Loving Your Children in Their Own Language

Well, good morning, Crossing Church.

How are you doing today? It is so good to see all your

smiling faces and realize that God's just doing incredible work

in your lives and through your lives and through your lives.

God's changing a lot of other lives.

And I'm just so thankful. And you just look good.

You know, I mean, just turn to your neighbor and go.

You look, you're looking good today.

Yeah, Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's nice.

Good. Yeah.

All right. I want to welcome all of our

locations, all 12 of them, like the apostles, you know, like the

tribes of Israel. 12 locations. That's just absolutely amazing.

So thankful for each and everyone of you that are joining

with us, Everyone that's inside, everyone that's online.

And we're in a series about raising children.

If you're wondering why Allison is sitting behind me, we

actually need someone to talk to us who knows what they're

talking about. And that's why she's up here

because I'll just fake it until I make it.

But she actually lives it out in her life.

And if if you've been around us or heard me speak before, we've

talked a lot about our marriage. We are not necessarily the

marriage we want other people to try to identify with or be like.

It's just our marriage, just like every other marriage that's

represented in all of our rooms. But we are definitely the

classic opposites attract marriage.

Totally. Totally right, and nowhere is

that more potentially good or bad than in how we raise our

children. As we learned early on, even in

our dating life, we learned this in our dating life, is that we

have a choice of looking at that opposites attracting 2 different

ways. One is you're so ignorant, you

know, and I'm using the best word right there.

Yeah, yeah. Rather than all the other words

I've used in the past or you used in the past.

I know I do it more. Or this you see things in a way

I could never see them see. People that are attracted to

each other because they're opposites attract.

What they're looking for is someone to complete all the

voids that are in their life that they can't seem to complete

on their own. And they admire the things that

they don't possess and they want somebody else that does possess

those things to fill their lives up in those in those places.

So we're really not what you would call soul mates.

We are definitely opposites attract, but if you can capture,

let me tell you, that's been an evolution for both of us.

If you can capture, you see things in a way that I can't.

That has been an incredible benefit to our marriage and it's

an incredible benefit for our family.

Would you welcome Allison as she speaks to you today?

Thank you. Let me describe how that works

in our life. And then we're not the, we're

not the example. We're just, it's just an option

for us. This is our differences.

I was the day-to-day nurturer. I was the one to make sure the

lunch box was full. What did you eat from your lunch

box? Are your socks matching?

Is your shirt right side out? Is your homework in your book

bag? You know, what's the drama at

the junior high? Who's doing what at the high

school? I was the day-to-day person.

Jerry was the crisis intervention.

You have a drama. We have a trauma in our life and

Jerry was the one that said you and I in the car were going out

to eat and that usually meant there was some kind of big life

discussion you were going to have.

I the second one, I don't care. I still don't care.

I didn't care then if the house was total trash.

If you're having fun, I taught the preschool for 30 some odd

years. I that just stuff doesn't even

phase me. If you're having fun, if you're

creating memories, if you're laughing, I'm all about it.

Jerry likes a little more structure and organization.

I was more the grace giver and he was more the truth teller.

I was calm in the crisis moment and then I would freak out

later. He was less than calm in the

moment, but very wise in reflection.

I. Did I did?

Why, Yeah. Every other time, every other

time, we've done this two other times, right?

And she would and she would say, you know, I would.

I was in the moment, I was like this, you know, monster, but but

later on, but she wouldn't go later on.

They've got later on as well, you know, just just kind of as a

matter of fact. And I'm like, hey, that's come

on, you need to emphasize that too.

But I'll tell you, we've learned so much just being parents

because where did we learn how? Where did we learn how to raise

our children? Where did we learn how to love

them in a way that would honor God and hopefully get them to

honor God, right? Well, we learned in the same

place where you learned because we all learn in exactly the same

place the way that we were raised.

That's the only example that we really have, right?

Our parents or parent or grandparent or grandparents or

foster parents. It was those people that that

spoke into our lives. And it, it's in that reality

that we learn how to be parents. Now, don't get me wrong on this.

I'm not saying that we learned all the good things from the way

that we were raised, because the truth of the matter is we learn

a lot of bad things from the way that we're raised, right?

Things that we don't want to repeat.

As a matter of fact, we're rejecting them.

You know, if you, if maybe your father, your mother was a

corporal discipline punishment type person, maybe you're more

of a love and logic parent, right?

Because you don't you, you don't want to repeat that you don't

like certain ways that you were raised.

And so you reject those things and other things are the ones

that you might emphasize. And so we kind of cobble our own

idea of what parenting is from whatever has been poured into

us. But wouldn't you like something

else? Wouldn't you like something else

that's maybe a little better, a little pure to inform how you're

going to be a parent? Where do I get a gold standard

for that? Oh, I'll just read the Bible,

and if I read the Bible and I look at the examples in the

Bible and I try to emulate those examples in the Bible, then I'm

going to be a much better parent, right?

Wrong. You couldn't be more wrong.

I challenge you to go into God's word.

I don't care. Old Testament, New Testament and

find me examples of great parenting.

What you're actually going to find is the exact opposite of

that because the Bible does not pull any punches in this area.

And what you do is you get to look behind the curtain, behind

the scenes into these family lives and you realize just how

absolutely messed up parents are in the Bible.

So Allison and I are like racking our brains and we're

working on this sermon. Like let's find a good Printal

example. And so, you know, Allison after

some time goes, well, there's Mary and Joseph and I'm like,

well, there's how much is really written about Joseph as a

parent. I mean, a couple of lines and

then he's gone. And then she said, well, maybe

Zechariah and Elizabeth John the Baptist parents.

Well, same kind of thing. So either there's an absence of

teaching or it's all on the negative side, negative

teaching. What do I learn from that?

The Bible is telling me just how hard it is to do this job.

Some of you right now, you're at your wit's end.

Some of you right now look in the in the rearview mirror of

your life and you see your wit's end way back there.

And whatever it is that you're doing now is beyond you're

really your ability to understand.

I'm a father of four, a grandfather of five, soon to be

7. And this is what I can tell you

with absolute authority. Parenting is a place where so

many of your dreams come true, as well as some of your worst

nightmares. Amen, Allison.

There's nothing that builds our prayer life faster than raising

children. Agree.

I have a cabinet in my house and has prayer journals in it and

they're nothing fancy. They're Walmart $0.99 or

actually $0.10 if you go at the right time of year.

And I just, you know, I just write and I have stacks of them

and one of these days I'm going to get them all out and I'm

going to light them on fire because for two reasons, 1, I

don't want my kids reading after I'm dead.

What I said about them in my prayer journal, number one.

Number two, I want to offer them up as a incense to the Lord

going. I cannot parent unless you do it

with me. Actually, if you do it for me,

because he is the best parent. Preach Now most of us we love

our children. It's instinctive that we love

our children but we always we might struggle in how we love

our children. And God in his infinite wisdom

did not give us clones for children, although we wished you

would have at times. We usually have children that

are unique in personality and same with our grandchildren.

So how do we do that? Well, over the years, Jerry and

I have done some marriage counseling and some marriage

enrichment seminars, and we use a very basic book by Gary

Chapman called The Five Love Languages, Super cheap on

Amazon, easy read, nothing hard. They also have one called The

Five Love Languages of Children. So we're going to go through

five of them or I'm going to go through five of them quickly,

but I'm going to add some scripture in here because this

is the source. Besides your prayer life, this

is your source. All right #1 words of

affirmation. That's comes from Luke 19, one

through 10. And it's the story of Zacchaeus.

Now, we, some of us grew up knowing that.

And some of us, this is a news story.

Zacchaeus was a Jewish man who had no friends.

He was a Jew by blood, but he was ostracized by his people

because he sold out and became a tax collector for the Romans.

So the Romans saw him as a pawn and the Jews saw him as a sell

out, no friends. And then one day here comes

Jesus and he's looks at right at Zacchaeus in a group of people.

He says, I'm coming to your house today.

Now in our in our culture, we're like going, yeah, whatever, OK,

no problem. In that culture, that was a big

deal and a big honor. So immediately Zacchaeus goes

from this till he stands up a little bit more and then Jesus

drops the awesome bomb and he says salvation has come to your

house today. And then Zacchaeus has a whole

new purpose in life, because he got the words of affirmation

from Jesus. Next, one quality time,

Deuteronomy 6 four through 6 says this.

Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is 1 Love the Lord

your God with all your heart and all your soul with all your

strength. These commandments I give you

today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.

Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the

road and when you lie down and when you get up.

Jerry has a great story on this one.

So last week we weren't here because I'm from Indianapolis,

particularly Speedway, Indiana, and I don't miss the Indy 500.

So I was at the Indy 500 and it's it's become an event for

our family. And so we we go, we do that, we

stay with friends, eat great food.

But one of the highlights of this trip is on Monday, because

Monday is actually Memorial Day. And we stay with these friends

in this, in this rural, it's, it's a very rural community.

And there's a, a cemetery there. And what this friend of mine has

done is he's made the Memorial Day service in that cemetery a

very big deal for his family and for the immediate people around.

And so the VFW comes and they shoot their guns and they play

taps and there's words that are said in honor of those people

who offered their lives and gave their lives for our freedom and

for our country. It's fun to watch the children

because you know, when they shoot their guns, the brass

comes out and they go pull the kids get to police the brass and

take that home as a souvenir. And so we're arriving as a

family to that cemetery and, and I'm with my three-year old now.

Listen to me. Quality time doesn't have to be

a lot of time. It has to be captured time like

where you make the most of a moment or a series of moments

and you have to be able to be listening for that or looking

for that opportunity. So this 3 year old is walking in

the cemetery. I'm holding his hand and he's

wondering what he's seeing. He could have been in a cemetery

the year before and wouldn't have wondered that.

But now he's wondering that he sees all these stones and all

these names on these stones. And he starts asking me what

that is. And I'm sensing a teaching

moment of a moment of quality time.

And over to my right is a big Blackstone with the name Leon

Tippin on it. And I knew Leon Tippin well and

the kind of life that he led and his faith in Jesus Christ.

And so I, I just told my 3 year old grandson, I go, well, this

is Leon Tippin where he was buried.

And he was trying to understand buried and understand the idea

of dying. And I said, well, you know, he

died, but he was a, a Christian and he went to heaven, but they

buried his body right there. And that's his name up there.

And I mean, just as serious as he could be.

He looked at me and he said, I mean, he just had a sad look on

his face. And he goes, did did monsters

get him? And I went, no, no, monsters

didn't get him. He just got old.

And then he got sick. And then he died and God took

him home. And then this is what we do with

the body. Well, then we, as we walked

further into that cemetery, he wanted to know the name of every

stone there. And the same question, did

monsters get her? Did monsters get them?

And I had to keep saying, no, there were no monsters, you

know. But it was it's an illustration

of just taking a moment and being able to teach a life

lesson that may become a core memory, even for a three-year

old, by loving them through quality time.

So the next one is Acts of Service and we get this one from

Matthew 2028 and it says the man of the Son of man did not come

to be served, but to serve. And the Son of man here is

Jesus. I love to be a helper.

I am A2 on the Enneagram. I, I like to help.

It's my, I just like to do it. And when my kids were small, I

would do it. And as they got older, I would

do it. And even if in that in high

school when I get a phone call at 7:40 in the morning and they

forgot this and this and this and that has to be signed by

this and I need money for that. I mean, I am there, man.

I am mom points of the day. I am acts of serving.

I am serving them. And then I had a problem and

Jerry was very good to point this out to me and he was

totally right. I have to learn.

So I will give this advice to you.

If you're a service person and you love to and your kids want

acts of service, great. Understand the line between

serving and enabling. And Jerry would be very good to

tell me, let them fall because you need to teach them the

skills of how to get back up. That was a hard one.

That's so true. The next one, gifts.

This is from Luke 11. Which of your Father's?

If your son asks for a fish, we'll give him a snake instead,

or if he asks for an egg, we'll give him a scorpion.

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good

gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven

give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?

If your child's love language is gifts, it doesn't always have to

be tangible things. In fact, it shouldn't because

you don't want to have them be a materialist and equate gifts.

Teach them the Holy Spirit. He is the best gift.

The next one, physical touch, the last one, physical touch.

And this one is Luke 843. This is the woman with the issue

of blood. Now how am I going to attach

that with physical touch? Several years ago we took a

group to Israel and we went to the church Catholic Church in

Magdala. And in the basement of this

church is a mural that is probably the size of the stage

at 48th St. and you'll see it. There's will be a picture on the

wall. This picture blew my mind and I

wanted to share it with you. If you'll see over here, you'll

see a woman and we don't know the age of the woman.

This picture to picture is a little older because you can see

by her hands, but she had an issue of blood.

She was unclean in that culture for 12 years.

That means she cannot be touched nor can she touch anybody.

God made touch as an instinct, and in this picture, she cannot

touch and she cannot be touched. She's ostracized.

So in this picture, it depicts her crawling on the ground.

Loke had the difference between her hand and the feet.

She's crawling hoping that nobody will see her, because if

they see her, they'll cast her out.

And she's trying to get to the hem of his garment.

And he even stops and says the power has come out of me.

And she has received healing from Jesus because of physical

touch. That's how important it is.

All five of those languages are so critical, and what we learn

when in Gary Chapman's book is that.

You try to understand that love language of the other person,

learn to speak in that love language gives us the

responsibility like in marriages, like there's a

primary and maybe a secondary because who can love in all 5

languages? You know, we, we, we just really

can't do that. And I really haven't answered my

own question yet. Where do I find another example

besides the parenting that I experienced growing up or that

Allison experienced growing up? And I'm going to answer that

question right now because the greatest example of parenting is

God himself. And there is no replacement for

it. Sometimes I think the reason

that God told the truth about all these human parents is to

show us how far away we are from the the idea of perfect

parenting. And there's a story in the Bible

that Jesus gives us that illustrates what we mean by

perfect parenting. It's the third in a trilogy.

So Jesus tells 3 parables. The first one is about a lost

sheep. So there's 100 sheep, one gets

lost. The shepherd goes out and finds

the one lost sheep, one out of 100.

The second story he tells is about a woman who had 10 coins,

and one of those coins is lost in the house, and she finds that

lost coin. So it's one out of 10.

The final story, the conclusion of these parables, is the

parable of the lost son, one out of two sons.

And it's the most poignant story, and I want to read it to

you. And while I'm reading it, I want

you to think what love languages are illustrated in this story?

Jesus continued. There was a man who had two

sons. The younger one said to his

father, Father, give me my share of the estate.

So we divided his property between them.

Not long after that the younger son got together all he had set

off for a distant country and their squandered his wealth on

wild living. After he'd spent everything,

there was a severe famine in that whole country and it began

to be in need. So he went and hired himself out

to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to

feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach

with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him

anything. When he came to his senses, he

said, How many of my father's hired servants have food to

spare? And here I am, starving to

death. I will sit out and go back to my

father and say to him, Father, I've sinned against heaven and

against you. I am no longer worthy to be

called your son. Make me like one of your hired

servants. So we got up and went to his

father, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him

and was filled with compassion for him, and ran to his son

through his arms around him and kissed him.

The son said to him, Father, I've sinned against heaven and

against you, I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.

But the father said to his servants, Quick, bring the best

robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and

sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill

it. Let's have a feast and

celebrate, for this son of mine was dead and is alive again.

He was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate.

Meanwhile the older son was in the field and when he came near

to the house, he heard music and dancing.

So he called one of the servants and ask him what was going on.

Your brother has come, he replied.

Your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him

back safe and sound. The older brother became angry

and refused to go in, so his father went out and pleaded with

him, but he answered his father. Look, all these years I've been

slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders, yet you

never gave me even a young goat so I can celebrate with my

friends. But when this son of yours, who

has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you

kill the fattened calf for him. My son, the father said you're

always with me and everything I have is yours.

But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of

yours was dead and is alive again.

He was lost and is found. Did you see the love languages

in it, all five of them beautifully displayed?

We see gifts. We see the gift of the early

release of the inheritance to the younger son, which the

father was not required to do. We see the giving of a robe and

you notice what it says, the best robe, the giving of a ring,

which is a signet ring, which means he's part of the family,

and sandals for his feet. Because when he came over that

hill, no one would have recognized him but a father.

He would have been so dirty and disheveled.

We see physical touch, this picture of the father running to

his son, and it says that when he was still a long way off,

which means what? Before he ever saw his son, he

was looking for his son. He had his eyes on the horizon,

believing that his son would return.

And then he runs. The only time God has ever

pictured as running. And look who he's running to.

A prodigal son. Then we see him embracing his

son, kissing his son, physical touch.

We see words of affirmation. We see it in the declaration of

the father to his son in front of these servants.

My son was dead. He's alive again.

He was lost, but he's found. He says that two times.

We see acts of service in the party preparation, We see acts

of service in him running interference with the older

brother who's jealous of the younger brother, solving that

problem so that the younger brother doesn't have to.

And then we see quality time in the party itself.

And in the captured moments, you see only one Father, only one

parent does parenting perfectly, and that's our Heavenly Father.

Now, sometimes we've had bad experiences with our parents,

and we want to transfer that onto our Heavenly Father.

But that's not right because our Heavenly Father is perfect in

all He does. And when you believe in Him and

have an intimate, personal relationship with Him, you can

claim Him as your Father, Allison.

But what's some of the best ways that we can walk out these five

love languages? And that's with faith.

In Luke 8, we see Gyrus. And Gyrus is the chief of the

synagogue. So he's he is a Jewish leader

and he is has high reputation and he makes pretty good money

and he's very important. And he's not probably as to be

chief of the synagogue, you have to be pretty educated.

But his daughter's sick. And in Luke 8, you see that it

does not matter any of that. When his daughter's sick, she's

sick enough that he is willing to do whatever it takes that he

comes to find this rebel teacher named Jesus.

He's risking his reputation, his income, his his power within the

community to find a healer for his daughter.

He has faith in Jesus. We also see with the boy and the

fish and the loaves. It was probably his only meal of

the day and he hands it to Jesus willingly.

He has faith that Jesus will do what he says he will do.

In Acts 12, we see Rhoda, who is a younger girl, not a child, but

not a woman, and she's answering the door when she hears a knock.

Well, she's been here in the other room with all these other

adults, and they're praying for Peter, that he would be

delivered, that he would be set free.

And all of a sudden there's a knock on the door, and Rhoda

goes to answer it, knowing it's Jesus.

It's not Jesus, it's Peter, and Peter is there.

She has faith that Jesus answered her prayer, and Peter

was there. I've been personally, I have

been doing children's ministry for a really long time, whether

it be lay ministry or as a staff person or in leadership.

And I love being in this room. I love being at all the campuses

in your auditorium. I love playing on the stage.

I've loved watching him preach for 42 years, but can I tell you

that the Holy Spirit moves mightily and happily in the

lives of what's happening in the back of the building?

In children's ministry, He is delighted.

With your children, you may be exhausted.

He is delighted. He is delighted in our

preschools, he is delighted in our camp, he is delighted in our

children's ministry. And if you serve in those areas,

he is delighted with you. Be mindful, parents of the lower

story, that it's exhausting. I know it's exhausting, but he

loves his children and he smiles on them.

He you are his child, and your children are his child.

So when I'm getting ready to preach a sermon and I know what

the topic is going to be, I just put my radar up.

You know, I'm just like, God, what do you have?

What are you going to show me? And I start looking for those

things. So two weeks ago I was in this

room at 48th St. listening to Clayton preach, and I was really

enjoying the sermon. And I would imagine there's been

times when you've been enjoying a sermon and then there is a

young person near you somewhere and they start making some noise

or talking and then all of a sudden, you know, you kind of

get disconnected. And, and so there was a young

man that, or a boy that was across the aisle from us and I

can hear him talking. I couldn't hear what he was

saying, but he was talking a little bit loud.

And so like, my default is to be a little frustrated with that.

And I'm looking over there, right?

And I see a family of four and the, the dad and the mom sitting

together, dad's on the end and then a daughter and then the son

on the other end, right? And the son's talking over the

other two, the the sister and the mom to talk to the dad.

I can't hear what they're saying, but I'm just kind of

watching that. And I saw the dad get up.

I mean, stand up during the sermon, walk in the aisle or

the, the row behind and come around and sit by the sun.

I'm going, oh, oh, something's going to happen.

You know, it's going to be some discipline here.

I could have been farther from the truth.

This is this is something that God was going to show me that

God was going to teach me. So he sits down next to his son

and it what plays out in front of me is exactly what the

discussion was about. He gets the Bible from his son.

His Bible has his son has a paper Bible and he takes the

Bible from his son and he opens to the table of contents and

he's finding the passage of Scripture that Clayton is

preaching from. And he finds the page number.

He goes to that book, finds the chapter, finds the verse.

And then the Father and the Son hold the Bible together while

the while the father moves his finger along the sentences, the

lines that Clayton is saying. And I went, that's it.

That's how difficult it is. That's how simple it is.

That's what it means to be a godly parent, something as

simple as that. And I remember sitting there and

I and you saw it too. We were watching it together.

And I'm kind of and you're, you're, you're going, yeah, I

already saw that. And it's like, wow, cuz she

probably knows what was going on my mind ahead of that.

Anyway, I thought that. Thank you, Lord, that's, that's

great. That's done.

No, he wasn't done. Later on in that same service,

we get to the worship time, the second worship time after the

sermon, right? And they're standing together

and I hear that kids voice again and he's talking to his dad

again. And I see the dad doesn't have

to stand up. He's already standing, does the

same thing, walks around to the row behind him, comes over the

other side, and then stands by his son and start singing loudly

so his son can hear him. And the son is hearing his

father worship and praise God. And the son's hands go up in the

air to worship. Hold on, hold on.

And the father sees the son's hands go up in worship.

So his hands go up in worship. And then I'm going now that's

really it, right? So here's the Son being an

example to the Father, while the Father is being a teacher to his

Son. And you know, if you're looking

in the table of contents, you're not a theologian, But do you

think God cares about that? Or do you think what God cares

about is a father and a son making a moment, a memory in a

moment, probably a core memory of what it means to be a godly

parent and embrace that responsibility?

That's what it really is, that we're moving to a time of

decision. This is the part that I don't

really like to do, but I'm compelled to do it.

And that is, you know, you might have liked what we had to say.

You might have liked what I had to say, but I want you to know

something. You've heard me say this before.

How many of you have heard in church that church is full of

hypocrites? Raise your hand if you've heard

that before, right? And you've probably heard me say

before if you've been attending a while and I'm the biggest one

in the room because I'm the guy telling you how to live your

life and then I go home struggling to live mine.

Where do I get off telling you that stuff, right?

Well, there's nowhere that that hypocrisy hits me harder than in

parenting, because I have constantly feeling my inadequacy

when my temper gets the best of me, when I don't give the best

answers, when my adult children tell me the damage that I did to

them when they were kids, that kind of stuff.

And it's hard and it hurts. And I want to make excuses for

myself. Why do you think I asked Allison

immediately to preach this sermon with me?

Because I needed a designated hitter.

I needed somebody who was like, actually really good at

parenting. That's the way I view it.

But I can tell you this, Allison is back there playing right now,

will be the first person to come up and say, well, Jerry, I

appreciate that, but I'm just as big a hypocrite as you are.

All of us want Jesus to be our savior.

Why do we want Him to be our Savior?

Because you all have a past, like me.

You all have regrets, choices that you wish you could have do

overs on, but you can't. Because you can't roll the clock

back. And so that haunts you.

It hangs with you. I need a savior.

I need to be saved from that. You know what?

Being saved from your past, that's just not good enough,

right? Because you don't just need to

be safe from your past. You need to be safe from today,

and you need to be saved from the days you haven't even lived

yet. Aren't you glad that you have a

savior that lives in all three tenses at the same time, that he

can save to that extent? Great.

But that's not all I need. I'm a lot more needy than that.

I don't just need a savior. I need a Lord.

And the reason I need a Lord is because I don't do this right on

my best day. I'm still making things up as I

go, you know, as a grandparent now, as a parent of adult

children now. And I need somebody to tell me

if I'm doing it right or wrong or making an adjustment.

Help me to do that. So I need a Lord in my life that

speaks into my life and into my heart on a regular basis because

I'm still not good enough. But that's OK because I have

one. I have a Savior and I have a

Lord and someday He's going to complete it.

And what He does is always right.

If you're here and you don't have an intimate personal

relationship with Jesus Christ, what the heck is wrong with you?

You can't do this by yourself. Nobody can.

You can't do this even in a good marriage if it's not a Christ

centered marriage. You can't do this without God.

You can't do this without Jesus. And it isn't about having

religion or going to church. It's about having a relationship

with Jesus Christ, to know that he's there every moment and to

know that he is like what we've sung in the past, a good, good

father. He's a father who doesn't use

guilt. Did you know that?

He uses conviction? Human beings get really confused

between those two things. Guilt means a father saying to

son or daughter, I'm ashamed of you.

Conviction is a father saying to a son or daughter, this is not

acceptable behavior and you and I are going to work this out and

I am not leaving. I'm not moving until we get this

right together because I love you that much.

You want to hear the dumbest word in relationships,

particularly in parenting. Here's the dumbest word,

tolerance. When has love ever been

tolerant? You know, your, your, your child

comes home with grade with, with grades from school and there's

3DS and 2FS. How tolerant are you of that?

Well, not if you love them. Because if you love them, you

want them to do better, right? And if you want them to do

better, you have to be willing to put in the time and say,

we're going to figure this out together.

I'm not going to just guilt you and tell you this is a lousy

report card. I'm going to say, let's work on

this. Let's do it together, right?

True love is intolerant because it wants the best for each other

in a in a marriage, in in, in, in parenting, in every walk of

life. That's what love is.

It's not selfish if you don't have an intimate, personal

relationship with Jesus Christ. You don't have the tools that

are necessary for you to be the parent God wants you to be.

There's going to be somebody right over there by the

baptistry that would love nothing more than to pray with

you. They don't have, they're not any

smarter than you. They just have the answer in

Jesus Christ and they would like to pray with you and help

shepherd you down that road because the person leading you

down that road isn't them. It's Jesus himself because he's

here in this room right now. If you've never come to Jesus,

you can do it right now. If you have come to Jesus,

you're in a relationship with Jesus.

Well, then you got it all figured out, right?

You're a great parent. Everything's going perfect.

It's been going perfect. It's going to continue to go

perfect. Right now.

Everybody that's here in the sermon needs to be up here on

their knees if they're a parent or if you're planning on being

one someday. You know why you're critiquing

everybody else. God help me.

God be my savior. God be my Lord.

Jesus shepherd me. This is your opportunity.

Would you stand with me? Let's pray together.

Heavenly Father, in Jesus name. Take this moment.

It's a sacred moment because you're here and your children

are here and I just pray, Father, that right now you would

speak into the hearts of your children and that we would move

together, not as the best children ever, prodigal's all,

but that we would just go to our Father and see the perfect

example and feel the embrace of his love in Jesus name, Amen.