Marriage | Jerry Harris

Well, good morning, Christian Church.

How are you doing today? It is good to be in the house of

the Lord. It is good to be with the people

of the Lord. It is good to be studying the

word of the Lord, applying that to our lives, and allowing it to

change us, and it will change us forever.

Amen. It is so good to welcome.

All the campuses that are joining with us all across this

region, 11 locations, every one that's inside.

Every one that's online. I've already got a great text

today that inside is all back so I know they've been like open

and shot and and lockdown and all sorts of things like that.

And I'm just thankful to know that the word of God is going

out with all of you as well, that's incredible.

And if you're like me I've been spending a lot of time watching

the news because my heart is really going out to the people

People of Ukraine right now. And of course, from last week to

this week, things have really amped up and things that were

frightening me. When I was a kid in the 60s, is

those things are fomenting again.

What I want us to do again. Today, is pray.

I want us to pray for our brothers and sisters in Ukraine.

I want us to pray that God, he's never not in control, he's in

control. Just we just need to rest in

him. So if you're feeling anxiety

about it, like I think all of us are to some extent.

Let's just rest in the Lord, trust in him because he isn't

surprised by anything. Let's just take a moment and

let's just pray Heavenly Father. We pray right now for the people

of Ukraine, we pray that you would protect them as they're

being attacked. Father, I pray that that you

would calm people that are involved in and that father, you

would be even glorified in the midst of it.

I think about the scripture that says that you'll hear about wars

and rumors of wars, and I know that that's associated with the

coming of your son. So I just pray father that you

would we would recognize your lordship over this situation

that we would just continue to pray that you'd be glorified

father and that your people would be protected.

We pray that in Jesus name. Amen.

So we're in this series called better and we're talking about

winning at home and I just want to start with a question, all

right? And here's my question is kind

of a, you know, see if you can figure it out what do lovebirds

Puffins mice, Albatross? I don't know what the plural is

for Albatross. I'm just going to say Albatross

coyotes bald eagles vultures beavers, lizards doves,

seahorses Gibbons, cranes, owls geese, voles swans, monkeys

pigeons, parakeets, macaws, As wolves angelfish.

Foxes Penguins. Sea, turtles, flatworms.

And Condors have in common They all mate for life.

How many of you got that, right? Yeah.

See it's pretty good. And although they only account

for a small percentage of all the animals in the animal

kingdom, it's pretty fascinating.

Think about that. How fascinating is it that God

pre-wired those particular animal species to do that too?

Literally? Mate for life.

Do you know that is how we were designed?

That we were designed by God to mate for life, but unlike

animals who consistently act, according to their created

nature, and I want to stop right there.

Do you realize that do you realize that everything an

animal does? He does because he is acting in

perfect, harmony with his created nature.

It is how God created that animal to be.

So when you get upset potty training your puppy just

understand. He's acting according to his

created nature but he makes you act differently.

Then you're created nature. So we were designed by God a

little bit different than the animals, right?

Actually quite a bit different because we were made in the

image of God and God gave us something that is a reflection

of him because God as a sovereign, God has an absolute

right to make any choice. He wants and he gave us rights

to make choices. And so we can choose not to act.

According to our created nature, we can choose whether to follow

God's plan or not. Follow God's plan, unlike all of

those animals. Now, you and I, we were not

designed to act like a feral dog, or a feral cat. although

some of us have and some of us do, the Bible is crystal clear

that we were designed to mate for life.

Now I know right now as I'm speaking you're saying up,

Jerry's going to do a sermon on marriage and half of you are

saying that doesn't really apply to me.

Exactly right now in the, the season of life, I'm in, I know

that I'm dealing with half of you that are presently married,

the other half of you haven't gotten married yet and you'll

want to You haven't gotten married yet and you don't want

to you'd like to stay single, you have gotten married but it

ended in divorce and some of you have been separated by death

you've been you're a widow or a widower but all of us regardless

of our current situation in life are connected to this idea of

marriage and it is of critical importance to all of us.

And if it's true that we are hard-wired by God for this

relationship, then let me ask you a question.

Why is it so hard? Why are we surrounded with so

many tragic stories of like bitter divorce?

Or custody battles or infidelity broken homes?

Scarred and cynical children blended family struggles with

step parents and stepbrothers and stepsisters one-night

stands, sexual regret. A pandemic of pornography

deviant sexual behavior, the victimization of sex trafficking

and child sexual abuse. Why If this is how we were

pre-wired by God, it's because marriage is the most basic

construct of The Human Condition, and the human

Community. That's a big statement by the

way, and I'm going to back it up.

And if Satan can confuse marriage, if he can confuse that

most basic construct, if he can confuse it, if he can twist it,

if he could break it, he wins. It's at the root of who we are.

That's another big statement. The root of who we are.

At least from the perspective of God.

Now, I want to prove that to you.

I want you to think about how the Bible begins.

Like when you just open it up, you get past the faux leather,

leather cover, And the title pages.

Where are you? Like, how does the bible

actually begin? Do you know it actually begins

with a wedding. So God creates everything right

in Genesis. One talks about how he put it

together and as soon as he puts it together, there's a wedding

Genesis chapter 2 verses 21 to 25.

Genesis 2:21–25

So the Lord God caused man to fall into a deep sleep.

And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and

then closed up the place with flesh.

Then the Lord, God made a woman from the rib.

He had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man.

In the man said, oh, thank you, God.

This is now bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh.

She shall be called woman for. She was taken out of, man, that

is why a man leaves, his father and mother and is United to his

wife and they become, would you say that with me one flesh?

Wow, Adam and his wife were both naked.

That's thank you, God, right? That was that.

And they felt no shame. Bible begins with a wedding.

God gave the first bride away. You know how the Bible ends?

With a wedding. It's in Revelation chapter 12

Revelation 12 · chapter mention

chapter 21 verses 1 to 4, and then I saw a new Heaven and a

new Earth for the first Heaven, and the first Earth had passed

away. and there was no longer any sea and then I saw the holy

city, the New Jerusalem, Coming down.

Out of Heaven, you know, you are his New Jerusalem, you are his

Temple. Created with living stones.

Prepared, as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, look, God's

dwelling. Place is now among the people

and He will dwell with them. I go to prepare a place for you.

I will come again and receive you to myself that where I am,

there you may be also They will be his people and he himself

will be with them and be their God.

And he will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no

more death or Mourning or crying or pain. for the old Order of

Things has passed away, just before this in Revelation

actually talks about the feast the wedding feast, Is that

enough? Nah, let's go a little further.

It was the backdrop for Jesus's entire Ministry.

How did Jesus began his ministry?

I mean you have these like little stories, a couple of

little stories like when he was 12 and when he was born, you

have to have that. But it's all pretty silent until

you get to the beginning of his ministry and the beginning of

his ministry was all wedding. It was in a place called Cana of

Galilee. You got a little bit angry with

his mother because she wasn't he didn't, you know, I'm not, I

don't know if I want to do this yet.

They have no wine. Remember that?

And Jesus turned the water into wine.

It began his ministry and it was his very first miracle.

And it was at a wedding. You remember how Jesus ended his

ministry on Earth? He ended us Ministry on Earth in

an upper room and in that upper room.

He started telling his disciples getting them prepared for what

was going to come next. and some of the most profound words, he

ever said, we're said in that room, When he said let not your

heart be troubled, you believe in God believe also in me in my

father's house are many mansions.

If it were not. So I would have told you I go to

prepare a place for you and if I go to prepare a place for you, I

will come again. And receive you to myself that

where I am, there you may be also wedding language.

What? Every prospective groom said to

a prospective bride, it was The Proposal.

Of the Jewish culture. It book ended his ministry.

It's the Earthly relationship that the Apostle Paul under the

inspiration of God chose to help us understand the Eternal

relationship, Union between Christ and his bride.

The church will get into that in a minute. so, when you look at

God's word kind of in totality, you can see But this is a very,

very big deal to God and it's no wonder that it's being attacked.

Now, I want to I want to get something straight here.

This sermon is only going to last about a half an hour, and

that's not near enough time for the investment that this

requires. And this is something that is so

critical for for all of us to understand, whether we're in,

you know, in hard times right now, we're considering marriage

right now we're on the other end of marriage and we want to be

able to Mentor other people, you know.

So Alice and I are going to begin leading marriage, Retreats

its Be coming in the fall and it's going to happen in our new

retreat center. And that's being built right

now, Paul put together right now, and we're going to train

other leaders, how to do it as well.

Because this is going to have to be a very major deal for the

crossing, and it would be an incredible investment for you.

And I'll just, if you want to cheat, I'll help you.

Because we're going to be working out of three different

books that we're going to have everyone read.

Here's the 31, the five languages.

Of love. By Gary Chapman.

Some of you may already understand that one's going to

be love and respect by Emerson Aggregates.

And one of them is the one that we discussed last week, becoming

Better Together by EPS each. One of these has a different

approach to understanding and addressing how marriage was

designed by God, to work becoming Better Together was a

book about structure, the structure of a relationship and

timing of the relationship, and I dealt with that one last week,

okay? Okay, but today I'm going to

spend time on the other two, but I'm just going to touch on them.

So you're going to have to hang on, right?

We're going to spend that little bit of time on the five

languages of love. This is an emotional look at

marriage and love and respect which is a classic gender-based

biblical look at marriage. So I want us to dive in, Okay?

So I want to see how many people I relate to right now.

After church today. Going to get in the car.

And some of you will go home. But a lot of you are going to go

out to eat. And the guys going to say, Where

would you like to eat dear? And what is her answer going to

be gentleman? I don't know wherever you'd like

to eat. Now, listen, I know something

about guys. They are three.

They are thinking of one word, has three letters, and it is

this eat. Just that.

A lot of guys don't really care if it's a taco or a hamburger or

something fancy, they just want to eat.

Let's just get that one checked off and move on to the next

thing, right? But that's not what she's

thinking. I'll get to that in a second.

I don't know, dear wherever you'd like to eat, guys.

Don't have a problem making decisions because they don't get

emotionally invested into decision-making, they just make

one. So you're pulling off to one of

the local restaurants. Okay, I'll make the decision and

then she goes. No, I ate there on Tuesday.

Okay. Didn't where would you like to

eat? I don't know wherever you'd like

to eat. Listen, I've been married to my

wife, nearly 40 years and we have gotten so far down this

road, she will. Now tell me here are four

choices. You can't make She still won't

make the decision, right? Why is that?

Why is that? I'll tell you why.

I already said, guys don't get emotionally invested in

decision-making because they just only think of very small

one thing at a time. Women are literally thinking of

everything in their life, all at the same time, they're thinking

three-dimensionally, not two-dimensionally.

They're thinking about how what I have to do with the kids.

This afternoon, they're thinking about what my house looks like.

They're thinking about other things that are necessary,

they're thinking about who they might meet and who they don't

want to meet, that could be at that Resident.

A million other things and that's why it's so hard to make

a decision. It's not because they're just

indecisive, it's because they're emotionally invested in that

decision because a lot of things could happen.

When the guys thinking what Now, I just connected to a whole

bunch of you. but there's some of you that went I don't know

what he's talking about because I'm talking about a gender

stereotype. It's a gender stereotype that we

actually get from God's word. But not everyone fits into that

stereotype. Let me tell you why I'm saying

that Ephesians, 5:21 to 32. Don't forget this first one,

I'll come back to it. Submit to one another out of

reverence for Christ. That is the whole deal right

there. Now, how do we do that wives

submit to your husband's as to your own husband's, as to the

Lord. For the husband is the head of

the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which

he is a savior now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives

should submit to their husbands in everything.

And you know what husbands they just want to end right there.

That's just her submission. That's not his submission.

Husbands, love your wives. Just as Christ loved the church,

stop it. How much did Christ loved the

church? To be nailed to a cross.

And I've had a lot of guys upset in their marriage, but I've

never seen nail prints in their hands.

And gave himself up for her. That means you can make any

decision you want guys because the husband is the head of the

wife but she has total veto power because loving her is more

important than your decision. Oh, someone's going to clap.

finally, I got a sermon that connect to To make her holy

cleansing her. By the washing with water,

through the word, wow. Is talking about spiritual

leadership there. And to present her to himself as

a Radiant Church. Interesting that he calls a

woman a church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.

But holy and blameless in the same way husband's ought to love

their own wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife,

loves himself after all, no one ever hated their own body, but

they feed and care for, I Too much just as Christ does the

church. We're all members of his body

for this reason, a man will leave his father and his mother

and be United to his wife and the two will become say it.

This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ in the

church. What I thought he was talking

about marriage. Well, he is because our Earthly

marriages are all true are all designed to help us understand

our Heavenly marriage, Eternal one, Go back to Ephesians 5:21

Ephesians 5:21

because the overall view is mutual submission submit to one

another out of reverence for Christ.

Let me help you understand that. I want you to picture here an

invisible altar. Okay.

Like altars in the Old Testament and in the New Testament Were

Made of Stone. And what would what happened at

an altar, an animal was brought and then sacrificed right on

this altar. So I want you to imagine.

Have you ever heard people are going to get married to get the

go to the altar? Have you heard that before?

So what does that actually mean? Well okay, I'll be the groom.

Here I am. There's the altar.

Here's everything I Han am everything.

I want to be every hope, every dream.

Everything. And I'm walking it over to this

altar. Here's the bride.

Everything that she is everything she hopes to be every

hope, every dream. And she brings it to the altar.

The altars burning. And they lay.

All that is their life. On this altar.

As a burnt offering. Marital love is supposed to be

Selfless. Love Altar of burnt offering

love. One flesh.

Love, because God takes two lives to hopes to dreams to

realities, and he forges it into a single one flesh relationship.

Only God can do it. Jesus taught it.

In Matthew chapter, 19 Verses 4 to 6.

He said haven't you read he replied that in the beginning

the Creator made them male and female and said for this reason,

a man will leave his father and his mother.

Mother, and be United to his wife.

And the two will become One flesh.

So they are no longer two. You thought I just made that up.

It's poetic no. It's just Jesus.

They are no longer two but one flesh.

Therefore, what God has joined together.

Let no one separate. It's also back in Ephesians

verse 31 of chapter 5. For this reason, a man will

leave his father and mother and be United to his wife and the

two will become one flesh. We surrender ourselves to each

other and we form one new identity and it happens under

the lordship of Jesus Christ and the power Of almighty God.

That's how we form. One new identity.

So, Some of you. Really connecting with what I'm

saying, because it is classic. And what Ephesians 5 is teaching

is classic male, female stereotypes.

And you notice what they're asking men, and women to do

that, that husbands or prospective husband, husbands

have to love their wives and then gives the specific of how

their to love their wives. So it's about love and wife has

a responsibility of respecting Her husband, let me tell you

what that is actually accomplishing.

I'm going to write this word. Okay.

Love. And then this one respect.

These two things are mutually edifying.

In other words, if a wife is respecting her husband, it

should have the effect of empowering him to love his wife.

And if a man is properly loving his wife, it empowers her to

properly, respect her husband. But we're going to call this.

The crazy cycle. I'm going to tell you why.

Because it tends to go the other way.

It happens to go the other way. So, Well, what a woman needs

generally is emotional security. And there's nothing wrong with

that. Women tend to need emotional

security. You know why?

Because emotional being emotional is their currency.

They give themselves and they don't do it in pieces or parts,

I mean they they fully invest and, They require that.

It's like putting like it's like me like you driving your car and

you run out of gas. You get mad at your car.

Because that's what they run on. And you need to keep it filled

up. So if they need emotional

security, they receive that through love, if they're

convinced that their husband loves them.

It provides for their emotional security men.

On the other hand won't respect. You think a man would rather

hear I love you or would you rather hear?

I feel safe when I'm in your arms.

Men tend to love things that project strength respect.

And so there are ways that we have to understand.

Again this is stereotypical, but there are ways that we need to

understand how this works and so this is how that Mutual

edification grows a relationship.

But it also goes the other way because if a husband starts

loving other things and he just compartmentalizes his love for

his wife. What ends up happening?

She gets frustrated with that and responds with things like,

hey, be nice if you were home one.

It's in a while. Be nice to for these kids knew

that they had a dad, right? Disrespect disrespect, what that

what does that do? A man makes him one to replace.

His wife was something else like bowling.

Or. Grilling or sorry.

You know what I'm saying? Anything else.

Anything else? And it starts the crazy cycle.

Now, the crazy cycle really isn't circular.

I don't think that's fair. It's actually this If?

Cuz that's what happens. It's a spiral because if we

don't receive what we need and we lash out at one another and

they feed on each other and you start going in circles, but you

spiral down until the relationship is utterly broken,

right? Give me something positive

Jerry. Here comes.

The good news is the crazy cycle is reversible.

The spiral is reversible, if someone can start being

selfless, even when they don't deserve the the the partner

doesn't deserve selflessness. If they can do that, which is

very hard to do, it can reverse the cycle.

The crazy cycle can move in the opposite direction.

The spiral can go up as well as down.

I've a lot more I can say about that, but that's what Retreats

your for, that's Those that book love and respect is for, so

we'll just have to leave it there.

S one you're not relating to what I said.

I've just said all that stuff and it's like there he goes in

solid male, female stereotypes in this not fit me.

I get it because some of us are wired differently emotionally

and there's a lot of things that go into that how we might be

different. Emotionally could be our roles,

and culture could be generational issues.

It could be the lack of to roll Miles because of single

parenting. We all have things that

contribute to those differences. Okay, we have a lot of

differences here. However, each one of us has an

emotional love language, that's irrespective of gender.

And that emotional language is how we understand how we give

and how we receive love, and that's what we call a love

language. Okay, so I'm going to give you

the five love languages. So first one is words.

Of affirmation. Words of affirmation, you know

what that is? if, if a man's love language is

words of affirmation, it's like you know, it could be sexual the

sense that it's like, you know, gun show today, like your I'm

liking that. You know.

And a guys like, yeah. It could be on the other side,

could be receiving words of affirmation, your female like

me. And you are defining Hot In

Those Jeans. Right.

It could be other things that could be like affirmation about

what you've accomplished. Like one of you accomplishes

something in your career in the other ones like we got to go out

and celebrate because nobody. Nobody does that as well as you

hear incredible, at this is words of affirmation, right?

We got that second one. Quality time.

Which is not the same as time. Quality time where you're

actually accomplishing something in that time that's focused on

your relationship or on your spouse going.

I'm saying, let's just, we need to be together.

We need to get reacquainted. I remember first time Allison.

I went to Israel. Allison was like, I'm not

leaving my kids. I'm not leaving my kids and I

had I told her I said, you know, the best thing you can do for

your kids is give them a good marriage.

And we need some quality time, because what happens?

I mean life happens, right? And then you get to get

reacquainted quality time. Does that number three?

Ax. Of service.

Don't you be trying to get with me when those dishes are dirty?

Really. What's that got to do with love?

Like vacuuming. What's that got to do with it?

Yeah, because sometimes that's what we crave.

We crave, service. Like when we serve one another,

that's what it's about. Number four.

Physical touch. Is it goal touch?

Physical touch is not always sexual touch. right, it's a lot

of it has to do with just Like those people that sat in front

of you last week at church and it's like, would you just stop

you know, like where are you know they're doing this with the

hair on the back of the other person stop it, you know?

And it's because they're communicate, they're actually

communicating non-verbally, that's a love language.

You're actually experiencing holding hands when you walk.

You know, that kind of that kind of thing where there's actually

touch involved you know it isn't necessarily sexual but it can be

Actually last one. Gifts.

And it's not, if you love me, buy me a Lamborghini.

It can be something simple. Like I can tell you in my

marriage. If my wife's love, language is

not gifts at all. She's a minimalist, but if I am

going to give her something, it needs to have sentimental value,

it needs to have it needs to convey a story.

Like we were just cleaning out our closet, so, you know, and

our kids have given gifts over the.

If she can't ever throw any of those away, can't do it.

So these have nothing to do with gender stereotypes.

This is hitting everybody because we're all this way.

And every you have every one of you has a primary and a

secondary love language. So, this is why this is such a

big deal, ready? It's a big deal because some

marriages are soul mates. You know what I mean by soul

mates. It's like you would like all the

same things. These are the people that you

see and they like buy clothes, so they can dress alike.

I want to throw up when I see that, but some people are that

way. I mean, they're just so many

say, like you say so, how are you doing in your marriage?

Like, we don't need to talk about we never argue ever, I'm

like boring, right? These are people that tend to

have the same Love Languages but most marriages are Opposites

Attract and I'm going to amend that a little bit.

It's not necessarily opposites, its differences differences.

Attract. And these describe different

Love Languages so you're going to you might marry someone that

is not at all. Like you not wired like you

understands gives and receives love different than you and

you're trying to speak love to that person in your own

language. And it's impossible to

understand because you're speaking two different

languages, you're not fluent in that language and it could have

a profound impact on your marriage relationship.

Here again there's so much more to say about that.

That's what Retreats your for. That's what that book is about.

Okay, that's what five languages of love is about.

In any case God's design, think about this, his fingerprints are

all over these things. There is a profound spiritual

reality to love and marriage and how it relates to an in

experiential understanding of our relationship with Jesus.

That's why that last scripture in Ephesians says, I'm speaking

of Christ in the church. Because what it does, it shows

you the physical emotional chemical and spiritual realities

profoundly. We're going to school in a

marriage about how we're supposed to be in relationship

with Jesus, and it's amazing how strong your marriage can be.

If you have a spouse where both of you are committed to each

other with a solid spiritual Foundation, an intimate,

personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

You have a good understanding of how you're wired emotionally and

physically and a realization of how much Satan is attempting to

destroy it. You can not only have a

successful marriage, you can have a compelling marriage.

A compelling marriage is one that other people look at and

they're like I want that. I'd like to have a marriage like

that. But how do you start?

Well, I want to challenge you today.

I want you to find a place to eat.

Oh great. Well, that would be the end of

that. Where would you like to go?

I don't know. Wherever you want to go.

Great. so, if you can survive that, I want you to ask each

other some questions. Maybe just one question.

Which approach did you connect with?

Like quit telling a person about what you asked, a question,

which one connected with you, which one of those love

languages? Are you?

Did the bill of the biblical model work with you from

Ephesians? What about that?

Relationship attachment model? That Jerry talked about last

week, how about that? Start the conversation there?

Try to guess Each Other's Love language, ask each other.

They fit The Stereotype asked if we have things in the right

order and the volume levels are at the right place by a book.

Read it together, invest make it a part of your date night.

Have a date night. Don't give up.

Pray together. Take a step, just a step.

Take it now. I'm going to call all of our

campus pastors up at all of our locations because we're moving

to a time of decision. Whether you're in this room or

you're watching online right now, he referred to a step.

Jerry said, take a step. Any step and I know again, I

know what you're probably thinking.

There's a whole bunch of different people.

Hear different stories. You guys are in different parts

of your life, but I'm telling you there's a step that you can

take today that'll draw you closer to Jesus.

Let me just talk to you to the first group of people in here.

There's a group of people in here.

You've been searching for true. Love You've been, you've been

searching for peace. You've been searching for

acceptance and you've been trying to find that in a person.

And I want you to know that today, in this moment, you can

find that inside, an intimate personal relationship with Jesus

Christ. Jesus, absolutely, adores.

You loves you cares for you. Accepts you and it doesn't

matter what you've done. It doesn't matter what you did

right before you came into this church.

He looks at you and he says you are mine.

He shows us. What love is a love that we

definitely don't deserve. And he says you can have it and

you can you can claim that true today.

You can leave here today. Stop searching the world to find

it because it's found in a relationship with Jesus.

If you never started it, you've never experienced true love

before but you can today Just call on the name of Jesus, just

a little bit. There's going to be some one

right over here. One of our pastors, right by the

baptistry and they love to help you make that step of Faith.

There's actually one person taken that step, today, you

wouldn't be alone. You can say, I believe I submit

my life to Christ and you can experience that true love today.

If you're online you can simply just type in.

I'm ready and a chat host. Would love to help walk you

through what it looks like to walk in that relationship with

him. And I would encourage you to

that's the very best step you could take today.

The next group of people may not want to talk to is if you're

married in this room. Listen, if you're not, I'm going

to get back to you in just a bit, but if you're married and

your step is, we made it an intentional step for you to take

today up here at our steps. And if you're online, you can

just go to the crossing dotnet forward, slash family, and

you'll find this. But up here is a packet and

maybe your first step in just a little bit.

When the music starts is just to take your spouse by their hand,

walk up to the steps, grab one of these, get on your knees and

pray over it. And what's inside of this is

going to help you succeed in a date night.

There's eight different cards that you would open on this one

night and you just go through it.

The first one like Jerry said is just picking a spot to go eat

and then it will progress throughout dinner this may be a

tool that can turn your marriage around.

It could be a tool that continues to invest in your

marriage to keep it going strong.

I don't know where you're at but I believe, man, if we can do

this as a church and we can get serious about taking a step.

What can what can God do through that?

I can't wait to find out all the married couples and just a

little bit. When you come forward and you

pray. Listen.

And some of you, your spouse's are not sitting next to you.

Maybe your step is coming to grab one of these and praying

for your spouse by name, getting on your knees, humbling

yourself. And just saying, Lord, I don't

know how he or. She will take this, but I'm

going to take this challenge as well, and you can have some

incredible incredible conversations over dinner.

But maybe you're not married. Here's what I want you to know.

Listen, this actually can be for you too, because you have

relationships. Some of you, grandparents, you

have a son or a daughter or grandchild.

You can take to dinner. You could take one of these

challenges inside of it, and just replace the word spouse and

just invest in that relationship.

God can take a lot of ground in that relationship.

And you know, I think those five love languages, you can actually

accomplish all five over this date.

If you think about it all five of them can be fulfilled.

And just this one time where you get together with your spouse

your loved one, your friend. but as always, you could here's an

option and we start singing, you could just stay still, you could

You could just say, man. That's our marriage is good or

our marriage has passed help. We can't we can't do anything

else. You could just say I'm good, but

I believe we're a church. That moves I believe.

We're a church that just wants to take these steps and here's

what we want to do. We want to move out of our seats

and let God do what only God can do.

So I hope you're with me. Let's stand to our feet and

let's just give God all of this right now in this moment.

Let's take a step, Heavenly Father, you are our Firm

Foundation. You are our Solid Rock all other

ground is sinking sand. So God in this moment we just

offer up whatever relationship. We need to offer up in this

moment. Got a pizza, a marriage.

I pray for those spouses God that they would, they would

relate to what you say, in your word.

Some of these incredible resources that we talked about

today, but God, I pray, that the spouse would take a step today.

That marriages would be restored and healed today.

In your name, Jesus, you can do even more than we ask or imagine

Lord, if it's a relationship that just needs investment in.

I pray that you do. What that, what you can do in

that and that relationship, Lord.

But as we sing these songs, I pray that we're a church, that

moves a church. That responds a church is

saying, I'm not. Okay, with where I came in at, I

want to draw closer. Sir, to you and invest in these

relationships. Oh God.

Let us be a church. That moves in Jesus name.

Amen.