The Heart of a Father

Why did the duck trip on the sidewalk?

He tripped on a quack. How can you tell the difference

between a dog and a tree by the bark dog.

Dogs can't operate MRI. Can't.

What did the car say to its tires?

Thanks for keeping it wheel. He needs more water in his

mouth. Feel like that counts.

He just swallowed them. What kind of class?

Why? How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it. A guy threw a gallon of milk on

my head. How dare he?

That was a stupid one. What kind of car would Jesus

drive? A Chrysler?

You can't swallow it. Thank you, champion.

Thank you so much. Yeah, no sense of humor.

Oh, crossing family recently in Dallas, TX, they opened up the

husband's store. Women who were frustrated with

online dating and blind dates just wanted a place where they

could just cut to the chase, find a man and take him home.

And so these girls got together. They drove down to Dallas, TX to

the husband's store. They got there.

The sign reads that there are six floors at this store and

each floor has different kinds of men.

But the only catch is once you leave a floor to go to an

additional floor, you can never go back down.

The ladies are so excited. They go inside, they see the the

door, the sign on the door to 1st floor and it just says these

men have jobs. Women were elated because they

were tired of being with guys who lived in the house with

their mom, played a bunch of video games and couldn't pay

their own bills. They're like, these men have

jobs, this will be great. They went in there, they looked

around like, I want to know what's on floor #2.

So they leave floor one, walk up the 16 stairs to floor #2 and

the sign on the door reads, these men have jobs and a strong

romantic streak. The ladies are like, finally,

I'm going to have somebody who will rub my feet, tell me I'm

beautiful, put flower petals all over the house.

They're like, if this is floor two, I got to know what's on

floor #3. So they leave floor #2.

They walk up the 16 stairs, the door close behind them to floor

#2. They find themselves at the door

to floor #3 and it says these men have jobs.

Jobs, a strong romantic streak, and they love kids.

These ladies, they're going now this is going to be wonderful.

They're looking around, they're like, this is great, but deep

down inside they're going, I wonder what's on floor #4 so

they go up to floor #4 these men have jobs.

These men have a strong romantic streak, they love kids, and they

enjoy helping around the house. Jehovah Jireh, this is

wonderful. They're going, this is great.

They're looking around, they're loving what they're seeing, but

then they're going, I got to know what's on floor #5 So they

let the door close behind them. On floor #4 They walk up the 16

stairs to floor #5 the sign on the door reads.

These men have jobs, a strong romantic streak, love kids,

enjoy helping around the house, and are incredibly handsome.

This is where we get the pastoral staff of the crossing

is from floor #5 and they're looking around and the sign was

not lying. These men were gorgeous and to

think they have jobs, a strong romantic streak like helping

around the house, and they love kids and these women were going

if. This is what is on floor five.

Can you imagine what is on floor number six?

So they let the door close behind them on floor #5 They

walked up the 16 steps to floor number six and the sign on the

door reads. Your visitor 3,126,853 to this

floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists to prove that women are impossible to please.

Happy Father's Day. You're a survivor.

In an effort to make sure that they didn't get any

discrimination suits filed against them.

The owners eventually opened up the wife store with the same

rules. The guys went to floor #1.

The sign on the door reads. These women like to cook.

The sign on floor #2 says these women like to cook and have sex.

There has never been a visitor to floor number 34.

Five. Oh man.

If you didn't like that joke, you're not going to like it

here, because that's funny. That maybe is why there's a huge

difference on consumer spending when it comes to Mother's Day

and Father's Day. On Mother's Day, we spend $25

billion to say thanks, and on Father's Day, $15 billion.

There is a $10 billion gap. I.

Want to welcome those of you joining at all of our locations,

those of you watching online and inside, and those of you who are

joining us for the first time or the first time in a long time.

And my goal today is very simple, that every single one of

us would take steps to grow in an intimate personal

relationship with Jesus Christ. And one of the ways that you

could grow, what you're going to hear more about later at the end

of the service is if you are a man, one of the ways that you

could grow is by going to our uncommon conference.

It's going to be an opportunity for you to have fun, have some

food, and to grow in your faith. And it might be a great gift for

the man in your life to buy them a ticket to our men's conference

this Father's Day. Now when it comes to men in

God's desire. Men are not just critical to the

creation of children, but in the spiritual development of those

children. The reason I say that is because

culture today continues to reduce the importance and the

necessity of fathers. Of having a man in the home and

at the same time counseling centers cannot be open fast

enough to deal with the father wounds that so many people are

navigating pastoral staff across the country are having to

constantly help people create an.

Appropriate view of their heavenly Father because of the

baggage care are that caused by their earthly father.

And looking into the future, there is a problem on the

horizon because church attendance is between 60 and 70%

women, which means that the church is doing a pretty decent

job of reaching the women in their communities, but not so

good of a job of reaching the men in their communities.

Why does this matter? We've talked about this

statistic before that when a kid comes to faith in Christ, 3.5%

of the time the rest of the family follows.

When a kid finds a relationship with Jesus, 3 1/2% of the time

the rest of the family comes to faith.

When a woman comes to Christ, this is wonderful news.

It's 17%. That means that 17% of the time

when a woman comes to faith, the rest of the family will follow.

Why are men so critical to reaching our communities to

accomplish in the Great Commission is because when a man

comes to faith, 93% of the time the rest of the family will

follow. Now ladies, this does not mean

that you do not carry an important role in the home.

I'm just telling you how what the statistics show.

In fact, ladies, we've talked about this before as well, that

while your husband is the one who primarily picks out the

spiritual direction of the home, the mother is the one who

develops the spiritual quality of the home.

In fact, teenagers cite that the person that they're going to go

to the most, learn from the most about spiritual matters is the

mom. So men, you pick the spiritual

direction. Ladies, you're responsible for

the spiritual quality. Let me give a little devotional

thought to those of you who are single.

Who you pick to marry will determine the level of

spirituality in your home. So ladies, if you find a guy,

make sure you find a guy who loves Jesus because your family

will 93% of the time follow his spiritual direction.

Man, when you're getting ready to pick a someone to marry, your

kids are going to most likely learn their faith from their

mother. So make sure you pick somebody

who has a great faith. I've seen this happen all too

often. You have young people who love

the Lord and then they start finding somebody else to love as

well. And the person that they love

doesn't necessarily love Jesus there, you know, she loves the

Lord and all of a sudden she meets Ted.

Ted doesn't love the Lord, but he has a tan and a metabolism.

And so she's kind of like, this is wonderful.

But just because something is wonderful doesn't mean you

should take it home. Like some of you have ugly dogs

that you love. And some of you are even cat

owners. And it's OK to acknowledge that

God made it and that's, you know, great.

But just because God made it and it's great doesn't mean that you

should marry it or bring it into your home.

And what happens is you fall in love with somebody who hasn't

given their heart to God. And then you find yourself in a

spot that you didn't expect you'd be.

And you find yourself navigating the challenges and the hurts of

life. And you're going, where's God?

And what I would tell you is God is where he always has been.

He is in the business of blessing, obedience, and if you

step outside of God's of being obedient to God, you cannot

expect the blessings from God. Now, that is not to say that God

is not redemptive in an area of your life where you've made

mistakes or somebody else has made mistakes.

God is constantly in the redemptive business.

He loves to redeem sin, but what he loves more is blessing

obedience. And the problem is, and we are

part of the problem as a church is we love redemption stories,

don't we? People fall off the tracks.

People go all kinds of crazy. We're like, look at how awesome

God's redemptive work is. And we highlight and we make

little short videos about it. And we're all moved by it

because God loves to redeem sin and we love watching God redeem

sin. But what has happened is, is we

have over elevated the redemptive arc of God and we

have under elevated what happens when people are obedient to God

and experiencing the blessings that come from that obedience.

Parents, let me prove it to you. Which would you rather have

happen? Your kids go off the deep end,

make an absolute mess of their life, have to do all kinds of

trauma and all kinds of rehab, and God redeems them and puts

them back into a right relationship.

Or your kids have an incredibly boring testimony because they

got serious about God from a really young age, trusted God

and not just with their faith, but they also made Him the Lord

of their life and they were obedient to Him.

And God put His blessings on your kids out of obedience.

And their testimony was, I obeyed God in an early age and I

never regretted it. Every parent would rather have

this testimony than watching their kids go through the pain

and the horror of the redemptive ark.

God is good in both scenarios, and God does a wonderful job in

both lanes. But if we could choose, I would

tell you, avoid the heartache of the redemptive ark and just

learn to experience and enjoy the blessings that come from

obedience. Because one of the days you're

going to find yourself in a relationship with somebody,

you're going to find yourself in a marriage, you're going to find

yourself in parenting. Situations and you are going to

want to just live in the blessing that comes from

obedience. Now, some of you are going by

Clayton. My life is presently a wreck.

My family is blown up. Things are not going the way

they're supposed to be. So what am I supposed to do?

I want you to know if you find yourself in a spot today that is

not necessarily where you wanted to end up, you're in good

company. In fact, if you were to go

through scripture and try and find the family that you would

want to be of, be a part of in Scripture, you'd be hard pressed

to find one. It might be one of the hardest

things to have a godly marriage and to raise a godly family.

Why is this the case? Because you have a spiritual

enemy when it comes to your home.

Look what it says in John 1010. We talk about this all the time

the thief this is Satan comes only to steal, kill and destroy

I this is Jesus have come that they may have life and have it

to the full. This is God going I want to

bless your obedience. I want to redeem the sin but

let's make no mistake about it. You have an enemy.

You want a good marriage. Satan wants to destroy it.

You want to heal the brokenness in your family.

Satan wants it to to keep it from happening.

You want to break generational curses.

Satan wants to stop it in its tracks.

Satan takes no days off. You want to come clean to your

wife about something that you've been doing in your life.

Satan wants to you to keep you from doing it, and the moment

you try to make a move in the direction of God, Satan is there

trying to kill that move of God in your life.

You've come to church hundreds of times and you felt the the

pull that you're supposed to make a response or supposed to

make a decision. And from the moment you make the

decision that you want to do it until you're actually getting

around doing it, you never actually got around to doing it

because Satan stole it from the path he came in and he

intercepted the move that you were trying to make.

You have a spiritual enemy and he takes no days off.

For instance, fellas, you guys, you know, here in our part of

the world, we love guns rights. And we have concealed carry

permits. And we've got a gun in the truck

that we forgot that we had in there.

And we've got a gun behind the safe.

And if someone breaks into our house, they got another thing

coming. And when a guy comes and tries

to date my daughter, I'll be cleaning my shotguns on the

front porch. And we're super jazzed about it.

But if you were to ask, like most people, they don't know

somebody who's ever had anybody break into their house.

What that means is, is that we are overqualified for an an

event that will not occur for an enemy that will probably not

show up. And we are under qualified for

an enemy that is already in our home because you and I have a

spiritual enemy who tries to steal, kill and destroy your

marriage, your parenting, and the obedience that God wants you

to experience. More important than whether or

not is your house locked up is is your heart locked up.

Take another step forward is you and I, we are under qualified to

deal with the spiritual realities of this war.

You and I have an enemy. And it's not just spiritual.

There's other enemies too. And Satan knows just how

powerful a God honoring family can be.

Let me show you how fast he attacks it.

And Genesis one, God creates man.

In Genesis 2, he creates woman. And now we have a family in

Genesis three. They sin.

In Genesis 4, the oldest son kills the youngest son.

Satan attacks that fast because he knows what how powerful a God

honoring family can be. So he wages war against us.

And it's not just a spiritual war that he wages against us.

There is our fleshly war as well.

Look at what it says in Romans Chapter 7.

Romans 7 · chapter mention

I do not understand what I want to do.

For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate to do.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it

out. For I do not do the good I want

to do, but the evil I did not want to do.

This I keep on doing so. I find this law at work.

Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.

Some of you, you're at church last weekend and you go, OK,

this weekend or this week, I'm not going to cuss.

And sure enough, you scare cussed twice.

And one of those scare cusses wasn't a scare cuss, it was a

real cuss. And you haven't asked for

forgiveness for it. You have the good that you're

going. You know what?

I'm not going to do this bad thing anymore.

I want to do good and yet you did the opposite.

So you this week, you're like this week, I'm not going to lose

my anger. I'm not going to lose my cool.

I'm not going to get all crazy in the house.

And sure enough, that is exactly what you did.

Sometimes we're going, this is the bad stuff.

I don't want to do it and we end up doing all the bad stuff.

And sometimes we're going, you know what, I'm going to do a

good thing this week. I'm going to spend time on my

word. I'm going to spend time doing

the things of God and we never get around to doing the good.

That we actually wanted to do. You and I have an enemy.

Now, on top of that, we don't have a strategy for the

spiritual enemy or for the enemy of our flesh.

And so we are kind of accidentally going through life.

When it comes to our marriage, we're accidentally marriaging.

When it comes to our parenting, we're accidentally parenting.

And I've never heard anybody talk about an accident as a good

thing. Like, I got in an accident

today. Oh, praise God.

That sounds wonderful. Yeah, it was a real blessing.

We're hoping to get for in another accident later today.

Nobody ever says that when we hear an accident like, oh,

that's so bad. I'm so sorry.

But most of us are accidentally involved in our marriage,

accidentally parenting, and then our kids turn out in a way that

we didn't want them to turn out because we didn't accidentally

parent them. And then you find people who

have pretty decent kids and you're like, how did you get the

pretty decent kids? Because we want to kind of run

your play and they're like, we really don't know because they

were accidentally parenting too. And then we just find ourselves

going from one accident to another accident and constantly

being in a position where God is having to redeem stuff and never

actually operating in a place where God blesses.

So how do you and I navigate this?

We need a better strategy, we need a better blueprint and I

think there is a great blueprint found in Ephesians chapter five.

I think if you were to take the New Testament from from Matthew.

All the way to Revelation and you were to like condense it

that Ephesians chapter 5 has like all the tools, tips and

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

tricks for you and I to be the people that God created us to

be. Let's take a look at it.

Ephesians 5. Follow God's example.

Therefore, as dearly loved children, most of us are

struggling in our marriage and in our parenting because we are

not following God's example. You can't follow God's example

if you don't know what God's example is.

And you wouldn't know what God's example is unless you're

spending time in His Word, being obedient to His Spirit, and

spending time with God's people. And so if you want to follow

God's example, you need to put yourself in a position to see

what God's example is and then have the courage and the

strength to walk it out. Let's keep going and walk in the

way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for

us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Fellas, I want to give you a little.

Pro tip here, you may have noticed that women really love

Jesus. They're huge fans of him.

And I would submit to you that the reason they're huge fans of

Jesus is because he sacrificed for them and he serves them.

And you might be going, you know, my wife, she's always

spending time wanting to learn more about Jesus and she listens

to whatever Jesus tells her to do.

And I really, I kind of want that I'd kind of like her to,

you know, listen to me every once in a while.

And what I would tell you is you trying to get her to sacrifice

for you and you trying to get her to serve you might not be

the best strategy that what might work better is you loving

your wife the way Christ loves us by serving and sacrificing.

Tough question. When was the last time you

served your spouse? When was the last time you

sacrificed for your spouse? When was the last time you did

something you hated because you loved her more?

Let's keep going, verse 3. But among you, there must not be

even on a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of

impurity or of greed, because these are improper for God's

holy people. This is not just for fellas

based off stats. This is an issue for women too.

Purity must be our priority. What you watch, what you log on

to, who you follow on social media, there must not even be a

hint of sexual impurity. Just so you guys know the.

More you engage in fake sex, the more it will impact real sex.

Studies show that people who abstain from any kind of sexual

impurity and say, you know what, that's just not going to be us.

Have a better, more healthy, more frequent sex life.

So if you want to destroy the sex that you actually want to

have with a real person, keep watching other people do what

they do and they get paid to do those things.

There is a better way. This is one of those areas where

God's going, trust me, my way's the best way.

Follow me and you'll experience greater blessing.

There should not even be a hint of impurity in us.

We should be above all of that. Second thing is greed must be

defeated. As Americans, we are some of the

wealthiest people in all of human history.

We have houses for our clothes, walk in closets.

We have houses for our cars, but we call them garages.

We have houses for our house and then we have second houses.

We have plenty and we will be like, I got to work so hard so

that way I can get my kids all the stuff they need.

Let me say this little side note.

First off, Christian should be the very best workers.

We should be so good at our jobs that secular institutions only

want to hire us that they're like, listen, we're, we're, we

got all these jobs open and we would, we just want a profile

that we just want the Christians because these people don't just

work for money. They don't just work for their

boss. It's as if they're working unto

the Lord. If you're going to get fired as

a Christian from your job, it should be because they violated

a spiritual principle, but it should not be because of bad

customer service and poor work ethic.

We should be the best. However, some of us are

overworked and over committed, not because we are, you know,

just serious about our faith, but because we just want to keep

buying our stuffs our our kids stuff.

And we did a survey here at our church and our kids told us that

your our spiritual provision is more important than our material

provision. Our kids actually said they

would rather have time with their dad than a new iPad.

They want you. Verse four.

Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talker

course, joking, which are all out of place, but rather

Thanksgiving. This is important for men to

hear. Men, your words have power and

what you say gives permission in your home and you can use your

words to build your wife up or to tear down to build your

family up or to tear them down. You can use your words to push

people away from Jesus to tear down your reputation or you can

use your words to point people to Jesus.

Make sure you use your words to accomplish the things that Jesus

would want you to accomplish. Let's keep going for of this you

can be sure no immoral, impure or greedy person.

Such a person is an idolatry has any inheritance in the Kingdom

of Christ and of God. If you guys are running this

plot. Say when you're doing these

things, this is not OK for you, versus let's keep going.

Let no one deceive you with empty words.

For because of such things, God's wrath comes on those who

are disobedient. God loves to bless obedience,

but He will punish disobedience. Therefore do not be partners

with them. For you were once darkness, but

now you are light, and the Lord live as children of the light.

For the fruit of the light consists of all goodness,

righteousness, and truth. And find out what pleases the

Lord. You and I are supposed to be a

light on a hill, us or city on a hill, a light on a stand, so

that other people can see us and take notice of us from a

distance. They should notice the

difference. You and I are supposed to be

different than the people around us.

Because of our allegiance to Christ, let's keep going.

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but

rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention

what the disobedient do in secret.

Keep going. But everything exposed by the

light becomes visible, and everything that is illuminated

becomes a light that is. This is why it is said, Wake up,

sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ.

Will shine on you. Do the things that God calls you

to do and He will shine on you. Let's keep going.

Be very careful then, how you live not as unwise, but as wise.

How do we do this? Making the most of every

opportunity. Why?

Because the days are evil. This could have been written

today. The days are evil.

You and I need to live as wise people, not as unwise people.

We need to make the most of every opportunity.

Let's keep going. Therefore, do not be foolish,

but understand what the Lord's will is.

If you were to ask what are the one of the top five questions

that pastors gets asked, it is what is God's will for my life?

So let me give you like the Cliff Notes version, we'll do a

bigger one at a later time. But if you want to know God's

will for your life, you learn God's will for your life by

spending time in his word, the Bible, spending time in prayer

with the Holy Spirit and spending time with God's people

and then finding where God is working and join him there.

If you want to know what God's will is for your life, that is

how you do it. And one of the ways you can

determine your spiritual maturity, charity in Christ, is

through your spiritual intimacy with Christ.

And when you are intimate with Christ, you know what it is that

He wants you to do. So if you're going, I'm having a

really hard time figuring out God's will for my life, that

might mean that you are deficient in spending time in

God's Word with His Spirit, with His people, and looking for

where He is working and joining him in that work.

Let's keep going. Do not get drunk on wine which

leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the

Spirit. So quick little devoke here, you

can drink, you just can't get drunk.

You should never be in a position where you can't drive

and clearly tell somebody the good news of Jesus Christ.

And if you can't tell somebody the good news of Jesus Christ, I

would tell you to spend less time drinking and more time

studying because a lot of times we get the courage to tell

people about Jesus when we're drunk and but we can't really

tell people what Jesus is like. So you should go to my church is

the best. And the crossing has grown leaps

and bounds on that strategy. But I want us to have a better

strategy. OK, So you should always be in a

position where you can do the work of the Lord.

So alcohol is a lot like a lot of other things in Scripture.

It is good in bounds, but if you operate outside of that bounds,

it can do all kinds of damage. Alcohol is something that you

can use, but if you use it in the wrong way, it can take you

down a really bad Rd. Sex is a good thing from God,

but if you do it in ways that you're not supposed to do it, it

can cause all kinds of damage. And what happens when you let

alcohol get out of its bounds? Well, it leads to all kinds of

debauchery and just a little another devo.

I've never met somebody who's like, you know what, Clayton?

And we just wanted to come in and give you a praise report.

Like, our marriage was really, really struggling.

And then we started drinking a lot.

And like, our marriage has never been better.

Like she's more beautiful than me today than ever.

OK, I've never had that testimony.

I've never heard people come up to me and go.

We are having a hard time managing our kids and we just

started drinking. Just lots and lots of that's

just never worked. In fact, a lot of people who

give themselves over to a bunch of drinking end up in places

that they never thought that they would be.

He's saying listen man, don't be drunk.

It leads places you don't want to go.

OK, next one, speaking the weather with psalms, hymns and

songs from the Spirit. Singing and making music from

your hearts to the Lord. Always giving thanks to God the

Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

That when you and I do these things, it points people to

Jesus. So how do you and I make a

difference? How do we use Ephesians 5 to

make a difference that we want to desperately make?

The first thing I'll tell you is we use our hands to help and not

to point fingers. I do this sometimes and it's

wrong. We like to make fun of the

generations that are coming after us, and it's easy to make.

Fun of them, but I would just remind us that if they're so

jacked up, I would aren't we the ones that raised them?

So like, if they stink, I guess we just have to admit that we

stink as parents. I hear all the time people

saying, you know, this younger generation and sports and all

that stuff. It's impossible to get kids to

come to church and the schedule is absolutely crazy.

You know how you could solve all of that?

Become the coach. When you become the coach and

you use your hands to help instead of point fingers, they

practice when you want to practice.

They go to the tournaments that you want to go to.

And by making that simple move, instead of sports pulling your

kids away from church, you can use sports to pull kids to

church, which is the strategy that we ran and you got you got

maybe going. But Clayton, I'm not, I don't

know sports all that well. Can you beat a 10 year old?

Like I could dominate any 10 year old league right now.

I guess that makes me the coach, doesn't it?

Like unless it's cross country, but Hensels don't run.

OK, So I ain't we ain't getting involved in that ministry.

All right, if my kids want to start like cross country, I'd

have to do a paternity test. I'd be like, that is not our DNA

promise. Not even a hint of it.

There should be a line out the door at all of our churches for

men to invest in our kids ministry.

When I was writing the sermon, I'm praying that this weekend,

50 men would go. You know what?

I'm ready to serve and make a difference in kids ministry.

I'm ready to be a spiritual coach for kids.

There's so many single moms attending our church and for

them, for those kids to have one hour where a man invests in

them, encourages them, speaks into them, and shows them how to

be a man of God could be absolutely life changing.

Some of you need to think about retiring early, coming on staff

for free so that you can be available to help men become the

husbands that they need to be because they never saw how a

husband was supposed to operate. Show them how to be a father

because they never had a father. We are people who don't point

fingers. We use our hands to help.

Second thing I would tell you, don't let pride get in the way

of your progress. Too many times we let pride get

in the way of us becoming who God created and designed us to

be. Recently, I took up the game of

golf because I wanted a chance to meet people who didn't go to

church and I wanted a chance to have spiritual conversations.

And you kind of get some isolated time there.

And it's been actually really wonderful.

In fact, during first service today, one of the guys that I

have been hanging out with got baptized and one of the big

surprises to me was how horrible I am at golf.

I thought I was going to be way better than I am, but oh man,

I'm I'm just horrible. I'm unsafe and so there are so

many people who have come along on the journey with me to

resource me to help me get better.

My putter and my 60° wedge are from Lucas.

My irons and most of my drivers are from Pat and Connie.

My other driver is from from Mike.

My ball marker is from Dan. My golf balls are from Craig.

My towel is from Andrew. My shoes are from Ben.

Like everybody just keeps resourcing because they don't

want me to kill somebody. Like before they accept Jesus, I

don't want to be doing a funeral.

Like I, I, I did it. I hit him right in the head with

a golf ball. And so where people are just

coming alongside of me. And when I'm out there golfing,

everybody is helping me because I'm like, how do you?

I mean, I spend so much time in sand traps.

I'm like Clayton Hasselhoff, like, I'm just going to start

wearing Shorty red shorts when I go golfing.

It's just brutal. But every single one of them

will tell me, hey, when you're getting ready to do this, you

should try it this way or roll your wrist or keep your weight

on your foot foot or your back foot.

They're constantly trying to help me, and they're trying to

help me get better because I keep humbling myself and saying

I need help in this area. And if only some men in our

church would humble themselves and say, I don't know how to

read the Bible. I don't know how to pray.

I don't know how to navigate things spiritually in my home.

I I don't know how to connect with my wife anymore.

I, I feel like I'm getting distance with my kids and I need

a guide. If only a few men would humble

themselves, Do you know what the people on our staff would do the

moment they heard something like that?

They would clear their schedule and they would say, we start

tomorrow. If you would humble yourselves,

people would help you grow in your relationship with Jesus

Christ. But our pride is getting away of

the progress that God wants to take in your life.

And just so you know, the people that I'm golfing with are not

Tiger Woods. They're just better than me.

And some of you need to realize that if you've been following

Jesus for a while, you have something to offer the people

around you. That when you spend time in the

Word of God, with the Spirit of God and with the people of God,

you have something to help other people grow in their

relationship. With God.

Here's the other thing I tell you.

You need to train for your testimony.

What story do you want to be able to tell long term?

What do you want the story of your kids or your grandkids to

be? Start training them.

It's impossible to talk about training and parenting without

talking about Proverbs 22 verse 6.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child and the way he should go.

And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

In our home, when Jennifer leaves, I make the boys help

clean the house. And then I'll I'll mess certain

stuff up in the living room. And then I'll have them come in

and I'll quiz them about what's wrong and what needs fixed.

Because I want them to be attuned to how their mom wants

the house so that way they can make the adjustments.

Because one of these days they're going to have a wife.

And I want them to know how to make what matters to their wife

matter to them. I want my There's a 0% chance

that my boys are going to have to navigate or pay their

mortgage with their fastball. There's a 0% chance that my kids

are going to pay their health insurance premiums with their

golf swing. There's 100% chance that they're

going to have to navigate with a wife who's ticked off.

There is 100% chance that they're going to have to

navigate a prayer that goes unanswered or goes gets answered

in a way that they didn't thought.

I need to train my kids for the valleys of life.

Speaking of training, ladies, can I give you a little insight?

There are two ways to train your husband.

The carrot and the stick and the carrot works best when you

affirm something in your husband, it releases all of

these chemicals inside of them and it sears in their minds.

Do that again. And when you criticize them, it

makes them want to run. Here's ladies how you need to

view your husband. You need to think of your

husband as a big dumb Labrador retriever.

He just. Wants to wag his tail?

That's all your husband wants so.

When he comes home and before he does all of his other stuff from

work, he spends like 30 seconds with the kids.

Here's what I want you to do. I love it when you spend some

time with our kids, when you come home from work and you know

what he's going to do. Oh, you love it.

Oh, OK, I love that you love it. And the next day when he comes

home, he's going to, like, slam the car door.

So you hear it and then he'll be playing with the kids and

looking through the window, you see you seeing what I'm doing.

I'm playing with our kids. And when he comes inside you, I

love it when you play with our kids outside in the road.

And he's like, I love it when I play outside in the road too.

He'll just be wagging his. Little Jesus tail.

Third day, he'll be running a parade with all the kids in the

neighborhood. Just out here, you're getting

ready to pray before the meal and you.

Put your hand on his arm and you go, would you bless the meal?

And he goes, God is great. Not as good.

We thank you for this take out food.

You know what you do, ladies? I love it when you pray prayers.

Oh yes, I love it when you pray prayers to our Heavenly Father.

I love it when you are spiritual covering over us and you know

what he's going to be doing. She likes it when we pray.

She likes it when we pray. Next day you're going to get

ready to eat and he's going to go.

Our Father who are in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy

Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth.

And she's like, I love it when you pray the Lord's praise.

Like I didn't know it was the Lord's Prayer, but I love it.

You love it when I pray next day six, AMI, beseech thee, Heavenly

Father, I'm coming to you in the heavenly realms.

And I'm putting a hedge of protection around my sons.

And I'm putting a hedge of protection around my daughters.

And God, my wife went to bed angry last night.

A little bit cranky, but I know that you're a healer.

You'll be like waking up. What happened?

You affirmed him. And when you affirm your man, he

will kill for it. He will leave the house.

He will go out to war. And he will die for it.

It is hard wired into him and when you criticize or critique

he will run from it. Name the thing your husband

stinks at. Chances are he quit it.

He went fishing one time, didn't catch a fish, never went back.

Another guy went fishing, caught a fish the first time, and he's

never stopped. They run towards affirmation.

They flee criticism. So in your marriage, you want

intimacy, you want closeness, you want conversation, you want

spiritual direction. A firm, just a little bit when

you see it and he will get his big Jesus tail.

A wagon for you and you will find yourself in a relationship

with the person you dreamt you would marry.

Finally this. Is in life and in parenting

fathers, more is caught than taught.

You didn't give your kids a book when it came to changing attire.

You went outside and you did it with them.

And your kids are going to catch from you how to love God, how to

follow Him, how to treat and love and adore and serve a wife,

how to handle the highs and lows of parenting.

They are going to catch it from you.

So let them catch Jesus. They've caught your political

beliefs. They've caught your generational

sins. They've caught your anger.

They've caught your frustration, they've caught your looks,

they've caught your metabolism. Let them catch Jesus.

That's what they need. Galatians chapter 5 says this,

Galatians 5 · chapter mention

but the fruit of the Spirit is Lovejoy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,

self-control. Against such things there is no

law. The fruit of the Spirit.

Let your kids catch love, let them catch joy, let them catch

peace. Let them catch patience and

kindness. Let them catch goodness and

faithfulness. Let your kids catch gentleness

and self-control. Let them catch Jesus.

And those are called the fruit of the Spirit is because that's

what happens when the Spirit is in your life.

That means that your kids can't catch Jesus from you until you

have Jesus in you. It means that they can never

experience the love, the joy, the peace, the patience that

they're supposed to experience until they get it from you

because they're going to catch it from you.

And you might be going. But Clayton, I don't have that.

Well, the good news is you can. The Bible says that when you

come into an intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ,

when you believe that He exists, that He died on the cross for

your sins, when you come into that right relationship through

the waters of baptism, the Bible promises that you will receive

the gift of the Holy Spirit. So he imparts the Spirit into

you, and then this is what the Spirit produces in you.

And no matter where you are on your journey today, you can

begin that journey towards an intimate personal relationship

today. And when you do that, you put

yourself in a position where you can pass on that goodness, that

gentleness, that self-control because you have finally

acquired it in Him. Men, your kids are going to

catch something from you. Make sure that they catch Jesus.

We're moving to a time of decision.

Fathers. You will never be who God

created you to be. You will never be who your

family needs you to be until you have an intimate, personal

relationship with Jesus Christ. And Satan knows how critical the

direction that you take is. That's why you can come to

church for years, hear sermons for years, have a desire to

pursue Jesus for years, but never actually get around to

doing it. Because every time you get ready

to take a step, Satan has intercepted it.

Satan has stopped it. You might be the most

spiritually contested battleground in our region.

It's because Satan knows that if he can keep the men, he can keep

the family. What if today you pursue pursue

Jesus not just on behalf of yourself, but on behalf of your

family, your future family? Because wherever you go, your

family will follow. That means that the spiritual

decisions you make will have generational implications.

That means that you are right. Now, in a pivotal moment in time

where you will be making decisions that will impact those

who will come after you, what decision are you going to make?

You can choose to follow Jesus, chase after Him, grow in your

relationship with Him, start a relationship with Him, or you

can choose to walk away and let Satan win.

And I know that there's a battle going on right now because there

are some of you who are going. I think He's talking to me and

that's not me. That is the Holy Spirit saying

it's time, it's long overdue. It's time to answer the prayers

that your mom's and your dad's and your wives have been

praying. Today's the day where Jesus

wins. And if that's you, it's just a

few moments. The people around you are going

to stand and worship, and some of them are going to come to the

steps and pray. And I'm going to encourage you

to walk right over there underneath that screen next to

that baptistry, and start asking the questions that you know need

to be asked, making the decisions that you know need to

be made, not just for you, but for those you love who will come

after you to the rest of you in the room.

Would you pray for the men in your life?

There might be a harder Rd. that they walk because of the

significance that they play in the spiritual direction of your

home. So instead of criticizing him,

would you pray for him? Would you pray that you would be

a great support system for him? Would you pray for your sons and

your daughters? Your son in

Do a work that only you can do in ways that only you can make

happen. God, you know that there are

people in the sound of my voice who desperately need to

surrender their life to you. And God, I know that right now

there is indeed a battle going on in their mind.

But God, I know that you can win any battle, but there's no one

greater than you, stronger than you, more powerful than you.

So God, with your help, give us the ability to win the war right

now and move in the direction that you would have us to move.

And your name I pray. Amen.