The Destructive Power of Envy

All right, let's do some work. Let's go back to the book of Numbers.

Numbers 11:4

Chapter 11, verse 4. Excuse me.

I might have to start bringing like water up here with me. You know,

Wednesday night, I do water.

I can go through almost a whole bottle of water on Wednesday night.

And I don't want to be aggravating on Sunday morning. You know what I'm saying?

Wednesday night, I get a moment to stop and swallow, you know. Okay.

Numbers 11.4. Numbers 11.4. New King James Version. You good? Yeah?

Whatever you got, don't matter. I'm going to switch it up a little bit too,

a little later in a minute.

Y'all getting there? Better yet, are you there? All right. I like it.

I'll read for you. Now the mixed multitude, shout the mixed multitude,

who were among them yielded to intense craving. So the children of Israel also

wept again and said, who will give us meat to eat?

We remember the fish, which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers,

the melons, the leeks, the onions and the garlic. What did they eat leeks with?

It's random. It's onion ish. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know.

Whatever. OK. What did you eat the onion with?

Onion is seasoning. Isn't the onion a seasoning? Could you imagine walking around

eating an onion like an apple?

People do that. Don't be weird. Don't be weird.

Raise your hand if you like eating an onion like an apple. You eat an onion like an apple?

With some vinegar, some salt, and some pepper. Well, they didn't have vinegar,

salt, and pepper back then. This was just straight onion.

Whatever. I'm praying for you if you eat an onion like an apple. It's okay.

Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt,

the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.

But now our whole being is dried up.

There is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes. Verse 7.

And its taste was like the taste of Krispy Kreme donuts. That's not in your Bible? I'm just saying.

And when the dew fell on the camp in the night, the manna fell on it.

Then Moses heard the people weeping throughout their families,

everyone at the door of his tent.

And the anger of the Lord was greatly aroused. Moses also was as pleased.

Skip down to verse 31. I skip all that because there's a lot of narrative in

there. It talks about the 70 elders and all that kind of stuff.

Now, verse 31. Now a wind went out from the Lord and it brought quail from the

sea and left them fluttering near the camp.

About a day's journey on this side and about a day's journey on the other side,

all around the camp and about two cubits above the surface of the ground.

And the people stayed up all that day All night and all the next day and gathered the quail.

He who gathered, he who gathered, excuse me, he who gathered least gathered

10 omers and they spread them out before themselves all around the camp. Verse 13.

The Lord was aroused against the people, and the Lord struck the people with a very great plague.

So he called the name of that place Kabrath-Hatava because they buried the people

who had yielded to craving.

Somebody shout at me what Kabrath-Hatava means.

Graves of lust. If you translate that phrase or that name of that place,

it is called graves of lust.

So for the past two weeks or a few weeks, we've been talking about this mixed

multitude that was It was mentioned, I believe, in verse 4.

If you go back to the book of Exodus, they're mentioned there.

They were this people who just kind of tagged along or who attached themselves

to the Israelites as they were making their way out of Egypt.

And now in this text, about a year later, we find them at the center stage of

an issue that was rooted because of what they did.

They're at the center stage of the Israelites' life and basically making an

issue for the Israelites.

When we look at this text, the Israelites were dealing with an actual people.

The mixed multitude for them were actual people.

But for us, over the past couple of weeks, we said a mixed multitude was this

for us. Let's put the definition up on the screen.

Anything in me, shout anything in me. Somebody shout anything in me.

I'm going to pray for you, Lord. Search me for anything in me.

Somebody shout anything in me. Anything in me, thoughts, feelings,

emotions, desires that is more comfortable with the things of my sinful past

than the places of my promise. Somebody shout anything in me.

Even the things that you like about you that shouldn't be there.

Somebody shout anything in me.

I'm talking about that thing that's been on your mind and has been on your heart

for several years that you can't shake. Somebody shout anything.

Anything in me, Lord, that's not like you. I'm asking God that you will remove

it in this moment. and anything that makes it difficult on you to keep your freedom.

Anything in you that is biased to the unregenerated you, anything that is biased

to the unredeemed you, anything that is still in you that was with you BC, the before Christ you.

I'm talking about all of those ways and all of those thoughts and all of those

feelings and all of those emotions that used to run rampant in you before Christ

that are still lingering around and making it difficult for you to maintain your freedom.

You spend more time fighting for freedom than walking in freedom.

And that is not the posture that a Christian should have.

We should know that we are free because whom the son says free is what? Free indeed.

So I don't have to fight for something that is already mine.

I don't have to fight for something that belongs to me.

And many of us spend more time on our knees praying that we don't mess this up.

Lord, change my mind. Get this lust out of my life. Get these feelings out of my life.

Get this out of my life. Get that out of my life. I can't be free because I'm

always fighting for my freedom.

So for the last couple of weeks, we've been talking about lust.

This week, we're going to talk about envy. Somebody shout envy.

Let's throw up a definition of envy. I think I gave this to you already.

The definition we're going to work with is wanting what you don't have.

Feeling like what you do have is not enough and that God owes you better.

I'll let you write it down.

Wanting what you don't have, feeling like what you do have is not enough and

that God owes you better.

I see some people still taking pictures. It's okay. I like it.

The definition we're working with is wanting what you don't have,

feeling like what you do have is not enough and that God owes you better.

Y'all ready? Envy is the devil's personal sin.

Envy is near and dear to the devil's heart because envy is what got the devil kicked out of heaven.

Lucifer, the devil, was the highest ranking angel in heaven.

And his assignment was to lead the heavenly host in worship unto God.

And somewhere along the way, he looked at all of his beauty because they said

that he was beautiful, that he looked at all of his beauty and all of his glory.

And he said to himself, I want that glory.

I want that worship that they're given to God.

I don't want to be in the position that he has me. I want what he has.

And as a result, he was kicked out of heaven.

He was cast out of heaven down to a place that we now know as Earth.

Understanding now, since I've given you this this this history lesson,

understanding now that envy is is is is near and dear to the devil's heart.

What sin do you think he levies against man the most?

Understanding that this is the thing that got him cast out of heaven,

out of the position of worship leader and down to the earth.

What do you think he wants to make you the most comfortable in? Envy.

Because here's the thing. He wants you. He wants us to fall the same way he

did so that he can look back at God and say, see, you thought you could replace me with them.

But they're doing the same thing I did.

So he works extremely hard to keep us caught up in envy. And here's the thing

for you. I want you to understand this.

Just like lust, just like jealousy, envy is one of those emotions that can not

go where God is taking it. It cannot go.

Envy is one of the ugliest emotions of mankind.

Envy is that thing in you that rises up every now and again that finds pleasure

in somebody else's pain.

Envy is that thing that you feel every now and again that makes you have a problem

with somebody else's success.

Envy is this thing that will make you say, I'm praying for you.

But in your heart, you're kind of amused by the fact that they're going through

what they're going through.

Envy is a very ugly thing. And the reason why it is so ugly, because envy is silent.

It is just my posture. So nobody sees how I feel because it's on the inside of me.

So I can continue to walk around in envy, the sin of envy and act as if everything is OK.

But the entire time I got this little bitty hater inside of me on everybody.

So, so, so, so, so I may have said online, you go, girl. But in my heart, I'm saying I hate you.

I may have said I may have typed to you. I mean, God bless you.

And I can see you elevating and doing all these things. And you're saying to

yourself, she don't deserve it.

That is the thing that envy does. Solomon says this, and I don't want to go

this deep because I want to teach this later.

Solomon says that envy rots the bones.

It works from the inside out. It is the inside out type of thing.

It makes a cavity inside of you that you cannot reach.

And here's the thing. Many of us will never give it credit because we've never

said these words, but you do know how you feel at times. It's a good part.

Every person in this room has to deal with envy.

Every person, listen to me, it is the ugliest thing about us.

It is the ugliest thing about me.

It's that thing in you where you see them feeling, it's kind of like you feeling yourself, yes.

You see that they didn't get it or they didn't make it or they couldn't make

it happen or the marriage fell apart. And there's something in you that feels good about it.

Envy is one of these emotions. It's one of these feelings that will keep you

on the outskirts of your promise for the rest of your life. Hear me.

If envy is in control of your life, you may you may say nice things,

but you ugly on the inside.

Envy is a lot different than lust.

Envy is parlayed by lust, but envy is different than lust because lust just says, I want it.

I got to have it and I'm willing to do whatever I got to do to get it.

But envy says, I want it and I don't want you to have it. As a matter of fact, I want what you got.

Kennedy, I can tell by their silence that I'm picking the nerve on somebody right now.

Did you show up this morning so we can have a real conversation?

Okay, let's work a little bit.

Look at your neighbor and shout to them, envy can't go. Look at your other neighbor

and say, neighbor, oh, you got to say it better than that.

Neighbor, you weren't my first choice, but I'm letting you know too that envy can't go.

All right, so here's what I'm going to do. We're going to read the same text,

but I'm going to read it out of CSB version. I'm going to put it on the screen

for you because I don't want to confuse you. I know you probably don't have it, okay?

But it words it in a way that helps me to navigate what I want to say.

Let's put that text up on the screen, please. Y'all ready?

So let me pause for a second.

Bettina, how many points do I typically give you on a Sunday?

I said, Bettina? Monika? How many points do I give you on a Sunday?

Ooh. That's enough, y'all.

Marquise, how many points do I give on a Sunday? Usually three.

So y'all think y'all know me. Well, today I got two points.

Now, you know me, you don't know me.

Let's work. Text on the screen. Yes. All right. The riffraff.

Remember I told you before riffraff, it could say rabble, but the mixed multitude,

that's the same thing as mixed multitude.

The riffraff among them had a strong craving for other food.

The Israelites wept again and said, who will feed us meat?

We remember the free fish we ate in Egypt, along with the cucumbers,

the melons, the leeks, onions, and garlic.

But now our appetite is gone.

There's nothing to look at but this manner. Point number one,

envy destroys our appetite for what God is doing.

Say it with me. Envy destroys our appetite for what God is doing.

I'm going to let you write it down. I only got two points. You better hurry

up. There's no catch-ups today.

As much as y'all text, it'll take you a long time to write these three, four, five words.

Y'all ready? Okay. You ever go to a restaurant, order your food,

you know, you're sitting down, order your food and everything is going fine.

And a few bites into your meal, you find a hair in your food or you or you like

there's a there's something floating in your drink.

Hear me now. And because of what you saw, you lose your appetite.

Like the waiter will come back like, ma'am, can I give you something?

No, I'm good. Like I'm straight.

The food was good. Everything was going fine.

You're not eating because you're not hungry. Right. I'm hungry.

I still could eat. I want to eat, but I'm not eating and I don't have an appetite

because of what I saw. Now, when envy is allowed to control your life,

it will make a good thing repulsive to you.

Hear me this one again. When envy has control in your life, it will make a good thing repulsive to you.

You become disgusted and offended by a thing that used to bless you.

There was nothing wrong with it. It was blessing. It is a blessing.

I'm saying it's a blessing, but because of what I saw, I don't have an appetite for it anymore.

Listen to what they say in verse four. This is so good. I'm going to give you

two words. I'm seeing verse five. They say this. We remember.

Watch me now. We can vividly see the free fish, the cucumbers,

the melons, the onions and everything that we had in bondage.

And because of what we see, I don't want what I have.

And I know that, listen to me, y'all hear me now. I know that manna is a blessing,

but I don't want it because of what I saw.

I don't even have an appetite for it anymore. I don't even want it no more because of what I saw.

There is nothing wrong with this. This is the best thing since sliced bread.

As a matter of fact, it was sliced bread falling from heaven every day.

Better yet, it was Krispy Kremes falling from heaven every single day.

And I know this is a blessing because only God can do this. But because of what

I saw, or somebody show up because of what I saw. I don't even want it no more.

Relate to that? Because of what I saw. I remember I put Pastor Wanzo on the

altar. I don't mind doing it because I love him.

My very first career job, I worked for Pepsi Bottling Group.

And I had been promoted to territory sales manager and everything was going fine. I loved it, Pepsi.

Coke was a bad word in my house. That's how serious I was about Pepsi.

Everything was going fine. I was on the promotion track.

I was getting raises and everything was good. I liked the environment.

I made several friends and everything was good.

But one day, I walked into my boss's office to talk to him and I was sitting

at his desk. He was on that side of the desk.

I was on this side and he was talking and I could see out of the corner of my

eye, an increase sheet sitting right here.

Now, I know I ain't supposed to be looking, but you left it there. I mean, it's not.

So I looked at this sheet and there was a lady who worked with me.

She was, she was, she was, she was, she didn't look like me.

Let's just put it like that. Right.

And yeah, she did. Okay. And I just want to make sure she didn't look like me.

He didn't look like me, but I see this piece of paper and me and her do the

same exact jobs. Except she does large I do small format, we do the same exact job.

I look at this piece of paper and I see her salary.

It was 30 G's more than I was making. I don't want the $30,000.

I'm gonna talk better than that.

If I was at the crib, it'd be 30 G's, right?

It was 30 G's more than I made. I got up, I walked out that office and I determined

that day, I can't do this no more.

Five minutes ago, this was the best job in the world. But I determined in myself

and I lost my appetite for something that I said that I love because of what I saw.

Have you ever really truly been there before?

Like, listen, I got a good husband.

I got a good wife. But when I see them engage with their husband and their wife,

all of a sudden we got all of these issues because of what I saw.

Listen to me. You ever walked off a job because of what you saw?

You ever left a relationship because of what you saw? You ever got dissatisfied

in a relationship because of what but you saw someplace else.

Have you ever gotten dissatisfied at your church because you saw another church online?

Because of what you saw. And here's the thing.

We are forfeiting blessings. We are forfeiting miracles because of what we see.

The problem that many of us have is that we haven't been able to move on from what we saw.

You are stuck where you saw it.

You can't move on because you saw the wrong thing at the right time.

Somebody shot what I saw. How many blessings are you now turning your nose up

at because of what you saw? My car was good until I saw hers.

Watch this. I'm going to do you. I'm going to go deeper because I could feel

you getting it. My car ain't got no car payment on it. And I was rejoicing.

I was rejoicing.

But my homegirl go get a 2024 and all of a sudden I think I can afford a car payment. I think I can.

How are you going to turn? How are you now going to turn your back on what you

call a blessing? We do it all the time.

I was excited about you in the picture. You know, you and you and you in the

mirror at which which one is it? L.A. Fitness. Yeah.

You losing weight, but then you've lost 15 pounds as far.

You're doing really good and you're good with your shape. But then she walked in.

Now, all of a sudden, you're a glutton.

I want you to be able to identify the time that you forfeited the blessings

of God, the miracles that God is bestowing upon your life because of what you saw. What you saw.

Here's the thing. What you saw didn't have to have any merit.

Okay. I want to get more. I want you to understand, though, and I'm a press.

Envy has a way of crippling you enjoying what you have.

Pastor Tina will tell you this. I was young, y'all. I was young.

He was young. I'm qualifying the statement before I say it because y'all judgmental.

When I was young, she would hate to go see model houses with me because she

knew if I got, if I looked in it too long, if I, if I saw too much,

we got to move. I want more.

I was just telling Cody this yesterday. I was telling Cody tonight this,

our very first house, this is, this is way back. Y'all, I mean,

we've been in this, the house we're in right now for almost 20 years.

Old as her, but our very first house, this is way back in the day.

They don't do this no more because $13 an hour right now, it means that you're,

you homeless at basically almost stuff working nowadays. Nowadays,

but our very first house, I made $13 an hour and I had a part time job where I made $8 an hour.

Pasatini was making like 15, $16 an hour at the time. And we bought our first house.

Nobody. Listen, nobody in my family had ever built a house. I built a house. This is a blessing.

Y'all ain't clapping. You ain't clapping for the blessing.

No, no, no. That's not just a blessing. It was a miracle. $13, $13 an hour.

Less than a year. I looked at Pastor Tina, it was probably about six months.

I looked at her and said, baby girl, we need to put this thing on the market.

Was these houses down the street that they were building. And my house didn't.

So I built my first house. What is it called?

Linoleum? Is it called linoleum? Like the little plastic tile?

Is it called linoleum? Yeah. It was nice. It was real nice.

But this house came with upgrades.

In less than a year, I'm about to abandon the blessing. We did.

But I'm saying that to you so that you you can clearly understand how easy the

enemy is able to navigate envy in your life.

Sometimes you don't have to be envious of another person. You just have envy

inside of you. So you're envious of things.

I am not joking. The girl would say, we can't go see no more model house.

We're done. We're not going to see another house.

As a matter of fact, in this last house we built, she's put her foot down.

We ain't building another one till I say so.

Because here's me. You ever see here, like your eyes are too big for your stomach?

Yeah. You have your flesh. Listen to me. Hear me now. Your flesh,

who you are, you got very big eyes. You have very big thirst.

And the enemy plays on that every single day to make you forfeit what God is

doing in your life. It was good until you saw something else.

Let's just be honest. It was good until you saw something else.

And we will listen to we will we will stay on this merry-go-round with God until

we finally put our foot down and say, Envy, that's not enough. It's enough.

I'm not taking another step until he tells me to move. I'm not moving.

Shut up. I'm not moving. Let's get this next one.

What was the first point? Say it better than that, please.

Good. All right. Let's get the next one. The riff of verse four. Back on the text.

Yes. The riffraff among them has strong craving for other food.

The Israelites wept again and said, who will feed us meat? We remember the fresh,

the free fish we ate in Egypt, along with the cucumber, melon,

leeks, onions, and garlic. But now our appetite is gone.

There's nothing to look at but this man. A second point, last point for today.

Envy makes illogical comparisons.

Say that with me. Envy makes illogical, illogical comparisons. Comparisons.

To me, if the Israelites would have taken a moment to process how irrational this thought was,

they could have saved themselves from destruction because they were comparing

things that weren't comparable.

You catch that? I don't think you catch it.

Y'all want to play a little game with me? You sure? Say yes.

If they were comparing McDonald's versus Burger King, good comparison.

Yes or no? I'm going to go on the other side.

McDonald's and Burger King, good comparison.

Who am I Goose? Comparable. Yeah.

Let's do Colgate toothpaste and Crest toothpaste.

Are you getting it now? Let's do Target for your boozy people,

right? Target and Walmart.

They're the same thing. They're in the same category. Good comparison, right?

So now watch what they did.

Bondage versus freedom. Now, I don't care how you frame it.

It's an illogical comparison because they were taking a highlight reel from bondage, free fish,

melons, onions, cucumbers, and comparing it against the everyday of their freedom.

I don't care how you frame it.

Those are two things that are not comparable.

I can't compare a highlight reel of my bondage, the best of my bondage to the everyday of my freedom.

It's an illogical comparison. We, on the other hand, we take the everyday details

of our life and compare it against a cropped, staged,

filtered highlight reel on Instagram.

And we wonder why we're dissatisfied with what God is doing in our life because

we keep making illogical comparisons.

Compare a staged picture versus all of the dirty details of my life that I know.

It's an illogical comparison. The two things should never be compared,

but we do it every single day.

You are dissatisfied because you keep comparing yourself to something that honestly is not real.

If you walked around with that person every single day, they wouldn't have that

same light shining on them that made them look so good in that post they made three days ago.

But you are holding yourself accountable for something that was posted three

days ago that wasn't real. It was an illogical comparison.

So what envy will have you do, instead of, I'll put it like this,

instead of comparing, we should be counting.

The reason why you are so displeased and so disgruntled with God is because

you are spending too much time comparing when you should be counting.

You shouldn't be, you shouldn't be comparing your blessings.

You should be counting your blessings.

I'm gonna help you. One, he saved me.

Two, he changed my mind. Three, he is changing my heart. Four, he has given me life.

Five, I have breath. Six, I can walk. Seven, I woke up this morning.

I will keep stacking miracles. And the problem that we have is that we keep

comparing ourselves versus counting what God is doing.

Look at your neighbor for me real quick and ask him, can you count?

Look back at him and say you don't act like it.

Here's the thing. Watch me. I'll watch this. So when I start comparing, I get critical.

I'm comparing myself to this this thing that I should never compare myself to.

I'm comparing my life to this picture that, oh gosh, do you hear how dumb this

is? We compare our life to a picture.

So watch this now. Because I made an illogical comparison, I start to be critical

of the blessings that God has given me.

So now I'm starting to look for every flaw in the blessing.

This is way deeper than y'all willing to go with me this morning.

I start to look for every flaw in the blessing that something that I know is

a blessing. I will start to find every flaw in it.

You don't say I love you the way that they say I love you.

You don't hug me the way that he hugs his wife.

Oh, we didn't get a 2% raise. We got one and a half percent raise on my job. Why?

But you just said five minutes ago, this was a blessing. But because you compare, you get critical.

Listen to me. There's a relationship between the two. When you compare,

you're going to be critical.

I don't care who you are. If I'm comparing, I'm being critical.

Oh, gosh. You've criticized people away from you. because you compare them to something else.

Tell you, you will lose every relationship. You will lose every level of influence

if you continue to compare things that should never be compared.

You compare your kids against other kids.

It's an illogical comparison. Two human beings should never be compared to each

other because you are seeing a modicum of their life, a very small part of their life.

You are seeing a nothing of your life and you have now gotten yourself into

a tissy because you think that their life is like that every single day. How dumb is that?

You move a halfway across the country because somebody posted a picture of them in Texas.

Texas is a new hot thing now. Everybody wants to move to Texas.

And North Carolina, that's a new spot too.

Do you see what I'm saying? Do you see what I'm saying?

The enemy has been able to infiltrate our lives and stay there because envy

has been present in our lives.

And here's where we talked about this on Wednesday. We have to stop leaning into it.

We have to stop giving ourselves to it. If you come to Wednesday night Bible study, it gets better.

You have to stop leaning into it. You have to stop giving yourself to it because

here's the thing, envy is an

emotion. So all of us have these range of emotions. It's on your spectrum.

Envy is on your spectrum. It's always there. But what we have to learn to do is EQ or mute it out.

Because if not, if envy controls your life, you will find yourself forfeiting

blessings that you know.

You will find yourself questioning the things that God has done in your life

and discounting them because.

Music.