The Heart of a Mother

I'm Katie Hollensteiner, and these are three of my 4 kids.

Harvey is 7, Hyatt is 4, and Delicate is.

Two my name is Kristen and this is my daughter Kinley and she is

6 years old. I'm Mandolin and this is Leo and

he is 7 years old. I'm Jessica Ella Fritz and this

is Harlow Ella Fritz, and she just turned 7 years old.

I'm Jordan, and this is my son Hatton, and he is 3 years old.

How well do you think you know your mom?

I don't know when's. Your mom?

'S Birthday May 7th, 27th, July 8th, July 8th.

What's your mom's? Favorite animal Giraffes.

Baby giraffes? Wait, baby goats?

How old is your mom? 2620. 6. 6560 is 17/19 with

5027. Think she's in her 30s, with my

dad 34. What's something that your mom

says a lot? Why hurry up?

Yeah, she says that to Kai because she moves so slow.

No, don't do that. Oh, it's not going to night.

Go to bed. No.

That's all. What's something that makes your

mom? Mad.

And she has to say something two times or three times.

Harvey makes mom mad and my brother doesn't listen.

Have you ever seen Mommy get mad before?

Yeah. What is your favorite thing

about? Your mom.

Game of smuggle with her, playing toys with her.

That she's kind and funny, That she likes.

Taylor Swift makes meals. That I like slams.

What is Hudson's favorite animal?

No, not what's your favorite animal?

Chili. Yeah.

Oh, crossing family. It is so good to see you.

To those of you watching online, to those of you at all different

locations, and to those of you who are part of the Crossing

inside, I want to welcome you. And I want to issue a special

welcome to all of the mothers. Happy Mother's Day.

Can we give them a big round of applause?

God bless you. We are so incredibly thankful

you wouldn't be here without you.

Now, I also want to take a moment because I know there are

some of you who are gathering up some of our locations, some of

you who are watching online, and those of you who are probably

separated from family, who are watching on the Crossing inside.

And I know that a day like this comes with mixed emotions.

You want to celebrate your mom, but maybe you're having a hard

time becoming a mom. Or maybe you've had to navigate

miscarriages, or you've had to bury your kids, or you've had to

bury your mom recently. And I want you to know that as a

church, our hearts are with you today.

And in fact, I want to take just a quick second.

I want to spend a little bit of time in prayer over you.

So crossing family, can we just pray for just a second?

Heavenly Father, I know that you know the deepest pain that

anybody who can hear my voice right now is feeling.

And God, I know that you are in that pain with them, that

they're not alone. And God, I know that today is

going to be mixed. I have a lot of mixed emotions,

highs and lows. And there's prayers that haven't

been answered in the way that they wanted them to be answered.

And there's hurts that they never thought that they were

going to have to navigate. And God, I pray that you'd be

their comfort and you'd help us to encourage them and cheer them

on as they keep moving forward in life.

In your name, I pray Amen. Today we are going to talk about

the heart of a mother. And while we're talking about

the heart of a mother, I know there might be some of you men

who will think, hey, this is a great message for my mom.

It's a great message for my wife.

It's a great message for my sister.

But I want you to know, I believe that this message will

have value for you. I think if you were to lean in,

you'll be surprised at how much you might be challenged, how

much hope you might find, and how much your love for God might

actually deepen. And in order to do this, I've

asked my wife, Jennifer, to help with the message today.

Jennifer found Jesus at the crossing.

She has used her testimony and humility to inspire many, many

people. She's become the go to woman on

staff when people are navigating hardships.

She works full time. She's raised one daughter who

loves the Lord and she is in the process of raising 2 sasquatches

who require all kinds of grace and patience.

And on top of all of that, you know this is no small feat.

She puts up with me. So would you please welcome my

wife to the stage? Thanks.

Good morning. Let me say again, happy Mother's

Day to all the Mamas. It's so good to be here with you

this morning. Before we get started, I want to

introduce you to my beauty and my beasts in the middle.

There is Kennedy. She will be 25 tomorrow.

Yes, I was 10 when she was born. Pretty cool.

On the left is Zane, He'll be thirteen next month, and on the

right is my baby Maddox and he just turned 11/12/11.

We just stood his birth. He turned 12.

It was his 11th birthday. I was there when they took him

out of my body, so I. Know.

All right. OK.

All. Right.

Fair enough. It is my joy and my blessing to

be called their Mama. And today, as we talk about the

heart of a mother, I wonder, if we were to dissect the heart of

a mother, what would we find? I believe when the Bible says

that we are created in the image of God, that that most certainly

includes our hearts. And one of the gifts of

motherhood for me has been a deeper understanding of God's

love. And Paul writes about this love

to the church in Ephesus, and he says these words.

I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you

with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ

may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

may have power together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp

how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and

to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled

to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Obviously we can never fully understand the width and the

depth of God's love, but I do believe that being a mother, or

a parent in general, gives us some deeper insight.

This understanding has been a gift to me and some of my

darkest valleys in life. When the enemy tries to rob me

of what I know to be true about God, when he whispers lies in my

ear, like God doesn't really forgive that and God won't

forget what you've done. And God couldn't possibly love

you as much as he loves so and so.

And it's in those moments that I need only put them in the

context of my relationship with my own children.

For instance, I have an A deep, unconditional love for all three

of my children. I loved them before they ever

took a breath. I loved them before they could

ever express their own love to me, and there is nothing that

they could do that would make me stop loving them.

It is a constant, unshakable, unconditional love.

And in my dark moments, I remind myself that God's love is even

greater than that. He loved me before I took my

first breath and He loves me no matter what I do.

In addition to that love, I also have a desire to comfort and

protect my children When their hearts break, my heart breaks

and all I want to do is to take that pain away from them.

When we lived in Macomb, I worked at the the church there.

I worked in the front office and the office.

There is a a bit of a distance from the front door, but there's

a glass wall so you can see through the lobby to the front

door. And one afternoon I'm working

there and I see my daughter walk through the front door.

She was probably 16 at the time. I see her walk through the front

door and instantly I can tell there's something wrong with

her. I don't know how I could just

tell there was something wrong. So I got up from my desk and I

walked out of the office and I moved to meet her in the lobby.

And as I got closer to her, I had this deepening sense of pain

and I could see it on her face. And by the time she reached me,

there were tears rolling down her cheeks and I just put my

arms around her and I just held her there.

She had just experienced her first break up, and even though

I had warned her that this pain would come, I said you stay away

from boys because they'll break your heart, because boys are

dumb until they're about 40. How old are you?

41. Till they're about 45, they're

done. Well played.

Even though I had warned her and she didn't listen, I find her

here with a broken heart and still mine is full of compassion

for her. I just wanted to take her pain

away. Anytime you are navigating one

of these challenges, one of these pains, God is there to

comfort you. Psalm says this in Psalm 119.

May your unfailing love be my comfort.

You and I can find comfort in the unfailing love of God.

Jesus actually follows this up in his most famous sermon.

You'll find it on the Sermon the Mount Matthew, chapter 5.

Matthew 5 · chapter mention

Jesus says this Blessed are those who mourn, for they will

be comforted. And then Paul follows it up and

gives us even more insight when he says this in Second

Corinthians. Praise be to the God and Father

of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God

of all. You say the next word, the God

of all comfort. What does he do?

Who comforts us in all our troubles?

Why? So that we can comfort those

with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

He gives us comfort and then we're able to use the comfort

that we have received from God to be a comfort to others who

are navigating pain. I have a desire to fulfil my

kids needs as well as the desires of their hearts.

I also have a desire to withhold for their own good.

Providing for their basic needs and giving them the things that

they want brings me joy. But there are also times that I

have to withhold what what it is that they desire, because what

that is is not what is best for them.

And I'm reminded in those moments that God does the same

with me. God provides what I need, and

then some. I may not have everything that I

want, but He ensures that I have everything that I need.

And when he withholds, I can trust that he's doing so because

it's for my own good, just like any good parent would.

Take Clayton, for instance. Clayton probably wanted to find

a sweet, submissive wife at Bible college.

Yeah, you know, a wife who is needy and attentive.

Who's encouraging? Oh sweet.

But God withheld because God knew that what Clayton needed

was a short, crazy brunette. So he got me.

God knew that what Clayton needed was a wife who was

independent and self-sufficient enough to navigate the demands

of ministry. A wife that he could look at at

9:00 on a Tuesday night and say I'm going to fly to Kansas in

the morning and I don't know how long I'll be there, but there's

a marriage in trouble and I want to help save it.

Or a wife that he could leave the day that she arrives home

from her third C-section with a newborn and a two year old and a

teenager and go to Florida for a week to do ministry.

Wasn't one of my best moments. I know this.

So he can say whatever he wants about me from this stage because

he knows that my particular brand of crazy is exactly what

he needs. True story, true story, true

story. I think if you would look inside

of the heart of a mother, you'd also find that in the heart of a

mother is a trainer. Think about all the things you

learned from your mom. More than likely, she's the one

who taught you how to tie your shoes, trim your nails, put on

clothes that match, how to get the stains out of the clothes

that you messed up, how to sort your clothes, wash your clothes.

You learned how to cook and how to bake.

You learned how to read. Sitting on your mother's lap.

She was the one who did the flash cards with you as you went

through the different sounds of the alphabet.

Well, dads and who are awesome, typically do a great job of

teaching sports and how to do stuff outside of the home.

The mom is responsible for your finer skills, your softer

skills, and long after you are done playing sports, you will be

living a productive, civilized life, mainly in part to the

training that you received from your mom moms.

Your boys are learning from you what to look for in a wife moms.

Your girls are learning from you how to be a wife moms.

You are training a future spouse.

You are training a future husband.

You are training a future wife and what kind of gift do you

want to give your future in laws?

What kind of daughter do you want to present to them?

Ready. What kind of son-in-law or son

or husband do you want to present to them?

When the people of God were coming out of Egypt after God

had rescued them and they're moving through the desert, God

gave Moses the 10 commandments. You guys all know these, and

this is recorded in Deuteronomy chapter 5, just 4 verses later.

Deuteronomy 5 · chapter mention

In Deuteronomy chapter 6, do you know what words we find recorded

Deuteronomy 6 · chapter mention

in scripture? God speaking to them.

And this is what he says. Hear O Israel, the Lord our God,

the Lord is 1. Love the Lord your God with all

of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your strength.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your

hearts. Impress them on your children.

Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the

road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your

foreheads. Write them on the door frames of

your houses and on your gates. Now, what he's not saying is you

need to all go home and start painting your door frames and

you don't need to take little boxes and time around your hands

or around your head. We'd all look weird and it's not

necessary. What he's trying to do is he's

trying to help you realize the importance of training your kids

in the ways of God. One of the things that Jennifer

and I do is I've always made it a priority that I'm going to

take my kids to school so that I can pray with them out loud over

them. And you guys have heard, many of

you have heard the prayer that I pray for my kids.

It's the same prayer all the time.

Heavenly Father, I just asked that you'd help my boys grow up

to love you with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength.

Sound familiar? And that they'd embrace the

Great Commission to make disciples of all nations.

That they'd be leaders of others and followers of you, and that

you will help them to find a spouse who will love them and

love you as well. Studies show that the spiritual

direction of the home comes from the father, but the spiritual

intimacy in the home comes from the mother.

Gentlemen, you are the largest determining factor in whether or

not your kids will come to Christ.

You are the primary person in setting the spiritual direction

of your home. But moms, when it comes to

asking questions of faith, what it looks like to live it out,

you are the one who your kids will turn to.

They are going to get the intimacy of their intimate,

personal relationship with Jesus Christ from you.

At the beginning of this year, I felt a burden to make a deeper

spiritual investment in my boys. Every day I am sending them into

a broken, Dark World, and I wanted them to be prepared for

what they would face. I wanted to instill in them a

love for God's Word, and I wanted to instill in them a

discipline of spending intentional time with him every

day. So I converted one of our

closets into a Bible study room. You want to see it?

Me too. First of all, shame on Clayton

for not straightening the rug before he took this picture for

me. So I apologize ladies, it's

usually not that messy. So we've got we've got comfy

seating, our Bibles, and our books and baskets on the left

there you can see we've got a little chalkboard where you can

write encouraging things, hopefully, but they are boys.

So on the other wall, there's a sign that lists all the books of

the Bible. There it is.

And then we have our living on a prayer wall.

If you're from the 80s, you know, which is supposed to have

sticky notes all around it with our prayers, but, well, that's

how well we're doing right now. OK, so I made a commitment to my

boys that 30 day or 30 minutes every day before school, we

would spend time praying and reading God's word together.

And some weeks we go 5 for five, some weeks it's 3 for five, and

some weeks we miss the mark altogether.

And I'm telling you that because spiritual investments are so

important, we need to be intentional about it.

But we do not need to get discouraged if we don't always

hit the mark. I want you to remember that

every investment you make produces growth.

Every investment counts. If you put money in a bank

account each week, that account will grow.

It doesn't matter if it's $100. If it's $50, it's $5.

It grows because every investment that you make

produces growth. So make intentional investments

in your kids. Make investments when interest

rates are high. And by that I mean when they

come to you and say they've had a bad day, they're struggling

with something, they're hurting. Take that as an opportunity to

teach them to give their burdens to God and trust His plan for

their life. And when they come to you to

celebrate their successes or to share something good that has

happened in their life, take that time to teach them to

praise God and be thankful for His provision and His

faithfulness. Proverbs chapter 22 says this.

Proverbs 22 · chapter mention

Start children off the way they should go and when they are old

they will not turn from it. So, ladies and fellas, what do

you want your kids to become? How do you want your kids to

behave? How do you want your kids to

grow in the relationship with Jesus Christ?

Our intentions must be accompanied with actions.

All of us have good intentions when it comes to being a parent.

All of us But the people who win move beyond intention into

action. This is the scary part.

We are already training our kids.

The issue is, are we training them in the way they should go?

So we must prioritize the training of our children to love

the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul and strength.

If you get this one right, it's going to take care of all the

others. How do we know this?

Because it's a bankable promise from God.

Jesus says put my Kingdom first and all the other things will be

added to you. And let me just tell you what

some of the added to you things are For Jennifer and I.

We not only do we want our kids to love the Lord their God with

all their heart, mind, soul and strength, we also want them.

We are training them to be a devoted and loving spouse.

We are training them to be a loving and devoted parent.

We are trying to train them to be dependable and selfless

friends. We are training them to be

honorable, kind, hard working and generous.

None of those things come naturally.

None of those things are easy. All of them is ground, hard

fought ground you have to take. And sometimes you win and

sometimes you lose. I think the golden Nugget in

what Jennifer was saying previously is every investment

counts. I would rather have a parent who

has the intention of making $100 deposit every single day and

ends up making A5 a $5.00 deposit every other week.

Then a parent who says that they're going to make $1000

deposit and never makes a deposit at all.

When you fail, Satan will try to convince you lie to you that

well, you should have never started in the 1st place, or

that didn't count, or that didn't matter.

What you are doing is you are building a spiritual legacy, a

spiritual bank account that they can withdraw on in times in the

valley. So make deposits as often as

possible. Sometimes you can make a big

deposit, sometimes you can make a small deposit, but every

deposit you make is training them in righteousness.

Just this past week, I took my son Maddox on a well.

I went on a field trip with him to the Lincoln Museum and 4th

graders at a museum is about as fruitful as raking snow.

But we had a good time. We went to the gift shop there

and he says, mom, I want to get a Bible.

And I was thinking, you have a Bible, but OK, so we go and we

look and they didn't have Bibles.

So we have a President Lincoln devotional.

That's what we got. And later that evening, we're

driving home from baseball. And he says, Mom, there's a kid

in my school that really needs a Bible, and that's why I wanted

to buy one today because I want to give it to him.

And I thought, oh, he's making his own investments.

He's going to save his little friends at school.

So see, every investment you make produces growth, and they

will reproduce that investment into the people around them.

Now I want to share with you one of the greatest lessons that

motherhood has taught me about God.

When we lived in Macomb, every year we would go to the Heritage

Days parade in June, and that parade winds around the town

square. And so people pack both sides of

the square. We're all from small towns.

You know how we do when the parade comes?

Tons of people on both sides of the street.

And so I took Maddox, who was a baby, and Zane, who was about

two at that time. I went with my sister-in-law and

her baby and my mom. We all go up to the square, we

find a nice little spot on the corner and we sit down to watch

the parade. The parade goes by and we're

watching. And after a while, I look over

to see how Zane is doing and Zane's not there.

And immediately I scream, Where's Zane?

And all of a sudden my heart starts racing and these thoughts

start flooding my mind. I leave Maddox with my family

and I start walking in the direction of the parade because

I'm thinking maybe he saw someone he knew and he decided

to follow along with them. So I'm moving in that direction.

I'm yelling out his name, I'm searching faces in the sea of

people, and all of a sudden I get this terrible thought.

What if he went the other way? What if I'm actually getting

farther from him? And so I stop right there in the

middle of St. and I I don't care that I'm standing in the path of

a moving parade. I don't care that I look

absolutely insane. I have one objective in this

moment and all my options are flooding through my mind.

I'm looking in both directions and I spot at the end of the

street a news van. And I'm like, they they probably

have, you know, APA system or something.

And I'm thinking, I hate public speaking.

I hate speaking in front of people.

But I'm going to hijack that news van and I'm going to shut

this parade down. I will shut this entire city

down until my son is found all these thoughts racing.

I don't know which direction to go.

I don't know what to do. I'm still searching in the sea

of people and I see people that I know and they're like, hey,

how you doing? And I just want to scream, Would

you stop what you're doing and help me find my baby?

There is nothing more important than bringing him home.

I will be wandering these streets pushing a baby stroller

for as long as it takes because I refuse to go home to his

father and say I didn't do everything I could to find your

son. And it is with the same urgency

and the same intensity that God implores us to stop what we're

doing and find his lost children.

There is nothing more important than bringing them home.

And I think, I think that we can read the Great Commission to go

and make disciples of all nations as a Father's desperate

plea for help to rescue the ones that have wandered away.

And if you have ever lost your child, even for a moment, in a

store, in a park, wherever, you know exactly the feelings that

I'm describing, therefore you know the urgency of Our Calling.

Now. What ended up happening was that

Zane saw a piece of parade candy on the street.

And even at 2A, Hensel knows you don't let parade candy go to

waste, right? So he takes a few steps to get

that, and then he sees another piece of candy, and then

another, and another until he's around the corner where we can't

see them see him, he can't hear us, and he can't find his way

back. Now, praise God, there was a man

there that realized that my son was lost, and he took him by the

hand and he walked him back around to where my family was

sitting. But doesn't that sound kind of

like the same way that God's children find themselves lost?

One small temptation leads to another and then to another,

until they're so far away that they can't hear his voice

calling to them. They can't find their way back

to him. And I don't know about you, but

I don't want to go to heaven and stand before God and say I

didn't do everything I could to find your lost children.

I was busy. I was tired.

I I was scared. I didn't know what to say.

I didn't want people to dislike me.

I could have done more, but I didn't.

I don't want that to be my story.

I don't want that to be your story.

You see, when Jesus came to this earth, he had a mission and it's

spelled out in Luke chapter 19 where it says for the Son of Man

Luke 19 · chapter mention

came to seek and save the lost. And when we come out of the

water of that baptistry, we become part of that mission.

We have one job and it surpasses all other responsibilities that

we have. And our job is to take the lost

by the hand and lead them back to a father whose heart is

breaking to be reunited with them.

And I hope you will join me in that mission.

We're moving to a time of decision.

There's an old preacher story of a man who was caught in a flood

and he went to the roof of his house and he started crying out

to God, God save me. And a guy in a rowboat came by

and said, hey man, hop in the boat and I'll get you to safe.

He's like, don't worry man, I've been praying to God, he's going

to save me. So the guy in the rowboat went

by and guy kept praying for God to save him.

A little bit later a guy came by in a motorboat and he says, hey,

hop in the boat and I'll take you to safety.

The guy goes, man, I've been praying to God, he loves me.

He's going to take care of me. So the guy in the motorboat

keeps going on by a little bit later Coast Guard comes by with

a helicopter and they're they're screaming at him, hey man, we're

going to, they lower a rope and he's like, don't worry, I've

been praying God's going to save me.

Well, a little while later the waters rise and the guy drowns

and he finds himself in front of God in heaven.

He goes, hey, I was praying to you.

You said you love me, Why didn't you save me?

He goes, I tried. I sent a guy in a rowboat.

I sent a guy in a motorboat. I sent a guy in a helicopter.

What more do you want from me? And I think many of us, we don't

realize the acts that are happening all the way around us

that God is using to save us, to draw us into an intimate,

personal relationship with him. God is always working to draw

people unto himself, and that includes you.

In fact, you might be listening to this message right now

because God sent somebody at work or sent somebody in your

family to invite you to church. He sent Jennifer's message about

a father wanting to be reunited with his children, so that way

you could hear it. God is doing all of this so that

you can take hold of the salvation that he is offering

you. And if you're here today and

you've never started an intimate, personal relationship

with Jesus Christ, I want you to know that you can start it

today. If you have questions about what

that is or what that looks like, I want to encourage you to ask

him if you're going. I've got some stuff I need to

sort out. Allow us to go on the journey of

sorting that out with you. And in just a few moments, the

people around you, some of them are going to stand and sing and

some of them are going to get down on their knees and pray.

And what I want to encourage you to do is to take a walk.

It's a little bit of a scary walk for some of you, depending

on where you're sitting in the room.

It's kind of a far walk, but I'm going to encourage you to walk

right over there underneath that screen next to the Baptistery,

and I want you to ask the questions that you need answered

to talk about the things that are holding you back from

beginning the relationship with Jesus Christ.

That changes absolutely everything.

What makes it scary is that it's a little unknown.

You don't know what it's going to look like.

You don't know what it's going to, what your experience is

going to be. But I'm going to tell you on

behalf of all the people that have ever made that walk here at

this church, what they would tell you is it's the greatest

walk they ever made. And their biggest regret is they

didn't do it sooner. Not to the rest of you in the

room. You already have a relationship

with Jesus. What I want to encourage you to

do is to spend some real time on your knees praying, whether you

come up here to the steps and prayer, or whether you go over

to the baptistery and put your hand in the water or whether you

get down on your knees at the seat where you're at.

And what I want you to do is I want you to pray over your mom.

Pray over the mother of your children, whether you're married

to her or not. Pray over your kids that they

come into a relationship with Jesus Christ and that they would

be spared some of the hurt and heartache that you had to

navigate. Pray for the single moms in our

communities. Pray for those who've buried

their moms that you are close to and you know the hardship that

they're facing. And pray that God would use you

to accomplish his great mission. Would you stand with me,

Heavenly Father? I'm asking you to move in this

moment. Regardless of where people are

at on their spiritual journey, whether they are just here today

to make their mom happy or they've been following you for

as long as they can remember God.

I want each and every single person who can hear my voice to

take a step in your direction, to take a step out of their

comfort zone and move more into a relationship that is dependent

on you, guided by you, sustained by you.

Got to pray as we get down on our knees and we pray to you

about the things going on in our life and the people we care

about and the people we want to love and lead.

Well, God, that you'd meet us in that prayer, that you'd give us

clarity about what it is that we're supposed to do, and then

give us the courage to see it through.

And your name, I pray. Amen.