"Healthy Homes" Pt.1

Hi, this is John O'Zanting, the pastor of Evolved Church, and this is the Evolved Church Podcast.

Thanks so much for tuning in.

We hope that you find today's message encouraging and full of hope for wherever you're at.

Father, thank you so much for the gift of your presence.

We just honor the work of your spirit in the room.

We honor that you're consistently good at showing up strong in our lives.

Even when we don't see it, we want to give honor to the ongoing deep heart work that your spirit longs to produce in us.

It's for freedom that Jesus makes us free.

And so today we just open up our lives, open up our hearts and surrender the worst parts of our story and the best moments of our week.

We just lay it all at your feet.

There's no shame, there's no guilt in the room, there's no shortage of your love to break through barriers, break through walls, speak to lives.

So we just invite you to do your best work in us today.

We ask in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

Grab your seat.

Um would you be able to pass me my Bible and my notebook there, please?

Thank you.

Thanks, love.

My beautiful wife.

We uh moved into a new home this week.

That's lots of fun.

If I look a little bit tired, that's why.

That's why.

Does anybody love moving?

No, I love I love moving.

I just don't like the work part of moving.

You know, I uh but moving, uh I've moved 33 times in my my short.

Some of you are like, he can't even be 33 years old.

Like, how how is it possible?

He is, he's much older than that.

Uh, but I've moved 33 times in my 45 years on planet Earth.

That's that's a lot.

That's a good bit of moving.

And I grew up in a carpenter's home in the 80s when finances were wild and crazy.

And one of the ways my parents stayed on top of things was my dad would like, in addition to his workflow, he would also always be building us a new house.

So he'd be we would move into a house, and then the day after he would start digging the foundation of what was gonna be our next house.

And then there was one season we lived on the same street in three different houses.

I'm not even making this up.

Dad, I hope you're watching online from Chatham, Ontario, today.

But um uh we yes, we we built a house and then four doors down, we built another one, and then right next door to that one.

That was my favorite move.

We literally just picked up boxes and walked next door.

Um, but uh moving movies are a lot of work, and um in June of last year, Nicole and I, and our three kids and our two dogs, we moved out of our house into a temporary rental home that we've been in since June.

And we took possession of our new house this past Wednesday.

And uh so the thing was we had like um we were we've been on an experiment.

I call it an exercise in minimalism, living in the townhouse because we brought bare bones, we brought as little as possible into the townhouse because we were only supposed to be in there for a few months.

And then uh our house was delayed and it was delayed again, and it was delayed again.

So we had like a few things at the townhouse, and then the rest of our stuff was in storage.

So this past week, Wednesday, long story, but we had a set of uh a moving company come and take everything out of the townhouse and bring it to the new house.

And then on Thursday morning, a different moving company went to the storage unit and packed up all those and brought all that to the house.

And and on Thursday, I was standing in the garage as the guys are bringing in boxes going, I haven't seen this stuff since June.

I have no idea what's in here.

And do I even need it anymore?

Does anybody have boxes in your house that you haven't opened in like how many years?

How many, like I just out of curiosity, and if you if you're watching online, do you have boxes in a storage room or in your garage that you haven't opened up in like, let's say four years?

Who can beat four years?

Fifteen, fifteen years.

Somebody, did somebody say thirty five?

Sir, that's as long as I've been alive.

It's my father-in-law, ladies and gentlemen.

Thirty-five years.

You know what?

I have some advice for you, Dave Broadfoot.

Just pick up that box and find the nearest dumpster.

Just throw it away.

Because whatever's in there, you you or donate it, yes, but I don't know what's in there.

Right?

Because here's a good example.

I was talking about moving with Robin Minar, and and I have Robin's permission to tell this story, by the way.

I called him this week and said, Can I tell the story?

He's like, Yeah, that's fine.

I'm working, working nights, so I won't even be there.

Um, but next time you see Robin, make sure you give him a hard time.

Because we were talking about moving at uh Freedom Group a couple weeks ago, and he says, Pastor John, he says, I gotta be honest, I I opened up a box the other day, and I've moved it four different times.

And I opened it up to be like, what is in here?

And he said it was garbage.

It was literally actually, it was just a box of trash that had been sealed and that had been moved four times.

Four times they moved a box of garbage from season to season, they just brought this trash along with them.

And Robin, I love you, man, but that is the best.

Because when you told me that, instant I if you remember, I don't, and he's gonna be listening to this.

If you remember, I said, dude, I gotta use that in a message in a couple weeks.

Because we all have trash that we've been carrying around for a long time.

35 years of garbage, I don't know, 60 years of garbage.

We all have we have boxes of stuff internally in our soul that we've been carrying around for a long time.

And we wonder what's inside, we're scared to look inside.

We just kind of power through each new season.

And as we begin a two-part series called Healthy Homes, I just kind of want to start with this.

When it comes to your heart, your sense of story, your sense of self, when it comes to what you believe to be true about family and home, how much garbage do you have packed away?

And in two weeks, we've never done a two-part series before, so this is aggressive, I get it.

But in two weeks, my prayer is simply that the Holy Spirit would allow us all to open up whatever box we need to and deal with it so that we can actually embrace what it means to belong to family in a way that honors Jesus.

We've all got stuff.

Do we unpack and sort through the boxes of our origin story, of what it means to grow up in a home, what it means to belong to family, or are we too scared?

Maybe it's too painful.

Maybe that feels too much like regret.

Maybe that tears a scab off a wound that's just started to heal.

Maybe unpacking that box fills our hearts with a sense of dread or failure.

Or maybe this exercise is life-giving and hopeful, and when you look back and you go, like, I don't think I have any trash to deal with.

Or maybe you just say that because you're too scared to deal with the actual stuff.

I don't know.

But here's what I know Psalm 68, verse 6.

Psalms 68:6

God places the lonely in family.

Close your eyes for a second, everybody in the room, everybody watching online, just close your eyes.

And I want you to just allow your imagination and your heart and even the presence of God in the room right now, allow God to like pull somebody that you know to your imagination.

Picture that person, somebody you know that's lonely right now.

Eyes closed, raise up your right hand if you know somebody that's lonely right now.

Right?

Oh my goodness.

We all know somebody that's like, I'm so alone.

I'm so lonely.

Picture that person, and then receive this truth from Psalm 68.

God places the lonely in family.

In family.

And it goes on to say he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.

And so here's the powerful truth.

You can open your eyes now, or else I'm gonna think you're sleeping, which is fine.

Like if you need a nap, respect, I get it.

But um, God places the lonely in families, and then it goes on to say, not as a not as a next thought, but as a continuation, he sets prisoners free and gives them joy.

And so I can't help but wonder when it comes to loneliness and and the isolation that people are experiencing, like a prison that's containing them, how much of that comes from our origin story of family, our origin story of home, our origin story of what does it mean, what does my identity look like wrapped up into the family that I grew up in, and here I am all by myself.

I got an email this week from somebody who was reaching out for help, and they have nobody.

And I've never met this person.

They cold call, emailed a church asking for help because they have nobody.

And that right there, my friends, whether you're here in the room, whether you're brand new to faith, whether you've been following Jesus for a long time, that right there is why the finished work of Jesus continues to have a purpose in our lifetime because there are lonely people that God wants to place into family.

And so, do we, yeah, let's clap about that.

That's okay.

There are lonely people that God wants to place into family, and a lot of times I miss those people because I'm I'm caught up with my own stuff or I'm busy doing my thing, or I'm literally unpacking boxes.

But it doesn't change God's heart to place us into family.

Amen.

It's a powerful, powerful truth that family is both A, the Father's design, and B, the Father's plan for all of us.

It's God's design and God's plan for us to know and understand what it means to belong to a healthy home, a healthy family.

And somebody in the room here today, somebody watching online, has a dream to start a family.

As I was praying earlier this morning upstairs, I just had the sense somebody like I they have a dream to like belong to a healthy family, but their past is riddled with so much hurt and pain that they can't even imagine what that looks like.

And I just want you to know there's good news.

God wants to restore that, redeem that, and bring you back to life.

Family, real family, healthy family, renewed family, reconciled family, life-giving family, forgiven family.

Family.

When I say family, what do you think of?

What comes to mind?

Anybody seen the classic uh film called The Princess Bride?

Yes?

Come on, come on.

I refer to it as a classic film.

Like normally, when we say classic film, we're talking about like gone with the wind or sound of music.

But the Princess Bride to me should deserve to be in that same kind of cali.

It's it's just a wonderful work of art.

The Princess Bride, anybody, anybody?

Am I alone?

All right.

I wanna I want to have a watch party just to watch the Princess Bride together, but great movie.

I've seen it way too many times.

And there's a scene where um Vicini and Enigo Montoya, and then um Fezzick, the giant, they've they've captured Princess Buttercup and they're they're trying to take her away to kill her, and they've gone up the cliffs of insanity because only Fezick is strong enough to climb.

But they're being pursued by the man in black, uh, who we know is actually Prince Wesley, spoiler alert.

Uh but uh they're being pursued, and uh, and all along this journey from the ship to the shore and up the cliffs of insanity, um, the character uh Vizini, he keeps saying this word.

Inconceivable.

Right?

Inconceivable.

Type it in the chats on the count of three or say it out loud with me.

One, two, three, inconceivable.

And when they get to the top of the cliffs of insanity, Inigo Montoya, you know, you killed my father, prepare to die.

That guy.

He says, he turns to Vizini, and here's what he says.

He says, Vizini, you keep using that word.

I do not think it means what you think it means.

And uh, great scene, love it, great.

I I'm gonna watch it this afternoon.

I think can we can we have a family movie night and watch Princess Bride today?

Inconceivable.

You keep using that word.

I do not think it means what you think it means.

And somebody in the room, somebody watching from home today is like, Pastor John keeps talking about family, keeps talking about home, and your heart is like pulling up pictures of family and home, and you're like, family, you keep using that word.

I do not think it means what you think it means.

Because your picture of family is so skewed, your picture of family is so messed, it's so broken, and it needs the gift and the whisper and the wind of the Holy Spirit to redeem it and restore it and bring it back to life today.

That's the tricky thing with the word family.

When I say family, you think something.

Do you think healthy?

When I say family, you say healthy.

Family, family.

You're a little slow.

Want to try?

You want to do over?

When I say family, you say healthy.

Family, family.

This side of the room, great participation.

And if somebody type the word in in the chats, I'm gonna be impressed.

But uh when I say family, it's actually imperative that we pay close attention to what our hearts scream when I use the word family.

When I say family, your heart screams messy.

When I say family, your heart screams broken.

When I say family, your heart shouts out indifferent.

I'm done with.

Or beautiful, life-giving.

When I say family, you think angry or toxic.

Somewhere in the mix, can you pay attention to what your heart is communicating when we talk about family?

When I say family, you say painful, I don't know, where are you at today?

When it comes to living in healthy homes, whether that's your relationship status, your your family of origin, the family you grew up in, the family you're creating, whether that's church family, here's what I know God's design and God's plan is that we know what it means to be a part of healthy homes.

To be a part of a healthy family.

And I personally don't think we stop often enough or long enough as Jesus followers to really invite the Holy Spirit to help us uproot unhealthy belief systems in our hearts, because we all have them.

We all have some kind of thinking that's taking us down the wrong path, or it's messed up a relationship or given us an experience that isn't quite what we hoped it would be.

Maybe you're estranged from a parent or from a daughter or a son or from a grandparent or an aunt or an uncle.

Maybe there's tension in your home.

Do we stop long enough and often enough to invite the Holy Spirit to help us see clearly what's really going on?

What do you want to bring healing to?

We're always trying to course-correct surface level behaviors because we think that's where the magic is.

But really, God's like, no, if you just deal with the deep stuff in your heart, then the surface level behaviors will correct themselves.

We're out here trying to fix something.

We had a fight, and we're just trying to fix peripheral things, but the Holy Spirit's like, I want to heal your heart.

I want to heal the picture on the inside of you of home.

I want to heal the picture on the inside of you of what family really is.

And as we start this new series, let's begin with a solid look inside, not at just the peripheral behavioral patterns or the behavior of other people, because we're bitter or angry at how somebody's treating us right now.

No, let's pause together and say, Holy Spirit, can you deal with my heart?

Can you deal with me?

Are you aware that your belief systems about family will greatly impact how you explore, embrace, and ultimately live out your faith in relationship with the Father and your spiritual family?

You might feel isolated, lonely, or distant from a church community right now.

You might have questions: do I really fit in this room?

Do I really belong?

Am I really at home here?

But what if that's actually from a place of you not having dealt with, never feeling safe in the home you grew up in?

Never feeling like you could trust the family that God placed you in when you were younger.

If you haven't dealt with your heart, it's going to be really hard for you to embrace real family moving forward.

We cannot experience wholeness and life and freedom in healthy homes if we don't heal from our wrong belief systems from our past, if we don't allow God to heal us up.

There was a turning point in the Bible between the old agreement that God had with his people and the new covenant that he created through Jesus.

There was this beautiful turning point.

And if you are a Bible reader, I hope you're a Bible reader.

Um if you read your Bible on a regular basis, um, right at that turning point between Old and New is a book called Malachi.

Or for the Italians in the room, Malachi.

Uh the the it have you have you ever heard that joke before?

The Italian prophet?

Malachi.

No, sorry, that's all I got.

Uh Malachi uh chapter four, verses five and six.

This is like the end of the Old Testament, the end of the old agreement.

Thank you for laughing at my jokes, Megan.

I appreciate you.

Um Malachi says, Look, I'm sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives.

His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.

And so there's this priority as the old covenant comes to an end, that there's this prophetic word about the coming Messiah and how his preaching is gonna shift hearts.

And that shift is gonna be restoration of family.

Parents to children, children to parents.

And then the new covenant begins, the start of the New Testament in Luke chapter 1, a direct pickup to Malachi.

Luke 1 · chapter mention

Luke chapter 1, verse 17.

Luke 1:17

He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah.

He'll prepare the people for the coming of the Lord, turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom.

And so here's the the end and the beginning, the end of an old agreement and the start of a new agreement.

The end is this look ahead to restoring family.

The new agreement begins with a look ahead to somebody who's gonna restore family, who's gonna redeem relationships in family.

And that's a part of the beautiful work of Jesus.

The Father's design for family, and the Father's goal for you and I to find freedom and wholeness and fulfillment in family begins with Jesus.

It starts with Christ.

And I truly believe that the love of God our Father beckons each one of us to step deeper into the waters of healing and real relationship with Him today.

Not just peripheral relationship, not just I grew up in a Christian home and I call myself a Christian because I go to church, but an invitation for the power of God to actually heal and transform us from the inside out.

Even still here today.

What if God wants to do surgery on our hearts?

What if God wants to help us unpack those boxes of garbage that we've been carrying around for so long?

Unpack those boxes of things that we've been moving from season to season to season to season.

And today when we open it up, what used to be so painful or what we thought was so heavy is actually just garbage that we need to deal with.

But only God can heal that kind of hurt.

Only God can heal that kind of wound.

But it starts with us being aware that our belief systems, the stuff that's in here, is going to impact how we live out home, how we do married life together, how we pursue romance, how we create family, how we immerse ourselves into this body called family, the church, Jesus' bride, how we do life together.

In the middle of this, before I share just two thoughts, this is a long introduction, but hang with me.

We have an enemy.

As much as there's a good God who shows up in three unique, beautiful ways as Father, Son, and Spirit, we have an enemy.

We have an enemy, Satan, the father of lies.

The Bible says that deception is Satan.

Native tongue.

It's the only language he speaks.

John 8 44, speaking of the enemy.

He's always hated the truth because there's no truth in him.

When he lies, it's consistent with his character.

He's a liar.

He's the father of lies.

In 2 Corinthians 4, it says about Satan that he, the God of this world, blinds eyes.

And so we know that the enemy that we're at war with in our faith fight is all he knows is accusations and lies and deceptions.

That's the only language he speaks.

And so we kind of have to be aware of that as we invite the Spirit to bring us to healing when it comes to family, to move us into healthier relationships, to move us into home.

The thing about an accusation, if the enemy accuses us, the thing about an accusation is I can recognize an accusation.

If Riley here in the second road were to accuse me of keeping my sneakers too clean.

If Riley were to, Pastor Giano, I accuse you of keeping your sneakers too clean.

And I would be like, you can't accuse me of that.

You haven't looked close enough.

They're filthy, they're really dirty.

They just came out of a cardboard box this morning, actually, and they're really dusty and dirty.

So you can't accuse me of that.

So if he accuses me of something, I could call him out on that accusation.

Right?

When the enemy accuses me of something, am I aware of the accusation and do I call him out on it?

When the enemy lies to me, if somebody lies to me, if my father-in-law, who's left the room, I don't think he likes my preaching very much, um, if my father-in-law were to accuse me of making really bad coffee, um, that would be one thing.

If he were to tell you that I make terrible coffee, if he were to lie about me, I'd be able to say, like, that's a lie.

If I overheard him in the hallway saying, my son-in-law makes a terrible cup of coffee, I'd be like, that's a lie.

I'd be able to recognize that that's a lie.

Why?

Because I know the truth.

The truth is I make really good coffee.

I care deeply about my natural process single origin coffee.

I care deeply about extraction and puck prep presentation when I'm making espresso at home.

You should see the gadgets I have and the time I've invested in learning how to make great.

I just say that's a lie.

So an accusation I know, a lie I know, but what about a deception?

When you're deceived, you don't know you're deceived.

You don't see it as deception.

Matter of fact, often when we're deceived, we own it as truth.

We own it as reality, we own it as who we really are.

And so only the Spirit of Christ, through the work of the Holy Spirit, can show us how we've been deceived when it comes to what we believe to be true about family.

Luke 4, this is what Jesus says.

If the enemy wants to blind our eyes to deceive us, Jesus in Luke 4 says that the Spirit of the Lord is upon me.

He's anointed me to bring good news, he sent me to proclaim captives will be released, and that the blind will see.

And that's only what Jesus can do.

Jesus can open blind eyes in the room today where we've been blind to the deception of the enemy, to what we really believe, the values we carry around in the boxes of our soul that the Holy Spirit wants us to see clearly and help us deal with.

The enemy wants us to live blind and deceived to what a healthy home is.

Jesus came to open blind eyes, help us see the truth of who the Father really is, and how he longs to place us into healthy homes, healthy family.

So what if instead of looking ahead to family, dreaming, what if what if instead of looking at God, relationship with the Father, church, family, what if instead of looking through the lens of our past hurts and our cardboard boxes full of garbage?

What if instead of looking through that lens, we actually looked forward through the lens of Christ?

Look forward through the finished, beautiful work of Jesus.

Because that's what God does for you.

Right?

Did you know that God isn't back there looking at you through what you've come through?

He's out in front, looking back at you through the lens of Jesus, saying, Of course, you're mine.

Of course, we can work through this, of course, there's hope, of course there's healing, of course there's victory.

I see, I'm ahead of you.

I know where you're headed.

We can do this.

And God doesn't look at us through the lens of our past experiences, he looks at us through the finished and beautiful lens of Jesus.

So, how do we do that?

How do we allow not our past to define what uh what it means to belong to a healthy family and home, but Jesus ahead of us?

How do we do that?

So, two ideas.

Number one, it starts at birth.

It starts at birth.

On May 7th, 1976, I came into this world as a son.

I didn't earn that.

I didn't pre-qualify for that.

I didn't fill out some kind of quizlet in my mother's womb.

Right?

So that when I arrived, she was like, okay, you can be my son.

I didn't earn sonship, I didn't pre- I didn't have to write a test.

I just popped out and they instantly knew me and loved me as son.

And that's beautiful.

The same holds true for you.

I don't know when your birthday is, but the day you arrived on planet Earth, the day we arrived on the planet, little Disney touch for the Disney lovers in the room.

You slid in as daughter or son.

You didn't pre-qualify.

And it's actually kind of cool to think that the only title that you carry for your entire life is son or daughter.

Think about it.

In every season, you are son or daughter.

In every season, from the time you're born to the time you graduate into eternity, you carry the name son or daughter, child.

It's something, it's the only title you carry for your entire life.

Son, daughter.

In healthy spiritual homes, in healthy families, you are a daughter or you are a son, and you didn't pre-qualify, you didn't earn it.

Guess what?

You're not a servant in the kingdom of heaven, you're not a slave in the kingdom of heaven, you're not an outsider in the kingdom of heaven, you're not a passive bystander in the kingdom of heaven.

Right here today, you are a daughter, and you are a son in heaven's kingdom.

It starts at birth.

It starts with knowing who you are because of whose you are.

Galatians 4 puts it this way: when the time came, God sent his son, born of a woman, subject to the law.

God sent Jesus to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.

And because we're his children, God sent the spirit of his son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, Abba, Father, now you are no longer a slave, but God's own child.

And since you are his child, God's made you his heir.

Spiritually speaking and biologically speaking, you are a daughter, you are a son.

And it starts at birth.

Many of us at some point, the Bible calls it a new birth or born-again, you've probably heard that turn.

Are you a born-again Christian?

Is there any other kind?

All right, because at some point we made a decision to surrender our lives to the finished work of Jesus, and there was a spiritual shift in us.

At some point we prayed a prayer where we said, Jesus, I'm all in.

And there was a spiritual rebirth where instantly you became a daughter.

Instantly you became a son.

That's what Jesus did for us.

Because we're his kids, God, his spirit inside of us allows us to cry out, Abba, Father, that's who we are.

That's who we are.

And it starts at birth.

Biologically, you were born into this world.

Spiritually, you are reborn into this world.

But you are daughter or you are son, and nothing can strip that away from you.

The enemy wants to deceive you into thinking that you're not a daughter, that you're not a son, that you don't qualify somehow.

The enemy wants to convince you that because of the things you've gone through, because of the hurt you've experienced, that somehow you're left out, somehow you're disqualified, somehow you're not enough.

Healthy homes begin with healing from our past and resting in our identity as daughter, as son.

And there's lies already pushing up in the room.

I can feel it in the room.

There's already lies going, he's talking about somebody else.

He's not talking about you.

You don't deserve what he's talking about.

If only he knew what you've gone through.

If only knew he knew what you thought about God.

If only he knew some of the things you've said, if only he knew some of the things you've done.

No, that's that's a lie, and the enemy wants to use lies to deceive us so that we don't fully embrace our identity as sons and daughters.

Romans 8 puts it this way All who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.

You've not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.

Instead, you receive God's spirit when he adopted you as his own children.

Now we call him Abba Father, for his spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children.

Man, that's my prayer.

Would God's spirit join with your spirit to affirm that you are daughter, that you are son in the room today?

For his spirit joins with us, and since we are his children, we are his heirs.

In fact, together with Christ, we're heirs of God's glory.

You are a daughter, you are a son, you always have been, and you always will be.

You were born into it, you didn't have to qualify for it, you didn't have to write a test somewhere along the way.

You just had to pop out.

Is that gross?

I don't think so, but it started the day you were born, and it started the day you were reborn into life in Jesus.

You are daughter, you are son.

I believe that God's love in the room.

I believe that his love, his real love, beckons us to just like move deeper into relationship with him.

Not peripheral, not superficial things, not external things, but deeper into our love as our who we really are, our identity, our worth as daughters and as sons.

But like Robin and his box of garbage, we actually have to open some things up and go, oh my goodness, I've been carrying, I've moved this four times.

I've moved this around, I've had this for 35 years.

That's not in my notes, but I love that.

I've you I've I've had this for 30.

I need to open this up, I need to deal with it.

But not from a point of hurt or failure or regret.

I need to deal with this from my worth as a daughter, my worth as a son, the value that God's inherently placed within me because of the finished work of Jesus.

We open up these bins and we see what's worth throwing away or what's worth keeping.

And I and as I thought about it this way.

Um in our house, we have these bins in the garage that have keepsakes in them.

I talked about this on Father's Day, keepsake bins.

And I thought about it yesterday because Riley was going through a box of stuff, and he pulled out a few things that he wanted to throw away, and he pulled out a few things that he wanted to put into his keepsake box.

Some soccer medals and some artwork from like grade seven because COVID.

And uh he he said, Dad, can I get my keepsake bin?

I want to keep these things.

And I looked, I'm like, yeah.

And he said, I think I think I just need to throw this stuff away.

And I'm like, Adaboy, you don't need this stuff anymore.

And it was just like random trinkety stuff that I think he won a Chuck E.

Cheese.

I don't know.

It was just random stuff.

But he went down and he got his keepsake bin and he put things of value into the keepsake bin and then he put it back on the shelf.

Because someday he's gonna open that up and go, I remember, and it's gonna fill him with life and joy, and he's gonna remember.

But when it comes to our story in our past, we don't often like intentionally store away the stuff of value.

We store away all the pain.

We store away, I'm I'm the black sheep of the family.

We store away, oh my my dad loved my sibling more than my dad loved me.

We store away, I never really truly knew my mother's love.

We store away, I've hurt too many people, we store away, I'm a disappointment.

We store away all the painful stuff rather than the things of value.

And that's the box that the Spirit of Christ, in tandem with your spirit, as daughter, son in the room, wants to open up today and say, it's time to throw this stuff out.

It's time to be healed, it's time to be set free, it's time to move forward into life and family.

No wonder we struggle to find health in home.

No wonder we struggle to really figure out what it means to immerse ourselves into a healthy family.

We've been carrying around garbage for far too long.

Accusations, lies, deceptions from the enemy.

We've been carrying it around like it's us.

And the Spirit of Christ in the room says, now I want to set you free, daughter.

I want to set you free, son.

What do you really want to keep?

Are we aware that our belief systems about family are actually impacting how we do life right now in church family, in family homes, marriages.

But this begins at birth.

It begins with you knowing that the only name you carry for your entire life is daughter or son.

From the time you were born to the time you were reborn to the time that you die.

At some point you might add in husband, mother, boss.

There's other titles you're gonna wear, but the only one that you carry for your lifetime is son.

Daughter.

It starts at birth.

You might be watching online today or here in the room, and a steady stream of lies already has been whispering to your heart.

Even as I'm talking about this, there's a part of you that's like, I want to be free.

I want to be healed, but I don't belong here.

I'm not good enough for family.

If they only knew the truth about me, I can't possibly be loved and find wholeness here.

If they found out what I've come from, what I've done, they would reject me.

There's this steady stream of lies pushing out your heart.

Can you allow, just even just like acknowledge that lie right now, whatever it is, and just be like, no, no, no.

Because what if instead of looking at family through the lens of our past, we looked at family and healthy homes through the lens of Christ.

And that leads me to my second thought.

If it begins at birth, moving forward, we get to choose.

We get to choose to see that the Father actually loves us deeply, that we bring him great joy, and that he's pleased with us.

We get to choose that moving forward.

Not that we're a disappointment to dad.

Some of us carry that around.

We we we believe that we disappointed our biological father so much, either because uh that that dad expressed that or abandoned us, so it must have been on us.

We we carry around the disappointment of relationship and we project that onto God.

And that's what I'm talking about today.

God doesn't want to look at us through the lens of our past, he looks at us through the lens of his son.

And this is what he says to Jesus our look ahead, our faith-filled response, our Jesus-tainted lens today leads us to Matthew 13.

Along with the Spirit, a voice from heaven said, This is my son, chosen and marked by my love, delight of my life.

Can you hear the words of the Father speaking that over Jesus as his son today?

But I want you to hear it, the words of the Father speaking that over your heart today.

You are his daughter, his son, chosen and marked by his love, the delight of his life.

You are.

In the NLT, that same verse says, This is my dearly loved son who brings me great joy.

Did you know that you bring the father great joy?

In the NIV, here's one more.

This is my son whom I love, with him I am well pleased.

It starts at birth.

As soon as you're born into a healthy family, healthy spiritual family, you are chosen and marked by the Father's love.

You are the delight of your father.

You bring your father great joy.

He is well pleased with you.

That's not over time, that's right away.

That's in that moment.

It's hard to experience the gift of a healthy home and healthy family if all I do is look through the lens of my past.

I have to look through the lens of Jesus.

Past experiences with my earthly family, my biological family, my adopted family, my foster family.

When we look through the past of those things, often all we see is the hurt, the disappointment, the regret, the pain.

Past experiences with other expressions of church family that hurt us.

I don't want to step into real life in church family because I went through that thing at that last place I thought I was safe at, but turns out I wasn't.

And so I'm guarded and restrained and carrying around boxes of garbage when it comes to spiritual home.

We look back and see all the moments where we didn't feel marked by love.

We felt like a disappointment, or we felt like a failure, or we felt betrayed, or we felt let down, or we felt like we weren't good enough.

And all of those things have feelings attached to them.

And guess what?

We're not called to be a people of feeling.

We're called to be a people of faith.

And faith has us looking ahead through the lens of Jesus to say, despite what I've been through, I'm loved.

Despite what I've been through, I bring my father great joy.

Despite what I've experienced, I'm the delight of my father, despite what I've walked through.

That's what faith does.

And maybe today you're keenly aware of some level of sadness or brokenness attached to your heart when you think about family.

But there's good news.

We get to look forward in faith through Christ, not through the lens of our past.

And I think it's important for us to recognize what the Father spoke and affirmed in Jesus took place before Jesus did all of the Jesus y things.

Yes.

Somebody's like, did he say Jesus y?

Your brain got stuck on that.

I did say Jesus.

The Father speaking over his son took place before Jesus did any of the Jesus y things.

Right?

Before the preaching, before the signs and wonders, before the miracles, before he laid out his life on the cross as a sacrifice for all of humankind, before all of the Jesus y things, before he earned it, God spoke it.

That's how I'm confident.

Before you think you're disqualified or you haven't earned the Father's love or you haven't earned a rightful place as son or daughter or heir, before you get your brain out like I don't deserve this, guess what?

God speaks that over you because you are daughter, because you are son, not because you've earned it, not because you've written a test, not because you've passed an exam, but simply because you're the delight of his life.

Your daughter, you are son.

Can we honor and recognize that the voice of the Father speaking over our soul today is that he loves us deeply, that we bring him great joy, and that he's pleased with us.

If you believe that truth and began to live your life out from that truth, what would change?

What would change?

If you woke up tomorrow morning from a place of knowing that you're between you and God, it's good, you're deeply loved, you bring him great joy, he's pleased with you, would that impact how you love your spouse?

Absolutely.

Would that impact how you honor your place of employment or your boss?

Absolutely.

Would that impact how you interact with your kids?

Absolutely.

If you found healing and freedom in knowing who you are as daughter, as son, and that the Father is pleased with you, you're the delight of his life, you bring him great joy.

Would that change how you interact with the world around you?

Absolutely.

Instead of walking on eggshells and second guessing yourself and constantly looking to the things from your past, you look boldly ahead in faith to the finished work of Jesus.

Because remember, we have an enemy.

Satan, the father of lies, the deceiver.

And in this room right now is his voice whispering, the pastor says that God loves you, but I just want you to remember you're unlovable.

That whisper is pushing at somebody's heart.

You're unlovable.

And so we with faith and boldness say, no, no, no, no, no, enemy.

You can't lie to me.

I call that lie out.

I'm a daughter, I'm a son, my father, and my family.

They love me deeply.

Period.

End game, done.

Mic drop.

You can't whisper that lie over my heart anymore.

And so he tries another approach.

You're such a disappointment.

And you're like, am I?

No, I'm not a disappointment.

I'm a daughter or I'm a son, my father and my family.

They're well pleased with me.

Between me and him, it's all good.

You can't call me that anymore.

He's like, fine.

I'll try another approach.

No one sees you.

You don't matter here.

And you're like, oh, maybe that is true.

I remember a season in grade school where nobody saw me, or high school where I didn't matter.

Maybe that's true.

No, that's a lie.

I matter here because I'm a daughter.

I matter here because I'm a son.

My father and my family.

They're delighted in me.

I bring them great joy.

I fit here.

These are my people.

This is my tribe.

This is my healthy home.

Any lie, any whisper, any deception from the enemy can be quickly turned around into life-giving truth, bold faith because of who God calls you to be.

Interesting that immediately following the Father's affirmation of Jesus as his son, in whom he was pleased, Jesus went into the wilderness where he was tempted.

Went for 40 days of fasting.

And I'd never read it this way, but the enemies whispered to Jesus in Matthew 4.

Matthew 4, verses 1 through 3.

Matthew 4:1–3

And in verse, uh, then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil.

For forty days and forty nights he fasted, became very hungry.

And during that time the devil came and said to Jesus, If you are the Son, end quote.

And all three of the temptations of the enemy, the enemy began with, If you are the Son, if you are the Son, if you are the Son, Jesus, right after he was affirmed by the Father, affirmed by the voice of God, you are my son, the enemy comes right away and says, if you are the son.

And the enemy's going to do the same thing for you and I as we just begin this conversation about healthy homes.

Isn't it like the accuser to immediately come and challenge who we truly are?

Isn't it just like the enemy to immediately come and some kind of lie, some kind of whisper, some kind of accusation, some kind of deception to try and say, no, no, no, no, no.

This can't be for you.

We need to acknowledge the work of the Spirit to help us identify and heal from the hurts and the wounds from our past.

Open up that box and see what we've been carrying around, moving from season to season to season to season.

And we've been scared to open it up because we know that inside that represents disappointment or pain, neglect, or hurt.

I see you.

We've all got something.

We've all got something.

The older we get, the more this matters.

The more seasons we carry that box through, the more this really matters.

And some of us reach a point where we're like, ah, is it even worth dealing with anymore?

And I want to tell you, yeah, it is.

It's worth inviting the Spirit in to help you see clearly, help you heal fully, so that you can actually step into this moment, this season, wherever you're at, healthy home, healthy family, healthy worth as daughter, healthy identity as son.

Because the only label we carry for our lifetime is daughter or son.

From birth to rebirth, right to the end.

And so it's easier to get caught up in the tension of husband than it is to deal with my heart as son.

It's easier to get caught up in the busyness of mom than it is to deal with my heart as daughter.

It's easier to get caught up in the pride of being a boss than it is to acknowledge my my neglect as son.

The older we get, the more we have to do this work.

Each new season, the only role we play throughout our entire life is daughter.

Son.

From birth to rebirth to death.

Church, the Father's design for family and the father's goal is that we'd find freedom and wholeness and fulfillment in family that that only begins with Jesus.

That only starts with Jesus.

And the good news is that our stories are all still being written.

All still being worked out.

We're not done.

You've got breath in your lungs, you're not finished.

You're still this side of the earth.

You've still got work to do.

You've still got healing to wrestle through.

You've still got invitation from the Spirit to help you boldly look ahead in faith through the lens of Jesus.

Church, he loves you.

You bring him joy.

He's pleased with you.

You're marked by his love.

You're the pride of his life.

You are his daughter.

You are his son.

He's placed you in family.

His design, his plan.

Together, we're gonna learn how that works.

Thank you so much for listening to today's message.

If you're ever in the Edmonton area, pop by for a visit.

And if you need any more information, visit EvolveChurch.com.

We hope to see you soon.