Sermon

A New Way to Family... (Luke 8:19-21) - Podcast Episode 24

Kortright Church

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  1. Hey, friend, Welcome to another episode of the KPC Podcast, and

  2. we hope that this finds you enjoying your week this summer

  3. week. Whether you're listening on

  4. Monday, that would be ambitious because we're just recording

  5. this on Monday. So if you're listening on

  6. Monday, like, well done. Very likely later on in your

  7. week, which we realize is a wonderful thing.

  8. So I've got Elena with me and a welcome back.

  9. This is like Round 2 for you. Yeah.

  10. Great. Yeah, thanks coming back.

  11. This is really fun, glad to do it again.

  12. So we're going to jump into a conversation on Luke, chapter 8,

    Luke 8 chapter mention

  13. three verses only. It was 19/20/21, which is

  14. Jesus's redefining of what family looks like inside the

  15. Kingdom. And it's a really pared down

  16. version in Luke of other accounts, like Mark has this

  17. account. It's a lot longer in Luke.

  18. It's just really small. So I'm going to read it and then

  19. we've got some questions. We received a few questions from

  20. folks in the congregation, which is great.

  21. And so we're going to tackle some of those and then I think

  22. have a few questions to hopefully help you continue to

  23. have your own discussions around these these verses.

  24. And I think in this sense that the challenge we were talking

  25. about this ahead of recording, Elena, you mentioned like the

  26. challenge to really wrestle with how this, you know, if you call

  27. yourself a follower of Jesus and if you're trying to live your

  28. life inside of community, how it challenges you kind of

  29. regardless of what your relationship to family has been,

  30. whether it's good or bad, whether it's fraught with

  31. conflict or whether it's full of love and joy for most people,

  32. somewhere in between it. This really challenges, I think

  33. many of us in our understanding of what family is, what it is

  34. inside the Kingdom and how we're to act toward one another.

  35. Like it changes our relationships inside the church.

  36. And so all that we're going to get into all of it.

  37. Let me read the passage 1st and and then we can jump in.

  38. So I preached from the NIV. I'm going to read from the ESV.

  39. And so there's a few words that are different.

  40. Probably don't need to touch on that, but this is what it sounds

  41. like in the ESV. So then his mother and his

  42. brothers came to him, but they could not reach him because of

  43. the crowd. And he was told Your mother and

  44. brothers are standing outside desiring to see you.

  45. But he answered them. My mother and my brothers are

  46. those who hear the word of God and do it.

  47. Yeah, great. So we are going to write jump

  48. right in with a question we received on e-mail.

  49. So thank you so much for everyone continuing to send in

  50. those questions to us. This person said that you used

  51. that bonded set analogy in the sermon, especially in the

  52. context of golf, and you touched on it.

  53. But can you expand on the church community?

  54. We Christians are often accused of setting up what is similar to

  55. this bonded set. You are now in the club and

  56. there are expectations. How can we overcome that

  57. perception that there is this checklist of things that we have

  58. to take off in order to be in? And also how can we walk

  59. alongside friends who might consciously or unconsciously set

  60. up those boundaries or those checklists?

  61. So can you expand on that a bit? Yeah, couple questions for us to

  62. discuss within the one within the one question, right.

  63. I, I love that somebody's wrestling this out because I

  64. think that and I like, I wasn't hard on churches so much in the

  65. in the sermon, like directly. Yeah, but I think it's really

  66. easy for people to see that churches can fall into that

  67. bounded set mentality of like group organization.

  68. And you know, I gave the I gave the caveat like the disclaimer,

  69. I'm like, I'm not a mathematician.

  70. I realize like, you know, this is there's some math involved

  71. here on, you know, at, at at like a theory level with these,

  72. these terms, but just very simply for those people who

  73. might be listening who or watching who don't, who didn't

  74. see the sermon or don't understand.

  75. So, so bounded set is a way of talking about groups that

  76. organize together. So this is within mathematics

  77. and like set theory, we're not going to get into that.

  78. It's also used by sociologists to talk about how groups of

  79. people organize together, and that's sort of what I lean into

  80. more. Feels more like our domain as as

  81. a church. So if you picture a box and for

  82. those of you who are listening, I'm drawing a box with my hands

  83. here. But like picture a box and it's

  84. very clear if you are a member of the community, you're inside

  85. the box. And if you're not a member of

  86. the community, you're outside the box.

  87. And the box is very clear. Like it's, it's bold, like bold

  88. lines, clear delineation, very clear expectations on what gets

  89. you membership within and what excludes you from membership on

  90. the outside. So you can start to think like

  91. churches fall into this, this way of organizing.

  92. Yeah, somewhat, maybe somewhat naturally in some sense.

  93. But like, I think it's problematic that we do where

  94. it's perceived that there are insiders and outsiders and it's

  95. very clear who those insiders and outsiders are.

  96. So one of the criticisms that I received early on in my

  97. ministry. And so like, this was my first

  98. church. I had somebody invite me out for

  99. lunch and like, I won't, you know, absolutely would would

  100. never share the name of this person, right?

  101. But like had somebody invite me out for lunch and sit me down

  102. and explain to me why I needed to be wearing a suit and tie,

  103. OK. And preaching.

  104. So, you know, like this was very important to this person that I

  105. dress a certain way and look a certain way when I preach.

  106. And I understand that there are some people who still like

  107. probably in our own congregation would, would lean in that

  108. direction, right? But it gave me an opportunity to

  109. say this person listen, like what you might see as haphazard,

  110. like I do very intentionally. So I wear jeans or like

  111. whatever, like khaki pants, whatever I'm wearing.

  112. But like, I don't wear a suit, like, right, I don't wear a

  113. suit. I don't wear a collar.

  114. Like some many clergy wear collars.

  115. I don't do that on a Sunday. And I don't do it for a very

  116. specific reason. And the reason is that I want

  117. anybody to be able to walk in and see from the start that goes

  118. on the plaque, those people on the platform who are leading

  119. look like me. Yeah.

  120. Like there's an immediate ability to to identify with

  121. those of us who are leading. Yeah.

  122. And so I want somebody to walk in and feel like, oh, this is a

  123. place that I can belong before I believe.

  124. And that is like the main idea, I think, that pushes us away

  125. from being a bounded set. So bounded set would be you need

  126. to believe the same thing as us and prove it or demonstrate it

  127. before you can belong. It's a qualifier for belonging

  128. that you believe the certain theological doctrines.

  129. You have the same language, you dress and look, maybe dress and

  130. look a certain way as part of it.

  131. But those things become the qualifiers for membership, like

  132. for belonging, for being a part of the community.

  133. Hmm. And what we want to say is no,

  134. none of it is. You can belong here before you

  135. believe the certain things, like believe the same things we

  136. believe before you, even before you behave certain ways, right,

  137. Which is some language that that's not my language, like

  138. there's a language that other churches use as well, but that

  139. your, your belief can change. We understand that and can

  140. shift. And it doesn't need to be

  141. exactly what we believe before you can belong.

  142. And neither do you need to, you know, behave certain ways before

  143. you can belong. You can show up.

  144. So I, you know, I want someone to walk in the door to the

  145. church because they feel like that's the place they need to be

  146. and they don't immediately feel like they're faced with, oh, I

  147. don't fit in here. I don't belong because of what

  148. they are wearing or because of the baggage that they're

  149. carrying in because of any number of different reasons,

  150. right? So I think the bounded set, like

  151. we can look like a bounded set in some ways, right?

  152. We have expectations on members. Like, I expect that people who

  153. are in like if you are in, if you call yourself a Christian,

  154. if you've, you know, made a public profession of faith, if

  155. you've joined as a member officially, if you've been

  156. baptized, like there are expectations on our community to

  157. live a certain way, but they're not barriers to entry into the

  158. community. And I think that's the that's

  159. the distinction between the two. So we're what I would like to

  160. call us would be centre set, which is that we're all, we're

  161. all facing Jesus. We're moving in that direction.

  162. You know, we're going to be at different distances from the

  163. centre. Yeah.

  164. But what's more important to me is that your heart and your

  165. intention is directed toward Jesus.

  166. You're moving in that in that direction and that matters more

  167. than what you wear on a Sunday or what you're able to prove to

  168. me that you believe what what scripture you've memorized.

  169. Like memorizing Scripture is a great thing to do, but none of

  170. that will be like, hey, like we got to check your like Jesus

  171. card at the door before you can enter into who we are and what

  172. we do and how we worship. No, like we want, we want you

  173. here. Yeah.

  174. And you can belong. So the difference is, is it a

  175. barrier to entry or not? Yeah, That's what I think the

  176. major difference is. And then once you're in, I go,

  177. yeah, expectations. Like I have expectations on our

  178. on our people. Yeah, I expect, and I'm going to

  179. give this plug because you won't.

  180. But like kids, men, I expect like when we baptize baby,

  181. right. So I had to I had this

  182. conversation with somebody this weekend and this this individual

  183. was saying like, hey, like if you, if you, if you stand up

  184. there as part of the church and promise to help raise this kid,

  185. like shouldn't you also be volunteering in Sunday school?

  186. And like, yes, absolutely. So like here's this guy who's

  187. like, you know, he's like their family, they're all in and

  188. volunteering and love it. I'm not also not going to share

  189. the name of this person, but like this was this was the his,

  190. his point was like, you know, we as a congregation, we make

  191. commitments to our kids to help raise them.

  192. They should be teaching Sunday school.

  193. Like they should be volunteering.

  194. And also I'll give that plug because your kids been director

  195. and you're always looking for more volunteers, people who are

  196. going to be invested and buy into our culture and how we are

  197. here, how we are with the kids. Like, you know, we're going to

  198. ask certain things out of you if you're volunteering.

  199. There are expectations, but it's not like it's it's not a barrier

  200. to entry into the community. Same with tithing.

  201. Like, you know, I think I say when when we talk about our

  202. tithes and offerings, it I do expect that like it's it is

  203. biblical to talk about and have an expectation around tithe and

  204. not like tithes and offering. Yeah, but it's not like a

  205. Netflix subscription that buys you privilege.

  206. And again, there's another difference.

  207. So is it a barrier to entry or not?

  208. Are people excluded because they do certain things or not?

  209. Like that would be bounded set. And does it buy you privilege

  210. again? So now we're talking more

  211. bounded set. So, you know, we go through

  212. lengths here so that almost nobody knows what anybody gives.

  213. Like that's very important. And so like, I like me as lead

  214. pastor, I don't know what individuals give.

  215. And and that's like, I will never know.

  216. Like that's not, it's something I'm very like very adamant

  217. about. And we're very, very like,

  218. there's very specific policies that we follow for our

  219. denomination around all of this. So so that it's not like, well,

  220. that person gives X number of dollars, we better make sure

  221. they're happy. Yeah.

  222. Otherwise they might leave and then we might lose their money,

  223. right. Like that's the kind of dark

  224. hole that it goes down. But again, tithing is it's an

  225. expectation that you are financially invested in this

  226. thing, but it doesn't buy you privilege.

  227. It doesn't get you an extra vote.

  228. And what matters is the heart posture that you take as you do

  229. it. Again, like their scripture all

  230. through this, but like cents, dollars, hundreds of dollars,

  231. thousands of dollars, Like what matters is that you're convicted

  232. by God to do this thing and to respond because God asks it of

  233. you. It doesn't buy you any

  234. privilege. So yeah, barrier of entry,

  235. that's a good way to talk about it.

  236. Privilege also a good way to talk about it.

  237. And that's where you can start picking apart the difference

  238. between what would be bounded set.

  239. Is this excluding inside or outside our language or is it

  240. centre set? Is it about right and good

  241. expectations of how we are to live together?

  242. Because again, they get the gospel ought to convict us to

  243. live differently. So we live differently and that

  244. requires doing things. But it's not going to get you

  245. entry. It's not going to get you

  246. privileged. It's not going to get you like

  247. extra time with like a pastor or whatever.

  248. Yeah. It's just that's not how we

  249. roll. So I think that's some of my

  250. language around answering that question and distinguishing

  251. between the. Two, yeah.

  252. And I think you did a good job on Sunday when you were

  253. explaining how in the culture that Jesus was in, it was almost

  254. like those hard lines around entry because it was lineage.

  255. If you were a descendant of this tribe, Abraham, you know, you

  256. could trace your lineage. You were very clearly in this

  257. family or outside of this family.

  258. And there was really not, yeah, that kind of cross crossing over

  259. in or out. And Jesus then comes and with

  260. the statement he, he does break down that barrier to entry that

  261. was purely blood and family. But then with that, he opens it

  262. up. He opens up that that idea of

  263. anyone can come in. But he also issues a challenge

  264. there because there is like you saying, there is that

  265. expectation it is those who hear God's word and puts it into

  266. practice. And we might even tie that back

  267. a bit to the parable of the sower, which we looked at a

  268. while ago, where it is not just hearing, but it is it taking

  269. root inside of you and it producing something.

  270. So I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more around

  271. that idea of why is it hard sometimes to to hear and do and

  272. how those two things have to go together?

  273. Sure. So this is great and I

  274. appreciate that you took us back to the sewer because that like

  275. this really in some way is the conclusion to that.

  276. Like I didn't call it that in the sermon, but I think there

  277. was 1 iteration of my sermon. There was an early draft where I

  278. had, you know, essentially set it up as like this.

  279. It's a three-part series miniseries that we did really on

  280. the same idea, which is the parable of the Sower.

  281. And it starts in, in eight, 1:00-ish.

  282. But I think 4 is when we're really into the, the actual

  283. parable. But from the beginning of

  284. chapter 8, we've got the parable of the sower and then Jesus

  285. teaching about parables, the purpose of, of them.

  286. And then we had the, the lamp under a jar.

  287. Like nobody lights a lamp and then hides it away.

  288. So again, like that's the language developing the language

  289. of the parable in many ways. And then we've got the Jesus

  290. mother and brothers. So it's it's really 3 moves that

  291. Luke is making and wants us as readers to see all connected

  292. together. That it is about like Jesus is

  293. making three times in a row this same point that what matters is

  294. your heart posture that you are receptive and wonder and

  295. question and think and contemplate hope for all of

  296. those things like that you essentially that you are

  297. remaining open enough to what Jesus is speaking so that it

  298. lands and in the gardening language it takes root right in

  299. the lamp language. You're not hiding it and in this

  300. language of of Jesus mother and brothers you, you're hearing it

  301. and doing it. I think what is pushed a little

  302. bit forward in this final section is so when I look at

  303. those 3 movements, I see in the parable of the sower, Jesus

  304. talks about us hearing the word and and receiving it in a way

  305. that transforms us. And really so at the end it

  306. says, you know, As for that, that is As for the seed in the

  307. good soil, there are those who hearing the word, the word, hold

  308. it fast in an honest and good heart and bear fruit with

  309. patience. So it's this idea of allowing

  310. the word of God and we can talk different ways about that.

  311. Jesus here, I think, is talking both about his own teaching and

  312. himself as the word of God. So in John One, that's how Jesus

  313. is himself described. So it really in receiving, in

  314. receiving the teaching of the Kingdom and in receiving the

  315. Kingdom, ultimately what we're talking about is receiving

  316. Jesus. Yeah.

  317. So you can't receive the teaching of Jesus without also

  318. receiving Jesus. You can't live into the Kingdom

  319. of Jesus without accepting who he is.

  320. Like all of like it is synonymous.

  321. Jesus is the Kingdom come and he is his teachings embodied.

  322. So I think it's about allowing the teaching of Jesus, the

  323. Kingdom who he is to, to hold fast to take root in your life

  324. in a way that starts to transform it.

  325. And then in in the lamp under a jar, he goes and immediately

  326. says, take care. Then how you hear.

  327. So again, he's he's, he's pushing forward this idea that

  328. how you hear, how you listen, how you are intentional about

  329. about doing that matters. And it it becomes important to

  330. not, you know, light a lamp and then just stifle it, like put it

  331. under like it needs the right environment to to remain lit,

  332. but it also requires intentionality there.

  333. Like you, you are intentional about lighting a lamp and

  334. putting it where it is to be seen and useful and helpful.

  335. It actually does something. And in the same way, he says,

  336. hey, like, listen, like this isn't just for you, right?

  337. You're not, you're not a lamp lit just for your own sake.

  338. It's not just so you can look good, Like, hey, look at

  339. everybody looking at me. It is to do something like

  340. there's a purpose to it. And then here in the mother and

  341. brothers, what what he says is. At the end of the day, like,

  342. yeah, yeah, the most privileged relationship that you could

  343. think of in that day. In many ways, he now alters to

  344. say this is how important hearing and doing inside of the

  345. Kingdom is. Like it represents being mother

  346. and brother, like it represents being family.

  347. So, so like it's almost like Jesus saying, I get this through

  348. your head. There's nothing more important

  349. than this because there's, there's no, there's no familial

  350. bond, there's no lineage, There's no, you know, piece of

  351. who you are that that really defines who you are greater than

  352. your relationship to Jesus. So I think that's the piece.

  353. It's a, it's a flip on, on identity in some ways and on

  354. understanding who we are and what's most important about us.

  355. So the the piece of hope that I hope that I hope that I really

  356. wanted people to hear in it as well, is that Jesus is taking,

  357. and you alluded to this, Jesus is taking something very

  358. specific and almost impossible to breakdown or break into.

  359. Like you're not changing your family of origin.

  360. You're not changing your lineage.

  361. Like that's not, we don't do that.

  362. Like it's like it just is what it is.

  363. And Jesus is saying like, alright, like we're not going to

  364. think about membership into family inside the community,

  365. inside the the Kingdom of God as that strict and limiting.

  366. It's actually that's blown open to anybody and everybody who

  367. hears the word and then acts on it.

  368. So I think my mind can go to like it is like it's another

  369. thing to do or it's A to do list or it's a checklist or it's how

  370. do I know I'm doing good enough? Is there, do I have to pass a

  371. test? Like how do I prove that I know

  372. it? What does doing it actually look

  373. like? Do I have to do it all the time?

  374. Like what if I forget and like, what if I fail?

  375. What if I fall like all of those things and when really it's

  376. intended to be this hope filled realization of oh anybody.

  377. This is open to anybody now amazing.

  378. It doesn't matter what your lineage is.

  379. In other words, it doesn't matter what your history is, no

  380. matter what your past is like this is for everybody.

  381. And that in my mind I go, OK, so that that's just grace and

  382. hopeful and, um, blown wide open as opposed to being really pared

  383. down. The early church really wrestled

  384. with us, right? Yeah.

  385. So like I was flipping over to Galatians earlier just just

  386. quickly because like the early church really wrestled with.

  387. OK, so the Jesus Jesus called Jewish followers.

  388. Now eventually what we see is the the churches is expanded and

  389. includes Gentile believers. And then you get this conflict

  390. be like the Jewish Christians are like no, you got to become

  391. Jewish 1st and then become Christian.

  392. And Paul's got to wrestle this out with some of his early

  393. churches. And that's where we get that

  394. great line where Paul's writing to this church in Galatia, who

  395. would be a mixed group of like Jewish Christians, non Jewish

  396. Christians, everybody trying to live life together.

  397. And he he says now that faith has come, we are no longer under

  398. a guardian for in Christ Jesus you are all he uses sons of God

  399. through faith. But this is just this is

  400. language of family. For as many of you as we're

  401. baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

  402. There is no, he says no longer Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor

  403. free male, female, you're all one in Christ Jesus.

  404. So he says a lot of the things that used to gain membership.

  405. So here we're talking like in in other words, church.

  406. These are categories of privilege and non privilege.

  407. Yeah, right. These are categories that used

  408. to buy, for lack of a better word, or gain you entry into a

  409. community. So it's not about it's not about

  410. your heritage or your Greek, doesn't matter.

  411. What matters is that you've been baptized into Christ.

  412. You put on Christ one of those would have been seen as

  413. privileged, right? So the Jewish community of

  414. Christians thought themselves privileged over the Gentile

  415. community of Christians. Slave or free, same thing, male

  416. or female. Like none of these things gain

  417. you anything or lose you anything.

  418. What matters is that you've been baptized into Christ and have

  419. put on Christ in Paul's language.

  420. So you've heard the Word and you've begun doing it.

  421. Yeah. In other words.

  422. Right. And again, this is like one of

  423. the things that could have included in the sermon didn't

  424. make it in. There's lots that always doesn't

  425. make it in. Yeah, but Paul's not saying that

  426. there's, you know, no longer things that that are distinct

  427. about us. Yeah.

  428. Like he's not saying destroy every category and, you know,

  429. forget everything that once was. But he's saying that these these

  430. these categories that at one point you thought gained you

  431. something inside of a religious community no longer gain you

  432. anything inside the religious community.

  433. What matters is your your, your union with Christ.

  434. What matters is that and in that language that you've put on

  435. Christ, that you've heard the word in Jesus's language and

  436. you're trying to do it. You're wrestling it out.

  437. Yeah. And in that, in that

  438. redefinition of family from Jesus, I think there's so much

  439. like hope. I was just thinking, you know,

  440. that this this would give hope to to the slave, to the Gentile,

  441. to those who had been on the outside.

  442. And even in our modern contacts, we think of those as we're

  443. talking about family. Our families are so complicated.

  444. There is so much brokenness. There are those who are

  445. estranged from their biological families who have never known

  446. that kind of intact close love in the family and Jesus, that's

  447. such a for me is such a profound hope that he's he's opening this

  448. up. He's saying you are now my

  449. mother and my brother and you are one with me and you are part

  450. of this family now and there's that that hope in that.

  451. But then we can also see there how on the other side, there are

  452. those of us who have been privileged to be what would

  453. have, who would have been the free, who would have been the

  454. Jew. And in our modern context, maybe

  455. who are very comfortable with our our family of origin and who

  456. see ourselves as secure. And there's maybe also that

  457. challenge then, and how do we we fully live with one another in

  458. this new spiritual family in a way that that Jesus is calling

  459. us to. So yeah, I don't know if you had

  460. any further thoughts on on that. Yeah, it's, it's hard, right?

  461. You get, you get these moments where, you know, there there's

  462. an individual who wants to bury his deceased parent and, and he

  463. says let the dead bury the dead. So there's like an urgency to it

  464. and a sense in which, yeah, we're called into a different

  465. community. You don't want to dishonor,

  466. right? Like you also you.

  467. How do you honor your father and mother and also follow Jesus who

  468. says leave? Yeah, leave your your family to

  469. some degree, right. And follow me.

  470. The early call to two of the fishermen.

  471. They leave James and John, right?

  472. They leave their fathers equity in the boat and they followed

  473. Jesus. Like if I'm that dad and be

  474. like, wait, what? Yeah, like maybe he's cheering

  475. them on. Maybe it's like you guys go like

  476. this is everything you wanted go.

  477. We don't, we don't know, Like we don't get that.

  478. But there is this seemingly there's this call repeated

  479. throughout Scripture that it does mean leaving to some degree

  480. your your family of origin. I think it is the challenge that

  481. I see is to those who would, who would consider themselves

  482. inside. And again, that's dangerous,

  483. like kind of problematic language.

  484. But if you consider yourself part of the church, I think the

  485. burden is on us to choose to be family.

  486. Yeah, for one another. Um, and I like that that

  487. becomes, I think that that's where the, the burden lies.

  488. The the burden doesn't lie on the one who is wrestling out

  489. their own broken family and who's trying to enter into a

  490. community of faith. The burden is on those of us who

  491. are in again, inside, but who are those of us who are part of

  492. the community to change, like, to live in such a way that it it

  493. radically alters this individual's definition of

  494. family. Yeah, know that I think that's

  495. the the piece that I would want our people to hear for sure.

  496. Like if you're part of our church have been a part of KPC

  497. for a while, like I think the burdens on us.

  498. Yeah. So I don't know if that answers

  499. the question necessarily, but I, you know, I think back to when

  500. we came like my family first, first arrived here and we had

  501. moved like we moved from out of town.

  502. We sold our house. We bought a house before we

  503. bought a house. Like we were receiving emails

  504. from multiple people with like the title, but like, you want to

  505. be our neighbor? Like this house is popped up for

  506. sale. And like we had people, we had

  507. people watching like, you know, for houses that were popping up.

  508. We have people. Yeah.

  509. We had people calling and saying, hey, if you know, if you

  510. need you come move in with us. Like live with us for a little

  511. while until you until you find a place here.

  512. And when we showed up, it was like, it was like there was this

  513. community of people, not the whole like I'm not.

  514. So our entire community was very welcoming, like our entire

  515. church was very welcoming and embracing of us.

  516. But there was like a small group of families who basically said

  517. you're ours now. Yeah.

  518. Like you're in, you're part of us.

  519. You're one of us. You're gonna do some things like

  520. you're going to come for a meal. We're gonna drop meals off.

  521. We're going to come clean the house with you.

  522. Once we bought a house, right? Like it was almost like there

  523. were, there were, there were these people just intentionally

  524. said we were. You're like, we're in your life

  525. now because you're in our. Life.

  526. And it was incredible, the gift that that was to us.

  527. And I think some of the time we, we don't want to be like an

  528. imposition. Yeah.

  529. On people like. Well, like we'll let you get

  530. settled and you tell us what you need.

  531. You need what you need and and then you know, and we're here.

  532. Yeah. And like the beauty of it for us

  533. was like, we had people were just like, Nope, we're in,

  534. we're, we're, we're at, like, we're here for you and showing

  535. up. And that was a, a beautiful,

  536. incredible thing for us. It was a gift to our family and

  537. it changed the way we landed here like it did.

  538. And so I think that's the piece that I want people to really

  539. wrestle with is like, yeah, embrace people and don't give

  540. them the opportunity to, like, just sit forever on the outside

  541. of things. I'm doing air quotes if you're

  542. listening, right? Like it's again challenging

  543. language. So that would be my, that would

  544. be my challenge to like the every day member of the church,

  545. churchgoer, like choose to be that person who just shows up

  546. like, Yep, yeah, you're, you're, you're you're asked now.

  547. Yeah, this is this is what that means.

  548. And you're going to come for lunch and, you know, whatever

  549. that, whatever that can look like, I think, yeah, bonuses on

  550. us. And we need to be the ones to

  551. embrace. I think that's the direction.

  552. Yeah, and even just using that language, I think maybe it's a

  553. Christian cliche calling each other brothers and sisters in

  554. Christ. But you know, it really does

  555. change. I think the way we look at each

  556. other when we do start realizing this is not just my coworker or,

  557. you know, someone I have a again, we use that a language

  558. sometimes a transactional relationship with, but this is

  559. this is family God. That is what Jesus calls us now.

  560. We are part of one another and we are to care for each other

  561. the way we would care for our own flesh and blood families.

  562. Yeah. And it doesn't mean it's going

  563. to be perfect. Yeah, the church is not a

  564. perfect family. And I think that's the other

  565. thing that we need to realize is it it doesn't just because you

  566. call somebody family doesn't mean that OHS suddenly

  567. everything's happy and wonderful all the time.

  568. What it means is that you don't have a choice.

  569. Yeah, to love this person. Yes, they're in it for the long

  570. haul. Exactly.

  571. Yeah. Exactly.

  572. And, and you can you can like one another to varying degrees.

  573. You can enter in and out of conflict like there's Show me a

  574. family without conflict and I'll show you somebody who's

  575. wrestling with seeing things accurately or lying.

  576. Yeah, about the way things actually are, having a hard time

  577. processing stuff, whatever. But like, every single family

  578. has conflict in it. And what?

  579. What the the difference is that, you know, so when I think about

  580. like, think, think about your family of origin growing up or

  581. think about your family now, like you have conflict.

  582. They're still your family at the end of the day.

  583. And when that conflict is done, they're still your family.

  584. Yeah. And there's no getting around

  585. that. So that's the piece for us as a

  586. church is like, it shapes everything.

  587. It's not that. It's not that there won't be

  588. conflict. There will absolutely be

  589. conflict. What what changes is, oh, these

  590. are still the people I'm called love and serve and yeah, live

  591. life with after the conflict is done.

  592. Yeah, so let's do conflict differently.

  593. Yeah. And that's, I think the piece,

  594. right, is it's it defines our community differently and it

  595. shapes our community differently.

  596. And it like, yeah, it's no longer something that I believe

  597. you can just walk away from. Yeah, that's the piece.

  598. It's like this is choose to be here and choose the land and

  599. choose to be in it through the conflict.

  600. Yeah, that that's, those are the harder days for sure of

  601. community, but I think that's the challenge to love well that

  602. you're talking about is, is in the good days and the bad days.

  603. Yeah. Yeah.

  604. Definitely. So I think that's where we're

  605. gonna land. Yeah, for today.

  606. And we hope that this encourages you and challenges you.

  607. Maybe if I can leave you with one lingering question, it might

  608. be to think about how the language of family causes you to

  609. initially react. Like does it make your like, it

  610. doesn't make your anxiety, your eyes a little bit Or does it

  611. settle you into something that is familiar, like familiar and

  612. peaceful and loving, But what direction does it push you in?

  613. And then in that to kind of think through what your

  614. relationship to others inside of a community might might look

  615. like if you thought about it more along the lines of family,

  616. how you called the love somebody well inside of inside of the

  617. church. And what's one thing you could

  618. do to help somebody belong before they believe?

  619. Yeah. So again, thanks for tuning in.

  620. Only thanks for joining me. Yeah, thanks for having me

  621. again. Great.

  622. And like Justin, I said last week, you're going to see

  623. multiple hosts rolling throughout the remainder of the

  624. summer vacation and preaching schedule, all of it taking into

  625. account. But we hope that you enjoy our

  626. episodes through the summer and that they help you have good

  627. conversation throughout your week.