II Corinthians 2:5-11

Good morning, everyone.

Thank you for tuning in and uh and joining us uh on this uh Sunday morning, or indeed if you're watching from Australia uh Sunday evening, uh it's great to have you here with us as we continue our series uh through the the book of 2 Corinthians.

Why don't I pray as we begin together?

Father, I pray that the uh words of my mouth and the meditations of all of our hearts would be pleasing uh in your sight, uh, O Lord, our rock and our redeemer.

Amen.

Please keep that passage uh open in front of you that uh that Abby read for us.

Thank you for for reading, Abby, and uh either on a phone or if you've got a Bible with you, just so that you can follow along with us.

Uh I'm gonna start with a uh with a fairly uh shocking convention uh confession, uh which is uh to let you all know uh that just from time to time, uh just from time to time that I uh I mess up.

Uh I do something wrong.

Um I know, I know, I mean I'm glad most of you are sitting down.

I say something that I shouldn't have, or actually what tends to happen is that I say something that I should have in a way that I shouldn't have.

Uh it's not what you said, it was the way that you said it.

Uh tends to be the uh the feedback uh that sometimes comes.

Sometimes I say things that are unwise, sometimes I do things that are unwise, sometimes I say things that are uncaring, because I, like everybody else, get tired and frustrated and I'm not perfect.

When those things happen, oftentimes a day or so might go past, and and then someone, Philippo or another brother or sister, maybe Duncan or or somebody else will come to me calmly and firmly and point out my error and say, Hey, when you said that, or when you had that conversation, that had this effect.

What's my response when those conversations happen?

Well, again, while I'm being honest, my response is that I pretty much hate it.

Um I pretty much hate it initially.

I get um defensive.

You know, my little mental lawyer springs into action.

I also feel a bit embarrassed um that it had to be brought up.

I feel sad, a bit of self-loathing.

Again, that particularly if it was if it's something that I'm kind of persistently having to deal with.

So I pretty much hate it initially, but what happens is I go away usually and I cool down and I process and I reflect on what was said and the way they said it and who it was that was saying it, and and conclude that actually there was something there to be learned.

That they were by and large right.

I also realized that it wasn't really fun for them to have that conversation with me in the first place, that they didn't come to me uh trying to be my critic, they came to me trying to be my coach.

Now that sort of interaction should be a normal part of Christian discipleship, where you you mess up, you're in sin, something's going, something's going on uh that that more and more people are aware of, and somebody comes in love to you and says, Can we have a conversation about this?

Can you help me understand that?

I really uh let's follow Jesus together, and I really think that this is something that you need to turn from.

It should be a normal part of Christian discipleship.

Why?

Well, we all have blind spots, don't we?

None of us have it all together.

All of us have sinful tendencies and thought patterns or action patterns that all need to be worked on.

So, how do we make progress in these areas?

Is it that you you have to make progress in your Christian life in splendid isolation?

Certainly that's what it can feel like uh this last year.

Uh, that it's just it's just you and your Bible and your prayers.

No, your Bible and your prayers uh are pretty essential.

I'm not saying you should jettison them at all.

But no, the Christian life is done in the context of community.

We disciple one another, brothers and sisters on the same journey, pursuing Jesus, help one another to turn from sin and turn to God.

Older brothers and sisters act as spiritual mentors.

I'm very glad of the spiritual mentors that I have had in my life who have come to me and said, Yeah, you shouldn't have said that.

Or that was a stupid thing to do.

I'm glad of their correction, though I didn't enjoy it at the time.

It is a normal way when our mistakes are pointed out and we grow.

In our world, however, there are two things that prevent this from happening.

Well, at least two things.

I'll talk about two things because this is just the introduction, and I have more points to get to.

Two things that prevent this from happening.

First, is our uh is our own sense of individual autonomy.

You were fed uh daily this notion that no one has the right to uh uh to critique you or to correct you or your actions or your decisions, that you are the ruler of your own life, you are the captain of your own destiny.

But this can't be the way of life that the gospel creates, surely.

Jesus says some pretty hard things for us to hear.

Becoming a Christian means in part recognizing our failings, recognizing our need of help, reaching out outside of ourselves for help to God.

So to think that once you're a Christian, that it's back to saying, well, everybody else needs to back off, well, that seems a little strange to me.

The second reason why uh we don't do this, first is our individual autonomy, nobody has a right to correct me.

The second reason comes from a perverted understanding of what it means to love someone.

We're told that the uh more you love someone, the more you will affirm their life choices, that you will support and be behind whatever decision that they make about their life, such that if you don't affirm everything that a person is doing, then clearly you cannot love them.

But love does not always equal affirmation.

Sometimes love necessitates having a difficult conversation and challenging a person's decision making.

Any parent knows that being part of the part of being a loving mother or father is questioning some of your child's life choices.

The part of being a loving parent is uh is pushing back on your child's uh decision just to eat sugar the entire day, for example.

We often in the church remain silent because we don't want to be seen as unloving.

One of the things that this passage challenges us on is that remaining silent isn't always a loving thing to do.

But sometimes the most caring, most loving thing is to speak and to have those conversations.

In the context of uh of these verses, they they can be it can be pieced together, kind of what's going on both from from here and from Paul's uh first letter uh that we that we have in our Bibles that we we actually looked at as a church about uh 18 months or so ago.

Uh in the first verses that that Abby read, verse five, six, seven, eight, uh, it seems that there's a uh there's a man who has sinned, who has sinned.

There's a there's a him who has caused pain.

Uh we'll look at that in a moment, uh, who has been punished by the by the church.

That is, he's been kind of uh he's been kind of ostracized uh with a desire uh for him to repent.

And he has.

And now it's time to to forgive him.

In First Corinthians uh chapter five.

I think probably uh this is what is in view here.

We know more about that man, and uh it is that the man in question is having a sexual relationship with his stepmother.

The church knows about it, it's fairly public.

It seems that probably he's a fairly well-to-do guy, fairly uh respectable in uh in Corinthian society.

And so because of this strict hierarchy, uh they didn't feel like they could kind of correct him on it.

And Paul says, no, like you've got to kind of you've got to call this out.

He he says there that uh there's a sin going on in the church that isn't even done outside of the churches, it isn't even done amongst the pagans.

That's that's what he says.

It seems that he had this twisted notion, and some of the people in the church had this twisted notion that once you were freed uh from your sin by Jesus, once he had forgiven you, that you could live however you wanted.

And Paul writes and says, No, no, you need to correct and discipline this man.

2 Corinthians picks up those threads.

Time has passed, and in his second letter, it seems that the church did that, and now Paul is helping them to move forward.

So when it comes to these conversations, Paul helps us in a number of ways here in this passage this morning.

He first of all helps us to understand what the attitude should be in these conversations, what the attitude of discipline is, then secondly, what the reason for discipline should be, what the limits, thirdly, on discipline are, and then fourthly, and finally, the goals of discipline.

Firstly, the attitude.

How do you come to a person and have a difficult conversation with them?

Well, Paul helps us understand that here.

When someone uh comes and tells us something that it's hard for us to hear, I suspect what matters a lot in that moment is what their attitude and disposition is towards us.

Some people will always delight in pointing out our faults.

Some people will always take pleasure in using the truth as a stick to beat us.

But that is not the attitude that Paul has.

Cast your eye up to the uh to the final verse of our reading last week, that is chapter two, verse four.

Read that with me.

Paul says, For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish, anguish of heart, and with many tears, not to cause you pain, but to let you know the abundant love I have for you.

What's Paul's attitude?

He took no delight in having this difficult conversation.

He had it because he loved them.

He didn't want to say those things, he found no enjoyment in it.

But motivated by love, he spoke.

Sometimes people will come to us and have conversations like this with us because they love us.

And when we're on the receiving end of it, the important thing to remember is hold on a second, this person, this person is not out to do me down or to hurt me.

This person is talking to me because they love me.

That changes and reframes the conversation.

Listen to what a uh a pastor living about 500 years ago said, a guy called John Calvin.

He comments on this verse, and I think it's apt today.

He says, There are many noisy scolders who display an amazing fervor in denouncing and raging against other people's faults, and yet are untouched at heart, so that they seem to take pleasure in exercising their throat and lungs.

You know what he's saying?

He's like, There's people who just love to criticize other people, they take great pleasure and delight on it.

But he goes on to say that that's not the way of the Christian.

He says, But it belongs to the godly pastor to weep within himself before he makes others weep, to suffer in his own secret heart before he gives any open sign of wrath, and to keep to himself more grief than he causes to others.

Isn't that beautiful?

It is a rare but necessary thing that in the life of City Church that I've had to have a conversation like that.

I never enjoy it.

I never take delight in it.

I want to be like that.

I want us to be like that to carry more grief ourselves than that which we inflict on others.

The attitude of discipline must always be a blending of truth and love.

Truth on its own can be harsh, but love on its own is often sentimental and keeps people in denial as to their flaws and helps people legitimize their sin.

When we know that the speaker takes no pleasure in their words, and when we know that they are talking with us because they love us, though there may still be pain, this is the fertile soil for spiritual growth.

That is the attitude that we must have.

That is the attitude that Paul embodied.

Second, what is the reason for these difficult conversations?

What is the reason for discipline?

Paul in his first letter had helped them to see why it was necessary.

And you can go back and read that in 1 Corinthians chapter 5.

1 Corinthians 5 · chapter mention

And again, he reminds them of some of these aspects because it's it's easy to excuse things.

It's easy to excuse things on our heads and avoid and avoid confrontation.

And so he reminds them of the reason here in verse 5.

Again, have a look at it with me.

Now, if someone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure, not to put it too severely, to all of you.

The accusation was that Paul had inflicted all of this pain by bringing this shameful thing up, by forcing them to have this difficult conversation in the church.

And he he kind of clears the dex and he goes, Hold on, it wasn't it wasn't actually me who caused the pain in the first place.

It was the person who was in sin.

And the person who was in sin, he didn't cause pain to me, he caused pain to all of you.

Put simply, the reason for discipline is this that it harms the church.

Sin harms the church.

Paul is saying the pain that you are feeling shouldn't really be in my words, rather, it should be that the sin because the sin has harmed all of you.

This is such an important and serious reminder that we lose sight of.

That sin affects everyone.

That as I've said before, there is no such thing as a private sin.

Let's think about this a little bit more because you can probably uh and maybe are even in your mind thinking, well, if I did this and nobody knew about it, uh, well, how is that affecting other people?

Let's think about that.

How does it affect the church?

Let's imagine for a second that it stays quiet and that no one knows.

Well, it still affects you.

It affects your interactions with others because you don't want to be found out.

You might even be duplicitous.

That's a good word.

You might say one thing to one person or one group of people, you might say another thing to another person or another group of people.

You might say something different to uh to a a uh a person in your community group than you would to an elder or a leader in the church.

You'll be more guarded.

You will become a hypocrite saying one thing and doing another.

What's more is you'll often stop praying.

It's hard to be in habitual sin and have a great devotional life.

You'll stop pro praying because of the shame you'll feel, because of the double life that you feel that you're living.

And so what that will do is it will render you utterly ineffective.

It'll throw you off mission.

And so the mission of God in the local church will be affected.

Alternatively, imagine for a second that it's known, but ignored.

People know that this person, yeah, that uh we know that there's something going on there, or yeah, there's some questions to ask about how that person's interacting uh over there with that, but don't have that conversation, might just be ignored, or even worse, what was going on in the Corinthian churches.

It was being celebrated.

Like, well, this person's free in Christ, they can do whatever they want.

What that communicates to the outside world is it doesn't matter how you live if you're a follower of Jesus, we lose our integrity.

Again, we become ineffective, we lose our witness.

We have no integrity in calling other people to turn from their sin and to follow Jesus.

We become useless.

Just because sin isn't known publicly doesn't mean that it doesn't have public effects.

This is why our attitude towards sin is so important.

Are we making war against it?

Are we killing it, or is it killing us?

And one of the gods.

Given tools for kin killing sin is when godly brothers, brothers, and sisters come and have a difficult conversation with us and bring that sin into the light.

That is the reason for discipline.

Discipline, however, has its limits.

Thirdly, because these are hard conversations, these hard conversations are not ends in themselves.

We're going to get to the ends in the next and final point.

They are not ends in themselves, and so they have limits, is what he goes on to say in verse 6.

For such a one, this punishment, for such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough.

So you should rather turn and forgive and comfort him, so that he uh or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

Say, pull back, this person has repented.

It's time you don't want to overwhelm the person with excessive sorrow.

These conversations are fraught with dangers and difficulties, and one of the dangers is that the person who you're speaking to is so harmed in the conversation that they are beaten down by their shame.

They're not given the hope of the gospel.

Or another danger is that the person who is having the conversation, particularly if it's the person who's been sinned against, actually withholds forgiveness.

It is an awful experience and an experience that I have had the sad misfortune to be in.

When you feel genuine contrition and sorrow and repentance and grief, and you apologize only to have the person that you're apologizing to say, Yes, but I don't think you really understand how serious this is.

And so you apologize again, and they say, Yes, but I'm still not sure that you really appreciate the magnitude of what you have done.

And so you apologize again and again and again, and with every refrazal, it becomes all the more overwhelming.

Here, Paul says, the discipline by the majority is enough, it has achieved its goals, and now when repentance is forthcoming, so must be forgiveness.

It is time to receive them back so that he is not overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

Again, the good parent exercises discipline in proportion and with great restraint.

We send the kid to the naughty step or to their room to reflect on what they have done.

But we restore them with hugs and with kisses and with prayers.

We don't go on continuing to neglect them, nor do we bring it up time after time after time.

Do you remember when you did this?

Just this morning.

Owen put Philippa's trainers, her runners, in the bath.

And he got sent to his room to reflect on that and had to come and say, sorry.

I'm not gonna go downstairs and go.

Do you remember that time when you put your mother's trainers in the bath?

No, we restore, we forgive.

We don't want to overwhelm him with sorrow.

Little Egypt.

This is not the way of the gospel.

The way of the gospel is the father standing with open arms to receive and to restore the sonship of the prodigal.

He doesn't cast him aside, nor does he make him some second-class citizen within his household and treat him like a servant.

No, there are limits to our discipline.

Fourth, the goals of discipline.

You're right to perceive that I've pluralized that word, and what that means is that this fourth and final point has three subpoints.

Paul points out in the rest of this passage three goals, three aims for discipline.

Why do we have these sorts of conversations at all?

The first, and we've already alluded to it, is that the goal of discipline is not to punish, not to ostracize, but to bring about repentance and then full restoration and forgiveness.

Look at uh verse seven and eight again.

So you should rather turn and forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

Verse eight, so I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.

This is this is how the dynamic should work.

That somebody should should find themselves in sin.

And actually, one of the things that can happen is that someone that somebody can be so trapped in this cycle that they don't know how to break out of it either, and they're too ashamed to say anything about it.

And so actually coming and having that conversation can be such a relief, be lovingly freeing of them, and then they can, by the spirit's power, come and in repentance and say, Look, I I have not spoken wisely, I have not act wisely, I have not been godly in my in my thought life, in my private actions.

I'm sorry.

I recognize the harm that I was doing to myself and to my brothers and sisters, and then the response from the brothers and sisters is we love you.

Come into our embrace, we praise God that He has brought repentance about in your life, and we don't stand as those who have no sin to deal with.

All of the Christian life is is one of is one of repentance, of continually coming back to the cross of the Lord Jesus, and so come back into our fellowship and our family, come know our love, and let's journey together on that road of repentance together.

That's what's supposed to happen, and that is beautiful, and that is a picture of the gospel when that happens.

The second goal for discipline is that it shows genuine obedience.

Okay, verse 9.

For this is why I wrote, Paul says, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything.

Here, Paul isn't laying a trap for the Corinthians, nor is he laying a trap for us.

He is simply saying this, he's saying, Do you really take holiness seriously?

Do you really understand that to follow Jesus means to take up one's cross and to follow him, to live that life of self-denial?

You see, the best evidence of past conversion to Christ is living for him now in the present.

It is showing the fruit of obedience, especially in areas that are private, areas that are difficult.

Having these conversations, having these conversations personally, having these conversations as the church shows that we take following Jesus seriously.

That we want to take his words seriously, that we really do want to live for him in every sphere of our existence.

And that is the goal of discipline.

The third goal of discipline is to outwit Satan.

Look at verse uh 10 and 11.

Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive.

Indeed, I have forgiven.

If I have forgiven anything, uh sorry, indeed, what I've forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his designs.

What does Paul mean here?

Paul is pointing out again that we have a spiritual enemy.

Our warfare is not against flesh and blood.

We have a spiritual enemy who would love to see us destroyed.

And if he cannot destroy us, to render us utterly ineffective.

And he renders us utterly ineffective by trapping us in our sin, keeping us captive by guilt and shame.

Make us utterly ineffective in our witness to Jesus.

One of the ways that he does that is by convincing us that we don't have the right to have these difficult conversations, by convincing us that having those conversations isn't loving.

When we deal with these things, and when we fight for unity with one another, repenting and showing forgiveness and coming back together around the throne of the Lord Jesus, when we do that, we deal a blow to our spiritual enemy, we rebuff his attacks against us.

So, why do we have hard conversations to bring about repentance and to show forgiveness?

To show that we take obedience and holiness seriously, and we do it as a way of making war against those spiritual agents that would render us ineffective and so maximize our witness to the gospel in the world.

See, only the gospel, the good news of Jesus, can create this dynamic within the church.

The gospel in the gospel, God shows both his unwavering commitment and his radical love to us.

He shows us his commitment to truth, and he calls us to repent.

But he also commits himself to us in grace and in love.

That commitment to us by sending his son to save us, it frees us, it frees us to acknowledge our faults, it frees us to acknowledge our blind spots, it frees us to acknowledge our persistent and habitual sins.

It frees us to seek restoration and forgiveness, to seek help.

Brothers and sisters, let us show that we genuinely care and love for one another in these conversations.

Let us together recognize that these conversations from time to time are necessary and good while never enjoyable.

But they are part of our life together.

Let those who speak speak with tears, speak with great care and precision and love.

And when we find ourselves as those who need to hear correction, let us fight to remember that that person is doing so, not in judgment, but in love.

This is another tool in our arsenal for maximizing the spiritual flourishing of every brother and sister at city.

Not one of us is perfect.

Not one of us doesn't have stuff that we're dealing with.

We deal with them by bringing our own souls to bear before our Almighty God who loves us and who has freed us from our sins.

We do so by seeking to conform ourselves to his word, by taking his word seriously and applying it to our lives.

We also do so by receiving these difficult conversations from time to time and not responding with resentment, but asking ourselves, what can I learn?

What nugget of truth is there here?

All as we seek to grow together as followers of Jesus, commanding the gospel to a watching world.

Let's pray together.

In our thoughts and words and deeds, in what we have done and what we have left undone.

We need your help.

And so we cast ourselves upon your grace and ask that for the sake of your dear Son Jesus Christ that you would forgive us and restore us to newness of life.

Help us to be a church family that genuinely loves one another.

That genuinely seeks to encourage and to build up, not to tear down.

That strives for unity.

That when difficult conversations have to happen, they do so with tears.

And that those words are salted with love and with gospel grace.

Help us to turn from those false lies of autonomy and love always equaling affirmation.

Help us to turn to Jesus who shows great love and compassion to us.

And yet says go and sin no more.

Help us by your spirit, we pray in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Amen, everyone.

See you soon.