible evidence of the infinite God drawing close in compassion and love than in the very incarnation that we've just been celebrating during the Christmas season.

The infinite God who came to dwell in a particular individual, and he dwelt among us.

In Jesus, he made tangible what was always true and what he'd always told us in the scriptures, that he sits with us, that he listens to us, he weeps with us, and he rejoices with us, and he helps us.

Jesus embodied all the things that were always true before, but made them much more tangible.

So remembering who God is helps us to pray.

Second, remembering and embracing our own limits and our weakness, right?

Knowing God and knowing ourselves.

When Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray, he tells them stories about weak individuals who know that they can't do life on their own.

We read earlier from Luke 18, 1 to 8, this the parable of the persistent widow.

This is an incredible parable if you kind of understand the context, right?

A widow in first century Israel was one of, if not the, most powerless people in the community.

Apart from a husband, apart from a father, apart from a son, a widow had no representation.

She was not a legal entity.

She was looked down on then less than fully human in the culture.

And so this widow, powerless, is seeking justice.

She needs help.

She can't have it.

She needs the legal system, she needs this judge.

And so she goes to her local particular judge.

But she is, man, she is striking out because not only is she a widow, but he is an unjust judge who we're told does not believe in God, does not fear God, and doesn't care what people think of him, right?

So he doesn't fear divine judgment for doing evil.

He also doesn't care what people think, so whether he kicks her to the curb, excuse me.

And yet, she is persistent.

She continues to bother him until finally he's like, This woman will not leave me alone.

For my own peace and quiet, I'm just gonna give her the justice she's asking for.

Now, this parable falls into a broad Hebrew teaching method called how much more then?

And a lot of the Psalms and Proverbs are shaped this way.

And this is this is what Jesus is saying.

Look, if this widow who is ultimately powerless, if she is persistent in her belligerence of this unjust judge and gets justice, how much more when you bring your prayers and your needs to a just loving Heavenly Father?

How much more will he answer your prayers?

God is nothing like an unjust judge.

God is justice.

And so when we bring our prayers to him, this is exactly this is actually how Luke frames it.

He says that Jesus taught them this parable so that they might pray always and never lose heart.

I love that phrase.

Not to lose heart.

Jesus knew, right?

God's timing, his infinite being, we are like children, right?

We want things and we want them now.

This is urgent.

My life is at stake, I need this.

But Jesus says, look, you're gonna have to pray for certain things over a long period of time.

You will need to be persistent like this widow.

But know the heart of your father in heaven.

He loves you, he is just, and he is good.

And so persevere and never lose heart.

I love this uh line from Paul Miller from A Praying Life.

He says, learned desperation is at the heart of a praying life.

Simply knowing that we don't have the power to control our own lives, no matter how much money, physical ability, mental ability, we are dependent beings.

All right, third, it helps us to pray when we remember and rest in our identities as beloved children of God.

All right, what is God's heart towards us?

One of my favorite passages in the whole Bible is in Matthew chapter 6, the Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus teaches his disciples about prayer and about anxiety, right?

Matthew 6 · chapter mention

Because I'm familiar with anxiety.

He says, Don't worry about what you're gonna eat or drink or wear stuff, right?

Don't worry about the things of this life.

Why?

This is the reason he gives.

He says, the Gentiles seek after these things.

Why does he single out the Gentiles?

Well, they are not the people of God, they are not the children of God, they don't know God as a father, and so they live as orphans.

But that's not so with you.

He says, Your father in heaven knows what you need before you ask.

And I love how what Luke adds here that Jesus says, fear not little flock.

For it is your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

What a tender word out of the mouth of our Lord.

Fear not little flock.

The father, like a shepherd who cares for little helpless sheep.

It is his good pleasure to give you good things.

And so remember God's heart toward you.

Like a little child, right?

What does a little child ask for?

Literally everything.

Right?

They're too short to get things off the counter.

They have their sippy cup, they throw it on the ground because they like to see you pick it up, you know.

Um the worst place in the world to be with a small child is like the grocery store checkout room, you know.

Like, I mean, now we have self-checkout, which is a little better, but you know, I mean, a little kid is just like candy, gum, magazines, blah, blah, blah.

You're like, no, you can't have those things.

Um, be a dependent child.

So pray for anything.

Parking spaces, a job, relationships, healing, everything.

Be a dependent child because your father loves you as a better father or mother than any human father or mother there is.

Fourth and finally, remember to wait and to watch after you pray.

One of the reasons we do fall into the temptation of disappointment and bitterness is um for unanswered prayer, is because we don't relate to God as our as that father, right?

That Jesus is trying to teach us.

We tend, we default to transactional prayers.

God, I need this.

You you got the power.

You say you love me.

Hey, I want to, I've been to church like four weeks in a row.

You know that's not easy for me.

And and like I was really nice to that lady at work that I really don't like, and you know, I've I've just tried so hard.

And so, you know, throw me a bone, right?

And we we we sound a lot like the older brother in the story, the parable of the prodigal son, like, I slave for you and you didn't give me a party.

What we're actually trying to do in those times, and it's it's not it's often not intentional, it's just sort of our gut reaction or gut instinct, is um we're trying to manipulate God.

I'll give you what you want if if you give me what I want.

But listen to how Jesus talks to his disciples about God in relation to our prayers.

He says, What father among you, if your son asks for a fish, will instead give him a serpent.

Or if he asks for an egg, you'll give him a scorpion.

If you then, who are evil, uh, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly father give you the Holy Spirit for those who ask him?

So the point of this teaching is not God always gives us what we ask for.

But the point is God always gives us good things in response to our prayers.

All right.

We pray for something, God's not, you know, pray for a job.

God doesn't give us unemployment, or, you know, no, you can't have a job, you get cancer.

Our father loves us.

It's like being in that checkout line, and we would say to our children, no, you can't have the candy, but when we get home, I'm gonna make you an awesome, delicious, and nutritious dinner.

You know, when we're kids, what do we want?

We want immediate gratification.

Like, ugh, I don't want a nutritious dinner.

I want a Snickers bar.

That's I mean, that's that's what I say as an adult, but um but as we get older and we have our own kids, or we, you know, we just learn from life, we we we know that immediate gratification isn't always what's best for us.

And and uh often we need someone who knows better than us and can see more broadly than us what is good and right for us.

And and that's exactly the point of this parable.

If you ask for an egg, God's not gonna give you a scorpion.

He may not give you an egg, he may give you something better than an egg.

He may know why you want that egg, and that that egg is actually ruling your heart.

It's actually something you love more than him, and because he is jealous for his name, and because he loves you, he he won't give you that egg.

And through that disappointment, you actually learn your need, your actual need for him.

So God gives us good things, even when he doesn't give us what we long for.

And that that's something that takes a long time to learn because we, many of you, have experienced real suffering and disappointment in this life.

And so, how do we fight?

How do we fight against that disappointment?

One of the best ways I have learned over time and through experience is to learn how to keep watch.

Keeping watch.

This is actually a whole theme in scripture.

This is what Jesus asked his disciples to do in the Garden of Gethsemane the night of his crucifixion.

He says, Will you will you stay up, pray, and watch with me?

Watch for how the Lord will answer your prayer.

It may not be the way you want him to or the what you're specifically asking for, but he will, as a good father, respond to our prayers.

Last week I was having a conversation with someone uh in the lobby about a difficult situation going on with their work.

And they, uh after I listened to them, we were going back and forth.

I said, It just sounds like you're struggling to trust God in this difficult situation, something I could very much um relate with.

And we we ended our conversation.

We came into the sanctuary.

Russ was just getting started with his sermon, and within just a few minutes uh in his sermon on prayer, he was talking about the very thing, very specifically the thing we were talking about out in the lobby.

And um, I will confess to you that I texted her in the middle of the sermon, and this is what I this is what I sent her.

We were just talking about this.

She responds, I know.

And I responded, God really loves you, daughter.

Now, here's the thing: through my own struggles with bitterness, uh, with unanswered prayers and my own struggle suffering, I have learned to watch.

Rather than becoming bitter with the answered prayer God doesn't give me, I have learned to look for God's answers.

Now, what Russ said in her in the sermon didn't fix her problem at work.

But it was a special word to her.

A word that said, I see you, I am with you, I know you what you are going through.

I do want you to trust me in this moment.

But if nothing else, I want you to hear that I see you and I am at work.

Beloved, we need to learn to watch.

If we would live in this world where God is our Father and He is both infinitely powerful and deeply personal, that He loves us as beloved children, how would it change the way we pray?

How would it change the way we go about life today, this week, and every day that follows?

Beloved, prayer is hard.

The deck is stacked against us, our own flesh works against us, the world and the devil fight against us, and yet the triune God is for us.

He loves us.

And though he doesn't always give us what we ask, he gives us good gifts and he loves to do so.

So don't stop asking.

Run to him.

If you have any questions about this sermon, about prayer, or anything else, there'll be someone standing up here to meet and to pray with you.

Let's pray.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, thank you that this is true.

That this is who you are.

Father, we confess that it is it is a struggle when we don't see the answers to our prayers, when we don't see your goodness in the midst of all the brokenness in us and around us.

And so fill us with faith.

Forgive us of our doubts, help us to fight against the world, the flesh, and the devil, and be your beloved children.

We ask in Jesus' name.

Amen.