Healing From Shame And Fractured Identity

Welcome to the Illuminate Church podcast.

We hope today's message is encouraging to you.

Good morning. Good morning.

My name is Valdemir Arnezi. I am a discipleship pastor here

at Illuminate Church. And I'm so glad you came.

I'm so glad that we have people in overflow.

Welcome. We are so glad you were here.

We are in a series named Weeds in my Garden and I want to share

my weed and the name of my weed is Vladimir.

You are laughing. I need to tell you, Vladimir is

not a easy name, is not an easy name.

I can tell you all my life explaining, you know, when you

arrive in a place and what's your name?

Vladimir. What?

Then they used to say Vladimir. Then I said no, no, no,

Vladimir. Oh, Vladimir.

No, Vladimir. You know, we went to Ukraine.

Can you imagine when we were going?

King Landry said, Are you ready, pastor?

Everybody will call you Vladimir for yes.

All my life I was prepared for that.

But you know, sometimes not so easy.

When I arrived in Ukraine, I was saying Vladimir and they were

saying, oh, Vladimir, but how can you understand?

I'm saying Vladimir and they were saying Vladimir.

When I start working at the church tester team, invite me if

I can, you go with me when a meeting with some pastors and I

will introduce you the pastors. And I told him a pastor, let me

alert you, you introduce me as Vladimir.

They will answer Vladimir, then Pastor Tiff.

No, no, no, no. I will speak your name in

Portuguese. Vladimir.

And we arrived there and the first guy came and hey, this is

Pastor Vladimir. Oh, Vladimir.

Pastor team, look at the river. You see, everybody was Vladimir.

Vladimir. Vladimir.

No, no, John the Jo. So all my life I had to explain

or correct when I arrived in a place or someone who is new for

me and it's not so wonderful. I'm good with that today, you

know. But this became a weed and I

spent many years thinking about Can you imagine me with four

years old, five years old, my name is rounding me.

And the guy said what? And you know, when you get

there, the person stopped saying Vladimir.

And when they realize it's Vladimir, they say, Oh, Vladimir

with that faith that it's so uncomfortable.

And if you oh, I am so I I have I spent many times like thinking

about I'm afraid to go to a new place or to meet new people

because when I meet them, they was my name and I'll have to

explain. So this became something my mind

new people, I'll have to say vow there they will say, Oh,

Vladimir. So feeling like shame about my

name and this kind of feelings and emotions can fracture us and

lead our personality and the way we respond.

I was thinking about how can I have a girlfriend?

Can you imagine? Hey, how are you?

My name is Vladimir. You see what you just did?

I was thinking about how I will never have a girlfriend.

In my mind came the idea anyone who accept me can be my

girlfriend. So it's usual to face some

situations in our lives that can fracture our emotions and create

pain and still our mental health.

So we the name of this series is Weeds in My Garden and we are

talking. It's all about mental health and

the way God loves you and how God is working to provide for

you and me health. And many times when we think

about mental health, the first understanding is about clinical

issues. And through this series we want

to address is spiritual issues that leads to mental health

issues. So today we will talk about a

new name, John. Can you imagine you arrive in a

place? What's your name, John?

They will not say, oh, Hallelujah.

No, Joan, just Joan. You see, So the name of this

message today is a new name. When Celia was pregnant, my

wonderful wife, when she was pregnant, she was always

pregnant. I just call her and she was

pregnant. Well, so she when she was

pregnant of ours first son, we were thinking about the name.

Can you imagine your baby? And you think about the name.

And I was just thinking, never Vladimir.

Can you imagine Vladimir Junior? What?

No, no, no, but never Vladimir. And I was just thinking, I need

to find the easy name. He will arrive in a place, he

will say whatever and everybody will understand.

No more questions, you know, name.

No questions. This is what might go.

Wow. I don't know if I have this

experience I had. So we decide for Bruno.

You see. Bruno.

Bruno. Easy.

Oh, Bruno 2 ends 2B2R No, no, no.

Bruno. What's your name?

Bruno, I have never this experience in my life.

What's your name? Vladimir. 15 minutes.

Oh, Vladimir. So Bruno.

We decide his name will be Bruno.

He will never face what I face. And every place, every place he

will arrive, he will never explain about his name.

Luca, it's simple. Don't listen to stupid Bruno.

Why is his name Bruno? I don't care.

It doesn't matter. Cover whatever you want.

Shut him up. Say Silencio Bruno.

Silencio Bruno. Louder.

Silencio Bruno. Silencio Bruno.

Silencio Bruno. Silencio Bruno.

Can you still hear it? Nope.

Just you. Good.

Now hang on. Celine.

Ciao, Bruno. And that's not all.

Thank you so much, Disney. Every place Bruno arrives.

Bruno. We don't talk about Bruno.

We can take care and try to cover everything, but we always

can face unexpected things in our lives.

I did my best. I prayed with my wife to find a

name and we decide the same at Disney.

Bruno. 2 movies in a row. Celencia, Bruno.

Stupid Bruno. We don't talk.

We can try to cover everything in our lives, everything we can

do, but sometimes or many times we can face what we were not

expecting. Life just happens and unexpected

things can change our lives and I'm sure most of us experienced

change in our lives. The impact of your choices or

the choices that others make for you can impact to fracture you

and create wounds, and the wounds can create different

behaviors. Let me introduce you, a person

who designed to live under fractures.

Wait, have you? Been in here.

Patching the cracks. Oh, that.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm too scared to go near those

things. All the patching's done by

Hernando. Who is Hernando?

I'm Hernando, and I'm scared of nothing.

It's actually me, I say. My real gift was acting.

I'm holy. I made to sparkle.

How long have you been back here?

You never left. Hi, Hernando, I am Jorge.

You see, Hernando and Jorge were who could deal with the cracks.

When he was Fernando, I am Fernando, it was me.

When he came back, it was me. Fractures can lead our lives.

I know it's funny, but at the same time it's terrible and for

sure not healthy. The movie shows that bad

experience usually create fractures and this guy in the

movie he developed weird behaviors to solve the cracks of

his life. Just being Hernando or Jorge, he

could face that things and many times you receive this false,

true, you cannot handle the things in your life because you

are not that person. You cannot handle because you

don't know how to use that. We don't have some tools.

The fracture, look at this, the fracture in his life led him to

prefer isolation, to prefer. He didn't like it did that, but

he preferred isolation. He preferred to be apart from

his family that he loved because of the fracture.

He preferred to be with rats. Did you see the rats?

He preferred close to the family but living with rats Sometimes

we didn't leave our houses, we didn't leave the family, but we

prefer the rats. Who are the rats?

How many divorce came from from fractures?

Adultery in the family but preferring the rats?

Pornography. I'm the family, close to the

family, but I prefer the rats. How many conversations between

parents and kids? Spouse broke, broken because of

the fracture, the fracture leading what you will do.

So I love the family, but because of the fracture, I'm

living with rats. So we become who the fractures

says we are. At the Bible we see a lot of

names with meaning, but sometimes their lives were not

going according according to their names, meaning Naomi.

In the Old Testament, Naomi means my sweetness much better

than Vladimir. What's your name?

Naomi, you know, So Naomi means my sweetness.

But her life faced some really hard impacts.

Naomi she had her husband and two sons and her husband died

passed and right after her husband passed her two sons

passed as well. Naomi she decide my name is not

Naomi anymore. My name is Mara.

I'm speaking the names in Portuguese because it's easier

for me, maybe in English mirror, you know, but for me it's Mara.

And Naomi said don't call me Naomi anymore, my sweetness.

Now my name is Mara, my bitterness.

So call me my bitterness. This is my name.

And first thing she did after change her name, she said to her

daughters in law. Daughters in law.

Hey, go back to your father's house.

Leave me alone. Fractures works.

Fractures work to lead you to be alone.

So, Naomi, just change her name. The fractures decide who I am.

And now I am Mara. I am my bitterness.

So we have other Bible characters who change their

names. And I want to talk with you

today about the story of Mary Bao.

Mary Bao. It's also in Portuguese.

He was not Brazilian, but so Mary Bao.

Mary Bao means the one who opposes Bao.

And Bao was a idol, bad idol in Israel and his father gave his

name like Mary Bao, the one who opposes Bao.

Strong guy. I am here to protect what Lord

said I am against this idol strong enough.

Can you feel that? What's her name?

Mary Bao, you know the one who opposes Bao many Bao.

He was look at this, he was son of Jonathan.

Jonathan was the son of the King Saul, the king of Israel.

So he was the grandson of the king and the king Saul.

He betrayed the Lord and he went to a battle and when he when he

was in that battle, he was killed.

So the king saw was killed. Same battle, his son Jonathan,

Mary Bao's father was also killed.

When the news arrived at the Mary Bao's house, the nurse

listen, all this terrible news, she took Mary Bao.

He was 5 at that time. She took Mary Bow and start

running. When she was running she dropped

Mary Bow. Mary Bow broke his feet and

could never walk again. He lost family.

He lost grandfather, father, he lost the Kingdom, he lost the

place you were living, he lost everything and this became

reality. And none of this were his fault.

After Saul, Saul the king Saul died, David, who was best friend

of Jonathan, Medibao's father Dave, who became the king, Dave

was best friend of Jonathan. And Dave mourn this death of

Saul and especially his friend Jonathan.

And he decide to do something. And I invite you to open your

Bible in Second Samwell Chapter 9.

If you don't have a Bible here on the overflow, just raise your

hand. The ushers will help you here in

front. Second Samuel Chapter 9.

2 Samuel 9 · chapter mention

Second Samuel Chapter 9. We will read verse 1 to 8 to

2 Samuel 9 · chapter mention

Second Samuel Chapter 9. Dave asked, Is there anyone

2 Samuel 9 · chapter mention

still left of the House of Saul to whom I can show kindness for

Jonathan's sake? Now there was a servant of

Saul's household named Zeba. They summoned him to appear

before Dave, and the king said to him, Are you Zeba at your

service? He replied.

The king asked. Is there no one still alive from

the House of Saul to whom I can show God's kindness?

Zeba answered the king. There is still a son of

Jonathan. He is laying in both feet.

Where is he? The king asked.

Zeba answered. He is at the House of Mercur in

Portuguese. He's the House of Mercur, son of

Amiel in Lou de Bar, almost Vladimir.

So, so King Dave had him brought from Lodibar from the House of

Marquis, son of Amiel. When Mephibosheth son of

Jonathan, the son of Saul, came today, he bowed down to pay him

honor. Dave said Mephibosheth.

Let me tell you something, this guy is Mary Bao.

When he arrived, Dave call him Mephibosheth.

Dave didn't call him Mehriba, he called him Mephibosheth and the

guy answered at your service. He replied.

Don't be afraid, Dave said to him, For I will surely show you

kindness. For the sake of your father,

Jonathan, I will restore to you all the land that belong to your

grandfather's soul, and you will always eat at my table.

Mephibosheth bowed down and said, What is your servant?

That you should notice a dead dog like me.

A dead dog like me, that's pretty low self esteem.

And that's the problem with self esteem.

It's based in self esteem is what we need, but it's the self

that's the problem. So esteem.

Esteem means to have respect and a demeration, but it's hard to

have that for yourself when you know what you are going through,

what what you did. The dead sting can be the weeds

in my garden and we invite you to work to receive the restored

new self esteem coming from the Lord in Jesus name, Amen.

Can you say a better Amen? Now you're good.

So let's talk about self esteem. It's important to identify who

is the self so we don't use to change our names would be

amazing. Vowdermil to John, Can you

imagine three days after I was born, my dad think about oh,

it's not good, let's change to John.

Oh, he didn't. But we don't use to change our

name names. But a lot of times we identify

ourselves in our soul and emotions by the experience or

traumas we had, the fractures. So I'm not sweet anymore, I'm

bitter. Call me bitter.

I'm deciding my new life is bitter.

I'm not the one who opposes Bow the idol, the dead idol.

I am the one who everything opposed to me.

Then under these fractures we receive the bad self esteem.

Hebrews 12/15 says look after the Bible is amazing.

It's not in Hebrews 12/15 I'm telling you the Bible is.

I mean every time you open your Bible something is going to

happen. God is talking with you.

So Hebrews 12/15 says look after each other so that none of you

fails to receive the grace of God.

Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grow up to trouble

you corrupting many. So in the Hebrew culture any

poisonous plant was called bitter plant.

So something we eat or allow to enter in US and become the bad

self esteem. So maybe you received a

nickname, sometimes a terrible one that you hated or

automatically open an emotion door to become another person

and to develop behaviors and decisions under the decisions

under this concept or fracture yourself esteem.

And we need to consider, look at this.

We need to consider we have an enemy and the Bible says he is

not just an enemy against your finances or against your health,

against your future plans. The Bible says the enemy is

against and he is the enemy of our soul.

He wants to devour who we are. He wants to devour your esteem

first. Peter 58 says be alert and of

sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls

around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Let's think about this. The enemy plays like a lion the

way we we are. We are reading here.

But he prowls around, you know what?

Prowls around like you know. But why?

This noise means that he's stronger than you.

He's trying to say that so you feel weak under him.

He wants to devour who you are, so he prowls.

You cannot do this. The fractures many times

fragilize, make you fragile, make you weak, make us weak in

our soul, and we open a new understanding.

You know Vladimir, You know what means a name that you have to

explain to every No, no, no. So Vladimir means governor.

I cannot have power even to explain my name.

So how I am governor, if people cannot understand, cannot

understand my name. So in my mind, I decide I'll not

talk with anybody, I'll not talk with people, I'll not say my

name. I'm shame of my name.

And you know, God gave me something.

God gave me something to talk with people.

I talk with people even when they don't want to talk with me.

I like to be in a place, I like to talk with people.

I like to be in new place, even in new language.

When I went to Ukraine and said, hey, what are you saying?

I don't know. I'm trying to say speak your

language. This is the calling that God

gave to me. But how can I be this if I am

Vowdermere, nobody can understand my name.

So the fractures trying to live my life, the fractures trying to

say who I am, Are you following me?

This is my calling. I love to talk with people.

Pastor Tim. Tim just said to make disciples.

It's amazing. You talk with someone and they

say something to you and you can lead them to Jesus.

The best thing ever. So the fractures and the lion

try to proud around to make us feel we are weak, we are under

that fracture. And this passage says be alert

and of sober mind. I need to tell you this, the

Greek word for sober mind is nepsati is also in Portuguese

nepsati, which means look at this, be of sound judgment with

the Spirit for the purpose of prayer.

So be alert and sober mind. Sober mind means I see what the

enemy is doing with the Spirit to pray.

I will pray. I will not be under the

emotions. I will pray Nepsat sober mind.

The enemy's way is to lie to us, but you know he does not use the

way they I will destroy you. So I want to talk with you about

the enemy's strategy. Are you ready?

So he tried to act as you, saying to you your feelings that

you don't have, trying to convince you.

So he comes after you and say he is saying I am rejected.

And we feel these thoughts came from our hearts.

It's not this is the threat. A lot of things that we think

came from that the fractures that happened.

God can help us and he's saying there's no way for me.

He's saying there's no way for me.

He's saying and we live and death thinking about we are

thinking about this. I am thinking this kind of

thoughts. Are you following me?

So he comes and say I am rejected and we feel it's me.

He's saying if you are at I4 wonderful place, a lot of people

there OK or Disney lines, you have 3 hours to get that place

and someone close to you says to you I am rejected if Oh no God

loves you you know, but the enemies tries try to speak as

you. So you think that you are

thinking about this by yourself? Are you following me?

I'm trying to speak Portuguese. So he's saying I am rejected.

Nobody want to be with me. He's saying I'm not good enough

for my family, for this place. I need to run out of my life.

It's not your thoughts. He's I need to get out of here.

My life means disgrace. Everything in my life is

terrible, my life. He's saying that the enemy is

working to create thoughts, but I need to tell you that thoughts

are not yours. Thought have you ever listened

this kind of thoughts? Please in Jesus name consider

the truth. Pray to hear God's voice and not

the enemy's voice acting as you two wonderful actions to

practice. Submit and resist.

Can you say with me to be listened in Brazil?

Submit and resist. OK 123 perfection, submit and

resist. James chapter 4 verse 7 says

James 4:7

submit yourselves then to God, resist the devil and he will

flee from you. Are you receiving this submit

yourself then to God, submit to God.

You know what means submit to God is I'm reading the Bible and

wow, he's saying that I'm submitting my life to this

submit yourself. Oh, I'm learning about God's

love. He sent his son.

He said his son to die for you. He loves you.

I will submit my life under this love.

So the the way to fight is submit yourselves under to God.

So I will learn you need to read the Bible.

You need to know our God so you can submit and practice that you

are coming to church where listen the message so submit

yourselves to God. I'm hearing that from the Lord.

I will submit my life for this. You know this is the way.

Then the second step, resist the devil is not resist the devil

alone, but submit to God and resist the devil.

Can you imagine you're reading the Bible this evening?

How many healing are coming from you?

Just because you are deciding? I will.

I will read and I will submit. I will not just know the

information, but I will submit. God said everything is possible.

I will submit my life, everything is possible.

I will see my family change. I will see the blessings on the

Lord come into my life. I will see because he said it's

possible. I sue me.

Then the second step, resist. Resist the devil.

It's amazing. Resist and he will flee from

you. The guy will remove.

He will flee from you. This is the Bible.

How do you resist when you listen the voice, I'm rejected,

I'm not good enough. This year is going to be

terrible. Everything is saying is going to

be terrible. God said that.

Resist, Submit to God and resist.

Stand against. Nobody loves you.

God said that resist so let's start to resist.

Ephesians 611 says put on the full armor of God so that you

can take your stand against the devil schemes put on the full

armor of God. So I want to pray for us now.

Just. Rejecting that voice, do you

agree with me? Lord, in Jesus name we are in

your house. We don't want that voice

anymore. We understood that this is a

strategy from the enemy and in Jesus name we are against this.

We submit our lives to you. We want to learn from you.

We want to learn more about your love.

We want to learn more about your way because we are deciding to

submit to you. This next week is going to be a

God's week in our life because we want to submit our next week

to you in Jesus name. And now Lord, we resist the

enemy. We resist the enemy all the

lies. We don't want that lies.

We ask you Holy Spirit, come and take all the lies from my soul.

Come Holy Spirit and clean my mind because I want to submit.

Today I decide to submit my life to you as my only God and I need

your thoughts in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen. Maybe praise the Lord.

Maybe you arrived here today, or you were watching online, or at

the overflow, and the fractures of your life came like Mehdi

Bao, a dead dog. He was naming himself by dead

dog, but King Dave called him Mephibosheth.

And you know what Mephibosheth means.

No more shame. No more shame.

We need a new name. Completely disconnect with all

the lies the enemy is saying. And I believe God is leading you

this morning to give you a new name.

No more shame. Amen.

Can I ask you something? Do you trust me?

You are crazy so please stand up and find one person can be your

family, the person you came with.

Find one person and be in front of this person that is close to

you. Just one person and I will give

you instructions. So today we will do something

here with a spiritual meaning. Are you following me with a

spiritual meaning? I know I'm always funny, I'm

vulnerable, but now we will do something that will be recorded

in our spiritual helm. So I will give you how you do

this, but you will introduce yourself to that person and you

say to that person, nice to meet you.

My name is no more shame. Are you ready?

Go. Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Amen. Welcome to Illuminate Church.

No more shame. We are so glad you came.

Amen. Amen.

I want to close I want to close this message reading 2nd

Corinthians 517. You can still be stand 2nd

Corinthians 517. Therefore look at this.

Therefore, if any words, it's amazing if anyone is in Christ,

the new creation has come, the old has gone, the new is here.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, if anyone is in Christ

and the Bible says if you believe that Jesus is the Son of

God, if you believe in your heart and you speak in your

mouth, you receive the new life he he brings to you, he has for

you. So I just want to invite you to

pray this morning to receive Jesus as your Savior.

Amen. If you believe in your heart and

you will speak in your mouth, you will receive.

So I invite everybody to pray with me.

Repeat with me. Lord, this morning I want to say

that you are the Son of God. Jesus are the Son of God, and I

receive you as my Savior. I need you in my life and I give

my life to you. I pray in Jesus name, Amen,

Amen. Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Amen,

Amen. If you, we have something for

you, if you did that prayer for the very first time in your

life, receiving Jesus as a Savior, we want to pray for you.

And I ask you to just raise your hand most high level you can.

We want to pray for you. Amen, Lord.

Lord, thank you. Thank you for your salvation.

Thank you for the way you are leading our lives.

We want to submit to you. We want to submit our lives to

you and resist the enemy because you are the only one who can

provide us life. Today we receive the name no

more shame and we want to walk with you.

We pray in Jesus name, Amen. Thanks for joining us today.

We hope God is speaking to your heart through this message.

If you'd like to connect with us, you can text connect to

407-588-0115 or visit Illuminate dot church.

Have a great week.