How Pride Sabotages Your Life and How to Overcome It

Crossing Nation, It is so good to be able to spend time with

you today before I jump into the sermon last week, I was

preaching through our state of the church and I was going

through our core values. And when I was talking about two

of our core values, in specific about our church being outward

and our church being downward, I was talking about how our church

has a heightened focus on those who don't have a relationship

with Jesus. And our church has a heightened

focus on people who are younger over those who are older.

The way I wrapped that terminology and trying to

express my passion and commitment to those core values

was hurtful. And I know that because I got an

incredibly kind e-mail from somebody who basically said the

way you did that stepped on my air hose and it was hurtful.

And as I read through it, I was like, you're right.

And I'm assuming she's not the only person who I hurt.

And so I owe you guys an apology because the gospel of Jesus

Christ requires me to care deeply and love deeply the

people of this church and to say the gospel message in a caring

and kind and compassionate way. And I'm There's going to be

times when I'm going to be offensive, because the gospel is

offensive, but I don't need to be needlessly offensive for the

purpose of a joke, a jab, or a sermon filler.

You guys deserve better. The gospel deserves better.

Jesus deserves better. And so I wanted you to know, I'm

sorry, I will do better. Some of you guys will write me a

permission slip, but I don't need one and I don't deserve

one. I'm a professional communicator,

and I can figure out ways to communicate my passion in a way

that isn't hurtful and offensive.

And so I'm sorry. That being said, yeah, I really

do. I I really do love you guys and

I'd hate for anything to get in the way of that.

So I'm going to do a really good job if I can, of preaching A

sermon today where I don't step in any mud holes.

So a woman had a young child, and she wanted him to be

mentored by a good teacher. And so she said, would you

please spend the day with my son?

And so the teacher showed up and took the young boy on a walk

through the forest. And as they're walking through

the forest, the teacher pointed out a small tree that was barely

a couple of days old. And he said, I want you to pull

up that tree. And so the boy reached down with

his finger and his thumb, and he plucked that small tree out of

the ground. He goes, good job.

They continue walking through the forest and he comes across

another tree that's several weeks old.

And he tells the young boy to pull that tree out.

And the boy reaches down and he puts his entire hand around the

trunk of the tree and he pulls it out of the ground.

They keep walking through the forest and they go a little bit

further and they find a tree that's well over six months old.

And he says, I want you to pull up that tree.

And so the boy grabs with both hands and he squats down and he

pulls and he pulls and he pulls and eventually he falls back and

the roots release from the ground and he pulls up that tree

and the teacher goes, good job. They keep walking through the

forest and they come across a full grown tree and he says, I

want you to pull that tree up. And the boy goes up and he wraps

his arm around the tree and his hands barely touching their

side. And he pulls and he pulls and he

pulls and eventually he cries out.

It's impossible to pull up this tree and the wise teacher turned

to the boy and he said, and so it is with your habits.

When your habits just begin to blossom, they are easy to

remove. But once they are full grown, it

is impossible to remove them by yourself.

We know this to be true. The good habits that you're

trying to form are so easily discarded, right?

Last night Jennifer said. Do you want anything from the

store? I said whatever you do, don't

get any more of those Hy Vee cookies because I'm going to try

and start dialing it in. And then today, after first

service, I said, are you still going to Hy Vee Right after

church? She goes, yeah, I go pick up

some of those cookies because there's a Chiefs game today,

right? You could.

It just doesn't take any time at all.

Here's what the teacher was trying to tell the young boy Get

control of your habits. Before your habits get control

of you, I want to welcome those of you joining at all of our

different locations, those of you watching online, and those

of you who are hanging out at the Crossing for the first time

or maybe the first time in a long time.

I got a special word to those of you who are gathering at one of

our physical locations. You have made a great decision

for your physical and your mental health.

Weekly church attendance. Weekly church attendance has

been scientifically proven to be good for you.

All this time you thought God was just being legalistic and

all this time you thought pastors were just trying to

boost their numbers. No, no, no, no, no.

When God made you, he knew what was good for you and he calls

you to things that are good for you.

And when you go to church regularly, it is good for you

mentally and it is good for you physically.

It boosts your immune system. Did you know that?

It's probably because there's people who aren't washing their

hands when they're coming out of the bathroom.

Then, like you're just get it decreases your blood pressure.

It adds much as two to three years to your life.

How many of you want to live longer if you didn't raise your

hand? You should really get right with

Jesus today. You don't.

I don't know how much time you got left.

Regular church attenders are less likely to be depressed and

anxious. Those who attend church

regularly have a greater sense of purpose, meaning, and

satisfaction. The survey also goes to get the

same level of satisfaction of going to church regularly, you

would need between a 17 and $25,000 raise.

So if you didn't get a $20,000 raise this year, keep coming to

church, OK? Because that's the only way

you're getting happy. At the very least, you being at

church is a gift to yourself and to those you love.

It's a habit worth keeping, but today we are starting A5 week

sermon series called Creatures of Habit Breaking the Habits

Holding you back from God's Best.

It's based on a book by Steve Poe who's a friend of Jerry and

Allison, and he will actually be here for week 5 of this sermon

series. He was a pastor of a large

church in Indianapolis and he has agreed to come and close out

this sermon series with us. Nobel Prize winning writer

Albert Camus said this life is a sum of all your choices, and to

be honest with you, it's pretty hard to argue with that.

It doesn't take a lot of time, if you're looking around at your

life, to realize that you ended up where you ended up because of

the decisions that you've been making along the way.

You made choices to get where you are right now.

Your financial situation more than likely is a result of

choices that you made. The haircut you have right now,

most of you weren't kidnapped. You made that decision sober.

You said, yeah, I want that, which is great.

Friends you have. How many of you have friends

that you don't really like? The fact that you still have

those people in your life, it's because you refuse to make the

decision to deal with it. The clothes you're wearing, you

decided that and how tight they are right now.

You you made that decision too. The scary part is that

neurobiologists and cognitive psychologists indicate, check

this out, that from 40 to 95% of human behavior, that is what we

think, what we say, and our overall behaviors are based on

habits. What that means is, if life is

based on our decisions, and our decisions are largely based on

our habits, then there are some unavoidable truths.

The first one is that we are creatures of habit, The second

truth, Our habits form us. But the good news is, if you

change your habits, you can change your life. 1st we make

our habits and then our habits make us.

And there is one habit, one single sin.

That is the most destructive habit when it comes to your

spiritual growth. If you're going in 2024, I want

to get closer to God than I've ever been.

This habit will keep you from it.

It is the single biggest destroyer of marriages and

parenting relationships that you desperately desire to have.

If you don't get this one figured out, it's going to hurt

your marriage. It's going to hurt your

parenting. This one habit limits your

ability to be the boss, manager, leader, employee that you want

to be. It keeps you from having deep

and meaningful relationships. This one habit is the headwaters

for so many other sins and vices and harmful habits.

It keeps you from experiencing the favor of God.

What is this devastating habit? What is this devastating sin?

It's the habit. It's the sin of pride.

Now some of you you might be going well, how would I know if

I have a pride problem? Let me give you some

descriptions. If you are super competitive,

you probably have a pride problem.

It's not enough for you to just bring your very best, you must

decimate somebody in the process.

That's why nobody plays Monopoly with me and my family, because I

don't stop until they cry and you put winning above all else.

It's one thing to take pride in your kids, your appearance, your

yard, because you want to bring your very best to the table.

But if the only way you get true satisfaction is if somebody is

defeated, somebody loses, You could have a pride problem.

If you are constantly comparing yourself to others, you might

have a pride problem. Here's what prideful people do.

They pick people to compare themselves to that they know

they will win against. They don't pick somebody that

will make them get better, become a better husband, become

a better wife to compare themselves to.

Oh no, no, no, no, no. They compare themselves to

somebody who's worse than them. So they can say, well, at least

I'm not as bad as fill in the blank.

You might struggle with pride if when you heard the topic of the

sermon, you went, oh, I wish so and so was here because they

could really use this sermon if the first thing that popped in

your mind was somebody else, OK, so far, everybody's surviving.

If you are controlling, you have a pride problem because nobody

can do it like you do it. No one is as good as you.

Your way is the best way to do it, and everyone else's way is

not as good as your way. Ladies, your husband doesn't

help fold the towels because your way is the only way to fold

a towel. And your kids don't help clean

up after dinner and wipe down the countertop, because nobody

cleans off a countertop as good as you.

And it's not that your family's lazy.

It's that you're prideful and controlling.

Fellas, I I took that one for you, and I want you to remember

that, OK? I also need a place to stay this

week. If you are threatened by people

who are smarter than you, more skilled than you, more talented

and gifted than you, you might have a pride problem as a boss.

As a leader, you push those people away because you're

insecure. You don't want them to be better

than you. You don't want to have to

compete against people that will push you and challenge you, and

so you push talented people away from your company, from your

business, from your team, Charlie Munger, who was kind of

the cohort of Warren Buffett, said.

If we only hire people smaller than us, we will become a

company of dwarves. And so your family, your

friendships, you push the people away who challenge you.

So that way you can be in charge.

If you are always talking and rarely listening.

I'm just raising my hand. So that way, you know, I know

that I have a pride problem. My wife during first service was

like speaking so loud at that point that we had to pause the

sermon. You probably have a pride

problem. If you don't ask for help, you

probably have a pride problem. It's not that you're

self-sufficient, it's that you don't want people to know the

real you. You would rather they like the

fake version of you, then love the real version of you.

It keeps you from being honest, and so your relationships don't

grow as deep. If you're a people pleaser, you

might struggle with pride because you are constantly

trying to figure out how to operate your life in a way that

will please everybody else. Because you want everybody else

to think really good about you. You, you, you, you, you.

You might have a pride problem. You have created a world in

which you are the center of the universe.

And hear me. If unchecked, pride will lead

you to dangerous places. It was because of pride that

Satan became Satan. And like Satan, pride will lead

to your destruction both in this world and in the world to come.

Proverbs chapter 16, verse 18 says this Pride goes before

Proverbs 16:18

destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

It leads to your eternal destruction because a prideful

person will never recognize their need for a savior and will

continue to sit on the throne of their lives and their hearts.

The good news is it does not have to be this way.

If we keep reading in verse 20 it says this.

Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers and blessed

is the one who trusts in the Lord.

This year, 2024, how many of you want to prosper?

Those of you who didn't raise your hand, Prospering is a good

thing. How many of you would like a

good thing this year? And you would like to prosper?

Oh, there we go. We got smart people clued in.

How many of you would like God to bless you?

When you are prideful, you cannot heed instruction because

pride can't learn anything. But you allow the Lord to

instruct you. He says he will prosper you and

he will bless you. And the way to do that is we

have to get ourselves out of a position of pride.

A prideful person will never trust in the Lord.

They'll be too busy putting their trust in themselves.

So you might be going, But Clayton, how do I deal with

pride in my life? Well, Peter, one of the people

closest to Jesus, tells us in First Peter chapter 5.

1 Peter 5 · chapter mention

All of you clothe yourselves with humility towards one

another because God opposes the proud but shows favor to the

humble. Hold on a second.

God opposes prideful people. You do not want God as an enemy.

You're going to have enough challenges in your life to have

God go. Nope.

But he shows favor to the humble.

God will take a person who walks in humility, clothes himself in

humility, and he will put them in a position to prosper.

Verse six, humble yourselves therefore, under God's mighty

hand that he may lift you up in due time.

If you want to fight pride, we need to walk in humility.

And here is the promise. As much as God hates pride, he

loves humility. If you want to spend all of your

energy and all of your effort trying to put yourself above

everybody else, God will oppose you.

But if you humble yourself, God gets so excited that when he

sees it, he runs to it and He lifts it up.

Those who humble themselves will be lifted up.

So how do I kill pride and live in humility?

Paul tells us this in Romans chapter 12, verse 3.

Romans 12:3

For by the grace given me, I say to everyone of you, do not think

of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of

yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith

that God has distributed to each of you.

Think of yourself with sober judgement.

Now, I want you to pay close attention here.

Thinking about yourself with sober judgment is not thinking

about yourself poorly. It is not gone.

Boy, I'm just bad at everything. I'm not good at anything.

Everything about me is absolutely horrible.

There's no way God could ever use me.

I don't have anything good to say.

I don't have any value. That is not humility.

That is stupidity. Because when you are saying bad

things about you, you are saying bad things about God because God

made you and God makes good things.

Don't believe me? Look what it says right here in

Ephesians chapter 2. For we, that's you and me are

Ephesians 2 · chapter mention

God's handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works.

Which God prepared in advance for us to do.

God made you, formed you, put you together, equipped you, put

gifts inside of you to be used. You are a gifted, qualified

person to accomplish good things with Christ's help.

And when we start going, well, I'm just not any good and I

can't do anything and I don't have anything to offer.

You're making a statement about something good that God made.

Imagine your kid were to make you like, you know, you would

just came out of the gingerbread season.

Your kid makes a gingerbread house and he brings it to you

and you go, oh, wow, that's trash, right?

You would be saying something about the maker.

And when you look at yourself in the mirror, or when you see

minister or opportunities to serve and to accomplish God's

mission and you go, well, I just can't.

I'm just not. You're making a claim about your

maker. This is about having a sober

judgment. When it comes to you thinking of

yourself honestly, it means that you're not perfect.

It means that you're not the smartest, most gifted person.

You're not the most important person in every room.

You recognize that God created you to be part of the body of

Christ, but you are not Christ. That's what you're supposed to

do. CS Lewis said it this way.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself.

It is thinking of yourself less. And if you stop thinking about

yourself as much as you presently think about yourself,

you will be amazed at how much time you have to think about God

and others. It moves you into a position to

accomplish the 2 greatest commandments.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and

strength. And love your neighbor as

yourself. You were created by God to love

Him and accomplish His mission, and to accomplish his mission by

loving others. Humility is not going.

I can't do anything right. Humility is going.

How can I make the lives of people around me better?

How can I be used by God and for God?

To get an example of what this would look like, look at Mark

Mark 10:45

chapter 10, verse 45. For even the Son of Man, that's

Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and to give his

life as a ransom. For many, a person who is

willing to defeat pride and win in humility sees themselves as a

servant. They see themselves as a

opportunity to be used by God, to make the lives of people

around them better. Instead of looking for ways to

compete and waiting to be celebrated, they're looking for

ways to help others, celebrate others and serve others.

A person who is humble is going to be asking questions like

this. How do I take my gifts that God

gave me and use them to make the lives of the people around me

better? Instead of making myself better,

how do I use my time, my talents, my money, my gifts, and

leverage them to love God and love others?

It's super easy to take the gift that you have and to use it for

you, and we see people doing it all the time, but we have

permission slips when we do it ourselves and condemnation when

we see it in others. A person who's humble takes what

God has given them and they use it to glorify God and to reach

and serve people. This week I want you to find a

way to serve your spouse. This week I want you to find a

way to serve your kids. Look for a way to serve your Co

workers. See yourself as an agent from

God to better their life to serve, and point them to Jesus.

This week, find a way to celebrate something in somebody

else. Instead of constantly trying to

put the spotlight on yourself, turn the spotlight on somebody

else. Man, when you did that, that was

really good. When I saw that, I really

appreciated it. When you are a grateful person,

it forces us to keep our pride in check and live in humility

because we are celebrating the greatness in others instead of

trying to get others to celebrate the greatness in US.

Jesus is our supreme example when it comes to this.

Look what it says in Philippians chapter 2.

Philippians 2 · chapter mention

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

That's pride. Rather in humility.

Value others above yourselves. It's not devalue yourself, but

see the value in others, not looking to your own interests.

That's prideful, but each of you to the interests of others.

How do I make the lives of people around me better keep

going? And your relationships with one

another have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

If Jesus was married to my spouse, what would his mindset

be? If Jesus had my job, my

responsibilities, my relationships, how?

What would his mindset be? Instead of having a mindset that

is trying to worship yourself, have a mindset of Christ Jesus.

How did he live this out? Who being a very nature God, did

not consider equality with God something to be used to his own

advantage? Rather, he made himself nothing

by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human

likeness, and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled

himself by becoming obedient to death, even death.

On a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the

highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on

earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that

Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

You see what happens? Jesus humbles himself and God

lifts him up and draws people to him.

That's why Jesus said if I be lifted up, I will draw all men

unto myself. If anybody has a right to be

prideful, don't you think it's Jesus?

Like, what's the thing that you're better at than him?

So you're like, I'm a pretty good counselor.

You think you're better than him.

So I mean, like, I mean, I'm a pretty good friend.

Think you're better than him? I'm a pretty good doctor.

Think you're better than him? Like, the only thing I'm better

at than Jesus is swimming. Because every time he tries to

get in the water, he just walks on it.

Like, I got a way better backstroke than he does.

What's the thing that you think you're better at than Jesus?

He shows up at a party. They run out of drinks.

He's like, I got you. He's walking by a funeral.

He's like, let's cancel it. Like, that's just how he

operates. You think you're better than

him, and Jesus takes all of that greatness, and what does he do?

He lays it all down so that you and I could have an intimate,

personal relationship with him and have the hope of heaven.

Jesus didn't come with all of that greatness and go serve me.

He brought all of that greatness to bear, to purchase something

that you and I could have never purchased on our own, our

salvation. And in doing so, he made a way

for you and I. We have the hope of heaven in

our hearts. And maybe, maybe if you and I

were to live in humility, God could use us to do the same.

That when we humble ourselves and leverage our lives for the

good of God and the good of others, maybe, just maybe, he

will use us to draw people into His Kingdom as well.

I hope you'll think about that as we move to this time.

A decision To those of you in here today that have never

started an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus and

those of you who are watching online, I'm going to say some

hard things. So I'm going to poke you for

just a little bit, but I'm poking you in love.

The reason you haven't started a relationship with Jesus Christ

today might be because you have a pride problem.

You think you don't need him, but the Bible clearly says that

the way to the Father is through the Son.

That Jesus is the way, the truth, the life.

You are not in that equation. The way to the Father is not

through you. It's not through your abilities.

It's not through your good works.

It's through him. And pride might be keeping you

thinking, I don't need God to be my savior.

I'll save myself. Good luck.

If you could fix you, God wouldn't have sent his son to

die for you. Some of you, you like the idea

of God being your savior. You just don't like the idea of

him being your Lord, him being in control of your life.

You having to take everything that you've amassed for yourself

and turn it over to him. And not wanting to turn your

life over to Jesus is a pride problem.

Some of you, deep down inside you, just still feel like you

got to earn it, that you got to fix it, that you got to somehow

make it happen on your own. That's pride.

The Bible tells us that salvation is a gift from God so

that no one can boast. When you and I get to heaven,

we're not going to be going. I'm here because I'm so awesome.

I got in here because I'm so good.

No, Christians don't boast in themselves.

Christians boast in the cross. If there's anything good in you

today, it is not from you. It comes from him.

Who's the one who puts the Holy Spirit inside of you, Who

produces things in you that you can never produce on your own?

If there's anything good in me, if I'm making a good parenting

decision, it's because of the cross.

If I'm navigating a marriage thing and I'm doing it the right

way, it's because of the cross. If there's anything that I'm

doing that's having a positive effect, it's because of him.

Christians glory in the cross. We don't boast in ourselves, we

boast in him doing the thing that we could never do and

giving us an opportunity to participate in a mission that we

don't deserve to participate in. Humility goes it's because of

Jesus. If pride goes, I don't need him.

And a prideful person will never enter into the Kingdom of

heaven. And so for some of you today,

for some reason, you've been putting it off for a really,

really long time. What I can tell you is life

without Jesus at the center only hurts you and those you love.

And maybe today you will answer the prayers that people have

been praying on your behalf for a really long time, and you'll

humble yourself and allow Jesus Christ to become Lord and Savior

of your life. And if that's where you are, in

just a few moments, when the people around you stand and

saying, I'm going to encourage you to go right over there by

that baptistry. Or maybe talk to somebody who

brought you about how you can start that relationship with

Jesus Christ. To the rest of you in here, the

Christians, we have a lot of work to do if we're going to

kill pride and live in humility. Some of you, you need to finally

admit that you have a problem. The relationships and the

blessing of the relationships that God wants to give you are

being hindered by your inability to be honest about the hurt and

the heartache and the struggles that you have.

And so you're stuck in shallow relationships and God's saying

if you'd humble yourself, if you'd kill the pride, I could

give you a relational gift that you cannot imagine.

The people around you are way more loving and way more caring

than you ever thought, and I have purpose built them and

equipped them to help you navigate the things that you're

navigating. You have no idea what it'll be

like when you can finally be real and known and loved.

But Satan keeps telling you that you'll be rejected.

Satan keeps telling you you handle this.

Some of you, there are people that you need to apologize to.

You've hurt them. You know you have.

But pride keeps you from saying you're sorry.

And so it infects your marriage. It infects your parenting.

It infects the relationships that you have at work, because

Pride doesn't want to admit when it's wrong.

But in humility, when we go to people and offer a genuine

apology, God can use that to open a door to reconciliation

and to the advancement of his mission.

Some of us, we haven't told some of our friends about Jesus

because we're worried about rejection, because in Pride

we're worried about what other people think of us more than

what he thinks of us. And pride is keeping us from

living on mission like he has called us to, like he has

rescued us to. And so there are people today

that don't know Jesus because the pride in our lives from

yesterday, this year, 2024. Would you humble yourself, ask

God to do a work in you that only he can do?

Would you stand with me, Heavenly Father?

I ask. That you would just shut out all

of the distractions and allow every person in this room and

online to be able to focus on exactly what it is that you want

them to do. God creating us a desire to be

humble, bring about changes in our hearts and our lives that

could be transformative. God, Satan is trying to destroy

us, but you have come that we may have life and life to the

full. And God pride wants us to keep

trusting in our own paths and our own ways.

But humility wants to lean on your ways and your understanding

and acknowledge you in all of our ways.

And so God, as we come to this moment right now, give us the

strength to humble ourselves. Use us, Lord, to advance your

mission, to reach the loss, and to live the life that you've

called us to. In your name I pray.

Amen.