Sermon

Glowing Rectangles | Clayton Hentzel

Crossing Church with Clayton Hentzel

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  1. Man, I don't know about you, but I am so glad I decided to come

  2. to church today, man. It's been good, I tell you what,

  3. I am, just so thankful. We get to spend some time

  4. together. I want to welcome those of you

  5. joining here and all of our different locations.

  6. Those of you who are part of the crossing inside, special

  7. shout-out to those of you who are watching The Crossing

  8. online. Cool story.

  9. Last week, we're preaching on circles are where the be the

  10. village shirt. Lot of you guys went and bought

  11. some sweatshirts and shirts that link still available if you want

  12. to buy some But a person who lives in a different state was

  13. watching our services online, heard about that Ministry.

  14. They've been setting aside a pile of cash and looking for

  15. something to do with it on Thursday before, I went to

  16. preach, I got a call from the lady who works in our office.

  17. Who runs the not-for-profit. She had some out-of-town check

  18. from a guy saying, hey, we just believe in what you're doing.

  19. We want to support you. So those of you were part of a

  20. Crossing online. How cool are you guys?

  21. And we're so thankful that we get to do ministry with you, And

  22. I know a lot of you are getting ready to start watching services

  23. online from the Lake of the Ozarks.

  24. I know that's about to happen, and I want you to know that if

  25. you want someone to preach that sermon live, You like someone

  26. Dockside, you know, Jesus did a lot of ministry on the shores of

  27. a lake, and if you want help, I'll come and I can even baptize

  28. you in that water. Okay, I'll do will do live.

  29. Sermons will take the service live from your living room.

  30. Your Lakeside living room, nice Windows.

  31. That's what I'm going for now. We've been in a sermon series

  32. called better, how to win at home because we believe that

  33. everyone wants to win at home, and we started off the sermon

  34. series. The core belief that we have

  35. here at the Crossing which is that we believe that God can

  36. redeem anything and everything and that includes your family

  37. and we talked about can Suki that sometimes the broken

  38. pieces, the pieces that we want to throw away and discard that

  39. we think no longer have any value in any use that if they're

  40. placed in God's hands that his golden finger of redemption can

  41. put things back together in a way, that is beautiful and

  42. breathtaking. And that, when he's done the end

  43. product can Really sometimes end up looking better than what the

  44. original product looked like. And we believe that God can do

  45. that in your life, in your relationships, and in your

  46. family. But we believe that in order for

  47. your family to have the best chance of success, you need to

  48. have a strong foundation and that there is no better

  49. Foundation than Jesus Christ. No matter what the world throws

  50. at you. If your life, your family, your

  51. marriage are rooted in God and his word and you trust your put

  52. your life on that Solid Rock, you will not?

  53. Be shaken or destroyed. And then we talked about how we

  54. are wired, generally around gender, and generally around our

  55. emotions and then we encourage you guys to go on date night

  56. challenging if you guys haven't done that yet, you should

  57. definitely do that. And I'll give you a link in a

  58. second where you can get some of those challenges but hearing the

  59. stories of how the conversations happen inside of those marriages

  60. and what they learned about each other and how it shaped the way

  61. that they're operating is just a tremendous gift that you gave

  62. yourself and your kids and your Sure kids and then last week we

  63. talked about parenting and how we're all on a journey, a

  64. journey from control to consultant and that the way that

  65. God equipped us to navigate that transition is through circles.

  66. And we agree that everyone needs a better Circle that a better

  67. Circle makes for a better experience and that every Circle

  68. needs to challenge us. And we talked about one of the

  69. shifts that we're making here at the Crossing and that we're no

  70. longer calling our 02:18 Ministries next-gen.

  71. We're going to start I'm them this gin because they're not

  72. next there. Now we don't want them to just

  73. be Leaders of Tomorrow. We want them to be leaders of

  74. today and we asked you guys all to take time to write.

  75. Thank you cards to the circle, makers and circle, fillers in

  76. your life. And we also talked about this

  77. boardroom and I hope you guys will use this in your own life

  78. that in the boredom of your life, you have 8 to 12 seats and

  79. you have to ask yourself who are the people that are sitting in

  80. the boardroom of my life. Life now because whoever you put

  81. around this table in your life, it's going to impact your

  82. marriage, it's going to impact your parenting, it's going to

  83. impact your physical health, your emotional health, your

  84. Spiritual Development, your finances, who you put in your

  85. circle and in the circle of your kids is life matters.

  86. Now, some of you are going to, man.

  87. I feel like I've missed a lot because you're traveling, you

  88. have something going on. So I want you to know, if you're

  89. wanting to get access to some of the tools, the resources, and

  90. even some of the messages, you can go to this website.

  91. Down here or you can do the phone thing.

  92. The crossing dotnet / family, where you can get access to

  93. everything that we've been doing in the sermon series.

  94. So if you know, for you, or if you're like me and I that family

  95. had their windows open yesterday and I think they need this

  96. sermon because my neighbor might be good.

  97. Yeah, you could send it. Okay, now today we're going to

  98. talk about glowing rectangles, everybody said glowing

  99. rectangles, Now, before I get into this message, a couple

  100. things one, there's going to be a part of you during the

  101. semester that you might think that I am like your right wing

  102. champion and that like you know, I'm you know, going way too old

  103. school and I just need, you know upfront.

  104. Nope that's not what I'm actually trying to do.

  105. I'm going to try and put you in a position where you can make an

  106. informed decision about how to lead yourself and your family.

  107. And I'm going to put your in the Receipt, you're the expert.

  108. What I want to do is I want to make sure you're at least giving

  109. yourself the opportunity to have the conversations.

  110. And in order to do that, I want to kind of talk to you today

  111. with a pastoral voice. And, you know, we can use a lot

  112. of different voices. You know, we can sometimes talk

  113. from a leadership voice and cast a compelling vision and paint a

  114. clearer picture of how we're going to get to our future and

  115. that's all well and good. And and we can sometimes, you

  116. know, we can have kind of a counselor voice and help us

  117. navigate eight through some of the emotions or we can be a

  118. teacher and help us understand something more fully today.

  119. I really want to kind of speak to you with a pastoral heart and

  120. you kind of have to give me permission to do that because

  121. you know, you get to decide how much of you know of your pastor.

  122. I get to be your not but let me explain what I'm getting at.

  123. When the Bible talks about pastors, it usually uses the

  124. imagery of a shepherd. That a good.

  125. Pastor is a Good Shepherd. In a Shepherd, does a really

  126. good job of taking care of his sheep?

  127. And so, what a Shepherd supposed to do is go, hey sheep, look at

  128. that water. That's some really good water.

  129. You should drink that water, and look at that grass.

  130. That is some really good grass. You should eat that grass and

  131. that that's a wolf. Wolves bite.

  132. You shouldn't go anywhere close to that thing.

  133. And those are thistles and you know, the way God Made You, you

  134. got a lot of wool on you if you get in those thistles.

  135. You're going to get hung up and stuck and that's poop and we

  136. don't eat poop. Okay, that's that's what that's

  137. what a Shepherd does. And so what I want to do today

  138. is I want to kind of talk to you the Pastoral heart and go.

  139. Hey guys, those are thistles, those are wolves, and I wouldn't

  140. eat that. And you listen, you make the

  141. decision but I feel like I have an obligation to spend a little

  142. bit of time, talking about something that I think is,

  143. impacting us all, we're all aware of it, but maybe, We're

  144. not necessarily taking the steps that we need to take to address

  145. it. Here we go.

  146. When I was growing up, we had choices.

  147. Everything was a different conversation.

  148. We had a phone in our house. And then what we did is some of

  149. you. We had friends who they went out

  150. and spent money on like the 150 foot long cord, that could go

  151. from the kitchen down the hall into their daughter's room into

  152. the bathroom and into her walk-in closet.

  153. And this thing just spun all the way anybody.

  154. How many of you guys have that phone?

  155. Oh yeah, okay, yeah, and then some of us, some of you grew up

  156. a little rich. You had call waiting.

  157. You're on the phone. One moment, please.

  158. Hello. Yes, he is here but I'm on the

  159. other line, right? Yeah.

  160. Okay. Some of you you came from like

  161. super rich people and at Christmas like, you got your own

  162. phone line at the house, like, you had a separate line.

  163. You guys were total Ballers and like you would give like after

  164. Christmas, you give somebody your number, like I still

  165. remember Nikki's phone number. Oh 58-37, 20 585, Sarah orts.

  166. 372 7631. This is back.

  167. When you actually remembered people's phone numbers, like,

  168. you knew Pizza Hut, like you knew Papa, John's like you knew

  169. him, you called him up and I like, what's up, man?

  170. They just knew your voice. Well, I guess.

  171. Same thing saying, yeah, I want, you know, I want to pepperonis

  172. on with the stuff Crescent, you know, where to deliver it

  173. because you know who this is, That's How okay, yeah, this is

  174. it's a whole different world. Some of you like, tell me more

  175. okay, like we were so young in the cell phone game That my

  176. dad's phone number is nine one of his phone numbers is nine

  177. thousand. One of them is two thousand and

  178. one of them is 9,500, that's how early we were to the cell phone

  179. game. Okay?

  180. Now, before I before, the cell phone game came, there was

  181. though the wireless phone. Remember when you got one of

  182. those, no wires had the big long.

  183. Antennae that when you're my height get stuck in the ceiling

  184. fan. Okay.

  185. Here's walking through there. I can't hear you.

  186. Okay? And it was huge member Have that

  187. thing and you put it on and like wrapped all the way around your

  188. face. You need a spotter when you're

  189. walking around with it. Okay.

  190. And so whether or not you were going to get one of those was a

  191. big deal because it was a big investment.

  192. Then there was a discussion of whether or not we got the TV in

  193. my room. And there's a discussion about

  194. whether or not we were going to get cable, fun fact, my parents

  195. have never had cable. They have watched whatever was

  196. free their whole lives. If they wanted to watch a game

  197. that was going to be on cable kid, you not?

  198. They would rent a hotel room. Because I had came with cable

  199. but no joke, or they just hang out in the lobby at a hotel.

  200. Like we're just like, okay, this is how it is part of that was

  201. because of the finances and part of it was because some of the

  202. programming that was on cable, late at night, wasn't

  203. necessarily suitable for the spiritual development of a

  204. family. Then there was a discussion

  205. about whether or not we were going to have a gaming device.

  206. There was going to be the you know, can I have the Nintendo?

  207. No, Super Nintendo. Nope.

  208. Can I have the Sega Genesis? Yeah, Street Fighter.

  209. No couldn't have that either. In fact, I did not get a gaming

  210. device until I was a junior in college and I paid for it with

  211. my own money. A lot of my friends had game

  212. boys so they can play Tetris in the car ride.

  213. Yeah, I didn't get that either. Then and this is going to make

  214. some of you go. How old is Clayton?

  215. Listen, I am very young and attractive, okay, I was a

  216. freshman in high school when I logged onto the internet for the

  217. first time, I remember the it loading slowly as I looked up

  218. stock prices, you're like Clayton, you're a freshman

  219. looking up stock prices. Yes, suckers I was wish out

  220. about Google. Okay, and I mean, this was back

  221. when Ask Jeeves was where you hung out, okay?

  222. And I remember it loading and back then, you couldn't we got

  223. internet at my parents house and you bought it by the minute.

  224. We bought like a an hour of internet for the whole month.

  225. Spend it wisely kids, and you spent 28 of it loading, right?

  226. And you couldn't sneak onto the internet at your house. you

  227. know, if you know Right? You couldn't you couldn't just

  228. be online. They like everybody's waking up

  229. thinking that there's a tornado know that I'm just pulling up

  230. Yahoo that's what I'm doing. Okay, you guys have been there.

  231. Now we give our kids a phone and we're giving them all of this

  232. and more. They're getting a phone, a

  233. messaging device. The internet VCR.

  234. Some of your like VCR tell you ask her parents.

  235. It's super cool email and a gaming device.

  236. There was a time when our kids were isolated from the craziness

  237. that we saw on the east coast and the West Coast.

  238. Some of the things that we saw and heard is Dan.

  239. Rather reported in the evening news, our kids were kept from if

  240. they wanted to see something explicit content, you had to go

  241. into the video store and you had to go to the very back and you

  242. had to go into a room that was off-limits to anybody who wasn't

  243. over the age of 18. And there was a video camera

  244. there to make sure that nobody went in there.

  245. That wasn't supposed to go in there.

  246. If you wanted to get us other kinds of content, you had to go

  247. to the gas station and you add to ask the lady who was working

  248. at the register to reach behind the register and grab something,

  249. and you had to call it by name. And then she picked it up and it

  250. came in a black thing and they put it on the tip you had to ask

  251. for it. And now all the things that we

  252. used to be able to protect our kids from are now sent to them

  253. on their phone, Jesus uses a perfect illustration of what

  254. it's like trying to lead through change and this is what he says.

  255. In Matthew chapter 9, no one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth

    Matthew 9 chapter mention

  256. on an old garment. For the patch will pull away

  257. from the Garment making the tear worse.

  258. Neither do people pour new wine into Old wineskins?

  259. If they do the Skins will burst and the wine will run out and

  260. the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new

  261. wineskins and both are preserved.

  262. The goal of this sermon is to make sure that things don't

  263. burst things aren't ruined but that you and your family are

  264. preserved. In other words, the new patch of

  265. Technology will not work with the parenting styles that you

  266. inherited from your parents. The newness of Technology will

  267. burst our old parenting techniques and there is too much

  268. that is changed and there is too much at stake.

  269. We need new methods while our desires can be the same and our

  270. principles may be the same our method and our approach.

  271. Must be drastically, different and Kingdom focused.

  272. God gives us a cheat code on how to live the life that we were

  273. designed to live. You can find the cheat code and

  274. Proverbs chapter 4 he says above all else preeminent.

    Proverbs 4 chapter mention

  275. Number one, Numero Uno. Get this thing right above all

  276. else, guard your heart. The most important thing for you

  277. to do, is to guard your heart. Why, why is this important?

  278. He tells us for everything, you do flows from it.

  279. We must be committed to guarding our hearts and the hearts of our

  280. kids. And I hear regularly parents

  281. talking about the frustration that they have with social media

  282. and the impact that it is having on their kids and they have

  283. plenty to be frustrated by the link between social media and

  284. depression is staggering with some studies, showing a 66%

  285. increase. Hear that?

  286. but since the introduction of the smartphone between 8th grade

  287. and 12th grade between that subset of people among girls in

  288. that age category, the suicide rate for girls has gone up by

  289. 65% The studies are completely conclusive.

  290. The more time you spend on Instagram, the more you will

  291. struggle with anxiety. Kids with smartphones who get to

  292. take them to bed are getting one less hour of sleep than parents

  293. who make their kids turn in their phones before they go to

  294. bed. And that one hour is robbing

  295. them of the time that they need for the brain to restore and

  296. develop and be healthy, which means it makes it harder for

  297. them to learn which makes it harder for them to pass.

  298. Get good grades in school which makes it harder for them to

  299. compete in the marketplace long term, which will long-term have

  300. economic impact negatively for them.

  301. Also changes the way that their brain is a healed.

  302. So that way, they have a harder time relating to people the next

  303. day, which means that they're gonna have a harder time

  304. relating with you, their parent. Which means that that an extra

  305. hour of sleep is actually putting more tension on a

  306. relationship that already has. A lot of tension.

  307. And as you try to navigate from control to consultant, you're

  308. doing it with the kid. That's not actually in a proper

  309. place to be able to receive coaching and consultation.

  310. Everybody say five. Five years ago.

  311. Sixty-two percent of teenagers say they have received a nude

  312. image on their phone. That was five years ago.

  313. Five years ago, forty percent say they have sent one.

  314. I know why Miss in the sermon. You guys are all going.

  315. Not my kid, but I can promise you.

  316. There is not another church somewhere.

  317. Where all of them. We're going.

  318. I guess it's all of us. This is real.

  319. Furthermore, you're having to fight an algorithm.

  320. And this algorithm is hard to fight because the algorithm is

  321. smarter than you. It is designed to keep your

  322. attention and keep your focus. Everything about it is designed

  323. to keep things moving. Have you noticed that when

  324. you're scrolling through Netflix, it already starts

  325. playing the video. When you pull up YouTube on your

  326. phone, do you notice how to automatically go straight to the

  327. shorts sometimes because it just wants to suck you in.

  328. The whole purpose is for you to spend a little bit more time

  329. looking, and it notices, what you look at, it notices, what

  330. you cook on it, notices, how long you pause over certain

  331. content and certain articles, it notices, how long you linger.

  332. Even if you don't click on it it notices how long you watch it

  333. without even the sound being on? And then it begins to send you

  334. more and more similar content. Recently a pastor on Twitter you

  335. know from like a pretty proudful standpoint says parents, keep

  336. all your kids off a tick tock because my Tick Tock feed is

  337. nothing but girls who aren't dressed appropriately dancing.

  338. Like, there's some comments in the one person wrote.

  339. Hey, dude. It's an algorithm.

  340. The reason why your feet looks like that is because that's what

  341. you look at it. That's what happens is the

  342. algorithm creates a world in which you think that everybody

  343. believes exactly what you believe in.

  344. Everybody is seeing exactly what you see.

  345. If you notice how many people get caught up in a conspiracy

  346. theory because you read one article from crazy people and

  347. the algorithm says, oh, you like crazy things.

  348. I'll send you more crazy things and you see more and more crazy

  349. things than eventually you see everybody who's crazy as normal

  350. because that's all you, see? And then when somebody else

  351. tries to talk to you about how crazy you are, all you can do is

  352. see the Front of you that you've known your whole life as the

  353. crazy person and the people you trust are the people you've

  354. never met. Online.

  355. Parents, what happens in the algorithm is, your daughter is

  356. having a bad day. She doesn't feel as pretty as

  357. she normally does. And so, she hops on and for some

  358. reason because she's just kind of down and having kind of a

  359. challenging day. She gravitates to somebody else

  360. who's having a difficult day and so she clicks on that video and

  361. she watches that video. And that video is talks about a

  362. girl who's struggling with her body image and well, the longer

  363. your daughter watches that thing on body image.

  364. The algorithm goes, this girl likes to watch content about

  365. girls who struggle with body image.

  366. And so it starts, populating her feed with more and more girls

  367. who are struggling with, how they look.

  368. And then all of a sudden, your precious little girl who you see

  369. as absolutely beautiful and who is radiant by every standard and

  370. all of a sudden she's realizing that my goodness look at all

  371. these girls looks like everybody has a problem with the way that

  372. their body looks and if those girls have a problem with the

  373. way that their body looks and their body looks better than

  374. mine, maybe I should have a problem with the way that my

  375. body looks because my body doesn't look as good as theirs.

  376. There's an overtime. Your daughter starts to

  377. experience depression thoughts of self-harm or maybe begins to

  378. wrestle with anorexia or bulimia.

  379. Parents who have sons. Your son is trying to figure out

  380. how to navigate his emotions in his hormones and there's no

  381. doubt about it. He likes the sight of pretty

  382. girls and from what I've been told the internet's full of

  383. pictures of women and so he finds himself online and he sees

  384. a picture of a pretty girl and then he sees another picture of

  385. a pretty girl in the algorithm goes whoever's on this device

  386. really likes pictures of pretty girls and then it notices which

  387. kind of pictures he stays out longer and which kind of

  388. pictures. Do you think your son would stay

  389. at and look at longer and all of a sudden you're innocent child,

  390. he wants one day to have a great and compelling relationship with

  391. his wife. There's all of a sudden

  392. bombarded by just pictures of pretty girls in overtime.

  393. It erodes his desire to love and care and nurture and overtime.

  394. It teaches him to objectify, women, as a way for him, to get

  395. take care of his desires instead of a way for him to serve and

  396. love and care. This is how kids end up

  397. experimenting sexually and how they end up experimenting with

  398. drugs. This is how kids end up eating

  399. Tide Pods I know that sounds crazy.

  400. There was a time when I laughed a ton about like the whole tide

  401. pod crais because I'm like, like they know, it's so bright.

  402. And I mean, this weekend is I was doing laundry humblebrag.

  403. My house. We have Tide Pods And I'll be

  404. darned if they haven't made those things impossible to get

  405. out of the bag. And I'm sitting there thinking

  406. like how did this happen? Listen it wasn't from absent

  407. parents, it wasn't from bad parents.

  408. They're those kids who are eating Tide Pods, their parents

  409. look, just like you and me. It was that those kids is feeds.

  410. Got filled with the world of people who are eating detergent

  411. and getting popular for it and the kids were like, I guess I

  412. could probably try and eat one too.

  413. Look what it says in Ephesians 5.

  414. Be very careful then how you live not as unwise but as wise

  415. making the most of every opportunity because the days are

  416. evil. Parents, be careful, be wise,

  417. make the most of every opportunity because the days are

  418. evil as Christians. We have a choice.

  419. We can either reject receive, or redeem technology.

  420. Some of you may choose right now to reject it and go, you know

  421. what, the we're not going to be doing it.

  422. We're tapping out, or Of you might say, you know what, not

  423. now maybe later we'll have that discussion but we're not going

  424. to be having that happen. Now I hear a lot of parents, get

  425. frustrated saying that their kids are always on their phone.

  426. And inside, I always want to say, you know, you can take it

  427. away, right? Like like you can you can take

  428. it away. Are you can get a phone that

  429. just talks and texts and that's it.

  430. So you know that they got to where they were supposed to go

  431. safely and when they need to reach out to you and get in

  432. touch with you, they can you could buy the Light phone.

  433. This is a phone that was put together by a group of guys that

  434. were at Google and they got charged to develop a new app and

  435. what they realized is the world doesn't need another app, it

  436. needs a phone that doesn't have apps and so they created this

  437. like yeah, here you go kid. You know, when you get cold call

  438. me, I'll pick you up. Hear me some of your kids.

  439. Some of your kids are going to wrestle with anxiety,

  440. depression, self-harm low, self-esteem, explicit, content,

  441. and Suicidal Thoughts. Because of their use of

  442. technology and social media. And some of you might need to

  443. make a tough call today, in order to have a better future

  444. with your kids. Tomorrow, most of us are way

  445. more educated about alcohol and its effects on our kids than we

  446. are about social media. And I'm telling you, social

  447. media and Technology are going to have a much more profound

  448. impact on your kid than a Jack and Coke ever will.

  449. Some of your kids are listening to me right now and you're going

  450. of all the services for us to come to God.

  451. Why do you hate me? Can I come here?

  452. I need you to hear me say this. We are for you.

  453. And I am telling you that there is a life for you to live an

  454. experience that is infinitely better than anything.

  455. You can watch on a device and I know it's hard.

  456. Okay I appreciate I appreciate that.

  457. Just remember who clapped We're going to have to love our kids

  458. through this. Because it has become an

  459. addiction that they're going to have to be freed from and some

  460. of them are going there. Freaking out right now like what

  461. our mom and dad are going to do after church, and you need to

  462. lovingly help them through because you let them get there.

  463. You let them get hooked. Now, so you can reject it, you

  464. can receive it go. Hey, social media is good.

  465. I want to know how my grandma is doing on Facebook and I want to

  466. know how my aunt's doing and look.

  467. How good she is at making cakes. She's so good.

  468. And youyou need that information in your life and some of you

  469. want to know how to change a tire.

  470. And so you want, YouTube, okay, you're going to receive it, but

  471. you're not going to spend all your time on it and there might

  472. be some of you are going. You know what, I want to redeem

  473. it. I want to be a force for good.

  474. I want to go out there and and Encouraging content to uplift

  475. people. I want to be a light in a dark

  476. place, and you can do that too. And I mean, like, for me, I try

  477. carefully not to be on it too much.

  478. I don't even answer my messages. There's a team of people here

  479. that do it because I try not to be on it that much.

  480. Because if I get on and I might not I might not get out, right?

  481. Some of your like oh yeah Clayton we get eat each other,

  482. we can redeem it. We can we can choose to just

  483. post and maybe you know not spend a whole lot of time

  484. scrolling as much but the other challenge that we're facing with

  485. technology. Is how it affects our time

  486. because it will, it will it creates a Time trap and the

  487. algorithm is specifically designed to steal your time in

  488. the beginning of the year. I preached a sermon about

  489. sometimes when it comes to starting a relationship with

  490. Jesus Christ, it just takes time.

  491. And one of the most important factors that you need as a

  492. parent with your kids to help raise them in a way that honors,

  493. the Lord is you need time. And I heard this a while back, I

  494. don't know who to give this credit for.

  495. I'm going to walk you through these things because I've never

  496. been able to forget. But I need you to know that I

  497. didn't come up with it but I don't know who to give credit

  498. to. Okay, so I don't want you going

  499. man. Clayton is really getting smart.

  500. Nope. This is not me.

  501. Okay, look at this. Time overtime is history and if

  502. you lose time, you don't have history and you're going to need

  503. history with your kids. As you try to become a

  504. consultant in their future. Love over time.

  505. That's how your child gets worth.

  506. And if you'd lose time with your kids, they're not going to have

  507. a sense of their worth. They're not gonna be able to see

  508. themselves through God's eyes, and they're not gonna be able to

  509. see themselves through your eyes and listen to me.

  510. Love overtime is the most is the most powerful.

  511. It's more powerful consistently than it ever is in grandiose

  512. moments. You see those people who spend

  513. big money on weddings and big money on honeymoons and big

  514. money on cars and big money on a cool experience.

  515. Listen, if you can do that. Cool, great.

  516. But listen to me. Those grandiose moments are not

  517. more powerful than regular time with your mom and dad.

  518. Like, daily time with your mom and dad.

  519. That's where you're going to win inconsistency in every day,

  520. every week, every month, making strategic Investments to show

  521. them, your love. That's more powerful than

  522. anything you could ever purchase words over time.

  523. That's Direction. And if you lose time, you're not

  524. gonna be able to guide them. When you're no longer in control

  525. stories over time, that's perspective.

  526. This is how you get your kids to see the bigger picture and

  527. they'll see your words. As if you don't have time,

  528. they're going to see your words as controlling.

  529. Instead of wise counsel. Tribe over time.

  530. That's belonging. The word we would use here at

  531. the Crossing is circles circles over time as belonging the

  532. longer they have with the better Circle, the greater sense of

  533. belonging that they will have those spend more time being

  534. accepted by you than trying to be accepted by nameless.

  535. Faceless people online, a child with a strong sense of belonging

  536. will not spend all their time trying to fit in because they

  537. already have a significant place in their own Circle.

  538. And fun overtime is connection and if you don't have time with

  539. your kids you will not have fun with your kids.

  540. We were working on, rehabbing our 02:18 Ministries, we met

  541. with leaders, all across the country and one of the things

  542. that one of the leaders we met with said, was brilliant, we

  543. couldn't shake it. He said, fun is the language of

  544. kids. Have you ever noticed that the

  545. younger child is, the more they laugh and play and then you look

  546. at you, right? If you want to speak kids, you

  547. need to learn to speak fun. Serious question.

  548. When was the last time you had like, so much fun with your kid

  549. that your head was like back, your throat was completely

  550. exposed your stomach hurt. Your sides were like, wow, It's

  551. in those fun moments that we have connections with our kids,

  552. that's when we speak their language and we need to make

  553. time for memories, lots and lots of memories, some of them

  554. planned in some of them spontaneous, I need you to hear

  555. me say this, my wife went on a girls trip with the women in my

  556. family this week because it was spring break.

  557. Okay. And so I was, I was at home with

  558. the boys and I wrote this sermon on Monday and Tuesday.

  559. And I had them spend the days on their iPad so I could write this

  560. message. I need you to, I'm coming to you

  561. as one of you. So on Wednesday, I loaded them

  562. up and I took them up to my parents house is about an hour

  563. away. I bought it you know 12-pack of

  564. Mountain Dew, grabbing another guy who works on staff and his

  565. two dogs which are Border Collies and we have the one of

  566. those ugly goldendoodles. And so they thought it was a

  567. sheep. And so they basically just

  568. hurted my dog for hours because I loved it.

  569. I was like watching, I was like, yeah, make him run.

  570. Okay, it didn't cost us too much.

  571. I mean, we had to drive an hour, which was, you know, like 800

  572. bucks in gas, but for the most part, like pretty Double and

  573. I'll guess listen to what we did.

  574. We drink Mountain Dew. We watched our dog, getting

  575. hurted. We rode four-wheelers and we

  576. just walked in the woods and you two thought.

  577. My boys were walking on the surface of the Moon.

  578. They thought they were Lewis and Clark.

  579. Not once. Did they ask for their iPad?

  580. Here's the problem. I did math this week.

  581. From the time, your kid enters into kindergarten all the way

  582. until they graduate from high school.

  583. You have 4745 days with them. That's what you have.

  584. It's it. That's 113,000, 8:00.

  585. Of that time. You're going to spend if you're

  586. lucky, they're going to sleep eight hours a day.

  587. Some of you with young kids, God bless you, it's coming one of

  588. these days, they'll be teenagers and you won't be able to get

  589. them out of bed till 11 a.m. on a Saturday.

  590. They'll learn to sleep, God bless them.

  591. If you sleep 8 hours a day which is what your doctor recommends,

  592. 1/3 of the remaining time you have with your kids is gone.

  593. If you're a parent and you love your kids and you love the Lord

  594. and you're capable, you're going to do the honorable thing and

  595. you're going to go get a job and you're going to work hard to

  596. provide for them and make sure that they have a chance to have

  597. their needs met. And so, you're going to spend

  598. thirty two hundred and fifty days at work 26,000 hours.

  599. If you divide all that by 24, you're going to spend 1083 total

  600. days at work. That is 1/4.

  601. You've lost 1/3 to sleep. You've lost 1/4 to work.

  602. This is all you have left. That's it. 2081 24-hour time

  603. periods with your kids. The average person spends 5

  604. hours a day on their phone. Those of you who have iPhones

  605. during this message, you've received your iPhone report.

  606. You know, I'm preaching the gospel.

  607. The average American spends five hours a day on their phone over

  608. the next 13 years. They're going to spend 988 days

  609. on their phone. They're going to spend half of

  610. the remaining time they have left with their kids on their

  611. phone. remember, when you were clapping about kids getting off

  612. their phone, they want you to get off yours.

  613. Like you're clapping like, man. My kidneys to put the phone

  614. down. Yeah, this is what adults are

  615. spending not kids, kids is worse.

  616. But why would they put their phone down?

  617. if you're not putting, give them an alternative, this guy, This

  618. guy right here. Oh, this little guy, these 17

  619. days. Well the average person at our

  620. church comes to church, 1.8 times a month, which means

  621. they're going to come 21.6 weekends a year.

  622. If you were to be here for an hour and a half, which means

  623. you'd be here, 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes late.

  624. And I know you That ain't you? We're going to get 17 days with

  625. your kid. 17. Total.

  626. Why do you think? We push Camp so hard?

  627. Because it's a force multiplier in the spiritual development of

  628. your kid's life? We're not asking you to send

  629. your kid to camp for us. We're begging you to send your

  630. kid to camp on behalf of your kid.

  631. Because we only get 17 days. And then our people here at our

  632. church are good. They're not that good.

  633. Because they're going to spend fifty eight more times on their

  634. phone, they're going to be discipled by this.

  635. And you think we're going to try and fix it with 17 days against

  636. 988 and look how much time you have with them.

  637. I can barely lift this thing. We're given half of it to our

  638. phones. Is that how you want it to be?

  639. Look at this verse in First Corinthians, I have the right to

  640. do anything. You all have a right to

  641. technology. You all have a right to social

  642. media. You have a right to it.

  643. All you say, but not everything is beneficial.

  644. I have the right to do anything but not everything is

  645. constructive. No one should seek their own

  646. good but the good of others, I want some of you to ask

  647. yourself. This question is this beneficial

  648. is this constructive? And is this good for my family?

  649. Here's what I want you to do at all of our locations, I have two

  650. challenges for you. One I want you to attend the

  651. tech class that we're offering at are different locations

  652. because there are tools that we want to put in your tool belt to

  653. help you navigate your kids usage of Technology.

  654. Okay, you get to make the decision of how you want to do

  655. it but we if you're going to use it we at least want you to be

  656. informed. So you know, how to navigate it.

  657. And our people have been working on this because we love you and

  658. we're for you and we want you to win at home.

  659. Second thing, here's the challenge, this week, at least

  660. two nights, everybody say, at least, at least two nights are

  661. like, if you're going to leave our church leave after you do

  662. this, okay, two nights this week from six to eight.

  663. I want you to turn your phone off.

  664. All of them turn your TV's off. All of it, no devices.

  665. You like well, what if Grandma dies she ain't going to call you

  666. anyway. Like right now, I got me.

  667. I'm never. I mean, if you're getting calls

  668. from dead people, you know, call me.

  669. Okay, listen, there's gonna be a day where Grandpa or Grandma or

  670. something bad is going to happen, but you are not listen

  671. to me. You are not leaving your phone

  672. off for all of those things. Like some of your like I'm an ER

  673. doctor. Yeah, you have a pager which is

  674. weird that you make all that money and you still Rock a pager

  675. but cool some of your like, what's a pager?

  676. Yeah. That's what I'm getting at.

  677. Look at me two hours, you're not going to solve any of it and two

  678. hours, you can pick up the pieces.

  679. You've all been on planes. And you've made it to hours

  680. without your phone ringing and guess what?

  681. The world just kept on spinning because you're not that

  682. important. You just need to recognize that

  683. turn it off. What are we going to do for two

  684. hours? Clayton?

  685. Check it out. It's going to sound crazy.

  686. Cook a meal. It might not be that delicious.

  687. Eat it. Anyway with your kids, go for a

  688. walk. Throw a ball.

  689. Play a board game. Make a memory at least twice

  690. this week and at the end of the week, I want you to ask yourself

  691. this question, was it better? And you already know I'm right.

  692. You already going. This is I can't wait make

  693. spaghetti and wear white shirts and make it into a Color Run.

  694. You make a memory and don't stop halfway through it to Post

  695. online and brag about how cool your spaghetti shirts are.

  696. Just be in the moment and stop trying to be a celebrity, just

  697. be a mom, just be a dad. Go on a walk and do something

  698. silly to a neighbor laugh. like, Some of your like why I'm

  699. single, what should I do? But your phone down.

  700. Go grab a meal, read your Bible, find someone who you want to be

  701. like and take him out to eat and just talk to him.

  702. Find someone that you want to invest in and spend time with

  703. them. Stop trying to escape all the

  704. time and Technology. Here's what's happening.

  705. We are slowly over time being convinced that our life is not

  706. worth living. And the best thing we can do

  707. with our life is to watch other people live their lives online.

  708. And what you're saying is that you don't think your life has

  709. value and purpose and meaning and significance because you

  710. don't have anything to contribute and add and change.

  711. We are watching other people. Instead of living the life that

  712. God breathed into us. We are watching what God

  713. breathed into others. Instead of offering our piece of

  714. the contribution, you might not think your life was worth all

  715. that much. But I need you to know.

  716. It was worth enough that God sent his son.

  717. In fact, he was willing to send his son to die so that way you

  718. could live. You might be looking at your

  719. life going. I don't have that much to offer.

  720. I need you to know. It was enough that God sent his

  721. son to offer on your behalf. Stop wasting the life that God

  722. is trying to redeem. I want you to think about that,

  723. as we're moving to a time of decision.

  724. It's been weird, a lot of old people really like this sermon.

  725. I had someone on Thursday night, come up to me with tears, in his

  726. eyes saying that whole sermon reminded me of my dad who every

  727. time when he came home for work, he would take me out in the

  728. backyard and he would throw the ball back and forth with me and

  729. it wasn't long before. All the kids in the neighborhood

  730. were in my backyard. And I got a little frustrated,

  731. all my friends came over to play, catch with my dad and

  732. little, I didn't realize that. I was the lucky one, who had a

  733. dad, who would spend time with his kid.

  734. And all the other kids in my neighborhood, were just hungry

  735. for someone to invest in them. And I know there's plenty of

  736. dads in this room who are frustrated with what you're

  737. seeing in the world. And I'm wondering, you're

  738. frustrated what you see in your neighborhood.

  739. And I'm wondering if anything would be different.

  740. If instead of complaining about it, you got you went to Dick's

  741. and you bought a new glove today.

  742. And you went home and you just said, alright, well, we're going

  743. to play catch. Until your arm hurts?

  744. Or my arm hurts, you're not making memories watching a

  745. movie. Do something with them.

  746. Mom's, I wonder what would happen if you were to, like,

  747. open up your home, and let some kids come in and hang out and

  748. laugh with them and sit around the table, and tell stories, and

  749. tell jokes, and make mac and cheese just spend time with

  750. them. I don't know, parents are some

  751. of you in here that I'm writing this sermon, I get done with it,

  752. I preaching on Thursday, I'm watching the NCAA tournament

  753. late on Friday night and a commercial comes on by Duracell

  754. and they're telling you which brand you should pick and

  755. they're going. Because if you pick the wrong

  756. one then it flashes to a kid in the car screaming because you

  757. don't want your battery to die. Because of the battery dies,

  758. you're going to have to interact with your kid.

  759. You're choosing which battery you want based on whether or not

  760. you have to interact with your kid.

  761. And by in here, old enough to remember, when it was the car

  762. rides that you actually got to ask that questions.

  763. It was when Mom would tell you stories.

  764. And what do we do? God forbid, we get in the car

  765. and go somewhere without something to turn on.

  766. And we are going to wake up one day and they will be gone and we

  767. will want them to know that God loves them and he cares for them

  768. and that he believes in that they can do great things but

  769. they We'll never hear it. Because they'll never hear it

  770. from us. Here's what I'm asking you to

  771. do. I'm asking you to take these two

  772. challenges parents. I'm asking you to come up here.

  773. Get down on your knees and pray that God will bring about

  774. clarity about how you are supposed to proceed and we need

  775. to proceed in humility, parents. If you're going home thinking

  776. your kids, the problem. Chances are your kid, doesn't

  777. have a job. They didn't buy it, you gave it

  778. to them. Thinking you were cool and you

  779. like yours just as much as they like, there's we're going to

  780. have to leave through this one with a lot of humility.

  781. But I think deep down inside, I know you want it.

  782. You want a different family, you want to win.

  783. Well, it's start that. To the rest of you in this room,

  784. you're going man. What is up with this church?

  785. Listen, hear me. We're going to get back to it,

  786. trust me. But we needed to just pause and

  787. spend some serious time. Helping people went home.

  788. But the core belief that our church is that anybody can have

  789. an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

  790. You heard me say that the end of my message, your life has

  791. purpose and value. Not only did God create you, he

  792. sent his son to redeem you. And if you've been coming to

  793. this church for a really long time and you've never started

  794. that relationship, we'd like to help you answer some of the

  795. questions you I have about how to start it then it just a few

  796. moments me and somebody else we're gonna be right over by

  797. that baptistry. And we would love to talk to you

  798. about what that looks like because we believe that will be

  799. one of the best decisions I've ever made.

  800. Would you guys stand with me? God, use this moment right now,

  801. in a powerful way to bring about a change.

  802. That only, you can bring got as we get down on our knees as we

  803. pray to, you gotta meet us here, meet us in a profound way.

  804. I'm asking you to heal and redeem and restore things that

  805. are broken in our home. And draw those who are far away

  806. clothes, you know, my praying.